Choice e is a run-on sentence, is wordy, and has awkward sentence structure... Choice c is wordy and awkward and a run-on sentence; by adding you, e creates an improper shift in pronoun
Trang 135 The revision to sentences 11 and 12 (reprinted
below) that would most improve the essay is
(11) For example, even kindergarteners could come up with a list of rules for their classroom.
(12) Including no pushing or name calling, ask before you take something, put things away, and say please and thank you.
a place sentence 12 before sentence 11.
b connect the sentences with the word and.
c connect the sentences with a comma.
d delete sentence 12.
e eliminate unnecessary wordiness from both
sentences
36 In the context of the essay, which of the following
is the most effective combination of sentences 9 and 10 (reprinted below)?
(9) In fact, schools should allow students to par-ticipate in the creation of many different rules.
(10) As well as in the punishment for the viola-tion of these rules, too; even in elementary school.
a In fact, schools should allow students to
par-ticipate in the creation of many different rules,
as well as in their punishments for the viola-tion of these rules Even in elementary school
b As a matter of fact, schools should allow
stu-dents to participate in creating many different rules and punishing them for breaking those rules, likewise even in elementary school
c Because of this fact, schools, even elementary,
should allow students to participate in making and breaking rules
d In fact, administrators should allow students
to participate in creating rules and determin-ing punishments for breakdetermin-ing those rules—
even at the elementary level
e Rules and the punishments for breaking them
should be determined by participation of stu-dents in schools, even elementary ones
37 Which of the following is the most logical order
of sentences within paragraph 2?
a 5, 6, 7, 8
b 5, 7, 6, 8
c 5, 6, 8, 7
d 6, 7, 8, 5
e 8, 7, 6, 5
38 The best paragraph revision to this essay would
be which of the following?
a Combine paragraphs 1 and 2.
b Start a third paragraph with sentence 6.
c Start a third paragraph with sentence 9.
d Start a third paragraph with sentence 13.
e No change to existing paragraph structure is
necessary
39 Which of the following revisions to sentence 14
would most improve the essay?
a Delete it.
b Move it to the end of the first paragraph.
c Move it to the beginning of the second
paragraph
d Change Furthermore to In contrast.
e Combine sentences 13 and 14.
40 The revision that would make the essay most
persuasive would be to
a provide several specific examples to support
claims in the argument
b discuss opposing views.
c describe the author’s personal experience with
authority
d restate the thesis at the end of the passage.
e make the overall tone and style more formal.
Trang 2A n s w e r s
1 c The pronoun whom is followed by a verb,
indicating that it is acting as a subject Whom should therefore be in the subjective case, who.
All other underlined portions are correct
2 a The verb refer does not agree with its subject,
term, which is singular The verb should there-fore also be singular: refers All other
under-lined portions are correct
3 e There are no errors in this sentence.
4 d The verb has been is in the wrong tense.
The simple present tense is is required here.
5 a This is an error in prepositional idiom The
correct phrase is backlash against.
6 e There are no errors in this sentence.
7 d The tenses shift from the present (posits,
alters) to the past (was) To be consistent and logical, all verbs should be in the present (is
being observed)
8 a Mathematical is an adjective, but it is
modify-ing a verb; thus, it should be in the adjective
form, mathematically.
9 c This sentence lacks parallel structure Be
prac-ticing is not in the same grammatical form as the infinitive to be To be correct, be practicing needs to be changed to practice (with an understood to).
10 b This sentence confuses raise with the correct
word, rise To raise is to lift something up or
elevate; it is a transitive verb that takes an
object To rise is to move up; it is an
intransi-tive verb and the word needed in this sentence
11 e There are no errors in this sentence.
12 b This sentence contains an improper shift in
pronoun person The correct pronoun is they, not you.
13 c This is an error in word choice Then should
be the comparative than.
14 b The singular his or her does not agree with its
plural indefinite pronoun antecedent, Many.
To correct this error, his or her should be replaced with their.
15 c This sentence is a run-on with a comma
splice The best way to correct this error is by replacing the comma with a semicolon
16 e There are no errors in this sentence.
