Các mẩu chuyện tiếng anh

Jack was a young sailor. He lived in England, but he was often away with his ship. One summer he came back from a long voyage and found new neighbours near his mothers house. They had a pretty daughter, and Jack soon loved her very much. He said to her, My next voyage will begin in a few days time, Gloria. I love you, and Ill marry you when I come back. Ill think about you all the time, and Ill write to you and send you a present from every port. Jacks first port was Freetown in Africa, and he sent Gloria a parrot from there. It spoke five languages. When Jacks ship reached Australia, there was a letter from Gloria. It said: Thank you for the parrot, Jack. It tasted much better than a chicken.

Unit 1.

Jack was a young sailor He lived in England, but he was often away with his ship

One summer he came back from a long voyage and found new neighbours near his mother's house They had a pretty daughter, and Jack soon loved her very much

He said to her, "My next voyage will begin in a few day's time, Gloria I love you, and I'll marry you when I come back I'll think about you all the time, and I'll write to you and send you a present from every port".Jack's first port was Freetown in Africa, and he sent Gloria a parrot from there It spoke five languages

When Jack's ship reached Australia, there was a letter from Gloria It said: "Thank you for the parrot, Jack It tasted much better than a chicken"

Unit 2

Fanny and Ethel worked in the same office, and they were neighbours at home Fanny was rather a careless girl, and she often lost things Then she usually went to Ethel to borrow more from her

Ethel was a kind girl, but she sometimes got tired of lending things to her friend

One Saturday afternoon Fanny knocked at Ethel's front door, and when Ethel came to open it, Fanny said to her, "Oh, hello, Ethel Please lend me a bag I've lost my mine I'm going to the shops, and I fell very stupid when I haven't got anything in my hand when I go to the street"

Ethel laughed and answered: "Well, Fanny, go down to the end of the garden You'll find a nice wheelbarrow

in the shed there Take when you go down to the shops Then you'll have something in both of your hands"

Dave put the shirt on, and then he said, "Look at the sleeves, Beryl They're too long"

"That's all right," Beryl answered "They'll get shorter when I wash the shirt"

Then Dave said, "But the neck's too small"

"That's all right," Beryl answered "It'll get bigger when you wear the shirt, Dave"

"Oh" Mrs Williams answered, "And does it dry them and put them in the cupboard too?"

Mrs Briggs was surprised, "Well" she answered, "The things in the machine are dry after an hour, but it doesn't put them away of course"

"I've had a dishwasher for twelve and a half years," Mrs Williams said

"Oh" Mrs Briggs answered "And does yours put the things in the cupboard when it has washed them?" She laughed nastily

"Yes, he does," Mrs Williams answered, "He dries the dishes and puts them away"

Unit 5

One day a man went to see his doctor and said to him, "I've swallowed a horse, Doctor, and I feel very ill".The doctor thought for a few seconds and then said, "All right, Mr Lloyd, I'll help you Please lie down on this bed"

The doctor's nurse gave the man an injection, the man went to sleep, and the doctor went out quickly to look for a horse in the town

After half an hour he found one, borrowed it and took it into his office, so when Mr Lloyd woke up, it was there in front of him

"Here's the horse, Mr Lloyd," the doctor said "I've taken it out of your stomach, and it won't give you any more trouble now"

At first Mr Lloyd was happy, but then he looked at the horse again and said, "But, Doctor, my horse was white, and this one's brown!"

Unit 6.

A history teacher was talking to his class about the ancient Romans

"They were very strong, brave people, and they were good soldiers", he said "They always wanted to have strong bodies, so they played a lot of games"

"Did they like swimming?" one of the girls asked "That makes people's bodies strong" She was very good at swimming

"Oh, yes, some of them swam a lot", the teacher answered Then he told them a story about one famous Roman

"There was a big, wide river in the middle of Rome", he said "It was the Tiber, and this man swam across it three times every day before breakfast"

The girl laughed when she heard this

"Why are you laughing?" The teacher asked her angrily "Have I said anything funny?"

"Well, sir," the girl answered "Why didn't he swim across the river four times, to get back to his clothes again?"

Unit 7

Betty Brown was five years old, and her mother wanted her to begin going to school, because she wanted to start working in an office again

A month before the beginning of the school year Mrs Brown began telling Betty about school "It's very nice,

"she said "You'll play games and paint pictures and sing songs"

Mrs Brown began doing these things with Betty Betty liked the games and the painting and the singing very much, but she always wanted to be near mother, so Mrs Brown was rather afraid and thought, "What will she

do when I leave her at school?"

But on the first day at school Betty was very good She did not cry, and she was happy

On the second morning Mrs Brown said, "Put your clothes on, Betty I'm going to take you to school in half

an hour's time"

"School?" Betty said "But I've been to school!"

Unit 8

One morning Mrs Perry said to her husband, "Jack, there's a meeting of our ladies' club at Mrs Young's house

at lunch time today, and I want to go to it I'll leave you some food for your lunch Is that all right?"

"Oh, yes", her husband answered, "That's quite all right What are you going to leave for my lunch?"

"This tin of fish," Mrs Perry said "And there are some cold, boiled potatoes and some beans here, too"

"Good," Mr Perry answered "I have a good lunch"

So Mrs Perry went to her meeting All the ladies had lunch at Mrs Young's house, and at three o'clock Mrs Perry came home

"Was you fish nice, Jack?" she asked

"Yes, but my feet are hurting," he answered

"Why are you hurting?" Mrs Perry asked

"Well, the words on the tin were, "Open tin and stand in hot water for five minutes"

Unit 9

Miss Green was very fat She weighed 100 kilos, and she was getting heavier every month, so she went to see her doctor

He said, "You need a diet, Miss Green, and I've got a good one here" He gave her a small book and said,

"Read this carefully and eat the things on page 11 every day Then come back and see me in two weeks' time".Miss Green came again two weeks later, but she wasn't thinner: she was fatter The doctor was surprised and said, "Are you eating the things on page 11 of the small book?"

"Yes, Doctor," she answered The next day the doctor visited Miss Green during her dinner She was very surprised to see him

"Miss Green," he said, "Why are you eating potatoes and bread? They aren't in your diet"

"But, doctor," Miss Green answered, "I ate my diet at lunch time This is my dinner"

Unit 10

Rose left school when she was seventeen years old and went to a college for a year to learn to type She passed her examinations quite well and then went to look for work She was still living with her parents

A lot of people were looking for typists at that time, so it was not difficult to find interesting work Rose went

to several offices, and then chose one of them It was near her parents' house She thought, "I'll walk there every morning I won't need to go by bus"

She went to the office again and said to the manager, "I want to work here, but what will you pay me?"

"We'll pay you 27 pounds now" the manager answered, "and 30 pounds after three months"

Rose thought for a few seconds before she answered Then she said, "All right, then I'll start in three months' time"

He studied very hard for a month, and then his holidays began and he went to Greece"

When he came back a few weeks after, his friend said to him, "Did you have any trouble with your Greek when you were in Athens, Day?"

"No, I didn't have any trouble with it", answered Mr Day, "But the Greeks did!"

Unit 12

Mr Pearce liked shooting ducks very much Whenever he had a free day, he went out shooting with his friends

But one summer he said to himself, "I've never been to the mountains My holidays are going to begin soon,

so I'm going to go to the mountains and shoot deer They're more interesting than ducks, I think"

So when his holidays began, Mr Pearce went to the station, bought his ticket and was soon in the mountains

He got out at a small station and walked through fields and forests for a few kilometres Then he saw a farmer

in a field

"Good morning", Mr Pearce said to him "Are there any deer here?"

"Well", answered the farmer slowly, there was one last year, but all the gentlemen from the town came and shoot at it, and it's gone somewhere else now, I think"

So Mr Leonard went to the Tower Hotel in Whitesea But there was a different manager that year

The new manager took Mr Leonard to his room The room looked quite nice and clean, but Mr Leonard said

to the manager, "Are the sheets on the bed clean?"

"Yes, of course they are!" he answered angrily "We washed them this morning Feel them They're still damp"

Unit 14

Two years after Tom and Elizabeth married, they went to live in a small flat in a big city They were both quite young: Tom was twenty-six and Elizabeth was twenty-two Tom worked in a bank, and Elizabeth worked in a big office

Elizabeth always cooked the dinner when they got home, and when they had meat, Tom always cut it up when they sat down to eat

While Tom was cutting the meat up one evening, Elizabeth said to him, "When we were first married, Tom, you always gave me the bigger piece of meat when you cut it, and you kept the smaller one for yourself Now you do the opposite: you give me the smaller piece and keep the bigger one for yourself Why do you do that? Don't you love me any more?"

Her husband laughed and answered, "Oh, no, Elizabeth It isn't that! It's because you've learned to cook now!"

