Lecture+5+–+ interpersonal+and+ transferable+ skills+ part+ c

The lecture includes: Oral communication Nonverbal communication Adapting your communication style Informing Different ‘styles’ of communication used for different purposes: • • Information needs and priorities
what do they need and want to know •• How much others know already? •• How much others know already?

Lecture

Interpersonal and Transferable

Skills Part C

Oral Communication

Oral communication is

communication ‘by speech’ It is

communication’ :

communication’ :

words.

Oral Communication

Oral Communication – – Cont’d… Cont’d…

Oral Communication

Oral communication is:

•• More immediate interaction

very quickly as you ask and answer questions and exchange

information

•• More going on

process

and (if you are communicating face-to-face) through facial

expressions, gesture and appearance These ‘signals’ are

collectively known as ‘body language’

Oral Communication

Oral Communication – – Cont’d… Cont’d…

Oral communication can be:

person, in order to get a response

•• Projection of voice

volume will be ineffective in a large room with a high ceiling and heavy curtains

Oral Communication

Oral Communication – – Cont’d… Cont’d…

Speaking Skills – Cont’d…

•• Intonation

Encouraging? Affectionate? Enthusiastic? Indifferent? Hostile?

•• Pace and Pauses

sentences Avoid excessive use of ‘um’ or ‘er’ and phrases like ‘sort of’ and ‘I mean’

According to Back and back, such behavior involves:

•• Standing up for your own rights

person’s rights

•• Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and

beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways

•• Standing up for your own rights

others

•• Ignoring or dismissing the needs, wants and opinions in inappropriate ways

Oral Communication

Passive (or non-assertive)

Passive behavior is a ‘fight’ reaction to frustration, conflict or threat It usually takes the form of giving in to others demands According to Back and Back, non-assertion implies:

•• Failing to stand up for your rights

•• Failing to stand up for your rights

•• Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in apologetic, diffident (Shy) or self-effacing

(modest) ways

•• Failing to express honestly your needs, wants opinions, feelings and beliefs

Oral Communication

Techniques of assertion

Asking for what you want:

•• Decide what it is you want or feel, and express it directly and specifically

•• Stick to your statement

• Deflect (keep away/ repel) responses from the other

person

response, but are not going to be sidetracked

Oral Communication

Techniques of assertion – Cont’d…

Saying no without upsetting yourself or your colleagues:

•• Don’t be pushed

asking for time to decide, to think or obtain more information

•• Say ‘no’ clearly and calmly, if that is your answer

rejecting a person

Oral Communication

Techniques of assertion – Cont’d…

•• Acknowledge your feelings

say so: the other person will be reassured that you are giving him

or her due consideration

•• Watch your body language

‘no’ signals by sulking

ingratiatingly (agreeing / pleasing), lingering as if waiting to be

talked out of it, etc

Oral Communication

Receiving criticism and feedback

Distinguish between valid criticism (legitimate), invalid criticism (untrue) and a put down (hurtful or humiliating)

•• Invalid criticism and put downs

Should be handled simply and assertively with a straight forward denial: ‘ I don’t accept that at all”

→ learning how to take the initiative, to prompt specific criticism, in

order to use the information if it is constructive or expose an attempt

to put you down or be negative.

Oral Communication

Giving criticism

Effective communication will be impossible if you make the other person

defensive or aggressive or if you let your own feelings get in the way Guidelines are as follows:

•• Describe the behavior

And express your feelings about the behavior to the individual personally

And express your feelings about the behavior to the individual personally

•• Ask for a specific change of behavior

Being specified separates constructive criticism (which involves give and take) from attack or complaint

•• End on a positive note

Stating something positive that you feel E.g ‘In all other areas, you’re

doing fine, so I hope we get this sorted out’.

Oral Communication

Listening skills

Many benefits are available from effective listening:

•• Quick, direct source of information

Which may be useful to you

•• Speaker’s tone of voice

Helps you to interpret underlying message E.g someone is serious or joking

•• Interactive and flexible

You can ask questions or add information of your own, to make

communication process more effective

•• Builds relationships

By encouraging understanding of another person’s feelings and point of view

Oral Communication

Listening skills – Cont’d…

Guidelines on being a good listener:

give appropriate feedback to achieve both of the above (asking for repetition

or louder delivery, asking questions, encouraging the speaker to continue and so on)

Oral Communication

Critical listening – Cont’d…

•• Look for balance or bias in the argument

may or may not be conveniently signaled verbally

• Supporting evidence

• Supporting evidence

appraise supporting evidence given, if any

•• Source’s credibility

consider the source credibility and purpose in communicating

• Own biased perceptions

Don’t dismiss the message because you dislike the voice

•• Speaker’s vocabulary, tone, manner and selection of content

say over and above the surface message

say over and above the surface message

• Why is the speaker saying this

and in this way (vocabulary / tone of voice)?

