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Woman, incorporating Woman’s Illustrated and Woman’s Mirror, is a Registered Trademark of TI Media Limited Cover printed by

Walstead UK Limited, text printed by Walstead UK Limited Repro by Rhapsody Prepress Published by TI Media Limited, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP Distributed by Marketforce (UK) Ltd, a TI Media Limited company, 2nd Floor, 5 Churchill Place, Canary Wharf, London E14 5HU Tel: +44 (0)20 3787 9001 Back issues: 01795 662976; support@mags-uk.com or order at http://mags-uk.com/browse-by-publisher/ ti-media.html All prices correct at time of going to press ©TI Media Limited, 2019 All rights reserved and reproduction without permission

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As I am sure you are aware from the packed shelves in the supermarkets and on the high street, Mother’s Day is just around the corner So if you’re in need of some gift inspiration, we can help!

On p18 there are 21 ideas from just

£4, plus affordable pampering treats on p29 and from p40 we have three delicious treats to bake for her What I’m hoping for from

my two daughters is a very special money-can’t-buy

gift – a lie-in!

Catherine Westwood, Editor-in-Chief

YOUR NEWS

4 What A Week! William, ‘I don’t want

to be King,’ plus the week’s celeb news

6 Cover Story Tess and Vernon: Experts

reveal why the pair are struggling

8 Celebrity Odd couples

11 Celebrity Gok Wan interview:

‘Fearne is the best dressed celeb’

12 Celebrity Jeff on Jade: ‘I can never

replace their mum’

14 Celebrity Style on trial

16 Talking About Is 50 the new 15?

62 View From The Back

YOUR LIFE

18 Let’s Shop! Gifts for Mum

25 Don’t Tell Me I Can’t…

… enter a beauty pageant

26 Real Life Adult autism:

I always knew I was different

32 Recipes Slim down for spring, plus

join Slimming World for free

36 Real Life I dropped 8st in weight

and followed my dreams

42 Real Life Hooked on tablets:

Meet the five-year-old addicts

53 Real Life The picture that

means so much

21 Fashion Fashion maths

22 Fashion 10 of the best wide-leg

trousers around

29 Beauty Mother’s Day luxe for less

30 Beauty Get thicker hair today

YOUR TIME

38 Food News Hot buys to try

40 Recipes Bake Mum a special treat

44 Homes Pastel geometrics

46 Ask The Experts Relationship, family,

medical and pet problems resolved

50 Travel The secrets of Provence

54 Bingo Win with us!

58 Books & Puzzles

60 On The Box What to watch

tricks and offers

Log on to

twitter.com/

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to discover the latest news

and tweet back your thoughts

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WE BRING YOU THIS WEEK’S LATEST GOSSIP

4 WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK

Tamzin Outhwaite’schihuahua, Pip, may betiny, but this cute pup hasbags of character

WE ASKED YOU ON TWITTER:

After the Loose Women

discussed the amount of homework given to school children, we asked you: Should homework be banned?

Prince William may be the perfect royal

example these days,

but he hasn’t always been

happy with having his life

mapped out for him

Broadcaster Jeremy

Paxman has revealed that

the late Princess Diana

once told him of William,

36, and Prince Harry’s

conflicting opinions over

taking the throne

He explained, ‘She said

William often told her that

he didn’t really want to be

King, and then Harry would

say, “If you don’t want the job I’ll have it.”’

This isn’t the first time there’s been talk about William’s feelings about being monarch,

as royal biographer Gil Knappett claimed he wants to let his father Charles reign first

She wrote, ‘Prince William does not wish

to take the throne early He has said

he has no desire to

“climb the ladder of kingship” before his time.’

WANT TO BE KING’

Princess Diana was very aware of how her sons felt

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MAN OF THE SIMON PEGG

Where did those abs come from?

The former geek is becoming a hunk!

Royal quote of the week

‘LOOK MUMMY, I’M DIVING IN!’

Princess Charlotte to the Duchess of Cambridge on

a family swimming trip in Norfolk.

