New york city sucks

New York City Sucks, But You’ll Still Wanna Come Here: An English Reading, Vocabulary and Idiom-Building Survival Guide For Students Who Want To Know The TRUTH About The Big Apple Int

New York City Sucks, But You’ll Still Wanna Come Here: An English Reading,

Vocabulary and Idiom-Building

(Survival) Guide For Students Who Want

To Know The TRUTH About The Big Apple

Intro by Suzy

1) The English schools suck but you can stay in the USA with an F1 visa

2) An important tomb at an urban crossroads

3) Bed Bugs

4) They are not magicians, they are Jewish?

5) Please don’t give money to beggars

6) Ticket Blitz

7) Why the hell is Bloomberg the Mayor?

8) Yellow Fever

9) I almost killed my language exchange partner

10) Historic Stuff - NYC's rise to power

11) An Army of Blond Lesbians? Developing my gaydar

12) Immigration policy, get your victim visa!

13) See New York and die

14) Subway stories

15) 9/11/01: from tragedy to disillusion

16) Who is on the money?

17) My volunteer activity at a homeless shelter

18) I went to a sex club

19) From beatnik to hippy to punk to hipster? Welcome to Williamsburg

20) Police scandals: Diallo, Luima, Bell

21) Diversity my ass: Crown Heights, Brooklyn

22) Finding a place

23) A few historical New Yorkers you should know

24) I bought a gun to get my photo ID card

How to use this book :

This book is written completely in English Once you learn

English grammar, the only way to really master English is to leave your native language for periods of time and jump

completely into English This book helps you do that in a fun, supportive and interesting way

By the way, Suzy is my “alter-ego” (my “other self”) I’m Daniel Gauss, a guy who came to New York City to study at Teachers

College Columbia University and who has taught and tutored here

So Suzy’s stories are partly based on my experiences and partly

on experiences my students have told me

1 There are 23 reading passages First, read through a passage and try to understand as much as you can.

2 Then, go to the section where some selected words are

defined Some definitions are funny and some teach you about U.S or New York City culture/history Look through these words and definitions and try to understand and perhaps memorize the words you do not know Try to put the new words on index cards with their definitions so you can review them This really

helps!

3 After you have looked through the definitions and have

understood or memorized the new words, try to read the passage again The second time you will understand the passage better and will remember more new words.

4 Then, try to do the fill-in-the-blank exercises after each passage These are fun These will help you really learn new vocabulary words Your "passive" vocabulary (words you can

understand when you hear or see them) often becomes your

"active" vocabulary (words you can use to express yourself).

5 Finally, look at the grammar review section This section deals with common grammar mistakes that almost all new English students make It will be very helpful

Please enjoy this book or I will be sad.

Introduction from Suzy

You can learn the good stuff about New York City elsewhere I want to tell you the nasty, rotten stuff Maybe it's something about my personality Maybe I’m a cynic Or maybe I'm a do-gooder and I don't want you to be fooled about what exists over here before you come here In fact, if you

read this book, you’ll get a sense of what a New Yorker really is or can be, and if you actually

come here, after reading this book, you will feel more like a New Yorker than a clueless bug-eyed

tourist You will come here with open eyes, but not bug-eyes

What makes a real New Yorker? I think knowledge and experience make a real New Yorker You are a real New Yorker when you really begin to understand this place (the good stuff and the bad stuff) and start experiencing things you can’t experience in any other city (the good stuff and the bad stuff) Lots of people seem to be proud to have been born in New York City, but they are not necessarily real New Yorkers Real New Yorkers often come from other places

Immigrants used to come to America expecting to make money very quickly or to get well-paying jobs

and they were often treated like crap or garbage by the European folks who got here first And, instead of writing back home and saying, "Don’t make the same mistake I made! They treat

immigrants like crap here!" people were too embarrassed and would write back home and say, "Wow! What a great country! There is money to be made all over the place! I am so glad I came here!"

