Chicken soup for the surviving soul

It's mandatoryreading!" Wally Amos 'The Cookie Man" "Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul is a great pick-me-upbook.. author, Feel the Fearand DoItAnyway and "Over the past 14 years of pr

And Many More

Those Who Have Survived Cancer

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comfort and inspire anyone breathing It's mandatory

reading!"

Wally Amos

'The Cookie Man"

"Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul is a great pick-me-upbook We all go through tough times in our lives. The

inspiring stories in this book show us all that we can get

through these events and even learn from them—that is

the secret ofsurviving!"

blessings . the lessons tobe learned . the strengthwe

empowering 'gifts' in my life."

SusanJeffers,Ph.D

author, Feel the Fearand DoItAnyway and

"Over the past 14 years of providing psychological and

benefits from interacting with other cancer patients.Chicken Soupfor the Surviving Soul, a wonderfully inspira-tional book, introduces thecancer patient tomany otherswho understand every nuance ofthe cancerexperience."

HaroldH Benjamin, Ph.D

Those stories will take you by the hand and takeyou by

W. Mitchell,CPAE

author, TheMan Who WouldNot BeDefeated and

internationally recognized expert on change

"I loved this wonderful, heartwarming book It reminded

Reading it was like sitting in a hundred support groups.You leave feeling you've shared something important,something of yourself/'

Elise NeeDell Babcockfounder, Cancer Counseling Inc.

and author, When Life BecomesPrecious

"Chicken Soupfor the Surviving Soul shows us what all the

true nature of the surviving soul. Through the horror ofcancer, these heroes have found the honor of everyday

life. By sharing their stories with us, they fill us with the

cancerpatients, their families andhealth-care givers,

any-one who's had somuch as abrokennail or abroken heart

should read this book."

"This book is a godsend for anyone who needs some

the Surviving Soul are from people who have a specialinsight into how to live life more fully and, in doing so,

improvetheir health."

O Carl Simonton, M.D Simonton Cancer Center

CHICKEN SOUP

101 Healing Stories About Those

HealthCommunications, Inc.

DeerfieldBeach, Florida

www.chickensoup.com

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Wew ould like to acknowledge the following publishers

I uerst, M.D ©1996HowardJ Fuerst, M.D.

Reader's Digest ©1991 byTheReader's Digest Assn., Inc.

(Continued on page 356)

p cm.

CIP

\ L>%by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Aubery andNancyMitchell

All rights reserved Printed in the United States of America.Nopart of this

publi-cationmaybe reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form

R-02-01

Chicken Soupfor the SurvivingSoul to

Nancy's mother— who originally suggested that

in the creation ofit and gave us theencouragement to continue when we thought

Chicken Soupfor the SurvivingSoul

We also dedicate it to

virtually a single parent with their sonJ.T.

No Road Too Steep

so dark,

nor hill so slippery

that otherpeople have

not beenthere

Foreword Bernie S Siegel,M.D xi

1. ON HOPE

What CancerCannotDo SourceUnknown 2

TheSoulMenders Susan ChernakMcElroy 3Fromon Chemotoon Camera Kristine Kirsten 7

YouCanTeachan OldDogNewTricks HowardJ. Fuerst, M.D 10

TheBoy andthe Billionaire John Pekkanen 13

Kidswith Cansur Geralyn Gaes 28

CancerHas Beena Blessing KimberlyA Stoliker 32

Cancerand CareerChoices Robert H Doss 37

2. ON COURAGE AND DETERMINATION

"Never GiveUp!" Speaker's Sourcebook II 51

NotWithout a Fight MaryHelen Brindell 53

NintendoMaster Katie Gill 58

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Pan' to Dream ManuelDiotte 68

Chris—OneSpecial Fifth-Grader! Louise Biggs 72

Keep on Keeping On Erik Olesen 79

3. ON ATTITUDE

The Powerto Choose SharonBruckman 92

The"Wee"Nurse Norman Cousins 97

Two ThingsNot toWorryAbout Source Unknown 106

I've Just Got toMakeThat ManLaugh!

