Ielts writing task 2 corrections

Thank you and congratulate you for downloading the book “Ielts Writing Task 2 Corrections: Most Common Mistakes Students Make and How to Avoid Them Box set 15 in 1.” This book reveals nu

Trang 2

Ielts Writing Task 2 Corrections

Trang 3

quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews

Legal & Disclaimer

The information contained in this book and its contents is not designed toreplace or take the place of any form of medical or professional advice; and isnot meant to replace the need for independent medical, financial, legal orother professional advice or services, as may be required The content andinformation in this book have been provided for educational and

entertainment purposes only

The content and information contained in this book have been compiled fromsources deemed reliable, and it is accurate to the best of the Author’sknowledge, information and belief However, the Author cannot guarantee itsaccuracy and validity and cannot be held liable for any errors and/oromissions Further, changes are periodically made to this book as and whenneeded Where appropriate and/or necessary, you must consult a professional(including but not limited to your doctor, attorney, financial advisor or suchother professional advisor) before using any of the suggested remedies,

techniques, or information in this book

Upon using the contents and information contained in this book, you agree tohold harmless the Author from and against any damages, costs, and expenses,including any legal fees potentially resulting from the application of any ofthe information provided by this book This disclaimer applies to any loss,damages or injury caused by the use and application, whether directly orindirectly, of any advice or information presented, whether for breach ofcontract, tort, negligence, personal injury, criminal intent, or under any other

cause of action

You agree to accept all risks of using the information presented inside this

book

You agree that by continuing to read this book, where appropriate and/ornecessary, you shall consult a professional (including but not limited to yourdoctor, attorney, or financial advisor or such other advisor as needed) beforeusing any of the suggested remedies, techniques, or information in this book

https://t.me/writingandgrammar

Trang 4

Table of Contents INTRODUCTION

Trang 5

Thank you and congratulate you for downloading the book “Ielts Writing

Task 2 Corrections: Most Common Mistakes Students Make and How to Avoid Them (Box set 15 in 1).”

This book reveals numerous common mistakes students make in each type ofessay of IELTS writing task 2 Then, it will suggest corrections for these allmistakes to help students have a better understanding, avoid unexpected

mistakes and achieve a high score in the IELTS Writing task 2

As the author of this book, I believe that this IETLS writing corrections bookwill be an indispensable reference and trusted guide for all students who want

to maximize their score in IELTS academic writing task 2 I guarantee that allsample essays corrections in this book are practical and not available in anyother IELTS textbook or on any website as well When you read and learnfrom this book, you will certainly know that it has been written by an

experienced teacher, who has spent thousands of hours in a classroom, whounderstands IELTS students’ needs and who is totally able to help them anddefinitely you are not an exception stay away from the most common

mistakes in IELTS writing task 2 and achieve your IELTS writing goal

Thank you again for purchasing this book, and I hope you enjoy it

Let’s get started!

Trang 6

Most Common Mistakes Students Make And How To Avoid Them (Book 1)

— JOHNNY CHUONG –

Trang 7

quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews

Legal & Disclaimer

The information contained in this book and its contents is not designed toreplace or take the place of any form of medical or professional advice; and isnot meant to replace the need for independent medical, financial, legal orother professional advice or services, as may be required The content andinformation in this book have been provided for educational and

entertainment purposes only

The content and information contained in this book have been compiled fromsources deemed reliable, and it is accurate to the best of the Author’sknowledge, information and belief However, the Author cannot guarantee itsaccuracy and validity and cannot be held liable for any errors and/oromissions Further, changes are periodically made to this book as and whenneeded Where appropriate and/or necessary, you must consult a professional(including but not limited to your doctor, attorney, financial advisor or suchother professional advisor) before using any of the suggested remedies,

techniques, or information in this book

Upon using the contents and information contained in this book, you agree tohold harmless the Author from and against any damages, costs, and expenses,including any legal fees potentially resulting from the application of any ofthe information provided by this book This disclaimer applies to any loss,damages or injury caused by the use and application, whether directly orindirectly, of any advice or information presented, whether for breach ofcontract, tort, negligence, personal injury, criminal intent, or under any other

cause of action

You agree to accept all risks of using the information presented inside this

book

You agree that by continuing to read this book, where appropriate and/ornecessary, you shall consult a professional (including but not limited to yourdoctor, attorney, or financial advisor or such other advisor as needed) beforeusing any of the suggested remedies, techniques, or information in this book

Trang 8

Table of Contents Sample 1

Trang 9

Thank you and congratulate you for downloading the book “Ielts Writing

Task 2 Corrections: Most Common Mistakes Students Make And How To Avoid Them (Book 1).”

