The graph shows differences in the numbers of visitors Music Choice and Pop Parade regard with/… tốt nhất nên dùng Overall, two new music sites both thiếu the saw an upward trend over th
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IELTS WRITING IELTS WRITING
Hà Ni, ngày 10 tháng 4, 2015
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Nếu bạn đang tìm một tuyển tập những bài essay band siêu cao 8.0 – 8.5 – 9.0
thì đây không phải là cuốn sách mà bạn đang tìm
Nếu bạn đang tìm một cuốn sách phân tích chi tiết các lỗi sai của các bài band
Cuốn “Tuyển tập bài chữa IELTS Writing” lấy nguồn từ các bài làm được các cao thủ IELTS chấm và chữa chi tiết từ đề luyện tập IELTS hàng tuần của
hoàn toàn miễn phí
Cuốn sách chi làm 2 phần: Task 1 và Task 2, mỗi phần gồm tuyển tập các bài
chữa của 4 tuần đầu tiên trên IELTS SHARE Mỗi bài đều có mục ghi chú để
giúp bạn đọc ghi chú những điều quan trọng học được từ lỗi sai của người viết
và thường cũng là những lỗi sai chung của các IELTSers band dưới 5.5 Đó có thể xem là mục quan trọng nhất của cuốn sách, nếu bạn viết kín các ô NOTES
đó chứng tỏ bạn học được rất nhiều điều bổ ích và ngược lại
Bram Stocker – tiểu thuyết gia người Ailen, tác giả của cuốn tiểu thuyết nổi tiếng “Dracula” có một câu nói nổi tiếng về việc học tập từ sự đúc rút kinh nghiệm:
“We learn from failure, not from success”
Vấp ngã là một trải nghiệm mang tính “hằn sâu”,nó giúp bạn thấm thía và nhớ rất lâu Tuy nhiên, chúng ta có thể tiết kiệm thời gian và công sức bằng cách học từ sai lầm của những người xung quanh Thành công mang tính định hướng, nếu muốn đạt được điều gì đó, hãy hành động ngay từ bây giờ và hãy học từ những sai lầm ☺
Trang 4Để có thể xuất bản tuyển tập này, tôi xin gửi lời cảm ơn chân thành đến các thầy
cô giáo, những cao thủ IELTS đã không quản ngại để giúp đỡ nhiệt tình và hoàn toàn miễn phí cho các IELTSers từ khắp nơi trên Việt Nam Thay mặt cộng đồng IELTS SHARE tôi xin gửi lời cảm ơn đến:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Gi%C3%A1o-L%C3%A0ng-Luy%E1%BB%87n-Writing/737417579670567?fref=ts
án Luyện thi IELTS chất lượng cao – FED
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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task
The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below
You should write at least 150 words
Bài 1:
The graph shows difference between two music websites called Music Choice and Pop Parade when it comes to the number of visits in a 15 day period Overall, two new music sites both saw
an upward trend over the period
Pop Parade, which was the more common site of the two, remained stable at around 120,000 visits in the first three days, followed by a dramatic fall to just under 40,000 visits on the ninth day In the rest of the period, there were considerable fluctuations in the number of people who clicked on this music site, which surged to nearly 150,000 after only two days and then dropped
by a half before reaching its peak at 170,000 on the last day
In contrast, the total number of visits to Music Choice was much less than to Pop Parade Starting from just one third of the latter, visits to the former increased 20,000 more to 60,000
on the third day, after that the figure fell to only 20,000 which was also the lowest point throughout the period On the subsequent days, the number was slightly erratic, making Music
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Choice welcome around 20,000 visits per day until the day eleven A significant rise to 12,000 listeners happened on the twelfth day, before falling back to just over 70,000 on the last day of the period
The graph shows differences in the numbers of visitors
Music Choice and Pop Parade
regard with/… tốt nhất nên dùng
Overall, two new music sites both
thiếu the) saw an upward trend over the period
Pop Parade, which was the more common site of the two
không ăn điểm đâu), remained stable at around 120,000 visits in the first three days,
by (thế này mới đúng chuẩn)
rest of the period, there were considerable fluctuations in the number of
this music (bỏ) site, (ở đây câu c
nearly 150,000 after only two days
dropped by a half (nên mở ngoặc hoặc
peak at 170,000 on the last day
In contrast (cá nhân mình hay khuyên h
contrary vì hai thằng in
contrast có cách dùng khác nhau)
number of visits (sẽ hợp lý h
dùng hits/ users access) to Music Choice was
much less (dùng đúng không?)
Parade Starting from just one third of the
latter, visits to the former increased
20,000 more (ý bạn là sao khi dùng more
sao lại dùng như vậy?) to 60,000 on the third
day, after that (ở trên kia không có Chủ Ngữ
thì bạn phải đẩy một Chủ Ngữ lên
chứ không phải đưa after that
figure fell to only (merely) 20,000 which was
also the lowest point throughout the period On
the subsequent days, the number was slightly
erratic,making Music Choice welcome
ốt nhất nên dùng cho các câu trong 2-3 đoạn Body)
both (chính ra phải đảo là both 2 thì đỡ phải lsaw an upward trend over the period shown/ provided
Pop Parade, which was the more common site of the two (mình nghĩ kiểu M
, remained stable at around 120,000 visits in the first three days,ẩn) a dramatic fall to just under 40,000 visits on the ninth day In the rest of the period, there were considerable fluctuations in the number of people who clicked on
câu của bạn đã đủ dài, nên tách thành câu mới)nearly 150,000 after only two days (chưa rõ là 2 days nào trong the rest days
ở ngoặc hoặc đặt giữa hai dấu phẩy, a half = ?)
on the last day (nên sửa chỗ này vì cuối đoạn kia có last daymình hay khuyên học sinh dùng mấy cụm contrastingly/ on the
in contrast/ by dùng khác nhau), the total
ẽ hợp lý hơn nếu
to Music Choice was (dùng đúng không?) than to Pop
Parade Starting from just one third of the
latter, visits to the former increased
o khi dùng more, tại
to 60,000 on the third
ở trên kia không có Chủ Ngữ
ẩy một Chủ Ngữ lên đây ngay
after that vào) the 20,000 which was oint throughout the period On the subsequent days, the number was slightly
making Music Choice welcome (cụm
3
Choice welcome around 20,000 visits per day until the day eleven A significant rise to 12,000 listeners happened on the twelfth day, before falling back to just over 70,000 on the last day of
between two music websites called
when it comes to/ in
in a 15-day period
ỡ phải lăn tăn the 2) (bạn
ĩ kiểu MĐQH thế này , remained stable at around 120,000 visits in the first three days, followed
a dramatic fall to just under 40,000 visits on the ninth day In the
people who clicked on ới) which surged to the rest days) and then ) before reaching its last day)
contrastingly/ on the
Trang 8này không nên dùng, hạn chế mấy cụm lạ lạ thế này) around 20,000 visits per day until the day (Day) eleven A significant rise to 12,000 listeners happened (dùng từ khác với nghĩa xuất hiện) on the twelfth day, before falling back to just over 70,000 on the last day of the period Important Notes:
Trình độ viết tốt nhưng hay có xu hướng viết những câu phức tạp Theo mình, các câu phức quá có thể khiến bạn bị trừ điểm vì Liên Từ hay Giới Từ bạn chèn vào giữa các câu đơn đôi khi không hợp lý
Thứ nữa, có một số (hình như là 2) cụm bạn miêu tả không đúng theo văn phong Task 1
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Bài 2:
A glance at the line graph provi
named Music Choice and Pop Parade over a 15 days period
Overall, the number of visits to both sites fluctuated over the period shown However, Pop Parade has more pageviews than Music Choice, e
In the first three days, there are around 120,000 visits to the Pop Parade Afterwards, the
number of visits bottoms out at over 30,000 on the seventh day Then it sees a dramatic
fluctuation and peaks at approximately 170,000 on
Only 40,000 listener accesses to the Music Choice on the first day, it is significantly lower than the figure for Pop Parade at the same time In the next ten days, the interest of people in the Music Choice still do not really rise How
number of pageviews of the site It peaks at over 120,000 on the fourteenth day, then drop suddenly to nearly 75,000 the last day
A glance at the line graph provided reveals
figure (trend hay variations thì h
đề bài là compares) for accesses to 2
fresh (bạn để new ổn, không
cả) music websites (nhiều ng
là Internet sites hoặc on the Internet
