4.3 Writing the Introduction Q Focus Read the following essay question and introductory paragraph.. Timed Exercises — 10 minutes each For each essay question in Exercises 4.3.A through
Trang 14.3 Writing the Introduction
Q Focus
Read the following essay question and introductory paragraph
Some people think that government should spend as much money as
possible on developing space technology for the exploration of the
moon and other planets Others think that this money should be spent
on solving the problems of society on Earth Which view do you agree
with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Society is often divided on major issues involving government spending While
some people believe that as much money as possible should be spent on space
exploration, others think we have an obligation to try to solve social problems on Earth
Both views are compelling; however, | believe there are stronger reasons for seeking
knowledge beyond our world If we invest in developing technology for the exploration
of space, we may discover knowledge that will benefit society on Earth
Think about each sentence in the paragraph What does each sentence do?
The first sentence introduces the general topic of how government should spend money
Society is often divided on major issues involving government spending
The next sentence focuses on the two ways of spending money mentioned in the question
While some people believe that as much money as possible should be spent on space
exploration, others think we have an obligation to try to solve social problems on Earth
The next sentence focuses even more on the question and takes a side
Both views are compelling; however, | believe there are stronger reasons for seeking
knowledge beyond our world
The last sentence states the writer’s opinion
If we invest in developing technology for the exploration of space, we may discover
knowledge that will benefit society on Earth
The last sentence is the thesis statement, the idea that must be supported in the rest of the essay
DrLrA'e Key 10 THE TOEFL® Test 493
Trang 2
4.3 INTRODUCTION
* DO YOU KNOW ?
1, The introduction is the first paragraph of an essay The purpose of the introduction is to let the
readers know what to expect in the body of the essay
The introduction contains a thesis statement The thesis, sometimes called the controlling idea,
is the main idea of the essay The thesis statement is the most important sentence of your essay
because it expresses your opinion about the topic The thesis is usually stated in the last sentence
of the introductory paragraph
The thesis statement may preview the points you will make in the body of your essay, in the order
in which they will be discussed Previewing your supporting points will help the readers know
how your essay will be organized
2 On the essay test, a good introduction contains three or four sentences
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The above plan will work for any of the four types of essay questions you might see on the
TOEFL or TWE
Look at the following examples of introductory paragraphs
Question Type 1 — Agree or Disagree with a Statement
In question type 1, your agreement or disagreement with the given statement is the thesis you
must support
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
You should not believe everything you read in the newspaper
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
Newspapers are an important source of information, and for some people this is
their main source of news every day However, some people think that you should not
believe everything you read in a newspaper There are many reasons why this statement
is true, A lot of newspapers have propaganda, focus on scandal, or are not as up to
date as the news on television
Trang 3Question Type 2 — Choose and Defend a Point of View
In question type 2, your choice of which position you agree with is the thesis you must support
Some people believe that in high school science classes, girls should be in classes with only girls, and boys should be in classes with only boys Others believe that all high school students should be in science classes that are coeducational, with students of both genders learning together Which view
do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
The issue of coeducational science classes is controversial Some people think that
girls should be in science classes with only girls On the other hand, some people believe
that girls and boys should study science in the same class | believe that girls should have
the opportunity to learn science in the best way possible If girls learn better in an all-girl
class, they should be allowed to do so
Question Type 3 — Explain Reasons, Causes, Results, or Qualities
What is the most important product or resource in your country? Why is
it important? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer
Many countries are famous for a certain product or resource The most important product in my country is information technology The several related industries involved
in the production of information technology have transformed my country by modernizing
it and making it an economic power
Question Type 4— Compare and Contrast Two Topics
Compare and contrast two cities or regions in your country Use specific details and examples to support your answer
Rural areas are different from urban areas in most countries In Indonesia there are
a lot of differences between the capital city and the small villages In this essay, | will
discuss the similarities and differences between Jakarta, the capital city, and the village
of Padua in West-Borneo, where most of my relatives live
Timed Exercises — 10 minutes each
For each essay question in Exercises 4.3.A through 4.3.F, write a thesis statement, outline, and introductory
paragraph For the introduction, use the general plan for an introduction on page 494 as a guide
Spend your time like this:
® 5 minutes on prewriting (thinking, brainstorming, outlining)
®~« 5 minutes on writing the introduction Detta’s KEY TO THE TOEFL® Test 495
Trang 44.3 INTRODUCTION
Exercise 4.3.A
Some people want to have a job where they can make or do things with their hands Other people
prefer having a job where they can work with their heads and think about things Which type of
job do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
Exercise 4.3.B
Compare the qualities of a good parent with the qualities of a good teacher Use specific details
and examples to support your response
Exercise 4.3.C
What is the most important change your country has undergone in the past twenty years? What are
the results of this change? Use specific details and examples to support your answer
Exercise 4.3.D
Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Employers should be required to provide smoking areas for their employees who smoke tobacco
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
Exercise 4.3.E
You want to persuade someone to travel to your country What reasons would you give? Support
your answer with specific details
Exercise 4.3.F
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large shopping mall near your community
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community Do you
support or oppose the shopping mall? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
4.3 EXTENSION
Lo OTF
Choose one of the introductory paragraphs you wrote for Exercises 4.3.A through 4.3.E,
Exchange papers (introduction only, not the outline) with a classmate Read your
classmate’s introduction and identify the thesis statement Do you think your classmate’s
essay will successfully answer the question? What do you expect to happen in the body
paragraphs of the essay? With your classmate, discuss both of your introductory paragraphs
496 DELTA'e Key To THE TOEFL® Test
Trang 54.4 Writing the Body and Conclusion
Q Focus
Read the following essay question and paragraph from the body of the essay
Some people learn by reading about things Others learn by doing things
Which of these methods of learning is better for you? Use specific examples
| learned how to ride a bicycle and drive a car by experience | rode a bicycle
when | was six years old Because | could not read about it, | had to get on the
bicycle and use my feet and hands | could also learn from my mistake when | fell
off my bicycle Similarly, | learned to drive a car by doing it Although | had to study
a driving manual and take a test on a computer, | could not learn driving well until
From reading the above paragraph, can you tell which method of learning the writer prefers? How
do you know this?
