Diary of a wimpy kid cabin fever

___ Diaru oƒa Wimpu Kid Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin Fever Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Third Wheel... PUFFIN BOOKS Published by the Penguin Group Pengu

_ Diaru oƒa Wimpu Kid

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin Fever

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Third Wheel

by Jeff Kinney ys 7

PUFFIN BOOKS Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London wc2e ort, England

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puffinbooks.com First published in the English language in 20n

by Amulet Books, an imprint of ABRAMS, New York Original English title: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin Fever

(All rights reserved in all countries by Harry N Abrams, Inc.)

Published simultaneously in Great Britain in Puffin Books 2001

This edition published 2013 +022 Wimpy Kid text and illustrations copyright © Wimpy Kid, Inc 201

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TO TICHINO

_ NOVEMBER

\os† people look forward_+o the holidays but the

stretch between Thanksgiving and_Christmas just

makes me a nerVous wreck Tf you make a mistake

in_the first eleven months of +h e-year, it's no big

deal But if you do something _wrong-d uri hg the a

holiday season youre gonna pay for_it

T+s too much pressure to eon your best ap

behaviour for_a_whole month The most T can — really handle is_six or seven days ina row So

if they moved Thanksgiving +o the week before — Christmas it would be fine by me

Kids whose families dont celebrate Christmas — —

are lucky because they dont have to stress out

whenever they do something wrong.at this time

of year Tn fact, T have a few friends in that _

category who 1 think acta little extra jerky - —

around how _just because they cản,

The thing that REALLY makes me nervous is this

whole Santa issue The fact that he can see you

when youre sleeping and knows when youre awake

really e out So Te started wearing

sweatpants †o bed because J really dont need

Santa seeing mein my underwear

Tm not really convinced - that Santa has the time to keep an eye on you twenty-four hours_a day ain I, T_figure he can -only_check in ‘on each kik once ae twice a year fora - few seconds - and, rwithy-luck, :

— |} +hough- it fightve looked ————

that way from a distance 7

Then theres this ‘Naughty or Nice’ list theyre

always talking about You hearabout.it, but

you hever actually get +o SEE it, so it's up to s

grown-ups +o tell_you where you stand at.aty

giveh_moment And something about that just

doesn + seem right

IF YOU HELP ME WITH THESE

WILL BE JUST ENOUGH TO

— t3

.~” of

T kind of wonder how accurate the list really is

anyway Theresa kid_named Jared Pyle who_lives

up the street from me, and_if theres ANYONE _

who deserves to be on the “Naughty” list

it's him But last year he gota dirt bike for

Christmas, so don+ even ask me WHAT Santa was

thinking on THAT one

Ts not just Santa The got to worry about,

either Last year, when Mom was going through _

some old boxes, she found a homemade doll from _

her childhood

Mom said the doll is called “Santa's Scout! and —_

that his job is to.watch how kids behave and then

report back +o Santa at the North Pole

Well, Tem not a fan of that idea First of all, T

think you have aright to privacy in_yaur_own home

And,.second, Santa's Scout gives me the willies

L dont really buy the idea that this doll is

feeding Santa information, tut, just in case, T —

try tobe extra good whenever Tm in the same

room_as Santas Scout

But it probably doesnt matter anyway, because

my older_brother, Rodrick, is constantly feeding

Santas Scout bad information about me

DOLLAR BILL OUT OF |

a new place, which T guess is supposed to prove that

he travelled to the North Pole overnight But Tm starting to wonder if it's really Rodrick who moves him

Sunday s a Today we took all our Christmas decorations out

of the storage room in the basemen+ We have

boxes full of ornaments, and some of them are pretty old There's one with -a_picture_of me_and

Rodrick taking a bath in the sink that's really —

embarrassing, but Mom wont-let me throw it out

Manny, was taking a nap upstairs and,.when he

woke up and found out we were decorating the

tree without him, he had a total meltdown ._—

The-reason Manny was so upset was because

| someone had_hung_his favourite ornament, this —_

candy_cane_he really likes So Mom took it off the tree_and_handed_it to Manny +o hang up himself

p=

oe 1" 38NIFF‡

But Manny wanted his ornament tobe the —

EIRST one on the tree, so that meant we had

to take all the decorations down, just so he could

get his way

And thats just the kind of thing that happens —

in_my house every sinale day

Mom hasnt started +a use the threat of Santa

asa way of getting Manny to behave, but Tim —

sure_she will soon 1 dont think it's sucha good

an real leVeraae / `2

BUNNY IS GOING TO BE

DISAPPOINTED

Monday

Right before Thanksgiving break, there wasa —

contest at school +o see who could come_up with

the best anti-bullying slogan, and the grand prize wasa pizza party for the winning team |

Forma team of up to five and

come up with the best anti-bullying PIZZA PARTY inthe cafeteria!