Unit 15

Mrs Jenkins went to see her doctor one day, because her heart was giving her trouble

The doctor listened to her heart carefully and did a few other things Then he said, "Well, Mrs Jenkins, stop smoking, and then you'll soon all be quite right again".

"But Doctor," answered Mrs Jenkins quickly, "I've never smoked I don't like smoking"

"Oh, well," said the doctor, "then don't drink any more alcohol"

"But I don't drink alcohol", answered Mrs Jenkins at once

"Stop drinking tea and coffee then", the doctor said to her

"I only drink water," answered Mrs Jenkins "I don't like tea or coffee"

The doctor thought for a few seconds and then said, "Well er do you like fried potatoes?"

"Yes, I like them very much," answered Mrs Jenkins

"All right, then stop eating those", said the doctor as he got out to say goodbye to Mrs Jenkins

Unit 16

John liked chocolates very much, but his mother never gave him any, because they were bad for his teeth, she thought But John had a very nice grandfather The old man loved his grandson very much, and sometimes he brought John chocolates when he came to visit him Then his mother, let him eat them, because she wanted to make the old man happy

One evening, a few days before John's seventh birthday, he was saying his prayers in his bedroom before he went to bed "Please, God", he shouted, "make them give me a big box of chocolates for my birthday one Saturday"

His mother was in the kitchen, but she heard the small boy shouting and went into his bedroom quickly

"Why are you shouting, John?" she asked her son "God can hear you when you talk quietly"

"I know," answered the clever boy with a smile, "but Grandfather's in the next room, and he can't"

Unit 17

It was Jimmy's birthday, and he was five years old He got quite a lot of nice birthday presents from his family, and one of them was a beautiful big drum

"Who gave him that thing?" Jimmy's farther said when he saw it

"His grandfather did," answered Jimmy's mother

"Oh," said his father

Of course, Jimmy liked his drum very much He made a terrible noise with it, but his mother did not mind His father was working during the day, and Jimy was in bed when he got home in the evening, so he did not hear the noise

But one of the neighbours did not like the noise at all, so one morning a few day later, she took a sharp knife and went to Jimmy's house while he was hitting his drum She said to him, "Hullo, Jimmy Do you know, there's something very nice inside your drum Here's a knife Open the drum and let's find it"

Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"

"Yes, Father, it is " answered Tom

"And that shirt's mine too, isn't it?" his father continued

"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom

"And you're wearing my belt!" Said Mr Howard

"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"

Unit 19

Mr Yates was nearly ninety, so it was often difficult for him to remember things, but he still liked travelling very much, so he and his wife went to Spain every year One summer when they were there, they went to visit some friends These people had two young daughters

One afternoon Mr Yates was talking to one of the girls in the garden after lunch "You and your sister were ill when my wife and I were here last year, weren't you?" He said to her

"Yes, we were", answered the girl, "We were very ill"

The old man said nothing for a minute, because he was thinking Then at last he said, "Oh, yes, I remember now! One of you died Which one of you was it, you or your sister?"

The girl answered, "It was me".

"Oh? I'm very sorry to hear it," said the old man

Unit 20

Mr Knott was a teacher He taught in a big school in London He lived a long way from the school, so he was usually quite tired when he got home At nine o'clock one evening, when he was in bed, the telephone bell rang in the hall of his small house, so he went downstairs, picked up the telephone and said, "This is

Whitebridge 3165 Who's speaking, please?"

"Watt," a man answered

"What's your name, please?" said Mr Knott

"Watt's my name," was the answer

"Yes, I asked you that What's your name?" Mr Knott said again

"I told you Watt's my name" said the other man "Are you Jack Smith?"

"No, I'm Knott," answered Mr Knott

"Will you give me your name, please?" said Mr Watt

"Will Knott, answered Mr Knott

Both Mr Watt and Mr Knott put their telephone down angrily and thought, "That was a rude, stupid man!"

Unit 21

Carol Roberts left school when she was seventeen and then thought, "What's going to happen now? I want to marry a nice, young man and have children, but no nice, young men have asked me yet Will I meet one soon, and will he want to marry me?"

She spoke to her best friend about these questions, and her best friend said, "Go and ask a

fortune-teller Perhaps she'll give you the answers"

So Carol went to see a fortune-teller The fortune-teller said to her, "I'll give you answers to two questions It'll cost you five pounds"

Carol was surprised She thought for some time, but at last she paid the money Then she said to the teller, "Isn't that very expensive for only two questions?"

fortune-"Yes, it is," answered the fortune-teller "And now what's your second question?"

Unit 22

Jack had a small, red car and he liked driving it very fast This was all right when he was out in the country, but in towns and big villages driving fast is dangerous, so there is always a speed limit In Jack's country it was fifty kilometers an hour Jack often drove faster than that through towns

One day Jack was driving his small, red car through a town when a very young policeman stopped him and said, "you were driving at more than fifty kilometers an hour, sir Please give me your name and address".Jack looked at the young policeman carefully for a few seconds and then said to him, "But I started my

journey less than an hour ago!"

The policeman was new to this work and did not know the answer to Jack's excuse He thought for a few seconds and then let Jack go

Unit 23

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen She gave him

a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman"

"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked "How do gentleman do it?"

"They always give the bigger piece to the other person," answered his aunt at once

"Oh", said Dick He thought about this for a few seconds Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,

"Cut this cake in half, Catherine"

Unit 24

A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard They did not have their umbrellas with them, and there was nowhere to hide from the rain, so they were soon very wet, and the small boy did not feel very happy

For a long time while they were walking home through the rain, the boy was thinking Then at last he turned

to his father and said to him, "Why does rain, Father? It isn't very nice, is it?"

"No, it isn't very nice, but it's very useful, Tom," answered his father "It rains to make the fruit and the

vegetables grow for us, and to make the grass grow for the cows and sheep"

Tom thought about this for a few seconds, and then he said, "Then, why does it rain on the road too, Father?"

Again the barman was too busy to say anything, so he gave the man his drink and went away The man drank that too, and then again he called the barman and said to him, "One more drink before the trouble starts, please"

This time the barman was not very busy, so when he brought the man his third drink, he said to him, "What trouble are you talking about?"

The man answered, "I haven't got any money"

"Oh, No, I don't want to send him away," answered her husband with a smile "You see, whenever I wake him

up, he asks for his bill, and when I bring it to him he pays it Then he goes to sleep again"

Unit 27

Two friends were camping together Their names were Jim and Tim Tim was very lazy The first evening of their holiday, Jim said to Tim, "Here's some money, Go and buy some meat"

"I'm too tired," answered Tim "You go" So Jim went to buy the meat

When he came back, he said to Tim, "Now, here's the meat Please cook it " But Tim answered, "No I'm not good at cooking You do it " So Jim cooked the meat

Then Jim said to Tim, "Cut the bread," but Tim answered, "I don't want to," so Jim cut the bread

Then he said to Tim, "Go and get some water, please"

"No, I don't want to get my clothes dirty," Tim answered, so Jim got the water

At last Jim said, "The meal's ready Come and eat it"

"Well, I'll do that," answered Tim "I don't like saying "No" all the time"

Unit 28

One morning a man was crossing a narrow bridge when he saw a fisherman on the shady bank of the deep, smooth river under him, so he stopped to watch him quietly

After a few minutes, the fisherman pulled his line in There was a big, fat fish at the end of it

The fisherman took it off the hook and threw it back into the water Then he put his hook and line in

again After a few more minutes he caught another big fish Again he threw it back into the river Then, the third time, he caught a small fish He put it into his basket and started to get ready to go The man on the bridge was very surprised, so he spoke to the fisherman He said, "Why did you throw those beautiful, big fish back into the water, and keep only that small one?"

The fisherman looked up and answered, "Small frying pan"

The Englishman was very surprised when he heard this "Oh, yes, it is," he said, "but the sun too hot for people to go to".

The Irishman laughed and answered, "Well, the Irish aren't stupid, you know We won't go to the sun during the day, of course We'll go there by during the night"

Unit 30

Dave's class at school were studying English history, and one day their teacher said to them, "Well, boys, on Friday we're all going to get on a bus and go to Conway There's a beautiful castle there, and we're going to visit it" The boys were very happy when they heard this

"Now, has anybody got any questions?" the teacher asked

"How old is the castle, sir?" Dave asked

"It's about seven hundred years old, Dave," The teacher answered

"What's the name of the castle, sir?" another boy asked

"Conway Castle," the teacher said

On Friday the boys came to school at 9 o'clock and got into the bus They visited Conway Castle, and then they came back and went home

"Well, Dave's mother said to him when he got home, "Did you like the castle, Dave?"

"Not very much," Dave answered "The stupid people built it too near the railway"

Unit 31

Two Mexicans has accused each other of cheating, and both of them were getting angrier and angrier

"I'll kill you" shouted Jose

Miguel laughed rudely and answered, "You could never kill me but I could kill you!"