•• Speaker’s feeling

whether or not it is actually said?

Oral Communication

Empathetic listening – Cont’d…

•• How would I feel in the same situation?

• How might this idea/information apply to me, to my life?

• How might this idea/information apply to me, to my life?

•• What feedback can I give that would be helpful to the speaker

both to improve and encourage communication and to meet the underlying motives and needs (for encouragement, respect, friendliness, comfort or whatever)?

•• Use non-verbal cues (factual expression, tone of voice, etc)

state your own case and not hearing out can all cause communication to break down completely)

•• Allow silence (participants must have time to formulate their thoughts,

mentally come to a conclusions and prepare what they are going to say)

Oral Communication

The Telephone

Prepare before you make a call:

•• Know what result you are aiming at

•• Know what result you are aiming at

•• Know to whom you should be talking

•• Know what you want to say

•• Listen carefully to the message

•• Listen carefully to the message

•• Check your understand (ask for a repetition or spelling if you do not

understand)

•• Never leave callers hanging

•• Speak clearly and with a certain formality and keep your tone appropriately helpful

•• Take concise notes (of any details you may require to follow up)

•• Co-operate with the caller (e.g providing information)

Non Verbal Communication Verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication is communication without words, or other than by words.

We can control and use non-verbal behavior:

• Instead of words

•• To confirm or add to the meaning

of our words

something out and saying ‘look’)

Non Verbal Communication Verbal Communication – – Cont’d Cont’d …

We can control and use non-verbal behavior: - Cont’d…

• To give appropriate feedback to another communicator

•• To create a desired impression

Non Verbal Communication Verbal Communication – – Cont’d Cont’d …

Studies show that people believe the body language more than the words For example wearing a grim expression while saying

‘Everything’s fine’) If you can be aware of other people’s body language, and interpret its meaning, you can:

• Receive feedback

•• Recognize people’s real feelings

•• Recognize interpersonal problems

•• Modify your communication/response strategy

Non Verbal Communication Verbal Communication – – Cont’d Cont’d …

Body Language ‘Cues’

(anything said or done)

• What is it that we see and

interpret when we say ‘He

looked upset’ ‘I could tell

he was nervous’, or ‘ She

didn’t say anything, but I

could tell she was pleased’?

Non Verbal Communication Verbal Communication – – Cont’d Cont’d …

Body Language ‘Cues’ (anything said or done)

Adapting Your Communication Style

Informing

Different ‘styles’ of communication used for different purposes:

• Information needs and priorities

•• How much others know already?

•• How much others know already?

not

•• Avoid jargon

•• Communicate clearly, simply and directly as possible

Adapting Your Communication Style

Adapting Your Communication Style – – Cont’d… Cont’d…

Informing – Cont’d…

• Use visual aids

understandable

•• Provide an appropriate volume of information

•• Provide an appropriate volume of information

to have Consider the degree of accuracy required

Adapting Your Communication Style

Adapting Your Communication Style – – Cont’d… Cont’d…

Influencing

Adapting Your Communication Style

Adapting Your Communication Style – – Cont’d… Cont’d…

Being Assertive

Assertive communication involves:

• Standing up for your own rights – but in such a way that you do not violate another person’s rights

• Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in direct and honest – but appropriate ways.

Adapting Your Communication Style

Adapting Your Communication Style – – Cont’d… Cont’d…

Negotiating

Negotiating is a process of:

• Purposeful persuasion

marshalling persuasive arguments

• Constructive compromise

position and compromises can be made while still meeting the key needs of both parties

Adapting Your Communication Style

Adapting Your Communication Style – – Cont’d… Cont’d…

Negotiating – Cont’d…

A basic ‘win-win’ approach to negotiating (using a purchasing negotiation, for relative simplicity) is as follows:

• Read course book page 656 for the

10 steps approach to negotiating.