Interpersonal chapter 9 interpersonal communication in close relationships

Intimacy in Close Relationships• Some relationships exhibit all four dimensions • Other relationships exhibit only one or two... Intimacy in Close Relationships• Intimacy in Mediated Com

Intimacy in Close Relationships

• Some relationships exhibit all four dimensions

• Other relationships exhibit only one or two

Intimacy in Close Relationships

• Masculine and Feminine Styles

• Research shows that women are somewhat more willing than men to share their feelings

• In terms of amount and depth:

• Female – Female were at the top

• Male – Female came in second

• Male – Male had the least disclosure

• Biological sex is not as important as the

Intimacy in Close Relationships

• Cultural Influences on Intimacy

• Notions of public and private selves have

changed dramatically

• Collectivist cultures

• Generally do not reach out to outsiders, often waiting until they are properly introduced before entering into conversation

• Individualistic cultures

• Make fewer distinctions between personal

Intimacy in Close Relationships

• Intimacy in Mediated Communication

• Mediated communication can be just as

personal as face-to-face interaction

• Relational intimacy may develop more quickly through mediated channels

• Intimate connections in cyberspace can also be problematic

Intimacy in Close Relationships

• The Limits of Intimacy

• Most people want 4-6 close relationships in their lives

• Obsession with intimacy can lead to less

satisfying relationships

• Intimacy is rewarding but it isn’t the only way

of relating to others

Communication in Families

• Characteristics of Family Communication

• Family communication is formative

• Family communication is role-driven

• Family communication is involuntary

Communication in Families

• Characteristics of Family Communication

• Families as systems

• Family systems are interdependent

• Family systems are manifested through communication

• Family systems are nested

• Subsystems

• Suprasystems

• Families are more than the sum of their parts

Communication in Families

• Communication Patterns within Families

• Conversation orientation

• High conversation orientation

• Low conversation orientation

• Conformity orientation

• High-conformity families

• Low-conformity families

Communication in Friendships

• Types of Friendships

• Youthful vs mature

• Long term vs short term

• Relationship oriented vs task oriented

• High disclosure vs low disclosure

• High obligation vs low obligation

• Frequent contact vs occasional contact

Communication in Friendships

• Friendship and Social Media

• Internet has made friendship more complicated

• Social networking sites used primarily to

maintain current friendships or to revive old

Communication in Romantic

Relationships

• Romantic Turning Points

• Transformative events that alter the relationship

• Especially important in romantic relationships

• Often mark movement among stages

• Not all turning points are positive

• Can provide clues about the status of the relationship

Communication in Romantic

Relationships

• Couples’ Conflict Styles

• John Gottman – conflict styles

• Volatile

• Avoidant

• Validating

Communication in Romantic

Relationships

• Couples’ Conflict Styles

• Gary Chapman – love languages

Improving Close Relationships

• Relationships Require Commitment

• Promise - sometimes implied, sometimes

explicit – to remain in a relationship and make it successful

• Commitment formed and reinforced through

communication

• Words aren’t surefire measure of commitment

Improving Close Relationships

• Relationships Require Maintenance and

Improving Close Relationships

• Relationships Require Maintenance and

Improving Close Relationships

• Relationships Require Maintenance and

Support

• Social support

• Helping loved ones through challenging times

• Communication plays a central role

• Resources

• Emotional support

• Informational support

• Instrumental support

Improving Close Relationships

• Repairing Damaged Relationships

• Types of relational transgressions

Improving Close Relationships

• Repairing Damaged Relationships

Improving Close Relationships

• Repairing Damaged Relationships

• Strategies for relational repair

• Talk about the violation

• Take responsibility for the transgression

• Components of apology

• Expressing regret

• Accepting responsibility

• Making restitution

Improving Close Relationships

• Repairing Damaged Relationships

• Some transgressions harder to forgive

• One way to improve ability to forgive is to recall times when you have mistreated or hurt others

Chapter Review

• Intimacy in Close Relationships

• Communication in Families

• Communication in Friendships

• Communication in Romantic Relationships

• Improving Close Relationships