Basically, people would just lie in order to cover up the fact that they had made a bad decision That

meant that more people would come over and have bad experiences and then write nice things about

their experiences A whole cycle of this nonsense occurred

Well, I won’t do that I have integrity There are rotten things about New York City which you should know about REALLY rotten things There are some nasty, ugly, mean-spirited people here There are

people who live for nothing but money and their own personal comfort here Selfishness

abounds There is wide-spread, incredible poverty The Census Bureau estimates that 20% of New Yorkers live in poverty New York also has the widest income gap in the country The top 20%

of New Yorkers make 40 times the amount of money as the bottom 20% There are also 43,000

homeless people who are living in New York City shelters There are another 2,000 living on the

streets Almost every day someone begs me for money as I walk to work People even beg for money

on the subway Beggars are everywhere in Manhattan

Part of the problem is rent About 30% of New Yorkers pay over 50% of their salaries (the money they make) for rent For some poorer New Yorkers, this means that after they pay for rent, their phone bill, their transportation costs etc., they only have about $5 per day left for food About 1.8 million people in

New York City receive “food stamps” (this means they receive money from the government to receive

free food from supermarkets) There are about 8.2 million New Yorkers, so almost 22% of New Yorkers are getting free food The average amount a person receives, however, is only about $150 per month –

which isn’t much - but it probably keeps some people from starving to death Lots of Manhattan

churches hand out free food as well and have soup kitchens, so very hungry people often go there

New York City currently has a billionaire mayor who has, basically, ignored the poor and homeless, but who thinks he has done a wonderful job His agenda seems to have been to make life impossible

for the poor so that they would have to move out of the city There are, however, some people who are

too poor to even move out There are neighborhoods where you'd be crazy to go Some inner city young people carry concealed guns and sometimes people get shot by stray bullets There is massive corruption in the state government, a system of transportation that would be an embarrassment in a third world country and a police department that seems to have one scandal after another It’s true that New York City is the most diverse city in the world (there are people from over 250 countries here), but the different ethnicities and races seem to shun each other here

So there’s a lot to tell you about, my friend Let me start by complaining about the language schools

here I'll then complain about everything I can think of complaining about I'll also throw in some good

stuff about New York City, and some suggestions as to how you can survive here But this ESL book is primarily meant to give you some extra words (vocabulary development helps fluency) and to entertain you with the cold, hard truth about the "greatest" city in the world More than anything, I want you to

be ready when you get here I want you to be empowered here because this place can be rough If

you know a few things ahead of time that other people aren't telling you, you'll be safer and have a better experience here

Definitions of highlighted words:

stuff – this is a much used word in the American vocabulary It’s singular but means a collection of

things For instance, if you want to go shopping you might say you need to buy “a bunch of stuff.” "A bunch" is a collection of something, like a bunch of bananas The closest synonym to stuff would be

“things.” You can learn the good things about New York City elsewhere I don’t need any more stuff in

my living room I like learning stuff about nature Give me more of that stuff on that plate – it’s

tasty! Be careful, though Many foreign students sometimes pluralize this word, but there is no such word as "stuffs": only stuff

elsewhere – another source, another place, somewhere else

nasty, rotten – a nasty attitude is a mean, not nice, aggressive and negative attitude If you ask a sales clerk a question and she says, “Don’t bother me.” that’s a nasty attitude "To bother" a person

means to annoy or irritate the person Rotten means something bad If you leave an apple lying around for several days it will become rotten Any food left lying around too long will become rotten You will probably feel disgusted looking at a rotten piece of fruit Sometimes you ask a person how he/she feels and the person will say, “I feel rotten.” That means they are not feeling good at all If somebody acts in

a rotten way, you will feel disgusted by them By the way, attitude is a good vocabulary word Many

foreign students mistakenly use the word "mind.” They might say, "I don't like the American mind about guns." What they mean is, "I don't like the American attitude about guns." If a person is kind of nasty,

we can also say that he or she has a "bad attitude.”

