We all want to feel that other people like us, that they seek our company, that they enjoy being with us.. To form a friendship, you must like some-one.. Most people get more pleasure f
Trang 1Well, no You can't actually MAKE someone
like you But you can behave in ways that
will make it slightly more likely
We all want to feel that other people like
us, that they seek our company, that they
enjoy being with us Having close
relation-ships is one of the most meaningful
ele-ments to happiness Also, social contact
brings a big boost in mood—for extroverts
and introverts alike (surprising though this
may seem)
To form a friendship, you must like
some-one But you must also be likeable
How can you boost the chances that
some-one will like you? Here are seven strategies
to keep in mind:
1 Smile No, this doesn’t come as shock,
but studies do show that the amount of
time you smile during a conversation has a
direct impact on how friendly you’re
per-ceived to be
2 Be easily impressed, entertained,
and interested Most people get more
pleasure from wowing you with their humor
and insight than from being wowed by your
humor and insight
3 Have a friendly, open, engaged
de-meanor Lean toward people, nod, say
“Uh-huh,” turn your body to face the other
person’s body Don’t turn your body away,
cross your arms, answer in monosyllables,
or scan the room (or look at your
Black-berry! I have seen this happen!) as the
other person talks
4 Remember trait transfer In “trait
transfer,” whatever you say about other
people influences how people see you If
you describe a co-worker as brilliant and
charismatic, your acquaintance will tend to
associate you with those qualities
Con-versely, if you describe a co-worker as
arro-gant and obnoxious, those traits will stick to
you So watch what you say
7 tips for making someone
like you
NUS
5 Laugh at yourself Showing
vulner-ability and a sense of humor makes you more likable and approachable However, don’t push this self-deprecation too far – keep it light You’ll make others uncom-fortable if you run yourself down too much
6 Radiate energy and good humour
Because of the phenomenon of “emotional contagion,” people catch the emotions of other people, and they prefer to catch an upbeat, energetic mood Even if you pride yourself on your cynicism, biting humor,
or general edginess, these qualities can
be conveyed with warmth
7 Show your liking for another per-son We’re much more apt to like
some-one if we think that person likes us Look for ways to signal that you enjoy a per-son’s company
It’s particularly worth your effort to be your friendliest when you meet someone for the first time Studies show that within ten minutes of meeting a new person, we decide how close a relationship we’ll have with that new acquaintance, and that in evaluating people, we weigh early infor-mation much more heavily than informa-tion acquired later
Any of these ideas work for you? Anything else that you do that works for you? Let
us know Email campuscoach@nus.edu.sg
Article extracted with permission from Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project:
http://www.happiness-project.com/
Counselling and Psychological Services www.nus.edu.sg/uhc/cps