17 d There are actually two errors here:
pronoun-antecedent agreement and subject-verb
agreement The prepositional phrase for the body copy of books, magazines, and newspapers
may mislead you to think that books, maga-zines, and newspapers are the subject
How-ever, the subject is family, which is singular Thus, the pronoun should be it and the verb is: the Roman family of fonts is almost exclusively used for the body copy of books, magazines, and newspapers because it is both familiar to readers and highly legible.
18 d The modifier sophisticate is in the wrong form.
It should be the adjective sophisticated.
19 c The context should make it clear that the verb
use should be in the past tense: Chinese printers used moveable block prints and type made of clay as early as 1040.
20 b Choice a incorrectly uses the semicolon and
does not clearly indicate what is significantly
more—the percentage of Americans using alternative medicines or the frequency with which they use alternative medicines Choice
b corrects the semicolon error and correctly
identifies exactly what the increase is: an
increase in numbers Choice c merely states
that the increase is over the decade, which is
incorrect Choice d is wordy Choice e is a
run-on sentence, is wordy, and has awkward sentence structure
Trang 321 d Choice d is the most concise version of this
sentence Choice a uses the passive voice (can
be replaced by microchips) Choice b is wordy
and still retains the passive voice Choice c is
wordy and awkward and a run-on sentence;
by adding you, e creates an improper shift in
pronoun person
22 b This is the most concise version and the one
that best expresses the relationship between
the clauses The use of also in choice a
expresses addition when the relationship is
really one of simultaneity Choice c has a
superfluous comma after while and uses a
wordy that clause Choice d is wordy Choice e
makes the same error as a and uses the vague
phrase find things.
23 e Choices a, b, and c are wordy The yet in
choice d does not express the right
relation-ship between the clauses
24 b The main issue here is proper
subordination/coordination Although in
choice a does not express the right kind of
contrast; black holes do one thing while white
holes do another—they exist simultaneously
Choice c makes the same mistake with
likewise, which expresses similarity Choice d
uses the wrong subordinator and is wordy
Choice e omits the subordinating or
coordi-nating word and is a run-on sentence
25 e The original item has a misplaced modifier.
The sentence reads as if more than 12 million Americans are formally known as sleep apnea
Choice b uses the ungrammatical phrase being known as Choice c is a fragment Choice d has
a vague pronoun reference; it is not clear to
what exactly it refers.
26 a This is the most clear and concise version.
Choices b, c, and e are wordy Choice d is a
fragment and uses the preposition of where from is required.
27 a This is the most clear and concise version.
Choice b is wordy, using the passive
construc-tion by scientists Choice c uses the wordy and
awkward (even illogical) construction with the
tail of a rat, grafted it Choice d is a run-on and
uses the wrong tense (it should be the simple
past tense grafted, not had grafted) Choice e is
a run-on and uses the wrong conjunctive
adverb: Thus does not express the relationship
between the clauses It also makes tense
mis-take in d and uses a passive construction.
28 c Choices a, b, and d have misplaced modifiers Choice b also uses the ungrammatical phrase
being seated Choice e is grammatically correct
but wordier than c, which is more direct and
logical in its structure
29 b Coordination/subordination, parallel
struc-ture, and wordiness are the main issues here
Choice a uses the illogical subordinating
con-junction whereas and lacks parallel
struc-ture—the elements of the second Bloody Sunday (date, event, place) are not in the same
order or form as the first Choice c uses an
incorrect conjunction, is wordy because it uses
the passive voice, and is not parallel Choice d
incorrectly uses in contrast instead of a word
that expresses addition and uses the passive
voice Choice e expresses a logical relationship
between the clause but is wordy and uses the passive voice
30 d The main error here is the unclear pronoun
reference in they, which can refer to either the
chemicals or the cancerous cells Only choice
d clarifies this by stating because the chemicals are unable to distinguish Choice a is a run-on
sentence Choice b is missing a noun or
pro-noun after because Choices c and e are
illogical
31 d Only choice d corrects the faulty comparison:
Human beings are taller and stronger than they were 200 years ago, not taller and stronger
than 200 years ago Choice b has an apostro-phe error in being’s Choices c and e are
fragments
Trang 432 b The original item (choice a) is a run-on
sen-tence Choice b correctly replaces the comma with a semicolon Choice c also replaces the
comma with a semicolon but awkwardly uses
the passive voice (what is popularly believed).