This book reveals numerous common mistakes students make in each type ofessay of IELTS writing task 2 Then, it will suggest corrections for these allmistakes to help students have a better understanding, avoid unexpectedmistakes and achieve a high score in the IELTS Writing task 2

As the author of this book, I believe that this IETLS writing corrections bookwill be an indispensable reference and trusted guide for all students who want

to maximize their score in IELTS academic writing task 2 I guarantee that allsample essays corrections in this book are practical and not available in anyother IELTS textbook or on any website as well When you read and learnfrom this book, you will certainly know that it has been written by an

experienced teacher, who has spent thousands of hours in a classroom, whounderstands IELTS students’ needs and who is totally able to help them anddefinitely you are not an exception stay away from the most common

mistakes in IELTS writing task 2 and achieve your IELTS writing goal

Thank you again for purchasing this book, and I hope you enjoy it

Let’s get started!

Trang 10

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Trang 11

Gender equality in education is a major concern Therefore, some peoplebelieve that the number of students in both genders should be equally

accepted in all majors However, I am of the opinion that as long as the

students’ potential and ability meet the requirements, they can be acceptedregardless of sexes

Firstly, it is extremely difficult to achieve and maintain the balance in thenumber of male and female students All candidates have their own skills,ability and aspirations that fit specific fields of study Therefore, acceptingstudents in terms of gender may lead to discriminating quality of education, aspotential candidates are limited because of their sexes Moreover, if gender is

a part of the admission requirements, it is easy to predict that gender

inequality will increase, which is supposed to be avoided

Secondly, the aim of education is encouraging people to pursue their dreamsand develop their potential Therefore, skills, abilities and achievements

should be the most important and only standards Entering in a place wherepeople are at similar level and aspiration will be a great opportunity for

students to be motivated and get better If people cannot be free to dictatetheir own study and future, society will waste a huge amount of talented andhelpful people

In conclusion, I strongly believe that education should not include the

requirements of gender for any reasons It will not reduce the problem ofinequality, but increase it instead The admission should strictly base on merit,achievements and aspiration

Trang 12

Gender equality in education is a major concern (Suggestion: Gender equality

in education has always been a major concern through the centuries/ Genderequality in education has been increasing in importance through the

centuries) Therefore, some people believe that An increasing number ofpeople presume that/ A growing number of people take the view that the

number of students in both genders should be equally accepted in all majors

an equal number of male and female students should get admitted in everysubjects/majors offered in a university However, I am of the opinion that aslong as the students’ potential and ability meet the entry requirements, theycan be accepted regardless of sexes

Firstly, it is extremely difficult to achieve and maintain the balance in thenumber of male and female students All candidates have their own skills,ability and aspirations that fit which are appropriate to specific fields of study

Therefore (This is the second time you use this word There are many wordshaving the same meaning with “therefore” such as: Hence, consequently,thus… remember that there is a slight difference among these words “Hence”usually refers to the future “Thus” usually refers to the past It is often used

to indicate a conclusion), accepting students in terms of gender may lead to

result in discriminating quality of education quality discrimination in

education, as potential candidates are limited because of their sexes whichmakes qualified candidates limited because of their sex Moreover In addition(“moreover” and “besides”: These words are quite unusual in essay writing sotry not to use it too much in your academic writing Try using “in addition”,

“also” to add extra information to an idea), if gender is a part of the admissionrequirements if sex is one of the determining factors of the admission

requirements, it is easy to predict that (unnecessary) gender inequality will

increase undoubtedly have an increasing tendency, which is supposed to be

avoided prevented will have more suitable meaning

Secondly, the aim objective of education is encouraging to encourage people

to pursue their dreams and develop their full potential Therefore, This meansthat skills, abilities and achievements should be the most important and onlystandards universities should accept students on the basis of academic merit,and not on other criteria Entering in a place where people are at similar leveland aspiration all students are at the same/ equivalent level and aspiration

will be a great opportunity for students to be motivated and get better (tooprolix) motivate, inspire and make them develop better If people cannot befree to dictate their own study and future, society will waste a huge amount of

Trang 13

In conclusion, I strongly believe that education should not include the

requirements of gender for any reasons It will not reduce the problem ofinequality, but increase it instead The admission should strictly base on merit,achievements and aspiration (You should not use “ I strongly believe that…”

in conclusion part , Just for introduction part If you want to use that phrase,you should add “for both of the reasons above” before)

Suggestion: In conclusion, for both of the reasons above, I firmly disagreewith the statement in the question, and I believe that admission to universityshould be irrespective of gender, and based on merit only

Another Suggestion: Taking everything into account, the selection of

university students should be based on merit, and it would be both impracticaland unfair to change to a selection procedure based on gender

Trang 14

Agreement: Why universities should accept male and female students equally in every subject.

1 According to human rights, both genders must be permitted to study intheir favorite subject In Islamic countries, male doctors are not allowed tobecome Gynecologists, and this has increased the rate of mortality and

morbidity of cases

2 Males and females pay the same rate of taxes, so they must be given similaropportunity

3 Students will have a higher level of competition To achieve higher

encouragements from opposite gender, students will have tougher competitionthan when they compete with the same gender

4 This can help both sexes to increase their communication skills when itcomes to having closer relationships with the opposite sex Definitely,

students of these schools will most probably have less matrimonial problems

in the future

5 This will ensure the women empowerment and the society would benefitfrom this arrangement

Disagreement: Why universities should NOT accept male and female students equally in every subject.

1 Physically some areas of work and related study fields are not appropriatefor the women and that’s why they would naturally show less interest in thoseareas of study For example, a female construction engineer working in

outdoor may become frustrated by heavy physical activities that are normalfor men

2 Sensationally, women are more fitted to some areas of study than men.Nursing is a good example in this case So women in such subjects should get

Trang 15

Trang 16

gender-and-university-essay.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/06/ielts-writing-task-2-https://t.me/writingandgrammar

Trang 17

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route

to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school Discuss both views.

Trang 18

After graduating high school, the young always face with the problem

whether continue studying or not Some people believe that only keep going

to university or college so that students can have a successful career in thefuture, whereas others believe that working right after school is better option.Having a job after high school graduation is a good way for those want tomaturer and manage their finance early Firstly, since young people can earnmoney by themselves, they will likely be smarter to dealing with complexsituations in real life without being taught in class In other words, they willlearn many essential skills and a lot of experience such as how to

communicate an unpleasant customer or work more effectively Secondly,young people will be able to live independently on their own income so theycan use it to study some online courses or support their family

However, there are a variety of reasons why people should complete theirbachelor degree after high school The first reason is a college educationprepares young peOple to meet higher-level qualifications, which IS required

by most of employers Besides, graduaters usually have a higher salary thenothers working without any degrees In fact, the job market is becomingchallenging and competitive because there are so many applicants chasing thetop jobs In addition, students nowadays often do different part-time jobs andparticipate some social organizations while being still in university and

college Therefore, not only have a degree, they also have real experience

In conclusion, both working straight after school and study at college or

university have their own benefits that young people need to consider

Trang 19

After graduating from (or: upon graduation from) high school, the youngalways face with the problem of whether continue studying or not Somepeople believe that only keep going to university or college so that studentscan can enable students to have a successful career in the future, whereasothers believe that working right after school is a better option

Having a job after high school graduation is a good way for those want to

maturer support themselves/ live independently and manage their financeearly Firstly, since young people can earn money by themselves, they willlikely be are likely to be smarter to more clever in dealing with complex

situations in real life without being taught in class that are not raised for

discussion in class In other words, they will learn many essential skills and alot of experience such as how to communicate with an unpleasant customer orwork more effectively Secondly, young people will be able to live

independently on their own income so they can use it to study some onlinecourses or support their family their own income makes it easy for the young

to live independently from their family it is their decision how to use themoney, either for personal development or to support their family

However, there are a variety of reasons why people should complete theirbachelor degree after high school The first reason is a college educationprepares young people to meet for higher-level qualifications, which IS are

required by most of employers Besides, graduaters graduates usually have ahigher salary then others than those working without any degrees In fact, thejob market is becoming challenging and competitive because there are somany applicants chasing the top jobs In addition, students nowadays often dodifferent part-time jobs and participate in some social organizations while

being still in at university and college Therefore, not only have besides

having a degree, they also have real first-hand experience

In conclusion, both working straight after school and studying at college oruniversity have their own benefits that young people need to consider

Trang 20

In some country, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past Do you think this is a negative or positive development?

Trang 21

Nowadays, more and more individuals prefer to live alone rather than livewith their families In my opinion, this trend could have both positive andnegative consequence in equal measure

For a variety of reasons, people should try to live alone Firstly, people,

especially the young would have an independent life because they must beresponsible for anything they do themselves They have to learn to cooking,washing and paying for whatever they want Secondly, people who live alonewould have chance to practice your self- awareness You might make yourown plan and work follow it yourself without any reminders of your parents.For example, when you live with your family, your parents always announce

to you what to do and it make you annoyed but when you live alone, no onewould remind you so you could decide your life yourself

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages in the opinion given above.One reasons is family plays an integral part in guaranteeing personal metallife People who live alone would have no chance to take care for their otherfamily members and receive advices and words of encouragement from theirparents in order to creat their motivations to achieve their target Futhermore,living alone means that they would be charged for all costs yourself whichcould make your budget deficited For instance, you will have to pay for yourrental bill, electricity bill which you will not to pay if you live with yourfamily

In conclusion, the increase in one- person household will have both beneficialand detrimental effects on the public

Trang 22

Nowadays, more and more individuals prefer to live alone rather than livewith their families In my opinion, this trend could have both positive andnegative consequences in equal measure

For a variety of reasons, people should try to live alone Firstly, people,

especially the young would have an independent life because they must beresponsible for anything everything (“anything” is used in negative sentences)

they do themselves Specifically, they have to learn to cooking, washing andpaying for whatever they want cook, wash and pay for whatever they want(after “to” is infinitive) Secondly, people who live alone would have chances

to practice your self- awareness/self-responsibility You might make your ownplan and work follow it yourself without any reminders of your parents

People who live on their own must be responsible for themselves without rely

on others for reminding or taking care of (avoid using “you” in the

explanative sentences to be objective) For example, when you live with yourfamily, your parents always announce to you what to do and it make youannoyed but when you live alone, no one would remind you so you coulddecide your life yourself (Suggested: For example, students moving to othercities to study have to maintain a reasonable routing even when their parentsare not around to help them.)

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages in the opinion given above.One reasons is family plays an integral part in guaranteeing personal mentalspiritual life People who live alone would have no chance to take care fortheir other family members and receive advices and words of encouragementfrom their parents in order to creat their motivations to achieve their targetliving alone give people no chance to care for their family members, whichmay cause worries Moreover, the family is undoubtedly the source of

inspirations and motivation; thus, being away from home may be hard forsome people Furthermore, living alone means that they would be charged forall costs yourself which could make your budget deficited living along couldlead to the deficit of the budget as people have to cater for their own needswithout financial support from their parents For instance, you will have topay for your rental bill, electricity bill which you will not to pay if you livewith your family

In conclusion, the increase in one- person household will have both beneficialand detrimental effects on the public

Trang 23

Some working parents believe childcare centers can provide best care for their children, others believe that family members like grandparents can

do a better job Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

Trang 24

Nowadays, the awareness about taking care of children of many parents isimproved, which means that they begin to concern about children care

systems While many argue that children care center is always the best choice,others consider that family members can do this mission in better way From

my perspectives, I strongly think that there are also both negative and positiveeffects for each choice

It is undeniable fact that children care centers support a lot of advantages forthe development of children Firstly, a new environment for the far-reachingdevelopment of children is a reason explaining for the birth of these centers.Besides hoping their children grow-up naturally, parents undoubtedly wanttheir child taken in helpful situations for their future education Additionally,the significant increase number of kidnapping of children lead to the

uneasiness of spouse about finding a security place for their children

However, children still face some barriers in readjusting their behavior whenliving along many new friends even they must undergo a feeling of

abandoned

On the other hand, the love affairs of family’s members are enough for them

to hand out what is best for their children Many people like grandparents willteach their children about society by their extensively experiences For

example, despite enabling children to watch TV to amplify their knowledge,grandparents can take them to countryside and show them about beautiful life.Notwithstanding, too much fondness given for children by family’s membersmay cause disadvantages such as headstrong, lazy even be effected by badthings in society

In conclusion, the decision to choose suitable way to take care of children isimportant In spite of thinking about finding high quality centers, parentsshould consider about the necessity of family’s members in teaching children

Trang 25

Nowadays, the awareness about taking care of children of many parents isimproved, which means that they begin to concern about children care

systems While many argue that children care center is always the best choice,others consider that family members can do this mission in a better way From

my perspectives, I strongly think that there are also both negative and positiveeffects for each choice

It is an undeniable fact that children care centers support provide/ bring about

a lot of advantages for the development of children Firstly, a new

environment for the far-reaching development of children is a reason

explaining for the birth of these centers Besides hoping their children grow-up naturally, parents undoubtedly want their child taken in helpful situationsfor their future education parents undoubtedly want their child to be raised infavorable conditions for their future education Additionally, the significantincreasing number of the kidnapping of children lead to the uneasiness ofspouse about finding a security secure/ safe place for their children However,children still face some barriers in readjusting their behaviors when livingalong with many new friends even they some must undergo a feeling of being

abandoned

On the other hand, the love affairs of family’s members are enough for themthe love of family members for the kids encourage them to hand out what isbest for their children Many people like grandparents will teach their childrenabout society by their extensively own (“extensively” is an adverb, you need

to have an adjective here) experiences For example, despite instead of

enabling children to watch TV to amplify their knowledge, grandparents cantake them to the countryside and show them about a beautiful life

Notwithstanding, too much fondness given for children by family’s membersmay cause disadvantages such as headstrong, lazy personalities or even beeffected being affected by bad things in society

In conclusion, the decision to choose a suitable way to take care of children isimportant In spite of thinking about finding high-quality centers, parentsshould consider about the necessity of family’s members in teaching children

Trang 26

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Trang 27

In almost colleges or universities, both boys and girls have had some chances

of having educational background in all subject for many centuries However,critics cite this policy as a mockery I am of the opinion that the pedagogicstrategy should be more encouraged due to numerous advantages as follows.Firstly, from a magnetic viewpoint, equal proportion of both sexes makes onesubject more interesting and attractive because of broader perspectives Forinstance, in terms of literature, if girls are likely to discover masterpiecesthrough romantic and idealized outlooks, boys do it practically Consequently,when males and females put forward their own ideas, classed would be moreintensively stimulating, resulting in their deeper passion into the subject.Secondly, one of the most important benefits is that both genders are in

position to combine and give a hand each other if necessary Imagining thatthe number of female pupils outweighs that of male counterparts in

Engineering, the former may have a sense of difficulty in fulfilling hard

works relating to civil building In contrast, if this rate is roughly equal, theycan share trouble in their career so as to delegate tasks properly According tothis measure, the difference of genders would be soon blurred

To sum up, human begins stand a chance of selecting and pursuing their

favorite subject I am in favor of same rate of both sexes simply because notonly does this educational policy makes classes though-provoking but it alsofacilitates the studying process

Trang 28

In almost most (“almost” means nearly, approximately…) colleges or

universities, both boys and girls have had some chances of having educationalbackground in all subjects for many centuries However, critics cite this

policy as a mockery boys and girls are given equal chances in taking part inevery field, which is believed to have no practical ground by some people

However, I am of the opinion that the/this pedagogic strategy should be moreencouraged due to numerous advantages as followed

