Master call week 5 tủ tài liệu bách khoa

And if I just want my teeth clean, because let's say I have a tea stain or something like that, I know whom I'm going to go back to.. And even though I have barriers, I feel like every t

I;M$hi

Welcome, welcome, welcome to our newest Zero to Launch master call, week five Can't wait to

dive in tonight Just wanted to tell you an interesting experience I had this morning I went to

get my teeth cleaned Where do you find someone to clean your teeth, right? I live in two cities,

so I have two different dentists, etc But I didn't really have a dentist in New York So I went

looking I actually asked my assistant to look for me Who are we kidding? And I said, "Just

find me someone that'll clean my teeth I don't need anything fancy I'm going to pay cash Just

find me something simple." So she comes back to me and she says, "I found the perfect place." I

said, "Oh, really?" I started to get excited So she schedules an appointment, she says, "I love

them because they have a super clear website All they focus on is cleaning your teeth and teeth

whitening That's it." And I said, "Sounds good." So I didn't even care about the price I didn't

even know the price until I walked in there today I walk in I say, "Hi, my name's Ramit I

have an appointment at noon." They said, "Great, fill out these forms." And one of the forms

explained what it is they do They said, "We are not a general dentistry service We do cleanings

and we do teeth whitening That's it."

The space was minimalist It was very modem Like you would imagine it's the Uber of dentists

It's very simple, clean I go in there; they explain some stuff to me They said, "Are you looking

for teeth whitening today?" I said, "Nope,just want to get my teeth clean."

They did it; it took about an hour I walked out of there And it's interesting The price I paid

was actually more than I paid for a full checkup at my regular dentist in San Francisco Let

me say that again Just to clean my teeth, not to do an X-ray, etc Just to clean my teeth, it cost

more than the general dentist I see in San Francisco

What does this tell you? It tells you that specializing can be incredibly profitable and incredibly

valuable to your target audience See, I don't want 5 million different options And frankly, if

you're a dentist, how are you going to compete against all the other dentists?

Well, this dentist said, "Hey, I'm going to focus on just these one or two things I'm going to

tum my customers over quickly So maybe instead of 6o minutes, we do it in 45 because we do

so many, we're so specialized And I'm going to charge the same or even more."

That's a totally different way oflooking at business You're de-commoditizing yourself You're

becoming a specialist And if I just want my teeth clean, because let's say I have a tea stain or

something like that, I know whom I'm going to go back to So keep this in mind for your own

business You don't have to just do what everyone else is doing Clever strategy comes in all

forms and all industries And today's example of a dentist is just yet another one Another way

you can take what everyone else is doing and zig when they zag

So I want to give you a quick heads-up on who we're going to talk to today Here are a few names

that we're going to speak to We have a lot; I want to try to get to everyone tonight And if I don't,

don't worry I'm still around I will be talking in the forum, and I'll be here next week as well

So we're going to start with Cynthia B., then Katie A., Garrett D., DonnaS and Jenny L And

from there, we'll move on to several other people that I've got scheduled as well So stand by as

we go to our first person Cynthia B., are you there?

Alright So usually, I ask people, "What surprised you about the program?" But this time, I

want to ask you something else What interesting psychological effects have you been noticing

as you go through the program? For example, what barriers have been coming up? Tell us a

little bit about that

mmw•

Oh So I feel this program has really taught me a lot about patience I've taken a few programs

before, and I was always in a rush to get my website out, to get my products out But with you,

I really like how much you're really supporting us to overcome any struggles,like the random

emails that I get from you, your support on the forum and here

So I feel I've been way more focused than before And even though I have barriers, I feel like

every time I have struggle, even though you don't me, I feel like you're talking to me directly

and you're really hitting the spot You're calming me down

'¥'*"' Perfect And that's a great answer and I appreciate that Just one question You said you've done

other programs and you would rush to get a website up

Yeah

i@f,iii

Could you contrast the difference between what you did there and what you felt, versus what

mn•w•

Yeah, definitely So before, I felt it was way more competitive The whole atmosphere was

competitive I felt like, "Who's going to get his thing up first?" I didn't really feel a lot of support

as a community I definitely did not expect you to be there for us on the forum That was

definitely a huge thing for me that totally surprised me And it's really made me feel that you're

there to take care of us and to listen to us

For the other programs, I felt the level of details .! felt like everything was dumped at us at

once, and it was very overwhelming With you, I feel like I will always go back to your program

and I will always have the answers And this is something I always discuss with my husband

Even if I don't finish the whole thing or even if I'm not on time, I know that I will use your

material again If I ever have a question, I know that my question will be answered in your

So I posted my question before on the forum Let me tell you a little bit about myself I'm a

certified life coach I'm a new author And my new niche is helping single, ambitious women

between the ages of 24 and 35 heal from their breakup and really focusing on loving themselves

and attracting a long-term relationship

So what I've been struggling with is really positioning myself For my audience, most of my

clients right now are basically women who got dumped I really don't like to use that word, but

this is how it is

And they feel like, really, their heart is broken They feel there is something wrong with them