Choice d is wordy, and e correctly uses a
semi-colon but mistakenly omits the comma after the
introductory phrase contrary to popular belief.
33 e The original is very wordy and is best divided
into at least two sentences Choice a divides the
sentence into three, but the second is a fragment,
and it is overall still wordy Choice b is more concise but misuses the semicolon Choice c is
full of awkward and ungrammatical
construc-tions and is a run-on Choice d has similar
problems and has unnecessary repetition
34 d The original sentence is a run-on Choice a
retains the run-on and uses because of this, a
transition that does not express the right rela-tionship between the two clauses It is not
because students are more responsible and
sensible that they will more likely adhere to the dress code The relationship between the two clauses is one of addition; the author is providing another example to support his or
her point Choice b commits the same errors
as choice a Choice c corrects the run-on but
doesn’t provide a transition, making it diffi-cult to determine what the relationship is
between the two clauses Choice e corrects the
run-on by separating the clauses into two sen-tences, but starts the second sentence with
Obviously, which is not the best word choice.
35 c Sentence 12 provides specific examples of the
rules that kindergarteners could come up with, and it could logically be attached to sentence
11 As it is, sentence 12 is a fragment Switching
the sentence order (choice a) would be
illogi-cal, as would connecting them with and (choice
b) Deleting sentence 12 (choice d) would
weaken the paragraph by removing specific examples Neither sentence is wordy, so choice
e is incorrect.
36 d This version corrects several problems with
sentences 9 and 10 First, it changes schools to administrators, who are the ones who would
allow student participation Second, it has
effective parallel structure with creating rules and determining punishments It uses the dash
to effectively emphasize even at the elementary level, a phrase set off incorrectly by a
semi-colon in the original version (thus creating a
fragment) Choice a essentially repeats the errors in the original Choice b incorrectly
adds likewise to the sentence and illogically
states that schools should allow students to participate in punishing themselves (rather
than in determining punishments) Choice c
seems concise and uses parallel structure, but
it uses a wordy phrase because of this fact.
Choice e uses the passive voice.
37 c Sentence 8 logically follows 6 Because
stu-dents have a role in creating the dress code, they will be more likely to adhere to it—as a result, there will be less disciplinary action Sentence 7 then adds another benefit of stu-dent participation
38 c Sentence 9 shifts from the focus on student
participation in creating the dress code to stu-dent participation in rule-making in general Because paragraph 2 discusses to different ideas, it should be divided, and this is the most effective place to do so
39 a Sentence 14 does what a conclusion should
not do: It introduces a new topic instead of creating a sense of closure The best revision would therefore be to delete it
40 a One of the weaknesses of the essay is that it
does not provide any specific examples to sup-port its claims Providing evidence is usually the most effective way to persuade readers to
accept a point of view Choices b, c, and d
would be helpful but have less impact than
providing examples Choice e would probably
make little difference as the passage is not overly informal
Trang 5P a r t 4 : T h e E s s a y
Since you will only have 25 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay on the SAT, it is important to prepare
in advance by learning what type of prompt to expect, how your writing will be scored, and how to manage your time while following the five-step writing process
Understanding the Prompts:
Responding to Quotes
One essay question type involves responding to a statement or quotation, as seen below:
Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep.
—Scott Adams
Assignment: What is your opinion on the
relation-ship between mistakes and creativity? In an essay, support your opinion using an example or examples from literature, the arts, history, current events, pol-itics, science and technology, or personal experi-ence or observation
When faced with a quotation, you should deter-mine its main point before proceeding What is the opinion or statement that the quotation is making? You may want to quickly jot down your interpretation of the quote on your scrap paper This will help you later as you brainstorm your response to the quote
For example, in response to the above quotation, you may jot down “Mistakes happen—byproduct of creativity Making them work for you—that’s art.”