Firstly, from a magnetic viewpoint, an equal proportion of both sexes makesone subject more interesting and attractive because of broader perspectives.For instance, in terms of literature, if while (to express the contrary betweentwo clauses) girls are likely to discover masterpieces through romantic and

idealized idealistic outlooks, boys do it practically boys tend to be more

practical Consequently, when males and females put forward their own ideas,classed classes/ the learning environment would be more intensively

stimulating, resulting in their deeper passion into the subject

Secondly, one of the most important benefits is that both genders are in

position to combine and give a hand each other if necessary able to studytogether and give each other a hand if necessary Imagining that the number

of female pupils outweighs that of male counterparts in Engineering, theformer may have a sense of difficulty in fulfilling hard works relating to civilbuilding In contrast, if this rate is roughly equal, they can share trouble intheir career so as to delegate tasks properly I don’t think this example is

persuasive as Engineering tend to have a larger number of boys, not girls.According to this measure, the difference of genders would be soon blurred

To sum up, human begins beings stand a chance of selecting and pursuingtheir favorite subject I am in favor of the same rate of both sexes simplybecause not only does this educational policy makes classes though-

provoking but it also facilitates the studying process

Trang 29

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a

compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Trang 30

It is widely suggested that it is a must for students to be involved in the

unpaid community service as a part of high school curriculums From myperspective, I agree with this idea to encourage all students to take part in thissocial service but not compulsory

To begin with, it is undeniable that many voluntary programmes would helpstudents to gain a better experience of life In fact, meeting people with

different backgrounds is an effective way for students to understand the moralvalues of humanity, which means that students can realize more things

wonderful than money and this really affects on children’s behaviors andthinkings It is also true for the case that social life skills can be created whilestudents often participate in voluntary programs For example, working for acharity or particularly being a member of social organizations at schools,teenagers will have more opportunities to develop their basic skills such asorganizational skills, punctuality, cooperation, give-and-take and so on Moreimportant, this skills are extremely essential to enhance their CVs or job

applications because more firms in these days require their staff have enoughknowledge and talent to struggle with work in different situations

Another benefit students would get through unpaid community service is thehealthier lifestyle It is no doubt that joining in charitable programs will

stimulate students work more and flexible as well instead of just sitting right

in front of the telly and do nothing By this way, students will make morefriends and create more relationships with different members, which avoids asedentary lifestyle or even risks such as heart diseases or obesity Rarely they

do come up with a lot silly ideas such as violence or criminal behaviors

In conclusion, it is very necessary for students to take part in communityprograms without paying money so in the near future hopefully this trendwould be more popular in all schools

Trang 31

It is widely suggested that it is a must for students to be involved in the

unpaid community service as a part of high school curriculums From myperspective, I agree with this idea to encourage all students to take part in thissocial service but not compulsory I agree with the view that all students

should be encouraged to take part in this social service voluntarily

To begin with, it is undeniable that many voluntary programmes would helpstudents to gain a better experience of life In fact, meeting people with

different backgrounds is an effective way for students to understand the moralvalues of humanity, which means that students can realize more things

wonderful wonderful things than money and this, which really affects onchildren’s behaviors and thinkings thoughts It is also true for in the case that

social life skills can be created students could be exposed to social life skillswhile when students often participate in voluntary programs For example,working for a charity or particularly being a member of social organizations atschools, teenagers will have more opportunities to develop their basic skillssuch as organizational skills (you could use: team work), punctuality,

cooperation, give-and-take and so on More importantly, this these skills areextremely essential to enhance highlight their CVs or job applications becausemore firms in these days require their staff to have enough knowledge andtalent to struggle with work in different situations

Another benefit students would get through unpaid community service is the

healthier lifestyle It is no doubt that joining in charitable programs will

stimulate students to work more and flexible as well instead of just sittingright in front of the telly and do nothing participate in outdoor activities

instead of engaging in the televisions or laptops, which helps them to keep fitand healthy By this way, students will make more friends and create morerelationships with different members, which avoids prevents a sedentary

lifestyle or even risks such as heart diseases or obesity Rarely they do do they

come up with a lot of silly ideas such as violence or criminal behaviors

In conclusion, it is very necessary for students to take part in communityprograms without paying money so in the near future hopefully this trendwould be more popular in all schools (This sounds inappropriate for the

context You should just summarize your idea and give your opinion)

Trang 32

In many countries, the government spent a large amount of money on improving internet access Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money?