What is the main point of the paragraph? How is this point supported?
The first sentence of the paragraph is important
| learned how to ride a bicycle and drive a car by experience
The first sentence gives the topic and main point of the paragraph This topic—learning how to
ride a bicycle and drive a car by experience—is developed with several details
six years old
use my feet and hands
fell off my bicycle
practiced driving in a car
The writer also contrasts learning by doing with learning by reading
Because | could not read about it
Although | had to study a driving manual
The writer’s thesis—a preference for learning by doing things—is supported with specific
examples—tiding a bicycle and driving a car—which are developed with details in this
paragraph from the body of the essay
DeLta’s KEY To THE TOEFL® Test 497
Trang 64.4 Bopy AND CONCLUSION
Y DO YOU KNOW ?
The readers who score your essay will look at
#® how the ideas in your essay are organized
oe how your thesis is developed and supported
Ome how you use English to express your ideas
2 The body of the essay consists of the middle paragraphs, which are sometimes called
developmental paragraphs These paragraphs develop the idea expressed in the thesis statement
Each body paragraph should have a topic sentence which expresses the main point of that
paragraph The topic sentence of each body paragraph is developed with specific examples, details,
facts, reasons, or personal experiences
The topic sentence of each body paragraph should be a point that supports the thesis of the essay
When ail of the points in the body support the thesis, the essay has unity
The body paragraphs follow the introduction and are arranged in the most effective order for
impressing the reader and supporting the thesis Sometimes the order of the body paragraphs is pre-
viewed in the thesis statement Sometimes the order is arranged from the least important to the most
important supporting point, or vice versa
3 The conclusion is the last paragraph of an essay The concluding paragraph should leave your read-
ers with a feeling of completion The conclusion can do one or more of the following:
* restate the thesis in different words (paraphrase)
®>% summarize the supporting points
Se state an opinion
°~« make a recommendation
&~a give a solution
2% đraw a conclusion
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Read the following concluding paragraph from an essay What does the writer do in the conclusion?
In summary, a new theater would enrich our school in ways that a new computer lab
would not A theater would enable us to expand our music and drama programs, explore
our rich cultural heritage, and strengthen our bonds with the community For these reasons,
| recommend that our prize money be used to build a new theater Investing in the performing
arts is a celebration of our humanity
The above paragraph states an opinion, which may also restate the thesis
In summary, a new theater would enrich our school in ways that a new computer
lab would not
It summarizes the important points
A theater would enable us to expand our music and drama programs, explore our
rich cultural heritage, and strengthen our bonds with the community
498 DeLtA’s KEY To THE TOEFL® Test
Trang 7It also makes a recommendation
For these reasons, | recommend that our prize money be used to build a new theater
Finally, the last sentence completes the essay
Investing in the performing arts is a celebration of our humanity
Note: On the TOEFL, spend approximately 20 minutes on writing the introduction, body, and
conclusion of your essay
An essay has coherence when all of the ideas within paragraphs, as well as between paragraphs, are
connected to each other logically If your essay is coherent, it is well-organized and easy for your
readers to understand
Transitions are words and phrases that can help you express relationships between ideas within and
between paragraphs Using transitions gives your essay organization and coherence
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DeLta’s Key To THE TOEFL® Test 499
Trang 84.4 Bopy AND CONCLUSION
26: PRACTICE
Exercise 4.4.A
Read the following essay Underline the thesis statement and the topic sentence of each body paragraph
Circle supporting details and transitions
There are a lot of different ways for people to learn new things People can learn by reading,
or they can learn by doing things For some people, learning is better either one way or the other |
prefer to learn by doing things because when | do something myself it becomes more real than
when | read about it
| learned how to ride a bicycle and drive a car by experience | rode a bicycle when | was six
years old Because | could not read about it, | had to get on the bicycle and use my feet and hands
| could also learn from my mistake when | fell off my bicycle Similarly, | learned to drive a car by
doing it Although | had to study a driving manual and take a test on a compuiter, | could not learn
driving well until | practiced driving in a car
Another example is mathematics When | was a child, my teacher made the students measure
our classroom We measured the length and width of the room This is how we could calculate the
area of our classroom | can never forget this because mathematics became real for me
Finally, I learned how to use a computer by doing it | tried to read the computer manual, but
this was difficult for me because the book was very complex | learned more when | sat at the
keyboard and tried using several keys Of course, my teacher explained some things about the
computer However, | could learn best when | experienced it
It is true that | have to learn some things by reading, such as history and literature Reading
gives me important knowledge However, for most skills that | need for my life, such as driving and
using a computer, | prefer to learn through action These skills must be experienced for me to really
learn them
Could you identify the thesis, topic sentences, supporting details, and transitions?
