You are congratulating yourself on landing a fantastic job. Terrific title. Terrific salary. Terrific boss. You were even smart enough to talk about an exit package during your interview. You had read an article in The Wall Street Journal suggesting that the best time to win a generous departure deal is before you accept a position.
Because you knew your skills were in high demand for this position and because you would be giving up a good position, you wanted to know what the typical severance package involved.
What would you receive if this job disappeared through a merger or downturn in the economy or similar unforeseen event? The hiring manager told you that the standard severance package includes one week’s salary for every year of service, outplacement counseling for up to six months, accrued but unused vacation pay, and extended medical coverage. After a little bargaining, you were able to increase the severance pay to two weeks’ salary for each year of service and medical insurance for you and your family up to one year or until you found another position.
Then you begin to worry. You didn’t get any of this in writing.
Your Task. You decide to write a confirmation memo outlining the severance package discussed in your interview. The Wall Street
Journal says that your memo becomes an enforceable contract.
Write a hard-copy memo to Jefferson Walker, operations manager, describing your understanding of what you were promised.19 If Mr. Walker doesn’t agree with any of the details, ask him to respond immediately. Show your enthusiasm for the job, and keep the tone of your message upbeat. Add any necessary details.
7.25 Response Memo or E-Mail: What Is a FICO Credit Rating Score? (Obj. 5)
Consumer E-Mail Web
For years the credit industry hushed up a consumer’s credit score.
Credit bureaus would reveal a consumer’s credit rating only to a lender when an applicant wanted a loan. Customers could not learn their scores unless credit was denied. Now, all that has changed.
Using the Internet, consumers can check their credit files and even obtain specific credit scores, which are key factors in obtaining loans, renting property, and protecting against identity theft. Although the three national credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion) may use different scoring systems, many lenders now mention FICO scores as the favored ranking to estimate the risk involved in an individual’s loan application.
Your Task. As an intern in architect Eric Larson’s office, you must do some Internet research. Mr. Larson recently had to reject two potentially lucrative house construction jobs because the clients received low FICO scores from their credit bureaus. They could not qualify for construction loans. He wants you to learn exactly what
“FICO” means and how this score is determined. Mr. Larson also wants to know how consumers can raise their FICO scores. Go to http://www.myfico.com and study its information. (Use a search engine with the term “My Fico” if this URL fails.) Summarize your findings in your own words in a well-organized, concise memo or e-mail addressed to Eric Larson at elarson@arnet.com. Use bulleted lists for some of the information.
Video Resources Video Library 1
Smart E-Mail Messages and Memos Advance Your Career Watch this chapter-specific video for a demonstration of how to use e-mail skillfully and safely. You will better understand the writing process in relation to composing messages. You will also pick up tips for writing messages that advance your career instead of sinking it.
Grammar and Mechanics C.L.U.E. Review 7
Apostrophes and Other Punctuation
Review Guides 31–38 about apostrophes and other punctuation in Appendix A: Grammar and Mechanics Guide (Competent Language Usage Essentials), beginning on page A-14. On a separate sheet, revise the following sentences to correct errors in the use of apostro- phes and other punctuation. For each error that you locate, write the guide number that reflects this usage. The more you recognize the reasons, the better you will learn these punctuation guidelines. If a sentence is correct, write C. When you finish, check your answers on page Key-2.
Example: We needed the boss signature before we could mail the report.
Revision: We needed the boss’s signature before we could mail the report. [Guide 32]
1. All employees cars must display a company parking sticker.
2. Our companys health benefits are available immediately.
3. Will you please send me your latest print catalog.
4. The manager questioned John traveling first class on a recent business trip.
5. Is the bank open until 6 p.m.
6. You must replace the ink cartridge see page 8 in the manual, before printing.
7. Justin wondered whether all sales managers databases needed to be updated.
8. (Direct quotation) Health care costs said the CEO will increase substantially this year.
9. In just two months time, we expect to interview five candidates for the opening.
10. The abbreviation GMT means “Greenwich Mean Time,” doesn’t it.
Chapter 8
Positive Letters and Messages
OBJECTIVES
After studying this chapter, you should be able to
1 Explain why business letters are important and how the three phases of the 3-x-3 writing process relate to creating successful business letters.