a personality - a person's personality is made up of all of the psychological characteristics of a

person Sometimes there are certain characteristics that stand out more than others so a person might

be described as having a pleasant personality, or a negative, bad or nasty personality An American might say, "He has such a bad personality He's always critical and negative." I have a sweet

personality Really! Well, I wish I did I think I used to have a sweet personality before I came here

a cynic – someone who tends to always see the negative side of things If you are like this you are a

cynical person or a cynic The word cynic comes from an ancient Greek word for a group of philosophers who tried to remove themselves from Greek society in order to criticize it They kind of lived like

homeless people or Buddhist monks These philosophers never seemed to see anything positive about their society They always focused on the negative

a do-gooder – a do-gooder is someone who does good things for others The high-level version of this word is “altruist.” This word comes from the Latin word “alter” for “other” If you are an altruist you care about other people more than you care about yourself “Ego” means “I” in Latin An egoist is

someone who cares about himself or herself more than others If you are an egoist you can also be called “egocentric.” You can also be called self-centered or selfish

to be fooled – to be deceived, to be tricked, to expect one thing and then to be surprised with

something else (usually negative) A fool is basically a clown – someone that others laugh at

over here – many foreign students say “in here.” No, you are now “over here.” I used to live in

Moscow but I have been over here for 5 years now Over here Please practice this because it drives me crazy when people say, “I’ve been in here for 5 years.” Over here Please! Please? Pretty please?

clueless – a clue is what a detective or investigator looks for to solve a crime A clue is a hint or some

type of evidence that points to something else A lot of Americans use the term “clueless” for people who are kind of ignorant or who just don’t know what they should know You can also be clueless if you simply don’t know something about a subject I had never been to an Ethiopean restaurant, so I was clueless about how to eat the food without any utensils (in Ethiopean restaurants you have to eat the food with your fingers, using thin slices of bread to scoop up (pick up) the beef or chicken – a utensil is a knife, fork or spoon)

to be bug-eyed – bugs, or insects, often have huge eyes When I say a “bug-eyed” tourist I mean a

tourist who is overly impressed by New York City’s surface or impressions…as if the tourist is walking around with huge eyes just looking at tourist attractions and other stuff he/she is supposed to or

expected to look at, without really having experiences or understanding things

to treat s/o like crap – “to treat someone like” means to act toward them in a certain way I have

been treated well by Americans since I came over here If someone treats another person like crap, he treats that person badly “Crap” means poop Poop The stuff that comes out of your butt when you sit

on the toilet Ok? Poop, crap Actually, crap is the more polite word for “shit.” Your butt is what you sit

on The polite term for “ass” is “butt.” Be careful because “to treat” can also mean to pay for someone i.e Let me treat you to dinner tonight If you have been treated badly by someone, you might also say

“I was treated like garbage by him!”

folks – is a term that lots of people are using for “people” these days Some folks think that this

economic crisis was caused by irresponsible bankers There are some folks who like to travel, but I enjoy reading and staying in New York City I disagree with the folks who think we need to build more prisons and I agree with the folks who suggest we should economically develop our cities to prevent crime

to make a mistake – please be aware that the verb you use with “mistake” is “to make.” i.e I made a

mistake when I got off the subway in Brooklyn instead of Flushing

to lie to cover up s/t – to say something not true to try to hide something Politicians usually try to

cover up various wrong things that they have done In American history President Nixon tried to cover

up the Watergate scandal, in which he illegally and secretly recorded conversations of his political enemies in the Watergate Hotel President Reagan tried to cover up the Iran-Contra scandal, in which

he illegally sold weapons to Iran through a group in South America called The Contras "in which" is used a lot in English: I was involved in an activity in which I made a lot of money Speaking of scandals, Bill Clinton tried to cover up the fact that he had sex with Monica Lewinsky "the fact that" is

used a lot in English I don't like the fact that he has a nasty temper (he becomes angry easily) People were upset by the fact that the Congress raised taxes again "the fact that" serves the function of an object which is explained afterwards in the sentence

a cycle – a complete process that then begins again We use “a vicious cycle” to mean negative actions

that continue each other For instance, revenge leads to a vicious cycle Hatred leads to a vicious cycle

of hatred in that person A hates B and B returns the hatred so that A then hates B even more and B

then hates A more etc "In that" is also used alot - it kind of means: "because" or "for the reason that." There is also something called a “benevolent cycle” or a good cycle If a company pays

its workers well then the workers work harder and the company makes more money and can pay the workers more and they work even harder; this is a benevolent cycle

integrity – a sense of extreme honesty Integrity is a non-countable noun It is hard to find a politician

with integrity these days in New York; they are all corrupt and dishonest

mean-spirited – having a mean or nasty spirit or attitude Attitude is a good vocabulary word to know

– it can be used a lot If someone is mean-spirited they do not act in a kindly way It is as if they are motivated by an evil or mean spirit (ghost or demon)

to abound – if something abounds it is all over the place It spreads rapidly This word isn’t used

much; don’t worry about it Racism abounded in the South in the past, but now things are better there

spread – all over the place It has spread to many parts of a place The swine flu is not as

wide-spread as people thought it might be AIDS has become wide-wide-spread in parts of Africa

living in poverty – being very, very poor In America you are considered to be living below the poverty

line if you make less than about $12,000 per year If you are in a family of 4 and all the people in your family make under about $24,000 per year, all of you are living in poverty

The Census Bureau – This is a government agency whose job is to collect (compile) statistics, primarily

about the population of the USA The population of the USA is taken every 10 years (1980, 1990, 2000,

2010 etc.)

wide, wider, widest – the opposite of wide is narrow If something is “the widest” it is the largest

an income gap – a gap is a space between something An income gap would be the difference

between rich and poor people Income is the money you make The average salary of people in the top 20% in NY City is about $400,000 The average salary for the bottom 20% of New Yorkers is about

$10,000 I think there’s something wrong about this

a shelter – a building owned by the city where homeless people can go to get some food and to get

some sleep Many homeless people say the shelter system in New York City is dirty and dangerous

to beg – to ask for something as a type of gift or act of kindness or charity

food stamps – Now a days a person gets a card from the government that looks like a debit card

When the person buys food, he/she runs the debit card through a machine at the supermarket counter and money is deducted from the card In the old days people were literally given “stamps” worth a certain amount of money Yes, like the stamps you put on letters So even though people use electronic cards, the cards are still called food stamps

to starve – to go without food for too long Sometimes “starving” is used in a humorous way Yes!

Let’s go to dinner! I’m starving!

a soup kitchen – this is a place, usually at a church or synagogue (where Jewish people worship),

where they cook free meals for homeless and/or hungry people I don’t know why these places are

called “soup kitchens” because they serve much more than soup I have done volunteer work at a church called Holy Apostles – in Manhattan – where they serve thousands of people a year It’s heart-breaking to see all the sad, hungry people People often don’t talk to each other, they just look down at their food, eat and leave I think they are often deeply embarrassed (at least that is what I have seen)

a billionaire mayor - a billionaire has 1 billion dollars or more 1 billion is this: 1,000,000,000 A

mayor is the leader of a city The current Mayor of New York is the wealthiest person in the city with over 15 billion dollars It is no coincidence (no accident) that the wealthiest person is mayor here

to ignore - to not pay attention to, to overlook, to disregard

an agenda – a plan, a goal

You'd be crazy to go there - to be crazy means to be mentally ill, or insane To be crazy to go

someplace means that a normal, rational (logical) person would not go there because if he/she were to

go to that place, he/she would not be safe

inner city – I don’t know who created this term, but inner city usually means “bad neighborhood” or

“bad area.” An inner city young person lives in a bad, dangerous place Lots of poor, young New Yorkers live in dangerous places and they become changed for the worse by their experiences there

concealed – hidden In America everyone who does not have a serious criminal record and who is over

a certain age may buy a gun It is illegal in most states, however, to carry a concealed gun Believe it or not, there are some places in America where you can carry a concealed gun (Texas, for instance)

stray – something is stray when it goes someplace it wasn’t supposed to go A stray bullet is a bullet

that goes in a wrong direction or someplace the shooter of the gun didn’t want it to go Recently, a 90 year old woman was sitting in her apartment in the Bronx and a stray bullet from a gun went through her window and killed her Members of teenage street gangs had been shooting at each other A stray dog

is a dog that is lost or no longer has a home There used to be a rock and roll group in the USA called The Stray Cats (the lost cats)

massive corruption – massive means a huge amount Corruption is dishonesty and

wrong-doing Political corruption means secret or hidden or covered-up wrong-doing on the part of

politicians Corruption literally means “rottenness.”