"Just try!" Jose shouted back "Well fight a duel in the park at five o'clock tomorrow morning"

"No, not in the park" Miguel answered "The police might see or hear us there Let's go out to a quiet place in the country"

"All right," said Jose, "I accept Let's go to San Antonio by the first train tomorrow morning That's where I usually fight my duels"

"I do too," answered Miguel

The next morning they went to the railway station together, and Jose bought a return ticket, but Miguel bought

a single one

"Ho, ho" said Jose "So you don't expect to return? I always get a return ticket"

"I never do," answered Miguel calmly "I always use my opponent's other half"

There was a small boy in front of her When it was his turn, he offered the girl ten pence and asked for an cream, but they cost twenty pence, so the girl said, "I want another ten pence, please"

ice-The small boy put the coin back in his pocket, puts his hand in another pocket, took out another ten pence coin and offered that to the girl

Mrs Evans so amused that she paid the other ten pence herself

The next day he received a note from the manager in answer to his It said, "All right, you have permission to

do as you suggest, but you must make copies of all letters before destroying them"

He found out the number of Jim's room from the clerk at the desk downstairs and went up to find him When

he got to the room, he saw Jim's shoes outside the door, waiting to be cleaned

"Well, he must be in," he thought, and knocked at the door

There was no answer

He knocked again Then he said, "I know you're in, Jim Your shoes are out here"

"I went out in my slippers," answered a voice from inside the room

Unit 35

Timothy was ten years old He was not a very good pupil, and he did not like having to do homework, because

he preferred to do other things in his free time Frequently he did not do his homework, and when he did it, he always made a lot of mistakes

Then one day, his mathematics teacher looked at Timothy's homework and saw that he had got all his sums right He was very pleased and rather surprised He called Timothy to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Timothy What happened? Did your father help you?"

Usually Timothy's father did help him with his homework, but the evening before this, he had not been able

to, because he had not been at home, so Timothy answered, "No, sir He was busy last night, so I had to do it all myself"

Unit 36

Two sailors who had just finished a long voyage went home to their village and decided to have a few drinks

in the bar there When they had had enough, they came out into the street to look for something amusing to

do But it was a very quiet place, and nothing interesting ever happened there, so they could not find anything.But at last, while they were standing in the market-place outside the bar, they saw a village boy coming slowly towards them He was lending a donkey by a rope, so the sailors decided that they would have a joke with him

"Hullo, one of the sailors said to the boy "Why does your brother have to have a rope round his neck when he goes for a walk with you?"

"To stop him joining the navy," the boy answered at once

Unit 37

There was once a large, fat woman who had a small, thin husband He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening As soon as he got home on Fridays, his wife used to make him give her all his money, and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day

One day the small man came home very excited He hurried into the living-room His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates there

"You'll never guess what happened to me today, dear," he said

He waited for a few seconds and then added, "I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!"

"That's wonderful" said his wife delightedly But then she thought for a few seconds and added angrily, "But wait a moment! How could you afford to buy the ticket?"

Unit 38

Bill Jenkins worked in a big office in the city, and generally he used to go to the barber's during working hours

to have his hair cut, although this was against the rule: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time.While Bill was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut Bill saw him and tried to hide his face, but the manager came and sat beside him, so he soon recognized him

"Hullo Jenkins," the manager said "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time"

Yes, sir, I am," admitted Bill calmly "You see, sir, it grows in office time"

"Not all of it," said the manager of the office at once "Some of it grows in your own time"

"Yes, sir, that's quite true, answered Bill politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off"

Unit 39.

A clerk who worked very hard and was usually very punctual arrived at his office very late one morning He had bruises on his face, a scratch on one of his lips, sticking-plaster on his left wrist and thumb, and a bandage

on his right shoulder He had also hurt his knees, ankles and some of his toes

The manager of the office was not a patient man, and he had been waiting for the clerk, because he had some work to give him When he saw him come in at last, he said angrily, "You're an hour late, Tomkins!"

"I know, sir," answered the clerk politely "I'm very sorry My flat is on the eighth floor, and just before I left home this morning, while I was closing one of the windows, I slipped and fell out"

"Well," the manager answered coldly, "did that take you an hour?"

But at three o'clock the next morning, Miss Grey was woken up by the barking of a dog

She thought, "I've never heard a dog here before It must belong to the new man in the flat above " So she telephoned the young man, said some nasty things to him about the dog and then hung the telephone up before

During one of these visits, the doctor gave Billy various tests and then said to him, "Have you had any trouble with your nose or ears recently?"

Billy thought for a second and then answered, "Yes, I have"

Mrs Robinson was very worried "But I'm sure you've never told me that, Billy" She said anxiously

"Oh, really? " said the doctor seriously, "And what trouble have you had with your nose and ears, my boy?"

"Well," answered Billy, "I always have trouble with them when I'm taking my jersey of, because the neck is very tight"

Unit 43

Some friends hired a bus to go to the seaside for the day When they returned to the bus late at night to go home, someone was lying on the ground beside it They looked at him and discovered that he was a man from their town whom they were sure had not come on their bus He was very drunk

"I suppose he came in another bus," one of the men said, "and missed it when it left for home because he was drunk Now he's come to our bus to go back in that"

Two men put him into the bus He did not wake up during the drive back, and when the bus arrived, they took him to his home, still very drunk

They knocked at the door for several minutes, and then a neighbour opened a window and said, "It's no use knocking there They've gone to the seaside for two weeks"

Unit 44

A man met a friend in the street and asked him to lend him five pounds The friend did so willingly

A week later they met again, "You've lent me 5 pounds, lend me another 5 pounds, and then I'll owe you 10 pounds, " the friend said The man did so.

A few days later they met again, and the friend said, "You lent me 10 pounds Lend me another 10 pounds, and then I'll owe you 20 pounds " The man did this, although he was rather doubtful about doing it

Two weeks later the friend asked for more money " He said "You've already lent me 20 pounds Can you make it 50 pounds?

The man did not answer for a few seconds, but he was unable to refuse

A month later, the men met again "You've lent me 50 pounds " began the friend

"Who? Me?" answered the man anxiously "I disagree! I've never lent you any money!"

Unit 45

A man was driving along a road in his motor-car when a policeman on a motor-cycle stopped him and

said "You're only allowed to do eighty along this road"

The man had to go to court, and there he told the judge that he was not driving at more than eighty kilometres

an hour, and that he never drove at more than sixty-five

The man's wife had been in the car too, when the policeman had stopped it, and she said to the judge, "My husband was driving at only fifty kilometres an hour when the policeman stopped him"

Her sister, Ann, had been in the car too, and she said to the judge, "We were hardly moving at all when the policeman came up behind us"

By the time, the judge had had quite enough "Stop now, " he said, "or you will finish by hitting something behind your car"

Unit 46

A potato farmer was sent to prison just at the time when he should have been digging the ground for planting the new crop of potatoes He knew that his wife would not be strong enough to do the digging by herself, but that she could manage to do the planting; and he also knew that he did not have any friends or neighbours who would be willing to do the digging for him So he wrote a letter to his wife which said, "Please do not dig the potato field I hid the money and the gun there"

Ten days later he got a letter from his wife It said, "I think somebody is reading your letters before they go out of the prison Some policemen arrived here two days ago and dug up the whole potato field What shall I

Joe stopped and watched the man for a few minutes He saw that most of people who passed by him believed

he must be rather mad

Joe pitied the man, so after a few minutes he went up to him and said kindly, "Hullo, would you like to come into the bar and have a drink with me?"

The fisherman was delighted to accept his offer, and the two men went into the bar together Joe bought the fisherman a few drinks, and finally said to him, "You've been fishing outside here, haven't you? How many did you manage to catch this morning, if I may ask?"

"You're the eighth," the fisherman answered merrily

Unit 48

Mr Robinson was driving to Oxford one cloudy day when he saw a hitch-hiker holding a sign above his head which said CAMBRIDGE Mr Robinson thought it unwise to take hitch-hikers, because he had read

frightening stories of what some of them did to drivers, but he was a kind man, so he stopped and said,

"You're going to get wet You're on the wrong road for Cambridge This road goes to Oxford"

"Yes, I know," answered the hitch-hiker gaily, as he got into Mr Robinson's car "That's where I want to go I only started to wait here a minute ago, and I knew someone would be likely to stop to tell me I was on the wrong road If I'd held up a sign with OXFORD on it, I might have had to wait for an hour for someone to stop!"

Unit 49

Mr Grey had a nice shop in the main street of a small town He sold jewellery, watches, clocks and other things like those All went well for some years, and then Mr Grey's shop was broken into at night twice in one

month, and a lot of jewellery was stolen each time The police had still not managed to catch the thief three weeks later, so Mr Grey decided that he would try to do something about it He therefore bought a camera, fixed it up to his shop so that it would photograph anyone who broke to at night, and put some very cheap jewellery in front of it for the thief.

