cosmopolitan UK

I’ve had as many failures as I’ve had successes and written about them all in my book, The Discomfort Zone, in case you’re interested in what they look like.. FARRAH STORREditor-in-Chie

WANTS THE HATERS

TO KISS HER ASS

9 770141 055290

1 0

✱ On the cover

TESS HOLLIDAY Wants the

haters to kiss her ass

IS SUCCESS AN ILLNESS? The

high-flyers ‘killing it’ at work

THE MALE MODEL &

THE NERD Life with the

UK’s most eligible man

‘THEY TURNED ON ME’ The

rape survivor #MeToo disowned

TOTAL CHIC The influencers’

high-street edit

THE OTHER LOVER

Why I vetted my wife’s affair

GET PLUGGED IN Podcasts

that dissect our favourite TV

shows almost as much as we do

SEE YOU AT… Where to do a

little dance, eat a little grub and

generally get down this month

A NOVEL FORMULA One

award-winning author on how

to write your very own tome

GENERATION FAME

The famous-actor offspring

you need to know now

JOIN THE JAZZ LEAGUE

Your weird uncle’s favourite

genre gets an urban upgrade

POWER PLAYERS

How Instagram’s helping

us to read more books

MY CULTURED LIFE Milla

Jovovich likes Toblerone and

chicken tikka masala But not

at the same time Obviously

THE COMPASS This month’s

cultural ups and downs

CONFESSIONS You shared, we

listened, then we laughed (sorry)

onten

OCTOBER

2018

HOT RIGHT NOW! What’sblack, white and spread all over?

These products, that’s whatGRUNGE KISSES ’90s lipsHACKED OFF How one writer

reallyfeels about her new noseINGE HAS ISSUES…

Floral skincare: fad or fab?

BEAUTY LAB Do yourtalons need to visit NailRehab? We say “go, go, go”

LUPIN IT TO WIN IT Sprinklethis superfood into your

smoothies, take on the world*

HARDWIRE YOUR HEALTHEssential reading if you’re keen

on being fit in your fortiesTHE BIG GUNS Want to bring

’em out? Follow this routine firstFAIR & SQUARE Rememberhow good you were at geometry

at school? Nope, us neither But

we excel at wearing patternsinspired by it to the gym

PEARLY QUEEN A bag fitfor a princess (AKA you)SOFT TOUCH These fabrics

are giving us all the feels

HEY, HOW DO I WEAR…

’70s style?

PUT THE BOOT IN Chunky,Western and over-the-knee

designs for seriously happy feet

STEP SIDEWAYS Why getting crabby could help your careerHOW TO MANAGE YOUR BOSS Think you might end

up stuck in that coffee-making, dry-cleaning-collecting, 24/7- phone-call-answering cycle forever? Allow us to help SELF MADE How Birchbox’s Katia Beauchamp got her start-

up signed, sealed and delivered

CAN YOU CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN ONE DAY? Four

Cosmopolitan staffers’ raising attempts to do just that…

hair-PLEASURE TRIP How to enjoy yourself, the continental wayWORST DATES EVER It’s all fun and games till your date is sick on their plate

MY BEST SEX EVER WAS… with my online troll

FIRST LOVE If these two get back together, we’re automatically invited

to the wedding, right?

MEET THE GRIPSTERS Mimicking Charlie Dimmock has never been cooler (pop

a bra on though, eh?)THE BEST OF BRITISH Can’t afford to go abroad?

We hear you Try the UK’s

20 best hotels instead

FROM THE EDITOR

MEET TEAM COSMOPOLITAN

COSMOPOLITAN CONTRACT Meeting a mate’s new flame ◆

78

92

137 138

139 142

145

146

9 10 162

82

Tess Holliday isn’t taking any sh…

57

Behold, the perfect new- season bag

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 9

FARRAH STORR

Editor-in-Chief

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I don’t know who first asked me this question, but I do know I was young enough to dream big and old enough to remember the answer

“I want to be a writer with six Great Danes, and live in a cottage in the country that has roses round

the door, with a man who writes poems.” (True story

Recounted to me time and again by those who bore

witness to this highly specific set of life goals.)

Over time, however, that dream faded from view Not

because my ambitions changed, but because the world

around me did As I headed into my teens, my father, in

the well-meaning but misguided way fathers often do,

made it clear there were only four career options out there

in the big, wide world: doctor, lawyer, engineer or… failure

School was little better A writer? The very word

appeared to send careers advisors into spasms of shock

Instead they would try to side-hustle me by gushing about

the beige-sounding opportunities to be found within the

civil service.* Good, solid careers crammed with prospects

and a porky pension at the other side

“Writing is very hard to make a living from,” one advisor

said to me, shaking their head “Very few people ever make

it.” And so I started to modify my dream, transforming it

into something more palatable for those around me

But grand passions, like unfinished love affairs, don’t die

quietly They live inside you… waiting Waiting and hoping

that one day you’ll turn, look back and let them in

I was 24 when I decided to turn around and dare to

dream about a career in journalism once more I took

the first job that would have me, and then set about

moving swiftly up the ladder, grabbing what wisdom

4 Keep in touch by following

me on Twitter @Farrah_Storr

and experience those along the way had to offer I hadlost time, but I hadn’t lost passion or my goal

