outlinging essay 3 docx

Children might be happy with the school uniform policy, but not as happy as their teachers and prin-cipals.. Because there is less competition in school, teachers and administrators repo

There could be a comma after Instead at the

beginning of the fifth sentence This comma may not

be necessary in some circumstances, but you are

changing the flow of thought here, and you want the

readers to know it

Instead, you feel a sense of belonging.

The sixth sentence contains a compound

sen-tence that should be set off with a comma The last

sentence could also use a comma to separate a long

clause from the main sentence, particularly since you

are once again switching gears Lastly, don’t let the fact

that you’re almost done make you forget to put a

period at the end of the last sentence

You are less distractd by cumparing your clothes to

others, so you are more apd to be relaxed and

queiter in school This enables them to learn more

Children might be happy with the school uniform

policy, but not as happy as their teachers and

prin-cipals.

Identity Disorder

Keep the same person throughout the essay: I and me

or you, or they and them It is all right to address the

reader with a question, but the facts and statements

should match each other In the paragraph below, the

subject of the first and third sentences is “children.”

You need to continue to talk about children in the

third person throughout the paragraph

Not only are parents happy to see a uniform policy

in place, but their children benefit as well If you

were poor, wouldn’t you feel bad if you were not

dressed as well as your peers? Children who dress

differently are usually alienated from cliques at

school and left to feel like outsiders Often they are

teased unmercifully Dressing in uniform eliminates

that problem Instead, they feel a sense of belonging They are less distractd by cumparing their clothes to others, so they are more apd to be relaxed and queiter in school

The second sentence is not talking about

chil-dren, but is addressing the reader, so it’s OK to use you and your The last two sentences talk about children,

not about the reader, so those sentences should use

they and their, not you and your.

Spelling Abnormality Disorder

You have to write quickly during the exam, but save a couple of minutes at the end to check your work for spelling errors Often our minds go faster than our pencils, and left alone, our pencils make a lot of mis-takes Too bad there are no perfect pencils in this world! Did you find the misspelled words in the sec-ond body paragraph on school uniforms?

They are less distractd by cumparing their clothes to others so they are more apd to be relaxed and queiter in school

Let’s fix it:

They are less distracted by comparing their clothes

to others so they are more apt to be relaxed and

quieter in school.

Forked Tongue Disease

Be on the lookout for words or even sentences that might have two different meanings Now that we’ve fixed the spelling errors in the sentence above, look again to see how it might be confusing Does the sen-tence mean that comparing their clothes is less dis-tracting? And what are they comparing their clothes to? To other people? There are too many meanings for this sentence It needs to be revised

Children do not need to compare their clothing

with that of others, so they have fewer distractions.

Less than Insufficient

Mistreatment

Remember to use problem words correctly Avoid

dou-ble negatives If you must use them, make sure you are

saying what you really mean If you have time, you can

brush up on other problem words such as lay and lie,

all together and altogether, and so on Discussions

on these topics can be found in grammar books

listed at the end of this chapter Check the problem

words in the following sentences from the third body

paragraph

There is less competition in school so there is less

fights The reason is because there is less bullying

and teasing and there is a lot less complaints.

The word fewer refers to a quantity that can be

counted

There are fewer boys in the class

There are fewer mistakes in this paragraph than in

the last one

“Less” refers to a quantity that cannot be

counted, but might be able to be measured

There is less water in that cup now that you drank

from it

In the sentence above, competition cannot be

counted, so less is the right word But the number of

fights can be counted, so fewer should replace less In

the second sentence, the bullying and teasing in

gen-eral are hard to count, so less is the right word If the

sentence was worded to read “incidences of teasing,”

then fewer would be used because incidences can be

counted Complaints can be counted so fewer should

be used Fewer takes the verb are and less takes the verb is.

You can also get rid of the redundant “The rea-son is because.” Maybe you can show off some paral-lelism here And why not name the actors in this sentence?

Because there is less competition in school, teachers and administrators report that there are fewer fights, less bullying, and fewer complaints from the

students.

Tense All Over

Unless there is a very good reason for doing otherwise, the same tense should be used throughout your essay You may use perfect tenses when appropriate, but try

to avoid using future, past, and present in one para-graph See whether you can find the tense mistakes in the following paragraph

Uniforms cost no extra money for teachers and administrators yet the benefits are great Because there is less competition in school, teachers and administrators report that there are fewer fights, less bullying, and fewer complaints from the students Instead, principals and teachers were able to use uniforms to build school pride and loyalty Admin-istrators and teachers will be able to concentrate on what they love to do most, teach, instead of dealing

with problems from children and parents.

The first part of the paragraph is in present tense

The past tense verb were able in the third sentence should be changed to the present are able In the last sentence, the future tense will be able should be also be changed to the present are able.