A few nights later the thief did come again, but he did not touch any of the cheap jewellery that Mr Grey had put out for him He took the camera It was worth 150 pounds

When the older boy saw that his brother had a much larger orange than his own, he said to him, "It's selfish to take the bigger one for yourself If mother had given me the oranges, I'd have given you the bigger one"

"I know you would," answered his brother "That's why I took it"

"Because she wants my marbles," answered Billy

"Well, let her play with a few of them if it will stop her crying," said the mother patiently "I must finish this work, and she'd be in my way in here"

But she wants to keep them" answered Billy

"No, she doesn't," the mother said "She's only a baby She's too young to understand anything like that"

"But I know that she wants to keep them," answered Billy "She's already swallowed two of them!"

Unit 52

Dick was a waiter in a small restaurant One day a man came in and sat down at one of the tables Dick

greeted him and went to find out what he wanted to eat The man said he would like some chicken with potatoes and other vegetables

"Roast chicken," he added as Dick was leaving

"Very well, sir," Dick answered and disappeared into the kitchen

But the man called him back, saying, "just a moment, waiter Please try to have it cooked just right, not to little, and not too much, and with as little fat as possible

"Very well, sir," answered Dick obediently "I'll tell the cook"

Once more he began to go towards the kitchen, but again the man stopped him with the words, "Oh, and I forgot to explain that I'm fond of the leg"

"Very well, sir," answered Dick "Do you prefer the left leg or the right?"

to the students the week before David picked the paper up and read it through

When the professor came back, David said to him "Professor, I'm certain that these are exactly the same questions that you asked us in our examinations twenty years ago! How is that possible?"

"Yes, that's right," answered the professor calmly "The questions are the same, but the answers have

changed"

Unit 54

When George finished his studies at the university, he began to look around for a job He did not know what

he would like to do, but one of his uncles had worked for the government for thirty years, and he advised

George to try to get a job of the same kind, so he went for an examination one day He was successful, and his first job was in a large government office in London.

When George had been working there for a few weeks his uncle came to visit the family one Saturday

evening He was delighted that his nephew had managed to get a job working for the government, and he asked him a lot of questions about it

One of the questions he asked was, "And how many people work in your department, George?"

The young man thought for a few moments and then answered, "About half of them, Uncle Jim"

A very new young officer was at a railway station He was on his way to visit his mother in another town, and

he wanted to telephone her to tell her the time of his train, so that she could meet him at the station in her car He looked in all his pockets, but found that he did not have the right money for the telephone, so he went outside and looked around for someone to help him

At last an old soldier came by, and the young officer stopped him and said, "Have you got change for ten pence?"

"Wait a moment," the old soldier answered, beginning to put his hand to his pocket "I'll see whether I can help you"

"Don't you know how to speak to an officer? " The young man said angrily "Now let's start again Have you got change for ten pence?"

"No, sir," the old soldier answered quickly"

Unit 57

An old porter had been working for the railway for a very long time He was standing in one of the big railway stations in London one morning, waiting for travellers to ask him to help them with their luggage, when he saw a small man running towards the trains, carrying a bag

The porter watched the man for a few seconds, and then the man saw the porter At once he ran up to him and said, "Can I catch the 10.35 train to Newcastle-on-Tyne, porter? " He was breathing very fast, and he sounded worried

The old porter looked at him for a moment and then said politely, "Well, sir, I'd like to help you, but I can't answer your question, because I don't know how fast you can run along rails You see, he explained, "the 10.35 train to Newcastle-on-Tyne left, five minutes ago"

Unit 58

A young man hurried into his town library He went up to one of the old librarians and said to her eagerly, "Do you remember that you persuaded me to borrow a book about Greek history a week ago?"

"Yes, that's right," answered the librarian

"Do you remember the name of the book? " the young man asked

The librarian felt very proud, because she was always trying to get young people to take out books about Greek history, and she rarely found one who was willing to accept her suggestions

"Yes," she answered, "Do you want to take it out again? Did you think that it was an interesting?"

"No, of course not," said the young man, "but when I was taking it home, I met a girl on the bus, and I wrote her telephone number in the book I want to telephone her, so please may I look at the book again?"

"I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that's going on behind us, sir," the soldier answered.

"Do you know who I am? " the officer said to him angrily "I'm your commanding officer"

The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said, "My God, I didn't realize that I was so far back already!"

The young lady looked worried for a few moments and said, "I don't think I've brought any proof with me,

"but then she suddenly looked happy again She opened her bag, took a photograph of herself out of it and showed it to the clerk "Here's something," she said

The clerk looked at the photograph carefully and then looked at the young lady "Yes, that's you," he said, and paid the money to her without any more trouble

Unit 61

Some villagers were going to celebrate an important wine festival in a few day's time, so they borrowed a huge barrel from the nearest town, put it in the village square, and determined that each of them should empty

a bottle of the best wine he had into it, so that there should be plenty at the feast

One of the villagers thought he would be very clever "If I pour a bottle of water in, instead of wine, no one will notice it," he said to himself, "because there will be so much excellent wine in the barrel that the water will be lost in it"

The night of the feast arrived Everybody gathered in the village square with their jugs and their glasses for the wine The tap on the barrel was opened, but what came out was pure water Everyone in the village had had the same idea

Unit 62

Can you think of sentence in which the word "and" appears five times, without any words in between? There

is one at the end of this story

There was once an inn which was called "The horse and Cart" It had the sign outside it which had a picture of

a horse and cart on it, but the sign was getting very old, so the owner of the inn decided to have a new one made He went to a painter and asked him to paint one, and to write "The Horse and Cart" on it in large letters

A few days later, he went to see how painter was getting on He liked the picture of the horse and cart very much, but he did not like the writing at all He said to the painter, "No, no! There's too much space between HORSE and AND and AND and CART!"

Unit 63

A young man was called up for army service and had to go to be medically examined The doctor was sitting

at the desk when he went in He said to the man, "take your coat and shirt off, loosen your belt and sit on that chair"

The young man did so The doctor looked at him for a moment without getting up from his chair and then said, "All right Put your clothes on again"

"But you haven't examined me at all! " The young man said in a trouble voice

"It isn't necessary," the doctor said gently "When I told you to take your coat and shirt off, you hear me all right, so you aren't deaf You saw the chair I pointed to, so your eyesight's good enough for the army You managed to take your clothes off and to sit on the chair, so your body must be healthy, and you understood what I told you to do and did it without a mistake, so you must possess enough intelligence for the army"

Some weeks later the case was heard, and the man won it As he was leaving the court, he said to his lawyer,

"My present to the judge was quite successful, wasn't it?"

The lawyer was even more shocked than before, and said "What? Did you really send him that wine after what

"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"

"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that"

His friend was surprised "Oh? " He said "And what do you consider important decisions then?"

"Well," answered the man "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that"

Unit 66

John was the only son of a wealthy American businessman Usually he was taken to school by the chauffeur in his father's beautiful car, before the chauffeur took John's father to his office One evening his father told him that he had to go to the airport early the next day, so he would need the car at the time that John had to go to school He said that John's mother, who possessed another car, would still be in bed at the time he had to leave the house

"Well, how will I get to school if you need your car and Mummy is still in bed?" John asked His father thought this was a good opportunity to teach him a lesson about how hard life was for the less fortunate people

of the world, so he answered, "You'll go in the same way as every other child in the world goes, in a taxi"

But one foggy morning, the first man to arrive late wrote "My wife had a baby early this morning" instead of

"Delayed by fog" under the red line in the book Twenty or thirty people who came after him put "ditto" underneath as usual

Unit 68

A policeman returned to his police station one evening and reported to the sergeant that he had found an old car with no number plates

"Where was it?" Asked the sergeant

"In Ecclesiastes Street, beyond the bridge," answered the policeman

The sergeant opened the report book and began to write When he reached the name of the street, he began to spell aloud: "E-c-I" He looked at this for a few seconds, then crossed it out and wrote "E-c-k" Then he became annoyed, decided that he was already too busy with other jobs, and said to the policeman, "Write the report yourself"

The policeman had a try too, but after a minute, he put his helmet on and began to go out slowly

"Where are you going?" The sergeant asked

"Back to Ecclesiastes Street," answered the policeman "I'm going to push the car round the corner into Green Street"

Unit 69

The leader of a band was finding it extremely difficult to prepare for an important performance, because the members of the band were never all present at any one of the rehearsals Then the last rehearsals before the show came, and again some of the members were not there At the end of the rehearsals, the leader said to all the members of the band who were present, "I have been making a note of those who have been absent from our various rehearsals Here it is" He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and looked at it "I see that the only man who has been hardworking and faithful enough to be present every time is the drummer"

The drummer went very red, stood up and answered, "Well, I thought it was the only right thing to do, as I won't be able to come to the show tomorrow".