Trang 33

In recent years, governments allocate a huge amount of budget on upgradinginternet connection There are some ways to explain why this policy is

applied and I believe that this is the best effective investment in the

development

Governments pour money into improving internet access for some reasons.Firstly, economically speaking, the internet is a key tool in order to developthe economy of many nations in the globalization Thanks to the

technological breakthrough, entrepreneurs are easy to communicate with theirpartners in different countries As a result, they can introduce and trade theirproducts on around the world Famers, for example, from remote areas areable to advertise their agricultural products on the internet to draw attentionfrom consumers When those products become well-known in the market,farmers can sell them more successfully and gain more money to support theirfamilies In this way, it can be seen that this policy of government is

extremely worthy

Secondly, when it comes to education aspect, if people are possible to accessthe internet, they will enhance a variety of information The internet is a

reservoir of knowledge and informative sources which helps users can findany information they want For instance, students may learn online whereverthey are Once they can connect the internet, they have a chance to access top-notch knowledge from a range of courses in many reputable universities Notonly do the internet help people widen their visions, but it also enables

governments to train a better workforce

In conclusion, I believe that funding in the internet access will help

governments develop their countries in terms of economy and education

Trang 34

In recent years, governments allocate a huge amount of budget on upgradinginternet connection There are some ways to explain why this policy is

applied and I believe that this is the best the most effective investment in thedevelopment

Governments pour money into improving internet access for some reasons.Firstly, economically speaking, the internet is a key tool in order to developthe economy of many nations in the globalization (age/process) Thanks to thetechnological breakthroughs, entrepreneurs are easy to communicate with areable to communicate with/ can easily communicate with (these ways are morenatural) their partners in different countries As a result, they can introduceand trade/export their products on around the world Farmers, for example,from remote areas are able to advertise their agricultural products on the

internet to draw attention from consumers When those products becomewell-known in the market, farmers can sell them more successfully and gainmore money to support their families In this way, it can be seen that thispolicy of the government is extremely worthy

Secondly, when it comes to education aspect, if people are possible to accessthe internet, they will enhance a variety of information their knowledge would

be enhanced significantly The internet is a reservoir of knowledge and

informative sources which helps users can find any information they wantkeep themselves updated on any aspects they want For instance, studentsmay learn online wherever they are Once they can connect the internet, theyhave a chance to access top-notch knowledge from a range of courses in manyreputable universities Not only do the internet help people widen their

visions, but it also enables governments to train a better workforce

In conclusion, I believe that funding in the internet access will help

governments develop their countries in terms of economy and education

Trang 35

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities Do you agree or disagree?

Trang 36

Although making money is an important purpose of each company,

enterprises also need to take care of social issues In my opinion, I absolutelyagree with the idea that businesses should also have public responsibilitiesbesides maximizing profits

On one hand, the effort of making money would bring some benefits on

society Firstly, the higher profits companies make, the higher taxes they have

to pay As a result, government could use this money for education and

healthcare, which leads to an improvement in the quality of life Secondly, byearning more revenues, enterprises can expand their businesses such as

producing better products and services for customers or create job

opportunities for unemployers

On the other hand, enviroment is the key point that businesses must haveresponsibilities on Without controls, production processes from manufacturysuch as toxic chemical, water permission and air pollution may have terribleimpact on inhabitant life For instance, Formosa Plastics Group on Ha Tinhprovince discharged industrial waste into the ocean killing a lot of fishes inmany Central coastal provinces Consequently, it causes many bad influences

on tourism and seefood and make the public image of the corporation oncommunity worse In addition, buyers and are more likely be aware of

enviromental business by using cleaner, ethical products and services

Therefore, firms can not extract resources without considering its

consequences

In conclusion, while generating profits is the top priority for each company, Isuppose that all businesses must pay attention on social responsibilities

Trang 37

opportunities for unemployers the unemployed

On the other hand, environment is the key point areas that businesses musthave focus responsibilities on Without controls, production processes from

munufactury manufactures such as toxic chemicals, water permission and air

pollution pollutants may have a terrible impact on inhabitant human life Forinstance, Formosa Plastics Group on in Ha Tinh province discharged

industrial waste into the ocean killing a lot of fishes in many Central coastalprovinces Consequently, it causes many bad negative influences on tourism

and seefood and make the public image of the corporation on communityworse degrade/ diminish the public image of the corporation In addition,buyers and are more likely to be aware of environmental business by usingcleaner, ethical products and services Therefore, firms cannot extract

resources without considering its consequences

In conclusion, while generating profits is the top priority for each company, Isuppose that all businesses must pay attention on to social responsibilitiescorporate responsibilities for society

Trang 38

Modern society is becoming more concerned about the increase in juvenile crime.