SecondThoughts Allen Klein 122

Reachingfor the Best Norman Cousins 124

ThePowerofLaughter Allen Klein 127

4. ON FAITH

Coin- tor the Prize PaulAzinger 132

I he 1 loly Water Kathy LaTour 143

All the Necessary Supplies Dianne Clark 155

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5. ON LOVE

APocketFull ofQuarters AnneC Washburn 169

ManuelGarcia David Roth 171

DearMommy AlexiThomas 175

HappyAnniversary Allen Klein 183

LoveandSupport ChristineM Creley 184

LoveCures People Janine Crawford 186

"YouAre Goingto NeedaSurgeon" Delva Seavy-Rebin 189

6. ON SUPPORT

TeensLaunchCampaign toSave DyingBaby's Life

Judy NancyRichard-Guilford 205

The CorporateAngelNetwork The Corporate Angel Network 214

ToClimb aMountain Diana L. Chapman 217

SimplyHoldaHand Bernie S Siegel,M.D 227

You'veGota Friend Carole King 228

To theNurses of theWorld John WayneSchlatter 233

The Healing Sybil Taylor 235

KindestCut People Magazine 242

TheWay

x CONTENTS

7. ON INSIGHTSAND LESSONS

HumorHelps ErmaBombeck 282

CancerIntroducedMetoMyself Lois Becker 284

Thoughtsfor the Year SourceUnknown 290

Dad, CancerandtheWedding Linda Blackman 296

TwentyMinutesIs a Lifetime ClaireNuer 309

What'sIt For? Jane Hill 318

TheBestThing That Ever HappenedtoMe Roberta Andresen 320

Howto BeatCancer City ofHope 329

WhoIsNancy Mitchell? 341

I was quite honored when asked to write the foreword

to Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul I have been sotouched and inspired by the first two Chicken Soup books

that my foreword may turn out to be longer than the

aone-word foreword.What istheone word? Love Icould

point, but I think you, dear reader, know what I am

uponus,one ofourchoices is torepress thefeelingsit

cre-ates and bury them deep within In my early years as aphysician Iwas very good at this Ithought Iwas protect-ing myself, but I was actually destroying myself I finally

hurt enoughtoseekhealing.Books like Chicken Soupfor the

Soul were part ofmy healing because when you read, you

get intouch withyourfeelings.Youcan thenexpress thosefeelings so that you may heal your life and your body So

read, feeland find healing in these pages

and found paths to healing We all have cancer in one

ofthe people Ispeakto say, "Life is unfair."What theyare

til FOREWORD

all of us, so therefore, it must be fair. We are all ing. What this book can reveal to you is not only how todeal with cancer but how to deal with alloflife's difficul-

inspiration that leads to transformation For some, this

inspiration comes when they learn that they havea short

us are immortal, and so it is a lot wiser to read Chicken

as a physician, from storing everything inside me until Isuffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, common to

my teachers In helping them learn how to live between

accept your mortality and findhappiness and love You'llalso find that the firstperson you need to loveisyourself

Who are the best teachers? I find they are the peoplewho don't die when they are supposed to. They will

enlighten you about life. Tl\ey know they are not

invariably recurs, and seven years later he graduated

tumor Others set out to create a more beautiful world and get so busy they forget to die. They suddenly havepermission to quit a job, take off a tie, move to the moun-

time tor. They learn the truth of the statement, "Enjoy

FOREWORD xiii

con-tribute to the world in their own way, not theway one elsedecides.As one womansaid, "AfterIhad doneall

some-the things I wanted todo beforeI died,I didn't die."Later

she wrote, "Now I'm so busy I'm killing myself Help!

Where do I go from here?" I told her to take a nap She

the description and healthem Your life willimprove and you will derive physical benefits, too. Remember, life is alaborpain but thepainsare notinflicted by someone else.

by caring people, you have far less pain and far fewer

complications So reach outfor the help you need Create

a mutualinvestment societywith yourfamily, friendsandhealth care providers The stories contained here will

These stories will also teach you that life isn't about

"Why me?"but "Tryme!"Youwilllearn thatbeatinga

liv-ing with adversity in such a way that you inspire those

aroundyou.You are awinnerbecauseoftheway youlive,

Unhealthy guilt, shame and blame have no place in

your new life If you lose your car keys, it isn't because

if you lose your health it also is not because God is ishing you We (God included) will help you to find yourhealth just as we would help you search for yourkeys