They are afraid that they're going to be alone forever; they don't know what to do But their

dream is to really be in a long-term, successful relationship while they're independent and

they're confident So they don't want to lose themselves again in a relationship

My question is I'm not really sure if I'm positioning myself clearly, and I feel I don't want to

move forward before I know that at least I nailed my positioning 8o% so that I don't go back and

forth, because this is what happened to me before in my previous niches So I just want to make

sure that I'm nailing this

So what is your question?

mn•w•

My question is, I'm not really sure how to position myself clearly

i@f.iii

I understand Let's take it step by step First of all, I know that we had a rather involved back

and forth in the community Which was good; I really appreciated that you took what I had to

say, as well as other people

So you told me that the most burning pains that your audience has is, number one, "I'm

heartbroken because you left me." Number two, "What's wrong with me?" Number three, "I

don't want to be alone forever What should I do?" Good

Their main dreams Number one, "Be strong, confident and independent." Number two, "Be

loved for who they are and feel safe and secure in a lasting relationship," also known as

marriage

'41h'*'

Yeah

Good So I took a look at your website And I want to read off the copy that's right at the top

Because this is your headline and your sub-headline, and then you go right into an opt-in box

So I'm going to read off that copy and then we're going to work on that together, okay?

•wnnm.•

Okay Awesome

•MM+

Alright So there's a nice picture of you looking towards the copy, which is great And the

headline says, "I'll help you create a lasting and mindful love story!" with an exclamation point

And then, underneath it, in size 12 to 14 font, "Three toxic habits that push men to leave (Even

the most successful women) Enter your email address to discover what they are and learn the

number one secret to getting over your BF in record time for free." And then you prompt them

to enter their email and the button says, "Give me free access." Okay What do you think about

this?

mn•w•

It's confusing to me because I feel it has two different messages It has their dream, which is to

create a lasting love story, which is marriage And the other thing it has their pain, their deep

pain Their boyfriend just left them

But at the same time, the reason why I feel confused about this is because at that point, when

they come to me, they're not ready to be with someone else They don't want to think about

someone else They want to think about, "What's going on with me? Why did he leave me?"

You know what a lot of people come to me and ask? "Hey, Ramit, can you give me free money?"

Alright? A lot of people ask that Do you think I engage with that?

@~"*'

No

i@§iii

Actually, that's a weird question because I engage with all my trolls But in general, do you

think I really take them seriously? No If someone comes to me, "Hey, Ram it, can I borrow

$2o,ooo?" "No." "Can you give me free XYZ?" "No, I give away all my stuff for free Go use it

Most of it."

So just because people come to you with something does not mean you need to respond to that

specific thing Okay? That's a simple lesson to keep in mind

People want to come to me They literally say, "I want to start a passive income business." I'm

like, "You work at Target You make $8.50 and you're telling me you want to make $1 million

this year? It's not going to happen." Okay?

lfd"*'

Okay

i;h$111

So what we want to understand is, yes, where are they coming to you from? But also what is

their ultimate aspiration? As the expert, as the person who has been through it and is guiding

them through this challenging process, you need to be able to show them the possibility of what

they can do, even though they may not even be in that mindset yet

Do you see how "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" said, "Yes, it is possible to live a rich life Yes, you

can have two apartments or buy a round of drinks" or whatever When very few other people

were saying that Does that make sense?

One thing I sense here from your copy is that you're trying to squeeze everything into the first

time you meet them, which is the top of your website

Yeah

i@f.iii

That's like, just to take the dating analogy, if we meet at a bar and you say, "Oh, what do you do?"

And I'm like "Oh, my God I really got to impress her So I'm an author, I'm an entrepreneur, I

also do this, I went to this school, then I do this, and I wear these cool clothes, and I'm in this

cool place." And you're just like, "Ugh, too much, too soon," right?

«tdliM*

Right Yeah

•MM"

So we want to really get to the tip of the sphere and hone that number one thing that will

just get them to the next step So I would say don't worry that you have so much more to say

Your goal is just to get them to give you their ezrw.il address Get permiss»tf> engage in that

And over the next week, month, even years, youkan really ~ rt to show them everything you

have to offer So that's number one

Number two Do women want a mindful love story?

'*h"*' Hmm Well, it's going to come back to me, because I do

•MM+

Say it out loud to me Say that just in a normal sentence Let's see if you can even keep a straight

face Say it

It sounds like bullshit It sounds like a life coach speaking And by the way, you know I love to

joke around about life coaches

''*"*' I know

'MM"

I do it lovingly because some of them are very good, but almost all of them are horrible at

marketing

So this is classic life coach speak Which is like, "Oh, my God Let me look at my own life." It's

like you concoct these increasingly convoluted words that you end up in the clouds Let me just

read it off to you

"I'll help you create a lasting and mindful love story." And you're like, "Got it Nailed it." But you

never took that one extra step of just reading it out loud And if you do, you realize it just doesn't

sound authentic Do you agree?

m~nm.•

Yeah, I agree I agree about the mindful part

l@fulil

Okay Do you think the only problem with that is the word "mindful?" Say it to me Say it out

loud Let's just try it

Okay So I will say that I think that's better I do think that's a little bit generic, but at least it

sounds authentic If you met a woman and she said, "What do you do?" You say, "Oh, I help

women create lasting relationships." That sounds normal, right?

@~"*'

Yeah

i@§iii

And then, what if you said, "I help women create lasting and mindful love stories." Do you know

what goes through my head?

lfd"*'

What?

•MM"

I'm like "Oh, God It's some woo lady who's about to sell me on a MLM program." Okay? Now,

I'm not the target market, but I can pretty much tell you that that's what a lot of people would

think

So let's continue moving on I want to go through some copy examples And~· aga¥:~r4

move up to positioning So I don't think that women want a mindful love story ~ ou tell meJ n

mn•w•

They want to find the right guy who's going to commit to them And they can be completely

themselves with him They want to feel secure and safe They want to know that he's the one

and they don't have to go through all the roller coasters yeah, basically

i@§iii

Let me ask you that one more time I want you tighten up Because you started off really

strong and then you devolved into a lot of random stuff Tighten it up Give me the three most

important things that your market wants

•MM"

Find a man who commits, right?

Yeah

I;Uf.iii

Yes! This is a great insight So this rings true I know this because I have an innumerable

number of single female friends And this is exactly what they say

Now, the thing about "Safe and secure," they don't really say that They might feel it And it's

important to acknowledge it at some point in the copy But for me, if I'm writing a 20-page sales

page, that's on page 16 It's not that important

But finding the right man who will commit? You got that So I'd like to see your page reflect a

little bit different around that Now, let's also talk about what you wrote below that You said,

"Three toxic habits that push men to leave (Even the most successful women") Tell me about

this

mmm-•

Tell you about the habits or tell you why I wrote it?

Why did you write it?

lfdlillt.'

Well, because the people who come to me are people they've been dumped So the first

question they have is, "Why did he leave me? I want to know what's wrong me and why did he

leave me?"

So I thought if I tell them about things that push men away, this is basically answering their

urgent question

1;1-@11

Okay I don't buy it Maybe I'm not the expert at this But it doesn't resonate with me Do you

feel that or do you feel that it's perfect? How do you feel about this?

mn•w•

I feel it's negative

i@f.iii

It is negative, and negative is not always bad Let me give you a little bit of better copy If you're

going to go negative, you still have to use real copy So you said, "Three toxic habits that push

men to leave." Why not "The three reasons why men break up with women?" Or, "Three things

to stop doing now if you want to stop pushing men away?" What do you think of those?

«tdliM*

The last one, "Three things to stop doing now," wouldn't that be reflecting that they're still

already in a relationship?

•MM"

I don't think so I think there are a lot of women, including many that I know, that they

genuinely want to be in a relationship, but they find themselves pushing men away For

example, they go on a great first date, but they never get a call back Or they will get into a

relationship and then they sabotage it by doing XYZ things I think we probably both know

women like this

'i'M"*'

Yeah

i@fuiii

So that would speak to them You see?

So the point is to get very specific with your language There is a big difference between "Three

toxic habits that push men to leave." Which, in my opinion, it's just kind of irrelevant, it

doesn't really hit the mark With, "Three things to stop doing now if you want to stop pushing

men away."

This is for the woman; she has no problem getting a date But she has a problem where the

men don't call her back or they don't commit or stuff like that And if she sees that, she's like,

"That's me." You see?

•Mmw•

Okay, yeah

•MM"

Finally, I want to talk about two last things I want to talk about your audience choice You seem

to have gone down the route of targeting heartbroken women Which is, in my opinion, it's a

very narrow niche, very narrow Heartbroken women? That's one

The other option is women who want to find love I consider that very wide, probably too wide

There's a more specific area, you've heard me give the example of Ambitious women who want

to find love That's nice It's wide enough, but it's also specific

My question to you is, which one of those are you? And where would you like to fall on that

Well, speaking to ambitious women is very different than speaking to all other women They

use different words, they have different pictures, you know what I mean? So don't say you want

to speak to ambitious women unless you really want to speak to ambitious women Which one

doyouwant?

Gi:"M'

No, I do really want to work with ambitious women

'Mbll'

So now, we're talking about something very different We're talking about women who probably

make $8o,ooo plus They probably live in certain cities They probably make more than the

guys they go out with a lot We're talking about a whole different problem set Is that really what

you want to target?

mn•w•

I think so yeah

i@f.iii

Okay Because they're not complaining about being heartbroken Ambitious women are not

complaining about being heartbroken What are they complaining about? Let me give you this

feedback It's okay This is really challenging stuff This is not easy So I don't expect you to

have answers right here on the spot

But what I want to do tonight is get the ideas flowing and give you a little bit of direction So let

me repeat back these three potential audiences Heartbroken women, which I consider very

narrow Too narrow Women who want to find love, I consider that too vague And ambitious

women who want to find love That's a nice match

Note that you don't have to use "ambitious." You can choose a different type of woman But you

want to choose "Blank woman who wants to find love," that at least helps get you started

I would love to see you going after ambitious women From everything I've seen, you've never

once mentioned anything particular about ambitious women So don't feel like just because it's

a positive word that you should go after them Ambitious women have a very specific problem

set And you have to understand that You have to have been one to know the words they use

So what I would like to see you do is, first of all, I'm going to sum up everything we talked about

Number one, at the highest level, really think hard about who your audience is I do think that

it's a certain kind of woman who wants to find love The heartbroken part is but a mere bullet

point somewhere on the sales page And you can help them through it But ultimately, I don't

want to just address people's negativity I want to focus on the positive, what I can do for them

Second, you've got to get real with your copy It's not real; it's not authentic right now, okay?

And third, you're never going to be perfect before you launch So I do think that you, as you

said, you want to get 8o% of the way there Get some traffic and then you'll be able to see what

resonates and what doesn't

So let's just get you to that next step But I would like to see this site revised and I would like to

see you settle on something by next week Does that work?

GW"M*

Yeah, definitely

Alright, great job, okay?

Alright, love it We're going to go Emma next Emma, get ready, we're going to come to you

in about 30 seconds So a lot of different multi-dimensional perspective there with Cynthia's

business

A couple things for everyone to remember How wide are you going with your market? Are

you going, "I want to make money." That's pretty vague Or are you saying, "I want to help you

make money by freelancing." That's a little bit more specific But sometimes, we're starting to

see inklings of people getting too specific "I want to help carpenters set up a website in this

particular city."

Well, the market for that is very small If your concern is, "I don't have enough people to even

do research with," you have a problem So you want to get a little bit wider than that and make

sure that you have a big enough audience

Alright Very good And now, we are going to go to Emma Emma, are you there?

hb'M'

Hi I'm here Can you hear me?

Yes, how you doing?

h&lbt.i

Great, thank you

•MM"

Alright Pleasure to talk to you, Emma Before we get started, it's a perfect evening to speak

because just earlier today, you had a big breakthrough in the Face book community And

I'd like you to share with the group here, ifyoudon'tmind Keep in mind, just to set the

context, you have sent me some e-mails before we started the program saying, "Am I a little

bit too advanced for this program," etc And I said, "Give it a shot," etc So tell us what your

breakthrough was today

hMM*

Yeah, I don't know that I thought I was too advanced, but I wanted to make sure it was right for

me And these past couple weeks, getting into the product development, I know I'm absolutely

in the right place

So just a quick background I'm a longtime freelance business journalist And randomly, a

couple of years ago, I started a blog without any direction I'm a single mom; I found myself a

single mom I started writing to other professional single moms I didn't feel like there was a

voice out there

And this blog has just kind of taken over my career and my life and I have got over 30,000

uniques I really haven't spent any money marketing it It's just been very organic, tons of

media pickup Now, I have my own AM radio show; it's been really successful But my big joke

is that I have the most successful blog that's making no money, so here I am

Literally, in 24 hours, I went from being completely just overwhelmed, shut down, I was not

going to crack the code and figure out how to make money to coming up with what I think is at

least the beginnings of a really exciting idea But I got so excited about my product that I went

overboard and I called my designer and I got a quote for how much it would design And my

brother has a video production company and he gave me a big quote for doing this big, elaborate

product and I was envisioning this big dream product

And then I started researching sales funnels and the dollar figures got higher and higher and

the time commitment got higher and higher And I became more and more overwhelmed

because I started to realize how little I know

With all of this commitment came more risk, came more fear, and I was at risk of just shutting

myself down again So something snapped in the modules this past week It was just like, "You

know what? Scale it down, start tiny."

