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Hair: Adir Abergel, creative director of Virtue Labs, at Starworks Artists.. Manicure: Lisa Peña-Wong at Opus Beauty using Chanel Le Vernis.. COSMOPOLITAN and CosmoHair by COSMOPOLITAN

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BEFORE

AFTER

Sex Hella Romantic

132 Cosmo Uncovers the

Secret Plot to Kill Your Sex Life

“Markle Sparkle”?

116

T he big-screen star is all grown up

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The Wall Group Manicure: Lisa Peña-Wong at Opus Beauty using Chanel Le Vernis Photographed by Kai Z Feng

December

Fannie Schiavoni dress

C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

The year’s most badass gift giver?

You Check out our guide on

page 41, then head online for even

more options perfect for everyone

from your makeup-crazed aunt to

your marathon-training work wife

to your tech-obsessed bae.

“truth or dare” cards with

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Q_ If you could describe your first time in three words, what would they be?

A_ Curiosity Secrecy Passion

Q_ Turkish women can’t resist someone who is…

A_ Powerful and swanky

Q_ How would you describe the dating culture in Turkey?

A_ Right now, it feels like no one is into being in a committed relationship

Q_ But when people

do couple up, when

is it time to DTR?

A_ It depends on the situation, but if there are strong feelings, after one to three months

Q_ PDA: yea or nay?

A_ Nay

HOW WE DO IT…IN TURKEY

Q&A with Özlem Kotan, Editor-in-Chief

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Michele Promaulayko

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I n a previous issue, I posed this question at the end of my editor’s letter:

Do you think using the term ballsy is

sexist because it equates courage with maleness? The most popular response can

be summed up this way: “Hmm I never really thought about it But now that you mention it, yeah!” Same here

On a related note, another thing many

of us haven’t given enough thought to

is how we reflexively assign negative connotations to typically feminine qualities or behaviors For example, feeling deeply and being emotional is often derogated Or that so-called gossip (a nasty-seeming word) is actually, in its purest form, a means of connecting socially with other women A new book,

The Feminine Revolution, by Amy Stanton

and Catherine Connors, repositions these sorts of characteristics and actions

as assets, and the authors back up their premise with research and historical references In “On My Mind” (renamed

“On Our Minds” this month!), Amy and

Catherine argue that the feminine skill of seduction is useful outside the bedroom when you strip the word of its salacious definition and recognize that seduction is really the ability to win people over Flip to page 32 to read what they have to say

It so happens that Amy is a friend and I’m quoted in the book One of the points

I make is that femininity has been so maligned (specifically, at work) that you must be a badass boss in order to embrace

it fully I sort of envy women who do that organically because I have suppressed those qualities to some degree, thinking it was the smart thing to do Well, no longer

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Nest Fragrances Holiday 3-Wick Candle,

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Theresa Griggs

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Sascha de Gersdorff

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CHIEF FASHION DIRECTOR,

WOMEN’S GROUP Aya Kanai

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HEARST MAGAZINES Leah Wyar Romito

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Li ndsey Benoit O’Connell

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BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Laura Brounstein

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FEATURES

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Ashley Oerman (Wellness)

ASSISTANT EDITOR Taylor Andrews

ENTERTAINMENT MANAGER Ki Williams

EDITORIAL BUSINESS COORDINATOR

Car yn Kanare

ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

So phie Lavine

CONTRIBUTORS Logan Hill, Matthew Hussey,

Emily Morse, Esther Perel, Aurora Tower, Julie Vadnal

HEALTH ADVISORY BOARD

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C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

December

2 Sugarfina’s Rosé All Day 3-Piece Bento Box ($28, sugarfina com) turns your fave drink into dessert

5 Serve a boldly colored lash with

Maybelline New York’s Snapscara

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22

10. Newly minted

movie star Lady

Gaga heads to Sin

City for Enigma,

($16, amazon.com) explores the darkly comedic problems of

Half-Night Stand

($12, amazon.com) imagines the results

12 Some casual stalking turns into

to a creepy training program in Sarah Selecky’s Radiant

in one of the city’s most iconic buildings trying to reignite his famous dad’s career.