After being axed from Britain’s Got

Talent, it’s been revealed that Lisa

Armstrong is heading to Essex to glam

up the stars of The Only Way Is Essex.

‘As well as her regular stint on

Strictly, TOWIE is another opportunity

which she has grabbed with both hands,’ revealed a source ‘Everyone was delighted with how it went and they will be using her again lots.’

Lisa, 42, could probably do with the

distraction after reports that

er ex-hubby Ant McPartlin,

3, has moved in with new

SHIRLEY, ‘I NEARLY DIED!’

Strictly’s Shirley Ballas revealed

she cheated death climbing

Kilimanjaro for Comic Relief.

The head judge, 58, almost

fell off the mountain

and suffered altitude

sickness, which left

her vomiting and

hallucinating that

her dead brother

was talking

to her It was a tough

climb for Shirley

on her work Loved-up Anne- Marie and Ant

NEIL, ‘I FORGIVE KATYA’

Their marriage hit the headlines when Katya Jones was pictured

snogging Strictly partner

Seann Walsh, but Katya,

29, says that her husband Neil, 36, comforted her after the scandal ‘The hate made me very sad,’

she said ‘I look at everything as a massive learning process.’ While Neil added, ‘I can accept people make mistakes.’

BABY WILL BE A BRIDE After two decades together, Emma Bunton is finally set to tie the knot with Jade Jones The Spice Girl, 43, was seen dashing into Enfield Register Office to give notice of their intent to marry

The wedding is rumoured to be

at London’s Old Marylebone Town Hall this year – seven years after they got engaged.

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6 WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK

The photogenic TV couple have it all – or at

least that’s how it seems to the outside world

Appearing together on the red carpet, there could hardly be

a more perfect couple than

Tess Daly and Vernon Kay.

Married for 16 years, with two

daughters and a country mansion, they

have even maintained their enviable

figures despite the passing years

But what lay behind the smiles as they

posed for the cameras at the BAFTAs?

Leading body language expert Judi

James tells us Tess and Vernon come

across as ‘rigid and lacking in what we

call “Relationship Narrative”’

‘There are almost no tie-signs openly

visible – those little glances, grins and

touches,’ she says ‘And though they are

smiling, their grins do look rather fixed.’

Whatever may have gone on that night,

it was a rare joint appearance for a couple

who have weathered their share of

storms since tying the knot in 2003

television on Strictly Come

Dancing, and she shares

a picture-perfect home with Vernon and their girls Phoebe, 14, and Amber, nine, in Buckinghamshire.

With their own private swimming pool and

a menagerie of pets (they even have two Shetland ponies), the couple often post images of their gilded life on social media.

‘If it looks too good to be true of course it isn’t quite

like that,’ a long-standing friend tells us ‘Tess and Vernon have the same ups and downs as any couple.

‘Tess is ambitious but dedicated to her family, and she definitely doesn’t suffer fools gladly But Vernon

is prone to behaving like

a fool, as he’s shown in the most public way possible.’

Tess with one

of the family’s Shetland ponies

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PAINFUL MEMORIES

Tess was devastated when, back

in 2010, Vernon was caught up

in a sexting scandal The tabloids revealed he had been exchanging raunchy messages with Rhian Sugden, a busty glamour model

17 years Tess’ junior, plus three other women.

The scandal blew up again in 2016 when it emerged Vernon was back

in touch with Rhian, but Tess forgave all when he said the messages were taken ‘out of context’.

According to Judi James, however, the signs are there that they aren’t out of the woods yet – especially when compared to Tess’ warm

relationship with Strictly co-host and

great mate Claudia Winkleman.

‘For Tess, her body language with Vernon is a world away from the fun and way less formal pose she performs with Claudia,’ says Judi

‘Here she leans in and relaxes, with a much more congruent-looking smile.’

For those who have known

the couple throughout

their 18-year relationship,

concerns were always

there about their very

different characters.

Tess will turn 50 in

April, and while Vernon is

understood to be organising

a big celebration, he will

celebrate his 45th birthday

just a day later, so is eager

not to be left out.

