DOLCE VITA (French) - Sweet times

Actually I m not in a bad mood, I just wanna follow up her topic that's all.And if she ask for the reason for my feeling down, I can say: "since u r feeling down, how can I ever be happy

DOLCE VITA (French) - SWEET TIMES

I met her on the net, how?

I can't remember, but it seems to me that it is this 'little theory' which

I declared in the cyberspace that caught her attention

"If I have a million dollars, I would buy a house Do I have a million?"

"No That's why I don't have a house."

"If I have wings, I can fly Do I have wings?"

"No So I can never fly."

"If all the waters are drawn out of Pacific Ocean, but it still can't put off the flame of love between us Can all the waters of Pacific Ocean bedrawn off?"

"No That’s why I don't love you."

That's me, a typical science student First, you come up with an

assumption, then you fit a suitable conclusion

If the proposed assumption doesn't stand at all, then everything is justbullshit I guess this is what they call 'unromantic'

But she is an exception She actually mailed me and said that I am an 'interesting' person

'Interesting’? What a word to use on me, it's like using 'faithful' on Mr Clinton I thought this gal must be a low-IQ organism, or suffering from serious brain damage

Anyway, her nick doesn't seems so bad

FLYNDANCE

-That’s quite a unique one

But I was warning myself: Hello, this is the virtual world of Internet Who knows what might be lurking behind a beautiful nick

Talking from experience, most of the time it will be a 'dinosaur' in disguise, the only differences will be whether it is a carnivore or a herbivore But, I know she is way different from a 'dinosaur', she is special

So I guess its time for the appearance of FlyNDance

Ever since she mailed to tell me that I am 'interesting', I was always wishing to meet her in #ajcrr Too bad, lady luck was just not on my side So I can only reply her letter to tell her that I will start to train myself to become an 'interesting' person, just to show that she is far-sighted

She replied my reply, I replied her reply to my reply, she again replied

my reply to her reply blah blah blah

Oh no, I just started a chain-reaction!

Actually what interested me the most is this 'para' she wrote in one of the mails

'I dance slightly, amidst the crowd

Your glance on me be it surprise, be it admiration, It ain't gonna stop

my rhythm

'Cos it's not your glance that made me dance, it's my heart of youth.'

I simply cannot relate this gal to any of the 'dinosaurs'

But if she really is a dinosaur, I am willing to let her have her fill

Tye, my best pal unfortunately, noticed my little affair with FlyNDance,and has been perpetually warning me about this

"HELLO!!! You don't even know what she looks like, why take the risk?Maybe 'she' is a guy!! Haha!!"

I can't blame Tye for his ignorance Ever since he was dumped by Sally in Sec 4, he has become a renowned 'playboy'

As the saying goes: "Once bitten, Twice shy"

In this case, after Tye was bitten, he has mastered the art of skinning snakes alive, and make into soup But he got all the factors to be a playboy, I always think he is the 19 year-old version of Brad Pitt

Tall, handsome and got this tongue that causes diabetes in every women he targets I don't think he can even remember how many girlfriends he had

I went online that night, log onto #ajcrr and Yesh!! She is there!!Before I can get over the surprise and the daze, she sent me a

message

"hey slorr so late liao haven't slept ahh??"

Now what? Now what??!! Ok ok, I had to calm down first I swallowed hard on my saliva, took a few deep breath

Now where is that Tye when I needed him most at such crucial

moment, somebody to tell me what to say to her

How am I going to attract her with my pathetic humour which has gone stale

"slorr me in a foul mood today can't sleep u leh??"

MOTHER'S (direct translation to Chinese), what slorr slorr

now when I read it twice in a row, I am beginning to feel disgusted in that nick Tye gave me Tye said that: "Who knows? It might attract some innocent gals into talking to you Haha "

"I am not feeling very good too so let's sad together."

Finally squeezed a sentence out, but I can already feel droplets of sweat forming on my forehead

Actually I m not in a bad mood, I just wanna follow up her topic that's all.

And if she ask for the reason for my feeling down, I can say:

"since u r feeling down, how can I ever be happy?"

I know it sounds mushy, but Tye said: "MUSHYNESS IS THE

FUNDAMENTAL TO ALL COURTSHIP."

