Phase 3, revising, involves putting the final touches on your message. Careful and caring writers will ask a number of questions as they do the following:
● Revise for clarity. Viewed from the receiver’s perspective, are the ideas clear? Do they need more explanation? If the memo is passed on to others, will they need further explanation? Consider having a colleague critique your message if it is an important one.
● Proofread for correctness. Are the sentences complete and punctuated properly? Did you overlook any typos or misspelled words? Remember to use your spell checker and grammar checker to proofread your message before sending it.
Before writing, ask questions that help you analyze, anticipate, and adapt your message.
Before writing, ask questions that help you analyze, anticipate, and adapt your message.
Gather background information;
organize it into an outline;
compose your message; and revise for clarity, correctness, and feedback.
Gather background information;
organize it into an outline;
compose your message; and revise for clarity, correctness, and feedback.
● Plan for feedback. How will you know whether this message is successful? You can improve feedback by asking questions (such as Are you comfortable with these suggestions?
or What do you think? ). Remember to make it easy for the receiver to respond.
Structuring and Formatting E-Mail Messages and Memos
Because e-mail messages and memos are standard forms of communication within or gani- zations, they will probably become your most common business communication channel.
These messages perform critical tasks such as informing employees, giving directions, out- lining procedures, requesting data, supplying responses, and confirming decisions. They usually follow similar structure and formatting.
The Four Parts of E-Mail Messages and Memos
Whether electronic or hard copy, routine memos generally contain four parts: (a) an informa- tive subject line that summarizes the message; (b) an opening that reveals the main idea im- mediately; (c) a body that explains and justifies the main idea; and (d) a closing that presents action information, summarizes the message, or offers a closing thought. Remember that routine messages deliver good news or standard information.
Subject Line. In e-mails and memos an informative subject line is mandatory. It sum- marizes the central idea, thus providing quick identification for reading and for filing. In e- mail messages, subject lines are essential. Busy readers glance at a subject line and decide when and whether to read the message. Those without subject lines are automatically deleted.
What does it take to get your message read? For one thing, stay away from meaning- less or dangerous words. A sure way to get your message deleted or ignored is to use a one-word heading such as Issue, Problem, Important, or Help. Including a word such as Free is dangerous because it may trigger spam filters. Try to make your subject line “talk” by includ- ing a verb. Explain the purpose of the message and how it relates to the reader (Need You to Showcase Two Items at Our Next Trade Show rather than Trade Show). Finally, update your
LEARNING OBJECTIVE 2 Analyze the structure and formatting of e-mail messages and memos.
LEARNING OBJECTIVE 2 Analyze the structure and formatting of e-mail messages and memos.
Subject lines summarize the purpose of the message in abbreviated form.
Subject lines summarize the purpose of the message in abbreviated form.
© AP IMAGES
Has Starbucks lost its soul? That’s the claim made by Starbucks founder Howard Schultz in an e-mail to top management.
According to Schultz, the coffee company’s chain-oriented growth has watered down the Starbucks experience, turned the brand into a commodity, and created a “sterile cookie-cutter”
atmosphere in the stores. After lamenting numerous changes, including the disappearance of Starbucks’ traditional Italian espresso makers, Shultz’s memo closes: “Let’s get back to the core…and do the things necessary to once again differentiate Starbucks from all others.” What makes this an effective closing?
subject line to reflect the current message (Staff Meeting Rescheduled for May 12 rather than Re: Re: Staff Meeting). Remember that a subject line is usually written in an abbreviated style, often without articles (a, an, the). It need not be a complete sentence, and it does not end with a period.
Opening. Most e-mails and memos cover nonsensitive information that can be handled in a straightforward manner. Begin by frontloading; that is, reveal the main idea immediately. Even though the purpose of the memo or e-mail is summarized in the subject line, that purpose should be restated—and amplified—in the first sentence.
As you learned in Chapters 5 and 6, busy readers want to know immediately why they are reading a message. Notice how the following indirect opener can be improved by frontloading.
Indirect Opening Direct Opening
For the past six months the Human Resources Development Department has been considering changes in our employ- ees’ benefit plan.