‘Those are their

mathematical ages – in

terms of mental age Tess

is at least a generation

older,’ adds the pal.

‘Tess does yoga and

meditates every day – she’s

even got the girls doing it

And when it’s Strictly season

she is ridiculously busy, so

the mindfulness really helps

her stay grounded.

‘But Vernon is still a big kid who sits there watching the snooker and playing

“innuendo bingo” It’s like he’s still stuck in one of those lads’ magazines from the 1990s.

‘Back in the day Tess used to find it funny Now she just rolls her eyes Of course she loves him but there might be a big part

of her who just wishes he would grow up at last.’

With Vernon deep into planning Tess’

50th birthday extravaganza, there is every reason to expect the spectacular.

Whether it will be enough to loosen

up their ‘rigid’ body language, however, remains to be seen.

The couple

on their wedding day in 2003

Rhian Sugden, left, exchanged flirty messages with Vernon; Tess with

Strictly pal Claudia

Winkleman, right

Cover Story

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DavidHasselhoff

In true fairy-tale style,

Hollywood star David fell

for ex-shop worker Hayley

Roberts when they met while

filming Britain’s Got Talent in

Cardiff in 2011 The Baywatch

actor, 66, and his wife, 38, who

wed in July 2018, refuse to let

their age gap get in the way,

with David gushing, ‘Hayley

has married me for me and

it’s a great moment.’

Melanie Sykes & Steve Coogan

In what is one of the most recent and arguably unusual celebrity unions, fitness enthusiast Melanie, 48,

is said to be ‘smitten’

with actor and fellow Northerner, Steve, 53, after she caught his eye at a screening for his latest movie.

DATING

TOGETHER

6 YEARS

Meet the celebrity odd couples who prove that

one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to love

OPPOSITES

ATTRACT

MARRIED

8 MONTHS

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a New York Rangers game

Get a room, you two!

Catherine Tate &

Jason Orange

Ex-Take That star Jason, 48, and comedian Catherine, 49, shared a fleeting romance in

2011, after meeting on Comic Relief But as the relationship

attracted more attention, the couple parted ways.

Jerry Hall &

Rupert Murdoch

Former model Jerry is clearly drawn to an older, powerful man After

a four-month romance, Rupert, 88, proposed to Jerry, 62, with a ring worth

a whopping £2.4 million They tied the knot soon after, in what is Rupert’s fourth marriage Hopefully it’s also his last.

TV personality Vanessa and

singer Ben first met in 2001,

after being introduced by

mutual friend Keith Duffy

of Boyzone Vanessa, 57,

and Ben, 46, recently

admitted they like to keep

things ‘fresh, sexy and

mysterious’ by spending just

two nights a week together

in bed If you say so!

ENGAGED

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Enjoy 25% off

a relaxing two night Spring break at selected hotels

£60 off your first order

of delicious wine from

Free 60 days membership

to Fabyouless hair and

off ticket prices

Fabulous free shave set from grüum

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WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK 11

Celebrity stylist Gok

Wan shares his top

fashion tips for spring

Gok Wan has been a fashion guru to women since he first burst

onto our screens and urged

us to love our bodies in the

classic noughties C4 makeover

show How to Look Good Naked.

A mainstay presenting fashion

segments on This Morning, Gok, 44,

opens up to Woman about what we

should be wearing this summer – and

just how much he wants to get hitched…

Hi, Gok! What should women be

wearing this spring?

If you can find the guts, then go as loud

and as bright as possible Pick colours

and prints that are bold – this season’s

style is landscaped and picturesque

Play around with slogans and words

on clothes, too Neon is big, and so are

florals, graphics and geometric prints

It’s all about colour fun this season

Who do you think is the best-dressed woman in the world?

It has to be Fearne Cotton She is killing

it – she looks really sharp She always looks so beautiful

Are you dating at the moment?

I’m always auditioning I haven’t trieddating apps yet, but I’ve had friends tell

me that I should I’m not against them,

but I prefer your more traditionalroute – heading out for drinks with someone you’ve met in real life. 