a royal touch

plays both a duchess and a commoner in

The Princess Switch (November 16)

18

podcast tale of a trippy true story (November 25)

20 Holiday plans go awry when an addict son shows up at his family’s house for a surprise visit, leading to a chaotic Christmas Eve in

Ben Is Back, starring

Julia Roberts

(December 7)

21 On the Basis

of Sex portrays judicial badass Ruth Bader Ginsburg on her rise to HBIC (December 25)

22. Picture Jason Momoa, shirtless, soaking wet

Intrigued? The rugged actor takes on the sea

in Aquaman (December 21).

23 In Mary Queen

of Scots, two literal queens in gorgeous gowns battle each other for power (December 7).

new nanny in town

Emily Blunt floats

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“We go on ble dates, just

dou-BK and me and our wives We

do what we call family dinner.”

—TYLER

“It’s important

to have date nights Explore together and find new places

That brings a cool sense of romance and intimacy.”

—BRIAN

Haute Country

“I’m a Florida boy I wear board shorts or jean shorts and

a cutoff shirt or vintage T-shirt every day…and probably a base-ball hat For shows these days, I’ve trans-formed into the denim cowboy

On red carpets, I get to be some-body different for a night I got

a flask in my Gucci boot.”

—BRIAN

Brian Kelley and Tyler

Hu bbard have an album

out in February, a Vegas

re sidency kicking off,

we shared a house when we were in Nash-ville We refer to our relationship

as a marriage

We didn’t have a ceremony, but

we got married

in the sense of committing to each other.”

—TYLER

Collab Dreams

“It would be crazy and cool

to do something with Eminem just because I’ve been listening

to his new album and if you put a little FGL flavor and Emi-nem together,

I think that could be some-thing unique and different.”

—TYLER

BRIAN KELLEY

TYLER HUBBARD

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Something people get wrong

about me: There’s confusion

if you know me from certain

roles I don’t have minions,

and I’m not planning and

plotting and being a conniving

queen bee I have a weakness

for: Babies, puppies, kittens,

sunsets, sunrises The moon

when it’s full, particularly when

it’s yellow or red Anything

decadent like cheese, burritos,

cake, pizza, pie, alcohol

I guess I’m really weak My

best trait: I’m kind My worst

trait: I lean toward worrisome

and neurotic My weirdest

quirk: I eat food in the car as

if [the dashboard] is a table

I will dress a bagel and drive

down a dirt road while I try to

eat it Current MCM: I’ve been

listening to The Wilderness

podcast—the host of that,

Jon Favreau Current WCW:

Kirsten Gillibrand Man, she is

so charismatic and personable

and just really cool My life

mantra: What I say the most

in my mind is That’s sexist

It’s not really a mantra, but

it is the truth of the world.

30

C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

the quickie

With actress, singer, and Single

Parents star Leighton Meester

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by Amy Stanton and Catherine Connors

Copyright © 2018

leveraging your strengths

It’s not about getting what you want by flashing some cleavage It’s about having confidence in your own magnetism So figure out your best assets, whether that be your intellect, sales savvy, or impeccable taste Do some-thing every day that uses your special talents so that the

“muscle memory” of those traits stays toned Practice purposeful withholding by choosing not to lean in to a conversation sometimes, espe-cially when it involves lots of noisy, competing voices Let people ask you for your opinion

Identifying powerful moments

to quietly or implicitly assert how awesome you are, rather than wearing it on your sleeve,

is undeniably seductive in the best possible way

Talking about seduction in a

positive light probably seems

tone-deaf given the current

climate of tension (not

the good kind) that exists

between men and women

right now But stick with us

Seductiveness is one of the

oldest characteristics linked

to feminine behavior Eve,

the OG woman according

to the biblical story, is often

thought of as the first

seduc-tress, tempting Adam with

the apple and getting them

both kicked out of the Garden

of Eden As a result, Eve is

often labeled as a sinner But

consider this: Her supposed

use of seduction triggered

humanity’s shift from

igno-rance to enlightenment If

Adam and Eve hadn’t gotten

booted from that garden, we

might still be there, naked

with no appletinis

Seductresses are all over

ancient works such as The

Odyssey, fairy tales, and

Shakespeare’s plays and in

modern-day movies and TV

shows like Cruel Intentions

and The Vampire Diaries (the

very word vamp stems from

vampire) More recently,

the Lolita-esque character

of Amma in HBO’s Sharp

Objects acts coy and sugary

in order to draw people

in The temptress is often a character whose power seems almost witchy She’s bold, sexy, and irresistible