What do you think is the cause of the increase in juvenile crime? What solutions can you suggest?

Trang 39

As a side effect of society development, more and more young people arereported to commit crimes This phenomenon raises the concern among

people about finding reasons and solutions since the young are the future ofthe globe Personally, I believe juvenile crime can be explained by the

following causes

Firstly, due to high pressure of work, parents now have less time to take care

of their offsprings The high demand in work market makes adults put allefforts in working and when they come home, they are too exhausted to talk.Consequently, children become lack of orientation and can be distorted easily.For instance, a child who is taken to school by parents hardly has chance toplay truant or being approached by bad person On the other hand, those whoare free to do whatever they want can have higher chance to be involved incommitting crimes

Secondly, weaning age people can be affected easily by bad news in massmedia The development of technology not only enhances children to explorethe globe but also makes them become vulnerable to the bad sides of

information Currently, mass media lays too much emphasis on benefits andreports too many crimes to attract attention from citizen, As a result, childrenbecome familiar with offenses If previously, a child will feel really scarehearing about murder, now he or she seems to doesn’t afraid of it anymore Inaddition with the curiosity of the youth, they have tendency to experiencecommitting crimes themselves

In order to prevent juvenile crime, I believe both individuals and governmentshave to try their best Adults should spend more time educating their child byfinding balance in working lives and stop work from consuming their time toomuch On the other hand, governments should restrict the contents of massmedia and spread good news about nice person through broadcast or

Trang 40

As a side effect of society development, more and more young people arereported to commit crimes This phenomenon raises the concern among

people about public concern over finding determining reasons and solutionsreasons for and solutions to it since the young are the future of the globe.Personally, I believe juvenile crime can be explained by attributed to thefollowing causes

Firstly, due to the high pressure of work, parents now have less time to takecare of their offsprings (the plural form of ‘offspring’ is ‘offspring’) The highdemand in work market demanding/ challenging/ competitive job market

makes adults put all efforts in working and when they come home, they aretoo exhausted to talk Consequently, children become lack of parental

orientation and can be distorted spoiled easily For instance, a child who istaken to school by parents hardly has a chance to play truant or being

approached by bad person people On the other hand, those who are free to dowhatever they want can have higher chance are more likely to be involved incommitting crimes

Secondly, weaning age people as children grow older, they can be affectedeasily by bad news inappropriate information in from the mass media Thedevelopment of technology not only enhances enables children to explore theglobe but also makes them become vulnerable to the bad negative sides ofinformation Currently, the mass media lays too much emphasis on benefitsfinancial profits and reports covers too many crimes to attract attention fromcitizens, As a result, children become familiar with offenses If previously, achild will may feel really scared of hearing about murder, now he or she

seems to doesn’t does not seem to be afraid of it anymore In addition Withthe drive of with their curiosity of the youth, they , the youth have a tendency

to experience committing commit crimes themselves

In order to prevent juvenile crime crime is adolescents, I believe both

individuals and governments have to try their best Adults should spend moretime educating their children by finding balance in working lives work-lifebalance and stop work from consuming their time too much On the otherhand Besides, / in addition, / simultaneously, governments should restrict thecontents of mass media heavily censor violent parts in the mass media andspread good news about nice person people through broadcast or televisions

to enhance encourage the young to do good deeds

In conclusion, crime committed can be explained and prevented by in a

Tiêu đề	IELTS Writing Task 2 Corrections
Tác giả	Johnny Chuong
Chuyên ngành	IELTS Writing
Thể loại	essay

Định dạng
Số trang	750
Dung lượng	5,23 MB