Would you like to get married?

I would love to – I want a massivewedding in a castle in Scotland, with

a huge stage and DJs up there all night.It’ll be a massive party I’m a massivecontrol freak and I’d be a bit of a groomzilla

Which celeb is your best drinking buddy?

[Actress] Sally Lindsay is amazing Wedrink the same amount and are the same

nd of drunk – loud and dancey Actually,

he can probably drink more than me!

ou’re presenting the new series

f Say Yes To The Dress Lancashire

an you tell us all about it?

We’re helping brides find their dreamress and we also talk to them aboutheir lives and body confidence I’m soroud of the show – I think that it willmake people cry as some of the womenave such heart-wrenching stories

Say Yes To The Dress Lancashire

tarts Friday 22 March, 9pm on TLC

Fearne looks

so beautiful, says Gok Gok taught

women to love their bodies

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Jeff Brazier may have only dated Jade Goody for two years, but in that time

they welcomed sons Bobby and

Freddie, binding them together

forever So when Jade died from

cervical cancer in 2009 at just 27, Jeff,

now 39, was left to pick up the pieces…

WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK

12

It’s been 10 years since

her death, but Jade

Goody’s sons are still

learning how to cope

THE NIGHT

‘Jade sent me a sign

Jade leaves the Big Brother

house in 2002, above, and

on the day before her wedding in 2009, left

SHE DIED’

Trang 14

be all and everything

I can for them I can

never replace their mum,’

said Jeff ‘It’s a sense of

identity that they lose

because you find out a lot about

who you are in life through who

your mum is and who your dad is.’

Bitter feelings

Jade, who shot to fame on the third

series of Big Brother in 2002, was

diagnosed with the disease in 2008,

and by then it was too advanced to

treat Jeff previously

together when she

got ill so I don’t know whether

it was forgetfulness or fear

‘Jade was this amazing,

larger-than-life character and

she had so many wonderful

qualities, but organisation

wasn’t one of them.’

And, understandably, Jeff still

gets upset about Bobby, 15, and

14-year-old Freddie having their

mum stolen away from them by

cancer ‘My boys have grown

up without the mother who

adored them, and they suffer

for it every single day,’ he said

‘I try not to be bitter about it but

sometimes I do get angry.’

Breaking the news

Of course, Jeff, with the support

of his wife Kate Dwyer, does

everything he can to help the boys

cope, but it’s not always easy The

TV presenter was also the one

who had to break the news to

y edd e hen theywere still so young

Jeff said, ‘How do you explain what terminal, or life-threatening – which is a better term for

that really – means to a four and a five-year-old?’

But Jeff insists Jade sent him

a sign the night she died, which helped him break the news

to their sons He explained, ‘I just remember we told them the whole time that mum was going

to be a beautiful, bright star in the sky, rising up to heaven and she was going to go and do

a very important job.’

Revealing that he waited ntil bedtime to tell them, Jeff ontinued, ‘I thought it was

he best time of night, and robably bought myself a little

b t time to be honest And there was one big brilliant bright star out there, which kind of just made

it that bit easier… thanks Jade

‘And I took them outside, they saw it, they knew themselves –

“That’s Mummy, isn’t it?”’

Continued supportThey might be teenagers now and seem all grown up, but Jeff knows his boys still need a certain level

of support when it comes to dealing with the loss of Jade

‘They’ve lost that big character that was their mum,’ he said

‘Someone who would have given them twice as much unconditional love as they receive It’s hard on the kids.’

Jade and Jeff were

With her boys Bobby and Freddie in 2006

Jeff with Freddie and Bobby

Trang 15

goes on yet another one of his rants!

The actress may be quitting Corrie to pursue other roles, but

we can’t wait to see what she does next If this gorgeous colourful suit is anything to go by, her future’s bright!

This leaves us green with envy! Susanna has a knack of

wearing gorgeous clothes in vibrant colours to say Good

Morning Britain when we’re barely out of our PJs

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15 WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK

KATY PERRY ALESHA DIXON CATE BLANCHETT

We’re getting Cruella de Vil vibes from the pop star

The Dalmatians might be missing but we can give Katy 101 reasons why this isn’t a good look

Britain’s Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon looks like

she belongs on a sweet stall at the seaside with this stripy pink and black number Stick of rock, anyone?

Did Cate get trapped in the Changing Rooms because she’s channelling 90s-era Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen with this garish green mix

Trang 17

16 WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK

As Halle Berry unveils

a full back tattoo at

the age of 52, Woman

Posing in front of the kitchen hob, with a pan in one hand and an

egg in the other, Halle Berry looks anything but the picture of quiet domesticity With nothing but a sequin skirt on, the actress showcases her new back tattoo of a giant vine clambering up her naked body ‘Who says I’m not a mermaid?’ reads the Instagram caption It’s the kind of body art you’d expect of a rebellious teen, not a 50-something mum-of-two.

But she’s not the only ‘midster’

celebrity embracing her naughty streak

Supermodel Cindy Crawford recently explained why, at 53, she’s not planning

on shying away from the camera any time soon, and even posed naked in a series of risqué shots for an upcoming art exhibition Then there’s actress Judi Dench’s ‘Carpe Diem’ tattoo that she got for her 81st birthday as a present from her daughter and even 62-year-old Doria Ragland’s nose piercing It seems when it comes to embracing our inner teenager in later life, we should all be taking leaf from Halle Berry’s book, as

one Woman reader reveals

Is 50 the

NEW 15?

Trang 18

Talking About

‘WE’RE NOT SELF-CONSCIOUS

TEENS’

‘IT’S A DECLARATION OF THE FACT WE KNOW WHO WE ARE’

‘You’re not leaving my house looking like that!’ my dad bellowed But the more he objected, the more I delighted

in flouting his rules – even sneaking out

to punk gigs after he’d gone to bed.

I hadn’t particularly loved punk – or pink – to be honest My behaviour had more to do with my urge to separate myself from the compliant girl of my childhood Luckily, something valuable came out of my teenage phase, and

I discovered a passion for singing.

After graduating university I got

a job in the film industry and I spent much of my 20s touring London clubs

as a singer In 1988, I met my husband and, after getting married, Josh was born in 1992 and Gabriel in 1994 The demands of family life took over and

my singing fell to the wayside, along with my punk rock aesthetic.

As I settled into professional, sensible adulthood – with all the responsibilities of

a mortgage, marriage, and a burgeoning new career in PR – the thought of keeping the excitement

of my 20s alive sounded exhausting.

Then, in 2001, my husband and

I divorced And when my boys flew the nest for university a few years later,

I recognised opportunities I'd never even considered before Taking early retirement, I threw myself into new ventures, like an exciting tech start-up, and a social enterprise for female

entrepreneurs I even signed up for singing lessons and started performing dirty blues at a club in Camden.

A few months later, I found myself reminiscing about my old punk rock days, and the urge to do something bold and daring with my look re- surfaced Only this time, I was wiser.

I experimented with semi-permanent dye, before finally committing to an ombré-effect look It was infinitely more stylish than my teenage efforts.

My parents were just as unimpressed.

‘You’re a 55-year-old woman,’ my mum sighed ‘Why do you feel the need to rebel like this?’ But the truth is I didn’t see it as a rebellion, not in the way I did

as a teenager Mid-life rebelliousness

is far more significant It’s an act of self-celebration; a declaration of the fact we know who we are, and we’ve earned the right to do what we want.

Three years on, I’m still sporting my pink hair Even my sons have now admitted it suits me People say 50 is the new 15, and in some ways I agree.

What makes the second wave better

is that we’re not self conscious teens anymore So although the piercings and tattoos might look the same, they’re anything but the hallmarks

of insecurity they once were. WO

to Prince Harry.

WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK 17

Suzanne Noble, 58, lives in London, and runs social enterprise Advantages

of Age

Reading my book

on the train, I couldn't help but notice the stares of people

around me I knew what they were

looking at – my striking pink dye job

At 55, it wasn’t your typical, middle-

age hairstyle But so what? After 30

exhausting years of raising a family and

building a career, I was done with

being sensible Now it was my turn to

have fun – and my bubblegum locks

were just the beginning.