And the other thing I mentioned on a Facebook post, I spend on a bunch of time, which I would

recommend, on Udemy, the online course marketplace The most successful ones on there, it

was a rare exception, the quality of the production on these things is not anywhere near what I

was envisioning for myself And they are selling multiple thousands of these products

So I just got a total paradigm shift

Good Very good

hMM'

Set my expectations much lower But actually, much higher

i;Mf.iii

Good insight I want to add a little color on this for everyone First of all, excellent insight,

Emma For everyone listening, I have repeated it literally hundreds of times But that doesn't

mean we get it until we truly internalize it

I've seen people who ask for a refund because they couldn't make $1o,ooo in eight weeks They

are solidifying their propensity for failure because they will never acknowledge that this is a

deep, lifelong process It will take time

And it's so easy to look at my business and say, "Oh, my God Ramit posts a blog post and gets

1,500 comments." And yet, everything I've done has been transparently out there In fact, as I

invite people to go look at my 2004 posts, there are no comments on them

So it's one thing to hear people saying, "Slow down, be deliberate and methodical." But it's a

whole different animal to actually intemalize it and say, "My first product is not going to be a

$2,ooo product My first product is not going to have a $6o,ooo HD camera But guess what?

It's going to be good enough to get results for my first customers And the next time I do it, it's

going to be better and better and better."

So I'm inspired, Emma, that you had the courage to acknowledge that, admit it And thank you

for sharing it with everyone else

So the product that I have in mind, I took your advice I've been communicating with my blog

readers and my Face book followers in a totally different way and getting a deeper insight into

my idea

So here, the working title of my product is "30 Days from Divorce to Dating Again: Work

Through Your Fears, Feel Gorgeous And Enjoy Dating With Confidence." So it would be a video

But the gist of it is I hear from women all the time, they find themselves single moms, how did

data again But they're just like, "I don't even know how to do it I haven't dated for 15 years."

i;hf.!ii

Well, let me fast-forward you to the question What's the question, Emma?

Uf.ibt.i

The question is, when I'm speaking to women about this product when I ask them what they

want, they want a relationship? Now, when I talk to them a little bit .I can't help them find a

relationship But I can help them get to dating, which is the first step in finding that serious,

committed, loving relationship that we all want

So I'm just kind of wondering if this title, the positioning, is going to be effective But as you

talk to these women, "Do you date?" "No." "Why not?" "Well, I don't have time There are no

good guys out there Online dating is a drag I'm so busy with the kids I really want to find a

loving relationship I'm a relationship person; I'm not a dating person."

me to connect with these women and peel away the layers And we start joking about sex and

we start joking about our vibrators And then, they get into it Then they start saying, "Yeah, I

know I want to date, but I'm shy about dating," or, "I feel weird about my body."

getting through that barrier there

i;MMI

Yeah Got it So for everyone listening, I want to read your title again Here it is: "30 Days From

Your Search For Love With Confidence."

So this is what you wrote me Now, I want to offer a little bit of feedback on this First of all, it's

very important to listen to what people are saying, and I mean truly listen

finance, I learned most of this stuff and I got pretty good at it And I would hear my friends

talking about, "Oh, I had an overdraft fee," or, "I don't know where any of my money goes." And

I would get really serious Serious Ramit Sethi

And all of a sudden, I'm like, "You need to do this You really should do that That's BS." And the

reaction I got from them was extremely negative, as you can imagine Their eyes glazed over, it

pretty much shut down Or they would say stuff like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah," and have this vacant,

thousand-yard stare

You can't take what someone says they don't want to do, grab them by the shirt and shake them

into wanting to do it And that's exactly what you're trying to do

l@@t.i

Yeah, I know That's my fear That's my fear

i;hfuiii

Okay, exactly So it's good of you to acknowledge it These women are literally telling you, "I

don't want to date." And you're shoving them up against the wall, grabbing them by the collar

and saying, "You really need to date Trust me, I know what's good for you." How do you think

that's going to be received?

Ufu!M'

Well, yeah I know that I don't want to do that That's my fear I don't want to do that at all It's

such a paper-thin barrier, I feel, to break through And I know I know in these conversations

I have Literally, one second, the woman is shut down And two IM lines later, she's totally

opening up, totally receptive, totally ready to buy the product

So I feel like I'm so close It's just a matter of the title or positioning and I'm just not quite there

yet

i;hfuiii

No, I'm here to tell you no And I consider it one of my ultimate privileges to be able to have

gone through this myself and to prevent you from going through the same thing I did

To you, it seems like paper-thin And that's a beautiful, evocative metaphor It's paper-thin You

just push a teeny little pencil through it and the whole illusion shatters

But it's not paper thin to them To them, it is as thick as a bank vault And so even though you

may be able to connect with some of these women, remember that the only women who are even

getting to talk to you are the ones who are more suggestible and more open to change

The vast majority of women in this situation, they're never going to even end up talking to you

So we want to understand not just the people who are going to buy anyway, but the people who

were most likely to move if we can connect them

It's not paper thin For me, literally, I had people say I can tell you one great example I had a

guy, he had $2 ,ooo in his checking account He hadn't been able to access it for nine months