a third-world country - During the Cold War period of history (1945 - 1989), a third-world country was

any country that wasn't an ally (friend) of the United States or Russia So small, developing countries were called third-world countries, and they are called this even to this day

a scandal – when it becomes public knowledge that someone famous or in power or in a situation of

responsibility has been doing something embarrassing or wrong A scandal is when knowledge of doing goes public

wrong-diverse - not the same, different The opposite word would be "homogeneous." That is pronounced "ho

MAGE in us" not "ho mo JEAN ee us." A homogeneous city would be a city that has, basically, the same race or ethnicity of people - basically everyone looks similar in a homogeneous city

ethnicities – an ethnic group is not a racial group If you were born in Korea, your race is Asian but

your ethnicity is Korean America is made up of many different ethnic groups: German, Irish, Polish, Italian, Jewish, Chinese, Latino etc The original European folks who came here were white, English (also called Anglo Saxon) and Protestant (a different Christian grouping from Catholic) So if a person in

America is a WASP, he/she comes from this original type of immigrant to America: White Anglo Saxon Protestant Believe it or not, WASPs do not make up the largest ethnic group in America Currently

German-Americans are the largest grouping (17%), followed by Latinos The number of Latinos in America is increasing rapidly, however, and so this group will soon become the most populous However, lots of Asians have been coming over as immigrants and this group represents the most highly educated group of immigrants to ever come to America

to shun – to avoid, to stay away from

to throw in – to include

to be or feel empowered – to feel as if you have the capacity or the power to be able to do

something

rough – the opposite of smooth In this case rough means difficult

Grammar Stuff – Common Mistakes – “If” statements

Here’s where I’m going to deal with common mistakes foreign students make For instance, if you want

to speak English, you are going to have to use “if” statements a lot

Take a look at that last sentence That’s a simple conditional statement You have the present tense in the first part and the future in the second part But, please notice, instead of “…you will have to use…” I wrote “you are going to have to use…” Americans don’t use the word “will” a lot They use “going to” more often

However, “will” is still used a lot in the conditional so feel free to use it that way if you want to As you get more familiar with English and get some experience with it, you can begin using “going to” more often

Let’s take a quick look at the three big ways that the conditional is used 90% of the time you’ll use one

of these three sentence structures Learn this thoroughly please! It is so useful

The simple conditional Present tense and future tense I would guess that 75% of the time you use

the conditional, you can use the simple conditional If you drink too much soda you are going to get fat Or: If you drink too much soda you will get fat “Drink” is in the present tense and “going to get fat” or “will get fat” is in the future tense

If we drive to Jersey we are going to pick up Bob (or: we will pick up Bob) If Joe eats much more he is going to get sick (or: will get sick)

The unreal conditional Past tense and would If Bob ate pork, he would get sick If I wrote this

down, it wouldn't get lost

But, there is also a way to use the unreal conditional with the verb "were." If Bob were to eat pork he would get sick If I were to write this down it wouldn't get lost So it would involve: were + to + a verb

Why "were"? In English we still have the "subjunctive" rule in regard to unreal situations using the word

"if." This rule states that if you use "if" in the unreal conditional, you should use "were" instead of "was." Most Americans don’t even know this Only 25% of Americans go to college

This is supposed to help people realize that the situation is unreal You will often, however, hear many Americans say, "If I was in his place I would not go home." But it's better to follow the subjunctive rule and use "were" instead of “was”: If I were in his place I would not go home If I were not tired I would walk over to your house If he were not to drive, he would have to walk The subjunctive rule seems to

be dying in the English language Because too many Americans are too uneducated to understand it? I didn’t say that! Who said that?!

