IT training sunday magazine TruePDF 17 march 2019

This week’s must-haves 8 Focus Go glam in snakeskin prints 10 The wild west Get a taste of paradise in Florida’s Panama City Beach Jamie Goode savours sauvignon blancs from the Loire 52

Pure and simple

Win! Win!

Win!

Words of wisdom

Delicious recipes from

Hollywood star Gwyneth Paltrow

£1,000 with our prize crossword

Fern Britton

on her next chapter

4 Get this!

This week’s must-haves

8 Focus

Go glam in snakeskin prints

10 The wild west

Get a taste of paradise in Florida’s

Panama City Beach

Jamie Goode savours sauvignon blancs

from the Loire

52 Gardens

Alan Titchmarsh on how to spot signs of

recovery among winter-damaged plants

People

22 Life as I know it

With journalist and newscaster Jon Snow

24 Fern Britton

The presenter is reinventing herself in

more ways than one

28 Gok Wan

The style guru heads North to say yes to

the dress in a new spin-off

30 A pat on the back

Discover the power of praise

Pit your wits against our prize puzzle

S Magazine is published by Express Newspapers, Second Floor, Northern & Shell

Building, 10 Lower Thames Street, London EC3R 6EN © Express Newspapers 2019

Editor Margaret Hussey Art Director Greg Anderson Supplements Picture Editor Karen Vowles Picture Editor Sarah White

Production Editor Jan Brierley Features Editor Nicole Carmichael Lifestyle Director Victoria Gray Commissioning Editor and

Beauty Editor Laura Mulley Fashion Editor Antonia Kraskowski Deputy Fashion Editor Rivkie Baum Literary Editor Charlotte Heathcote

Feature Writer Kirsten Jones Group Senior Fashion Assistant Abby McHale Group Fashion Assistant Katy Gale

Chief Sub Editor Jennifer Wignall Sub Editors Bridget Rowan, Karen Regn, Junior Picture Researcher Maya Bedford

On the cover: Jacket, £45, Oasis (oasis-stores.com); dress,

£34.90, Uniqlo (020 7290 7701, uniqlo.com); boots, £337, Chie Mihara (chiemihara.com); earrings, £65; bracelets, from £62, both Branch (branchjewellery.co.uk); bag, £25, Dorothy Perkins

(0344 984 0261, dorothyperkins.com)

This page: Jacket, £180, Very (0344 822 2321, very.co.uk); top,

£105; skirt, £224, both Beatrice B (beatriceb.com); boots, £200, Ariat (ariat.com); earrings, £3 for three, Primark (01189 606300)

“If you accept your limitations you go beyond them”

Brendan Behan (1923-1964)

40

10

46

A BREATH OF FRESH AIR

Ultrasonic aroma diffuser,

£17.99 each, Owlchemy (01237

475702, owlchemy.co.uk)

TASTE OF THE ORIENT

Tokyo Stories: A Japanese

Cookbook by Tim Anderson,

£26, Bookshop (see page 77)

HEAVEN SCENT

Est ’88 perfume, £50, Ted

Baker (0808 178 7366,

tedbaker.com)

THE MIDAS TOUCH

Velvotan The Original Tanning Mitt, £2.99 each, Tesco, Asda and Sainsbury’s

GROWING TREND

Enamel hanging planter, £16, Bohemia (0131 555 2485, bohemiadesign.co.uk)

SLICE OF THE ACTION

Bike pizza cutter, £17, Hurn & Hurn (01603 559250, hurnandhurn.com)

LET THEM EAT CAKE

Tefal Cake Factory, £169.99, Amazon (amazon.co.uk)

MESSAGE IN

A BOTTLE

Reusable water bottle, £20, Crew Clothing x Plastic Patrol (0333 121 1993, crewclothing

co.uk)

SWEET CHARITY

Bobbi Brown x Lulu Guinness make-up bag, £35, Bobbi Brown (bobbibrown.co.uk) All proceeds (less VAT) go to Smart Works

A RUM DO

Barbados Gold rum,

£37.95, Neptune Rum (neptunerum

com)

COME RAIN OR SHINE

Showerproof outdoor cushion, £10, John Lewis & Partners (08456

BEST BIB AND TUCKER

Set of two dribble bibs,

£4.50, M&Co (0800 031

7200, mandco.com)

LITTLE GEMS

Earrings, £9.95, Jewellerybox (020 3397 4169, jewellerybox.com)

Priotry boots,

£160, Dune London (0333

240 7306, dunelondon

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TRY

GO TO

MUST HAVE

Little Miss Sunshine makes its debut at London’s Arcola Theatre on Thursday, followed

by a UK tour Based on the movie with Abigail Breslin and Steve Carell, the musical sees

a dysfunctional family pack up their camper van and hit the road to make their daughter Olive’s beauty pageant dreams come true Will the camper van, and the family, survive? The tour begins in Ipswich

on May 20 For tickets and tour information, visit littlemiss sunshinemusical.com

New to Town House at the Kensington, the London Landmarks afternoon tea gives you the chance to eat some of London’s most popular attractions Your delicious journey begins with a choice of rare tea or a glass

of champagne and savouries such as steak and London ale pie The main event includes

a bright-red rhubarb filled telephone box and a Big Ben lemon curd tart, plus sandwiches and scones with clotted cream and jam, on a London Eye cake stand Book from £42 per person at townhousekensington.com

mousse-Pay a visit to Trentham Gardens in Staffordshire to celebrate sunny climes The first-ever Spring Bulb Festival marks 15 years since the award-winning gardens reopened to the public It’s a real treat with almost 50,000 new bulbs planted across the grounds See tulips by the Capability Brown lake, embark on a woodland walk to find drifts

of anemones and bluebells and spot colourful displays in the Italian Gardens, described as “the finest outside Italy” Entry costs £9.45 (adults) and £8.40 (children) until March 31 See trentham.co.uk

Give three cheers to the weekend and raise a glass of unlimited bubbly at

Cafe Rouge To celebrate its 30th birthday the French bistro chain has

rolled out free-flowing fizz every Friday night at nearly all its UK restaurants

Book a table from 5pm to try two courses from the evening set menu for

£29.95 per person and get prosecco, Stella, mocktails or soft drinks on

tap for two hours Find out more at caferouge.com

Make a date with two tales of crime and punishment and a horror movie

Us

Academy Award-winning actress Lupita Nyong’o stars in this nail-biting horror Adelaide takes her family to her hometown for summer, but their happy holiday becomes a nightmare It’s

in cinemas from Friday

Widows

When four thieves are killed, their debts fall on their widows’ shoulders With nothing left to lose, Veronica (Viola Davis) recruits the women to take

on the heist her husband never completed It’s out

on Blu-ray and DVD

The Last Act

Failing Broadway star Tommy Jump turns spy for the FBI Armed with a new identity he’s got six months

in jail to befriend a criminal and steal his secrets The Brad Parks novel is out now for £12.99 – see Bookshop on page 77