Music Choice and Pop Parade
chỗ này là namely) over a 15 days
khá nặng, over a 15-day period
Overall, the number of visits to both sites
fluctuated over the period shown However,
Pop Parade has more pageviews than Music
Choice, except for the twelfth day
In the first three days, there are
In the first three days, there are around 120,000 visits to the Pop Parade Afterwards, the
number of visits bottoms out at over 30,000 on the seventh day Then it sees a dramatic
fluctuation and peaks at approximately 170,000 on the fifteeth day
Only 40,000 listener accesses to the Music Choice on the first day, it is significantly lower than the figure for Pop Parade at the same time In the next ten days, the interest of people in the Music Choice still do not really rise However, from the eleventh day, there is a rapid climb in the number of pageviews of the site It peaks at over 120,000 on the fourteenth day, then drop suddenly to nearly 75,000 the last day
A glance at the line graph provided reveals the
thì hợp lý hơn vì for accesses to 2
Overall, the number of visits to both sites
fluctuated over the period shown However,
Pop Parade has more pageviews than Music
Choice, except for the twelfth day
In the first three days, there are around
ỏ) Pop Parade
Afterwards, the number of visits bottoms out (cụm này lạ nhỉ, mình không ch
at over 30,000 (đơn vị) on the seventh day Then it sees a dramatic ximately 170,000 (đơn vị) on the fifteeth day
5
ded reveals the figure for accesses to 2 fresh music websites
Overall, the number of visits to both sites fluctuated over the period shown However, Pop
In the first three days, there are around 120,000 visits to the Pop Parade Afterwards, the
number of visits bottoms out at over 30,000 on the seventh day Then it sees a dramatic
Only 40,000 listener accesses to the Music Choice on the first day, it is significantly lower than the figure for Pop Parade at the same time In the next ten days, the interest of people in the
ever, from the eleventh day, there is a rapid climb in the number of pageviews of the site It peaks at over 120,000 on the fourteenth day, then drop
, mình không chắc chắn lắm về
on the seventh day Then it sees a dramatic
on the fifteeth day
Trang 10Only 40,000 listeners accesses (mình nghĩ từ này không ổn lắm) to the (bỏ) Music Choice on the first day, it is significantly lower than the figure for Pop Parade at the same time (muốn nối câu thì dùng which is… compared to…, tức là cái việc (của vế trước) 40,000 người xem thấp hơn so với mức của Pop Parade) In the next ten days, the interest of people in the Music Choice still do not really rise (câu này không phải văn Task 1) (có thể nói the figure rose gradually hay gì đó) However, from the eleventh day, there is a rapid climb in the number
of pageviews (trùng) of the site It peaks (trùng) at over 120,000 (đơn vị) on the fourteenth day, then drops (chú ý chia) suddenly to nearly 75,000 (đơn vị) on the last day
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Bài 3:
The line graph illustrates the rates of visits to two new online music websi
Pop Parada) in 15 days Overall, the number of access to the both sites increased and Pop Parada was more popular than Music Choice
On the first day, the number of visits to Pop Parada accounted for under 120 thousand and remained until the third day However, from the third day to the ninth day, the amount of visits
to this website decreased to around 40 thousand on the ninth day Between the ninth day and the fifteenth day, the figure for Pop Parada rocketed to approximately 150 thoexperiencing a dip then reaching a peak of more than 170 thousand on the fifteenth day
The amount of visits to Music Choice, meanwhile, decreased slightly from 40 thousand to around 20 thousand between the first day and the eleventh day before witn
growth of about 100 thousand on the twelfth day From the day twelve to fifteen, the figure for this site declined to approximately 70 thousand
The line graph illustrates the
of) of visits to two new online music websites
Parada) (dùng namely hoặc đ
Overall, the number of access to
1 cái nó fluctuated rất mạnh)
was more popular (có lẽ là hơi c
Music Choice
On the first day, the number of visits
(dùng mỗi visits thôi là đủ rồi, lại không
bị lặp) to Pop Parada accounted for under 12
thousand (120,000) (bạn cần viết hẳn chữ số
ra luôn nhé, tránh được lỗi sai nh
này) and remained
stayable (còn mấy cách diễn
the third day However, from the third day to
the ninth day, the amount of visits to this
website decreased to around 40 thousand
the ninth day (chọn 1 trong 2 cụm thời gian)
Between the ninth day and the fifteenth day
(dùng between mình lại nghĩ có
The line graph illustrates the rates of visits to two new online music websites (Music Choice and Pop Parada) in 15 days Overall, the number of access to the both sites increased and Pop Parada was more popular than Music Choice
On the first day, the number of visits to Pop Parada accounted for under 120 thousand and
til the third day However, from the third day to the ninth day, the amount of visits
to this website decreased to around 40 thousand on the ninth day Between the ninth day and the fifteenth day, the figure for Pop Parada rocketed to approximately 150 thoexperiencing a dip then reaching a peak of more than 170 thousand on the fifteenth day
The amount of visits to Music Choice, meanwhile, decreased slightly from 40 thousand to around 20 thousand between the first day and the eleventh day before witn
growth of about 100 thousand on the twelfth day From the day twelve to fifteen, the figure for this site declined to approximately 70 thousand
The line graph illustrates the rates (nên dùng number/ amount/ quantity
of visits to two new online music websites (Music Choice and Pop
để giữa hai dấu phẩy) in 15 days (a 15-day periodOverall, the number of access to the (bỏ) both sites increased (chưa rõ ràng nhé,
ất mạnh) and Pop Parada
ơi cảm tính) than
the number of visits (trùng)
ủ rồi, lại không lo
to Pop Parada accounted for under 120
ạn cần viết hẳn chữ số
ợc lỗi sai như thế and remained unchanged/
ấy cách diễn đạt nữa) until
from the third day to , the amount of visits to this decreased to around 40 thousand on
ọn 1 trong 2 cụm thời gian)
and the fifteenth days
ại nghĩ có2 figures hóa ra chỉ có 1, thế thì dùng a period from X to
7
tes (Music Choice and Pop Parada) in 15 days Overall, the number of access to the both sites increased and Pop
On the first day, the number of visits to Pop Parada accounted for under 120 thousand and
til the third day However, from the third day to the ninth day, the amount of visits
to this website decreased to around 40 thousand on the ninth day Between the ninth day and the fifteenth day, the figure for Pop Parada rocketed to approximately 150 thousand, experiencing a dip then reaching a peak of more than 170 thousand on the fifteenth day
The amount of visits to Music Choice, meanwhile, decreased slightly from 40 thousand to around 20 thousand between the first day and the eleventh day before witnessing a sharp growth of about 100 thousand on the twelfth day From the day twelve to fifteen, the figure for
number/ amount/ quantity hoặc figure for/
(Music Choice and Pop day period mới đúng)
õ ràng nhé, chỉ thấy là có
a period from X to
Trang 12Y đi), the figure for Pop Parada rocketed to approximately 150 thousand, experiencing a dip then reaching a peak of more than 170 thousand on the fifteenth day (chỗ này quá dài và phức tạp để gom thành 1 vế như thế này)
(rất cần Liên Từ) The amount of visits (2 đoạn 2 cụm từ y chang nhau, cần lưu ý diễn đạt) to Music Choice, (có meanwhile thì chắc không phải là phẩy như thế này) meanwhile (dùng and then), decreased slightly from 40 thousand to around 20 thousand between the first day and the eleventh day (chỗ này tách) before witnessing (bạn định nói là a number witnesses hay là 1 website witnesses) (nhầm Chủ Ngữ là xong cả câu luôn) a sharp growth of about 100 thousand on the twelfth day From the day twelve to fifteen (số thứ tự mà linh tinh quá!), the figure for this site declined to approximately 70 thousand
Important Notes:
Câu Overall nên là fluctuation (1st half) và increases (2nd half)
Số liệu tạm được nhưng cụm amount/ number of visits dùng đi dùng lại chán quá!