Unit 70

A man was tired of living in his old house in the country and wanted to sell it and buy a better one He

attempted to sell it for a long time, but was not successful, so at last he decided to solve the problem by using

an estate agent

The agent promptly advertised the house, and a few days later, the owner saw a very attractive photograph of

it, with a wonderful description of its gardens, in an expensive magazine

After the house owner had read the advertisement through, he hastened to telephone the estate agent and said

to him "I'm sorry, Mr.Jones, but I've decided not to sell my house after all After reading your advertisement

in that magazine, I can see that it's just the kind of house I've wanted to live in all my life"

Unit 71

Jean was a very beautiful young girl, so she was quite used to some men showing their admiration for her, and

to others being confused and shy when they saw her

One summer, when Jean was travelling abroad, she went into a cafe in a small town, sat down and waited to

be served

The young waiter was talking to someone at the bar when she came in, and at first he did not pay any attention

to her, because he had not looked at her properly Then he turned round and saw how beautiful she was His face went bright red, and he hurried over to take her order

"I'd like coffee without cream, please," Jean said

The waiter hurried out, and came back a few minutes later without the coffee

"I'm very sorry," he said, "but we haven't got any cream Would you like your coffee without milk?"

"That's not very much," answered Susan "I know a baby that gains five kilograms a day"

"Oh, that can't be true! " Answered Carol scornfully, "Whose baby is it?"

"An elephant's" said Susan

Unit 74

George was a quiet, serious young man He had been studying particularly hard one year, and when he passed his examinations, his friend Jim went to give him his congratulations and then had an earnest conversation with him

"You've never been to a dance, George" he said "It's boring always studying and never enjoying

oneself Come out with me this evening"

Perhaps you're right, Jim," replied George after a moment's hesitation

So they went to a dance and had an enjoyable time But George drank more than he was used to, and by midnight Jim had become worried about him, so he said, "Now we'll walk home in the cool air"

On their way home, they came to a bridge, and George looked down at the river below attentively The stars were reflected in its smooth surface.

"What are those lights down there?" George inquired

"They're the stars, George," Jim replied

"The stars?" George said "Well, then, how did I get up here?"

Unit 75

One year Miss Wyatt decided to have a holiday in Italy She did not speak much Italian, but wherever she went, she was fortunate enough to find people who knew enough English to be able to understand what she wanted, until one day she decided to have lunch in a charming little restaurant in a village in the south of Italy.She had seen some nice mushrooms in the market of another village near there and thought they would taste very good, so when the waiter came to take her order for lunch, she inquired whether she could have some mushrooms for her meal, but she had great difficulty in explaining to him, because she did not know the Italian word for mushrooms

At last she took out a pencil and drew a picture of a mushrooms The waiter's face brightened at once, and he hastened out to the kitchen A minute later he returned, carrying an umbrella

Unit 76

Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful, modern bicycle which cost 54.99 pounds, so he went to the shop which had put the advertisement in and asked to see one of their wonderful bicycles

The shopkeeper was very happy to show one to Tom, who examined it carefully and then turned to the

shopkeeper, saying, "There isn't a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicycle in your

advertisement"

"Yes, sir," answered the shopkeeper, "but the lamp isn't included in the price of the bicycle It's an extra"

"Not included in the price of the bicycle?" Tom said angrily "But that's not honest if the lamp's in the

advertisement, it should have been included in the price you gave here"

"Well, sir," answered the shopkeeper calmly, "there's also a girl on the bicycle in our advertisement, but we don't supply one of them with the bicycle either"

Unit 77

In the United States, gifts by a company or a person to a charity which is approved by the government, can be used to reduce the company's or the person's tax (This is, of course, to encourage people to give money to charities) One day the secretary of a world famous charity had a telephone call from a tax officer, who said,

"A certain gentleman who says that his name is Howard Vine claims to have given your society 15.000 dollars

in gifts last year I am telephoning to find out whether he did in fact do so"

"Howard Vine, did you say?" Answered the secretary of the charity cautiously "Wait a moment please I'll have a look in our records"

After half a minute, the tax officer heard the secretary voice again, "Mr.Howard Vine hasn't given us 15.000 dollars yet," the secretary said delightedly, "but he's going to now!"

Unit 78

David was a young man who worked in an office in a big city His hobby was fishing, but he did not often get

a chance to practice it

Then one summer he decided to have a holiday in a beautiful place in the mountains where there were a lot of streams "I ought to be able to have some good fishing there," he said to himself

The first morning after he arrived, he walked to the nearest stream with his fishing-rod He saw an old man standing beside the water, so he asked him whether it was a private stream The old man answered that it was not, so David then said to him, "Well, then it won't be a crime if I catch some fish here, will it?"

"Oh, no," answered the old man, "it won't be a crime, but it will certainly a miracle"

The helpful waiter, who was watching his face, thought he might be going to faint, so he quickly poured out a glass of ice-cold water and emptied it over the young man's head Then he took the bill back and added to it:

"Iced water: 50p"

Unit 80

Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him

in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year

"He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well"

"No, no, that's quite impossible! " Replied the professor immediately "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, and he didn't know!"

"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspapers in our house, so none of us even knew that Napoleon was ill"

"Oh, no sir," answered Mr.Briggs at once "Before I started work, I looked at the figures for deaths in this country during the past ten years, and I can tell you that extremely few people die at the age of 95 or above each year"

Unit 82

For a long time Dr.Jackson had wanted to get a permanent job in a certain big modern hospital, and at last he was successful He was appointed to the particular position which he wanted, and he and his wife moved to the house which they were now to live in The next day some beautiful flowers delivered to them, with a note which said, "Deepest sympathy"

Naturally, Dr.Jackson was annoyed to receive such an extraordinary note, and telephoned the shop which had sent the flowers to find out what the note meant"

When the owner of the shop heard what had happened, he apologized to Mr.Jackson for having made the mistake

"But what really worries me much more" he added, "is that the flowers which ought to have gone to you were sent to a funeral, with a card which said "Congratulations on your new position"

"All right, get in," said the driver happily, opening the door of the taxi "I'll take you, and to hell with

Churchill and his speech!"

The head waiter was very annoyed at this and immediately told one of the other waiters in the restaurant to go

to the man and inform him, without being in any way insulting, that people did not do such a thing in

restaurants of that quality

The waiter went to the farmer and said in a friendly voice, "Good morning, sir Would you like a shave, or a hair-cut?"

Unit 85

A man and his wife had arranged to have a holiday at the seaside They were waiting at the railway station for their train when the man saw a weighing-machine near the bench on which they were sitting It was one of those weighing-machines that give cards on which one's fortune is printed as well as one's weight

The man decided to weigh himself, so he went to the machine, got on it, put a penny in, and a card came out The man took it back to his wife, and she read it out to him, because he had not got his glasses

On the card was written, "You are a leader of men and have a masterly character You have greet intelligence and are attractive to women"

After she had read this out, the man's wife turned the card over, looked at the back for a moment and then remarked, "It's got your weight wrong too"

advice, and when he came to see me again two days ago, he told me that he now feels all right again"

"Yes, I know all about that," answered the patient sadly "You see, I'm that man's tailor"

One day, there was an accident in a busy street, and when Mary arrived soon after she saw a man bending over

a woman who had been accidentally knocked down by a car and was lying motionless in the street

Mary ran up pushed the man away, informed the crowd that she was a Red Cross nurse and began to help the wounded woman

After a few minutes the man who had been bending over the woman when Mary arrived touched her on the shoulder and said, "When you reach the part about sending for a doctor, don't worry I'm here already"

Unit 88

A tourist was standing outside a very big church in Germany when a wedding party got out of some car and went into the church Everybody was very well dressed, and there were a lot of photographers, so the tourist thought, "The people getting married must be famous" He turned to a man who was standing beside him and said, "What is the name of the man who is getting married?"

The man answered, "Ich spreche kein Englisch"

The tourist thanked him and went into the church As he was coming out of another door, a coffin was carried out There had been a funeral service in one of the side chapels of the church

The tourist turned to one of the people in the church and said, "Whose funeral was that?"