Here’s the problem: These seductive women rarely get

a happy ending They end up foiled, spurned, or…dead They never land the guy, and “good girl” heroines prevail because

of their purer nature resses are not to be trusted

Tempt-They’re female tricksters, and nobody likes to be tricked

Understandably, in the midst of the #MeToo move-ment, women are going out of their way to tamp down any hint of seduction for fear of being labeled as scheming, calculating, or worse But now more than ever, it’s time to put these old-fashioned tropes to bed, so to speak Because at its core, possessing seductive abilities is really just a next-level version of possessing self-confidence—no exces-sive flirting, sexting, or clingy dresses necessary

In fact, if you remove sex from the seductress equation entirely, harnessing innately alluring attributes may be the ultimate female superpower

The style of seduction we’re talking about is nuanced, purposeful, and careful It entails winning people over—

Stanton (left) and Connors challenge outdated perceptions.

my mom refused to teach me how

to drive because she

is terrified

of accidents

Since I was determined to learn, I made

a copy of her car key, and every night for

an hour, I would sneak her car out to

my high school parking lot and literally taught myself how

to drive.”

—CASSIE C., 23, CUSTOMER-SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE, ELMONT, NY

Confessions

C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

“One time, my frie nd used

m y computer

to log in to her

I nstagram

a nd forgot to sign out. Ever since then, I use her account to creep on my ex and his new girl-friend because they’re blocked

on my profile My pal has no idea!”

—MARIE P., 23

“I was at a foam party

i n my frie nd’s frat house I went down on him

boy-i n the foam,

t hinking it was a great hiding place.

It was so hidden that another couple fell on us and we all toppled over.”

snor-i sland tour

T he water was a little rou gh, and when I got back on the boat, I walked almost halfway through the crowded aisles before a staffer told me my swimsuit top had shifted and I was very exposed

Oopsies!”

STRATEGIST, CHICAGO, IL

“I’ve always had a thing for Prince

Harry, so when I lived in London, I

would try to go out to all the places

he went, hoping I’d run into him!

I literally followed British tabloids

and stalked his friends’ Instagram

accounts to see where he was.”

— VALERIE R., 28, E-COMMERCE MERCHANT, HOUSTON, TX

Celeb Confession

“When I was younger, I always hung out with the neighborhood boys I finally had the courage

to stand in line for their pickup basketball game, and I was picked on the

‘skins’ team

Like all the other boys taking off their shirts, I took off mine, exposing my flat chest I was just so excited

to be chosen!”

TOO FUNNY!

Photographed

on location at Tijuana Picnic

C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

“I just moved into a new apartment

and decided to go buy groceries

When I got back, my key didn’t work

I started knocking, hoping one of my

roommates was home to let me in

After about five minutes of yelling, I

realized I was on the wrong floor!”

—ELIZABETH F., 21, STUDENT, NEEDHAM, MA

“I was told

I would be lea ding our team meeting

at work the next morning

I’m super shy, and

I was crushing on

a colleague who comes to our office from time

to time I didn’t want to stumble,

so I practiced in the mirror I decided to go all out and treat my team to muffins

to break the ice Big mistake! My crush was allergic

to nuts and, without realizing

it, went straight for the banana walnut Just as I began to talk, his whole face started to break out in hives and his throat began closing up He rushed out and ended up in the emergency room!”

—SHARI C., 32, HOUSING OUTREACH, ELMSFORD, NY

takes the stairs—

mind you, our

was already

start-ing his lesson