Có thể thay, visitors, access, figure, number, Pop Parada/ Music Choice, visits to, number of hits,…
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The number of listeners choosing Music Choice is not as fluctu
day 12 and 13, the pageview of this site is lower than its opponent Starting with 40.000 visits
on the first day and growing up with 60.000 visits on the third day, then the figure remains stable between 20.000 to 40.00
fourth day witnesses a marked growth in the number of users when around 120.000 people clicking this website After climbing to the
highest point, the figure drops as fast as its
growth – only under 80.000 people staying
with Music Choice in the final day
The chart (line graph) describes
the (dùng information thì hay
với provide) information concerning
many people visiting to (the number of visits
of) two new music sites named Music Choice
and Pop Parade over a 15-day period As the
chart shows, Pop Parade is (seems to be
attractive to listeners than the other
như Task
2), but (dùng however, nevertheless
general, both of them see a fluctuate trend
The chart describes the information concerning how many people visiting to two new music sites named Music Choice and Pop Parade over a 15-day period As the chart shows, Pop Parade
ve to listeners than the other, but in general, both of them see a fluctuate trend in
In the first day, Pop Parade starts perfectly with 120.000 users, which is 3 times as high as the figure Music Choice own the same day This number is do not changes much after 2 days later But from the fourth day to the eleventh day, the elesticity can be seen clearly when only under 40.000 users acessing this site which is the lowest point in day 7, then increases dramatically to
s on the eleventh day After falling down significantly on the thirteenth day, the figure starts growing up again and reaches the highest peak on the fifth day with more than
The number of listeners choosing Music Choice is not as fluctuate as Pop Parade’s, but except for day 12 and 13, the pageview of this site is lower than its opponent Starting with 40.000 visits
on the first day and growing up with 60.000 visits on the third day, then the figure remains stable between 20.000 to 40.000 until the day eleventh The period from the twelveth day to the fourth day witnesses a marked growth in the number of users when around 120.000 people clicking this website After climbing to the
highest point, the figure drops as fast as its
ly under 80.000 people staying
with Music Choice in the final day
describes thì hay đi kèm information concerning how
the number of visits two new music sites named Music Choice
day period As the seems to be) more
s than the otherone (nghe
nevertheless) in see a fluctuate trend (see
9
The chart describes the information concerning how many people visiting to two new music
day period As the chart shows, Pop Parade
ve to listeners than the other, but in general, both of them see a fluctuate trend in
In the first day, Pop Parade starts perfectly with 120.000 users, which is 3 times as high as the
is do not changes much after 2 days later But from the fourth day to the eleventh day, the elesticity can be seen clearly when only under 40.000 users acessing this site which is the lowest point in day 7, then increases dramatically to
s on the eleventh day After falling down significantly on the thirteenth day, the figure starts growing up again and reaches the highest peak on the fifth day with more than
ate as Pop Parade’s, but except for day 12 and 13, the pageview of this site is lower than its opponent Starting with 40.000 visits
on the first day and growing up with 60.000 visits on the third day, then the figure remains
0 until the day eleventh The period from the twelveth day to the fourth day witnesses a marked growth in the number of users when around 120.000 people
Trang 14fluctuations đủ rồi) in the number of visits
In the first day, Pop Parade starts (bao giờ cũng là Starting from X, A does) perfectly (mình không nghĩ mấy Trạng Từ như thế này dùng được, thấy hơi cảm tính) with 120.000 users, which is 3 times as high as (không khoái mấy kiểu miêu tả thế này lắm, có thể dùng tương đương 3 times higher than) the figure Music Choice own the same day (that of Music Choice) This number is do not changes much (What the hell is going on here?) after (không bao giờ viết thế này, phải là in the 2 next days) 2 days later But (chỉ nên dùng đầu đoạn còn lại) from the fourth day to the eleventh day, the elesticity (nghĩa gì nhỉ?) can be seen clearly when only under (1 trong 2) 40.000 users accessing this site which is the lowest point in day
7 (thông tin phụ đưa sau các cặp dấu phẩy), then (thiếu Chủ Ngữ) increases dramatically to over 140.000 visits on the eleventh day After falling down significantly on the thirteenth day, the figure starts growing up again and reaches the highest peak (dùng tùm lum quá!) on the fifth day, with more than 170.000 visitors
The number of listeners choosing Music Choice is not as fluctuate as Pop Parade’s, but except for day 12 and 13, the pageview of this site is lower than its opponent (câu này con lai giữa Task
1 và Task 2) (the number of gì đó + V + O + Time, except for…, while…) Starting with 40.000 visits on the first day and growing up (chỉ nên dùng 1 Động Từ thôi) with 60.000 visits on the third day, then the figure remains stable between 20.000 to 40.000 from that day until the day eleventh The period from the twelveth day to the fourth day witnesses a marked growth in the number of users when (thay bằng of) around 120.000 people clicking (dùng luôn Danh Từ + on) this website After climbing to the highest point (ý là reach a peak à), the figure drops as fast as its growth (kiểu miêu tả khá hồn nhiên) – only under 80.000 people (dùng từ chán ghê, bên trên toàn visit mà không nhớ ra visitors) staying with Music Choice in the final day Important Notes:
Chỗ fluctuation mà thấy bí thì dùng changes in the figure of… Vì thường mình thích fluctuate widely còn fluctuations mình ít dùng (trends/ changes nghe ổn hơn)
Bài bạn chắc tham khảo nhiều nguồn chứ chưa học bài bản Bạn nên đi luyện 1 khóa ở ngoài trung tâm Mình chữa 1 bài của bạn mất thời gian gấp 2-3 lần các bạn bên trên
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Bài 5:
The line graph above provides information about the quantity of visits to two kind of music sites
on the web over the period Overall, the
number of visits to Pop Parade was mostly higher than that of Music Choice during two weeks period
For the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000s to below 40,000s, the number of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s levels and 60,000s levels and then stood at over 20,000s at the seventh day Over the next four days, the number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about 150,
In contrast, the figure for Music Choice remained stable at over 20,000s
For the last four days, the patterns of two sites were relatively different Initially, visits to Pop Parade dropped suddenly, but then it soared to the peak at
period Meanwhile, the figure for Music Choice
rose significantly to reach its peak at 14 day
and then decreased to end the period at below
80,000s
The line graph above (không dùng
nhé) provides informationabout
on và data on) the quantity of visits to
two kind of (bỏ) music sites on the
web (dùng online thay thế vì ý tác giả cũng
là như vậy) over the period Overall, there
were wild fluctuations in figures of both sites
and (chỗ này có lẽ nên tách thành câu
hoặc dùng while) the number of visits to Pop
Parade was mostly higher than that of Music
Choice during two weeks (a two
For the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000sbelow 40,000s, the number of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s
60,000slevels and then stood at over 20,000s
toàn có thể tách thành 2 câu, câu 1
next four days, the number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about
The line graph above provides information about the quantity of visits to two kind of music sites
on the web over the period Overall, there were wild fluctuations in figures of both sites and the number of visits to Pop Parade was mostly higher than that of Music Choice during two weeks
For the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000s to
w 40,000s, the number of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s levels and 60,000s levels and then stood at over 20,000s at the seventh day Over the next four days, the number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about 150,000s in eleventh day
In contrast, the figure for Music Choice remained stable at over 20,000s
For the last four days, the patterns of two sites were relatively different Initially, visits to Pop Parade dropped suddenly, but then it soared to the peak at about 170,000s at the end of the period Meanwhile, the figure for Music Choice
rose significantly to reach its peak at 14 day
and then decreased to end the period at below
(không dùng provides informationabout (information
the quantity of visits to music sites on the
ế vì ý tác giả cũng over the period Overall, there were wild fluctuations in figures of both sites
ỗ này có lẽ nên tách thành câu 2,
the number of visits to Pop Parade was mostly higher than that of Music
a two-week) period
the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000s
of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s60,000slevels and then stood at over 20,000s at the seventh day (câu này nhi
ể tách thành 2 câu, câu 1 => It is obvious that…, câu 2 => Meanwhile,…
our days, the number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about
11
The line graph above provides information about the quantity of visits to two kind of music sites
re were wild fluctuations in figures of both sites and the number of visits to Pop Parade was mostly higher than that of Music Choice during two weeks
For the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000s to
w 40,000s, the number of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s levels and 60,000s levels and then stood at over 20,000s at the seventh day Over the next four days, the
000s in eleventh day
For the last four days, the patterns of two sites were relatively different Initially, visits to Pop
about 170,000s at the end of the
the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000s to
of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s levels and
(câu này nhiều ý quá) (hoàn Meanwhile,…) Over the our days, the number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about
Trang 16150,000s in the eleventh day In contrast, the figure for Music Choice remained stable at over 20,000s