Someone who never let their passion be dimmed was our cover star, Tess Holliday Tess always knew she wanted

to be a model – but the world said otherwise Too fat, too

short, too much was the message it repeatedly sent back

to her And so she found a way to make it happen It wasn’t overnight It took years of hustle, years of graft and years

of searching to find another avenue down which she could travel to get there

Because there is always a way, as long as you accept

that passion alone will not get you there It will be the power in your engine, no doubt, but not the wheels that make the journey Sacrifice, grit, keeping your head when the world seems cruel and forbidding – these are,

in many ways, the things you ultimately need when chasing down a dream

I’ve had as many failures as I’ve had successes (and written

about them all in my book, The Discomfort Zone, in case

you’re interested in what they look like Disclaimer: there’s

a lot), and I have also made big personal sacrifices Because

the truth is, you can’t have it all But you can have most of

it – as long as you are very clear on what that looks like

I don’t have children and I don’t have a large friendship group, but I do live in a cottage with roses round the door, a man who writes and two oversized doodles that share my life As for

writing… well, you know how that worked out

Michelle Elman,

£14.99

She’s not

She’s gorgeous As is this honest, riveting book.

Chanel Les Beiges Healthy Glow Lip Balm,

£31 Makes you

look like you just “got some”

– sexy and natural

I have every colour.

Mortar

& Milk

Small, discreet and offers possibly the best facials in the UK right now Ask for Pamela

Tell her I sent you.

Bobbi Brown Long- Wear Weightless Foundation, £31

I’m obsessed My skin is obsessed

You will be obsessed

j

FARRAH STORR

Editor-in-Chief

Editorial Assistant DANIELLA SCOTT

Deputy EditorSHOSHANA GOLDBERG Creative DirectorSTUART SELNER

Associate Editor AMY GRIER Special Projects Director LOTTIE LUMSDEN

FE ATURE S

Senior Editor CATRIONA INNES Features Writer JENNIFER SAVIN

Features Intern KATE PASOLA

D E SI G N

Art Director VICTORIA HORN (maternity) Acting Art Director MARTIN IXER

Senior Designer JESSICA LOCKETT Junior Designer KATIE WILDE

PI CT URES

Picture Director CAT COSTELLOE Picture Editor NICOLE HOLCROFT-EMMESS

PRODUC TI ON

Workflow Director CHRISTINA SIMONE

Chief Sub-Editor HANNAH JONES Deputy Chief Sub-Editor STEPHANIE JACKSON

B EAUT Y

Beauty Director INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN

Beauty Editor CASSIE POWNEY Beauty Writer JO TAYLOR

FAS HI ON

Fashion Director AMY BANNERMAN Senior Fashion Editor SAIREY STEMP

Bookings Editor SOPHIE LEEN Fashion Assistant MADDY ALFORD

COSMO POLITA N.COM/ UK

Digital Editorial Director CLAIRE HODGSON Fashion & Lifestyle Editor JESS EDWARDS

Beauty Editor VICTORIA JOWETT Entertainment Editor ANNA LEWIS

Senior News & Health Writer CATRIONA HARVEY-JENNER

Senior Sex & Relationships Writer PAISLEY GILMOUR

Entertainment & Lifestyle Writer DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT Fashion & Beauty Writer LAURA CAPON

Head of Social Media LAUREN SMITH Multimedia Producer ALEX HERING

Senior Motion Graphics & Snapchat Animator CHARLOTTE TEMPLE Snapchat Editor SOPHIE BOYDEN

CONTRI B UTORS

AMANDA STATHAM (Travel)

Acting Group Managing Editor CONNIE OSBORNE Finance Business Partner EMMA JONES

Hoover twice a day

I can’t relax when

the carpet looks even

slightly walked on.

HE ARST MAGA Z I N ES UK

President and Chief Executive Officer JAMES WILDMAN

Executive Assistant to the President and Chief Executive Officer FAYE McNULTY

Chief Financial Officer/Chief Operating Officer CLAIRE BLUNT

Chief Strategy Officer ROBERT FFITCH Chief Operations Director CLARE GORMAN

HR Director SURINDER SIMMONS Head of PR FAY JENNINGS Director, Hearst Live VICTORIA ARCHBOLD 020 7312 4105

MD, Hearst Brand Services JUDITH SECOMBE

Marketing & Circulation Director REID HOLLAND

Head of Consumer Sales & Marketing MATTHEW BLAIZE-SMITH

Head of Subscriptions JUSTINE BOUCHER

Head of Marketing Promotions AOIBHEANN FOLEY

Digital Marketing Director SEEMA KUMARI Deputy Head of PR BEN BOLTON

Head of Business Management LUCY PORTER Business Manager BETH RONAN 020 3757 1004