And I go, "Just call them." Because his password got messed up He couldn't reset it online He

hated talking on the phone

And I'm looking at this guy in disbelief I said, "Are you kidding me? Call them Here, I'll give

you the phone number." I gave him the phone number He still wouldn't call

You would think that it was paper thin, but it wasn't To him, it was a major barrier And so for

these women, all of these intensely psychological issues like their body and, "Will I ever love

again," etc They all are brought to bear on this idea of, "I don't want to date," especially 30 days

after divorce

hMbt.i

I need help with that It's not 30 days after divorce My program is 30 days Their divorce could

have been two years I actually wouldn't suggest they date for at least a year That's just .! need

to work on that

i;hf.iii

Do you see my point about what's paper thin to you is not paper thin to them?

hb'bt.i

Yeah, I know I'll just tell you a conversation I had just yesterday on Facebook I threw a

question out of my Face book page "Do you date? If not, why not?" And she was like, "I don't

have time I get my testosterone fix through my male friends." She's adamant

We IM Two seconds later, she's like, "I would love to date." It came down so quickly She said, "I

do want to date But I don't know how to date because I just sleep with a guy right away," and

she's spilling out her guts I started unfolding my ideas from my product

She was so into it I'm not trying to argue with you I'm just trying to reveal what I'm seeing

and how I'm stuck here

i;h.t,jli

Absolutely What you're seeing is the difference between what people say semi-publicly and

what they feel privately And I guarantee you there are things she still hasn't even told you

h$1$t.l

Oh, sure Sure

So it's important It's important to distinguish among all these things But you have to put a

stake in the ground and say, "This is where I'm going to target." So let's just try to simplify a

few of these things, okay? First of all, would you agree that the general point of your product is

finding love after divorce?

Women dating after divorce for all kinds of reasons

'¥'*"' I don't want all kinds of reasons I want the one reason

Because there is a part of every person, of every woman, that needs romantic attention And it

is really, a very individual thing A lot of the women I know just

-•MM"

Stop You're going into prescription mode This isn't your radio show This is about listening to

them It's not about telling them what they should want It's about meeting them where they

are Let's start again

Would you agree? And feel free to disagree, but we need to clarify your assumptions here

Would you agree that your product is ultimately about helping them find love after divorce?

hMM*

Most will want that

'¥'*"' Okay, great Now, "most" meaning 8o% plus?

Yeah, I think that's probably fair

Perfect So I like to start off with the market that is big So let's go for that market for just a

second We'll put the women who, perhaps, are divorced and they just want to date for fun and

they never want to get married again Let's put them aside for now Maybe we'll come back to

them, but they're not in our assumptions right now

Alright So we're talking to women who were divorced at some point Could be a year ago, three

years ago They want to find love again What does love to mean to them?

•MM"

Perfect I'm with you That's fine for me So we are targeting women who want to find a

committed relationship after divorce Already, we're more specific Let me explain why

We want to focus on the end goal We at least want to know what that looks like And then, we

want to come up with ways they can do it So what happened here is you conflated the process

with the results

So dating is the process And the ultimate result for them is a committed relationship, whether

it's marriage or something else, whatever But I've used this example before, I would never

message, on my dream job page, "Use the briefcase technique on a weekly basis." People are

like, "What the hell? Close this window."

Find a dream job That's the ultimate goal And the techniques and the tactics and the ways you

do it, those are sub-points of the sales page and the messaging Are you with me?

Yep

'MM''

Okay Now, it's interesting, by the way, that you mentioned these really interesting, fascinating

things that these women are saying I listened and I'm writing notes down as we're speaking

You said that when you really break through that barrier, they tell you that they're

uncomfortable with their body or maybe they're not ready; all these things you said You could

theoretically approach this in a million different ways You could theoretically create a fitness

product or how to change your mental attitudes around whatever, love Dating tactics, you

could a million of them Which one do you think you would do?

It's dating But to get to dating, they have to switch up their mental attitudes and shake through

a lot of scripts that they're telling themselves

Okay What else?

hMM'

"I have no idea how to date The world has changed since I've dated I'm clueless to how to even

start." "There are no good men out there Only the losers are left at my age." "I'm gross, I'm fat,

and old and nobody is going to want to sleep with me."

1;1-giii

Okay, got it All of those ring totally true for me, so I hear exactly what you're saying and I think

you understand this market pretty well Now, the question is if we have established that we're

targeting women who want to find a committed relationship after divorce, what do you think

your next step is now? What does the headline read? Let's keep it really simple it doesn't have

What do you mean, "the end goal?"

What is the end goal for them?

The end goal for them is they want a relationship

•MM"

Beautiful, so put that in the headline What is it?

Okay Now, that's a little bombastic for me I think you and I both agree you probably can't

promise those results, but at least we're on the right track, right?

'3M$t.l

Well, I can't help them find a relationship in 30 days, but I can get them on a date On a positive,

healthy, first date in 30 days

Okay, yes This is a breakthrough This is great

Oh, I thought that's what my headline was I knew that

-l@fuill

No, hell no Let me read your headline to you again so you listen to what it says "30 Days From

Divorced " Stop Before I read this, put yourself in the mindset of a woman, the woman from

your Face book page, which triumphantly decreed on a public page, that she doesn't have time

for dating And then, she reads this

"30 Days From Divorced To Dating Again: How To Slash Negative Thoughts About Dating, Feel

Sexy And Start Your Search For Love With Confidence." What is her reaction to this headline?

hMMt.i

Well, that's what I copy and pasted into our IM chat and she was all over it I get it, I totally hear

you The language needs work I'm not married to that language at all

•MM"

First of all, that is surprising I'm not always right But the way I would feel as a woman, when

I'm putting myself in these shoes, if I see this thing, I'm already overwhelmed with all this

other stuff in my life You're telling me I have 30 days to start dating again? Ugh

And all these things start bubbling up to the top "I don't look good," "I don't feel good," "I'm not

supposed to be sexual," all this stuff

So I do love the idea of talking about a committed relationship I also love the gentle idea of,

"You know what? We're not going to do everything all at once today I'm not going to promise

for you to find a relationship in 30 days That's unrealistic But what I can tell you is that we're

going to start unwiring some of this circuitry that's been so deeply burned into your psyche

over the last one year, three years, five years

"I'm going to point out patterns about yourself that even you may not know And together,

we're going to go out We're going to mentally rewire the way we look at the world We're going

to discover that, yes, we are attractive Yes, it's okay to be sexual Yes, there are high-quality

men out there who want to meet us And I can promise you three things

"Number one, I can promise you that you're going to dramatically change the way you look at

yourself and you're going to feel better Number two, I can promise you that something And

number three, I will promise you that by 30 days, you will have had one, just one, positive date

showing you that, yes, love is possible again."

See what I did there? Do you see that the approach that I took was very different than the initial

approach? The reason that I'm spending so much time, Emma, with you, is you and I are very

similar We have this tough love sort of thing going

hMM*

Yes, yes

1;!-@11

And I respect it, because I know the power that it has But I also want to urge you to exercise

power in being gentle You cannot go too hard with people who are in emotional devastation

like this You have to slow down and meet them where they are And you can sit there with a bat

all day long and just slam people in the head with what they should do and what they need to do

And you'll feel good about yourself and you will never connect

But if you slow down, you promise less You say, "We're going to do this together." It changes the

entire dynamic And it really shows your customers, your clients, your students, that you are

there with them along the way Does that make sense?

hf.IM*

Alright, come back next week Keep us updated on the Face book I really am proud of you I

want to see more of this happening, okay?

Thank you

+;t.W"

Alright, you got it Alright, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful A lot of stuff on women's

relationships tonight It's a very evocative area, frankly And a lot of emotions

It's really a great example to look at how you can do true marketing You can't wham, bam,

dazzle people with fancy words That's what so many life coaches try to do You can't out-cloud

them; you use some vague concoction You really have to get to the heart of it

And both of these last two examples have been highly complex Because there are a million

routes you can take But you really have to be authentic and true One simple way is just to say it

out loud

Notice how both of our previous callers when you actually read out loud, you guys, it doesn't

really ring true And once you acknowledge that, then we can dig in and we can find a way to

truly connect with people

So now, we are going to go to a different caller We are going to go to Katie A Katie, are you

Okay, sure How's this?

Much better Even a little bit louder would be good Where are you calling from tonight?

'2-Si!i

From Los Angeles

i@f.iii

Beautiful, alright Katie, tell us what has transpired for you psychologically and emotionally?

What barriers have you noticed as you've gone through the program in the last couple of weeks?

'2-Si!i

Sure Okay So at first, and I mean even before I signed up for the program, it was just fear

of failure to the point where I wouldn't talk about this stuff out loud to anyone Even people

that were really close to me, I just wouldn't talk about because I was just so scared of, "What

if somebody finds out that I'm trying to do this and then I fall on my face and I get a labeled a

loser?"

But once I got over that and just started moving forward, just talking about out loud to others

and then just checking in on me, "How is it going?" "How are you doing?" "What progress have

you made?"

It's gotten a lot easier to get over subsequent barriers So I guess the first barrier was really hard

to get over But then, ever since, it's just kind of easier to get over all the following ones It's just

kind of like, "Well, I've already gone this far Let's keep going."

l@f.iii

Excellent Excellent So how can I help tonight? What's your question?

•th"l

So a little bit of background My business idea is around helping busy parents of college-bound

teens, and to help prepare their teens to make smart, financial decisions before they leave the

nest for college So that's what it is

The problem is I feel like I have two totally different audiences On one side, I have the parents

The other side is the teens Because ultimately, the content, the product is going to be for the

teen They would be the ones watching the videos and doing the work

So two different audiences The question is should I be creating content for teens at this point?