2 Analyze the structure and characteristics of good business letters.
3 Write letters that request information or action.
4 Write letters that make direct claims.
5 Write letters that reply directly.
6 Write letters that make adjustments.
7 Write special messages that convey kindness and goodwill.
8 Modify international letters to accommodate other cultures.
© Mike Kemp / Rubberball Productions / Getty Images
Understanding the Power of Business Letters and the Process of Writing
Letters, such as those sent by Ben & Jerry’s to its customers, are a primary channel of com- munication for delivering messages outside an organization. This chapter concentrates on positive, straightforward letters through which we conduct everyday business and convey goodwill to outsiders. Such letters go to suppliers, government agencies, other businesses, and, most important, customers. The letters to customers receive a high priority because these messages encourage product feedback, project a favorable image of the company, and promote future business.
Publisher Malcolm Forbes understood the power of business letters when he said, “A good business letter can get you a job interview, get you off the hook, or get you money. It’s totally asinine to blow your chances of getting whatever you want—with a business letter that turns people off instead of turning them on.”2 This chapter teaches you what turns read- ers on. We will begin by discussing the importance of business letters, reviewing the writing process for business letters, and analyzing the structure and characteristics of letters. Then you will learn to apply this information in writing positive letters that request information, require action, and make straightforward claims. You will also learn to grant claims, comply with requests, and compose goodwill messages. Finally, you will study how to modify your letters to accommodate other cultures.
LEARNING OBJECTIVE 1 Explain why business letters are important and how the three phases of the 3-x-3 writing process relate to creating successful business letters.
LEARNING OBJECTIVE 1 Explain why business letters are important and how the three phases of the 3-x-3 writing process relate to creating successful business letters.
America’s love affair with numbingly rich ice cream may have finally plateaued. Health and weight worries have apparently cut the break- neck growth of superpremium ice creams. However, Ben & Jerry’s Homemade, premier purveyor of the superpremiums, remains one of the country’s most visible ice cream companies.
In growing from a 12-flavor miniparlor in Burlington, Vermont, into a Fortune 500 company called a “national treasure,” Ben & Jer- ry’s has been showered with publicity. The flood of press notices flowed partly from its rapid ascent and its funky flavor hits such as
“Chubby Hubby,” “Half Baked Carb Karma,” “New York Super Fudge Chunk,” “Phish Food,” and “Dilbert’s World Totally Nuts” (butter almond ice cream with roasted hazelnuts, praline pecans, and white fudge-coated almonds). Of even greater media interest was the New Age business philosophy of founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield. Unlike most entrepreneurs, their aim was to build a successful business but, at the same time, be a force for social change.
Some time ago Ben and Jerry resigned their symbolic positions as brand icons after the company was purchased by the Anglo-Dutch mega-conglomerate Unilever. Despite the change in ownership, Ben & Jerry’s continues to try to operate in a way that improves local and global quality of life. The company strives to balance economic, product, and social goals on the way to a sustainable business.
Although no longer locally owned, Ben & Jerry’s is a visible company with a popular national product and a strong social image.
It naturally generates a good deal of correspondence. Customer let- ters typically fall into three categories: (a) “fan” mail, (b) information requests, and (c) claims. Fan mail contains praise and testimonials:
“Tried the new Cherry Garcia Frozen Yogurt and . . . I want to go to Vermont and shake your sticky hands.” Information requests may involve questions about ingredients or food processing. Some letters inquire about Ben & Jerry’s position on milk from cloned cows or eggs from caged chickens. Claim letters generally contain a com- plaint and require immediate response. Responding to customer
© Lon C. Diehl / Photo Edit
Communicating at Work Part 1
Ben & Jerry’s Uses Positive Letters to Sweeten Relations With Customers
letters in all three categories is a critical element in maintaining customer goodwill and market position for Ben & Jerry’s.1 You will learn more about this case on page 218.
Critical Thinking
● Have you ever written a letter or sent an e-mail to a company?
What might motivate you to do so? Would you expect a response?
● If a company such as Ben & Jerry’s receives a fan letter compli- menting products or service, is it necessary to respond?
● Why is it important for companies to answer claim (complaint) letters immediately?
http://www.benjerry.com
Why Business Letters Are Still Necessary
Even with the new media available today, a letter remains one of the most powerful and effec- tive ways to get your message across. Although e-mail is incredibly successful for both internal and external communication, many important messages still call for letters. Business letters are necessary when (a) a permanent record is required; (b) confidentiality is paramount; (c) formal- ity and sensitivity are essential; and (d) a persuasive, well-considered presentation is important.
