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Trang 1Youth Sanity In Crazy Culture
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Table of Contents
Welcome Note
Trang 2The Backdrop
First Thing First
The Genesis Of Trouble
Understand The Drives Of Humanity
Mechanism Of Sexuality
Aesthetics Of Life-Living Purpose
Accept My Gratitude
About The Author
Other Titles By The Author
I am perfectly sure, I am talking to a genius young friend, who has it all to understand everything that is there to be understood for a „truly successful‟ life and living, which is undoubtedly the most amazing realism for all of us
I am only too happy to say that this I intend to be a hearty and open talk between you, a young mind and me The entire exercise is aimed at being in confabulation with young ones, with whom I wish to share something, which is such a powerful impact on our lives Yes, we are talking about youth issues of sexual synergies, sensual symmetries & sanity and mystically beautiful aesthetics and purpose of life Essentially, the talk is addressed to you, my amazingly talented young friend; however, if a parent happens to read it, I have a humble and
Trang 3compassionate appeal that you should place yourself in a consc iousness of a young mind This shall make better sense of this exercise
At the very outset, I wish to say a small thing to you I am sure; you must have realized that the world we live is what it is, neither good nor bad It is somehow neutral and objective It is
people, the individual as you and we, who are the „Theatre‟ of all troubles as well as happiness
It is in our individualistic consciousness and perception that we accept something as „trouble‟ and others as „happiness‟ This leads us to a fact that whatever we are provided with, inside us or outside in the society; are essentially neutral It is our subjective and personal positioning with these endowments, which make us accept them as either „treasure‟ or „trouble‟
The same energy, which runs a car for us, can cause major fire, devastating everything The life
we have, the senses and its complex interplay we witness in our lives, are such beautifully neutral and objective energies Whether we wish to use this energy for running the „car of our lives‟ or burning our lives, is purely in the hands of an individual – you and we
That is why; my dear young friend; I wish to tell you that in all the talks we are having, we shall focus on things and ideas, which are inside us and internal to our perceptions The external factors shall always be there as they are for everyone However, what impact and effect they have on us and our lives are what we shall allow them to have on us, as we shall have a perfect understanding of things and ideas within us On this premise, we shall lead our talks I sincerely hope, together we arrive, where we wish to!
I affectionately request you to kindly accept me as your true friend A friend is not one who tells you what is right and what is wrong It is one, who is just a n effective “catalyst”, facilitating you
a series of learning and unlearning, by optimizing painful processes of „option-building‟ of living possibilities
life-That is why, at the very start, I humbly request you to be my friend and accept this all as one long conversation between friends Kindly, accept this not as a book but a „confabulation‟
between friends This, I am confident, shall engender smoothness of navigation and fruition of the entire exercise
Trang 4I need to say, we all live in a complex and conflicted world where almost everything is in for skepticism It would be even better if you use this energy of skepticism and doubt all that we shall talk here However, you should use your own resources to re-check their authenticity, utility and fruition One must not „reject‟ anything out rightly or show them a close door Doubt them, re-check them, correct them if you find them wrong but never „reject‟ them Being wise and intelligent is an artistry, which involves „acceptance and then assimilation‟ The genius you are, shall always process everything deep within, before making a decision on its utility or
futility
I chat up with you to share with you whatever is part of my consciousness All wisdoms say,
„what stays with you is what sinks in‟ Wisdom is what we internalize I share with you whatever
I have internalized in my life At the age of 46, I can say with innocence that getting old is such a beautiful and satisfying experience Getting old has probably pushed „me‟ close to the
„eligibility‟ of perhaps beginning to understand as what essentially is there to be understood! I feel truly blessed to share my consciousness with you
It is only natural that as a young person, you have a precarious and unsettled relationship with the cultural environment around you, landing you in unimaginable positions of corresponding unsettled behavior-action possibilities This qualifies you as the „trouble‟ of the popular culture,
as you are still not in good terms with all, which the popular culture and societal environment wants you to be in
Trang 5Globally, since ages, the young people have been labeled as „troubles‟ unto themselves, even while the sad reality is, the „trouble‟ is there in the „adjustment‟ of a „new entrant‟ of society, into a popular but ever changing „belief system‟ and „behavior-action-benchmarks‟, which is culturally accepted as „appropriate‟ You, as a growing up person has to understand very clearly the „core‟ area of your trouble with this „appropriate-benchmarks‟ and also, why you are often labeled by your parents and society in general as „trouble‟ vis-à-vis these benchmarking
requirements We shall talk about it in detail, so that you have the correct and fruitful diagnosis and understanding of the „genesis and genetics of the trouble‟
The contemporary concerns of society and culture with you as a youth are broadly in three areas – alcoholism & drugs, sexual sanity and irritable aggression In all developed societies and culture, especially in western societies, there is a consensus that these issues need to be taken up very seriously as top youth troubles and there must be a mechanism in place to educate the youth about them However, there is still a debate on what should be the ideal mechanism Naturally, as they all experiment with different mechanisms, you as a youth shall be in more trouble, as what needs to be accepted and what not!