HE AR ST CO M ME RC IA L

Chief Agency Officer JANE WOLFSON 020 7439 5685

Associate Publisher and Client Director, Beauty STEVEN MILES

MD, Fashion & Luxury JACQUELINE EUWE MD, Fitness & Health ALUN WILLIAMS

Director of Travel DENISE DEGROOT Director of Motors JIM CHAUDRY

Client Director, Personal Finance JACQUIE DUCKWORTH

Client Direct Director EMMA BARNES

Group Agency Director JONI MORRISS Regional Director DANIELLE SEWELL Luxury Directors SHARON DAVIES RIDGWAY, LEE BAILEY, JHAN HANCOCK-RUSHTON

Head of Classified LEE RIMMER 020 3728 7707

HE ARST MAG AZI NE S INTER NATIONAL

Senior Vice President, Managing Director Asia Pacific & Russia SIMON HORNE

Director of International Licensing & Business Development RICHARD BEAN

Senior Vice President/Editorial & Brand Director KIM ST CLAIR BODDEN Deputy Brands Director CHLOE O’BRIEN

International Brands Editor JACQUELYN GALGEY

Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997) HELEN GURLEY BROWN

I NT ERNAT ION AL E D ITIONS

Argentina Australia Brazil CRISTINA NAUMOVS Bulgaria Chile China YVONNE LIU Croatia ALEKSANDRA ORLIĆ Czech Republic SABRINA KARASOVA Finland STINA MANTYNIEMI France MARIE LA FONTA Germany ANJA DELASTIK

Hong Kong RUQIYAH LAW KAM YING Hungary JOHANNA SABJÁN India NANDINI BHALLA Indonesia FILISYA THUNGGAWAN Italy FRANCESCA DELOGU Kazakhstan ANEL ABDUALIYEVA Korea EUNJI KIM Latin America LUCÍA SOTELO SANTOS Latvia Lithuania VIOLETA KALIKAUSKIENE

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M A N AGI NG DI REC TOR

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Classic beauty-writer answer: sheet masks

I can’t take any more Halloween references from my partner/ flatmates/neighbours.

Tell us something you only do when you’re alone

RANDOM QUESTION OF THE MONTH

Paint my toenails – no one needs to see the contortion required to reach that tiny pinkie

Talk to myself in

a Welsh accent.

Pretend I’m in the

Olympics Mentally,

I can turn anything

into an Olympic sport.

Bizarre stretches –

I have really tight hips

If you’ve ever spent a sick day desperately flicking between The £100K

Drop and A Place In The Sun, you’ll know there are a multitude of

reasons to be thankful for on-demand TV But with so much on ofer,

it can be impossible to find a buddy to dissect your favourite show with Enter the world of TV recap podcasts, which digest your show of

choice, episode by episode Look out for Post Show Recaps, covering everything from Game Of Thrones to Westworld, as well as Alright

Mary, the ultimate RuPaul’s Drag Race analysis Then there’s Gilmore Guys, where a veteran fan gives a debrief on every episode, alongside

a new watcher No word on A Place In The Sun’s edition yet, sadly.

GET IN LINE

Cheltenham Literary Festival, Cheltenham

What is it? A week crammed with speakers like Sir David Attenborough, Graham

Norton and Cosmopolitan

editor-in-chief Farrah Storr – plus a street-food market.

ÅInsider tip: Keep checking the line-up online, even

on the day Not all the speakers are formally announced and there are usually some good lurkers.

Cheltenhamfestivals.com

nchester

it? “Social Darts”, AKA

a huge bar, a lot of pizza and

14 bookable dartboards ÅInsider tip: Pre-book, and keep in mind that it’s usually busier

on weeknights.

Flightclubdarts.com

Frida Kahlo Brunches, London

What is it? Mexican food, cocktails, extravagant flower installations, DJ sets and live entertainment, all in honour of the artist A Frida-fest.

ÅInsider tip: It’s

a bit more than

a brunch – come prepared for a party.

Leicestersquare kitchen.co.uk

Because your work-life balance should

always tip to one side

The Hits Of Beyoncé

& Destiny’s Child, Glasgow

What is it? Sound awful?

Trust us, it’s not This show

pays homage to Queen B

and her supergroup,

with three amazing

like this stunner (left).

ÅInsider tip: Scout out the incredible Dior gown worn by Princess Margaret on her 21st.