DO

iTbmSatr

8 S MAGAZINE ★ 17 MARCH 2019

Compiled by Abby McHale

Jumpsuit, £39, Dorothy Perkins (0344

Trousers, £14, George at Asda (0800 952 0101, george.com)

Shirt, £55, French Connection (0333 400 3285, frenchconnection.com)

Skirt, £49.99, Mango (0800

026 0028, mango.com)

Earrings, £6.99, New Look (0344 499 6690, newlook.com) Chain bag, £49, Star by Julien

MacDonald at Debenhams (0344

561 6161, debenhams.com)

Heels, £45, Wallis (0344

984 0266, wallis.co.uk) Bag, £595, Gedebe Clicky

at Fenwick (as before)

Maxidress, £50, Evans

(evans.co.uk)

Dress, £29, Principles at Debenhams (as before)

Dress, £32; boots, £30, both Dorothy Perkins (as before)

Skirt, £39, Oasis

(oasis-stores.com)

A-line skirt, £285, Reiss (0845 604 7457, reiss.com) Sandals, £74, Office at Littlewoods (littlewoods.com)

denims and fringing

Styling by Rivkie Baum

Photographs by Roberto Aguilar

Fringed jacket, £408; scarf, £157, both Beatrice B (as before); white dress, £249.95, Madeleine (0333

400 0400, madeleine.co.uk); boots, £160, Dune London (020

7258 3605, dunelondon.com);

ring, £69, Branch (branchjewellery.co.uk)

in the hair), £18, Levi’s (levi.

com); shoes, £32, Next (0333

777 8000, next.co.uk); belt,

£60, Replay (replayjeans.com);

earrings, £10, River Island (03445 766 444,

riverisland.com)

FASHION

14

Fringed jacket, £65, Simply Be (0871 231

5000, simplybe.co.uk);

shirt, £59, John Lewis (03456 049049, johnlewis.com); jeans,

£140, Free People (0800

012 1400, freepeople.

com); boots, £160, Dune London (020 7258

3605, dunelondon.com);

earrings, £65; bracelets,

from £62, both Branch (branch jewellery.co.uk)

FASHION

uk); earrings, £3 for

a pack of two, Primark

Hair and make-up:

Jenny Morrell using

PÜR Cosmetics and

Unite Hair

Perhaps it’s the time of

year (the biannual switch

in and out of daylight

saving time always

seems to prompt a flurry

of new night-time lotions and

potions hitting the shelves) or

maybe it’s the current awareness

about all-round wellness, but the

importance of sleep has never

been so widely discussed Here

are some fun facts: Did you know

that those who fall asleep within

an hour appear on average

two-and-a-half years younger than

those who don’t? People who earn

upwards of £65k get the best

sleep (an excellent excuse to ask

for a pay rise, if you ask me)?

And 12 per cent of people dream

entirely in black and white?

As these are the hours

when the skin repairs itself,

uninterrupted by typical daily

activity, it’s the perfect time to give

it a helping hand with hardworking

ingredients and potent formulas

The evening is the best time

to use a liquid exfoliator, as

there’s no worry about increased

sensitivity to UV rays This Works

Evening Detox Spray-On Exfoliant

(£28; thisworks.com) contains a

combination of natural enzymes

and salicylic acid to gently

resurface the skin and help to unblock pores And there are also amino acids, witch hazel and antioxidants in the mix, too

Ideal for city dwellers or those prone to congested skin, a couple

of spritzes (on a cotton pad, to avoid getting it on the eyes) will leave the complexion looking bright and clear

Think of Murad Night Fix Enzyme Treatment (£70; murad.

co.uk from March 28) as one final step to boost your existing skincare routine It works in two ways: through science and through scent Firstly, it contains a peptide and tri-enzyme technology that works with the body’s circadian rhythm to encourage skin repair

Secondly, the cream has a soothing scent but, surprisingly for

a sleep-related product, there isn’t

a whiff of lavender to be found

Instead, it’s a comforting blend

of violet, cedarwood and lemon, which has been proven to enhance the quality of your zzzs Keep

it on your bedside table and apply right before hitting the pillow, spending a moment to breathe

it in on your palms before massaging it over the face

Sarah Chapman Skinesis Overnight Facial Supplement

Repair and restore your skin while

you sleep with nourishing nocturnal

skincare, says our expert

Vinoperfect Dark Spot Correcting Glycolic Night Cream (£34; uk.

caudalie.com) It combines science both old and new: its patented grapevine sap, used by French women for centuries to brighten the complexion, alongside

a gentle resurfacing complex of glycolic acid and papaya enzyme

to leave skin smooth and glowing when you wake up

Combining the instant results

of a mask with the long-term effectiveness of serious, targeted skincare, No7 Laboratories Cica-Rescue Skin Paste (£18;

Boots) is a thick cream made using ingredients that are tricky to pronounce (ophiopogon japonicus, anyone?) but known for their skin-soothing abilities Apply a generous layer before bed – the initial white cast soon disappears – and come morning sensitive skin should feel calmer, with any redness visibly reduced

It’s hard to avoid hearing about the cell-rejuvenating, radiance-revealing, anti-ageing powers of current skincare darling, retinol But

of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that support various skin functions

Dark spots are listed as the third highest beauty concern for European women, and Caudalíe is

tackling this after hours with its latest launch,

wading through the jargon, never-ending new products and personal stories can be a bit of a minefield Something like Origins Plantscription Retinol Night Moisturizer with Alpine Flower (£49; origins.co.uk) might be a good starting point for beginners

It combines science (retinol) with nature (two potent, skin-boosting plant extracts) into

a silky cream Use every other night to start with, buffering with a light, simple moisturiser

if you’re worried about irritation

Another ingredient that has been hitting the skincare headlines are mushrooms Long used in Chinese medicine for their antioxidant and anti-inflammatory benefits, you’ll find mushrooms cropping up in plenty of big beauty brands’ ingredients lists Avon Golden Mushroom Sleep Mask (£6; avon.uk.com) is a rich, velvety cream, containing extracts

of three types, which help the skin fight inflammation and damage

Finally, it isn’t just your skin that can benefit from some nocturnal nourishment Think of Kérastase Nutritive 8 Hour Magic Night Serum (£36; kerastase.co.uk)

as the hair equivalent of a night cream, penetrating deep into your hair strands but leaving no tangible product come morning ●S

CounterEdited by Laura MulleyBeauty

You may be getting

your five-a-day on the

inside, but you can

also give your skin a

health boost from the

outside with these

four new additions to

Elemis’s Superfood

Skincare Range (from

£26; elemis.com)

There are two masks,

a refreshing mist and

a jelly exfoliator, all

containing extracts of

nutrient-rich greens,

grains and fruit, plus

prebiotics which help

to maintain the skin’s

natural microbiome

At a time when trends in skincare ingredients come and

go quicker than you can say “hyaluronic acid”, Nivea has

been quietly celebrating the benefits of coenzyme Q10 for 20 years It has recently revamped its famous Q10 range to include 10 times more collagen-boosting goodies, creating Nivea’s most powerful anti-ageing

skincare yet The Q10 Power Anti-Wrinkle + Firming

Day Cream (£10.99; nationwide) is its hero product, but

look out for other new launches, including an overnight mask, a 10-day treatment and a BB-cream cushion

Pretty, peppy and flattering on a wide

range of skin tones, the new Benefit

Cheekleaders Pink Squad Blush,

Bronze & Highlight Palette (£52;

benefitcosmetics.com) gives a youthful,

sporty glow to cheeks The five powders

consist of some of Benefit’s classics

(Hoola bronzer, GALifornia blusher), plus

a new golden-pink highlighter shade,

Tickle, all of which would cost £130 if

bought individually – now that’s

something to cheer about

This season, the NARS Spring Colour

Collection (from £17; narscosmetics.co.uk)

encourages you to try pairing your normal shimmery neutrals with bold pops of colour,

like the lime-green eyeshadow shade Matcha,

or the stripe of bright coral in this Mosaic

Glow Blush Keep the rest of your make-up

simple with a coat of the Climax Mascara and a swipe of Afterglow Lip Balm.

22 S MAGAZINE ★ 17 MARCH 2019

Life as I know it

Precious Lunga, an economist He has two

daughters, Leila and Freya Words by Pauline McLeod

Not a lot of people know this but

watercolours It’s very therapeutic

and relaxing We have a little

place up in the hills near

Hungerford and I’ve probably

painted the same scene 100

times But then, no two paintings

are ever the same

Nick Browne, a judge, since I was

18 We both studied law at

Liverpool University, used to live

round the corner from each other

and have a great history together

Peter Mischcon, who’s an

architect, is a close friend, too

used to call me Jobby instead of

Jonathan I didn’t like it but they

did and sometimes still use it

The bravest thing I’ve ever done

is… swim half a mile in a wet

suit and flippers in the Shatt

al-Arab river near Basra during

the Iraq/Iran War and climb up

the side of a 40,000-ton oil

carrier on a rope ladder to help

rescue the crew, plus two wives,

stranded on it for six weeks

Crown I didn’t want to love it

but I did I’m not particularly

interested in the goings-on of the

Royal Family but this was utterly

intriguing and brilliantly done

the news, cycling home and going

to the local Japanese

I would like to say sorry to…

my kids for the fact that my partnership with their mother didn’t work out

called Kate We met at a party

in North Yorkshire where I lived

I went to an all-boys’ school and met girls late in life –

I was probably 16 Inevitably

it was memorable The first kiss always is

really have any regrets

The one thing I’d change about

to knock a few years off it to push it back to the age I feel, which is about 55

The best thing my parents

countryside, familial security, music My mother was a music scholar and spotted that at the age of six I could sing and would pick out harmonies I was a really good chorister and was in the Winchester Cathedral choir

of the stories I report make me cry But the best thing is not to

be caught [on air] One shouldn’t flaunt one’s tears

The first record I ever bought

but it was by Russ Conway on his honky tonk piano on Uncle Mac’s radio programme in the 50s We didn’t have a TV and only got one

when my father became

a bishop, started doing the epilogue on Tyne Tees and wanted to get a television

to watch himself

It’s not good for my image but

my image to be honest I’m just a hack

My greatest weakness is….

pudding As a child it was rice pudding with a really good brown top to it Now it’s crème brûlée

If I could pass any law I would…

ensure that people who went

to prison were educated, were nourished and were taught to live better lives rather than left to languish in a cell 23 hours a day

The shop I can’t walk past is…

Condor, a bike shop across the road from the studios in Grays Inn Road They made

my road bike I cycle to work every day and if I have to go to Westminster, I go by bike London

is impossible now The only way

to get around it is on a bicycle

The most expensive thing I’ve

house We’re lucky enough to have a small one in London and a small one in Hungerford

My perfect Sunday is…

Occasionally I’ll go to church

I enjoy singing because it takes

me back, but I’m not very religious A nice family meal,

small harbour town of Wellfleet

on Cape Cod It has an amazing light for painting, freshwater ponds as well as ocean rollers and lovely calm sea water I love seafood and it’s the capital of oysters in America

Obama’s memoir, Becoming

It’s fabulous – beautifully written, beautifully observed and you just sense she was a very, very special element of Mr Obama’s presidency

The actor I’d like to play me in

into satire before anyone else got to it Absolutely terrific

And if I couldn’t have him, I would have Rory Bremner He’s fantastic, very clever and very, very sharp

If I had half an hour left on

Cod with my wife Precious, where we rent the same house every year and have my closest friends and family with me

Jon Snow is a presenter on Channel 4 News.

“A lot of the stories make me cry But best not

to be caught

on air”

●S

24

Fern, 61, is a woman of many talents Next year, she will celebrate 40 years of working in television but these days she spends much more time with a pen in hand telling tales of regular folk in the Cornish countryside

Novel number eight, entitled The Newcomer,

meets Angela Whitehorn, a newly ordained reverend who lands a job in the quiet village

of Pedruggan After a shaky greeting from the locals, she soon gets into her stride, but a series of poison pen letters makes her feel very unwelcome indeed

“I think everyone likes having a nosey into people’s lives and finding out that, oh yes, none of us are that clever and all of

us are a bit stupid and, sometimes, we have some good luck,” says Fern “My books are about people pottering Nothing huge happens, but it’s fun I’m that kind of writer, I potter.”Angela is one of us, she tells

me, a normal woman trying to keep it all together She follows her calling and heads

to the coast with her daughter and her super-handsome husband in tow Robert is a successful man who gives up his hot job with TREV

Britton’s got

A fixture on television for almost 40 years,

Fern Britton is penning a new chapter

Words by Kirsten Jones

Fern Britton is in Norwich on the first

leg of the Calendar Girls musical tour

of the UK She’s sitting in her hotel

room watching the world go by, bacon

sandwich in one hand and telephone

in the other, chatting to me “Oh! I’ve just

seen a bus go by with my face on it,” she

shouts “It’s promoting Calendar Girls

That’s nice, isn’t it?”

It’s the first time Fern’s set foot

onstage for 30 years, and that

was panto “I’m in a musical,

my God, not that I have to

sing, or take my clothes

off,” she giggles “It’s

deal about myself,

and about resilience

One foot after

the other, that’s

my motto.”

Today she’s got two

shows to perform with her

fellow cast mates Denise

Welch and Ruth Madoc She’s

having fun, but it’s jolly hard work

“Normally people do eight shows in six

days That’s how theatre works We do eight

shows in five days All of us are tired.”

“It’s a different discipline – I’m definitely out of

my comfort zone”

talent

A star of stage and television, Fern has released her eighth novel

26 S MAGAZINE ★ 17 MARCH 2019

suspenders, smoked and drank gin Mamie is

a conglomerate of all that.”

If you hadn’t noticed, Fern has a bit of a thing for Cornwall Nearly all of her books are set on the sunny coast, and she tells me why

“Cornwall has called me all my life From my first family holiday to my first job in television

Well, that was Plymouth but I chose to live in Cornwall Phil [Vickery, her husband] and I own a second home there now.”

It even extends to her bookshelves, with well-thumbed novels

by Rosamunde Pilcher and her favourite,

Frenchman’s Creek

by Daphne du Maurier They’re set in Cornwall, obviously

Fern’s first foray into writing came when she

retired from This Morning

in 2009 She’d copresented the show for 10 years, first

with John Leslie and later Phillip Schofield, not

to mention the other two decades presenting the news, current affairs and entertainment

shows like Ready Steady Cook Her autobiography Fern: My Story made her a best-selling author

overnight Two years later, she released her

first novel, New Beginnings, and her books have

flown off the shelves ever since, selling more than one million copies

“I could write a five-minute script for television, but it’s different to sit down and write thousands of words,” she explains

“I saw it as a challenge If you’re offered something, you should take it

My mother used

to say that you’d only be doing the ironing otherwise.”

Fern jumped into writing with both feet and after overcoming her fear she really got into her stride

the BBC so that his wife can follow her dream,

but family life may not be as cosy as it seems

“He loves her so much that he gives it all up

for a year or does he?” she asks “Angela

handles a difficult daughter and strange people

who are very entrenched in their lives Thank

God she’s got Aunt Mamie She’s been an

absolute brick to her since her mother died.”

Nearly every character in Fern’s novels is

a little nod to someone she’s known or loved

in her life Angela’s dear Aunt Mamie is no

exception She’s got a good heart and a lust

for life that can get her into trouble She loves

a tipple, drives a Jensen Interceptor, oh, and

she’s got Elizabeth Taylor’s fur coat

Mamie was inspired by Sylvia Anderson, the

glamorous Thunderbirds producer who created

Lady Penelope, and her name was plucked

straight from Fern’s school days

“When I was little I went to a posh school

because my father was earning money in

films,” she recalls “We called the teachers

nicknames like Birdie and Mrs PT, and

there was a helper called Mamie She was

very glamorous, like most women in the

60s They wore high heels, stockings and

“Live television is

in my blood

I don’t regret it”

Fern (second from left) with the cast of Calendar

Girls, and creators Gary Barlow and Tim Firth

She is a born storyteller, after all

“We’re good at spinning yarns in

my family I made up a character called

Cowboy Grace when my daughter was little

I’d make up stories all the time Writing

books has oiled up a bit of my brain that

I didn’t think I’d be using.”

There is a great deal of gearing up to be

done before Fern sits down to write a chapter

or two To get into the zone, she needs a

silent house with no phone, no music and

certainly no distractions That, as it happens,

includes any sort of chore imaginable

“I do everything other than write for a couple

of hours,” she reveals “I clean the kitchen and

clear up the cat bowls, I make the bed and

tweak a cushion and feed the birds It’s a

process It clears my mind of all the niggling

worries, like, ‘I should hoover the lounge.’”

The routine clearly works a treat She even

found time to release her second novel, Hidden

Treasures, while competing under the glitter

ball in 2012’s Strictly Come Dancing She

danced her socks off, staying the distance

against presenter Johnny Ball, model Jerry Hall

and EastEnders star Sid Owen.

Fern keeps her toe in the telly water, though,

and has recently hosted BBC shows The Big Allotment Challenge, For What It’s Worth and her Sunday morning show Fern Britton Meets…,

for which she interviewed high-profile guests like Tony Blair, Desmond Tutu and Dolly Parton

She also presented the ITV panel show

A Right Royal Quiz, pitting celebrity teams

against each other to answer questions about the Royals and win the grand prize, the Crown

of Right Royalness

“Sometimes the old brain isn’t as intelligent

as it was yesterday, but I do love reading about the Royal family,” she says “I’m just about to read a new book about Queen Mary

She had a very interesting life.”

And we can’t forget Fern’s charity work

She’s cycled thousands of miles to raise money in support of the miscarriage charity Genesis Research Trust, but she’s ready

to park her bike for a bit

“I was their patron for a long time, but I want a bit of me-time now I do hope to cycle from Land’s End to John O’Groats next year

We did the opposite route in 2015

“I’ve got book number nine to write, but I’m

hoping to have a couple of months at least just lying in Cornwall and staring at the sky.”

Fern has eight novels and an autobiography under her belt, but television will always have

a big place in her heart

“Live television is in my blood That’s all I’ve ever done and I don’t regret it,” she says

“I’m not doing it every day In fact, I’m doing

it rather patchily at the moment Writing is still not quite a comfortable fit, the way television is, and yet I’m beginning to like

it more and more.”

Fern is starting to have more confidence,

“rightly or wrongly”, she reminds me, but

a recent trip to America gave her a little nudge in the right direction

“I remember having my passport checked

in America a couple of years ago The man asked my occupation I paused for a moment, took a deep breath and said in a little voice,

‘author,’” she laughs “I thought he’d arrest

me for lying but he didn’t Maybe I can say I’m a writer after all.”

The Newcomer (HarperCollins, £12.99) is out now See Express Bookshop on page 77.

Morning to work beside

of Great Britain for charity in 2015

28 S MAGAZINE ★ 17 MARCH 2019

Bride & joy Style guru Gok Wan gets all romantic

for his new wedding TV series

Words by Rianne Ison

In the often fickle world of

celebrity, people tend to be

slightly guarded – but not Gok

Wan Bucking the trend, Gok, 44,

has invited us into his beautiful

London townhouse home He

opens the door with a huge grin –

sandwich in one hand and his cute

dog Dolly running around his feet

– before welcoming us in and

offering a cup of tea

From his first introduction it’s

clear that what you see on screen

is exactly what you get off screen,

and as we settle into his Art

Deco-inspired living space, he’s

charming, warm and friendly – but

also fiercely funny and honest

We’re here today to chat about his new venture – fronting the

Lancashire spin-off of Say Yes To The Dress, the show made famous

in the UK by Brit designer David Emmanuel where brides-to-be are

in search of their perfect dress

It was a project that Gok was excited and nervous about in equal measure

He says, “Say Yes To The Dress

is such an absolutely enormous brand, so when I was asked

to do the spin-off show, I was really nervous because not only

do you need to make it different,

but you need to respect the original format

“I was thinking, ‘Am I going

to be able to put my own stamp

on it? Are they going to go with it? Or are the viewers going to wish the whole time that David was on it?’ But when we got into the production, I just fell in love with it from the first day.”

And he needn’t have worried

From the very first episode, his natural warmth radiates through the screen, as he not only helps the brides secure their perfect dress, but also tackles their body and confidence issues, as he did

in his breakthrough TV show, How

To Look Good Naked, which ran

a second that any one of these brides would have watched what

I had done before

“But they came wanting to get

the How To Look Good Naked experience, as well as the Say Yes

To The Dress experience, which is

“I think probably for

my 50th I may

do a fake wedding”

Gok Wan helps brides-to-be secure their perfect dress in his new TV show

probably why the show feels such

a hybrid

“It wasn’t as easy as just finding

a dress that they like, there are

so many more layers to this

series You’re not just looking for

the comedy quips in this show,

you’re looking for the tears too.”

Of course, this is part of Gok’s

charm, brand and the reason the

star – who still thinks of himself

as a stylist as opposed to a TV

presenter – has become such a

staple on our screens

But Gok didn’t initially plan

to be on TV at all In fact, before

becoming a stylist he trained at

London’s Royal Central School

of Speech and Drama And he confessed that until recently it was

a dream he secretly held on to

“I auditioned a few years ago for a massive part in the West End and they said, ‘It could happen if you want it to,’ and

I decided I wouldn’t I think I had

to do that audition and stand and sing terribly in front of the piano

to get it out of my system There was probably a shadow, a tiny glimmer in my make-up that was thinking, ‘What if?’ and now I’ve done that, it’s gone Completely gone,” Gok explains

And although we won’t be seeing him on stage any time soon, Gok muses that it’s not the end of his career evolution Far from it, in fact

“I really want to do law It’s

a bit of an odd one because

my sister’s a lawyer – a really successful lawyer – and I’ve always been interested in it

and trying to make a difference

“When I was growing up I left school really young as I was a terrible, tearaway kid and I thought for a long time that I was really stupid and inarticulate, but I’ve found that confidence as I’ve got older and thought, ‘I’m not as stupid as I thought I was.’

“That’s only in the last five or six years – a middle-aged epiphany – and now part of me wants to test whether I can apply the part of my brain that I’ve never really used into something as academic as law It might just be for me, or it might be a career change That’s

at the top of my bucket list and I’ve got a million other things.”

The star adds, “I’d love to own a restaurant, do an accountancy degree I’m interested in politics and don’t know where that might take me

“I’d like to do some more in interior design, at least one close-

up magic show I’m interested in a million things and, as you can see from how I talk, my mind’s always going at a million miles an hour.”

Gok says there’s also a huge personal milestone he’d like to cross off – and it’s rather apt given what we’re here to discuss

“I still desperately want to get married,” he laughs “It’s going to

be a massive, massive rave in a

castle somewhere It’s not going

to be a traditional wedding in the slightest I actually have an

‘almost’ wedding every year

of my life for my birthday as I have

a massive party I start planning

in February for September

“So I think probably for my 50th

I might do a fake wedding, but full-on like when Stanford gets

married in Sex And The City the

film And I’d get everyone to come dressed as a groom or a bride, so you’ve got 300 brides and grooms all together.”

And while many start to panic on the countdown to

a big birthday, Gok can’t wait

to welcome in his next decade, recalling how his mindset changed following an “ageing breakdown” when he turned 40

Gok says, “I was thinking, ‘What

is my life? What have I achieved? Where am I going to go? Who am I? Will I ever love again?’ That was the only bad part of growing old that I can remember Ever since then I’ve absolutely loved it, to the point where I tell people I’m a year older because I can’t wait So I am contently, arrogantly smug about becoming 50 I’ll be thinking,

‘Thank God I got here.’”

Say Yes to the Dress Lancashire, starts on Friday at 9pm on TLC

●S

30 S MAGAZINE ★ 17 MARCH 2019

Make someone’s day and give

them a pat on the back – it’ll

boost their self-esteem

It might simply be a few well-chosen words,

a round of applause, a congratulatory email

or a thank-you note But there’s no doubt

about it, when we’re on the receiving end

of praise we get a wonderful feeling and

believe we can achieve just about anything

we set our minds to

But the power of praise isn’t only about

bolstering our self-esteem and making us feel

good about ourselves and our lives It also has

an impact on our biochemistry A few words of

praise can boost powerful hormones, which in

turn can alter our brain chemistry

Hypnotherapist and wellbeing coach

Tricia Woolfrey, author of An Inside Job and 21

Ways & 21 Days To The Life You Want (Verity

Publishing), says praise can increase oxytocin,

the powerful hormone produced when we have

a deep sense of connection It’s the hormone

new mums produce when they breast-feed

their babies and the one we all get a surge

of when we bond with someone or give or

receive a hug

“Praise also increases dopamine, a

neurotransmitter which helps control the

reward and pleasure centres of our brain,”

adds Tricia “Together, oxytocin and dopamine

will give us a real glow and we will feel so good

about ourselves.”

Motivational speaker, author and coach

Rachael Alexander (rachael-alexander.com),

who is international director of training for Feel

the Fear and Do it Anyway courses, agrees that

praise makes people feel appreciated, valued

and recognised

“All emotions are either love or fear,”

says the qualified counselling psychologist

Singing

the praises

to, appreciated and validated When a teacher says to a child, ‘That’s a great piece of work,’

it’s validation that the child is good enough and they start to believe it

“When you’re brought up with praise you feel valued and you push yourself out of your comfort zone When your boss compliments you it creates a sense of loyalty and respect and you volunteer to do extra jobs or do some extra hours You’re happy to oblige because they have made you feel good about yourself.”

In 2004 and in one of the largest surveys of its kind, the late American

psychologist and author Donald

O Clifton and colleagues at research company Gallup asked four million people around the world their opinions of praise and recognition at work

They found employees who received regular recognition and praise increased their individual productivity, engaged more with colleagues and were more likely to stay with their organisation And researchers at Japan’s National Institute for Physiological Sciences have discovered that the same area of the brain is activated whether a person is given

a compliment or receives some money

If we are not given praise we miss out on such benefits – but do we still crave and court praise or do we slink off with our heads down?

“You doubt yourself and your confidence gets shattered,” says Rachael “When you’re faced with situations where you might fail you hold yourself back and ask, ‘What’s the point?’

“When you don’t get any praise, resentment starts to build up In relationship counselling this is called the pinch-crunch model All the little things you do, like washing the pots at home or making a morning cup of tea for your colleagues or answering the phones at work, that go unacknowledged, start to build up resentment until it reaches the crunch, which

is crisis point.”

But some of us need more praise than others According to Tricia, people who trust their own judgment tend to be confident enough to know when they have done something well, while others need feedback

They’re the ones who need their colleagues to say they were brilliant to clinch a sale, their

partner to tell them they look good in a new dress or clients to agree their restaurant is the best in town

But if praise is so beneficial, should we go around high-fiving baristas who get our coffee,

HR for sorting out our salary, our children for making their beds and our partners for putting their cups in the dishwasher?