Business Letters Produce a Permanent Record. Many business transactions require a permanent record. Business letters fulfill this function. For example, when a company enters into an agreement with another company, business letters introduce the agreement and record decisions and points of understanding. Although telephone conversations and e- mail messages may be exchanged, important details are generally recorded in business letters that are kept in company files. Business letters deliver contracts, explain terms, exchange ideas, negotiate agreements, answer vendor questions, and maintain customer relations. Business letters are important for any business transaction that requires a permanent written record.
Business Letters Can Be Confidential. Carefree use of e-mail was once a sign of sophistication. Today, however, communicators know how dangerous it is to entrust confi- dential and sensitive information to digital channels. A writer in The New York Times recently said, “Despite the sneering term snail mail, plain old letters are the form of long-distance communication least likely to be intercepted, misdirected, forwarded, retrieved, or other- wise inspected by someone you didn’t have in mind.”3
Business Letters Convey Formality and Sensitivity. Business letters pre- sented on company stationery carry a sense of formality and importance not possible with e-mail. They look important. They carry a nonverbal message saying the writer considered the message to be so significant and the receiver so prestigious that the writer cared enough to write a real message. Business letters deliver more information than e-mail because they are written on stationery that usually is printed with company information such as logos, addresses, titles, and contact details.
Business Letters Deliver Persuasive, Well-Considered Messages.
When a business communicator must be persuasive and can’t do it in person, a business letter is more effective than other communication channels. Letters can persuade people to change their actions, adopt new beliefs, make donations, contribute their time, and try new products. Direct-mail letters remain a powerful tool to promote services and products, boost online and retail traffic, and solicit contributions. Business letters represent deliberate communication. They give you a chance to think through what you want to say, organize your thoughts, and write a well-considered argument. You will learn more about writing persuasive and marketing messages in Chapter 9.
Applying the 3-x-3 Writing Process to Create Successful Letters
In this book we will divide letters into these groups: (a) routine letters communicating straightforward requests, replies, and goodwill messages, covered in this chapter; (b) per- suasive messages including sales pitches, covered in Chapter 9; and (c) negative messages delivering refusals and bad news, covered in Chapter 10.
Although routine letters may be short and straightforward, they benefit from atten- tion to the composition process. “At the heart of effective writing is the ability to organize a series of thoughts,” says writing expert and executive Max Messmer. Taking the time to think through what you want to achieve and how the audience will react makes writing much easier.4 Here is a quick review of the 3-x-3 writing process to help you think through its application to routine letters.
Phase 1: Analysis, Anticipation, and Adaptation. Before writing, spend a few moments analyzing your task and audience. Your key goals here are (a) determining your purpose, (b) visualizing the audience, and (c) anticipating the reaction to your message.
Too often, letter writers start a message without enough preparation.
Alice Blachly, a veteran letter writer from Ben & Jerry’s, realized the problem. She said,
“If I’m having trouble with a letter and it’s not coming out right, it’s almost always because I haven’t thought through exactly what I want to say.”5 In the Ben & Jerry’s letter shown in Business letters are necessary
for messages that require a permanent record, confi dentiality, formality, sensitivity, and persuasion.
Business letters are necessary for messages that require a permanent record, confi dentiality, formality, sensitivity, and persuasion.
In Phase 1 of the writing process, analyze your purpose, visualize the audience, and anticipate the response.
In Phase 1 of the writing process, analyze your purpose, visualize the audience, and anticipate the response.
Figure 8.1, Blachly responds to a request from a young Ben & Jerry’s customer. Before writing the letter, she thought about the receiver and tried to find a way to personalize what could have been a form letter. Responding to a “fan” letter may seem unnecessary. Research has shown, however, that not responding to a complimentary message may register as rejection.6 FIGURE 8.1 Ben & Jerry’s Reply to Customer Inquiry
1
1 Prewriting 2 Writing 3 Revising
Analyze:The purpose of this letter is to build goodwill and promote Ben & Jerry’s products.
Anticipate:The reader is young, enthusiastic, and eager to hear from Ben & Jerry’s. She will appreciate personalized comments.
Adapt:Use short sentences, cheerful thoughts, and plenty of references to the reader and to her club, school, and request.
Research:Reread the customer’s letter.
Decide which items to enclose and locate them.
Organize:Open directly with a positive response. Explain the enclosed items.
Find ways to make the reader feel a special connection with Ben & Jerry’s.
Compose:Write the first draft quickly.