Vam.ac.uk

From 19th

OCT

DATES FOR YOUR DIARY

tterlondon.com

Flight Club, Manc

What is it?

a h

CHAPTER 1

Y 0 U

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 19

HOW CLEAN BECAME OUR WINNER

The Big Book awards showcase the finest new and emerging fiction and non-fiction across the UK – with

all the books on the longlist being independently judged by Cosmopolitan’s readers, the editors and our

guest judge, author Giovanna Fletcher (left) Clean tells the story of Lexi, an indulgent rich

kid who becomes a heroin addict and consequently finds herself in rehab Clean scored the highest mark across the board (although it was very tight – to

find out which other reads almost made it, check out Big Book’s Instagram

@hearstbigbook) “It seemed so real in places, you felt everything the

protagonist was going through,” says Fletcher Clean, Quercus, £7.99

JUST KEEP WRITING

Ten years ago, I was working

as a teacher and writing on

holidays and at weekends

Then I submitted three

chapters of my first book,

Hollow Pike, to an agent,

who then signed me up My

agent sent it to publishers,

but it got a lot of rejections

That can be tough, so you

need a healthy amount of

confidence: I’d had some

interest from agents, so I

knew my writing couldn’t

be bad But it’s important

to keep learning: looking

back, I had a long way to go

I was in an online writing

group, and constantly asked

for feedback Even now I’m

always trying to improve

DO IT IN STAGES

Sitting down at a computer and thinking “I’m going

to write a bestseller” is an impossible task Instead

I look at it in small stages,

so if I’ve finished a chapter, that’s a success, and when I make it to 100 pages, that’s

a success And I wasn’t hard

on myself when I didn’t feel like writing I’d just

do something different, but relating to the book, like make a Pinterest board of

what Lexi [Clean’s heroine,

a drug addict] might wear,

or watch a documentary on addiction Research is vital

I relied on the testimonies

of addicts who told me about their experiences

BE YOURSELF

Less is more Don’t try to be

a writer, just try to sound

like yourself With Clean

I stopped trying to fit in with what was popular

While I was writing it,

I was thinking, “This is never

going to get published” –

I was between contracts, had a new agent, and was writing about this foul-mouthed 17-year-old heroin addict But it’s my best-selling book I wrote

a very rough draft over the summer of 2016, and just let Lexi’s voice guide it But you need a bit of planning:

I knew how it would begin and end I couldn’t go off

on a total tangent

GET INSPIRED

I moved to London

a fortnight after the

2011 riots, and lived in Clapham Junction, which was one of the areas that was most affected A year later, I was reading a newspaper and came across the story of a blonde girl who came from this hugely wealthy Chelsea family, who’d been driving a getaway car while her boyfriend looted TK Maxx She intrigued me so much and lived in my head for

a while Then, one night,

I began to write her as Lexi and just couldn’t stop

Generation fame

Hollywood’s latest exports come with semi-familiar faces and

very familiar names Introducing…

n, who looks more like Mel

bson than actual Mel Gibson.

b he’d rather you forgot:

orking as a massage erapist for two years.

epotism scale: His big break war-drama blockbuster

Hacksaw Ridge Definitely

nothing to do with Dad directing it…

Family balls-up he wishes you didn’t know: That time his dad called a policewoman “sugar tits” Or how about that anti-semitic rant Mel blasted

at another police officer when

Who? The 27-year-old progeny of actor Sean

Penn and House Of Cards’

Robin Wright.

Job she’d rather you forgot:

Horror flick Condemned, which

got a rating of 3.6 on IMDB.

Nepotism scale: Dylan went from a complete unknown

to landing a big fashion campaign with Gap Hmm…

Family balls-up she wishes you didn’t know: Remember when dad Sean was sent to anger-management classes after attempting to kick a photographer and damaging his camera during a scuffle

Who? Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon’s 26-year-old daughter, who plays Skye

Miller in 13 Reasons Why.

Job she’d rather you forgot:

Starring in brother Travis’s

music video for Hangman

Give it a listen if you hate your eardrums.

Nepotism scale: She got her first acting gig at 13,

in 2005 drama Loverboy

It starred Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon It was produced by Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon It was directed by Kevin Bacon

Bacon overload, anyone?

Family balls-up she wishes you didn’t know: When dad Kev appeared on television

show Finding Your Roots and

he was arrested for driving under the influence?

Perks of the family name:

Debuting in Oscar-contender

Hacksaw Ridge was up there.

Catch him in: WW2 epic

Hurricane, alongside Game Of Thrones’ Iwan Rheon, which

is in cinemas this month.

discovered a distant cousin…

his wife Kyra Ew.

Perks of the family name:

She was headhunted for

hit series The Closer after

impressing the show’s director with her role in that Bacon-

family classic Loverboy.

Catch her in: Netflix romcom

The Last Summer, coming to

your screens next year.

on the streets of Los Angeles back in 2009?

Perks of the family name:

See her on every good FROW, from Dior to Armani.

Catch her in: Action-thriller

Nomis, alongside Henry Cavill

and Ben Kingsley, which hits cinemas later this year.

Who? Ralph and Joseph Fiennes’ 20-year-old nephew

He played young Voldemort, AKA Tom Riddle, to his uncle’s

older version in Harry Potter

And The Half-Blood Prince.