As it has been a practice, there shall always be designs and mechanisms, which the society shall devise for you and experiment them on you, hoping for them to be successful in abetting the trouble They come to you as „shoulds‟, a prescription or as „informed choices‟, which you shall
be expected to make The trouble is, you shall still be not sure, whether these „shoulds‟ or
informed choices are actually wisdom or troubles itself! There is reason for such thoughts We shall talk about it later
The fact remains that, you shall always doubt anything, which is either prescr ibed to you as „you should do it‟ or dished out to you as „information‟ to make „right choices‟ Both ways, the idea is prescriptive, comes as „expectations‟ that you must do them However, you shall seldom accept them as, firstly; you have doubts over their utility Secondly, it is always easy for you to decipher that all these „expectations‟ from you, have perceptible elements of „hypocrisy‟ and „conflicts of interests‟ You shall always ask loads of questions about their utility and purpose on you and shall seldom get answers as, most such expectations are actually huge hypocrisy
Trang 6It does not take a genius to see through it You see that you are asked to keep away from alcohol and drugs, whereas, everywhere in society and popular culture, people young and old are deep down into it You are asked to keep away from sex but everywhere, everyone seems to be
indulging in it and in all spheres of life around you, all things have sexual overtones to it! You are told to be calm and cool in a societal space, where gun culture and rage is calamitously growing This hypocrisy is so open and clearly visible all around that it is impossible for you to accept the prescriptions against their utility as one huge futility!
There is an alternative mechanism too, which is also being practiced and prescribed This method understands and accepts that what is being told to the youngsters not to do, cannot be accepted
by them as they see almost everyone else doing it This alternative mode accepts the hypocrisy That is why; this mechanism says, „Do it but avoid accidents Get informed about possibilities of mishaps and stand geared up to do it safely‟ Naturally, the onus of sanity and safety is on you However, there still remains this element of hypocrisy in it The same people, who label you as
„troubled teens‟ or „wayward youth‟, are leaving the onus of practice of „appropriate‟ on you If I
am troubled and my trouble emanates out of my failure to discern between „right and wrong‟, how can I be left to be the „judge‟ of my own wellness? The belief is, „you do it right, when you have the right information and facts‟ This is one huge hypocritical proposition Why?
I am saying this to you with perfect belief that it is something, which you can understand and decipher on your own, whether I say it right or not The idea that if you are equipped with all right facts about a possible trouble, you shall be judging right and keep away from the „wrongs‟
of the thing That is why, they tell you how sex and drugs at your age can be devasta ting on your personality growth, how it can land you with dreaded diseases and other related troubles The fact is, you listen to and accept all these „right facts‟ Then again, you see that loads of grownups, educated ones and mature people around you are doing the same „wrong‟ things and mistakes You shall naturally question, “I am very young and nạve but all these people are grown ups and mature They must have knowledge about what they are making us understand Why then they still indulge in all these wrongs and inappropriate?” You cannot have answer, as the answer shall
be again full of hypocrisy
Trang 7So, is that there is no solution? No, there is a solution The solution is in knowledge of objective and neutral realities The solution is in „holism‟ and not in „parts‟ The trouble of all
mechanisms, which are offered to you as „educational or prescriptive‟ tools for eliciting
„appropriate‟ action-behavior benchmarks from you is; they are all only „part‟ facts and
knowledge You are shown only „half picture‟ of life-living realism as it is believed, you either cannot understand the „full picture‟ or it shall be dangerous or inappropriate to give you the whole picture
If science says, a kid is born as the genius of the universe, you can simply ask, why you are not wise and good enough to see and understand the whole picture! Your question is not outlandish The other thing is; can some knowledge be labeled as „inappropriate‟ for someone? It is said, you
as a youngster are „impressionable‟ minds and there has to be some „discretion‟ in what should
be handed over to you, at this tender and vulnerable age
The bizarre but beautifully amazing fact is – at one hand, you are being offered some knowledge and information, which in all societies across the globe consider as „adult‟ stuff, not amenable for the young impressionable minds On the other, there is a huge debate on what type of
information is „right and appropriate‟ for you to get The most bizarre fact remains that in a liberal and open society and culture you live, there is almost nothing, which does not touch your life and perception The all- invasive media, the pop culture leaves nothing as „sacrosanct and hidden‟ The fact is – you get all information, the difference can be, from which source you get
it Now, the debate can be, which source is „appropriate‟!
The simple idea as a solution is, what I sincerely believe, you can very well understand, as you are my genius friend Your genius is in something, which is labeled as „trouble‟ This hypocrisy
is one big thing, which keeps you away from your own wellness The genius in you is your natural, intrinsic and highly profitable „inquisitiveness‟ You have questions and all your
questions are valid and right as they emanate out of your innate mechanism This is your brilliant energy of personal growth and evolution as the new entrant in the society and culture
As we have talked earlier, this world around us is very objective and neutral The good or bad, the right or wrong is what plays inside the theatre of individual body- mind mechanism When you get to know of this entire mechanism and see the whole picture of life and living realisms
Trang 8and how one‟s own body-mind consciousness lands itself either on right or wrong side of it, you shall become the „masters of the mechanism‟ and not the „puppets of mechanism‟
We are friends now and we shall talk about all these things like true friends and shall together arrive at the complete picture of life- living realisms The issue at hand – the sanity and aesthetics
of life-living choices and purpose shall automatically be addressed, as we go through the larger picture You just have to be receptive and open to ideas
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First Thing First
Globally, youth is considered an unsettled and problematic period in a person‟s life As you are
in this same age of unsettled energy, you must first fully understand the mechanism of this trouble and unsettled energy If you are labeled as „troubled‟, you have all the rights to know, what the reason behind this nomenclature is This of course is the first primary step in the
process of seeing and understanding the whole and larger picture
It is not a rocket science or some hugely complicated idea, which you cannot understand This is simple and innocent positioning of mind, which you can attain as this facility is something you are born with All you need to do is understand the utility of the simple idea, we are about to talk This shall solve more than half the problem associated with you being labeled as „trouble‟ You already know it that adolescence years are termed as time space movement from innocence
to intelligence – from childhood to adulthood This is the first thing you have to accept about yourself You were in a beautiful and affectionate situation o f a kid, where it was a „love-all‟ position for you You were innocent and this means, you knew almost nothing about the society and culture you are born in There was actually no expectation from you as innocence, which is essentially a „knowing nothing‟ stupidity, was precisely your virtue Everyone loved this „small stupid‟, which you were just a few years back but no more!