And gals are a very weird species, they trust their ears far more than their eyes

So instead of doing 10 things to impress her, why not just say a

sentence to move her

"ok but u haven't greet me leh "

DAMNIT! How can I forget simple manners to gals To think they call

me 'MR COURTEOUS' in school

If this thing ever leaks out in school, I would lost all my female fans

"nice to meet u miss long-hair "

I've been wishing that she's keeping long hair

Tye said that:

"FlyNDance hmm she would either be long-haired or a desperado, because when gals dance, only 2 parts of them may fly: hair and skirt

So if she doesn't has long hair, that means her skirt flies when she dances, AH-HA!! This has a certain sexual hint in it haha "

"heh? how u know I got long hair?"

BINGO!! Heaven is on my side this time It goes to prove that she is not a DESPERADO Yesh!!

"not only that I also know u seldom wear skirt "

I increased the stake, if I am correct this time, peace on earth forever

"err I guess u r rite lor but how u know one?"

HAHAHAHAHA I m good ahh

"just guess "

"ok lor hey slorr tell u wat me tired liaoz u

coming online tomorrow morning??"

"ya y?? "

Please please please say the u coming too, if not I m going to kill myself for letting u go tonight

"I’ll see ya tomorrow at 10 am then good night "

"er should be today at 10 am ok good night too"

I just blurted out a last sentence

Offline Suddenly I was so impressed by my performance just now.But is the season of spring really arriving for me? I wish

"slorr what a coincidence ahh "

"yeh I m not late."

"ya lor so qiao "

Gals are weird, I thought we already had an arrangement, why do I have to pretend that its not

They must have watched too many movies, and like to think that guys they met due to the thing called 'fate' is the best thing that can

happen to their love life

"slorr u talking nonsense lah "

"NONSENSE??? ok, let me tell u what nonsense Summer's beach, the guy must be good at running, with broad shoulders, dark

complexion with a tint of redness, sparkling eyes and loud laughter.Then he will call out loud the name of the gal, running towards her, carry her and spin 3 rounds anticlockwisely."

"slorr u siao liaoz ahh??"

"I siao? Ok let's change a location then Deep in the mountains, the guy must have long hair, gotta have the look of an artist, carries a sketching stand, a few pieces of drawings, and u can see birds stop over at his side, admiring his work and there will be a gal whose the model most probably naked."

"slorr but these all very romantic mah "

"ROMANTIC?? hello miss romance only survive in novels and movies

In real life, the guy on the beach may step onto broken glass or the gal may be too heavy which tore his arm muscles

Birds may just clear their waste on top of the guy in the mountains, or

he might get a thrashing from the gal because he comments on the excess fats around the waist and hips."

"slorr u hate romance?? "

"I hate romance? nope, I m just using my knowledge of statistic to get

a deduction, that guys must be TALL to be romantic, not HANDSOME!!!some love novels even portrayed the guy as normal looking, but no-one dares to challenge the height of him! I object because I m not tall."

"slorr objection overruled "

I think I am really outstandingly bo liao, talking to her about these until noon

"slorr are u hungry? "

"ya u leh?? "

"yesh guess its time for lunch slorr "

"then do u think we should ??"

"slorr I m just asking I dun intend to have lunch with u "

"ok, good I m not romantic neither are u."

I had lunch with Tye, we talk about the conversation with FlyNDance this morning

"You moron told her you are not romantic you siao ah? you have disgrace we man how can you make such a big

mistake? I I "

Tye grabbed a chicken wing with chopstick, and I can see the

trembling of the hand and the wing

"There are 3 'don'ts' in chasing a gal one don't forget to be

romantic two don't be too honest 3 don't be too stingy on the sugar in our speech noticed number 1, you stupid??

"What rubbish is that? In mandarin we say 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren buai', you should know this "

"This I know, but it has been a controversial topic over centuries Women aren't really that cheap so why would they only falls for 'bad guys' like me??"

"That's because 'bad guys' are usually romantic Those 'nice guys' are usually dumdums so she would rather choose a romantic 'bad guy' rather than any of those dumdums in Maths we call this

romantic "

"Come on, this is so exaggerating."

"Hey most women have a 'knot' for romance just like most men have a 'knot' for virginity to women they just can't understand how precious the thin layer of membrane is to men, same thing, men can't imagine how important women treats romance."

"This is bullshit! How come I've never heard of that."

"The key word is 'knot' if u can untie it fine but how many had actually succeeded in that practically none "

"Ok, fine now I've done it so what should I do to remedy the

situation?"

"Face it you are hopeless already I promise you I'll have a drink

with you when you and her are over "

"YOU SON OF A BITCH."

Mid-night I am trying to concentrate on my Physics notes

F = ma, v = u + at

it's really a wonder that nature can be explained by just a few

formulas and equations, and this we call science

then why is astrology and palmistry being labeled as superstitious?Science should only be one of the ways to explain truth, what can't be explained by Science, it doesn't necessary mean that's its unreal

Close to 1am Since I can't get anything into my head, I shall try my luck on net then, maybe she is there

"slorr u here"

"finally good night to u "

'FINALLY'? Strange word to use it here What is she doing here at this hour? Must be feeling down again

"yes it is fate that brought me to u at this moment "

I am trying very hard to convince her that I m a bit romantic

"slorr nothing to do with fate I waited 4 u 4 one hour liaoz "

"sure or not? for wat? "

"talk to u mah or else I can't sleep "

"u sick izzit? go see doctor lah "

"slorr let's continue our topic wat do u think of relationships began from internet? "

Oh my god how should I answer her now?

"it's it's very romantic "

Indeed I am not a good liar, even my words are shaking now

"slorr u bluffing u not romantic one mah "

GAME OVER!! I m finished! No choice but to drink with Tye

"slorr u lagging? or just daoing me? "

"no I m wondering y is the sky so chio tonight? "

"nonono dun try to shift the topic slorr "

Sigh I give up I asked for it myself

"Actually I think relationships started from cyberspace is considered asROMANTIC, 'coz romance gives pple an impression of unreal, and cyberspace is virtual."

multiple personalities, and in everyday life, what we present to the world is the 'primary personality', with the secondary one being

suppressed, or maybe we don't even realised this other trait of us deep inside So internet is the place where this side of us is revealed, both intentionally or without conscious knowledge."

"izzit true? wat about 2nd type?"

"The 2nd type are those who will transform themselves into the kind ofman/woman he/she would want to be there's bound to be 1 or 2 characteristics that u particularly admire, too bad, sometimes these characteristics are just couldn’t be found in u cyberspace is the

perfect location for this transformation to occur."

"slorr u blowing cow izzit? type 3 leh?"

"I m not blowing cow, I read it from an article of TIMES mag!! type 3 will be those who transform themselves into characters which are impossible for them to become in real life for example, if u r a gal, you may act as a man on net you may even become BATMAN or SUPERMAN if u want."

"hmm that’s pretty amazing "

"the 1st type is the 'faithful' type, 'cos its his own personality that is being presented on net

the 2nd type is the 'foolish' type, 'cos he knows only how to admire others, always forgets his own strong pts

the 3rd type is the 'pathetic' type, 'cos he is wishing 4 some

impossible."

"slorr den u belong to wat type? me leh? "

"I dun wish to believe u r type 3, 'cos I m not I crossed the possibility

of type 1 'cos its too common, because I think u r special being able

to attract u, I think I m at least a bit special So we belong to type 2."

"type2 den who u wish to become? slorr "

I certainly would like to become a person like Tye, humorous, romanticand eloquent, because these are wat I am lacking of

"slorr wat about me? "

"U? I dun know U want to FLY and DANCE, problemably that means

u wish to fully enjoy ur youth while u can but if this is something u wish yet u can't achieve, den there's 2 possibilities: 1, u r aging, 2, u rleaving the world."

I think I said something wrong, because she didn't sent me anymore msg after this I began to blame myself for being so perverted, why talk about these things?

I should have discussed with her whether ZOE or FANN, who should bethe queen of Caldecott Hill damn that TIMES mag, poison my mind Maybe she's lagging so I waited and waited Although it's just a fewminutes, but it felt like several hours I want to apologize, but do not know how to start until she sent me this msg:

"slorr lets meet "

Without hesitation, I used the hand that I had used it over 18 years to wipe my ass, typed 'O-K'

I am supposed to meet FlyNDance tonight, 8pm, at the entrance of Macdonalds, the one beside YMCA that's the best time and place to meet a gal you have never met before, according to Tye, because theywould have taken their dinner by that time which means we can

simply go inside the Mc and have some fries and coke

She will be wearing a whole set of coffee theme attire and I will be wearing my usual blues, this is our way of identification

She told me she is not those 'cute gals' I may think she is, I said nevermind, I am not Brad-Pitt either then she told me she has long ago given up on this hope already

"slorr u r early "

While I was idling, a gal tapped my shoulders from my back Although

I was already mentally prepared for anything that's gonna appear in front of me, I was still astonished by this gal who stood in front of me now

if not for the coffee theme and that 'slorr', I would think she is only asking for directions because she is one of those chio buz that can only

be found on Orchard Road, usually while I am crossing the road

Maybe I suffered from a serious concussion due to the heavy blow, mymind was extraordinarily calm

"Had your dinner right? I think we shall go inside the Mc 1st "

"You are pretty smart huh? a good way to save money indeed "AIYA!~! she knows me soooo well, I can only give her an innocent smile back Since she's so pretty, I ordered 2 LARGE cokes, and even ordered TWO packets of fries

"This time you treat, next time I'll let you treat "

I m not falling for that, miss but I m glad she mentioned 'next time'

"slorr r u disappointed when u saw me just now? "

DISSAPPOINTED? r u drunk?

"why do you think I will be disappointed then? "

"Because I told you I am not cute mah, so you must be quite

disappointed when you saw me "

She is making 0 sense, but I know she is just trying to hint that she's actually cute

"Then why did you have to lie that you are not cute?"

"Slorr I said I am not cute I didn't say I am not pretty "

#$%$##%^*&%$@!!!

"But you are also quite decent looking what its not like what you described to me too "

'DECENT'? a very vague word to many gals, decent = boring

one good thing is that she didn't lie to me about the fact that she is keeping long hair She also has a fair complexion which reminds me of

HL milk I take almost everyday

It is now only that I found out she is from ACJC, but had spent her 1st

3 mths in AJ

sitting in front of each other, we talk about many things from her obsession with coffee to my hobby of watching movies in Btw, she had completely shook off my misconception of 'if she is pretty, she is brainless'

she appears to be an attractive gal, both physically and character wise, talking, smiling to me, occasionally being a little sarcastic and nasty.its like a dream

We left the Mc at around 10 pm since its still early, I decided to send her home and fortunately, its just Ang Mo Kio, two MRT stops from mine I would have a second thought if she's staying at Pasir Ris

"slorr congratulations u r officially permitted to date me from nowon "

She said this b4 the lift door closed Back at home, I realized that I hadn't asked for her real name, maybe its the influence of that stoopidTye

Tye told me :

"never ask a pretty gal her name the 1st time u meet her, 'cos there are oredi too many wolves out there dying to know, so she will be more interested in you if u act bochap "

Then y didn't she ask for mine? dun tell me there's a female version ofTye telling her not to?

it's again 1am time to meet her in ajcrr

"hi! slorr u tired? "

Of 'cos I m tired after all the surprises she presented me, I would go straight for my bed if not for her but y is she here also? isn't she

tired too?

"long time no see how r u? "

"slorr u siao ah? 2 hours only leh miss me? "

"A)yes B)of 'cos C)abuden D)dying to see u E)all of above answer is E

""; "

Seems like she is really tired, even the smiling face are yawning to merite now

"u wanna go for a movie tomorrow? "

Maybe I should ask her now, while she is half asleep, hoping that she will blur-blurly click 'OK'

"should be no problem what show? "

HOOOOORAY!! I m cheering for her fatigue

"we decide what show tomorrow anyway what’s important is watch with who not the show "

Tye's fav line, I m just borrowing it

"; "

"u should go sleep now lah "

"wait one little while u haven't tell me u tired or not? "

"ok lah a bit u leh? "

"I m exhausted but have to say good night to u 1st slorr if not I can't sleep "

"me too "

I can't believe I m doing this SILLY business rite now

"ok I tell u what I count 1,2,3 then we log off together "

"ok good night slorr "

I m not a romantic person, so its perfectly understandable if I can't really appreciate this motion picture fully, except for those stunning special effects But something stroke me when Jack said to Rose before he sank into the deep

"Rose, listen to me listen winning that ticket was the best thing that had happened to me it brought me to u and I m thankful, Rose I m thankful "