Job he’d rather you forgot:

He may want to brush up on his interview technique: when

asked about the Half-Blood

Prince afterwards, he seemed

pretty clueless about the whole franchise and couldn’t name a favourite

Nepotism scale: Thousands auditioned for the role, but there could only be one

winner… nephew Hero.

Family balls-up he wishes you didn’t know: Uncle Ralph’s

mid-flight “trip” to the loo with an air stewardess on his way to India to promote HIV awareness for UNICEF.

Perks of the family name:

Hero models for big labels like Dolce & Gabbana and Erdem.

Catch him in: Thriller Safe, on

Netflix, and look out for him

in coming-of-age film After.

Wh Mo son Gib G Jo J Wo W the t Ne

BRUNO MARS O R DAFT PUNK ?

JOIN THE JAZZ LEAGUE

catalogue can soundtrack all

sorts of chilled nights in…

Check out: His show at O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire,* or his YouTube Colors session.

IAMDDB

You need Mancunian monarch of trap-jazz IAMDDB She mixes hip- hop and sass-dripping lyrics – and is about to blow up.

Check out: IAMDDB Unscripted, the YouTube series charting her success.

IBEYI

You’ll like urban jazz with

a side of pop soul Try Ibeyi, AKA twins Lisa-Kaindé and Naomi Diaz (They were in

Beyoncé’s Lemonade video.)

Check out: Their latest

album, Ash, and European tour, from late September.

BLUE LAB BEATS

That get-together you’re planning is begging to be accompanied by Blue Lab Beats, a north-London duo who specialise in jazztronica (jazz and electronica, FYI)

Check out: Oooo Lala, taken

from debut album Xover.

Definitely not

my jam…

I’m not budging

Trap’s my favourite – sign me up!

PICK A SCENARIO:

DINNER PARTY

O R DAT E NIG H T ?

POUR

YO URSELF

A V INO AND COME BACK

IN 1 0?

FAN OF TRA P STA RS LIKE CA RD I B

W HE RE DO

YO U STAND

O N HO USE MUS IC ?

D O YO U

P REFER MULT INSTRUMENTALIST MEN OR BADASS

I-WO MEN?

W HAT IF

IT WAS MIXED INTO CHART- WORTHY HIP-HOP AND R&B?

What the hell is trap?

The more drops and drum machines the better

Daft Punk, please!

Let Jorja

be my tastemaker

Far, far

away from it…

Gimme some guys

The Sex And The City

soundtrack is jazz, right? Kind

of dated, but I’m open-minded

Now you’re talking…

Caramel-toned crooning à la Bruno Mars…

Beyoncé all the way, obviously

I’m getting lucky!

Help me, I’ve got friends coming over!

Female vocalists all the way

In between the outfits of the day and heavily edited selfies, there is a quieter corner of the internet

that wields just as much power as the Zoellas of the web Meet the bookfluencers – YouTubers and Instagrammers who simply love reading, and want to share that And with followers and video views into the millions, it’s no wonder publishers are eager for them to champion new releases Us? We just like to know what’s good without sifting through 57,367 GoodReads reviews…

@BooksAndQuills

hUSP: Beautiful travel shots,

alongside book recommendations.

Sanne is Dutch, and exploring

her way around the UK while

working in publishing in London.

hRecent rave: “Home Fire by

Kamila Shamsie, a modern

retelling of [Greek tragedy]

Antigone about love, family

and politics.”

LeenaNorms

hUSP: Poems As well as book

reviews, Leena recites her own poetry on her YouTube channel.

hRecent rave: Sheila Heti’s

Motherhood, “her fictionalised

account of her struggle with the question of becoming

a mother… I have been hopping like I’m on hot coals trying to persuade everyone to read it.”

@SweptAwayByBooks

hUSP: Nature A Canadian

currently living in Scotland, she snaps the books she’s reading by lochs, in fields and snow-covered cabins.

hRecent rave: “The Air You

Breathe by Frances de Pontes

Peebles This book will make you ache: with jealousy, with pain and with love I adored it.”

@LucyTheReader

hUSP: Vintage Always fancied

getting stuck into the classics?

Lucy will inspire you to do so.

hRecent rave: Rebecca by

Daphne du Maurier: “2018 is the

80th anniversary of Rebecca’s

publication… It mixes intrigue with mystery and brings Cornwall to life in a way that makes you feel you live there.”

Meet the Instagram stars deciding what you read next…

I Invited Her In, Adele Parks

Once a chick-lit queen, Parks has turned her hand to thrillers – which always have relationships

at their heart Mel invites her oldest friend Abi to stay until she finds her feet, but Abi has ulterior motives.

An Unwanted Guest, Shari Lapena

Her pacy plots have made her one of crime fiction’s best-selling authors Here, she weaves a tale about a group on

a remote weekend away When a body

is discovered the trip becomes

terrifying.