You had to grow and you just cannot wish to stop this to happen Rather, you are just too happy
to grow As you start to grow, you cannot be left with your innocence You have to learn and the most important learning is; what the society and culture of your surrounding has in it Some of these learning shall be what you may like but most of the learning, you may not The teenage is
Trang 9the formative years for all humans on the planet and in this time in the life, you are moving from
„knowing nothing‟ to the cherished position of „knowing all‟ However, this is a long process and
it shall take over a decade You as a teenager are standing mid-way from both ends – the end of childhood, which you no more belong to and the other end of adulthood, where you have to reach but you have still not You are in an „unsettled‟ and „transitional‟ space and that is why, unsettled is the tag or label, which should not offend you Everyone goes through this phase
It is only quite natural that you as a teenager are marked by crises of cognitive identities,
individual benchmarks, social perceptions and role models The crises and trouble emanate out
of your unsettled „mid-positioning‟ You are neither a kid, nor an adult It is a mid-situation where, at times, you shall find yourself positioned more on the side of a kid and at other times, you shall be expected to behave as grown up
This dualism shall be taxing for you At times, you may wish to be more on the side of
childhood, whereas the parents or others may demand you to be more in tune with your
impending adulthood Or, at times you would wish yourself to be reckoned as adult, when others would confine you to childhood limits This surely shall be very unnerving for you You have to accept that this pain of dualism is because of your mid-positioning, which shall pass away in time
Youth are characterized by inquisitiveness, pepped up & restless energies, iconoclastic attitudes, experimentalism, non-conformist Epicureanism and gang behavior, etc That is why, young world over are treated with caution and dread at times They are perceived as people passing through the most turbulent time and space This is altogether a negative image and perception of youth You have to accept your precarious positioning in the journey of life and recognize, why this mid-positioning has so much negativity attached to it
Let us have a positive perception and believe that youth are people looking out for their space in the crowd of grown up people and their established worldview All of us have to accept it that it
is not very easy task for the young They need positive support from the grownups and the world they knock to enter We also need all possible resources of the elders to understand and explore the world they get the feel of first time As the youngsters get the first feel of all things, they react, and they react just because they have to, not because they are reactionary Reacting is not
Trang 10bad at all! It is part of the process of getting to terms with new realities around in the ambient culture and environments There is no need for grownups to be „reactive‟!
As a youth, you have to see and understand one small thing You are entering a world for the first time and as you do it, your best friend is something, which is within you This is your natural inquisitiveness However, be warned of the mood of this friend As you feel the world around you, it is only natural that you shall ask too many questions The questions are all
genuine as they are natural to you However, this world you have entered, already has a rule, custom and culture, which you have not made but still have to accept There can be rules for asking questions and there can be customs of having answers for them You may feel, you have questions and they need to be answered well This may not sometimes be possible
The simple thing to understand is, even if you do not get an answer or get an answer, which does not satisfy you, you cannot feel agitated or irritated about it There is no need for it You are the genius of the universe and you can very well understand this simple fact You sure can feel a bit sad and unhappy It is this aggression and out of place irritability, which is the trouble with you You just have to understand this Your label of a „trouble‟ thing is not in your natural
inquisitiveness, but in the approach to it If you successfully weed out the aggression and
impatient irritability out of your inquisitiveness, you are not a „trouble‟ but a „treasure‟ The simple fact is – you are always a treasure, as what makes you a treasure is your „internal‟ and natural inquisitiveness However, you turn into a trouble because of something, which you express „externally‟
My dear young friend, do kindly accept with open heart and mind that the issue of all synergies, symmetries and sanity of your personality, expected from you is something internally and
naturally available to you Your natural inquisitiveness has it all It is only the external
expression of „inappropriate‟ aggression and impatient irritability, which disturbs your natural synergies, symmetries and sanity Life‟s aesthetics is in the poise and proportion of your innate consciousness within and this poise needs to be expressed in calm, cool and composed action-behavior This wins everything for you You lose only when you lose your poise posturing Only few years back, you were in the age of innocence and then, everyone pampered you and happily provided you almost everything you wished your way However, the same people now
Trang 11expect you to be patient and accommodative, if you do not have your way every time This is simply because, you have already left this place of innocence and now you are on way to a destination, where all desires and wishes have to be conditioned by social customs, cultural practices and law of the land, etc Growing up means, you have to be „accommodative‟, as you are now inseparable part of the society, which is a place where individualistic desires have to be adjusted and accommodated against collective well-being Everyone has to do it
The simple fact is, the trouble is not with your inquisitiveness or your non-acceptance of an answer as the right one You always have the right to say, you differ and you do not accept it as the right answer However, the trouble is with the way you accept a no for an answer The
aggression and heightened irritability is the trouble Your non-accommodation with an innocuous
„no‟ is what labels you as „trouble‟ It is not only with you Anyone, even an adult, who is not well skilled with the social artistry of accommodation and peaceful coexistence has to be labeled
as „trouble‟ because, social system works on these golden principle of peaceful coexistence We shall talk about it later
It is somehow very unfortunate that when a young of a family shows up its inquisitiveness, the grownups have very little time to spare for the adolescents as we all live in a very complex and fast world Even if they spare their time and attention, they are too prompt to disallow the