In 2016, I decided to

ditch my blonde bob for

something more defiant

My sons Josh, then 24,

and Gabriel, 22, were

mortified ‘You can’t dye

your hair pink!’ they

cried ‘It’s bad enough you’re on

Tinder.’ But I couldn’t care less

Growing up in the 1970s, my father

worked in banking, while my mum had

a successful career in marketing As

such, our household was very

straight-laced My brothers and I were expected

to study hard and obey our parents So

when I trundled downstairs at 15 with

vibrant pink hair and a Gang of Four

T-shirt, they were far from impressed

‘IF YOU’RE UP FOR IT – GO FOR IT!’

Woman's agony aunt

Suzie Hayman says

‘We know and expect adolescence to be a natural age of rebellion But your 50s are another transition point, when a surplus of free time, disposable income and hard-earned confidence become available to you Take the Marrakesh Express, get that tattoo, dance naked

in the moonlight! The difference between you and a teenager is you’re more likely to embark on your acts

of rebellion with care – no drunken joy-riding – and with no-one but your unadventurous self to rebel against But listen to the advice you give your own teenagers Remember that

a tattoo is forever, a dye job lasts for ages and naked dancing could get you quite a reputation in the local area But if you’re up for it – go for it!’

CINDY CRAWFORD

The model isn’t ready to cover up

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JUDI DENCH

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for her birthday

a few years ago

by her daughter.

Trang 19

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Trang 26

DON’T TELL ME I CAN’T…

When the presenter calls my name I throw back my

shoulders and stride onto stage with practised confidence My purple evening gown glistens under the stage

lights as I aim a dazzling smile at the

audience to rapturous applause I stand

next to the other Miss Galaxy UK

contestants, taking in the moment and

enjoying every second If you’d told me

a few years ago, that I’d be standing

here competing in a beauty pageant at

50, I would never have believed you.

Although entering a beauty pageant

was never something I dreamt about

doing, I’ve always been drawn to the

glamorous things in life

I had a career in sales, but in my spare

time I’d work as an extra in soaps and

films, dreaming of one day becoming

a household name But when I fell

pregnant with my son Tom in 2001, that

all went on hold so I could care for him

When Tom was four, his dad and I split

and I returned to my job in

sales and hosted exchange

students to support us, but

one day a week I still worked

as an extra on Emmerdale.

As the years passed, keen

to set a good example for

Tom, I worked hard, juggling

three jobs Then in November 2017,

I was having lunch with my friend Avril

when she suggested something that

made me laugh ‘You should enter an

online photography competition for

MAC make-up,’ she said ‘You have such

a beautiful smile!’ I was flattered by Avril’s

suggestion and that night I looked up

the competition online Reasoning I had

nothing to lose I submitted a few photos

Shany Hagan wanted

to inject a touch of

glamour into her life

A few ysurprise, I got a call telling me thatout of 3,000 entries I’d won I listened,stunned, as they explained I’d beenentered to represent the UK in theFace Of The World beauty pageant inBirmingham at the end of the month

‘But you’re a mum!’ Tom, then 17, saidwhen I told him ‘So what?’ I laughed

‘You can be fabulous no matter how oldyou are or how many kids you have!’

On the day of the competition, though,

I started to have second thoughts

Surrounded by 20somethings, I was byfar the oldest in the room But, as we went through a morning of training on how

to walk properly and got ourhair and make-up done,

I chatted to the other girlsand everyone was lovely

And when it was my turn tostrut in front of the judges,

I summoned all my courageand I loved every second of it– I even made it to the finals And, eventhough I didn’t win, it didn’t matter

Encouraged by the other contestants,

I entered Miss Galaxy UK in March 2018

When the day arrived, I was nervous, butthe other contestants – who again weremostly in their 20s – were so supportive