Grist Mill Road, Christopher J Yates

This thriller combines highbrow writing with a compelling plot, flipping between 1982 when a violent attack occurs

in dark woods, and the 2008 financial collapse when everything comes

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 25

First thing you read in the mo

Apple News on my iPad

Favourite emoji?

The cry-laugh

Last TV binge

The new Silico

and right nowwatching the

Remini: Scient And The Afterm

documentary

pretty insane

Last thing you do before bed?

My family and I share a bed – inc

dogs – so I read bedtime stories i

English Then I read scripts, book

– although [the news] is usually d

Last film that made you cry?

The short film they show before

Incredibles 2 , called Bao You can a

count on Pixar to squeeze those t

Song that gets you dancing?

Wild Thoughtsby DJ Khaled, featu

Rihanna It’s such anold track, but everytime I hear it it’s

like,“Mom’sdancing!

MY

what’s keeping her

entertained this month

n your bedside table?

Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential:

es In The Culinary Underbelly

starstruck?

favourite bands rcels, and I got

m live in Cannes aven They’re alented boys

u can’t live without?

y Simone I travel with it and

at because you can just do our exercising [via it]

o takeaway dish?

n, every time

favourite is ken tikka masala

nstagram follow?

ging coach I just found for aughter He’s called Luke

er, and he’s fabulous

per on your phone? My kids

cast you listened to? I don’t

n to them – I’m very visual

What’s on your workout playlist?

I love NoMBe [left],

a band called Tora and

a guy called Roosevelt

your scent say about you?

soft, sexy and out being too

ng, and my compasses hings [Milla

[It’s]

cluding the

n Russian and

ks or the newsdepressing

alwaystears out

uring

!”

s h

Go-to

India

My fchick

Last I

A sing

my daMetzle

is the face ofWoman EDT

as lip liners, thanks totheir precise angles.Potential TurnerPrize-winners,

D R Y M O U T H WA S H

Swish To Go’s new mouthwash foams from your own saliva and feels like choking

on baking soda You also have to swallow

it, which defies many

a personal oral hygiene rule

W O O L LY B A L L S

In another edition

of “overpriced tat you will never, ever need”, we present thewoollen yoga ball

Retailing at £170,**

you’d be better offsetting a stack oft

f

D O U G H N U T H Y B R I D S

Why must our sugary favourite be routinely massacred

by bakeries the world over? The latest unorthodox combination being the “donug” (a savoury, chicken-nugget mash-up)

witches not your

thing? Think again

Downton’s Matthew

Goode plays a sultry

vamp in this drama

from Sky A new

addiction to get your

teeth into.*

Z E B R A M A N I A

The often (wrongly) overlooked younger sister of leopard print

is out in full force, thanks to the return

of ’80s glam We

are so keen As are

Cavalli and Michael Halpern

H O L- E B AY

Transfer Travel lets you buy and sell discounted trips from people who can

no longer make their holiday – eg they’ve been dumped

Cashing in on others’

misfortunes never felt so right

I

setting a stack of tenners on fire.e

C

mf

C O M M E N T S

B Y C E L E B S

Immediately grab your phone and follow this Instagram account, which tracks the comments those famous folk leave on one another’s photos

The weekly Chrissy Teigen round-up

,

ne-y

we owHoweartweob

Back when I was living

with my parents, I

sneaked a girl into my room

for the night and we both

overslept We were woken up

by my mum bursting in and

dragging the sheets off us

We were both left starkers

and mortified, while she just

smirked and sauntered out,

bed sheets still in her arms

SUSIE, 33, MASSEUSE, BERLIN

however, prepared for the news that sex was strictly forbidden We lasted approximately four hours before eloping

to a field for an alfresco quickie.

ON A DATE AT A BOWLING ALLEY, THE GUY I WAS WITH GOT REALLY DRUNK, REALLY QUICKLY WHEN IT WAS HIS TURN TO BOWL,

HE PICKED UP THE HEAVIEST BALL AND OPTIMISTICALLY LOBBED

IT, HOPING FOR A STRIKE HIS FINGERS MUST HAVE GOT STUCK BECAUSE HIS ENTIRE BODY FOLLOWED IT DOWN THE ALLEY

AS IT HURTLED INTO THE PINS

WE BOTH GOT CHUCKED OUT –THEN I CHUCKED HIM.

WHAT A BALLS-UP

PERIOD DRAMA

I excused myself from the cream sofa in a posh hotel when I realised my period had started

On my return, my date shouted, “Look at what we’ve been sat in!” gesturing towards a red

stain on the sofa I just had to yell back, “Urgh! I expected more from this place!”