inquisitive nature of young, which is usually full of instinctive logic and equalitarian appeals Still, the fact remains that, you as a new entrant into this world, have to be more aware and more accommodative about all the circumstances, which may not be in your favor The simple reason for this is – first, you are a new entrant and second, you have to evolve and grow to later be in the position, where you shall create a better world for your own young ones The more important reason is – you are still the true genius of the world, as you have still not been made a stupid, which usually people become when they grow up That is why; you shall adjust more to be more
in touch with better learning avenues This is something, which shall benefit you hugely
You are still new to this world, which has its own set of conflicts and hypocrisies The world is what it is, neutral and objective You are entering it for the first time The hypocrisies and
conflicts all wait for you and they shall be unleashed on you in a neutral way You need to see and understand all these hypocrisies and conflicts You are the genius and you can
Trang 12You shall see and understand; much to your initial discomfort that the real trouble is not usually with adolescent mind and teenage behaviors-actions Rather, it is with the grown up world The grownups live in a world, which has been constructed on the platform of life and living
contradictions, manufactured and synthetic conflicts, unnatural premises and restrictive
behaviors and actions You shall grow up to see the negative side of our cultural evolution as humans
Naturally, you as a young mind, which has not yet been exposed to it, will think instinctively and your mind would justify things you believe in, as the natural behavior would guide you This would stand you in conflict with the rules and accepted norms of the grown up world The
grownups being in command of resources and authority tools, will disallow the young
rationality This in turn would confuse and conflict the youth, resulting in dysfunctional behavior pattern among them This you have to guard against
It seems very credible that the solution is not in negating youth instincts and rationality b ut in educating them about the world as it is and also about sharing their minds with appreciation and adult respect
For example, a teenage boy sees his father doing something with full authority and social
acceptance and so he would also demand to do it However, he may not be allowed, as it may sometime be against prevalent law, social rules, cultural practices or family norms However, it will be utterly wrong to discourage the desire of teenager and scold him or her for this Rather the teens should be taken in confidence and told that he or she would also do it someday when he
or she will fulfill a certain achievement in life as, nothing in life comes free and without frills The simple life philosophy is not to negate youth inquisitiveness and instincts rather educating them about various aspects of life and living that conditions decision- making and choices Even
if this involves hypocrisy and conflict, the young must be educated about it Thet need to learn those aspects of life and living that evolves them in a positive way, inculcating a pride and respect in them, which is core component for their healthy and positive growth Logic fills all empty spaces in mind and that is why; logic to anyone cannot be negated and denied
You, as a youth need to understand and accept that there are some thoughts and ideas, which shall come to your mind, just because you are in a mid-situation of life Every stage of life has its
Trang 13associated thought and emotional outcomes As a teenager, you shall have the following thoughts and emotions, which you must understand and accept They are –
1 What is happening to you may sound exclusive and novel to you but it is essentially common
to all humans in their growth towards adulthood You have just entered this world but t his world you see is thousands of years old All humans have common mechanism of body- mind
consciousness and what you feel is something common to most in your age The sense of novelty
of idea or emotion is exciting to you but may not be same with all those, who have gone past it The gap between you as a teenager and those grownups is imminent Most conflicts of interest, which you have, shall automatically be resolved, if you see it this way
2 Most of your troubles and issues as teenager are usually ver y normal and they are generally a passing phase, with very high prospects of you coming out of them as winners if you have the right information and objective assessment capability That is why; you need to focus less on troubles and issues at hand and more on your inquisitive mind, which shall lead you to attain more information and knowledge, finally solving your problems
3 You have just entered this vast world of knowledge and growth and that is why you feel
confused and at loss As you are gradually exposed to the worldview and existing knowledge of humanity, you shall find that already this world has answers to most of your queries and troubles Then you shall feel assured and at peace So, be patient and give yourself some precious time Let us understand all this with the help of a true story It happened with someone very close to
me and I am so happy to share it with you This true story has all ingredients of teenage troubles and also has the idea, which we have talked so far
As it is with all teenagers, this boy in our story had issues with the discipline he was always loaded with He was 13 years old and had started to develop his own set of thoughts and
emotions Discipline as the greatest morality was not always acceptable to him as he saw it as a tool of smothering his natural inquisitiveness
When he was in class six, he had once dared to speak his mind and his question, which he
considered very valid and innocent, had landed him in deep trouble His question related to something, which had become a routine in his school There would be seven periods in weekdays
Trang 14in his school and in all periods, the teachers would assign homework The homework of all seven periods became so cumbersome that he could not complete them even when he studied for t hree hours in the evening after playing cricket for one hour
The next day, he would invariably be punished by teachers whose homework he could not
complete Someday, he would be lucky to complete homework of all seven periods but half of the days in the week, he would be punished in at least two periods for not completing the tasks
He would not be alone, as at least five-six others would be lined up for similar offences
One day, he was about to be punished when he stepped back, withdrawing his hand away from the trajectory of the stick of his teacher and asked, was it right that he be burdened with
homework in all seven periods? The question infuriated the teacher and he was not only beaten with stick but with slaps and fists
The ordeal did not end here He was produced before the school principal The teacher
complained to the principal that he had breached the discipline of the school by refusing to do his homework and then publically protesting against homework and punishment The principal suddenly got serious He told the teacher that if this boy remained in the school, it would set a wrong precedent for other students His simple question was labeled by the principal as
something like a mutiny
He was beaten up hard but he did not say a word more He however still felt what he had asked was a simple question and it was not even a protest, let alone a mutiny The principal
immediately passed the order to expel him from the school Back home, nobody bothered to know his version of the story and he was scolded badly for being an undisciplined boy The principal relented only after his father gave him in writing that he would behave properly in future
Years after this incident, the same boy went back to his school in an „Old Boys Association Function‟ and the principal, who had expelled him from the school was there Both laughed at the incidents, which happened 20 years back However, he asked the principal why he did not believe his words then and why he did not accept his version that he had just asked an innocent question and it was no rebellion
Trang 15The principal answered him, “I believed you and knew that what you had done was no rebellion
or indiscipline Your question was natural and innocent Still I had to take the action, which I took because it was required for the smooth functioning of the school Discipline is a notional thing It is accepted only when it is taken as something indispensible, objective, nonflexible and unpardonable If I allowed you the luxury of asking a question, it would dent the discipline mould and then it would be ineffective as a tool There were a thousand students in the school and if everyone asked a question, discipline would have been very difficult to maintain If I allow one question, there shall be deluge of questions and answering all these questions shall be one major trouble, which would take the focus away from teaching I was a principal and my duty was to maintain educational sanity I did what you too would have done, had you been in my position.”
The idea behind the story is what we have talked earlier How the world works is one reality It has its own rules and own hypocrisies They are there as objective and neutral systems One may find himself or herself on the wrong side of the prevailing system Others st ill are benefitting from the same system What you as an adolescent can do is accept them as necessary burdens You can well stick with your natural and innocent inquisitiveness You shall have the time and chance to change the world, when you shall be in the position, when you create or preside the system
However, what as a teenager you must have as a cushion is your family, especially parents The societal system or cultural benchmarks are all aimed at objectivity and neutrality They cannot bend even a little for you Like the student in above story, the society system shall not allow you even a small concession, from its fixed standpoint as it is designed for groups and collectivity It
is the family, which is a place where you have lots of personalized and individualistic space It is important for you to have a good and meaningful communication with your parents and family members They shall be supportive in allowing your natural inquisitiveness to have better
working space
However, you have to accept the world as it works You should always believe in your
inquisitiveness and remain confident with the innocence of your questions Righteousness is often a societal and cultural idea They work as per their own logic, which you shall understand when you grow up You can change them when you get the chance to preside over the same
Trang 16system For now, be comfortable and confident about your questions and inquisitiveness And the most important is to maintain your cool Never ever get irritated and aggressive in your action-behavior Always remember, those who have truth in their side, never ever get angry and aggressive They just smile
If you maintain calm, cool and composed disposition, you shall realize that you shall emerge as winner in the end As you shall grow and later enter college and even in career; you shall see that many of your natural and innocent questions shall meet with an untimely demise This should only make you confident and sure of the righteousness and justification of your natural
inquisitiveness The nervousness or aggression, which you would see your questions generate among those who are responsible for answers, shall assure you that righteousness is on your side
If righteousness is in your side, you should feel calm and composed, s miling Why would
questions scare anyone, if the answers are truthful? The force, with which the authoritative layers shall attempt to smother your natural questions, shall only reflect the reality that there is
something that they fear the questions would expose – either their incompetence or ignorance to answer them or the larger hypocrisy of humanity
If you are calm, cool and composed with your natural and innocent inquisitiveness, you shall grow up to the realism that asking question is a greater virtue than giving answers Keeping a question alive, not allowing it to die prematurely requires a lot of courage, character and
conviction
Almost everyone claims to have the answers; some of them probably have Most of them even fight for their answers to be the only justified one Many have the authority to impose answers or the refusal of it on people Only few however have questions and the courage to stand by them You shall realize, if necessity was the mother of inventions, questions were the primary energy behind all inventions, all creations
Just calmly and coolly, refuse the socially popular notion that a question is a sign of weakness as
it exposes the ignorance of the questioner You shall realize, a question is a sure sign of
innocence and courage It requires childlike innocence and courage of highest order to rise above the fear of being labeled an ignorant, to face the taunts of peer group and society to keep faith
Trang 17with your inquisitiveness History is replete with instances where courage of question of a few men and women led to revolutions
Natural and innocent questioners have always faced the ire of the majority who feared answers Always be on the side of your natural questions And as you do it, do it with a smile This smile also comes natural to you, as you stay calm, cool and composed, never ever giving in to your irritability and aggression Always accept, if something has truth in its side, it shall always be non-aggressive This is simple realism of life
