People australia TruePDF 11 march 2019

“I love being in doggy so I can get the ROUGH FUCKING that I enjoy and still be able to play with MY PUSSY at the same time.” Were you a fan of stick flicks before you started your caree

STUNNAS WHO’LL GIVE YOU YELLOW FEVER!

14

GIRLS NEXT DOOR

IBC_19594AA_PROOF_ ONLY.pdf

Hollywood icons go brunette as

peroxide sales plummet!

WHAT the fug is

going on, Hollywood?

Firstly,

Avengers: Infinity War

DOESN’T get nominated for

a Best Picture award at this

year’s Oscars And now

some of moviedom’s

SEXIEST BLONDES have

turned into BRUNETTES!

It began last month when

Australian superstar Cate

Blanchett ditched the

golden locks for the BAFTA

award ceremony in London

The domino effect quickly

kicked in with Emilia Clarke,

Emma Stone and Charlize

Theron ALL packing away

their bottles of PEROXIDE

and darkening their hair,

thereby DARKENING the

in a new play

“With Emilia, she did it for herself,” said Nic “Having wrapped the last season of

Game Of Thrones, it marked

the end of the chapter

The Oscars presented the perfect opportunity to debut

a new look.”

As for Emma and Charlize, we have no fucking clue why they did it, but we want this terrible trend to stop NOW!

Because the cliché is true: blondes have MORE FUN…and so do our KNOBS when we use them for our WANKING FANTASIES!

WICKED WOMAN

Sam has sin

in her heart .and her pussy!

P H O T O S B Y W I C K E D SHE’S NO

Samantha Saint isn’tjust a talented cum-guzzling FUCKSTER; she’s also warm, funny and can talk intelligently for hours about a range of subjects from politics to astrophysics But we just talked to the 31-year-old Memphis belle about BLOWIES ’cos we’re THICK.

WHAT’S your fave on-set sexual activity, Sam?

“I love sucking cock It really TURNS ME ON pleasing a man and challenging myself to take

as much of it as I can DOWN

MY THROAT.”

How do you like to be dicked?

“I love being in doggy so I can get the ROUGH FUCKING that

I enjoy and still be able to play with MY PUSSY at the same time.”

Were you a fan of stick flicks before you started your career?

“Before I got in the industry

I was into Jenna Jameson

I always thought she was so beautiful I didn’t watch much porn but I knew who she was and wanted to be like her.”

Who are your role models in XXX, mate?

“I really look up to Jessica

Drake She a great performer,

a sex educator, appeared in many mainstream projects and

is passionate about several charitable causes Overall, I think she’s a beautiful person with a kind heart.”

Tell our readers on how to

mprove their sex-lives

Take your time and do lots

ULTI-AVN-nominated

w

T

c

THE Oscars have come and gone again this year and, like everybody

else, we could barely stay awake watching the SNOOZEFEST So it

was PURE LUCK that we stumbled across this NIP SLIP of

28-year-old Aussie supermodel Shanina Shaik on the red carpet at the Vanity

Fair Oscar Party.

OSCAR

WORTHY

VANITY FAP

SEXTON LEGSSEPPO modelShauna Sextonhit the headlineslast year when it was revealed she’d shacked upwith ex-Batman Ben Affleck Tragically, they split upwhen he recently checked into rehab…probably forSEX ADDICTION (and who can blame him) But youcan see why Benjamin went there after eyeballing

the May 2018 edish of Playboy.

BATGIRL

THE dark, quirky and surprisingly raunchy

Doom Patrol is the latest comic book-based

telly show from the DC Universe streaming

channel, which is SADLY not available in

Australia as yet But when it is, you’ll get

to see the BOUNCING BOOZZIES of Seppoactrine Ashley Dougherty, 32, in the very first episode

FASHION modelConstance Jablonskiis SOFRENCH she cuddles BREAD and BAGUETTES inher BIRTHDAY SUIT We’ve no friggin’ idea why…but we’ll nibble on a slice of Constance spread

on toast any day of the week

COMIC

BOOBS

FULL FRONTAL

OH BOYKO!ACCORDING to our sources in the Kremlin,23-year-old modelAngelina Boykois a Russianbeauty who spends a shitload of time in Bali.She also appears to be allergic to clothes, as

documented in this Yume shoot by Yana Kalina.

This could explain why Aussies spend so much time in Bali, too

STAR of the SBS foodie show Giada Entertains, Giada De Laurentiis

is a 48-year-old Italian-born American chef, mother and deadset

COUGAR The chef was chilling in the surf at Miami, Florida when

her MEATBALLS fell out Beautly, the paparazzi were there to

capture her TASTY TREATS.

NIP DIP

YUMMY MUMMY

MAG WATCH

BORN in the frozen state of Alaska, Samantha Hayes is anything but FRIGID The 23-year-old started in the HORIZONTAL HUMPING GAME

at age 19 and has churned out 128 FEELTHY flicks so far You may

recognise her from such educational films as Cum Bubble Blower and

Eat My Pretty Feet.