RUTH, 37, ARTIST, YORK

RUDE AWAKENING

Because sometimes life is stranger than fiction

I was on a school trip, and while

we were all illicitly drinking in the hotel grounds one night, I decided

to demonstrate my pole-dancing skills on an ornamental lamppost

I started scaling it seductively, then heard a huge crack I’d broken the base, leaving it swaying precariously in the wind And I was supposed to be supervising…

passport control, I saw a

sign forbidding photography As

I have no self-restraint, I took

a sneaky selfie A guard caught

me and made me show him

all my recent pictures Neither

of us were prepared for the

indecent slideshow that ensued

A guy came into the spa where

I work asking about treatments

Finally he leaned in and said,

“So do the massages come

with… a happy ending?” Er… no

MARIA, 2O, SPA

RECEPTIONIST, LONDON

WHILEIWASTRAVELLING IN AUSTRALIA, I COUCHSURFED

AT THE HOUSE OF A GUY I’D MET ONLINE HE SEEMED SUPER- CHILLED FROM HIS PROFILE, AND ALL HE ASKED IN RETURN WAS THAT I HELPED TAKE CARE OF HIS PETS ON ARRIVAL, I DISCOVERED THAT THOSE PETS WERE

COCKROACHES AND WORMS

I ONLY MANAGED TWO NIGHTS

IT DIDN’T HELP WHEN HE ASKED

ME TO MARRY HIM ON DAY TWO TOTAL CREEPER

THE WRITE NOTE

They say every perfume tells

a story, so it should be no surprise, then, that scents are now being poured into pens Sharpies, chubbies and click-pens are the new travel- friendly way to cart around your favourite scents A quick scribble on your pulse points

is all it takes and, unlike spray perfumes, that means none of your precious “juice” is lost into the ether (probably best not to start jabbing them in your neck in public, mind)

Try fast-selling-out Mugler Perfuming Pencils in Angel, Alien and Aura, £26 each, limited-edition Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium Click

& Go EDP, £29, or Scent Republik Scent Stiks, £4.95 each The only downside?

Your nan wearing them out while trying to write Gladys’s

Natural Spa Factory Colombian Rush Coffee Body Scrub,

£25 Coffee, sea salt

and nut oils to silken limbs, plus chocolate and cardamom to brace the senses.

Chanel Le Volume Révolution, £28

“The first 3D-printed mascara wand industrialised on

a mass scale.” No,

us neither – but it gives good lash

Clinique Dramatically Different Hydrating Jelly,

£31 If they’d put any more

gents in evitate

Big Hair Deep Conditioning Clay Mask, £20 Banana,

cocoa butter and avocado (oh, and mud) – a breakfast recipe for curls that bounce and shine.

Real Techniques Prep + Prime Set, £22.99 Don’t

have enough brushes yet? Here’s a whole set

to apply skincare and massage your face with!

L’Oréal Professionnel Flash Pro Hair Makeup in Hello Holo, from £10 This smudge-on,

wash-out holographic shimmer comes in eight shades

Shame it’s in-salon only

ancôme Advanced énifique Eye Cream, £42

ood bacteria are ace for our face; this has a bio- rment to nurse tired eyes.

Niacinamide Serum, £9

A hero ingredient for dark spots and oil control in an all-killer, no-filler £9 serum.

Christian Dior Perfumed Soap in Rose Ispahan, £35

There’s always room in our hearts for a posh soap that never seems to melt away.

Givenchy L’Interdit EDP, £31 (50ml)

Not at all like the

1957 classic – think less Gran and more bittersweet florals.

Sleek Lifeproof

Eyeliner in Up To No

Good, £4.99 It’s all

about creative liner

this season; we

suggest a lightning

bolt or two with this.

Urban Decay All Nighter Waterproof Setting Powder, £24.50

Remember foam parties?

Your make-up would’ve survived if you’d had this.

La Gé

Go yo fe

Garden Of Wisdom Niacinamide Serum, £9

Hot right

now!

It don’t matter if it’s black or white… as long as it’s pretty

When you see beauty products with this logo anywhere, you can be guaranteed they are

Cosmopolitan-beauty-team-approved.

LOVES

+ 201 8 +

Charlotte Tilbury Collagen Lip Bath, £25

in the centre bare Using

a brush, apply a creamyfuchsia to the centre of thelips, then, using a finger,

“gently tap the pink intothe deeper petrol shade tosoften the look” Pucker upand you’re good to go

Chalayan autumn/wintercatwalk show looks best

a little bit worn in Andaccording to Bell, you canuse any finish of berrylipstick, but the key is inthe application.“The bestway to achieve this is touse your finger to pat thelipstick onto the lips,” shesays To get the rock ’n’ rollmatte finish, Bell has a toptip: “Take a tissue and pull

it apart so you have twosheer pieces, then rest one

of them on top of the lips

to soak up any excess sheen

The finished result should

NUDE

DIFFICULTY 1.5/3

Kiss goodbye to your Kylie

Lip Kit: Annakiki’s A/W 18

look is proof that the bold

brown lip doesn’t have to

be matte To get the exact

grey-brown shade, Pixi’s

global director of make-up,

Amanda Bell, says you

should “choose a deep

brown lipstick and mix it

with a little dark chocolate

liquid eyeliner on the back

of your hand The pigment

in the liner will neutralise

any warm or cool

undertones in the lipstick”