When it was time for the swimsuitround, I confidently walked on stage

in my favourite black bikini

I was honoured to win the title of MissCongeniality – an award that went to themost kind and genuine contestant, votedfor by the audience and contestants.Since then I have come third in SmileUniverse 2019 in Russia, and will beentering a number of other pageantsthis year Most happen at the weekend, soI’m able to fit them in around my work

At every contest there’s an interview round Each time the judges

ask why I’d like to win,

I always tell them thesame thing – it’s notabout winning, Isimply want to provethat beauty is ageless

‘I HAD NOTHING

TO LOSE’

25 WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK

Yes, you can

BUT REMEMBER…

The cost of outfits and travelling to different competitions can be quite expensive, so make sure you budget.

Confidence is key, especially when walking across a stage in just a swimsuit,

so make sure you practise.

Just taking part can be fun – go to starnow.co.uk for a list of upcoming pageants and competitions.

enter a beauty

pageant

Shany with son Tom, left, and in last year’s Miss Galaxy UK contest

Trang 27

26 WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK

Louise Tuley spent years battling an

uncontrollable panic before she was finally

diagnosed with Asperger syndrome Watching my 12-year-old daughter Ruby talk to her

friends, I felt a pang Staring

at the ground and fidgeting, she was clearly struggling

to interact — and I knew from bitter experience just how hard that was I’d always had a feeling that I was different

Louise with son

George, 15, and

daughter Ruby, 12

Trang 28

to help her cope

‘I FELT AT ODDS WITH THE WORLD’

‘I WAS REFERRED FOR TESTS’

kids were in pain or upset, as if I was taking on their hurt

It was especially bad with my daughter,

as she was diagnosed with the genetic connective condition Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) when she was two, which meant she suffered from muscle pain a lot Sadly, Lee and I split up in

2008, and life as a single mum was even more testing Ruby needed constant attention, couldn’t focus and had endless meltdowns

Later that year I met Paul,

an operations manager, in the bar where I worked, and

we quickly settled down

I thought things might calm down, but they didn’t

I could tell that the way Ruby was acting wasn’t normal behaviour for a child and I spent the next five years trying to find out what was wrong with her When she was seven she was finally diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, which falls under the autism spectrum

Visits to the GP

We were told that people who have it are generally of average or higher than average intelligence They find social situations overwhelming, can struggle with change and experience sensory overload I was so happy

to have answers for Ruby, but I still felt emotionally exhausted Sometimes,

I would just cry and cry

I saw my GP a lot between

2008 and 2012, as I felt so low all the time Again, he said I had depression and prescribed cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and

medication, but neither helped

Thankfully, from the off, Paul, now 48, understood that I suffered from social

awkwardness and he never pressured me

to do anything When we got married in

2014, I felt overwhelmed being the focus

on our big day, and the thought of having

to speak in front of my family and friends was terrifying, but I got through it

A life-changing diagnosis

When George and Ruby were older and settled in school, I decided to further

my studies, and after qualifying as

a childcare assistant, I got a position in

a preschool in 2015 For the first time ever

I had a job I loved, as being surrounded

by children made me feel so relaxed.Even so, at home I was still a difficult person to live with I didn’t like anyone bringing lots of friends round, as it would get too chaotic, and I often found it hard

to read Paul’s feelings If he was stressed

by work, I’d feel it was somehow my fault.Some days Paul would gently suggest that maybe I should go back to the doctor,

as he thought I might be autistic

I knew what he meant, as secretly I’d wondered the same – when I’d researched Ruby’s condition I realised

I ticked a lot of the boxes, such as being overwhelmed by noise and finding it difficult when people didn’t stick to the rules Plus, the older Ruby got, the more

of myself I could see in her

In 2016, my mum also suggested

I might be autistic like Ruby, so I decided I had

to go back to my GP about

it Thankfully, this time

I was referred for tests at

a neurological assessment centre, and that August

a consultant psychologist confirmed I had Asperger syndrome.Getting the diagnosis was – and continues to be – life-changing I’m learning new strategies to help me cope For example, if I don’t want to

do something, I no longer force myself, and I’m a lot more honest if I’m finding a situation difficult