Experts say there are important rules to follow when it comes to giving praise

“Firstly, it must be genuine,” stresses Rachael “Otherwise, it can sound a bit patronising If you say the same thing to

everyone, you devalue praise

You might as well not say anything at all

“Secondly, it must be timely If you meet your friend and you think she’s wearing a really nice top, say so immediately If you don’t, and later she asks if you like her top, you will sound insincere A time lapse will devalue your praise.”

Thirdly, she adds, praise what’s on the inside

or the qualities shown, rather than the end result, especially where children are involved

“For example, when your child gets a good grade in their French test at school, praise the effort they put into learning their vocabulary,” says Rachael “If your friend gives you a beautiful gift for your birthday, thank her, of course, but also praise the qualities she has shown, like her generosity and kindness

“When someone gives a presentation, praise the fact they worked hard and tried their best

If they worked for hours to nail a deal, praise their tenacity, whether they were successful or not Whenever they do something adventurous, praise their courage for taking a risk

“By giving praise, you’re helping to build

a person’s data system, so next time they’re told they’re hard-working, courageous or generous, their brain will recall other occasions when they’ve been praised for the same thing and the message will be reinforced.”

And if we’re on the receiving end of praise,

we should accept it

“How many people get a compliment and ignore it or say, ‘Oh, this old dress? I’ve had

it years,’ asks Rachael “It makes the person giving the compliment feel stupid They tried

to give you a gift and you rejected it So smile and say thank you You’ll feel amazing and you’ll also get those feel-good hormones flowing for everyone concerned.”

“It’s a fundamental need to feel listened to and appreciated”

●S

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The hour-long journey through the pristine nature reserves took me to the undeveloped 700-acre island After trekking along a maze of decking across empty sand dunes and marram grass, home to protected wildlife, I was soon able to sink my feet into the foam-like sand, spotting the odd dolphin diving in the green waters of the Gulf of Mexico in the distance

As I sat on the sand, I suddenly felt a little like

Tom Hanks in Cast Away And not just because

of my paradise surroundings – there wasn’t a soul in sight Bliss

Not far from Shell Island is St Andrews State Park, home to Gator Lake plus miles of open beaches unspoilt by buildings or litter

At the edge of the lagoon sits a must-visit restaurant – The Grand Marlin Its signature dish is locally caught grouper with a Parmesan crust, but I also loved the starter of crispy lobster fingers with vanilla bean honey mustard sauce – my favourite dish of the whole trip But everything on the menu is chosen to perfection – for example, the longfin Boston squid has been selected by their chefs over

450 other calamari species

Panama City Beach stretches for 27 miles with wide beaches kept in clean condition and there’s shopping, bars, restaurants and activities for all ages

I recommend a car and plenty of space around the waistline to visit some of the many diners Holidaymakers visit from all over the

US for the sandwiches at Andy’s Flour Power Café & Bakery, breakfast at Liza’s Kitchen and lunch at Hook’d Pier Bar & Grill, all reasonably priced and delicious

The best place to view all the beach activity

is the vibrant Schooners beach club, which has fantastic views of the sunset too Each day a countdown bellows from the bar then fireworks pop until the sun disappears from the horizon I sat back watching the

entertainment while enjoying a spicy grilled tuna steak big enough for four

I also sampled the award-winning selection

of seafood, steaks and sushi at Firefly restaurant The Obama family has eaten here, and Firefly’s signature grouper dish was served

to the US Olympians at the London Games

I certainly felt like a man of importance as

I entered its grand reception area, and the food was outstanding

It was a great way to end my journey, but I’d like to return at least once more before ticking Florida off my bucket list I’ll just need to build

up an appetite again first…

Greg Anderson

Drop in to Schooners (left) or the award- winning Firefly restaurant (above)

Sunshine state

I’d always wanted to visit Florida, keen to top

up my tan while getting some much-needed

R&R And so instead of hitting the typical

adrenaline-filled Florida attractions, I headed

to lesser-known Panama City Beach on the

state’s northwest coast where, surprisingly,

I didn’t bump into any other European

tourists throughout my entire stay

I visited in October, catching the last of the

summer sun and with ocean temperatures like

a warm bath Within a few minutes of landing,

I had picked up my hire vehicle and was driving

off into the sunset along wide, traffic-free

roads, country music blaring from the radio

My home for the week, the Sheraton Bay

Point Resort, is located within a spectacular

1,100-acre wildlife reserve on St Andrews

Bay, which after the hotel’s recent $30 million

renovation now boasts three outdoor pools,

an award-winning spa and a golf course that

has hosted US Open qualifiers

It was my first trip across the pond, so

I was yet to experience the famously large food

portions, and lunch at the hotel’s Flip Flops

pool bar didn’t disappoint I was in no rush to

hurry my burger and chilled beer as I gazed

out at the beautiful reflections on the lagoon

Eventually it was time to grab my own

flip-flops to stroll along the private boardwalk,

watching fish jump around me from the

still waters as I headed to catch the boat to

Shell Island

America As You Like It is offering a seven-night package to Panama City Beach from £1,245 per person The price includes return international flights

on Delta (via Atlanta), seven nights at Sheraton Bay Point Resort and seven days’ car hire, based on two adults sharing a double room To book,

call 020 8742 8299 or visit americaasyoulikeit.com For more information on the destination, visit visitpanamacitybeach.com.

Escape the crowds and see a different side to

Florida by heading to Panama City Beach

Dazzling Sheraton Bay

Point Resort

●S

34

In the closet with

Vicki

Michelle The ’Allo ’Allo! actress oozes

glamour in gorgeous gowns and

boutique bargains

Words and styling by Laura Mulley

Vicki is best known for playing

Yvette Carte-Blanche in the

long-running TV comedy series

’Allo ’Allo! but has also appeared

in shows like Emmerdale and

Doctors In 2014 she took part

in I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of

Here! and is a regular in panto

Now 68, Vicki, who is about to go

on tour with stage show Hormonal

Housewives, was awarded an MBE

for her charity work in 2010 She

and husband Graham live in Essex

They have a daughter, Louise

How would you describe your

style? Classic and simple I’m

not really into glitter, apart from

onstage You learn to love it when

you do panto I don’t wear much

jewellery I like wearing jeans and

tops then mixing up jackets

What colours and shapes suit

you best? I like black, red, blue

and khaki I’m not big on pink

as it’s too pretty I prefer strong,

tailored looks I like wearing

dresses I’ve quite a small waist

so I like fits that emphasise that

Which is your favourite fashion

era? I quite liked the Dynasty

power shoulders of the 80s but

I wasn’t a fan of the smock styles

of the 70s Fashion now is great,

though, because anything goes

Who is your style icon?