For the last four days, the patterns of two sites were relatively different Initially (dùng Firstly nhé, từ của bạn dùng có nghĩa khác), visits to Pop Parade dropped suddenly, but then it soared to the peak at about 170,000s at the end of the period Meanwhile, the figure for Music Choice rose significantly to reach its peak at 14 day(Day 14) and then (thấy cái then này phải 4 lần rồi thì phải) decreased to end the period (mình không đồng ý với cụm này, lối diễn đạt khá lạ) at below 80,000s
Trang 17FED - Boost Your IELTS Score
Bài 1:
The table shows the ratings of course satisfaction from first
The table compares three courses in terms of their pre
printed resource and other resources It is clear that all subjects are achieved satisfaction above
60% in every category, except the pre
Economics is highlighted in teaching and tutor , with 95% and 92%
normal percentage- with percentage from 60% to 80% in both five aspects, and
satisfaction is 72% It is the most oustanding that Commerce is the best course with all indexs
are above 80% Commerce is quite striker on
lowest one in pre-course information and other resources
Of the three specific courses, Commerce is the most satisfying one with average percentage is
90%, absolutely higher than the rest of table
The table shows the ratings of course satisfaction from first
không sai gì cả nhưng có lẽ band
từ show, first-year students)
The table compares three courses in terms of their pre
printed resource and other resources
WEEK WEEK2 2 2
The table shows the ratings of course satisfaction from first-year students
The table compares three courses in terms of their pre-course information, teaching, tu
printed resource and other resources It is clear that all subjects are achieved satisfaction above
60% in every category, except the pre-course information of Economics, with only 59%
Economics is highlighted in teaching and tutor , with 95% and 92% of fulfillment Law gets a
with percentage from 60% to 80% in both five aspects, andsatisfaction is 72% It is the most oustanding that Commerce is the best course with all indexs
are above 80% Commerce is quite striker on all aspects than the others, while Economics is
course information and other resources
Of the three specific courses, Commerce is the most satisfying one with average percentage is
90%, absolutely higher than the rest of table
e shows the ratings of course satisfaction from first-year students
ẽ band điểm chỉ 6.0-6.5 thôi) (bạn có thể paraphrase lại các
The table compares three courses in terms of their pre-course information, teaching, tutor,
sources (sao lại viết câu này độc lập?) (nếu cần nêu 3 yếu tố
13
course information, teaching, tutor, printed resource and other resources It is clear that all subjects are achieved satisfaction above
course information of Economics, with only 59%
of fulfillment Law gets a with percentage from 60% to 80% in both five aspects, and the average satisfaction is 72% It is the most oustanding that Commerce is the best course with all indexs
all aspects than the others, while Economics is
Of the three specific courses, Commerce is the most satisfying one with average percentage is
year students (viết thế này thì
ạn có thể paraphrase lại các
course information, teaching, tutor,
ộc lập?) (nếu cần nêu 3 yếu tố
Trang 18thì nêu ngay từ câu trên, bên trên vẫn khá
ngắn) (cho cụm in three subjects
clear that all subjects are achieved satisfaction
(sửa chỗ ba lăng nhăng này) (1 là đ
ra) (2 có thể nói overall satisfaction of
thế) above 60% in every category
đánh giá thì sẽ là criteria), except
là bị trừ điểm nặng, rất lưu ý giùm
course information of Economics,
only (merely được rồi) 59%
Economics is highlighted in teaching and
tutor (không miêu tả kiểu này) (
in terms of Economics gì đó)
92% of fulfillment (mình không ch
này được không nhưng tự d
con số vào 2 tiêu chí trên thì h
kèm mấy thằng còn lại, khoảng 60%)
ngược chiều) Law gets (thời QK
củng) from 60% to 80% (tránh miêu t
nặng, all) five aspects (từ này cao siêu quá)
trên thì thôi ý này chứ, vừa nói khoảng lại vừa nói con số trung bình cộng)
giờ có Liên Từ?) It is the most oustanding
the best course with all indexs
Commerce is quite (thiếu gì từ
all aspects (tương tự) than the others, while Ec
khá phổ biến) pre-course information and other resources
nhấn, thì phải có số liệu)
Of the three specific courses, Commerce is the most satisfying
đó?) with (an) average percentage
định đối tượng linh tinh) (tiếp,
nhất gì đó)
Important Notes:
ừ câu trên, bên trên vẫn khá
in three subjects vào) It is are achieved satisfaction ăng nhăng này) (1 là đã diễn
satisfaction of thay category (tiêu chí except (for, thiếu
ý giùm) the course information of Economics, with
pre-ghted in teaching and
ả kiểu này) (First of all, đó), with 95% and (mình không chắc dùng từ
ự dưng bồi cho 2
ố vào 2 tiêu chí trên thì hơi chụp giựt) (sao bạn không miêu tả 2 thằng
ấy thằng còn lại, khoảng 60%) (bạn phải dùng Liên Từ và nên thể hiện yếu tố
ời QKĐ hết thì hợp lý) a normal percentage- with percentage(tránh miêu tả chung chung như thế
ừ này cao siêu quá), and the average satisfaction is
ứ, vừa nói khoảng lại vừa nói con số trung bình cộng)
It is the most oustanding (lỗi thiếu Danh Từ đáng cho 5.0)indexs (không nên dùng từ này) (chưa kể chia sai)
ếu gì từ ăn điểm, relatively) striker (không hithan the others, while Economics is (the) lowest one incourse information and other resources (khi chỉ ra sự trái ng
Of the three specific courses, Commerce is the most satisfying one (one thay cho t
average percentage is (of) 90%, absolutely higher than the rest of tableợng linh tinh) (tiếp, đáng lý con số nên đảo về cuối, trước đó nói cao hơn, cao
ả 2 thằng highest đi
ạn phải dùng Liên Từ và nên thể hiện yếu tố
with percentage (lủng
ế này) in both (trừ the average satisfaction is 72% (đã nói ý
ứ, vừa nói khoảng lại vừa nói con số trung bình cộng) (không bao
đáng cho 5.0) that Commerce is
ể chia sai) are above 80% (không hiểu ý bạn) on lowest one in (terms of, cụm
ỉ ra sự trái ngược, điểm
thay cho từ nào trước the rest of table (xác
đó nói cao hơn, cao
Trang 1915
FED - Boost Your IELTS Score
Mình tìm được 1 số cụm: student satisfaction rates, program satisfaction of year university students, student satisfaction with the course, student course satisfaction ratings, etc Bạn chọn lọc rồi thay nhé Riêng student they bằng freshman
first- Khi nhắc đến các tiêu chí có thể dùng in terms of, regarding, for hoặc dùng trực tiếp tên môn học saw a number/ figure of…
Về Bố Cục, viết thừa 1 câu Introduction, thừa 1 câu Conclusion trong khi có mỗi 1 đoạn chính gộp cả 3 thằng vào nhau Mình thấy như vậy rất là không hợp lý
Hồ Quang Trung
Trang 20Bài 2:
The table illustrates the level of satisfaction about economics, law and commerce courses from the first-year students Overall, it is noticeable that while commerce courses have the highest rate of satisfaction in all criteria, fewer st
When it comes to pre-course information, commerce tops among three categories, with 59% of satisfaction, whereas the proportion of being satisfied with the economics and law courses are
at 59% and 72% respectively In terms
place Law ranks the second place with 95 and 92 %
criteria are slightly lower, at 76
With regards to resource criterion, the figure
rank In contrast, law accounts for 81% , compared to solely 70% of satisfaction in law courses From the table it can be seen that other sources are also evaluated by students andeconomics is the most unsatisfactory than
The table illustrates the level
paraphrase từ rate/ rating các ki
satisfaction about economics, law and
commerce courses from the (th
mạnh) first-year students Overall,
noticeable that while commerce courses have
the highest rate of satisfaction in all criteria,
fewer students contend with (Task 1 ch
tả thôi, không nên nói gì ngoài luồng)
courses
When it comes to pre-course information,
commerce tops (cách diễn
three categories, with 59% of satisfaction,
whereas the proportion of being satisfied
with (sao không dùng figures for
hơn nhiều) the (dùng luôn tên riêng)
gợi ý thì bỏ từ này) 59% and 72% respectively In terms of teaching
commerce still remains in the first place
thêm số liệu) Law ranks (nhi
while the figures for teaching and tutor criteria are slightly lower, at 76 and 70%
The table illustrates the level of satisfaction about economics, law and commerce courses from
year students Overall, it is noticeable that while commerce courses have the highest rate of satisfaction in all criteria, fewer students contend with law courses
course information, commerce tops among three categories, with 59% of satisfaction, whereas the proportion of being satisfied with the economics and law courses are
at 59% and 72% respectively In terms of teaching an tutor, commerce still remains in the first place Law ranks the second place with 95 and 92 % while the figures for teaching and tutor criteria are slightly lower, at 76 and 70% respectively
With regards to resource criterion, the figure for law course is 86%, which maintains on the top
accounts for 81% , compared to solely 70% of satisfaction in law From the table it can be seen that other sources are also evaluated by students and
unsatisfactory than law and commerce courses The table illustrates the levels (chắc chỉ cần
các kiểu thôi) of satisfaction about economics, law and
(thừa, sẽ bị trừ year students Overall, it is
noticeable that while commerce courses have
the highest rate of satisfaction in all criteria,
(Task 1 chỉ miêu
ả thôi, không nên nói gì ngoài luồng) law
course information,
ễn đạt lạ) among three categories, with 59% of satisfaction,
proportion of being satisfied
figures for đơn giản (dùng luôn tên riêng) economics and law courses are at (n59% and 72% respectively In terms of teaching an tutorcommerce still remains in the first place (câu này cụt lủn quá, nên có so sánh, không thì
(nhiều cách dùng từ hơi lạ) the second place with 95 and 92% the figures for teaching and tutor criteria are slightly lower, at 76 and 70%
The table illustrates the level of satisfaction about economics, law and commerce courses from
year students Overall, it is noticeable that while commerce courses have the highest
course information, commerce tops among three categories, with 59% of satisfaction, whereas the proportion of being satisfied with the economics and law courses are
of teaching an tutor, commerce still remains in the first
while the figures for teaching and tutor
for law course is 86%, which maintains on the top accounts for 81% , compared to solely 70% of satisfaction in law From the table it can be seen that other sources are also evaluated by students and
(nếu dùng như mình