Please review the following proposal regarding employees’ benefits, and let me know by May 20 if you approve these changes.
Body. The body provides more information about the reason for writing. It explains and discusses the subject logically. Good e-mail messages and memos generally discuss only one topic. Limiting the topic helps the receiver act on the subject and file it appropriately. A writer who, for example, describes a computer printer problem and also requests permission to attend a conference runs a 50 percent failure risk. The reader may respond to the printer problem but delay or forget about the conference request.
Design your data for easy comprehension by using numbered lists, headings, tables, and other graphic highlighting techniques, as introduced in Chapter 6. Compare the fol- lowing versions of the same message. Notice how the graphic devices of bullets, columns, headings, and white space make the main points easier to comprehend.
Hard-to-Read Paragraph Version
Effective immediately are the following air travel guidelines. Between now and Decem- ber 31, only account executives may take company-approved trips. These individuals will be allowed to take a maximum of two trips, and they are to travel economy or budget class only.
Improved Version With Graphic Highlighting
Effective immediately are the following air travel guidelines:
● Who may travel: Account executives only
● How many trips: A maximum of two trips
● By when: Between now and December 31
● Air class: Economy or budget class only
Closing. Generally end with (a) action information, dates, or deadlines; (b) a summary of the message; or (c) a closing thought. Here again the value of thinking through the message before actually writing it becomes apparent. The closing is where readers look for deadlines and action language. An effective memo or e-mail closing might be, Please submit your re- port by June 15 so that we can have your data before our July planning session.
In more complex messages a summary of main points may be an appropriate closing.
If no action request is made and a closing summary is unnecessary, you might end with a simple concluding thought (I’m glad to answer your questions or This sounds like a useful project). You needn’t close messages to coworkers with goodwill statements such as those found in letters to customers or clients. However, some closing thought is often necessary to prevent a feeling of abruptness. Closings can show gratitude or encourage feedback with Most e-mails and memos open
directly by revealing the main idea immediately.
Most e-mails and memos open directly by revealing the main idea immediately.
The body explains one topic and is designed for easy comprehension.
The body explains one topic and is designed for easy comprehension.
Messages should close with (a) action information including dates and deadlines, (b) a summary, or (c) a closing thought.
Messages should close with (a) action information including dates and deadlines, (b) a summary, or (c) a closing thought.
remarks such as I sincerely appreciate your help or What are your ideas on this proposal? Other closings look forward to what’s next, such as How would you like to proceed? Avoid closing with overused expressions such as Please let me know if I may be of further assistance. This ending sounds mechanical and insincere.
Developing a Complete Message. Now let us follow the development of an e-mail message to see how we can apply the ideas just discussed. Figure 7.1 on page 176 shows the first draft of an e-mail message written by Jeff Fritsch to his boss, Sara Watts.
Although it contained solid information, the message was so wordy and dense that the main points were submerged.
After writing the first draft, Jeff realized that he needed to reorganize his message into an opening, body, and closing. What’s more, he desperately needed to improve the readability. In studying what he had written, he realized that he was talking about two main problems. He also discovered that he could present a three-part solution. These ideas didn’t occur to him until he had written the first draft. Only in the revision stage was he able to see that he was talking about two separate problems as well as a three- part solution. The revision process can help you think through a problem and clarify a solution.
In the revised version, Jeff was more aware of the subject line, opening, body, and clos- ing. He used an informative subject line and opened directly by explaining why he was writ- ing. His opening also outlined the two main problems so that his reader understood the background of the following recommendations. In the body of his message, Jeff identified three corrective actions, and he highlighted them with bullets for improved readability.
Notice, too, that Jeff closed his message with a deadline and a reference to the next action to be taken.
Formatting E-Mail Messages
Although e-mail is a new communication channel, people are beginning to agree on specific formatting and usage conventions. The following suggestions identify current formatting standards. Always check with your organization, however, to observe its practices.
Guide Words. Following the guide word To, some writers insert just the recipient’s electronic address, such as swatts@morris.com. Other writers prefer to include the receiver’s full name plus the electronic address, as shown in Figure 7.2 on page 177. By including full names in the To and From slots, both receivers and senders are better able to identify the message. By the way, the order of Date, To, From, Subject, and other guide words varies de- pending on your e-mail program and whether you are sending or receiving the message.