XIV FOREWORD

the change in your life and the inner wisdom you

discover As you will learn from reading this book, formationis thekey I will letyou in ona secret that Ionly

trans-share with readers on how to succeed at transformation

What you experience and anticipate alter you Spend a

moment laughing, loving or playing and your body feels

So whatcanyoudo? Behaveasifyou arethe personyou

depending upon the emotion they are portraying

bet-ter, decide who you want to be and start becoming your

I willclosewith oneimportant thought.WilliamSaroyan

forgive yourselfwhen you are not the person you want to

be. Then get out your baby picture, look at it and forgive

Surviving Soul and become enlightened And for those of

friend or health care provider to someone who does—or

I ust a member of the human species—don't wait until

your mortality is threatened to wake up to the lessons oflife presented here

Bernie S Siegel, M.D.

Like the prior volumes of Chicken Soupfor the Soul, this

truelaboroflove for allofus involved, and we wouldlike

to thank the following people for their contributions,

theneededemotional supporttopersevere through what

Heather McNamara, who spent countless hours—late

couldn't have done it without you!

Harold Benjamin, for his insights and brilliance during

this project and for taking the time to meet with us to go

Dr Bernie Siegel, for taking time out ofhis busy

sched-ule to offer advice, insights about the mind-body

Diana Chapman, for continually sharing her stories,

giving feedback on the manuscript and cheering us on

xvi ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

CopingMagazine, for allowing us to request stories from

that were very helpful

Meladee McCarty,who not only read the entire

Michelle Nuzzo, for the encouragement and ideas on

where to go for more resources and for editing the initial

version of the manuscript Michelle, you were always

there when we needed you!

John Wayne "Jack" Schlatter, who continually sent in

the process ofthis project You are a true friend, Jack!

Peter Vegso and Gary Seidler at Health

Peter and Gary!

Kim Wiele, who kept our general office running during

project.

Larry Price, who continues to support us and reinforce

Trudy Klefstad at OfficeWorks, who typed the

true g^m!

Christine Belleris, Matthew Diener and Mark Colucci,

our editors at Health Communications, for theirgenerous

We also want to thank the following people who read

Jennifer Hawthorne, Elizabeth Kapiloff, KimberlyKirberger, Edd Mabrey, Meladee and Hanoch McCarty, Linda Mitchell, Michelle Nuzzo, Lee Potts, Dr Ann Raymer, Martin Rutte, John Wayne Schlatter, MarciShimoff,BernieSiegel,Janet Switzer, RebeccaWiederkehr,

Kelly Zimmerman.

We also appreciate all the people who sent us stories,

poems and quotes for possible inclusion in Chicken Soup

intention to share yourselves and your stories with usand our readers Love to you!

We are sure in the immensity of this project we have

For that we are sorry but nonetheless grateful for themany hearts and hands that made this book possible

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Introduction

care of them . Sometimes a person needs astory more than food to stay alive.

From our hearts to yours, we are delighted to offer you

Chicken Soupfor theSurvivingSoul This book contains over

hope, empower you to take charge of your life and yourhealing process, inspire you to give and receive more

unconditional love, motivate you to fight and persevere

in the face of what may seem to be insurmountable

more conviction This book will sustain you in times offrustration and challenge, and comfort you in times of

Surviving Soul will truly be a lifetime companion, offeringinsight wisdom and guidance on many areas of yourrecovery and your life.

XVIII

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During this very challenging time in my life battling

Paul

Why This Book?

Mitchell, was diagnosed with breast cancer Because we have been writing and compiling Chicken Soupfor the Soul

booksforthelast fiveyears, shesuggestedthat wecompile

cancer At first, the project took off very slowly and we

sur-vivors and their family members began sending us stories

can-cer continued, we realized we would finish it and that it

wouldbeagreat book Butwe alsorealizedsomething else.