Life is good now I love my work and my colleagues are amazing

I’m the lead SENCO (special educational needs coordinator) at the school, and my own experiences mean that I’m more understanding of children who might have additional issues I’m also furthering my knowledge and doing an additional childcare course at university

It may have taken decades, but finally being diagnosed as autistic has been

a blessing, not a curse I understand who I am, and for the first time ever I’m really looking forward to the future,

as I know I can finally just be me

As a child I never had a best friend,

instead flitting from group to group

I found it easier to hang around with

boys, who didn’t like to chat endlessly On

the outside I may have seemed outgoing,

but I felt as if I had a wall around me

At home I could be incredibly defiant

I had to be told exactly why I needed

to do something or I just wouldn’t do it

It was no use my mum telling me to eat

vegetables because they were healthy

I had to know why they were good for me

or else I’d refuse If I got

told off for something, I

couldn’t help but feel as

though I was being unfairly

picked on Now I realise that

wasn’t the case at all

By 13, more cracks started

to appear I’d find it hard to

cope with social situations like sleepovers

– being with too many people at once was

overwhelming My heart would race and

I’d desperately want to run away

My anxiety became so bad that at age

17 I went to see my GP, who told me I was

depressed and gave me a prescription

for medication Even though I took it,

I wasn’t convinced I didn’t feel depressed,

just at odds with the rest of the world

Once I left school in 1998, I went

to college to study for a childcare

qualification After that, I jumped from

job to job, working in various shops,

as I couldn’t seem to focus on what

I wanted to do All I knew was that

I wanted to have children, even though

the thought of a relationship scared me

Tearful and anxious

My first proper boyfriend was a man

called Lee, who I met through friends

in 2000 I wasn’t really bothered about

dating, but as all my friends had

boyfriends, I felt I should, too, and

Lee was really nice Plus he seemed to

like me, quirks and all

Maybe that was because I was

constantly trying my best to be normal

I did all the things that friends and

family seemed to find so easy, such as

going out in large groups and getting

jobs, but it took so much effort

I’d have to prepare myself mentally for

any new challenge, and I rarely felt as

though I was doing something because

I wanted to The truth was I’d rather stay

at home in the peace and quiet

Lee and I had two children – George,

now 15, and Ruby, 12 – and although

I adored them, I found motherhood

hugely challenging I knew it was normal

to sometimes feel tearful and anxious,

but it seemed to hit me 100 times harder

I’d get into an uncontrollable panic if the

Trang 29

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MOTHER’S DAY TREATS

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Trang 31

GET THICKER

30 WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK

Soothe with scalp care

It’s time to treat your scalp to a little TLC

The healthier your scalp, the thicker your hair will be Every week include an exfoliating step before shampooing

The Body Shop Fuji Green Tea Refreshingly Purifying Cleansing Hair Scrub, £15; L’Oréal Paris Elvive Phytoclear Exfoliating Scrub, £6.49.

but the main one

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It’s easy to have

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affordable buys

Trang 32

31 WOMANMAGAZINE.CO.UK

Spritz in condition

Before you reach for your hairbrush, spray your locks with Charles Worthington Everyday Gentle Protective

Detangling Mist, £5.99,

to prevent any damage

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it been proven

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Don’t stress

Stress hormones put your body into panic mode increasing blood flow to your vital organs, and away from your hair follicles and skin

The result is thinning hair and plummeting condition Download the Headspace app and

pop it on for a few minutes daily to reset and rewind Or why not take up yoga once a week so you can learn how

to take a moment of mindfulness

Tweak your diet

Brittle, dry hair and split ends can indicate a lack of iron, zinc and vitamin C.

SOLUTION:Beef is top of the list for boosting zinc levels, wholegrain pasta and brown rice do a good job too, while citrus fruits will help increase your vitamin-C levels If incorporating iron into your diet

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‘I HAD NOTHING

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25 WOMANMAGAZINE.CO .UK< /small>

Yes, you can

BUT REMEMBER…

The

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