SAMATHA HAYES

WHEN we recently stumbled upon the

DUMPLINGS of Megumi Kagurazaka in

Guilty Of Romance – the 2011 Japanese

film about a housewife who becomes

a porn star – we just had to show you her

ORIENTAL ORBS We must have been VERY

DRUNK to miss them first time round

GUILTY OF

PERVING

TWO WE MISSED

THEY say any publicity is

GOOD publicity, which isprobably why a new nailsalon in Perkins, Ohio hascalled itself Hand Jobs Nails & Spa!

Amid local outrage and mediaattention, owner Dawn Moon isrubbing her hands with glee andRAKING IN THE DOSH

“If you get your nose done it’scalled a NOSE JOB, right?” theclever businesswoman laughed

“Well, you come in here and getyour HANDS done You think ofsomething like that and don’t know

if you’ll ever do it, but I did.”

Not surprisingly, the town councilhas received some complaints from

members of the FUN POLICE andDawn might be forced to renameHand Jobs to something a littleless naughty

But she reckons she’s justbeing “playful” and the wowsersshould go FUCK THEMSELVES

Or go to Hand Jobs for a spot

of STRESS RELIEF

BAD SIGNS

PORN WATCH Our no-holes-barred round-up of adult entertainment

The cream of the adult film world tell us what (and who) they’re doing!

TRIPLE-X TWITTER

‘Every scene I do is technically

a DP because Jesus lives in my heart.’ – @MissyXMartinez

SENSUAL MOMENTS VOL 7

Starring: Brandi

Love, Valentina Nappi, Jessa Rhodes, Jade Nile

Made by: Erotica X Release date:

vadge-ble D had a low-key beginning

a clothed webcam model, which kly morphed into a full-on career KING THE KNOB This chick

es on danger and PENIS!

S IN: Teaching The Teacher;

With Destiny; Big Tit MILFs

’S IT FEEL TO BE SO SEXUALLY RABLE? “I love being wanted dored as a sex symbol it feels good I must say.”

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT WHEN YOU FIRST ROOTED ON CAMERA? “The first thought going through my head was

‘FUCK, YES! I’m ready for this.’”

TELL US ABOUT YOUR BEST SHAG EVER:

“I can’t just pick one I have amazing sexual experiences a lot My favourite is random hot public sex.”

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SEX POSITION AND KINKIEST MOMENT? “I love to be on top and ride, so I can be in control As for kinkiest moment, I once squirted on my partners face Haha! It was a complete accident and it turned us both on Oh…

and I once fucked on a rollercoaster!”

WHAT DO YOU HAVE A WEAKNESS FOR?

“Bisexual women.”

Y’KNOW, it’s not all

TRIPLE ANAL, guys and

gals SLAPPING each

other’s bums and

LITRES OF SPOOF

being blasted onto

a chick’s ace when it

comes to modern-day

porno Hell, no!

Sometimes, we just

wanna sit back with our

missus and watch a

grumble flick that’s a

bit more…ROMANTIC

That’s where Sensual

Moments Vol 7 from

Erotica X comes in

The beautifully shot

WANKING AID presents

four scenes featuring

couples BANGING

each other senseless

in very loving, VERY

We canguarantee

that Sensual

Moments will

have yoursignificant othSLUICING ATTHE GATE answallowing youPORK SWORDwild abandonshe watchesthis mucky cla

BORN:

QU

tahapr

asquOthri

DESI

anddamn

ROMANCE

’N’ROOTING

ar decidesERYrvicewaiternnersK

lidayinge

d

er

urwithafterassic

Jade (far left) and Val get sensual

and nude

GET BUCKED!

AS ALL punters know, some days smell like ROSES…and other days

REEK OF SHIT Pommy jockey Adam Wedge was having one of those

OTHER DAYS at the EBM Handicap Hurdle race in Newbury, England

The little fella got SQUASHED under the ARSE of his nag, Navajo War

Dance, when they failed to clear a jump mid-race Thankfully, neither

horse nor midget were hurt

TWO of the world’s SHITTEST HAIRCUTSare now available for FREE in Vietnam Tohonour the recent summit between SeppoPrezzo Donald Trump and North Korea’s

DICK-TATOR Kim Jong Un, a Hanoi barberoffered FREE cuts to anyone wanting tocopy their distinctive ’dos…probably ’cos no-one would PAY FOR THEM

ANIMAL carer Brittany Allen made socialmedia users FREAK OUT when she postedthis pic of her cuddling a GIANT WOLF TheMEGA MUTT is a grey wolf named Yuki and

he lives at the Shy Wolf Sanctuary inNaples, Florida And if you think Yuki’sscary, imagine a PACK OF HIM hunting you through the wilds

HAIR FORCE UN!

a fucking cunt

Feed me more grandmas!