When the idea ofthis book was born, it was about vivingcancer, but as it tookshape, we realized that itwas

sur-really a book about life. In fact, eight million cancer vivors out there have discovered things about life that

sur-most ofthe rest ofus havenot yet learned As we

contin-ued working on thebook,we realized that each storywas

we deepened our appreciation for the simple things inlife—watching thechanging hues and colors ofthemorn-ing sunrise, taking a walk along the beach, listening tomusic, drinking a glass offresh squeezed fruit juice,play-

families andthe love weallshare with eachother became

lucky." Because of this book we are not the same people

xx INTRODUCTION

we were Ourprioritiesare clearernow We shareour

feel-ings more openly, we take our vitamins and herbs more

regularly, we eat better, we meditate and do yoga more

co-dependentbehaviors areweaker andour desires tofollow

our own inner directives are stronger We laugh more

others and know more clearly than ever that each day is

a treasured gift to be lived to the fullest.

Chicken Soup fortheSoulreawakenedmeto thefactthat life is really too short to hide, it'smeant to be lived!

We thank all of you who have been challenged by

deep-ened our own understandings about life, love and

from sharing the first drafts of this book with many

can-cer patients, survivors, family members and caregiversthat this book will comfort, aid and inspire all who have

who don't have cancer— we hope that it will give you some of the insights without having to personally go

And to those of you who are currently battling cancer,

and done so. Maytheir stories lightyour way throughthe

dark nights We send you our love and our blessings and

the love and blessings of the people who participated

in this project They all care . and they know what you

are facing and what ispossible

Share These Stories with Others

Sometimes ourlight goesout butis blown intoflame byanother human being. Each ofus owes deepest thanks

indi-vidual We promise you that you willget something even

How to Read This Book

One reader of the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book

wrote us that she read the book in one sitting of four

your immune system Pretty amazing!

Actually, we don't recommend youread thebookallin

ofthe stories withyour whole being Readinga book like

heart as well as yourmind Let each story touchyou Ask

yourself,Whatdoes itawaken inme?Whatdoes it suggest formy

xxii INTRODUCTION

laugh; somewillmake youcry.Somewillgiveyouawarmfeelingall over; some mayhit youright betweenthe eyes

it happen and let it be.

book Please write to us and tell us how these storiesaffected you Also, we invite you to become part of this

Please send us any stories and poems you think we

Surviving Soul. See page 338 for our address We look

for-wardto hearing fromyou Untilthen .we hope you will

en-lightened by compiling, editing and writing it.

ON HOPE

want ispossible, andthen workingforit.

ON HOPE

What Cancer Cannot Do

Canceris so

It cannot steal eternal life

Source Unknown

The Soul Menders

During the first months followingmy cancerdiagnosis,

healing I wasn't interested in techniques that could help

me cope better or extend my life expectancy by a few months; mere remission or "quality of life" didn't capture

my attention either. Full recovery was the only option I

When my surgeries and radiation treatments were

over, I found myself in that frightening twilight zone of

the following year For the sake ofmy sanity, Itried hard

sen-tence My motto became, "I don't write off cancer

patients."I was ferocious and flailing.

Alone in bed at night, I looked at the white walls and

4 ON HOPE

entered my life—a skinny feral kitten about four weeks

aloneunderthe wheelwell ofmy parked car,Floralooked

desperately sick I grabbed hold of her scraggly tail and

tugged.Within seconds my hand wasscratchedto shreds,butI hung on andbrought her hissingand complainingto

With the arrival ofthekitten, Ipulled my energy away

on healing Flora. Along with ringworms and fleas, she

tongue, cheeks and throat I knew all about ulcers in themouth, so I sympathized wholeheartedly with this mis-erable condition It took weeks, but slowly Flora healed,

trusting ball of black-and-white fuzz who met me at my

success ofour health venture together. Although my own

future looked uncertain, success with Flora was thingI could achieve

some-Only weeks after I'd finally nursed Flora back to some

the same sorry prognosis my oncologist had given me:

Flora would most likely die within a year or two My

vet handed down the diagnosis, I wrote her off as a lost

cause Quickly, myemotional attachment to her ceasedas

which I knew wouldcome.Theveterinarian told meFlorawould die and simply accepted stopped speaking

and playing with Flora because when I did, I ended up

When Td walk past her, she'd chase after me Her paw touched my cheek hesitantly each night as she curled up

