When the Discussion Gets Stalled or Heated

Outline  Conflict Defined  Conflict Resolution Approaches  PURRR Procedure  Responding to Conflict  Handling Impasse  Conflict as a Choice Point  Identify Compatible Interests  Handling Deception  Gender Differences

=

When the Discussion Gets

Stalled or Heated

Pe

Chapter 9

Conflict Defined

Conflict Resolution Approaches

PURRR Procedure Responding to Conflict Handling Impasse

Conflict as a Choice Point Identify Compatible Interests Handling Deception

Gender Differences

Conflict Defined

" To be in opposition

= To be contradictory

=" An open clash between two opposing groups

=" Synonyms:

¢- Discord

- Dispute

- Struggle

- Resist

: ‘= Conflict Resolution

Approaches

" Fast-Slow Approach

¢ Negotiation parties rush to reach an agreement, may have ignored important constituencies and then the agreement faces extreme difficulties in the implementation phase

=" Slow-Fast Approach

¢ Negotiations are conducted slowly to ensure that the final agreement is responsive to major constituents providing greater speed in implementation

" Slow-Slow Approach

¢ Time Is taken to consider, select and apply solutions

= Pause when formulating

judgment

= Understand what was meant by

actions or words

= Reflect on information and ask

for additional information

= Reinterpret by applying an

alternate explanation

=" Redirect conversation toward

goals

Responding to Conflict

= Maintain even disposition

" Ask clarification questions

" Delay with process not contention

= Seek advancement on less contentious issues and return to

others later

= Reposition or frame in positive, mutual-gain terms

= Frame differences as natural

= Find common ground through value linking

= Emphasize what has been accomplished

=" Encapsulate conflict issues

" Avoid petty issues

= Meet halfway

Handling Impasse

Take a break to develop strategies Define cost consequences if agreement is not reached Reconsider outcomes to be accomplished

Lower your dependence on them and increase their dependence on you

Break problem into smaller parts

If impasse is on substance, focus on process — how to proceed from here

If impasse is on process, try the shared text approach Keep power in your pocket (e.g attorney, credible reference) Keep the door open

Conflict as a Choice Point

= Explore whether conflict is a signal for

a change

= View the disagreement as a choice

point and explore options for moving

forward — what comes next?

=" Utilize framing

Identify Compatible Interests

" Focus on commonality rather than

differences

= Try to find shared goal — leading to a

cooperative strategy

andling Deception

" Levels of deception

- Benign deception — used in the service of politeness in order to avoid offense

- Strategic deception — planned deceptions whose

purpose Is to achieve some advantage through

the skillful management of information sharing

¢ Ulterior Motive deception — purpose Is to achieve some gain without divulging one’s intention

Strategic Ulterior Motive

Benign Deception

Puffery in building one’s credibility Falsely implying a relationship with a competitor Giving impression of greater knowledge

Creating impression that something Is of greater

value

Giving an impression of wealth or competence

through appearance Disclosing “private” information Omitting or downplaying less attractive aspects of eats

strategic Deception

" Agreeing to do something you may not be

able to do

" Bluffing

" Fogging or confusing an issue

= Misrepresenting by omission

=" Making additional small requests after an

agreement has been made

" Feigning the scarcity of an item

Ulterior Motive Deception

Lying Creating impression others will think poorly of them in order to gain compliance

Threatening someone with power you don’t possess Switching sides on an issue to create confusion

Suggesting you will provide something of value you don’t intend to deliver

Offering false flattery Intimidating other side with false claims Making intentional misrepresentations Pretending to be angry, insulted or annoyed to induce cooperation

=" Dysfunctional

communication

patterns may occur in

male-female

interactions

= Identify dysfunctional

patterns and seek to

break pattern

= Don't fall victim to

stereotypes

Gender Differences

Dismissive — interrupting, talking over, ignoring {men engage more frequently than women}

Exclusionary — leaving someone out of the meeting, discussion or social gathering

Undermining — going behind the back of others or using insults to discredit arguments

Retaliatory — used when other party feels threatened

Patronizing — use a condescending tone {happens

more to women}