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The Genesis Of Trouble
We now focus our talks on the issues of sanity and sense in life, especially about sex and drugs
We have talked about how the adult world is very concerned about how teenagers handle the issue of sex and how it is emerging as number one trouble for teens, in terms of so many troubles for them and society alike The issue of alcoholism and drugs use is closely related with sexual troubles as it has been established former aggravates the later issue
The troubles for youth are unraveled in layers The problems are multidimensional and layered The issues at hand are –
multi-1 How teenagers can be convinced not to involve themselves in any sexual activity, till they reach an age of rationality and responsibility
2 How to make the teenagers realize and accept that sex is essentially an exclusive domain of bonded pair of man and woman committed in marriage
3 How to make teenagers realize that teenage is not the right time for sex activities as it has negative and degenerative impact o n overall physical and mental health, as well as on balanced personality development
4 How to convince teenagers that if they opt for sex, they need to take all possible measures to make the activity sanitized and safe
Trang 185 How to impress upon the teenagers the fact that alcoholism-drugs and sexual adventurism are hugely negative impact on the very survival of human society and civilization as it is
degenerating the utility and purpose of sanitized family and community living
All these issues about teenage sexuality are simple ideas and not something as difficult like
rocket science, which youth cannot understand There have been major efforts to make the
teenagers believe and accept all the above issues for their own benefit but with not much success The simple question is – a youth, who can understand the very tough and complicated
mathematics, complex science and major social science philosophies, simply fails to understand
a simple truth about sexual problems and sanity Why?
The same youngster, who is smart and competent enough to understand the entire mechanisms of complicated technologies and runs them on their mobile phones and computers like a wizard, fails to comprehend this simple truths about sexuality Why?
The bitter truth is – if there is a will to understand and accept something, there is always an easy way Inversely, if there is no willingness and rather doubts about the utility of a proposition, there can never be any way to understand and accept them
You as a youngster have a mind mechanism, which is so brilliant and powerful that it can
assimilate a learning even when you are in worst of circumstances The only trouble is, you
cannot retain a learning, if it is assigned to your brain with uncertain and doubtful emotion
Moreover, if the same learning is not repeated to the mind from all corners in the ambient
environment, the brain shall not retain it
You are young and you have the genius to understand this simple mechanism of our brain You shall then understand how your mind accepts a nd retains something and how and why it does not You shall also understand how a learning comes to your use and help, when you are making decisions about the utility and worth of a thing or an idea
When you know this mechanism of brain, you shall understand why all the above simple truths about sex and sexuality action-behavior, which the whole world is telling you, are not being put
to ready and lasting practices This is true with all, which you learn This shall empower you, making you far more decisive in picking up the right facts of life and benefit from them
Trang 19Your brain has evolved over millions of years to enable you function well in the environment you survive and excel It has its own mechanism It receives trillions of signals through sensory organs like eyes, ears, nose, skin, etc Not all information the brain receives can store in its conscious layers It relegates most of the information to subconscious layers Only those
information are looped back to conscious mind for your daily life decis ions, which are assigned
to it with clarity of purpose and utility
The things you learn are not the only information, which goes to the brain for processing and storing in its memory Most information goes to the brains through eyes and ears You are not even aware of them When you learn something, you may or may not retain it It depends entirely
on your assigning it a value and purpose This value-assignment is done by your emotions Only those information are available for later use and utility by the conscious mind, which you accept with intense emotions and with an emotion of it being very important and useful to you
For example, you love you mom very much She is someone you value, trust and place high on your emotional ladder Even if she says something casually, you automatically assign it great value and utility Her words are sent as information to your brain, with loads of high emotional backup and your brain accepts its larger utility for you Days go by but still, her words shall automatically loop back to your conscious mind, while you do anything or take a decision This learning shall get strengthened in time as you keep recalling it
However, you do not like your neighbor So, even if your neighbor says something important to you, you shall receive it with skepticism Your brain shall assign this information as „less
valuable‟ and relegate it deep down in your subconscious mind, as you did not assign it
emotional backup The words of your neighbor are not something you value, therefore, you may not recall it later Your brain is an auto performer It shall prune this bit of information, which your neighbor loaded in your brain as brain automatically trims those information, which are not
in use Very soon, you shall forget what your neighbor had said
Take another example You learn to ride a bicycle You shall always be in a look out to have the bicycle in your hand so that you could master the ride and related skill Even if you fall down sometimes, you keep your romance with bicycle riding Why this happens? The simple reason is, when you first learnt cycling, it gave you huge joy of sense of accomplishment Your pride got a
Trang 20huge boost In mental terms, you assigned high value and emotion to the utility of bicycle ride It
is only natural that your brain prompted you to have more of it As you had more of it, you mastered the artistry and skills of cycling
However, when your schoolteacher makes you learn a topic for the first time, you may not like it Unconsciously, you assigned low utility and emotional value to the idea of learning Your mind accepts your value-assignment and does not prompt you to repeat the school lessons at home As