Her patience finally won out One night I had an

"AHA!" experience about my attitude toward Flora. How

when I couldn't see the same hope for her? How could I

dismiss anybeingwithout dismissing myself?Although I

was busy blathering about hope and healing, I knew that

That realization was a profound turning point for me While slowin coming, it finally hit me like a downpourofhailstones How often in my life had I turned away from

nearly lost myselfin the process

Onenight shortly after my awakening, I lit acandle for

Flora and myself We sat together looking at the flame,

cele-brate together

I began aquest to heal Flora that included many ofthe

same gems of complementary medicine I attempted onmyself Flora got acupressure, vitamins, homeopathy, music and color therapy, detoxifyingbaths andunlimited

quantities ofhugs, love andaffection.Herwaterbowl had

6 ON HOPE

so painfully heavy It became fun, even silly. When I told

my friends I might have my house visited by dowsers toseek out and correct "bad energyvibrations/' I damn wellhad to have a-highly developed sense ofhumor!

Overthenextfew months,Islowly learnedthathealing

is more than heroics over illness. Healing isn't simply an

relationship ended She brought me tremendous peace

healed, loved and cherished, I knew I honestly held the

Flora is sleek, happy and seven years old today Her

last three tests for leukemia have been negative At thetime ofmy "AHA!" with Flora, I felt that she was an angel

sent to teach me that turning away from love

accom-plishes nothing

From on Chemo to on Camera

Ifyou want to live, then you'vegot to be positive.

cuz I'mgonnawin the fight.

These are some ofthe lyrics to my "cancer rap song."I

wrote it when I found out in March 1989, at age 18, that I

and eight major operations, including an amputation of

myleft leg above the knee, sixtumors later, I am thankful

to sayI am clean!

I don't wishcanceron anyone, but I don'teverwant toforget what I went through The physical and emotional

produces perseverance, character and hope

8 ON HOPE

1 had quite a bit of fun, too, at the hospital while on

hydration I remember walking around the hospital with

to get a reaction from unsuspecting people Nothing felt

better to me than making others laugh and forgetting thepain for a while I feelthatGodhas used mysituation and

experience to help others

cancer, I was a dancer on Soul Train. When I was nosed, my doctors told me I would never dance again Ifooled them —I still dance, and with a lot of soul. Two

diag-years ago, I started taking acting classes Southern

entertain-ment industry is located I put offgoing on my first

the best weeks ofmy life I played a character, Kim Greer,

who istrainingforawheelchairracein Cicely,Alaska, and

gets a sprained elbow Maggie (Janine Turner) introduces

native shaman ways

Here's what a day onthe set waslike. The night before,

I studied my lines I had to get up really early (sometimes

Seattle to locations The interior scenes were shot in

makeup I had to go "block" scenes (go through them for

finishing my makeup, followed by shooting the scenes

haveto"process"and "take."The directorwas really

acting." After finishing in the early afternoon, I stuck

around and watched other scenes being shot It was very

educational

adopted a "grandpa," the man who drove the makeup

trailer.

to audition for a small part on Beverly Hills 90210 Later I

found out they decided to cast me for a big part instead:

very different from the characters they play

Even thoughI losta leg to cancer, Iam doingmore than

I ever have I learned to snow ski on one leg, and now I

raceandteach otherpeopleto ski.Hey,we don't crossour

WhileIhave goalsin actingandwriting, Ihavelearned,

withit!

10 ON HOPE

to turn the immune systems around. .

I them Yet I adhered to my training—if it "ain't" in the

double-blind crossover studies, it must be quackery And so it

went for 40 years

California sent me a copy of Quantum Healing by Deepak

medicine

For my 69th birthday, even though I felt great, I had a

of Ear advanced prostatecancer.Theprofessor atthe

med-ical school again confirmed the diagnosis He told me

tapes on healing, started a macrobiotic diet, scheduled a

destruction Not one of these modalities was accepted

them with ahuge dose of skepticism, I couldn't stand up

tomyfamily's forcefulpersuasion.I was determined tobe

agoodpatient and did alloftheabove regularly andwith

person I have made a 180-degree change in my attitude

toward the practice ofmedicine From anarrow-minded,

several telephone calls from cancer patients each week

who have heard my story and want to know what they

had me on multiple prayer lines, I was skeptical until I

Words I now watch for numerous articles on prayer and

stories on TV In my own informal way, I speak to God

daily.