an tutor (cái gì đây),
ụt lủn quá, nên có so sánh, không thì the second place with 95 and 92% the figures for teaching and tutor criteria are slightly lower, at 76 and 70% respectively
Trang 2117
FED - Boost Your IELTS Score
With regards to resource criterion, the figure for law course is 86%, which maintains (nên nối bằng and) on the (có ai chia đâu mà toàn dùng mấy từ này, dùng highest/ lowest là được rồi) top rank In contrast, law accounts for (không phải dạng cột hay ô tròn) 81%, compared
to solely 70% (nếu trước đấy bạn dùng từ này cho chỗ 81% thì ở đây là that of) of satisfaction in law courses From the table it can be seen that (cách nói này hình như là của overall/ conclusion, có vẻ bạn đã miêu tả đủ dài) other sources are also evaluated by students and economics is the most unsatisfactory than law and commerce courses
Trang 22Đề luyện tập tuần này rơi vào d
Module tại Việt Nam ngày 14.02.2015
Như thường lệ: các bạn nên luyện tập dành tối
hoặc không đủ tiêu chuẩn bài làm của một bài thi IELTS WRITING sẽ không
Ưu tiên 5 bạn nộp bài sớm nhất Chúc các bạn làm bài
stage and finally being stored in a tank for drinking
Looking at the first stage, we can see that blue impure water is poured from a vase into a tank, where the water is then pushed through three fi
gravel ones After the purifying process is done, dusts from water are left on the filter and the fresh water continues with being absorbed into a
equipped to connect between two containers and assist this stage At the final stage, the water is stored in a large container for drinking
WEEK WEEK3 3 3
ơi vào dạnh miêu tả quy trình – Lấy từ đề thi IELTS Academic
ại Việt Nam ngày 14.02.2015
ờng lệ: các bạn nên luyện tập dành tối đa 20′ để làm task 1 Các bài viết quá ngắn
ủ tiêu chuẩn bài làm của một bài thi IELTS WRITING sẽ không
ạn nộp bài sớm nhất Chúc các bạn làm bài tốt
The flow chart shows the process of making a simple filter water and the important functions of
Overall, there are four different stages which involves in the production of fresh water, beginning with pouring impure water into a chamber The water then goes through filtering stage and finally being stored in a tank for drinking
Looking at the first stage, we can see that blue impure water is poured from a vase into a tank, where the water is then pushed through three filtering layers including sand, charcoal and gravel ones After the purifying process is done, dusts from water are left on the filter and the fresh water continues with being absorbed into a large container by a hose or a pipe which are
t between two containers and assist this stage At the final stage, the water is stored in a large container for drinking
ề thi IELTS Academic
ể làm task 1 Các bài viết quá ngắn
ủ tiêu chuẩn bài làm của một bài thi IELTS WRITING sẽ không được chấm
The flow chart shows the process of making a simple filter water and the important functions of
Overall, there are four different stages which involves in the production of fresh water,
er into a chamber The water then goes through filtering
Looking at the first stage, we can see that blue impure water is poured from a vase into a tank,
ltering layers including sand, charcoal and gravel ones After the purifying process is done, dusts from water are left on the filter and the
large container by a hose or a pipe which are
t between two containers and assist this stage At the final stage, the water is
Trang 23FED - Boost Your IELTS Score
The flow chart shows the process of making a
simple filter water andthe important functions
of producing clean water (viết thế này kh
nhiều người nghĩ bạn sẽ liệt kê
which are important) (two stages
parts)
Overall, there are four different stages
involves in (mình nghĩ nên dùng
to… là hợp lý và đơn giản nhất, có phẩy)
production of fresh water, beg
pouring impure water into a chamber
quá) The water then goes through filtering
stage and finally being stored in a tank for
drinking (tách ra chứ ai lại gộp
(câu đầu theo mình là
từ beginning trở đi khá là linh tinh
Looking (bỏ đi, có cụm đi sau là đư
rườm rà) blue impure water is poured from a vase into a tank, where the water is then pushed through three filtering layers including
bộ các thành phần) sand, charcoal and gravel
nhất) ones After the purifying process
left on the filter (cụm này ch
or impurities are removed) and
continues with being absorbed into a
sang câu/ đoạn khác bằng một Liên Từ)
containers and assist this stage
in a large container for drinking
Important Notes:
Định chữa ít thôi nhưng càng đ
vậy
Chia Đoạn 3 ra làm 2 đo
Thay từ container hoặc loại bỏ vì
The flow chart shows the process of making a
the important functions
ết thế này khiến
ời nghĩ bạn sẽ liệt kê functions
two stages hoặc two
Overall, there are four different stages which
ĩ nên dùng from…
ản nhất, có phẩy) the production of fresh water, beginning with
pouring impure water into a chamber (tham
The water then goes through filtering
stage and finally being stored in a tank for
ứ ai lại gộp như vậy)
là ổn rồi còn ý
đi khá là linh tinh)
đi sau là được rồi) at the first stage, we can see thatimpure water is poured from a vase into a tank, where the water is then pushed
including (dùng of nhé vì include nghĩa là sẽ không nói hết toàn sand, charcoal and gravel (dùng Danh Từ như trong h
the purifying process (water purificiation) is done, dusts from water are
ụm này chưa chính xác) dusts (có lẽ là undesireable chemicals
and the fresh water (mình nghĩ nên tìm cụm khácbeing absorbed into a large container by a hose or a pipe (ch
ạn khác bằng một Liên Từ) which are equipped to connectand assist this stage (nghe hơi Vietnamese) At the final stage, the water is stored
in a large container for drinking
ưng càng đọc càng thấy nhiều chỗ cảm giác ổn m
đoạn Trong đó Đoạn 2 thì dài hơn chút, thêm 1 câu là t
(chỗ này có lẽ nên nối
ch are equipped to connect between two At the final stage, the water is stored
ọc càng thấy nhiều chỗ cảm giác ổn mà không phải
ơn chút, thêm 1 câu là tốt
Trang 24Bài 2:
A glance at a diagram provided reveals a step by step process of producing clean drinking water
At first glance it is obvious that there are some main stages involving in this procedure,
beginning with pouring impure water into the filter and culminating in storaging in a tank.Looking at the process in detail, the first step is started with pouring
contains three different layers such as sand, charcoal and gravel Afterthat, the water is filtered through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water The step after this is after being filted, clean water is flowed through the pipe which is connected from the bottom of the filter to the tank Finally, pure water is reserved in a tank for the purpose of using
in daily life
A glance at a (the) diagram provided reveals
a step by step (nối lại) process of producing
clean drinking water (thiếu 1 ý của
first glance it is obvious that there are some
main stages involving in this procedure,
beginning with pouring impure water into the
filter and culminating in storaging in a
tank (mình nghĩ cần nói from… to
không nên chỉ dừng ở bước đ
Looking at the process in detail, the first step is
started with pouring water into the filter
which contains three different layers such as
sand, charcoal and gravel (chỗ này có thể
được 3 câu, ít thì 2 câu) After that
is filtered through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water
cái after that nhé vì bạn có miêu tả b
cái thùng đầu) The step after this
filted, clean water is flowed (mình ngh
connected from the bottom of the filter to the tank
Hệ với connecting) (chỗ này có th
đoạn) Finally, pure water is reserved in a tank
rối rắm quá, bạn gõ clean drinking water
A glance at a diagram provided reveals a step by step process of producing clean drinking water
At first glance it is obvious that there are some main stages involving in this procedure,
beginning with pouring impure water into the filter and culminating in storaging in a tank.Looking at the process in detail, the first step is started with pouring water into the filter which contains three different layers such as sand, charcoal and gravel Afterthat, the water is filtered through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water The step after
an water is flowed through the pipe which is connected from the bottom of the filter to the tank Finally, pure water is reserved in a tank for the purpose of using
diagram provided reveals
ss of producing
ếu 1 ý của đề) At first glance it is obvious that there are some
main stages involving in this procedure,
beginning with pouring impure water into the
filter and culminating in storaging in a
from… to chứ đầu)
Looking at the process in detail, the first step is
water into the filter which contains three different layers such as
ỗ này có thể ăn After that, the water
is filtered through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water
ạn có miêu tả bước nào tiếp theo đâu, bạn đang nói vThe step after this (thiếu gì cách diễn đạt mà chọn cụm này)
(mình nghĩ nên dùng Chủ Động) through the pipe which is connected from the bottom of the filter to the tank (sao không dùng Rút Gọn Mệnh
y có thể chấm hết Đoạn 1, xuống dòng, coi như đ Finally, pure water is reserved in a tank for the purpose of using in daily life
clean drinking water có đầy cách nói hay và đơn giản h
A glance at a diagram provided reveals a step by step process of producing clean drinking water
At first glance it is obvious that there are some main stages involving in this procedure,
beginning with pouring impure water into the filter and culminating in storaging in a tank
water into the filter which contains three different layers such as sand, charcoal and gravel Afterthat, the water is filtered through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water The step after
an water is flowed through the pipe which is connected from the bottom of the filter to the tank Finally, pure water is reserved in a tank for the purpose of using
is filtered through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water (tránh
đang nói về chức năng của
ạt mà chọn cụm này) is after being through the pipe which is
ọn Mệnh Đề Quan
ư đã qua 2 công for the purpose of using in daily life (diễn đạt
ản hơn
Trang 2521
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nhiều) (hoặc nối câu trước vào với câu này và coi đây là Đoạn 2, nước chảy qua vòi và chứa nước)
Important Notes:
Câu 1 viết dài ra tí vì đề có 2 ý lận
Câu 2 cũng thế, viết hẳn thành 1 đoạn không sao
Để tránh chuyện thiếu trước hụt sau do cái đề nó chỉ có như vậy thì Đoạn
Introduction và Đoạn Overall viết cho thật dài
Trang 26Summarize the information and predict the outline of campus by 2020.