Instead, principals and teachers are able to use

uni-forms to build school pride and loyalty

Adminis-trators and teachers are able to concentrate on what

they love to do most, teach, instead of dealing with

problems from children and parents

Sewing It Up

Notice how the few remaining problems with

transi-tions have been cleaned up in this final version of the

essay on school uniforms The body paragraph on

teachers and administrators ended with too strong a

statement—no one will believe that school personnel

will have no problems from children just because of

uniforms—so that statement has been softened This

final version also has a title

In Praise of School Uniforms

Imagine a school auditorium full of alert children,

all dressed neatly in blue and white uniforms,

recit-ing the Pledge of Allegiance Imagine these same

children happily running out to play in their blue

shorts and white oxford shirts, playing tag and

fly-ing on swfly-ings Whether or not to dress public

school children alike has been the subject of much

controversy in recent decades Opponents suggest

that requiring uniforms will stifle children’s ability

to choose, squash necessary individuality, and

infringe on the rights of children and families

Although there is some justification for these

argu-ments, the benefits of uniforms far outweigh the

disadvantages Adopting a uniform policy will

ben-efit parents, children, and the school staff

A uniform policy will benefit parents Uniforms

save parents money Parents will not have to provide

their children with a different matched set of clothes

for each day, so fewer school clothes would be

needed Because uniforms are all the same style and

shape and usually very well made, they can be

passed down from an older child to a younger one,

or even sold On a recent survey, parents new to school uniforms estimated they saved up to $1,000

on school clothes per child the first year alone The survey also reported that 95% of parents attributed

an increased feeling of peace to the adoption of the uniform policy Children will have already agreed

on what clothes their parents will need to buy, so there will be fewer arguments on this often touchy subject

Not only are parents happy to see a uniform pol-icy in place, but their children benefit as well If you were poor, wouldn’t you feel badly if you were not dressed as well as your peers? Children who dress differently are usually alienated from cliques at school and left to feel like outsiders Often they are teased unmercifully Dressing in uniform eliminates that problem Instead, uniformed children feel an increased sense of belonging that enables them to be more relaxed and quieter in school Children do not need to compare their clothing with that of others,

so they have fewer distractions during their learning time Children like the policy because there is less nagging at home and dressing for school is much easier

Parents and children are not the only ones who are better off with school uniforms Teachers and administrators love them too Uniforms cost no extra money, yet the benefits are great Because there is less competition in school, teachers and administrators report that less time is spent medi-ating because there are fewer fights, less bullying, and fewer complaints from students Administra-tors and teachers can use the time they save to do what they are paid to do—build school loyalty, form young minds, and teach basic skills Teachers report a more peaceful classroom, and administra-tors report a more cooperative student body Adopting a uniform policy will lighten the bur-den of parents It will promote cheerfulness and

scholarship in children Lastly, it will free the time

and talents of teachers and administrators What are

we waiting for? We need to talk to our teachers,

principals, and school boards, and give our children

ALL the tools we can that will enhance their growth

and development

 M o r e H e l p w i t h R e a d i n g, M a t h ,

a n d W r i t i n g

If any or all of the three subjects covered in the

mini-course are especially tough for you, you may want to

consider doing some further reading Following is a list

of particularly useful books for preparing for the skills

tested on CBEST

Reading

■ 501 Reading Comprehension Questions

(LearningExpress)

Fast, focused practice to help you improve your

skills

■ Read Better, Remember More by Elizabeth Chesla

(LearningExpress)

A self-study book that helps you learn at your

own pace, with varied exercises that make

learn-ing easy

■ Reading Comprehension Success in 20 Minutes a

Day by Elizabeth Chesla (LearningExpress)

A 20-step book that covers all the basics of

read-ing well; especially useful for those preparread-ing for

exams like the CBEST

■ Reading Success (LearningExpress)

Learn to understand everything you

read—dis-cover the meaning of new words, find the main

idea, predict what will happen next, and much

more!

■ 10 Real SATs by Cathy Claman (Editor) (College

Board)

Provides great test-taking tips as well as practice questions and answers

■ Visual Communication by Ned Racine

(LearningExpress) Visual literacy is a growing area of assessment on standardized tests—find out here how to read maps, charts, diagrams, and schematics Learn how to use and make use of visual communica-tion!