Then, you will read the assignment for more details about how to move forward Here, the task is to discuss the relationship between mistakes and creativity
If you do not take the time to consider the quote, you risk misunderstanding the assignment, and this will seriously detract from your score, since under-standing the assignment is a key component of your score
Another type of prompt asks you to choose between two opposing ideas expressed in quotations, as seen below:
Even if smog were a risk to human life, we must remember that life in nature, without technology, is wholesale death.
—Ayn Rand
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
—Frank Lloyd Wright
Assignment: Consider the two contrasting
state-ments above Choose the quotation that most closely reflects your viewpoint Write an essay explaining your choice To support your view, use an example
or examples from history, politics, science and tech-nology, literature, the arts, current events, or your own personal experience and observation
Again, because this prompt involves responding
to quotations, a critical first step is to be certain of what each speaker is trying to say Once that is deter-mined, you will choose the side you agree with more strongly You will then write an essay in which you sup-port your opinion A student may interpret the first quotation as “Technology is critical to life” and the sec-ond as “Technology is harmful and undesirable.” Prov-ing the validity of one of these two opinions will be your task in the essay
Trang 6Understanding the Prompts:
Completing a Statement or Idea
The other type of prompt you may confront will ask
you to complete a sentence or idea, such as the one that
follows:
Many things happen in the course of a person’s life that change his or her future dramatically.
One such event I have witnessed was
Assignment: Complete the sentence above with an
appropriate phrase Then write an essay supporting
your completed statement
This type of prompt requires that you think of examples and situations that illustrate the statement In
an essay in response to this prompt, the readers will be
looking for a clear, strongly supported account of an
event that led to significant change This prompt very
easily lends itself to the use of personal experience Or,
you could answer using a historical event with which
you are very familiar No matter how you address the
prompt, the point is not just to make claims or
asser-tions, but also to back them up with evidence, as you
will practice later in this section
Test Success
Regardless of which type of prompt you face on test
day, your basic plan to succeed is the same You have to
come up with a strong opinion or stance in regard to
the prompt If you are unsure in your stance, your
writing will be weak and your score will suffer
How-ever, your opinion is not enough Like a lawyer before
a jury, you must convince your reader with evidence
that your opinion is valid This evidence consists of
concrete examples, illustrations, and details In this
section, you will practice writing essays that offer
con-crete support for your opinions
The essay does not require specific knowledge of literature, history, or current events The topics are
broad enough so that you can use personal experience
to support your opinion However, while you can always rely on personal experience, and certainly many high-scoring essays do so, it is a good idea to brush up
on some general areas you are familiar with before the test day For example, you may have studied topics like discrimination and the civil rights movement that can
be applied to many possible questions, so you might want to review these topics
It is important to remember that while the prompts are general, your essay needs to be specific If you only address the prompt in general terms, without providing specific examples to support your position, you will not receive a high score
Scoring
As the expert graders score your paper, they will be grading it holistically This means that rather than using a point system that awards you a certain number
of points for each component, they will be looking at your response as a whole and awarding it a score How-ever, as they determine that overall score, the graders will be focusing on four areas: meaning (content), development (support), organization (flow of ideas), and language use or mechanics (grammar)
Although a specific point value is not assigned for each component, these are the areas that will be assessed and considered when the grader arrives at a score Scores range from a low of 1 (showing writing incompetence) to a maximum of 6 (demonstrating clear and consistent competence) The graders will focus on the strength of your argument Are you con-vincing? Do your ideas make sense? Do you have insightful, supported comments on the topic? Do your ideas flow logically? In addition to looking for this content, the graders will be paying attention to your writing style Is it grammatically fluent? Are you observing the standard rules of grammar, punctua-tion, and spelling? Is your vocabulary sufficient to adequately put forth your ideas? Is your essay interesting?
A modified copy of the rubric follows: