Delta''''s key to the toefl test part 33

Approximately one item on the TOEFL may test your ability to recognize redundant words or phrases in sentences.. Tn the following sentences, cross out redundant words and phrases: a.. AT

Students write a list of nouns referring to people and to related activities or things

Example: swimmer, swimming Students use this list to create “TOEFL sentences” to

test their classmates’ ability to check word choice In some but not all of the sentences,

change the noun so that it is incorrect For example, change swimmer to swimming Keep

some of the sentences correct Write either on the board or on cards Classmates must

determine whether there is an error If there is an error, classmates make the correction

Students create “TOEFL sentences” by using words from the lists of confusing words

starting on page 307 In some but not all of the sentences, change the word so that it is

incorrect Keep some of the sentences correct Classmates must determine whether there

is an error If there is an error, classmates make the correction

Students write a list of their own confusing pairs of words Compile a class list Use

words from this list to create more “TOEFL sentences” for practice and review

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2.24 REDUNDANCY

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2.24 Recognizing Redundancy

Q Focus

Read the following pair of sentences Which is better?

It is vital and very important that everyone drink at least eight glasses of water each day

It is vital that everyone drink at least eight glasses of water each day

In the first sentence, there are two expressions with the same meaning Vital means very important

Therefore, very important adds nothing to the sentence It is excessive, or redundant

Now, read another pair of sentences Which is better?

Because nitroglycerin decomposes violently when disturbed, it must be handled cautiously in a careful manner

Because nitroglycerin decomposes violently when disturbed, it must be

If you chose the second sentence, congratulations! You are able to recognize redundancy The phrase

in a careful manner is redundant because it has the same meaning as cautiously

In general, the fewer words, the better! Redundancy is poor writing style

Detta’s Key To THE TOEFL® Test

ụ DO YOU KNOW ?

Approximately one item on the TOEFL may test your ability to recognize redundant words or

phrases in sentences

2 Redundancy occurs when words and phrases exceed what is necessary One type of redundancy

oceurs when a sentence has two words with the same meaning Redundant words add no new

information Look at this example:

First and original have almost the same meaning; therefore, one of them is redundant

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Can you add any redundant expressions to the above list?

3 Redundancy occurs when words are repeated unnecessarily Look at this example:

By 1970 Japan produced half of the world’s ships, ranked second in automobile

manufacturing, and Japan was known to be third in steel production

It is redundant to repeat the subject, Japan You, the reader, already know that Japan is being

discussed Also, known to be is unnecessary because it adds no new information To improve

the sentence, omit both underlined expressions

Tn the following sentences, cross out redundant words and phrases:

a People generally do not like to repeat their mistakes again

b Driver inattention is a factor in contributing to half of all auto accidents, and things are

expected to get worse

c The Black Mesa serves as a huge, giant water reservoir, collecting rainwater from its

extensive surface

(Answers: a again; b contributing to; c either huge or giant)

Remember, redundancy makes poor writing! In your own writing, beware of using redundant

words and phrases

Deta’s Key 10 THE TOEFL® Test 315

2.24 REDUNDANCY

4 ATOEFL item may test you by having a redundant word or phrase Look at this example:

Chimpanzees have a wide range of cails which serve to communicate and convey some types of information

The phrase and convey is redundant because it has the same meaning as communicate; therefore,

it adds no new information Correction: omit and convey

J2 PRACTICE

Exercise 2.24.A

Choose the one word or phrase that must be changed for the sentence to be correct

1, The use of machine guns in World War I led to a long stalemate in the trenches, with neither side being

able to advance its lines ahead

2 Unlike a roller, a wheel requires an axle on which to turn, so the potter’s wheel was the first earliest

true wheel

3 It is necessary and required that dental technicians and others who work with X—rays limit their

exposure to these highly penetrating rays

D

4, Because of the crowded and filthy conditions on the slave ships, fatal diseases that took many lives

were rampant

5 Puerto Ricans in the United States are a young and growing population whose numbers are increasing,

and the Puerto Rican community is becoming more politically active

6 Once you have finished an article and identified its main ideas, it may not be necessary to reread it again

7 Under Otto von Bismarck, Germany joined together with Austria-Hungary and Italy to create the

Triple Alliance

8 After a method was invented for amplifying recorded dialogue and music so it could be heard throughout

a theater, technology for sound films progressed forward

316 Deita’s KEY To THE TOEFL® Test

9 If the air is sufficiently unstable enough, the upward currents will draw in warm, moist air and cause

water vapor to condense into raindrops

D

10 In addition to oil refining and international banking, Panama is also known for growing bananas,

pineapples, and sugar

Answers to Exercise 2.24.A are on page 652

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1 Students create “TOEFL sentences” to test their classmates’ ability to recognize

redundancy Students write sentences with redundant words and phrases Use a

student-generated list or the list of redundant expressions on page 315 Write the

sentences either on the board or on cards Classmates must identify the redundancy

and improve the sentence

2 Redundancy contest for teams of 2 to 3 The object is to see which team can write

the best redundant sentence! Begin with this sentence: People eat and sleep Now,

add to it! Be creatively redundant! Teams share their sentences with the class Decide

which team should win an award for the sentence that is (a) the funniest, (b) the

Quiz 12

ASSESSING PROGRESS — 2.22 through 2.24

Quiz 12 (Time - 10 minutes)

Choose the one underlined word or phrase that must be changed for the sentence to be correct

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The U S Environmental Protection Agency consistent ranks indoor air pollution among the top

five environmental risks to public health

Whenever the early Chinese selsmograph pieked up tremors #om an earthquake, balls would roll

off the instrument, indicating from which director the vibrations had come

Aread-only memory chip stores data even when the power is off, and alike a random—access

memory chip, it contains a grid of cells connected by data lines

Esteemed in Europe as a symbol of pure, the woolly—white edelweiss flower is protected by law

in Switzerland

A founding member of Roxy Music, Brian Eno went on to work as a solo artistic and a collaborator

with David Bowie, Devo, and others

D A flashing yellow traffic signal means one must slow down and proceed forward with caution,

watching for pedestrians, vehicles, or other hazards

The balance of international payments reference to all the transactions between a nation and the

rest of the world

D

Six tribal groups make up almost of the population of Mali, an African nation where sixty—five percent

of the population is Muslim

Unlikely the mobile crane, the tower crane does not expand like a telescope; instead, it extends itself

section by section

During the eighth century, the Mayan Empire to achieve magnificent cultural and economic heights

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Showroom models wear clothes the manufacturers hope to_sell to buyers who come to the showroom,

while another fashion models work in department stores

D

Between 1900 and 1910, almost nine million immigrants entered into the United States, most of whom

came from southern and eastern Europe

The autopilot of an aircraft keeps it on the same course by correcting for any drifting that occurrence

during the flight

D

The formation of the United Nations was an attempt to unite the nations of the world in a single,

cooperate, deliberative forum for the peaceful resolution of disputes

Some Americans stay in a single occupation while the period from seventeen to thirty-five years

of age, but the majority make at least a few job changes

Answers to Structure Quiz 12 are on page 652

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2.25 PARALLEL STRUCTURE

2.25 Recognizing Parallel Structure

Q Focus

Read the following pair of sentences Which is better?

The beaver is a large rodent with dark brown fur, a black scaly tail, and it also has large front teeth

The beaver is a large rodent with dark brown fur, a black scaly tail, and large

These sentences describe the beaver by listing some of its characteristics: dark brown fur, a black

scaly tail, and large front teeth

In the first sentence, the phrase it also has is redundant and also interferes with parallel structure

Sentences have parallel structure when they contain structures that are similar in form and position

The second sentence has parallel structure Here, three noun phrases are parallel: dark brown fur, a

black scaly tail, and large front teeth

Now, read another pair of sentences Which is better?

Bob Marley’s songs not only inspired his followers in Jamaica but also

an audience all over the world

Bob Marley’s songs not only inspired his followers in Jamaica but also

Both sentences have the two-part conjunction, not only but also The structures following

the two parts of this conjunction should be similar in form and function

In-the first sentence, these structures are inspired his followers in Jamaica and an audience all over

the world These structures are not parallel

The second sentence has two verb phrases that are parallel:

inspired his followers in Jamaica

found an audience all over the world

Sentences with parallel structure are less redundant, more balanced, and easier to read

320 DELrA'e Key TO THE TOEFL® Test

vi DO YOU KNOW ?

At least two items on the TOEFL will test your ability to recognize parallel structure You must

be able to recognize structures that are parallel and those that are not parallel

2 The structures in a list or series should be parallel Parallel structures have the same value, that is,

the same form (part of speech) and position (function in the sentence)

Use parallel structures in lists that are joined with and, but, and or Look at some examples:

Nouns:

Inertia is a resistance to motion, exertion, or change

Gerunds:

Writing, editing, and proofreading involve skills that can be improved by training

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Adjectives:

The best buys are low in price but high in value

Verb Phrases:

Some of the biggest problems a gardener experiences are plants that grow out of bounds,

become misshapen, or remain sparse

Prepositional Phrases:

The great blue heron is frequently seen along harbors or near suburban lakes

Adverb Clauses:

Friction appears when a solid object rubs against another, or when it moves through

a gas or liquid

Note: Main clauses that are related in meaning should be parallel in structure whenever possible

Look at these examples:

The wolf is highly social, but the fox is relatively solitary

Single life offers more freedom of choice; marriage provides more security

In the following sentences, underline the structures that are parallel

a After locating prey by scent or sound, the cougar slinks forward slowly and silently

b Kinetics is the study of the forces that produce, stop, or modify motions of the body

c Jogging, riding a bicycle, and walking briskly all provide an aerobic workout

d Some travelers like to plan where to go, what to do, and how much to spend before they

leave home

(Answers: a parallel: scent, sound; slowly, silently; b parallel: produce, stop, modify,

c parallel: jogging, riding a bicycle, walking briskly, d parallel: where to go, what to do,

how much to spend)

2.25 PARALLEL STRUCTURE

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A TOEFL item may try to trick you by having a list with structures that are not parallel Look at

this example:

Many native plants have been depleted because of lumbering, to farm,

To farm is not parallel to the other items in the list, ambering and grazing Correction: farming

The structures following the parts of two-part conjunctions should be parallel (See 2.20) Use

parallel structures with these conjunctions:

Both the physical environment and the social structure of the South were changed

by the Civil War

When the beaver fells a tree, it either eats the bark or stores it for winter use

A TOEFL item may try to trick you by having structures that are not parallel after the parts of a

conjunction Look at this example:

When Guglielmo Marconi demonstrated his wireless telegraph, he was thinking not about broadcasting but he thought about rapid communication

Which underlined word or phrase must be changed for the sentence to be correct? If you chose

he thought, you were correct The structure following not is a prepositional phrase, about

broadcasting The structure following but must be parallel Correction: omit he thought

The sentence should read: When Guglielmo Marconi demonstrated his wireless telegraph, he was

thinking not about broadcasting but about rapid communication

Look at another example:

Humidity not only determines what kind of weather we have, it also - C> regulates our comfort

C_) our comfort is regulated C_) the regulation of our comfort

The structures that follow the two parts of not only (but) also should be parallel The first

answer choice, the verb phrase regulates our comfort, best completes the sentence because it is

parallel to determines what kind of weather we have

Why are the other answer choices incorrect?

Detta’s Key T0 THE TOEFL® Test