Book List

The best way to improve your reading skills is to read

as often as you can Here is a list of well-known books that may interest you:

Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt (Autobiography) Black Boy by Richard Wright (Autobiography) The Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger (Coming of

Age)

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

(Horror)

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (Science Fiction) Hiroshima by John Hershey (War)

The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien (Fantasy) Jurassic Park, The Lost World by Michael Crichton

(Science Fiction)

The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper

(Historical)

The Lives of a Cell by Lewis Thomas (Science/Medicine) Moonlight Becomes You and other novels by Mary

Higgins Clark (Detective)

Schindler’s List by Thomas Keneally (Historical)

A Separate Peace by John Knowles (Coming of Age) The Stand and other novels by Stephen King

(Horror)

A Time to Kill, The Client by John Grisham (Thriller)

■ Algebra the Easy Way, 3rd ed by Douglas

Down-ing (Barron’s)

Covers all the basics of algebra; uses a continuous

story to help make learning fun

■ Algebra Success (LearningExpress)

Equations, inequalities, powers, and roots—

master algebra now!

■ All the Math You’ll Ever Need by Steve Slavin

(Wiley)

A friendly guide for those seeking to brush up on

mathematics and elementary algebra

■ Essential Math/Basic Math for Everyday Use by

Edward Williams and Robert A Atkins (Barron’s)

Emphasizes math applications in selected career

areas

■ Everyday Math for Dummies by Charles Seiter

(IDG)

Like other books in the For Dummies series, this

one features a fun presentation that will help you

conquer math anxiety

■ Geometry Success (LearningExpress)

■ Math Builder (LearningExpress)

■ Math the Easy Way, 3rd ed by Anthony Prindle

and Katie Prindle (Barron’s)

Covers basic arithmetic, fractions, decimals,

per-cents, word problems, and introduces algebra

and geometry

■ Math Essentials by Steve Slavin (LearningExpress)

If you have trouble with fractions, decimals, or

percents, this book offers an easy, step-by-step

review

■ Math Smart: Essential Math for These Numeric

Times (Princeton Review)

Covers all the basics of math using practice

exer-cises with answers and explanations; good for

studying math for the first time, or for review

■ Math Success (LearningExpress)

■ Mathematics Made Simple by Abraham Sperling

and Monroe Stuart (Doubleday) Targets students and others who want to improve their practical math skills

■ 1001 Math Problems (LearningExpress)

Fast, focused practice to help you improve your math skills!

■ Practical Math Success in 20 Minutes a Day by

Judith Robinovitz (LearningExpress) Provides review of basic math skills and easy-to-follow examples with opportunities for practice

■ Visual Math by Jessika Sobanski

(LearningExpress) Specifically designed for the visual learner, this book explores shapes from many different per-spectives See how math makes sense!

■ 501 Algebra Questions (LearningExpress)

Covers basic to advanced algebra skills

■ 501 Geometry Questions (LearningExpress)

Focused practice helps refine geometry skills

Writing

■ 1001 Pitfalls in English Grammar (Barron’s)

Problem-solving approach to writing and gram-mar; very useful for nonnative speakers of Eng-lish

■ Better English by Norman Lewis (Dell)

Useful for general information; suited to both native and nonnative speakers of English

■ Better Writing Right Now! by Francine Galko

(LearningExpress) Know the benchmarks that professionals use— learn how to make words work for you!

■ Grammar Essentials by Judith Olson

(Learning-Express) Gives a thorough review of all the rules of basic grammar; lots of exercises and examples make for a painless, and even fun, learning experience

■ English Made Simple by Arthur Waldhorn and

Arthur Ziegler (Made Simple Books)

Designed for nonnative speakers of English; also

good for native speakers with little training in

grammar

■ Errors in English and How to Correct Them by

Harry Shaw (HarperCollins)

Addresses specific problems in both writing and

grammar; useful for nonnative speakers of

Eng-lish

■ 501 Grammar and Writing Questions

(Learning-Express)

Learn how to spot common grammar mistakes;

compose correct sentences; organize clear,

con-cise paragraphs; and much more!

■ Grammar by James R Hurford (Cambridge

University Press)

Thorough coverage of parts of speech, sentence

structure, usage, punctuation, and mechanics;

especially good for native speakers of English

■ The Handbook of Good English by Edward D.

Johnson (Washington Square Press)

Well-organized, comprehensive handbook for both grammar and writing

■ Smart English by Anne Francis (Signet)

Thorough general-purpose handbook for both writing and grammar; good for nonnative speak-ers of English

■ Write Better Essays by Elizabaeth Chesla

(Learning-Express) Your guide to top test scores, this book teaches the mechanics of good essay writing It’s like hav-ing a personal tutor!

■ Writing Skills Success in 20 Minutes a Day by

Judith Olson (LearningExpress) Covers all the basics of writing through step-by-step instruction and exercises; especially useful for those preparing for exams such as CBEST

■ Writing Smart by Marcia Lerner (Princeton

Review) Good for general writing skills; well-organized so information is easy to find

■ Writing Success (LearningExpress)