What does the writer do in the concluding paragraph?
Analyze and evaluate the essay with your teacher and classmates
Exercise 4.4.B
Timed exercise — 15 minutes
Choose one of the introductory paragraphs you wrote for Exercises 4.3.A through 4.3.F in the previous unit
Allow yourself 15 minutes to complete the essay with body paragraphs and a conclusion
Form “essay reader” groups of three people to evaluate the essays written for Exercise 4.4.B
You will read the essays of two other people In turn, your essay will be read by two people
For each essay you read, identify: (1) thesis statement, (2) supporting points, (3) supporting
details, and (4) transitions What does the writer do in the conclusion? Does the essay answer
the question? Within your group, discuss all three essays
Trang 9
4.5 Checking Paragraph
and Sentence Structure
Q Focus
Read the following essay question and paragraphs from two different responses
Choose one of the following occupations and explain why it is important to society
Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer
Paragraph | Most importantly, journalists leave behind a record that tells the story of our times
News stories focus on facts such as what, where, when, and why events happen Because
journalists attempt to tell the truth about events in the present, we can later look back at
their stories and better understand history When we want to research the details of the
Persian Gulf War or the fall of the Soviet Union, where do we look? Usually we read the
news magazines of that time These are the gifts that journalists left us
Paragraph 2
The athletes they are good for entertainment People like to watch athletes play
Especially for children athlete provide a good model For example, basketball and soccer
player It is something to hope Also, athletes they show how important is exercise Because
people can see to keep fit Athletes good for the country One reason is patriotism My country
likes athletes go to the Olympics For example, track and field, swimming, and basketball
Which paragraph is better?
Both paragraphs give specific reasons and details However, Paragraph | is stronger because it is
clearer about the point it is developing, Most importantly, journalists leave behind a record that tells
the story of our times Paragraph 1 also shows variety in sentence structure
In Paragraph 2, what point is being developed? Is there a topic sentence? Paragraph 2 also has prob-
lems with sentence structure What is wrong with the following sentences?
For example, basketball and soccer player
Also, athletes they show how important is exercise
Because people can see to keep fit
Remember, you do not have to worry about whether your readers will agree with your opinion
However, you do have to be concerned with writing paragraphs and sentences that clearly communi-
cate your opinion by using English appropriately
Trang 104.5 PARAGRAPH AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE
ụ DO YOU KNOW ?
502
The readers who score your essay will look at
*s how the ideas in your essay are organized
®~< how you use English to express your ideas
°~s the variety and structure of your sentences Note: Allow around five minutes at the end of the 30-minute test to check paragraph structure,
sentence structure, and word choice, and to make any changes that would clarify your meaning If you handwrite your essay, cross out errors and write corrections neatly above them
Each paragraph in the body of the essay should develop one point Usually, this point is stated
in the topic sentence of that paragraph The topic sentence is often the first sentence of the
paragraph All other sentences in the paragraph should provide details, examples, or personal
experiences to develop the topic sentence
Generally, the body paragraphs in TOEFL essays contain four to seven sentences However, there
is no strict rule for how long each paragraph should be The essay readers are more interested in
what you write than in how much you write
Indent the first line of each paragraph On the computer test, you must use the Space Bar to
indent the beginning of a paragraph because the Tab key will not work
Your essay will be easier and more interesting to read if you
®~s use a variety of short and long sentences
®~s avoid common sentence errors Use conjunctions or subordinating words to join short sentences into longer sentences
Example: Athletes provide entertainment People like to watch athletes play
Better: | Athletes provide entertainment, and people like to watch them play
Because athletes provide entertainment, people like to watch them play
Example: The factory is built in my community It will cause noise
Traffic will increase I oppose building the factory
Better: If the factory is built in my community, noise and traffic will increase;
therefore, I oppose building the factory
Remember, a sentence must have at least one subject and one verb A sentence can be composed
of one or more clauses, which must be joined appropriately with conjunctions or subordinating
words (See 2.8, 2.11, 2.20)
Avoid the following sentence problems:
Incomplete Sentences (Fragments):
Example: Because Earth is our home
Better: | Earth is our home
Because Earth is our home, we need to protect our natural resources
DELTA’S KEY TO THE TOEFL® Test