Most e-mail programs automatically add the current date after Date. On the Cc line (which stands for carbon copy or courtesy copy), you can type the address of anyone who is to receive a copy of the message. Remember, though, to send copies only to those people directly involved with the message. Most e-mail programs also include a line for Bcc (blind carbon copy). This sends a copy without the addressee’s knowledge.
Many savvy writers today use Bcc for the names and addresses of a list of receivers, a technique that avoids revealing the addresses to the entire group. On the subject line, identify the subject of the memo. Be sure to include enough information to be clear and compelling.
Greeting. Begin your message with a friendly greeting such as the following:
Hi, Rudy, Thank you, Haley,
Greetings, Amy, Dear Mr. Cotter, Dear Chris Cotter,
Leslie, Dear Leslie,
In addition to being friendly, a greeting provides a visual cue marking the beginning of the message. Many messages are transmitted or forwarded with such long headers that finding the beginning of the message can be difficult. A greeting helps, as shown in Figure 7.2.
Revision helps you think through a problem, clarify a solution, and express it clearly.
Revision helps you think through a problem, clarify a solution, and express it clearly.
E-mails contain guide words, optional greetings, and a concise and easy-to-read message.
E-mails contain guide words, optional greetings, and a concise and easy-to-read message.
Greetings are important to show friendliness and to indicate the beginning of the message.
Greetings are important to show friendliness and to indicate the beginning of the message.
Hiding Blind Copies Some workers use Bcc (blind carbon copy) to copy their friends and colleagues on e-mail when they do not want the recipient to know that a third party will also read the message. Based on the “netiquette” discussed in this chapter, do you believe that hiding copies from the recipient is harmless and acceptable?
Ethics Check
FIGURE 7.1 Revising an E-Mail Message That Responds
1
1 Prewriting 2 Writing 3 Revising
Analyze:The purpose of this memo is to describe database problems and recommend solutions.
Anticipate:The audience is the writer’s boss, who is familiar with the topic and who appreciates brevity.
Adapt:Because the reader requested this message, the direct pattern is most appropriate.
Research:Gather data documenting the customer database and how to use Access software.
Organize:Announce recommendations and summarize problems. In the body, list the three actions for solving the problem. In the closing, describe reader benefits, provide a deadline, and specify the next action.
Compose:Prepare the first draft.
Revise:Highlight the two main problems and the three recommendations. Use asterisks, caps, and headings to improve readability.
Make the bulleted ideas parallel.
Proofread:Double-check to see whetherdatabaseis one word or two.
Use spell checker.
Evaluate:Does this e-mail supply concise information the boss wants in an easy-to-read format?
Body organizes main points for readability
Closing includes key benefit, deadline, and next action Informative subject line summarizes purpose
Opening states purpose concisely and highlights two problems
Uses meaningless subject line
Forgets to conclude with next action and end date
Sara,
As you requested, I am submitting my recommendations for improving our customer database. The database has two major problems. First, it contains many names of individuals who have not made purchases in five or more years. Second, the format is not compatible with the new Access software used by our mailing service.
The following three procedures, however, should solve both problems:
• Start a new database. Effective immediately enter the names of all new customers in a new database using Access software.
• Determine the status of customers in our old database. Send out a mailing asking whether recipients want to continue receiving our newsletter and product announcements.
• Rekey or scan the names of active customers. Enter the names of all responding customers in our new database so that we have only one active database.
These changes will enable you, as team leader, to request mailings that go only to active customers. Please let me know by February 25 whether you think these recommendations are workable. If so, I will investigate costs.
All the best, Jeff
Jeffrey Fritsch Senior Technician Information Technology Mail: jfritsch@morris.com Phone: (813) 480-3920 Fax: (813) 480-2981
Sara Watts <swatts@morris.com>
Jeffrey Fritsch <jfritsch@morris.com>
Improving Our Customer Database To:
From:
Subject:
Fails to reveal purpose quickly Buries two problems
and three-part solution in huge paragraph
Signature block provides full contact information