5

Everyone wanted that pizza party, and people

didnt care WHAT they had to init “wo groups.of girls in my grade_came up with slogans that were really similar, and_each group accused

the other one of stealing their idea

“he whole situation spun out of control, and evenrtually the vice principal had +o step in to stop

it from turhing into_a full-scale riot

Our school_only has one legitimate bully this year

any way, and his name is Dennis Root And_with —

all the sighs and_posters everywhere Tim pretty

sure the message is getting, through to him

The day before Thanksgiving there was abig

anti-bullying assembly, and.everyone in the

auditorium was looking at Dennis the whole time T_ kind of fel+ sorry for him, so +red to make

him feel better

Even though Dennis is th real_bully in our

school this year, we had TH NO of hen

LAST year People were constantly getting picked

the playground where kids could press a button if -

they needed +o get a grown-ups attention,

—

Well, the Tell-a-Teacher station just ended up —_

bein 3-4 conVeni ent place for the bullies to hang

out to find their next victims,

The teachers say TEASING counts os bullying, —

to0,_but T don+† think there's anyway they’ Ye

gonna puta stop +o THAT Kids are always

calling each other names and that kind of thing

at mự_ school Tn - fact, ohe.of the reasons try _

to Stay under the radar_is because 1 dont want

to_end_up getting stuck with «nickname like —

Cody Johnson di d

| Si kindergarten Coy steped in some dog poop

at recess, and cer shee then gap have called

him “Dookie”

14

And Tim not just talking about the kids, either

Tm talking + about the teachers and even the

GETTING STRAIGHT A’S IN

ll tell you this: if T ever nan

Dookie, ll mave to.a different tm

1Š

But what would : probably happen is that someone

from m my OLD school would move +to my new iown_ —

and ˆ the whole thing -would just s†ar+- back up again

a good idea, but it didnt work out so well when 7

was getting bullied

There was this kid who_lived in - the neighbourhood _

nhu ana Some reason eeryone ced

lim ˆ ‘Nasty Pants” ~

C9.)

ro

The thing that really stunk was that me.and_

Rowley_used_the woods in that neighbourhood as

a shortcut +o get to school So we started having

to_go out of our way +o avoid getting harassed by Nasty Pants

17

We did EXACTLY what the teachers are always

telling us -†o do, and comp lained to the vice - principal But Vice Principal Roy said that since

Nasty Pants didnt go +o our_school there was _

hothing he could really do about it |

After getting chased.a few more times, To —_

decided T'd had enough, so T told Dad about

the situation was afraid Dad was gonna say 1

heeded -to toughen up and deal with the problem —_ myself but he surprised me Dad said that HE —_ had_ problems with a bully at my age.and he knew

Dad said that the ki ds_in the neighbourhood

told_their_parents about Billy and they all wert

to Billy's house +toconfront his mom_and dad

Mr Staples made Bil ly promise to never pick on "

anyone ever_again, and Dad said Billy burst into

+ears_and_mi ght have even wet his pants Tỉ —

Well, after hearing that story, TI dan think Billy

Staples wouldve been any match for Nasty Pants

But T told Dad TT lked the idea of complaining +o

the bully’s parents T called up Rowley and told

heeded as_much back-up as we could get |

9-2 a

SOR SY ele LỆ

SSO OS

Dad knocked on Nasty Pants's door, and we —

waited for one of his parents +o open it

But Nasty Pants HIMSELF came to the door,

ahd me and Rowley took off

T guess I should've described Nasty Pants to — Dad, because it took him a while to understand

that the kid who came to the.doorwas the one

who was causing us all that trouble

On the way home, Dad was pret mad at me for letting myself get bullied by.a kid who was still in kindergarten But let me just say inom i defence yinry

that when some kid.is chasing you with a stick — you don+ s†op to_ask him how old he is ———_