The man answered, "Ich spreche kein Englisch"

"Well," said the tourist, "his marriage didn't last long"

Unit 89

A priest had to take services in several churches every Sunday, and one of them was in the centre of a big city where there were lots of offices, but very few people lived, so hardly anyone ever went to this church on a Sunday The priest used to go there in a taxi, and one Sunday he arrived as usual and told the taxi driver to wait while he read the service When he entered the church, he found that there was only one man there, so he inquired whether he would be willing to have a shortened service

"No," replied the man firmly and without any hesitation "I'd like to have the full service, without omitting anything"

When the priest said the last prayer and left, he discovered that the man in the church had been his taxi driver, whose meter had been adding up the pence throughout the service

The driver who had the largest truck went to a lot of trouble to camouflage it He spent several hours painting

it, preparing a net and searching for some heavy rocks with which to hold the net down When it was all

finished, he looked proudly at his work and then went off to have his lunch

But when he came back to the truck after he had had his meal, he was surprised and worried to see that his camouflage work was completely spoilt by the truck's shadow, which was growing longer and longer as the afternoon advanced He stood looking at it, not knowing what to do about it

Soon as officer arrived and he too saw the shadow, of course

"Well," he shouted to the poor driver, "what are you going to do about it? If an enemy plane comes over, the pilot will at once know that there is a truck here"

"I know, sir," answered the soldier

"Well, don't just stand there doing nothing," said the officer

"What shall I do, sir?" Asked the poor driver

"Get your spade and throw some sand over the shadow, of course!" Answered the officer

Goldilocks And The Three Bears

Once upon a time there were three bears who lived in a house in the forest There was a great big father bear, a middle-sized mother bear and a tiny little baby bear

One morning, their breakfast porridge was too hot to eat, so they went for a walk in the forest While they were out, a little girl called Goldilocks came through the trees and found their house She knocked on the door and,

as there was no answer, she pushed it open and went in

In front of her was a table with three chairs, one great big chair, one middle-sized chair and one tiny little chair On the table were three bowls of porridge, one great big bowl, one middle-sized bowl and one tiny little bowl - and three spoons

Goldilocks was hungry, so she sat in the great big chair, picked up the biggest spoon and tried some of the porridge from the great big bowl But the chair was far too big and hard, the spoon was too heavy and the porridge too hot

So Goldilocks went over to the middle-sized chair But this chair was far too soft, and when she tried the porridge from the middle-sized bowl it was too cold So she went over to the tiny little chair and picked up the smallest spoon and tried some of the porridge from the tiny little bowl

This time it was neither too hot nor too cold It was just right and so delicious that Goldilocks ate it all up But she was too heavy for the tiny little chair and it broke in pieces

Then Goldilocks went upstairs where she found three beds There was a great big bed, a middle-sized bed and a tiny little bed First she lay down on the great big bed, but it was very big and far too hard Next she lay down

on the middle-sized bed, but that was far too soft Then she lay down on the tiny little bed It was neither too hard nor too soft In fact, it felt just right, and Goldilocks fell fast asleep

In a little while, the three bears came back from their walk in the forest

Father Bear looked around, then roared in a great big growly voice,

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR!"

Mother Bear said in a quiet gentle voice,

"Somebody has been sitting in my chair!"

And Little Bear said in a small squeaky baby voice, "Somebody has been sitting in my chair, and has broken it!"

Then Father Bear looked at his bowl of porridge and said in his great big growly voice

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN EATING MY PORRIDGE!"

Mother Bear looked at her bowl and said in her quiet gentle voice, "Somebody has been eating my porridge!"And Little Bear looked at his bowl and said in his small squeaky baby voice,

"Somebody has been eating my porridge, and has eaten ii all."

Then the three hears went upstairs Father Bear saw at once that his bed was untidy, and he said in his great big growly voice,

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BED!"

Mother Bear saw that her bed, too, had the bedclothes turned hack, and she said in her quiet gentle voice

"Somebody has been sleeping in my bed!"

And Little Bear looked at his bed, and he said in his small squeaky baby voice,

"Somebody is sleeping in my bed, NOW!"

He squeaked so loudly that Goldilocks woke up with a start She jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs and out into the forest And the three bears never saw her again

The Great Big Turnip

Once upon a time, in Russia, an old man planted some turnip seeds Each year he grew good turnips, but this year he was especially proud of one very big turnip He left it in the ground longer than the others and watched with amazement and delight as it grew bigger and bigger It grew so big that no one could remember ever having seen such a huge turnip before

At last the old man decided that the time had come to pull it up He took hold of the leaves of the great big turnip and pulled and pulled, but the turnip did not move

So the old man called his wife to come and help The old woman took hold of the old man, and the old man took hold of the turnip Together they pulled and pulled, but still the turnip did not move

So the old woman called her granddaughter to come and help The granddaughter took hold of the old woman, the old woman took hold of the old man, and the old man took hold of the turnip They pulled and pulled, but still the turnip did not move

The granddaughter called to the dog to come and help The dog took hold of the granddaughter, the

granddaughter took hold of the old woman, the old woman took hold of the old man, and the old man took hold

of the turnip They pulled and pulled, but still the turnip did not move

The dog called to the cat to come and help pull up the turnip The cat took hold of the dog, the clog took hold

of the granddaughter, the granddaughter took hold of the old woman, the old woman took hold of the old man, and the old man took hold of the turnip They all pulled and pulled as hard as they could, but still the turnip did not move

Then the cat called to a mouse to come and help pull up the great big turnip The mouse took hold of the cat, the cat took hold of the dog, the dog took hold of the granddaughter, the granddaughter took hold of the old woman, the old woman took hold of the old man, and he took hold of the turnip Together they pulled and pulled and pulled as hard as they could

Suddenly, the great big turnip came out of the ground, and everyone fell over

The old woman chopped up the great big turnip and made a great big pot of delicious turnip soup There was enough soup for every body - the mouse, the cat, the dog, the granddaughter, the old woman and the old

man There was even some left over

Cinderella

There was once a gentleman who lived in a fine house, with his kind and gentle wife and their pretty

daughter His wife died, so the gentleman married again His new wife was not at all kind or pretty She had been married before and had two daughters who were known, behind their backs, as the Ugly Sisters

Although they had no reason to be unkind, the two sisters were horrid to their new stepsister They ordered her about, scolded her and made her do all the work in the big house Her clothes became ragged and thin and far too small The poor girl was always cold and tired In the evenings she would rest on a stool close to the fire, almost in the cinders and ashes

"Cinderella, That's the perfect name for you", jeered the stepsisters when they saw her trying to keep warm.Now the king and queen of their country had a son, and they planned a big ball for the prince in the hope that

he might find a bride Invitations were sent to all the big houses When a large invitation card to the royal ball arrived at Cinderella's house, there was a great flurry of excitement New dresses were chosen for the Ugly Sisters and their mother, and nobody talked about anything except the ball

"I am sure the prince will fall in love with me", said one sister, smiling at herself in the mirror

"You silly fool", said the other, pushing her aside "He won't be able to resist falling in love with me Just think, one day I could he queen", and she pretended she was the queen already as she ordered Cinderella to get another pair of shoes for her to try on No one thought of asking Cinderella if she would like to go to the ball They scarcely even noticed her as they rushed around trying on different wigs, fans and gloves to go with their new ball dresses

At last the day of the ball came, and Cinderella worked harder than ever, helping the Ugly Sisters and her stepmother to get ready They quarrelled with each other all day, and by the time the carriage drove away to the

king's palace, with all the family in it, Cinderella was glad to have some peace But as she sat on her stool by the fire she could not help a tear falling onto the ashes, for she wished that she could have gone with them.Suddenly she realized that she was not alone A beautiful lady stood before her with a silver wand in her hand.

"Cinderella", she said "I am your fairy godmother Tell me, what are those tears for?"

Cinderella looked away

"I wish, oh how I wish, I could have gone to the ball too"

"So you shall", said her fairy, "godmother, but first we have some work to do For if you are to go to the ball, I cannot send you as you are Fetch me the largest pumpkin you can find in the garden"

Cinderella fetched the largest pumpkin she could see and with just a wave of her wand, her fairy godmother turned it into a gleaming golden coach

"Now we need a few horses", said her godmother "Look in the mouse trap and see if there is anything we can use"

Cinderella ran to the larder and found six mice running around in a cage She watched her godmother wave her wand and suddenly, harnessed to the coach, there were six shining dappled horses, stamping their feet

Those horses need a coachman, decided her godmother Look in the rat trap, Cinderella There were three rats

in the trap and as the godmother touched the largest rat with her wand, it disappeared But now up at the front

of the coach sat a fine plump whiskery coachman in a smart uniform

"Go and look behind the water barrel, Cinderella", said her godmother "and see if you can find something we can use for footmen"

Cinderella ran to the water barrel and brought two lizards to her godmother At the wave of her wand they were transformed into splendid footmen

"There now, Cinderella, your coach is ready", said her godmother with a smile "You will be able to go to the ball after all"

"How can I go like this?" sighed Cinderella, looking down in despair at her ragged clothes and bare feet Her godmother touched her with her wand - her rags turned into a shimmering gown and on her feet she was

wearing the prettiest pair of glass shoes she had ever seen

As Cinderella stepped into the coach her godmother gave her a strict warning "The magic will only last until midnight, and then everything will return to what it was before Be sure you leave the ball before midnight, Cinderella"