Greta Garbo was very stylised

and Sophia Loren always

looked gorgeous

What can people expect from your new show? It’s all about the things that affect women and what they talk about We want the audience

to relate to one of us and we try

to include the husbands, too, although we do probably set them

up a little bit There’s so much in the script that people can relate

to – and it’s a very funny script It should be a great night out for the audience You’ll come out feeling

as if you’ve been to a party

What will you be wearing on stage? A lot of pink It’s not really

my colour but I think it’ll look great and it suits the show

What is the best costume you’ve ever worn for a role? Obviously, Yvette’s is very iconic, but I’ve had some fantastic panto costumes You never normally get

to keep them but I was allowed to buy my costume from the panto

I did last Christmas

And the worst? I’ve been given some horrors in the past but I’m really good at making something out of nothing, although I once did

a photo shoot and was made to wear an octopus outfit I had to walk through Covent Garden wearing it and these schoolkids came up and started hitting it

What did you think of your I’m

A Celebrity… outfits? I wore the

hat more when my roots started showing When I was asked what

Right: The actress picked

up this blue Diva Catwalk dress from a shop run by her friend Debra in Chigwell, Essex

Left: Vicki wore this striking Nicole Bakti gown to a red-carpet event

Right: The trademark waitress outfit she wore as Yvette in BBC comedy

’Allo ’Allo!

the first thing I wanted to do when I came out was go to the hairdresser I loved the whole experience and was in with some really great people The things I was most scared of before going in were firstly, not wearing make-up, and secondly, using the dunny

Do you own more high street

or high end? I buy most of my clothes from my friend Debra’s shop in Chigwell I’ve been going there for 30 years We have the same tastes and she’ll often recommend things for me Other than that, it’s mostly high street

If I buy a designer item it’s usually

in the sale The secret is mixing high street with classic pieces

After all, who’s going to know you’re wearing Primark jeans?

Which are your favourite street stores? I like Zara and River Island and sometimes New Look I shop from a couple of other stores local to me, too

high-Do you have any favourite designers? I’ve got a few things from Ralph Lauren but I’ve bought them from outlet stores when I’ve

been on tour I stick to classic items, though Chanel handbags look lovely but would I spend that money on one? No I’d be too worried to ever take it out

Do you own anything vintage?

I’ve got loads of vintage It’s things I’ve just held on to for years, like a quite expensive Jean Paul Gaultier tux jacket, and I’m sure I’ve got an original Biba item

Are you a hoarder or do you clear out your wardrobe regularly? I’m

a hoarder My excuse is that whatever role I’m given I have something suitable for it

What is the most expensive item

in your wardrobe? A blue evening dress Debra got me from America

I wore it to the Cannes Film Festival and as I came down the hotel stairs I got a round of applause – that’s how good the dress was I met Harrison Ford later that night, too

How much do you spend on clothes a month? It varies from nothing a month to £1,000 or anything in between It depends

if I’ve got an evening do to go to

I’d go up to £400 or £500 for an evening dress, never any more

How many shoes and handbags

do you own? Loads of shoes I’m not really a shoes person but I’ve kept them for years I wear a lot of boots and I usually wear a heel but they have to be comfy I don’t have many handbags, I just can’t

be bothered taking things out of one and putting them in another

What are your best beauty secrets? My mum used to apply

a lighter pink lipstick to the bottom lip to make them look poutier

I love my lipliner and I extend

my eyeliner out to make my eyes look bigger In the jungle my luxury item was a brown pencil, which

I could use on my eyes and lips, but when I didn’t have that I used charcoal from the lamps as an eyeliner, applied with a fern leaf

What is your best piece of fashion advice? Keep it simple and dress

to flatter your shape

Hormonal Housewives tours the

UK from March 29 to June 29

See hormonalhousewives.com.

The actress teams

a Next jacket with Topshop trousers and New Look court shoes

Above: Vicki loves jackets like this red Zara number, her Polo Ralph Lauren blazer and

a beige coat she picked

up at River Island

Above: She snapped up her brown

Ralph Lauren bag and boots at an

outlet store Her medium black

bag is by Biba and the small

square one is an old favourite

Below: Vicki’s photo of her late mother with a turquoise necklace that belonged to her The other necklaces were gifts

Below: Vicki’s MBE and the hat she wore

to receive it

Above: Vicki’s hat from her stint

on I’m A Celebrity with toiletries

from the Palazzo Versace Hotel on

Australia’s Gold Coast where she

stayed after leaving the jungle

●S

36 S MAGAZINE ★ 17 MARCH 2019

A tinnitus diagnosis led

creative director Niamh

McMahon to practise

mindfulness – and gain

a new outlook on life

Sound advice

September 2015, my life changed when I woke up with a loud ringing sound in

my ear I was soon told by

my doctor that I had tinnitus, which should

go after a few weeks once I took the

medication the doctor prescribed

As the weeks went by, along with the

tinnitus I also discovered that I was deaf

in the same ear I visited consultants, had

hearing tests and MRI scans but received no

answers While ultimately it was a relief that

this wasn’t something serious, I still felt

slightly frustrated being told that both the loss

of hearing and 24/7 rising sound were most

likely permanent It was difficult to process

For the first time in my life I struggled

mentally I think it was because I had always

dealt with problems by finding a solution and

seeing light at the end of the tunnel – but this

made me feel like I was looking into a long

tunnel and I honestly couldn’t see the light

After one of my meetings with the charity

DeafHear in Limerick, where I live in Ireland,

it was suggested that I explore mindfulness

to see if it would help me manage both the

tinnitus and deafness better I had only heard

about ‘being mindful’ but I had never tried it

I was normally too busy running here and

there juggling the variety of roles between

work, the kids, my Pilates, physio, the

house and everything that life throws at you

I really hadn’t the time to think about adding

something else to my busy schedule, but

between the encouragement and support from

DeafHear and knowing that there was no other

alternative for me, I decided to explore it further

I enrolled on an eight-week course,

a mindfulness-based stress-reduction

programme (MBSR) It was founded

40 years ago by Professor Jon Kabat-Zinn

at the Centre for Mindfulness in Medicine,

“My teacher asking me to accept the tinnitus was a turning point”

●S

University of Massachusetts Medical School, and focuses

on applying mindfulness to the whole range of challenges that can arise from life’s stresses and physical and psychological conditions

The impact of MBSR on me has been life-changing and has helped immensely with my hearing,

as just one of the many things that

I learned was how to embrace my tinnitus and my deafness moment by moment

When I started the course and we were introduced to meditation, I initially struggled

I blamed the tinnitus at first but then realised that I didn’t like sitting doing nothing – my mind was too busy to just sit there But all minds wander – that’s just what they do

So my teacher asked me to welcome my tinnitus and accept that it was there

That was the turning point As soon as I started to do that a shift happened It took practice but I got there I practised meditation and that’s when it began to feel a little quieter

The funny thing is that almost four years on while it has never once stopped it has become part of my everyday life – living with the tinnitus has become part of me and part of who I am