Realize that revision will improve it.
Revise:Revise the message striving for a warm tone. Use the receiver’s name.
Edit long paragraphs and add bulleted items.
Proofread:Check the address of the receiver. Decide whether to hyphenate cofounder and how to punctuate quotations.
Evaluate:Consider how you would feel if you received this letter.
January 18, 2009
Ms. Jennifer Ball 1401 Churchville Lane Bel Air, MD 21014 Dear Jennifer:
We’re delighted to hear of your Ben & Jerry’s Club at Franklin Middle School and to send the items you request.
Your club sounds as though it resembles its parent in many ways. We, too, can’t seem to control our growth; and we, too, get a little out of control on Friday afternoons. Moreover, the simplicity of your club rules mirrors the philosophy of our cofounder, who says, “If it’s not fun, why do it?”
Enclosed are the following items:
• A list of all flavors available in pints. If you can’t find these flavors at your grocer’s, I’m sending you some “ballots” for your club’s use in encouraging your grocer to stock your favorites.
• The latest issue of Ben & Jerry’s “Chunk Mail.” We’re also putting you on our mailing list so that your club will receive our Chunk Mail newsletter regularly.
We hope, Jennifer, that you’ll soon tour our plant here in Vermont. Then, you can be on an equal footing with your prez and sport one of our tour buttons.
This seems only appropriate for the consensus-building, decision-making model you are pioneering in your Ben & Jerry’s Club!
Sincerely,
Alice Blachly Consumer Affairs
Enc: Flavor list, ballots, Chunk Mail
Personalizes reply and builds goodwill with reference to writer’s letter
Uses receiver’s name to make letter sound conversational and personal
Opens directly with response to customer’s request
Itemizes and explains enclosures requested by customer Ties in cordial closing with more references to customer’s letter
Phase 2: Research, Organization, and Composition. In the second phase, collect information and make a list of the points you wish to cover. For short messages such as an answer to a customer’s inquiry, you might jot your notes down on the document you are answering. For longer documents that require formal research, use a cluster diagram or the outlining techniques discussed in Chapter 5. When business letters carry information that won’t upset the receiver, you can organize them in the direct manner with the main idea expressed immediately. In Alice Blachly’s letter shown in Figure 8.1, she made a scratch outline of the points she wanted to cover before writing.
Phase 3: Revision, Proofreading, and Evaluation. When you finish the first draft, revise for clarity. The receiver should not have to read the message twice to grasp its meaning. Proofread for correctness. Check for punctuation irregularities, typos, misspelled words, or other mechanical problems. Also be sure to look for ways to create high “skim value.” In Figure 8.1 Alice Blachly saw that she could use bullets to highlight two items in- stead of burying them inside a paragraph. Although a good speller, she wouldn’t dream of sending out a letter without using her spell checker. The last step in the 3-x-3 writing process is evaluating the product. Before any letter leaves her desk at Ben & Jerry’s, Blachly always re- reads it and puts herself in the shoes of the reader: “How would I feel if I were receiving it?”
Analyzing the Structure of Business Letters
The everyday transactions of a business consist mainly of routine requests and responses.
Because you expect the reader’s response to be positive or neutral, you won’t need special techniques to be convincing, to soften bad news, or to be tactful. Use the direct strategy, outlined in Chapter 5. In composing routine letters, you can structure your message, as shown in Figure 8.2, into three parts:
● Opening: A statement that announces the purpose immediately
● Body: Details that explain the purpose
● Closing: A request for action or a courteous conclusion In Phase 2 of the writing process,
gather information, make notes or prepare an outline, and compose the fi rst draft.
In Phase 2 of the writing process, gather information, make notes or prepare an outline, and compose the fi rst draft.
In Phase 3 of the writing process, revise for clarity, add graphic highlighting if possible, and proofread for correctness.
In Phase 3 of the writing process, revise for clarity, add graphic highlighting if possible, and proofread for correctness.
LEARNING OBJECTIVE 2 Analyze the structure and characteristics of good business letters.
LEARNING OBJECTIVE 2 Analyze the structure and characteristics of good business letters.
FIGURE 8.2 Three-Part Structure for Routine Requests and Responses
Frontload with main idea. Tell immediately why you are writing.
Explain your request or response. Provide details.
Consider using lists, headings, or columns to improve readability.
Provide courteous conclusion. In requests, tell what action you want. Provide end date if appropriate.
1.
Opening
2.
Body
3.
Closing