When Cinderella's coach arrived at the palace the word went round that a beautiful lady had arrived in such a splendid coach that she must be a princess The prince himself came down the steps to greet her and led her to the ballroom As they entered, the other guests fell silent in wonder and the musicians stopped playing The prince signaled to the musicians to play again and danced with Cinderella

The prince stayed at Cinderella's side all evening No one knew who she was Not even the Ugly Sisters

recognized her Cinderella was so happy that she did not notice how quickly the time was flying by

Suddenly she heard the clock strike the first stroke of midnight With a cry she left the prince and ran out of the ballroom As she flew down the steps, one of her shoes fell off, but she could not stop to pick it up

Although the prince tried to follow Cinderella through the crowd, he soon lost sight of her He questioned everyone carefully but no one had seen the beautiful lady leave The guards said that the only person who had gone out was a young raggedly-dressed girl No one noticed the pumpkin in the corner of the courtyard or some mice, a rat and a pair of lizards that slunk into the shadows But the prince did find the glass shoe on the steps, and lie recognized it as one of the elegant shoes the mysterious and lovely lady had worn

The next day the Ugly Sisters could talk of nothing but the beautiful lady who had captured the prince's

heart and how she had disappeared so suddenly and how no one knew her name

The palace issued a proclamation that the prince was looking for the lady who had worn the glass shoe His servants would tour the country with it until they found the lady whose foot it fitted and the prince would marry that lady The prince traveled around with his servants but time and again he was disappointed as the shoe failed to fit any lady's foot

At last they came to Cinderella's house The Ugly Sisters were waiting

"Let me try first", cried one, holding out her foot, and pushing as hard as she could to squeeze it into the

shoe But it was no good She gave up and laughed at her sister's efforts as she, too, tried to force her foot into the tiny glass shoe When she had failed, Cinderella stepped forward

"You!" sneered the Ugly Sisters "But you were not even at the ball"

Cinderella slipped her foot into the glass shoe - it fitted perfectly Then she drew from behind her back a second shoe which she put on her other foot At the same moment the fairy godmother appeared and touched Cinderella with her wand Instantly her ragged clothes changed back into the beautiful shimmering dress, and Cinderella once again became the lovely stranger

The delighted prince asked Cinderella to marry him and Cinderella replied that there was nothing she would like more The Ugly Sisters begged Cinderella to forgive them for their unkindness and she happily

agreed There was a fine royal wedding for Cinderella and the prince, and they lived happily ever after

Cinderella found two husbands for the Ugly Sisters at court, and they too lived happily ever after - well,

almost

The Ugly Duckling

One summer's day, when the corn was golden yellow and the hay was being dried in the fields, a mother duck was sitting on her nest of eggs She sat in the rushes of a deep moat that surrounded a lovely country manor and waited for her eggs to hatch They were taking a very long time and she was getting very tired

At last she felt a movement beneath her The eggs began to crack and out popped tiny fluffy ducklings All the eggs hatched except for one, which was larger than the rest The mother duck was impatient to take her new ducklings swimming but could not leave the last egg unhatched She sat, and she sat, and she sat, and just as she was about to give up, she heard a tap Out of the egg tumbled the oddest ugliest duckling imaginable.She took the babies into the water and proudly watched as they all swam straightaway, even the ugly

duckling She led them in a procession around the moat, showing them off to the other ducks As they bobbed along behind her she heard many quacks of admiration and praise for her fine family But she also heard quacks of laughter and scorn poured on the ugly duckling at the end of the line

"He was too long in the egg", she explained "He has not come out quite the right shape But he will soon grow into a fine duck, just like the others"

As the weeks went by, and the corn was harvested in the fields, the ducklings grew up into ducks But the ugly duckling with his grey feathers and clumsy shape remained different All the ducks on the moat made fun of him and refused to let him join in their games on the water

The ugly duckling could bear it no more As the autumn leaves began to fall he flew away to a great

marsh There he stayed alone, hiding from the ducks among the reeds

One day he heard a strange cry and the sound of wings in the air Looking up he saw three dazzling white birds flying majestically overhead The ugly duckling felt a strange longing He did not know the name of those birds but he felt he loved them more than he had loved anything before He watched as they passed over his head and flew beyond until they were out of sight

Autumn turned to winter, and the ugly duckling suffered many hardships The marshy water froze and for a while he was trapped fast in the ice A kind man broke the ice and took him to his home, but the ugly duckling was frightened by the noise and confusion inside the house He flapped his wings, upset a bucket of milk and fled as people shouted at him

At last spring came, and with it warm sunshine The ugly duckling flapped his wings To his surprise they felt bigger and stronger, and he found he was flying easily away from the marsh towards a large and beautiful lake

On the lake were the three wonderful birds the ugly duckling had seen flying overhead several months

before As the swans glided smoothly over the lake, he felt drawn to them, but he was sure they would tease him like the ducks because he was so ugly He hung his head in shame

All at once he saw a reflection in the smooth lake waters A beautiful swan with glossy white feathers and a fine yellow beak stared up at him He moved; the swan moved He opened his wings; so did the swan The ugly duckling suddenly realized - he was a swan

The other swans swam gracefully towards him, welcoming him Some children ran down to the lake, calling,

"Look, a new swan has appeared", and they threw bread into the water for him

The young and beautiful swan felt quite shy with all this attention, and hid his head under his wing But, as the lilac trees bent their branches down over the water and the sun shone warm and bright, he felt a deep

happiness He rustled his feathers, arched his sleek long neck and said to himself, "I never dreamed of such great happiness when I was the Ugly Duckling"

The Elves And The Shoemaker

Once upon a time there was a shoemaker who made very good shoes But though he worked hard in his shop, times were difficult and he became poorer and poorer One evening he realized he had only enough leather to make one more pair of shoes He cut up the leather and laid the pieces out on his workbench to sew in the morning when the light was better

"I may never make another pair of shoes", he sighed as he put up the shutters over his shop window

The next morning when he went back to his workbench he found a beautiful pair of shoes He examined them carefully and discovered they were made from the leather he had cut out the night before The stitches were exquisite, very tiny and neat, and he knew the shoes were far better than any he could have made Quickly he took down his shutters and placed the shoes in his shop window

Soon the door opened and in came a grand gentleman He bought the shoes and paid four times more than the price of an ordinary pair With this money the shoemaker bought more leather and enough food for several days.

That evening he sat at his workbench and cut out two pairs of shoes from his new leather He left the pieces laid out as before, all ready to sew in the morning, and put up the shutters

In the morning he could scarcely believe his eyes, for there on his workbench were two beautiful pairs of shoes

"Who could sew such tiny stitches?" he wondered, "and who could work so fast?"

He placed the shoes in the shop window Rich people who had never visited his shop before came in to buy them and paid a lot of money for them

Each night for many weeks the same thing happened Two pairs, sometimes four pairs, were made in a night.The shoemaker cut out all sorts of shoes: men's shoes, ladies' shoes, little children's shoes, dancing shoes, party shoes, shoes with laces, shoes with straps and buckles He became well known for the excellent shoes he sold, and each week he took even more money in his shop

One evening, just before Christmas, his wife suggested they should peep around the door of the workroom to see if they could find out who was making the shoes As the town clock struck midnight, there was a scuffling and a scurrying by the window, and two tiny little men squeezed through a crack in the shutters and hurried over to the workbench They took tiny tools from their workbags and began to work They stitched and

hammered, stitched and hammered, until a row of new shoes lay, on the workbench Then, their work finished, the elves left everything neat and tidy and vanished

As it was just before Christmas, the shoemaker's wife suggested that they should give presents to the two little men who had helped them so much during the year The next day she made two little green jackets and trousers and green hats to match, and her husband stitched two tiny pairs of boots

The shoemaker and his wife laid these gifts out on the workbench that evening, together with two little glasses

of wine and plates with little cakes and biscuits They then kept watch again At the stroke of midnight, they saw the elves scramble into the workshop and climb onto the workbench as they had done before When they saw the little green jackets, trousers and hats and tiny boots the elves gave a shout of joy They tried on their new clothes straightaway and they were so delighted they danced around the workbench, waving their hats in the air Then they sat down and ate all the food that had been left out, and disappeared as before

After Christmas the shoemaker still cut out the shoes and left the pieces on his workbench but the elves never returned They knew the shoemaker and his wife must have seen them, for their clothes were exactly the right size, and fairy people do not like to be seen But the shoemaker was now so well known that he had plenty of customers Although his stitches were not as tiny and neat as the elves stitches no one ever noticed For many years he was known as the best shoemaker in town and he and his wife were never poor again

Nail Soup

One dark and stormy night, a tramp knocked on the door of a cottage and asked for shelter An old woman answered the door and told the tramp sourly that he could come in if he wanted, but he must not expect any food for she had none in the house

"And don't think you'll get a bed to sleep on either", she added, "as I only have one and that is where I sleep".The tramp was hungry, but he could see he wasn't going to get any food, so he sat by the fire and took an old nail out of his pocket and tossed it from hand to hand

"Do you see this nail here?" he said at last "You'd never believe it, but last night I made the finest soup I have ever eaten by cooking this nail, and what is more I still have it to make more tonight Would you like me to make you some nail soup?"