Use a rounded lip brush to

apply the colour precisely

and finish off with “a touch

of oily-textured lip balm

for a vinyl finish”, says Bell

You’re glossy-posse ready

DIFFICULTY 1/3

Forget abouttouch-ups – this smudgy

lip look seen at the

The ’90s are back and this time

they’re getting lippy

Givenchy

Le Rouge Liquide

in Grenat Alpaga,

Winky Lux Creamy Dreamies Conditioning Lipstick in Au Lait, £10.47

Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in Cherries In The Snow, £7.49

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 37

Jo Taylor spent

10 years of her life

wanting a nose job –

and all her savings

getting one But

was it worth it?

It’s a warm afternoon during the summer holidays and I am standing in

the half-light of my parents’ living room My father is watching television, his profile silhouetted against the glow from the screen

It is the first time I have really looked at my father He is a handsome man: thick auburn hair, liquid brown eyes and tanned skin But, I am shocked to see for the first time, he has an… enormous nose

“You really do have a big nose, don’t you?” I say, pointing at the strong aquiline nose in front of me

He turns his head slowly towards me and smiles “Well, so do you, darling

It runs in the family.”

Up until that point I hadn’t ever given my nose much thought But that afternoon, as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, I gave it a lot For the i

PhotographsS A R A H B R O W N

a picture of my nose, pulled it up

on his computer screen and then,

as if by magic, showed me the myriad different noses I could have I could have long and elegant

I could have snub and upturned

I could even simply have the bump removed In the end we settled on something delicate, something pretty

A straight, perky and perfectly proportioned nose This wouldn’t just change my face, I reasoned

It would change my life

At this point, I know I’m supposed

to say that choosing surgery was a difficult decision, that I was deeply conflicted about renouncing the genetic configuration I’d been handed

I wasn’t I paid the further £7,199 and within four weeks I was being laughed to sleep by an anaesthetist

on a hospital bed in central London Two hours later, I awoke, bruised and groggy with morphine, but with

a nose as cute as a button

The two weeks post-op were a haze

of painkillers, bloody cotton wool and tasteless soup When the bandages were peeled back 14 days after the operation, I waited And waited i

to holding my hand in front of

my nose in conversations with new people I became completely consumed with the idea that if only I could just fix it, then maybe all the grief, anger and pain I was experiencing would subside After all, life seems so much less complicated for beautiful people The final decider happened one evening while I was out

on a date The man I was seeing, exasperated with

my constant wails, looked

me square in the eyes and snapped: “If you hate it

so much, why don’t you just fix it then?” I realised

he was right Suddenly

I could see a way out

The next thing I knew,

I was digging out the

copy of Tatler’s famous

cosmetic surgery guide

I had stashed under my bed, putting what I’d saved of my student loan

to one side and dialling my way down the list of Britain’s best nose surgeons The first had an eight-month waiting list, just for a consultation

The second: three weeks Before

I knew it, I found myself agreeing

to the £250 fee and setting a date

The weeks before the consultation felt like those restless hours trying to

first time, I realised that the hawkish

nose I saw before me did not match

the small, delicate ones I saw in the

pages of my favourite magazines

In that moment, in that bathroom,

I began to hate my face I was

10 years old

From then on, I blamed everything

on that nose The reason why my

school friends hacked into my Bebo

account and changed my name to

“sheep shagger” when I was 12? My

nose The reason no boy at school

showed any interest in me? My nose

The reason I would probably never

make it in the competitive world

of beauty journalism? Almost

certainly my nose

So, I reasoned, if the problem was

the thing in the centre of my face then

I could fix it Simple I could get some

masterful surgeon to simply chisel it

away And then I would emerge, like

the Venus de Milo, a smarter, more

confident, more employable person

Yet, despite being obsessed by the

idea of rhinoplasty since before

I could spell it, a small voice of

dissent whispered, “But wouldn’t

it be selfish to sculpt away

the Roman nose so many

generations of Taylors had

been born with? Wouldn’t

it be the height of vanity?

Wouldn’t people judge you?”

Two years later, that voice

fell silent

At 22, I was dealing with

the fallout from my parents’

difficult divorce, during

which I had become

estranged from my mother,

and barely had anything close to

a relationship with my father To

make things worse, past traumas

were starting to sprout again like

wildflowers, including being sexually

assaulted when I was 16 I needed

a distraction I found it in my nose

I became obsessed all over again

I couldn’t bear to look in the mirror,

and refused to have my picture taken

Things had become so bad that I took

“If I could fix my nose, maybe the grief would subside”

Jo’s nose before her rhinoplasty…

…and her surgeon’s “sketch”

of the new version