Or just keep it to just the parents? And so far, everything I've written-and I've only written two

articles-has been for parents So the question is, should I also be writing for teens now?

i@f.iii

'2-Si!i

Yeah, exactly That's one of my ideas I have a bunch of other ideas, but I think I would start

with that

i@§iii

Okay So it's not the idea it's like an instructor's manual You give it to the parents and they

teach it to their kids That's not the idea, right?

'2-Si!i

Right Not for the products that I'm going to sell, hopefully But, for example, in my two articles

that I've written so far, the call to action on there is for the parents "So here's one question to

get started on this today with your teen." That is more for the parents

•MM"

Let me ask you a question How did you validate this idea?

'2 · '"'

I spoke to a bunch of parents Just asking them questions Some of them did have college-bound

teens Others had younger kids Others had older kids maybe already in college or graduated

college

•MM"

Had they ever bought something like this before?

•th"l

No The people that I've talked to haven't bought anything like that But they have attended

free seminars on college financial aid planning and stuff like that So I know that they're

interested in the information Also in the validation

l@bli'

Hold on Are you planning to teach financial aid stuff? Or how their teens can get a good credit

card and not overspend in college?

'2-Si!i

You know, that brings up one of my other questions that I had before too I think the burning

pain in this area for parents is the college financial aid stuff

So that is what they want And I'm going to give it to them But then, I also feel like they need

all this other stuff Like how to establish credit and save and spend wisely-type stuff So it's

both, I guess

i;Uf.iii

I've got to ask you a few more questions I'm just really genuinely trying to understand Katie,

are you a parent?

I'll say, there are a ton of financial aid consultants out there They mostly focus around the

college financial aid stuff So they're not teaching all this other personal finance-type stuff So

that's one way I figure I could stand out But, yeah The market is saturated with those financial

aid consultants

i;Mfuili

I know, because I tried to start a business like that I have a history in financial aid because I

got a ton of scholarship money and financial aid money I got so much money, I was getting paid

to go to college

And I understood, thanks to my parents, they taught me all about this financial aid stuff which

is crazy, because they're not even from this country So we learned the ins and outs of financial

aid

Here's one thing, though My parents would have never paid a dime to learn it Ever And later,

I was like, "Oh, my God." Because I ended up helping a lot of friends get scholarships and stuff

like that, people from my community And I tried to start a little business around it, with my

parents actually being the principles And no one ever took us up on it

Now, one thing I learned is you're absolutely right that the market's burning pain is financial

aid But just like Scrooge strategy, which I talk about in module three, "Vault" in the interview

with Jeff, that was a flawed product because who want to save money don't want to pay

So I have to tell you I can answer your questions tonight But I just want to caution you with a

gigantic red flag that you have chosen an extremely challenging area How many parents would

pay to get money material for their kids?

First of all, the larger part of the market, which is financial aid, they don't really want to pay

And then, of that, you're carving out maybe a 1% sliver of people who want to teach their kids

about money Where do they normally go for that? They go buy a Suze Orman book Or they go

to their bank, ironically, and they say, "Give me a brochure on effective credit." And that's that

So what do you think about what I just said? By the way, feel free to disagree

''h"l

Yeah Well, it's definitely something that I struggled with a lot at the beginning One way I was

thinking of standing out because I've seen those free teen money management seminars or

whatever that they hold at banks or whatever

But a lot of that stuff is very nitty-gritty and not even relevant to this generation of teens They

still talk about how to write a check and how to balance a checkbook And teens don't need to

know that I've never had to balance a checkbook

1@@11

Let me ask you a question Why haven't more sophisticated business people come in and

replace that curriculum? Could there be a reason? Because no one will pay Like, I don't go and

speak at high schools when it comes to money

''h"l

Yeah I've heard you say that

i@.t,jli

You have a multidimensional challenge here First of all, anytime you have to sell a product to

parents to buy it for their kids, that's challenging in and of itself because you to have sort of two

markets But now you're talking about money, which almost nobody wants to pay for at all

So you can go down this route But I'm more concerned with your judgment in terms of your

early validation The market has spoken There are not that many people selling these things

and if they are, they're not doing very well Most of those financial aid consultants are probably

realtors on the side, which means they have two jobs they're not making any money from

So it's a not good competitive landscape I would strongly urge you to go back, look at your

market You obviously have some great skills when it comes to personal finance, etc I'm not

saying there's no business around personal finance Personal finance is a multi-billion dollar

industry But you've chosen almost the hardest audience with the hardest topic You're making

it really hard on yourself You know what I mean?

Okay, me neither, so this is going to be very fun Let's say you go to a basketball court I don't

even know what the word is And I say, "Hey, I'll give you $5 if you can make this basket." Okay,

you have two choices Are you going to go right up to the basket and shoot it from there? Or are

you going to go to the half-court line and just lob it in from so feet away? Which one are you