Girls so hot they’ll blow your cocks off!

enarr

ay – aren’t yourgot Asquith?”(pronouncing itith a hard “T”).squith replied,

“Yes, dear, but

’ is silent, asrlow’.” Burn!

c

ea

– the ic

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veshe

’ma

193

AN

MapaSa

MO

ic star

ntle Blond

O

n

etF

Ma

the ‘

DIE MOORE was a

n-up and porn sta

DGE in the 2000s,

ring in such epics

Mouthful Of Meat

nd Look What’s Up

Ass She also had

tilt at politics but

sadly didn’t get to

tle her beaut bum

in a padded

arliamentary seat

ARLIZE THERON

e perfect aired gal to run in his feature Hell, even starred in a

golden-017 fillum called

Atomic Blonde!

’ve been spilling

ur seed over the 3yo Seff Effrican

er since she first

off in 2 Days In

e Valley (1996)!

When it comes to SEXY Australian pollies, they don’t come any more kable than TANYA IBERSEK, current ALP deputy leader

d future PM when rolls Bill Shorten bout 18 months)

’d love to find out

if her carpet matches the curtains

Wp

ck

L

AneaWe

fuc

P

(ashinW

s

t

t

tha

2

evett

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ANIMAL HOUSE

Send your letters and pics to: The

Keeper, c/- Animal House, People

magazine, GPO Box 4088, Sydney, NSW 2001 Or email us at people@ bauer-media.com.au(with Animal

House in the subject line).

“I ORDERED this seafood soup onholidays in New Orleans,” chucklesGreg of Manjimup, WA “Youshould’ve seen the waiter’s facewhen I called him over to tell himthere was a vagina in my soup.”

THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE

GENITALS

ROOTING FOR OZ

AFTER banging a Yank chick recently I realised

my sexual performance would be how she viewsthe rooting rep of ALL Aussie males Don’t worry,blokes, I did us proud

Chook, Vic

Congrats on getting your end away, Chook.

Whenever

we root a foreigner, we pretend we’re from NZ…just

in case we FALL DOWN

NSW, “but fuck me!

Those leg kicks

fuckin’ hurt! Here’s

the bruise a couple

FAIR bite of the biltong!

How can you do a

section on AWESOME

chicks (Perfect 10s,

March 11) and leave

out the South African

goddess Genevieve

Morton She’s perfection

personified and should

be at the top of any

red-blooded male’s list

Jonty, WA

To be fair, it wasn’t a TOP

TEN of 10s It was just

a bunch of PERFECT

SHEILAS We could EASILY

do another yarn with 10

DIFFERENT beauties Now

that we think of it… we

definitely will!

SPORTIN’

MORTON

GEN = TEN

HARLEY’S HEAVENTHAT cheeky smile on Harley

(Mammary Lane, Feb 25)

made my day She looks like

she’d be a fun gal, especially

with that fab fart tank and

perfect pups Is she still here?

KL, SA

Sadly, Harley’s two-year visa RAN OUT a while back, so the gummint sent her back to the SHITMINES of Pomgolia She should have told them she was Peter Dutton’s nanny and she would’ve been fine.

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I DON’T understand the

current obsession that

people have with INNIE

vaginas I’m a hyooooooge

fan of OUTIES with a bit of

MEAT on them ’cos I like to

see what I’m EATING Can

you point me in the direction

of any Hollywood starlets

who’ve flashed fleshy flapsduring their careers?

Labia Lover, Qld

We love all SPADGERS, but the two celeb FLAPPERS that spring to our PERVERTED MINDS are Alexandria Daddario (below) and Scarlett Johansson (right) Bon appétit!

WHERE’S THE BEEF?

CURTAIN CALL!

THE CENTREFOLD

KATARINA HARTLOVA | 33 |

PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC

WE COULD point out

her LONG BLONDEHAIR, good looks,winning smile andkiller charisma, but the truth isthat we’re all just here to stare

at Katarina Hartlova’s 34DDMONEY-MAKERS! They’re themajor reason why the 33-year-oldEuro-spunk is still IN DEMANDafter 13 years in the jiz biz

Bash the bishop over this busty

Euro-queen of pawn…er, PORN!

WHAT do YOU think of your

mighty bazoombas, Kat?

“They started growing when I was a

teen For years I wished to have small boobs, but now I’m used to them.”

What revs your sexual motor?

“I like a nice arse on a man –

something plump that I can hold

onto I’m also turned on by nice

blue eyes and BIG HANDS.”

Aaaaaaaah, you know what they say about men with big hands? Er…they have to wear big gloves What’s your preferred way to make love?

“I like to be on top of a man and

control him My next favourite would

be missionary, so I can relax and let him do ALL THE WORK Haha!”

What’s the quickest way to make

you climax?

“Masturbating using a HAND-HELD

SHOWER HEAD while taking a

shower Honestly, I don’t have a lot

of time to play with myself these days due to work, but if I can find a spare

moment I’d prefer to have sex with

MY PARTNER and orgasm that way

It’s better than wanking.”

Absolutely! Most unusual place

you’ve fucked?

“I once did it on a train in Quebec

– that was nice.”

Finally, can you suck your own

See pg63 for details

IN THE SHOWER’

BONU ULL-O

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