As my mind became clearer, I became more productive I wanted to share some of the things I had learned with my family and friends and thinking of how we use flashcards for children to learn, I created straightforward messages that you could place anywhere

This was the start of MoMe – a moment for

me – flashcards for grown-ups I gave the cards

to friends, suggesting they place them wherever they would notice them I have one

on my bedroom mirror, a few on my desk and one as a bookmark in a favourite recipe book, reminding me to stay present as I cook

The feedback I received was so positive from the start and the people who bought them for themselves or friends said how they helped them take mindful moments to check

in with themselves throughout their busy days

Since I started MoMe I have had an active presence on Instagram because I also found that I love photography and writing Social media has allowed me to connect with others who are suffering from tinnitus – even as far away as Peru, the US and Australia

I have discovered from research and from talking to other people who are suffering with tinnitus that there are different types of sounds – for some it’s a buzzing, for some it’s a ringing Some have it in one ear like me and others have it in both While there still isn’t much scientific research available pinpointing

a cause of tinnitus, from what I have learned from my own research it is either caused by loud music or trauma There are also different triggers that seem to set it off but stress appears to be a big factor in pitch differences There are four things that help me deal with my tinnitus daily:

●Meditation There are so many benefits that I have experienced from meditation, however the clarity and focus this brings

to my day makes me feel stronger to deal with the challenges my tinnitus brings

●Cycling I took up cycling after I discovered that the whistling of the wind in one ear seems

to drown out the sound in the other I am lucky

to have a cycle pathway near my house that leads to the University of Limerick along the banks of the River Shannon, so this has helped with my mindful practice as what I see

on my daily rides connects me with nature

●Tuning into other sounds The sound of the rain or when I go for a walk I will often stand for a moment and listen to the birds,

a stream, the sound of the wind blowing

or even the sound of cars driving by

●Gratitude practise Waking up each day with

a grateful heart means that on days I may not initially feel like going for a cycle, thinking of at least three things I feel grateful for helps give

me the mental energy I need to get on my bike One of my favourite MoMe cards says,

‘Accept what is Let go of what was and have faith in what could be.’ For me, this sums up living with tinnitus I have learned to accept that my hearing has changed These days I can’t remember what it was like not to hear the ringing sound and I have faith that it has made me stronger and in a way, because of

my mindful practice, it has perhaps even benefited my life I now think of it as my internal alarm bell that screamed at me

to re-evaluate a lot of things, including the benefits of tuning in to the sound of your breath and listening to your own voice.”

For more information visit mome.ie

38 S MAGAZINE ★ 17 MARCH 2019

Dr Rosemary Leonard MBE is a GP with many years’

experience working in London’s top teaching hospitals

NEW! Super sex

Contact Jane at S Magazine, Second Floor, Northern & Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames Street, London EC3R 6EN or email jane.

ogorman@express.co.uk Jane regrets that she cannot reply personally to your letters.

Do you have any advice for herpes on the lips and very dry cracked lips?

Unlike the rest of your skin, the lips don’t contain oil glands, so they are prone to drying out, and unfortunately licking them only dries them out even more

The best solution is to keep them well moisturised, using products that contain either beeswax or petroleum jelly

Avoid anything that is perfumed

or flavoured (including lip

balms) as these can cause allergic reactions and make the problem worse It can help to gently exfoliate the lips once a day beforehand, removing excess dry scales I’ve also seen a lot of cracked lips caused by lipstick allergy

My home is not my family’s drop-in centre

I’m going through the

menopause and the last

thing I feel like is sex Yet my

husband still expects us to

behave like teenagers This

is leading to rows with him

calling me cold and me calling

him selfish One of my friends

says that the change of life

made her feel sexier than ever,

but that’s certainly not my

experience If anything I feel

lost and washed up Is our

marriage doomed?

Keep talking to your husband;

let him know that you love and

cherish him It could be that penetration is off the menu at the moment, but you can still cuddle, kiss and pleasure each other Find the time to talk about how you like to be touched and treated Perhaps you’d enjoy a shower together?

And “dressy-up” date nights are important, too If a lack of desire or vaginal dryness continue to be a problem during

or after your menopause, then speak to your GP Relate.org.uk has a section on common sex problems on its website

late mother was so generous with her time and hospitality, but you’re not her – and your folks need to hear that you live a different life

It has now been five months since her death, so let it be known that you’re scaling things back for the sake of your own sanity Ask everyone to call or text before they come in future so that you can discuss timings As for them taking stuff; you have to draw a line before there’s an almighty row

Wi-Fi code I even get complaints

if my fridge isn’t stocked with their favourite sodas and snacks

Of course I cherish my family, but I’m not my mother and I’m not prepared to do what she did But how do I enforce my feelings without falling out with my folks, who can be a tricky lot?

You have to start as you mean

to go on or habits will become established and your home will be overrun It was wonderful that your

I’m sick of family members

treating my house like a drop-in

centre Since my mother’s death

last October my home has

become the unofficial family

headquarters As her eldest child

I seem to have inherited the

position of chief matriarch, but

it’s not a role I want My siblings

and their children simply turn up

and help themselves to my food

and drink They use my landline

(without asking) and demand my

support again and is trying to wear you down How can a liar and a fantasist change their ways?

Accept you had a lucky escape the last time and only surround yourself with people you respect

believe she was highly educated and independently wealthy Yet she asked for (and secured) a loan on our first date All her tales about a terrible childhood and abusive first husband were designed to prey on my sympathy

Now she’s asking for a second chance, but can I trust her even though she says she’ll be scrupulously honest this time?

You know you can’t trust this woman, so stop indulging her

Sadly, she is an opportunist and

an operator She thought nothing

of spouting a string of lies and then taking money from you within hours of meeting Now she realises she could do with your

and vow to lead a better life in future Maybe you and your ex were never really suited in the first place, that was why you failed to find happiness? Find something inside yourself to like and celebrate every new day Vow to make the most of the time ahead

of you Supporting the vulnerable may help you to feel useful and vibrant again Speak to your GP

if you’re struggling to cope

Should I give her a second chance?

Nothing my ex-girlfriend told me about herself was true We met online last year She led me to

How I regret taking

my ex for granted

My ex-husband was a good man,

only I didn’t appreciate it when

he was still here I was guilty of

picking holes and taking him

for granted Now I’m on my own

and have so many regrets The

tragedy is that he’s single,

too, but would rather live in a

cramped bedsit than come back

to me That’s how awful I am

My letters of apology have been

returned unread My sister says

to let bygones be bygones, but

how can I when I’m such a

horrible person?

Your sister is right Learn from this

Contact Dr Leonard at S Magazine, Sunday Express, Second Floor, Northern and Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames Street, London EC3R 6EN, or email dr.

leonard@express.co.uk Dr Leonard regrets that she cannot reply personally to letters Read her column every Tuesday in the Daily Express.

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