and visualization Shopping and cooking are part of my

routine Ieliminated allanimal products andfatsfrom my

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read-ing, I found many"medicalmiracles77occurring becauseof

"alternative therapies/7

Many of my colleagues still look at me as a /7nut case77

cancer Why? They don't know. But I do—I had

moun-tains oflove and moral support and I chose to change It

The Boy and the Billionaire

HeniyFord

other children A natural entertainer with an exuberant

personality, he loved making people laugh His greatestjoy was putting onwigs and funny hats and stagingcom-

suburb ofCarshalton

Craig brought the same buoyant energy to soccer But

in thefall of 1988, his coach noticeda change in the year-old's normally aggressive play "He seems to have slowed up/'the coachtold Craig's father, Ernie

nine-Craig complained ofearaches, and his mother, Marion,

watched television. He seemed listless, but the family

Craig became more and more subdued.

At Christmas, Craig did not even want to ride his newbicycle This time the doctorblamed Craig's problems on

14 ON HOPE

Marion demanded an immediate hospital appointment,

Afterward, Marion and Ernie were ushered into adoctor's office. "I'm afraid I have bad news for you," the

speechless; Ernie bowed his head

dangerous spot: near the top of the brain stem, which

controls breathing, heart rate and bloodpressure

An ambulance carried Craig to the Great OrmondStreetHospital incentralLondon, and tumorsurgerywassoon scheduled Marion didn't want to tell her son, fear-

ing she'd crush that indomitable spirit. But she had

favorite TV show who had abrain tumor "I thinkI've gotwhat she's got," Craig said.

Marion nodded. "I want you to be very brave," shemurmured.

"I will be."

Holding his stuffed elephant for luck, Craig was

wheeled toward the operatingroom onJanuary 17. Marion

and Ernie were at his side Softly, Marion sang "I JustCalled to Say I Love You," oneof Craig's favorite songs.Kneeling in the hospital chapel, Marion remembered when she and Ernie first learned that she was pregnant

the restaurant where Marion worked as awaitress Marion

Craig was born on June the joy continued.

Now she pleaded forher son's life Lord, Craig's not ready

foryou Iwon't letyou take him because it's not his time yet.

surgery, the surgeon reported that he could not remove

indicated a malignant teratoma, an aggressive cancer ofthe brain After his recovery from surgery, Craig receivedfurthertreatment, but his death seemed allbut inevitable

Marion quit her job so she could stay with her son inthe hospital Ernie, a truck driver, came after work in theevenings One or the other was by the boy's bedside 24

Craig received so many get-well cards from family,friends and soccer team members that his doctor joked,

"You ought to go for the Guinness Book ofWorldRecords."

Hospital, where he would undergo chemotherapy andradiationtreatments, Craig receivedataped get-wellmes-

sage from his favorite TV personality Hearing this, anational newspaper published an article on this pluckyboy fighting for his life. Soon other newspapers, alongwith radio and television, picked up the story Craig

became "Our Kid Courage" to the British press

Craig's medical condition worsened, however. His legs

his vision blurred For all his pain, though, Craig never

say "Who's there?" a visitor would respond "Ad-air,"Craig answered "Ad-air who?" "Ad-air once, but now I'mbald!"came the punch line.

chemotherapy, Craig fought against the sadness he felt.

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Mum," he said, Til think about the cards Every time I

do, it makes me feel better." In September, in an attempt

to build Craig's morale, the Shergolds told the press he would try to establish a Guinness record for most cardsreceived

home, carrying several large sacks ofcards The

outpour-ing led to more publicity—which generated thousands

more cards He received cards from Margaret Thatcher,Prince Charles, George Bush, Ronald Reagan, Mikhail

Gorbachev and two ofCraig's idols: Michael Jackson and

Sylvester Stallone

Craig startedhaving realhope ofbeating the record for

most cards collected (1,000,265) held by another English

something more than acrueltwist offate.Infact, somanycards poured in that Craig received his own "selection

mail processing

On November 17, 1989, the big night arrived Craig,

num-ber 1,000,266— the record breaker As Craig said thank

Some3,800miles away, inCharlottesville, Virginia,John

Craig and all his get-well cards They urged Klugeto send

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