They took the last piece of playground equipment away at school today We started off the year

with all sorts of things, like monkey bars and

swings.and_stuff, but nay the playground is an —

empty sawdust pit

So_recess.is basically like a prison yard ——

T heard the school was having trouble paying

the insurance for the : playground, so every time there was some kind of accident or Quy injury on a

piece of equipment the easiest thing todo was — _ just remove it

Tn October, Francis Knott went flying off the _

swing-se†-and landed-an the seesaw,so that taak , out two big items right there

GC) ALK

We lost the monkey bars when 4 đj irl_named

Christine Higgins climbed - tothe top and then_got

too scared +o come down |

The teachers arent allowed +o touch kids, so —- they | had +o call Christine's parents to come a nd

Eventually; the only piece of equipment left was

the balance beam, and T figured nobods y-could get hurt_on THAT thing But, believe it or not,_Some_

idiot wasnt ooking where he was going the other _

24

Without any playground equipment, _there's really

nothing, for us todo But the teachers wont

even le us St downy Because they- say we have to

And it’s not like you! ‘re allowed “to bring in toys —

or Video games ˆ to keep yourself occupied, either —

Th fact, if you get caught with a “toy on the _ playground, it'll get confiscated Last week

somebody found_a_miniature_car_buried_in the sad

that looked i ike it had been there for years

TW A

The carhad three missing wheels, but people were

So desperate for entertainment that they lined up to_play with it while others kept lookout

Now there's a black market for toys at our school

from home yesterday, and T hear a single brick will

The teachers have banned a bunch of games we

used.to_play, too Last week a group of boys.were

playing Freeze Tag, but oneof them got hurt

when someone shoved him from behind

26

So now were hot allowed †o †ouch each ¿ other or _ even RUN Today people were play ing “Air Tag"

and getting around | by sgeed-walking, but it

wash+t really the same

Tm one_of those people who has.a hard time chà, focusing when the teacher is talking, and when "

another class is having, recess right outside the window its practically impossible to pay attention

“Wednesday

—_

OK, I take back what T said about being glad

the playground_equipment-is_gone Now the kids _

at recess dont have anything to do, so they just

stare in through the windows And that's seriously

distracting when youre trying +o take a test —_

Tt doesnt help that Tm not exactly the fastest

test-taker Tn third grade T hada teacher

named Mrs Sinclair who taught us all these great

tricks for remembering multiplication facts But

they seriously slow me_dowh

J) EIGHT TIMES FOUR IS THIRTY-TWO, J7 3 THIRTY-TWO; THIRTY-TWO!

d EIGHT TIMES FOUR IS THIRTY-TWO, J 3

~~“AND NOW YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE!

(TO THE TUNE WAR

OF-“HARXV-HADA— — LITTLE LAMB”) 3 ,

Eariec +his year we had a maths teacher named Me

Sparks who used to stand_on_his chair every time

he wanted us to remember something i mpor†tani _—

But once when Mr Sparks was trying to_get us to -remember_a maths concept one of the legs on his — chair_broke and he fell

(YAARGH?

“suing the school over rt + dont remember the

concept he was trying to teach us that day, but T

do_always remember never to stand_an the furniture

During recess 4oday everyone was just waiting

started sk ipping around the playground ——_

30

must ve thou ght Rowley was protesting against ol f

the new cules by_ skipping instead_of running, but

likes to do

For some reason it really gets on my nerves wher

Rowley_skips, so + buaaed _me +o see him prancing

around the + play ground like +hat Ski ipping is _

shally ra me sử ket btn the va of

Rowley says Tm jealous of him because 1 dont, —~ roto ee ee ust looks stupid

ONNN

31

Fill admit that T never exactly got the hang

of skipping Tn fact, T was the only kid _in_first

Twas afraid Td be held back until T learned how

to.skip, but luckily they let me move on to second |

; grade Still, Tm worried it’s gonna come back to haunt me_later_on

~—"YCREG HEFFLEY WILL NOT BE \

RECEIVING HIS DIPLOMA DUE

\ TO AN INABILITY TO SKIP /

Sometimes 1 wonder how me and Rowley ended

uw _beina friends in the first place, since were So

different But at this point T figure were stuck _

with each other, So T just try +o overlook the _

things he does that annoy me

Thursday

The thing that stinks about having Santa's —_—

Scout.wactching my every move at home_is that TLcant getaway with the things [_ used to do _

during the holidays

A few.years ago Mom and Dad_put some gifts

under the +ree a week before Christmas, and it

was.driving me_crazy not knowing what they were