"Nail soup!" snorted the old woman "I have never heard of such a thing Don't talk nonsense" But the tramp could see she was curious

"All I did", he told her, "was to boil it up in an old saucepan, and it was delicious"

"Well, since we have nothing else to do, and I have no food in the house, perhaps you would be good enough to show me how you do it", she said after a few moments

"You haven't a large pot and some water, have you?" asked the tramp

"Why yes", said the old woman, handing a big cooking pot to the tramp and showing him where the water was She watched as the tramp carefully filled the pot half full with water, placed it on the stove, and dropped

in the nail Then he sat down to wait

From time to time, the old woman peeped into the pot to see how the soup was doing, and once when she lifted the lid the tramp said, "Last night all that was needed was a little salt and pepper I don't suppose you have any

in the house?"

"I might have", said the old woman ungraciously, and from a cupboard she took salt and pepper which she dropped into the water with the nail.

The next time she lifted the lid, the tramp sighed, "What a pity you haven't got half an onion for that would make the soup even better than it was last night"

"I think I might have an onion", said the old woman, quite excited by now at the thought of the nail soup, and she went to the larder to fetch an onion As she opened the door, the tramp caught a glimpse of shelves stacked with food, but he said nothing until the onion had been in the pot for about ten minutes

Then, stirring the soup again, he murmured to himself, "How sad that this fine onion has no carrots and

potatoes to go with it" Just as he had hoped, the old woman quickly fetched some carrots and potatoes from the larder

By now, the soup was beginning to smell good, and it was not long before the tramp said that on nights when

he could add a little meat to his nail soup, it was fit even for kings and queens In a flash, the old woman had fetched some meat for the pot

While the soup was bubbling, the tramp looked round at the table "It's a funny thing", he remarked, "but my nail soup always tastes better when I eat it at a table that is laid with pretty china and when there is a candle or two on the table"

The old woman, not to be outdone, put out her best table cloth and got the best china off the dresser

What a shame, said the tramp, "that we have no bread to eat with this nail soup, but I remember you telling me there is no food in the house"

"I'll just look in the bread crock", said the old woman, and she pulled out a loaf that had been baked that

morning

The soup now smelled quite delicious, and the tramp was longing to eat it, but he waited a few more minutes before saying, "I am sorry there is no wine to drink with our nail soup, as I would have liked you to enjoy it with a glass of wine"

"Just a minute", said the old woman, and she fetched a fine looking bottle of wine from the back of a cupboard and put it on the table with two glasses

"Now the soup is ready I hope you enjoy it", said the tramp heartily, and he fished the nail out with a spoon and put it in his pocket before carrying the soup over to the table

They both had a wonderful meal After the soup, which the old woman agreed was the best she'd ever tasted, she found some cheese and other good things in the larder They told each other many stories, laughed a lot and had a very pleasant evening

As the candles burnt low, the old woman told the tramp to go and sleep in her bed, saying that she would be quite comfortable in a chair by the fire They both slept soundly

The next morning, the tramp thanked the old woman for her kindness, but she said

"No, no, I must thank you for showing me how to make soup from an old nail"

"It's what you add that makes the difference!" said the tramp, smiling

The Gingerbread Man

An old woman was baking one day, and she made some gingerbread She had some dough left over, so she made the shape of a little man She made eyes for him, a nose and a smiling mouth all of currants, and put currants down his front to look like buttons Then she laid him on a baking tray and put him in the oven

After a little while, she heard something rattling at the oven door She opened it and to her surprise out jumped the little gingerbread man She tried to catch him, but he slipped past her, calling as he ran, "Run, run, as fast as you can You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!"

She chased after him into the garden where her husband was digging He put down his spade and tried to catch him too, but the gingerbread man ran past him, calling "Run, run, as fast as you can You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!"

He ran down the road with the old woman and the old man following Soon he passed a cow The cow called out, "Stop, gingerbread man! You look good enough to eat!" But the gingerbread man laughed and shouted over his shoulder, "I've run from an old woman And an old man Run, run as fast as you can You can't catch

me I'm the gingerbread man!"

He ran on with the old woman and the old man and the cow following, and soon they all passed a

horse "Stop!" called the horse "I'd like to eat you" But the gingerbread man called out "I've run from an old woman And an old man And a cow! Run, run as fast as you can You can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man!"

He ran on, with the old woman and the old man and the cow and the horse following, and soon they passed some people making hay "Stop!" they shouted "You look good enough to eat" But the gingerbread man called out,

"I've run from an old woman And from an old man And a cow and a horse!

Run, run, as fast as you can You can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man!"

He ran across the fields with the old woman and the old man, the cow and the horse and the haymakers all following Soon he met a fox and called out, "Run, run, as fast as you can You can't catch me I'm the

gingerbread man!"

The sly fox thought to himself, "That gingerbread man looks good enough to eat", but he said nothing He waited until the gingerbread man reached a wide deep swift-flowing river, with the old woman and the old man, the cow and the horse and the haymakers all chasing after him Now the sly fox said, "Jump on my back, Gingerbread Man, and I'll take you across the river!"

The gingerbread man jumped on the fox's back and the fox began to swim As they reached the middle of the river, where the water was deep, the fox said, "Stand on my head, Gingerbread Man, or you will get wet" So the gingerbread man stood on the fox's head As the current flowed more swiftly, the fox said

"Move onto my nose, Gingerbread Man, so that I can carry you more safely I would not like you to drown".The gingerbread man slid onto the fox's nose But when they reached the hank on the far side of the river, the fox suddenly went SNAP! The gingerbread man disappeared into the fox's mouth and was never seen or heard

of again

The Story Of Persephone

This story is one of the tales that the ancient Greeks told about their gods It is the story of Persephone, the lovely daughter of Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest

Demeter travelled around the world with Persephone, visiting all the trees and plants that produce food As she passed by, they grew and flourished, and their fruit ripened On hot days as she walked through a field of corn, the husks would swell and the corn would turn golden Whenever she visited orchards and vineyards, the apples, peaches, pears and grapes would be sweet and ready to eat Persephone would dance with joy to see how lovely the flowers looked when Demeter touched them

One day Persephone asked her mother if she could go and play with her friends on the mountainside Demeter agreed, but warned her not to stray too far While Demeter visited some valleys where the harvest was late, Persephone and her friends scrambled happily over the mountainside They found many flowers growing in the mountain meadows, and began to pick them to make garlands and chains Further and further they wandered, until they were a long way from the valley where they had started

Soon the meadows were shimmering in the hot mid-day sun, Persephone grew tired and dropped behind her friends She sat down on the grass to rest while she finished the garland she was making

Suddenly there was a great crack and a roar The side of the mountain seemed to split open and out galloped six great black horses, pulling a gleaming black chariot Persephone was terrified and called out, "Mother, Mother, help me!" But even as she called, the man driving the chariot leant out and swept Persephone up into the chariot He pulled at the reins to turn the horses and they galloped back into the mountain With another roar and a crash the gap closed, leaving no trace of what had happened

Persephone's friends soon missed her and came back to look for her They hunted everywhere and called and called, but there was no sign of her anywhere At last they gave up and went back to tell Demeter

Together they searched for hours up and down the mountain, but could find no trace of Persephone until, in the evening, they came upon a fading garland of flowers lying in the grass Now Demeter knew that something dreadful must have happened to her daughter

Something terrible had happened indeed Persephone had been snatched by Hades, God of the Underworld, in his great black chariot He drove her back to his palace of dark caverns deep inside the earth The palace was full of beautiful things but Persephone was very unhappy there She missed the sunlight and the flowers, and all the colours of the world she had known, and most of all she longed to see her mother She was so unhappy that she refused to eat She just sat in a corner, pining for her old home Hades loved her and hoped to marry her, but Persephone time and again refused, saying that she wished only to return to the world above and her

mother

Meanwhile, Demeter continued to look for her daughter from one end of the world to the other While she searched, she gave no thought at all to the harvest Everywhere the crops failed and the farmers watched in despair as their corn failed to ripen and their fruit withered on the trees

Even Zeus, the King of the Gods, was worried He did not wish to see the people on earth go hungry, so when Demeter asked him to help her find Persephone, he agreed to do what he could His messengers soon came back with the information that she was with Hades in the Underworld Zeus had no power over those who lived

in the Underworld but there was a chance that Persephone might he saved She had not yet eaten anything there and so had not yet become part of the Underworld Each day Hades' servants brought her tempting dishes of