communication between men and women

In the movie, Thelma and Louise react violently to men who communicate directly to them after they have changed their form of communication.. At the beginning of the movie Thelma and Lou

Communication Between Men and Women: They Can't be the Same

In communication between men and women, the two genders always

communicate differently Traditionally men communicate facts directly and are

less likely to discuss details that have little to do with the conversation

Women traditionally are more careful about what they say and seek

to build

relationships by the way they communicate These two forms of communication,

direct (traditional male) and indirect (traditional female), are consistent

throughout most cultures There are cases where the men

communicate indirectly

and the women directly but not where both the genders communicate

in the same

way (Lakoff 627) If the two genders do communicate in the same way, there is

bound to be serious conflict that usually involves violence

The movie Thelma and Louise tells the story of two women who have run

away from their traditional roles as women They have been put under too much

pressure from society and especially men Both Thelma and Louise feel a need to

change their position in society and they do it by changing the way they

communicate This change in communication between men and women causes the

women to take on a stronger and more direct language which also included robbery

and murder They change from the traditional female forms of communication to a

more masculine form of communication Once they change, the men who they come

into contact with change the way they communicate as well, or they face serious

consequences This demonstrates the fact that men and women are bound to

communicate differently In the movie, Thelma and Louise react violently to men

who communicate directly to them after they have changed their form of

communication These violent reactions are a result of the men breaking the

cultural ideal that men and women are bound to communicate

differently At the

beginning of the movie Thelma and Louise, Thelma and Louise were women who lived

lives of typical American women and communicated like one would expect a woman

communicate They were concerned mainly about their

relationships with men and

tried not to make them mad However, they needed a break from their lives and

the two women decided to take a quick vacation Their lives change when Thelma

is raped by a man she meets at a bar When Louise shoots and kills the rapist,

after he mocks them, they change the way they communicate and act

with other men.

They can no longer afford to seek or further emotional ties with men because

they are forced to make quick and decisive decisions This

creates a clear goal

they must achieve, and that is to get to Mexico to avoid being caught by the law

Once they have this clear and concise goal (a trait that a man would have),

they begin to communicate with men more directly They are less concerned with

the emotional ties they have with men, and they become focused on

a single goal,

which is leaving the country

The two cases where Thelma and Louise cause serious pain and sorrow to

men are the result of men not understanding that Thelma and

Louise have changed

the way they communicate These cases are when the Thelma and Louise pull the

truck driver over and when Louise shoots the rapist The only chance any man

has to convince them of something, was if a man communicated like

a woman

usually would But since Thelma and Louise have changed their communication

style to a more direct style, they see the direct form of

communication towards

them as a threat and act to eliminate that threat In the case

of the rapist

Harlen, he got caught in the cross over Louise decided to

communicate very

directly to the rapist which included shooting him in the heart

By threatening

to shoot him, it displays that she changed from an indirect form of

communication to a direct form of communication Though violence

is not

generally thought a form of communication, it conveyed the her feelings towards

him very directly and clearly Harlen did not know that Louise had changed her

form of communication and preceded to communicate to her very directly by

insulting her and using very obscene language When she changed the way she

communicated, she felt compelled to shoot him If he would have changed his

communication style to one which is more understanding and

concerned, he would

have not been shot because Louise would have not felt threatened

by the him

In the other case where a man does not recognize that Thelma and Louise

have changed their form of communication is when the two women pull the rude and

obscene truck driver over and blow up his truck By this time in the movie,

Thelma has obviously changed her form of communication to the same style that

Louise changed to When they ask this old truck driver to pull over, he is

thinking that the two women are physically attracted to him and that they will

communicate like traditional women Thelma and Louise are

obviously not, and

are just planing to get some revenge on him The truck driver communicates with

the two women throughout the movie Every time they pass him on the road, he

makes many of totally un-called-for comments and gestures towards them He does

not strive for any emotional connection to them like he would if

he truly knew

and understood their style of communication So when he is

conned by Thelma and

Louise to pull over, they decided to blow up his truck and

communicate the fact

that they did not appreciate the way that he treated them

These two examples show that communication styles between men and women

are different If they are not different, something bad is bound

to happen

The two genders must have different communication styles because they have

learned through culturalization that men and women communicate differently

There has been some kind of understanding or force that keeps the two genders

from communicating in the same way Lakoff describes this

understood force as

being "…some deep intrinsic physical and/ or psychological

distinction that

irrevocably divides the sexes: The need for polarization is very strong." It

may not be consciously understood by all people, but it is

subconsciously

understood by most since in nearly every culture, men and women are treated

differently from birth to the end of their lives (Lakoff

625-626)

When men did change their style of communication when they communicated

with Thelma and Louise they were more successful in communicating with them

With Thelma and Louise communicating more directly, men could not communicate

with them directly because this would result in violent

consequences Most men

in Thelma and Louise do change their style when they communicate with them

Louise's boyfriend, Jimmy, changes his form of communication fast and is

basically used by the two women to help them escape Also there

is the Police

officer, Hal, who is tracking down the Thelma and Louise who uses

a more

indirect style in communicating with the two Though the

ultimate situation for

these two men turned out negatively, they were able to

communicate better with

Thelma and Louise than the two men who communicated directly to them

In the case of Hal, the FBI agent, he is forced by Thelma and Louise to

communicate indirectly because the two women are speaking

directly to him He

switches over to the indirect form as soon as he begins to

communicate with

Thelma and Louise He appears too be "soft" and to have some kind of emotional

connection with Thelma and Louise He genuinely does not want anything to

happen to them and seems to believe the two's story Hal has taken this case

personally One can see this in the concern on his face when he speaks to the

suspects on the phone and when he runs after them as they drive over the cliff

He asks them "Can't we sit down and talk about it?" This sounds like something

a woman would say rather than a man would say, demonstrating that Hal has

changed his form over to a more feminine from of communication

Louise's boyfriend, Jimmy, also takes a more indirect and feminine style

of communication with Thelma and especially Louise He takes this feminine

style to an extreme by letting Thelma and Louise use him He gives them money

for their escape even though he does not want them to go He is trying anything

to keep his connection with Louise Jimmy can communicate the best with Louise

because he approaches her with this feminine style This is shown by the long

conversations they have while they exchange the money and the clear

understanding they have about each other when they separate He even asks

Louise to marry him while he is giving her the money Jimmy shows a great need

for intimacy with his proposal and also he shows his feelings for Louise This

proposal is the ultimate expression of connection with Louise and shows his

emotional tie he has to her He is very open and shows his

emotions in his body

language, which are also characteristics of traditional feminine communication

(Lakoff 627)

The contrast that exists in communication between men and women is shown

clearly in Thelma and Louise The movie shows what happens when the two genders

communicate similarly and differently When they communicate differently their

is a good understanding of each other and a greater sense of connection between

the two people communicating; which was shown well by the FBI agent Hal and

Louise's boyfriend Jimmy When a man and a woman communicated in the same way,

there was conflict between the two This was illustrated well by the truck

driver and the rapist Harlen and the conflicts they had with Thelma and Louise;

proving the point that men and women must communicate

differently