Bài 1:
The maps illustrate the changes about college campus after its construction during the perbetween 1978 and 2020
At first glance, it is clear that the trees, the study area and the sport field still remained from
1978 and 2010 In 2020, the area is expected to be empty
Between 1978 and 2010, in the south corner of the college campus, the
make a way for IT center, while the block consists theater and music center were replaced by science building In the southwest of the campus, there was an appearance of new road linking
to both IT center and library, and the music
northeast of the library In the north of the area, the car park was extended, while all the trees were planted more
In 2020, it is predicted that the college campus is shortened and completely demolished
The maps illustrate the changes
đổi là how the campus has developed
period mới đúng) (tách thằng dự
WEEK WEEK4 4 4
Summarize the information and predict the outline of campus by 2020
The maps illustrate the changes about college campus after its construction during the per
At first glance, it is clear that the trees, the study area and the sport field still remained from
1978 and 2010 In 2020, the area is expected to be empty
in the south corner of the college campus, the library was narrowed to make a way for IT center, while the block consists theater and music center were replaced by science building In the southwest of the campus, there was an appearance of new road linking
to both IT center and library, and the music center as well as XXX building moved to the northeast of the library In the north of the area, the car park was extended, while all the trees
In 2020, it is predicted that the college campus is shortened and completely demolished
aps illustrate the changes about (to the) college campus after its construction
how the campus has developed) during the period between 1978 and 2020
ằng dự đoán cho 2020 ra)
The maps illustrate the changes about college campus after its construction during the period
At first glance, it is clear that the trees, the study area and the sport field still remained from
library was narrowed to make a way for IT center, while the block consists theater and music center were replaced by science building In the southwest of the campus, there was an appearance of new road linking
center as well as XXX building moved to the northeast of the library In the north of the area, the car park was extended, while all the trees
In 2020, it is predicted that the college campus is shortened and completely demolished
college campus after its construction (có lẽ nên the period between 1978 and 2020 (over the
Trang 27FED - Boost Your IELTS Score
At first glance (mình trung thành
với overall/ in conclusion), it is clear that the
trees, the study area and the sport field still
remainedfrom 1978 and 2010
area is expected to be empty (2)
Between 1978 and 2010, in the south corner
of the college campus (to the … of …
library was narrowed to make a way for IT
center (mình nghĩ nét đứt tức là ch
đâu, kiểu như mới chia lại khu cũ thành 2
phòng nhưng vẫn chưa có
đường), while (cần tách ra) (lúc nãy là
hướng A, giờ là move về đâu đó như
center rồi miêu tả tiếp) the
block consists (diễn đạt) theater and music
center were replaced by science building In the southwest of the campus, there was an
appearance of new road linking to both IT center and library
nhỉ sao quay lại làm gì), and the music center as well as XXX building moved to the northeast
of the library In the north of the area, the car park
planted more (diễn đạt) (3) (4)
In 2020, it is predicted that the college campus
and completely demolished
Important notes:
(1) sẽ khó mà nói là from … to …
cái mới after the 32-year period
(2) có lẽ là có con đường mới dẫn
bằng while
(3) Nhiều cụm chỉ hướng quá nhỉ?
- There were…
- X had been…
- A new building had…
(4) Chỗ car park nên là
hoặc chung một phần với
(mình trung thành
, it is clear that the
nd the sport field still
(1) In 2020, the (2)
in the south corner
to the … of …), the library was narrowed to make a way for IT
ứt tức là chưa có
ới chia lại khu cũ thành 2
ần tách ra) (lúc nãy là
đâu đó như the
theater and music
by science building In the southwest of the campus, there was an appearance of new road linking to both IT center and library (khu nào dứt đi
, and the music center as well as XXX building moved to the northeast
he library In the north of the area, the car park was extended, while all the trees were
(3) (4)
In 2020, it is predicted that the college campus is (nên là would be vì chưa x
from … to … có cái gì không thay đổi, thay vào year period
ờng mới dẫn đến IT Center Và nên nối luôn 2 câu lại
ớng quá nhỉ?
A new building had…
nên là it was extended to the north, có thể nói thêm là gấp mấy lần
ặc chung một phần với 2 new buildings
23
by science building In the southwest of the campus, there was an
điểm khu đấy chứ , and the music center as well as XXX building moved to the northeast
while all the trees were
ưa xảy ra) shortened
ổi, thay vào đó nói về những
ến IT Center Và nên nối luôn 2 câu lại
ể nói thêm là gấp mấy lần
Trang 28Bài 2:
The two maps indicate the same campus at a university One is 1978 and second one is after the construction of facilities completely
Looking at the first map in 1978, we can see that there is a huge road conecting to the car
parking and both the theater and music center in the right hand and at the top left hand of the map is sport field The library ,which located oppositely with study area , is to the left of the map below the road
Moving on the second map after having a construction, we can see the parking area was
extended and exactly beside is the mucsic center standing along with xxx building which is romoved for theatre center Instead of music and theater center in 1978 a sience building was built One more thing should be noted that alongside of the library there is an IT center was built and a small street is created to connect with the main road The study area and sport field most likely still retain before the construction
The brief forecast in 2020 is that a path should be made to lead to the among of the buildings such as from the study area to the library
Overall, comparing two maps , there are lots of significant changes making more convenience for students and teachers study and work at the university
The two maps indicate the same campus at a university One is 1978 and second one is after the construction of facilities completely (1)
Looking at the first map in 1978, we can see that there is a huge road conecting to the car parking (bổ sung thông tin và dừng câu này ở đây) and both the theater and music center in the right hand and at the top left hand of the map is sport field (để chỉ hướng thì nên dùng cái cụm To the South gì đó) The library ,which located oppositely with study area , is to the left of the map below the road (nên miêu tả về sự thay đổi thay vì liệt kê)
Moving on the second map after having a construction, (sao không nói sau bao nhiêu năm thì
có những thay đổi lớn như thế này như thế kia, lặp lại y chang đoạn trên) we can see the parking area was extended and exactly beside is the mucsic center standing along with xxx building which is romoved for theatre center (thế này là quá tham cho 1 câu) Instead of music and theater center in 1978 a sience building was (nhấn mạnh) built One more thing should be noted that alongside of the library there is an IT center was built and a small street is created to connect with the main road (câu này cũng bị thừa mứa ý) The study area and sport field most likely still retain before the construction
Trang 29FED - Boost Your IELTS Score
The brief forecast in 2020 is that a path should
be made to lead to the among of the buildings
such as from the study area to the library
này là phỏng đoán nên dùng
khỏi such as vì rất chi tiết)
Overall, comparing two maps , there are
significant changes making more convenience
for students and teachers study and work at
chỉ cần 1 câu bản ghi thành 2 câu, có thể sửa thành
(2) nên đẩy lên ngay sau Mở Bài và l
hình Như của bạn nói về lợi ích gì
The brief forecast in 2020 is that a path should
be made to lead to the among of the buildings
such as from the study area to the library (cái
đoán nên dùng would và
wo maps , there are lots of significant changes making more convenience
study and work at
ẩn Mở Bài đặc biệt
ề từ dùng cũng như mức độ ngắn
ộ bao quát Ví dụ đơn giản là
ỉ cần 1 câu bản ghi thành 2 câu, có thể sửa thành in 3 years đâu có sao
ẩy lên ngay sau Mở Bài và lưu ý rằng không nêu những gì không có trong
ủa bạn nói về lợi ích gì đó là lạc đề
25
đâu có sao
ằng không nêu những gì không có trong
Hồ Quang Trung
Trang 30Bài 3:
The two given maps present the improvements in the school campus 32 years apart: from 1978
to 2010 Overall, many changes had been made, as new building was built and old building was upgraded, though plenty of trees remain in the campus’s vicinity
From 1978 to 2010, the car park at the north
times it’s former size The buildings near the car park remain in their place, but theater center was made bigger, and was re-
lead to the new sciece building, lying next to them to the west
Some improvement was made at the south of the campus as well In 2010, the library share it’s building the IT centre A new path is being built to connect this facility to the r
left corner Only the study area remain the same
In 2020, it is very likely that a new study area will be constructed, and the path leading to the IT centre will be completed
The two given maps present the improvements
in the a school campus 32 years apart: from
1978 to 2010 (1 là thiếu, 2 là mình nghĩ nên
viết theo đúng kiểu after a 32
from… to… and suggestions hay gì
2020) Overall, many changes had been made,
as new building was built and old building
was (có 1 cái mới, 1 cái cũ hay sao mà
dùng was, nếu chỉ có 1 thì cần nói rõ)
upgraded, though plenty of trees remain in the
campus’s vicinity (chi tiết này h
From 1978 to 2010 (phải nêu chính xác là
sau 2010 chứ), the car park at the north
corner of the area was enlarged, about three
times it’s its (dùng initial chắc
hơn) former size The buildings near the car park remain
their place, but (có cần a/ an/ the
and was re-purposed (sửa với mục
given maps present the improvements in the school campus 32 years apart: from 1978
to 2010 Overall, many changes had been made, as new building was built and old building was upgraded, though plenty of trees remain in the campus’s vicinity
10, the car park at the north-east corner of the area was enlarged, about three times it’s former size The buildings near the car park remain in their place, but theater center
-purposed as xxx building The path leading these flead to the new sciece building, lying next to them to the west
Some improvement was made at the south of the campus as well In 2010, the library share it’s building the IT centre A new path is being built to connect this facility to the r
left corner Only the study area remain the same
In 2020, it is very likely that a new study area will be constructed, and the path leading to the IT
The two given maps present the improvements
32 years apart: from
ếu, 2 là mình nghĩ nên after a 32-year period
hay gì đó cho Overall, many changes had been made,
as new building was built and old building
ới, 1 cái cũ hay sao mà
ếu chỉ có 1 thì cần nói rõ)
upgraded, though plenty of trees remain in the
ết này hơi linh tinh)
ải nêu chính xác là , the car park at the north-east the area was enlarged, about three
ắc ăn điểm former size The buildings near the car park remain (bạn định dùng thời gì ở
a/ an/ the hay là nêu tên) theater center was made bigger
ửa với mục đích làm gì) as xxx building The path leading
given maps present the improvements in the school campus 32 years apart: from 1978
to 2010 Overall, many changes had been made, as new building was built and old building was
east corner of the area was enlarged, about three times it’s former size The buildings near the car park remain in their place, but theater center
purposed as xxx building The path leading these facilities now
Some improvement was made at the south of the campus as well In 2010, the library share it’s building the IT centre A new path is being built to connect this facility to the road at the upper-
In 2020, it is very likely that a new study area will be constructed, and the path leading to the IT
ịnh dùng thời gì ở đây) in was made bigger (diễn đạt), The path leading to these
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facilities now lead (rất hay chia s/ es tùm lum) (đã nói về QK chưa mà đã dùng HT) to the new sciece building, lying next to them to the west
Some improvement was (không nói chung chung) made at the south of the campus as well In
2010, the library share it’s building the IT centre (câu này vừa cụt vừa chả có ý nghĩa gì) A new path is being built to connect this facility (lặp) to the road at the upper-left corner Only the study area remain (không tôn trọng chuyện chia Động Từ kiểu gì cũng chỉ loanh quanh 5.0-5.5) the same
In 2020, it is very likely that a new study area will be constructed, and the path leading to the IT centre will be completed
Important Notes:
Đoạn 3 là đoạn lởm khởm nhất còn các Đoạn 2, 4 khá ổn
Điểm trừ siêu nặng là lặp từ (thể hiện vốn từ yếu ớt) và chia động từ linh tinh
Hồ Quang Trung
Trang 32Bài 4:
The two drawings illustrate the growth of a campus of college between 1978 a
predict the outline of campus in 2020
Overall, it is clear that the campus grews as the car park was extended and some buildings were erected Over the period shown, the number of trees which covered the campus increased significantly
Over these 32 years, to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a small road was built to lead from main road to science building While theater building was replace by xxx building, there was not any change at the study area
students go this college to study to lead car park which is near the xxx building and muzic center was extended by three time To the southwest of campus, It center was opened by the way make the library was narrowed
By 2020, it is predict that buildings were demolished and tress was chopped down to lead the campus was disappeared The college would have plan to build a new campus
The two drawings illustrate the
là changes thì đổi lại Động Từ nhé)
campus of college (dùng
campus thôi nhé, như đề bài ấy)
1978 and 2010 and predict the outline of
campus in 2020 (muốn sửa cụm này quá mà
đang phân vân chưa biết sao, chỉ nói
giản là mình thấy chưa ổn)
Overall, it is clear that the campus
cực kì nặng) as the car park was extended and
some buildings were erected Over the period
shown, the number of trees which covered the
campus increased significantly
lớn chứ cây cỏ nói làm gì)
Over these 32 years (cụm
period ổn), to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a small road was built to lead (st) from the
theater building was replace by xxx building,
đạt chưa tốt) Because more and more students go this college to study to lead car park which
The two drawings illustrate the growth of a campus of college between 1978 a
predict the outline of campus in 2020
Overall, it is clear that the campus grews as the car park was extended and some buildings were erected Over the period shown, the number of trees which covered the campus increased
ese 32 years, to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a small road was built to lead from main road to science building While theater building was replace by xxx building, there was not any change at the study area Because
students go this college to study to lead car park which is near the xxx building and muzic center was extended by three time To the southwest of campus, It center was opened by the way make
hat buildings were demolished and tress was chopped down to lead the campus was disappeared The college would have plan to build a new campus
The two drawings illustrate the growth (nếu
ộng Từ nhé) of a (dùng a college
ề bài ấy) between predict the outline of
ốn sửa cụm này quá mà
ết sao, chỉ nói đơn
Overall, it is clear that the campus grews (lỗi
as the car park was extended and
some buildings were erected Over the period
shown, the number of trees which covered the
campus increased significantly (tưởng ý gì
ụm the 32-year , to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a small road
the main road to science (chống lặp bằng this/ the
g was replace by xxx building, there was not any change at the study areaBecause more and more students go this college to study to lead car park which
The two drawings illustrate the growth of a campus of college between 1978 and 2010 and
Overall, it is clear that the campus grews as the car park was extended and some buildings were erected Over the period shown, the number of trees which covered the campus increased
ese 32 years, to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a small road was built to lead from main road to science building While theater building was
Because more and more students go this college to study to lead car park which is near the xxx building and muzic center was extended by three time To the southwest of campus, It center was opened by the way make
hat buildings were demolished and tress was chopped down to lead the campus was disappeared The college would have plan to build a new campus
, to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a small road
this/ the) building While there was not any change at the study area (diễn Because more and more students go this college to study to lead car park which
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is near the xxx building and muzic center was extended by three time To the southwest of campus, It center was opened by the way make the library was narrowed (ý có vẻ ổn nhưng cách viết, nhất là về độ clear là rất kém, mình chưa nhận xét trình độ Ngữ pháp)
By 2020, it is predicted that buildings were demolished and tress was (với mấy lỗi cơ bản lặp mấy lần như thế này sẽ không bao giờ quá 5.0) chopped down to lead the campus was disappeared The college would have plan to build a new campus (thừa)
Important Notes:
Bạn cần học kỹ hơn về Task 1 rồi mới nên gửi bài Còn rất nhiều vấn đề chứng tỏ bạn chưa học Task 1 cẩn thận Bọn mình chỉ nhận chữa cho các bạn đã có chút nền tảng để không mắc quá nhiều lỗi sơ đẳng
Hồ Quang Trung
Trang 34Bài 5:
The provided maps illustrate the differences between the situations of a college campus
and 2010 caused by several reconstruction of some facilities
As can be seen from the first chart, in 1978, a sport field was built in the southwest of the campus, besides the road Located in the middle of the campus is the combination of theatrecentre and music centre adjoining a small car park All of those facilities were linked to the road via the two small paths Besides, a library and a study area were also set in northwest and northeast of campus respectively
In terms of the second map, it shows that there were various changes occurred in this campus after 32 years At first, it is obvious that the sport field was developed to the outdoor sports fields The theatre centre was replaced by the building named XXX and the car park next to it was also expanded about three times larger to the northeast It can also be seen that two
of library’s area was reconstructed to be an IT centre and a path connecting this facility to the road was also planned to be built In addition, a new science b
road was also constructed on the left of music centre Some new trees were planted near those facilities as well
Overall, after 32 years, there are many replacements and expansions occurred in the campus, leading to the great change in this area However, in 2020, this campus is predicted to be demolished after several years of being used and
developed
The provided maps illustrate the
between the situations (sự thay
(between làm gì khi đã có 3 n
đồ) of a college campus in 1978 and 2010
by several reconstruction of some
facilities (thằng này thì thừa trong khi mấy cái
cần gợi ý cho 2020 thì lại không nói tới)
As can be seen from the first chart,
đủ thông tin), a sport field was built in the
southwest of the campus, beside
to cho chắc) the road Located in the middle of
the campus is the combination of theatre centre
The provided maps illustrate the differences between the situations of a college campus
and 2010 caused by several reconstruction of some facilities
As can be seen from the first chart, in 1978, a sport field was built in the southwest of the campus, besides the road Located in the middle of the campus is the combination of theatrecentre and music centre adjoining a small car park All of those facilities were linked to the road via the two small paths Besides, a library and a study area were also set in northwest and northeast of campus respectively
t shows that there were various changes occurred in this campus after 32 years At first, it is obvious that the sport field was developed to the outdoor sports fields The theatre centre was replaced by the building named XXX and the car park next to it
as also expanded about three times larger to the northeast It can also be seen that two
of library’s area was reconstructed to be an IT centre and a path connecting this facility to the road was also planned to be built In addition, a new science building with a linking path to the road was also constructed on the left of music centre Some new trees were planted near those
Overall, after 32 years, there are many replacements and expansions occurred in the campus,
great change in this area However, in 2020, this campus is predicted to be demolished after several years of being used and
The provided maps illustrate the differences
ự thay đổi chứ)
ã có 3 năm liền trong bản
of a college campus in 1978 and 2010 caused
by several reconstruction of some
ằng này thì thừa trong khi mấy cái
ần gợi ý cho 2020 thì lại không nói tới)
om the first chart, in 1978 (chưa , a sport field was built in the southwest of the campus, besides (dùng next
the road Located in the middle of
the campus is the combination of theatre centre
The provided maps illustrate the differences between the situations of a college campus in 1978
As can be seen from the first chart, in 1978, a sport field was built in the southwest of the campus, besides the road Located in the middle of the campus is the combination of theatre centre and music centre adjoining a small car park All of those facilities were linked to the road via the two small paths Besides, a library and a study area were also set in northwest and
t shows that there were various changes occurred in this campus after 32 years At first, it is obvious that the sport field was developed to the outdoor sports fields The theatre centre was replaced by the building named XXX and the car park next to it
as also expanded about three times larger to the northeast It can also be seen that two-third
of library’s area was reconstructed to be an IT centre and a path connecting this facility to the
uilding with a linking path to the road was also constructed on the left of music centre Some new trees were planted near those
Overall, after 32 years, there are many replacements and expansions occurred in the campus,
great change in this area However, in 2020, this campus is predicted to be
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and music centre adjoining a small car park (không biết Ngữ pháp như bạn dùng có ổn không, bạn có tham khảo nguồn nào thì chỉ cho mình) (nếu là mình thì sẽ viết Located in…,
X building is…) All of those facilities were linked to the road via the two small paths Besides, a library and a study area were also set in northwest and northeast (xem lại cách nói về hướng,
vị trí) of the campus respectively (không nghĩ kiểu respectively này ổn)
In terms of the second map (kết hợp chưa ổn), it shows that there were various changes occurred in this campus after 32 years (nói thế này thì đến 2020 nói thế nào) (có thể nói 2010 sees/ saw…) At first (mình nghĩ cần dùng Liên Từ khác), it is obvious that the sport field was developed to the outdoor sports fields (ở đây cần dùng là Nâng Cấp đúng hơn hoặc dùng cái A’ (thay thế) với nhưng từ kiểu thay thế, được mở rộng,…) The theatre centre was replaced by the building named XXX (dùng thẳng luôn là XXX Building) and the car park next
to it was also expanded about three times larger to the northeast It can also be seen that thirds of library’s area was reconstructed to be an IT centre and a path connecting this facility to the road was also planned to be built (chỗ này tách ra cho 2020) In addition, a new science building with a linking path to the road was also constructed on the left of (the) music centre Some new trees were planted near those facilities as well (mình nghĩ cây cối chỉ vẽ cho có thôi nên không nghĩ các chi tiết về cây ăn thua)
two-Overall, after 32 years, there are many replacements and expansions (chú ý số ít/ nhiều) occurred in the campus site, leading to the great change (various changes và không
có the) in this area However, in 2020, this campus is predicted to be demolished after several years of being used and developed
Important Notes:
Nhận xét riêng cho câu cuối:
1 là câu này đáng lý phải cho vào 1 đoạn dành riêng cho 2020) (overall không nói cái này được đâu
2 là mình nghĩ bạn hiểu nhầm đề và việc hủy khu vực này nghe rất trừu tượng)
Hồ Quang Trung
Trang 36Bài 6:
The diagrams illustrate some changes to the college campus which was developed for the building of installations between 1978 and 2010
It is clear that the college field was changed considerably with the construction of facilities and
4 new features can be seen in the secon
number of trees across a 42 – year
Look at the map in more detail from 1978 to 2010, while the area in the South East corner maintained unchanged, the sport field in the North West corner was replaced by th
sport fields While the car park in the North East corner was extended towards the North, the library in the South West corner was narrowed considerably and this place was added the information technology center
As well as the buildings mentione
building, whereas there was constructed the XXX building in the middle of college campus There was also a short road linking the outdoor sport fields with the science construction
In 2020, it is probably that a new Art center
region will be erected
The diagrams illustrate some
hơn tí cho ăn điểm) changes to
nhắc đến thì dùng a) college campus
was developed for the building of
installations (viết cụm này chả
gì, changes quá đủ rồi) between 1978 and
2010 (lỗi nặng, còn 2020 đâu?)
Overall, it is clear that the college field was
changed considerably with the construction
of facilities and 4 new features
bạn) can be seen in the second map, whereas
there were a remain steady in the number of
trees across a 42 – year (1, mình không ngh
cần nói về cây) (2, cách miêu tả có vẻ rất r
là 32 mới đúng)
rate some changes to the college campus which was developed for the building of installations between 1978 and 2010
It is clear that the college field was changed considerably with the construction of facilities and
4 new features can be seen in the second map, whereas there were a remain steady in the
As well as the buildings mentioned above, the theatre of operation replaced by the science building, whereas there was constructed the XXX building in the middle of college campus There was also a short road linking the outdoor sport fields with the science construction
robably that a new Art center
(dùng từ mạnh changes to the (lần đầu college campus which was developed for the building of
ết cụm này chả để làm
between 1978 and đâu?)
t is clear that the college field was
changed considerably with the construction
facilities and 4 new features (nói cụ thể đi
can be seen in the second map, whereas
a remain steady in the number of
(1, mình không nghĩ là
ần nói về cây) (2, cách miêu tả có vẻ rất rườm rà) (3, over a 42-year period
rate some changes to the college campus which was developed for the
It is clear that the college field was changed considerably with the construction of facilities and
d map, whereas there were a remain steady in the
Look at the map in more detail from 1978 to 2010, while the area in the South East corner maintained unchanged, the sport field in the North West corner was replaced by the outside sport fields While the car park in the North East corner was extended towards the North, the library in the South West corner was narrowed considerably and this place was added the
d above, the theatre of operation replaced by the science building, whereas there was constructed the XXX building in the middle of college campus There was also a short road linking the outdoor sport fields with the science construction
year period, mà hình như
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Look at the map in more detail from 1978 to 2010, while the area in the South East corner maintained unchanged, the sport field in the North West corner was replaced by the outside sport fields (3 chỗ gạch chân đâu có cùng Chủ Ngữ) (1) While the car park in the North East corner was extended towards the North, the library in the South West corner was narrowed considerably and this place was added the information technology center (Ý 3 khá thừa và nên tách ra thành câu) (mình luôn nghĩ 1 câu ghép 2 vế với nhau là chuẩn nhất chứ 3 vế thì quá nhiều)
As well as the buildings mentioned above (tìm cách khác để tiếp cận Đoạn 4), the theatre of operation (ý bạn là sao) was replaced by the science building, whereas there was constructed the XXX building(xem lại các câu trúc cơ bản SVO) in the middle of the college campus (cần
từ nối) There was also a short road linking the outdoor sport fields with the science construction
In 2020, it is probably that a new Art center region will be erected (ý road bên trên đáng lý là phải cho câu này)
Important Notes:
(1) Khi viết câu ghép/ phức/ mixed, bạn cần chú ý Chủ Ngữ thống nhất hoặc không cho các vế câu có mặt Lỗi này có thể khiến bạn bị mất điểm nghiêm trọng
Hồ Quang Trung
Trang 38During the period between 1978 and 2010, the study area and music centre remained
unchanged The library in the south w est corner was narrowed to make away for IT centre, while the car park became much larger to the north corner
The xxx building next to the car park appeared, while the theater centre was replaced by the science buiding To the west corn
Additionally, the campus had more green areas
To 2020, it is forecast that it would be narrowed and exist only places for study
the transformations (changes
college campus over a period of 42 years
from 1978 to 2020
Overall, it is clear from the maps
from 1978 to 2010 the campus
came (dùng từ thế này đây)
with far more places for supporting
study (nên nói cụ thể hơn chút)
During the period between 1978 and
2010 (xem lại cụm này vì cả 2
đều dùng 1978 và 2010) (thay v
đoạn 1), the study area and music centre
remained unchanged The library in the
south w est corner was narrowed to
away (make ways hay a way)
nhưng mình nghĩ cứ nói thẳng là
north corner
The xxx building next to the car park appeared
replaced by the science buiding
The maps illustrate the transformations of a college campus over a period of 42 y
overall, it is clear from the maps that from 1978 to 2010 the campus be came more modern with far more places for supporting study
During the period between 1978 and 2010, the study area and music centre remained
ary in the south w est corner was narrowed to make away for IT centre, while the car park became much larger to the north corner
The xxx building next to the car park appeared, while the theater centre was replaced by the science buiding To the west corner, the sport field was converted into outdoor sports field Additionally, the campus had more green areas
To 2020, it is forecast that it would be narrowed and exist only places for study
nhé) of a ege campus over a period of 42 years
from the maps (thừa) that from 1978 to 2010 the campus be
đây) more modern with far more places for supporting
ơn chút)
During the period between 1978 and
ại cụm này vì cả 2 đoạn bạn
ều dùng 1978 và 2010) (thay vì từng giai
, the study area and music centre
remained unchanged The library in the
south w est corner was narrowed to make
) for IT centre, while the car park became (bạn hay dùng
ứ nói thẳng là được cải tạo, nâng cấp, sửa chữa)
The xxx building next to the car park appeared (mốc thời gian), while the theater centre was replaced by the science buiding (có phải at the same time) To the west corner, the sport field
The maps illustrate the transformations of a college campus over a period of 42 years from
overall, it is clear from the maps that from 1978 to 2010 the campus be came more modern with
During the period between 1978 and 2010, the study area and music centre remained
ary in the south w est corner was narrowed to make away for IT centre,
The xxx building next to the car park appeared, while the theater centre was replaced by the
er, the sport field was converted into outdoor sports field
To 2020, it is forecast that it would be narrowed and exist only places for study
ạn hay dùng become much larger to the
, while the theater centre was To the west corner, the sport field
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was converted into outdoor sports field Additionally, the campus had more green areas (mình không đồng ý lắm với vụ cây)
To 2020, it is forecast that it would be narrowed and exist only places for study (chỗ gạch nối
là sẽ xây thêm) (xem lại cách miêu tả dự đoán của Simon)
Hồ Quang Trung
Trang 40It is expected that in 2020, the whole land of campus will be enlarged and it should be upgraded
to meet many other demands of students such as a laboratory, a canteen and a heath care center
The maps illustrate the infrastructure arrangement of college campus in 1978 and essential changes made to that setting by 2010
–> câu đầu tiên vừa rối vừa dài dòng Bạn chỉ cần paraphrase lại câu đề bài trên thôi Theo mình bạn nên sửa như sau:
The two diagrams illustrate the infrastructural changes to a college campus over the period from 1978 to 2010
In 2010 (thế này sao thể hiện được sự so sánh giữa 2010 và năm 1978?), the facility
organization basically remained the same except for a few extensions and
new constructions(đây là uncountable noun nhé, bạn nên thay bằg từ buildings)
==> Overall/ In general, the facility……….new buildings during 32 years
Dù sửa rôi mình vẫn thấy không ổn Bạn đọc đề bài không kĩ chăng? người ta cho đề bài đã có hàm ý muốn bạn cho số liệu chứng minh sự thay đổi và phát triển qua những năm qua mà! Mình nghĩ bạn nên xem lại
One of the most noticeable renewals was the car park which nearly tripled in size compared with that in 1978
–>Câu này lủng củng quá Nên sửa thành
One of the most noticeable renewals was that the car park in 2010 nearly tripled in size compared with that in 1978