All of this is about a hypothetical or theoretical or non-real situation – something that hasn’t happened but someone is thinking of doing it and thinking of the consequences of doing it This is a type of

situation which might or might not happen

"If I drank soda, I would get fat." More instances of the other way to convey the unreal conditional: If I were to drink soda I would get fat If I were to drive to Jersey I would pick up Bob If Joe were to eat pork he would get sick

Do you want the truth? Educated Americans seem to use “were to” and uneducated Americans seem to use the past tense That’s how it seems to me Actually, here's the real truth: most Americans don't even know how to use conditionals correctly Even journalists mess up the conditional in their newspapers One important rule of thumb (brief rule): never follow an "if" immediately with a "will" or "would" You will never say: "If I would…" or “If I will…” Never in a million years Never in a zillion years This is an impossible structure, but Americans use it anyway Please don't follow their example

Past unreal (or whatever the hell they call it) Basically, if you have to use “if” and it refers to

something in the past, you use this weird structure If I had driven into Jersey I would have picked up Bob So this type of “if” statement is about a hypothetical situation that might have happened in the past If Bob had eaten the old stale food he would have gotten sick If I had drunk a lot of soda I would have become fat

So it is: had + p.p - would have + p.p It’s so easy

Oh my God! I can’t believe it when foreign students make mistakes with “if” statements! If you use “if,” 90% of the time you are only going to have THREE sentence structure choices So, people, PLEASE, pretty please! Please stop for just a second and determine which of the three structures you will need to use when you use “if.” These “if” statements are so easy but so many foreign students make mistakes

when they use if! Every time you are about to use "if" please catch yourself and think, just briefly: Present + will? Past + would? Had + p.p + would have + p.p?

Oh! I almost forgot You don’t always have to use “will” or “going to” or "would” in the second part of

an “if” statement You can use other “modals” like “can” or “should” or “might” i.e If you go to Astoria you can buy some good Greek groceries If I had known about the sale, I might have bought some clothes from there But the structure is the same Please nail down these conditionals; they are

essential "To nail down" means to really master or understand something You hit a nail with a

hammer If you nail something down using a hammer and nail, that object cannot move any

more Please be aware, however, that the type of nail you can hit with a hammer is different from the type of nail on your fingers

15 essential vocab words – fill-in-the-blanks

For all fill-in-the-blank activities, the verbs can be used in all tenses and the nouns can

Although many business leaders in America have donated huge sums of money to charities, a

_ might argue that the donations are not “from the heart” but are meant to make the

business leaders look more human than they really are

Many newcomers to New York City are shocked by the attitude that many MTA (subway) workers have; if you ask them a question they often answer rudely or just ignore you

Even though the United States Constitution allows Americans to own guns, these guns must never be carried in a _ manner In fact, the guns are not supposed to be carried at all – they are for home protection

Everyone was relieved to hear that the teenage girl in the Bronx, who had been hit by a _ bullet from an illegal gun, was going to live

If you are going to come to New York City for a short time, you need to establish an efficient

_ There are so many things to see and do, that unless you plan carefully, you will not see and do everything

When I first got here I was so about the subway system One day I was trying to get to Williamsburg Brooklyn and wound up in Harlem

The most obvious type of political _ involves politicians taking bribes (money given to a politician illegally to influence a political decision)

One of the biggest in New York history involved Governor Eliot Spitzer (a governor is the leader of the State of New York…the Mayor is the leader of the City of New York) Spitzer was visiting various prostitutes during the period of time he was Governor, and he was forced to resign when this was discovered by the FBI (The FBI is the police department of the United States of America – it’s much more powerful than city police departments Federal Bureau of Investigation)

My neighbor recently told me that unless you make about $40,000 a year in New York City, your life will

be kind of _ here I am not sure, though I think how easy or difficult your life here is, will depend on how much you have to pay for rent

When the young man asked me for spare (extra) change (coins) because he was homeless, I strongly encouraged him to enter a New York City _ Even though I have heard they might not be completely safe, I felt that a social worker at such a place might be able to help him

I was really surprised to find out that sales clerks in department stores, in New York City, have such nice In Paris and some other European cities the clerks do not treat the buyers with much respect or kindness, but in New York the clerks will smile and chat and talk to you about your purchase

A person coming to America who wants to avoid getting fat needs to _ all the tasty bagels and fried foods which are everywhere in this city

Visitors from Asia are often shocked by the fact that New Yorkers walking down the street just

traffic lights and walk signals Basically, if a car is not coming, a New Yorker will cross the street regardless of the traffic sign or walk signal

Very few people would argue that Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia was a man of immense _ He fought against corruption in New York City government and ended many organized crime groups in the city Few subsequent (following) mayors were, however, as honest or competent