it is not repeated, you do not acquire mastery over it and gradually, it fades out of your memory Remember, the boy or girl, who does remarkably well in your class, is one who primarily accepts
a school lesson as a joy and thrill When school learning are thrill, and give you the same sense
of accomplishment and pride, which the cycle ride gave you, you become the best student of your class as your subconscious mind leads you to master the learning
Your brain can do even worst If your brain gets the repeated information that you are gradually disliking your neighbor and class learning more, it shall devise a better plan for itself Later, it shall happen to you that your neighbor or teacher shall say something yelling at you still, you shall not even receive what they said Your brain almost shuts down your receptive doors
This is a very common complaint about you as youth People complain that young ones even do not listen to things, which adults have to say about their own wellness It happens truly as over the years, your brain can make it shut down to voices, which it has recognized as „useless‟ and
„antagonistic‟ to its wider utility You need to understand and accept that
This mechanism of brain has evolved this way to suit your survival and wellness needs Your conscious mind is very small It cannot store so many information, it receives almost ever y second of your life The larger storage facility is your subconscious mind Both are connected and information passage is both ways Experts say, if your conscious mind is a foot long, your subconscious mind is the size of a football ground
We talked about all this to make you understand, why you do not accept the utility of so many things, which the elders and larger society wants you to accept and put into effective practice The ideas about appropriate and righteous sexual action-behavior benchmarks, which your family and society want you to understand, accept and practice, prove ineffective to you as all
Trang 21these ideas are not being assigned emotional weight of utility and purpose by you You listen to them but either, the ideas do not reach your mind or, you just let them in without any emotional assignment of high value and utility
Moreover, as these ideas get relegated to the deeper layers of your subconscious, they are not recalled, when you make your decisions and choices about sexual action-behavior or alcoholi-drugs As these ideas are seldom put to use and practice, your subconscious mind prunes it and removes from memory This leads you to get into the same sexual and substance abuse troubles, against which the world warns you
Now, you also need to understand, why you do not assign emotional weight of value and utility
to the ideas of sanity and purpose Why is it that despite repeated learning offered to you about appropriate sexual action-behavior, these ideas and learning fail to get emotional weight
assignment by you?
Believe me, this is very simple to understand This problem of yours is not something exclusive
to you Everyone faces the same trouble, as mind mechanism is common to all of us Even when you shall grow up, the trouble shall remain the same That is probably why, you also see the elders doing the same mistake and create the same troubles, for which you as a teenager are being blamed Let us talk about it
At the outset, you need to accept that we humans have a mechanism Our brain handles this mechanism for us and we all are largely what our mechanism is Of course, we are not machines,
we are more than our mechanisms but, we have a mechanism, which handles majority of our action-behavior When we understand this mechanism, we create a conscious personality, which can rise above and beyond this restrictive mechanism All learning and wisdom of humanity, like the sexual sanity ideas, are aimed at creating a person and personality in you, which is
empowered and endowed to become the „master of mechanism‟ If we do not do it, we shall remain the „puppets of mechanism‟, a proposition akin to being an animal Animals live their lives as per their wired instincts To be human is to be more than our instincts Human
intelligence is in being the „masters of the instincts‟ and not just the „puppets of instincts‟ as the animals are
Trang 22In all wisdom, be it science, philosophy or religion; it has been established that a person is
mostly in state of flux The mind operates as per its mechanism and usually, people are not even aware what subconsciously goes into their minds In our daily lives, we unconsciously assign information and emotional weight to so many inputs, which go into our brain Usually, what we see and what we hear happening around us, decides our subconscious mind Ambient culture therefore is the most decisive input for our subconscious mind for emotional assignment of value and utility
Popular and prevailing culture of a society is the most powerful media What prevails in the culture and what trends in the culture, automatically becomes the strongest basis of our
subconscious mind‟s decisions about our own needs and righteousness The subconscious mind
is designed for „aping‟ It is the most primitive instinct, which remains the most potent one We all evolve through this aping instinct From childhood, a person‟s growth comes through aping It
is only very natural that the subconscious mind accepts aping as big virtue and we all have this innate tendency to ape, which is popular and prevalent trend in the culture we live
In the prevailing and popular culture of most developed societies, especially in western world, sexuality and sexual adventurism is a popular and prevalent trend Even the adult world is hugely concerned about too much and too over the board sexuality in almost everything around The language people speak, the appearances people choose, the fashion and lifestyle people follow and the way people express their feelings and ideas in private and public spaces of life;
everything has crass overdose and indulgence of overt sexuality The same is about drugs
alcohol-In such a culture, where sexuality is what defines the subconscious layer of collective
conscience, if someone preaches you about sexual sanity and reticence, an average teenage mind cannot help but accept them as some marvelous joke! A young mind is inquisitive and it has still not loaded his or her mind with huge biases The youth can never ever accept something as important as learning, if it is perceptibly p ackaged as hyped hypocrisy The hypocrisy in sexual learning of sanity and symmetry for teenagers cannot be assigned value and emotional utility by teens as their subconscious mind has already assigned the opposite of it as the preferred value and utility This subconscious mind positioning of teens is truly in sync with popular cultural
Trang 23benchmarks and trends Teens cannot be exclusively blamed for their inappropriate sexual
action-behavior The same is about alcohol-drugs
This however, does not mean, you as a youth should blindly follow, what is a stupid cultural trend In all ages, in all societies and culture, hypocrisy has remained in full view of young impressionable minds Still, in the past and also in the present, young ones have risen up and evolved successfully to become greats in all walks of life This is the true genius of a youth like you You have the mechanism to rise above all hypocrisies and conflicts of cultures and attain the lofty and higher purposes and utilities of life We shall talk about that later
**
Unde rstand The Drives Of Humanity
I am talking with you about the mechanisms we all have and why we behave and act the way we
do The purpose is for you to understand well the genesis and genetics of your act ion and
behavior This has two purposes – first, you shall know why people say, youth are „troubled‟ in their action-behavior You shall diagnose the cause of trouble and secondly, you shall have better control over your conscious and subconscious action-behavior This shall enable you to
understand the righteousness and utility of an act-behavior as well as the larger benefits of the
„appropriate‟ benchmarks of action-behavior, which society expects from you
We shall talk now about why you see so much overt sexuality in culture, even when everyone simultaneously talks about the need to downplay it and have larger sanity into it We are talking about the personal mechanisms, which our body- mind consciousness has as well as the
mechanisms of the culture, you see all around you as a powerful media
All living organisms, including humans have two most powerful natural drives Drives are essentially the natural and born instincts, which are wired in our genetic makeup This means, drives are our first skin, our first priority, which our very mechanism of existence has ingrained
in our makeup, well before we are born Culture comes later These drives are so powerful that they dominate our subconscious action-behavior to the extent that even the very aware and potent conscious mind is also at times unable to override it
Trang 24These two drives are – food and sex; both are natural expressions of organism‟s primary need of survival It has now been established that of the two drives, we all are born with, sex is more powerful, to the extent that in almost all living organisms, including humans, an individual can often risk its life for the fulfillment of the desires, emanating from sex drive Just understand it, how powerful this sex drive is that organisms, including humans can place it above survival, which is the most powerful instinct in all of us
There is nothing wrong with it and there is no need for being uncomfortable or stressed about it
We have been designed this way It is very natural In the long process of evolution, these drives have evolved and become encoded in our genetic makeup These drives are there to ensure our wellness and progress as an advanced species We just need to understand them The evolution, the experts say is a „stupid engineering‟ It designs something not for overall excellence, but for basic survival needs It is completely on the higher prudence of humanity to understand these drives and evolve a culture, where these drives put us in larger excellence and not bare survival You as a youth are the genius of the universe and you can understand it all You can see yourself that how the drive of food has landed humanity in all sorts of health troubles The drives are natural but even these drives have to be in perfect synergies, symmetry and sanity with our internal body- mind mechanisms as well as the external environment Culture is one big external environment
The drives were there for our survival However, we are well past the evolutionary stage of survival needs We have plenty of food for all of us and we are no more threatened by food scarcity The time for us is now for excellence, not survival
The food drive is now humanity‟s number one trouble, which was once a core instinct ensuring survival Humanity is now on the overdrive of both the drives If you see around us, you shall easily witness everything around you engaged in nothing but consumption Globally, most people are landing themselves with lifestyle diseases, which are direct outcome of over
consumption More people are dying of overeating than starvation The scenario of worldwide trouble for humanity can be ascribed to over- indulgence of their two drives of food and
sexuality The instant-self- gratification culture is against survival and excellence
Trang 25You also have to understand that the two core drives of food and sex manifest itself in
multidimensional ways; especially sex Almost everything humans do, the eventual goal is almost always a manifestation of the instinctive sex drive However, these drives are culturally expressed in a manner, which ensures sanity and symmetry in the society Human culture was evolved to give aesthetic value to these raw drives of humanity Culture is all about an order and system, which brings about prudence, proportion and poise to natural human drives
However, human raw drives of sexuality has always remained in major conflict with cultures of all time The modern culture has allowed liberalism to such limits, where all inhibitions,
prudence, proportions and poise on sex drives of people have been removed We now face the troubles of this unbridled culture
However, as a youth, you need to understand that just as you are in a transition phase of growth towards a mature adult, this culture around you is also in the same transition This cult ure of sexual misadventure is a passing phase of humanity In the long history of humanity on this planet, there have been phases of culture, where some destructive practices ruled for some time but all of them phased out in time Human intelligence can drift in indecisive imprudence for some time but finally, it has the genius to restore sanity
The world you are seeing has not been as good and peaceful as it is now A century back, we had
a global culture, where men fought wars and the culture of imperialism and slavery ruled the world The world fought two devastating wars and it almost emaciated the humanity of all goodness However, the prudence and sanity of humanity prevailed and in the last 60 years, we have grown marvelously on the cherished path of global peace, coexistence, democracy and liberal culture In social and cultural practices too, the world has become a far better place to live
in the last six decades
This culture of sexual misadventure and bizarreness as well as instant-self- gratification madness shall pass too Already, what this calamitous culture has brought to western developed societies has made everyone aware of the need to have a system of sanity and symmetry What you are being told by elders to keep away with is a conscious and determined effort by larger society to have a new generation of people, who create a new culture, which has larger prudence,
proportions and poise on not only sex drives but also in all drives of humanity