Answers: Ethnicities, cynic, nasty, concealed, stray, agenda, clueless, corruption, scandals, rough, shelter, personalities, shun, ignore, integrity,

Chapter 1: The schools suck but I got an F-1 Visa

You may call me Suzy That’s my American name for Susana (I’m from a Spanish-speaking country originally) Susana sounded too exotic for the Americans I began working with after I finished graduate school here, so people in the office just started calling me Suzy Actually, they used to try to call me

Susana, but they pronounced the middle syllable sound strangely – the sound seemed to come out of

their noses instead of their mouths, and that sounded worse than Suzy So I’m stuck with Suzy while I live here That’s ok, it kind of sounds sexy in a WASPy way: Suuuuuuuuuu zeeeeeeeeeeeee

In a country that nominally claims to value diversity, the foreigner seems to only really be valued when

he/she speaks English very well and acts like an American In America the foreigners who keep their foreign names and don’t master English usually work at companies operated by people from their own

countries So every foreigner here faces a dilemma: become reborn as a WASP and prosper, or keep your name and culture and get marginalized (pushed off to the side of society)

Lots of people seem to think I have become a WASP You can judge for yourself as you read this book

Personally, I think an intelligent foreigner can lead a double-life here: on the surface you can speak and

act like a WASP, but underneath you can still be a proud member of your own culture It takes

intelligence, but it’s possible It’s a game you can play with Americans Peek-a-boo! Now I’m a WASP,

now I’m a Latina/Asian/European etc They call this game diversity here

Like many foreign students from all over the world, I thought that coming to New York City and attending

a language school would help me to really nail-down the English language Actually, first my agency

in my home town (to whom I paid a fortune) sent me to a language school in Oklahoma before I

started my graduate program They told me that studying in a city where there are not that many

Spanish-speakers would help me to interact more with native-speakers and force me to speak English

The problem? Almost my entire class was Korean @_@ Lots of Koreans come to America That’s OK, though, because I learned a lot about Korea I ate kimchi and dukboki (spicy Korean foods) every night

and learned some Korean And I started to get fat! So I figured that if I were going to speak with

Koreans all the time and potentially get fat, I’d do it in New York City And, any way, my Oklahoma language school sucked How was I supposed to know, however, that most, if not all, language schools seem to suck?!!!

Generally, based on what I’ve seen and heard, the English language schools in New York City suck

They really suck They suck a lot Maybe I’m wrong and I just haven’t heard of any good ones; who knows Most folks who come here don’t know about the quality of the schools when they come

here They think they are really going to improve their English Sorry I gotta tell you the truth Within about a week or so, after the shock wears off, students realize they have been had and just kind of settle in They accept the inevitable Their priorities change They start out thinking: “Man, I’m really going to improve my English here!” but they wind up thinking: “Shit Well, at least I’m in New

York City I can enjoy myself.”

An ESL student’s priorities often change from learning English to enjoying the greatest city in the world

with the most diverse population in the world They enjoy the shopping, the theater, the restaurants and the museums and the overall strange atmosphere – they enjoy the freedom here Lots of foreign women

tell me that they can relax here – they don’t have to be super skinny They can eat what they want

Everybody who comes over here seems to like this place

Well, this is a nice consolation, but, damn it, English is important these days Oh, another good thing about New York City despite the shitty, lousy schools – at least you can potentially make a little money here if you want to Alot of my foreign friends try to get some type of under-the-table job

here where they are paid in cash (you don’t have to pay taxes then)

Most restaurants seem to hire people illegally This seems to be common knowledge here Bloomberg –

this short, old, ugly, mean guy with a nasally voice who has zillions of dollars and is the mayor –

seems to think illegal immigrants and illegal jobs are good for business At least that’s the conclusion I’ve

derived Welcome to America, a nation of justice and laws The argument seems to be that if

“Americans” worked at restaurants they would have to be paid more and restaurant meal prices would rise/increase That would kill or destroy tourism So Bloomberg feels it is better to make immigrants work for a very low salary to keep meal prices at restaurants down Keep them down? Ha ha ha! The prices here are crazy! The prices for meals at restaurants are often very expensive! Basically the

restaurant owners can make even more money with illegal workers

I knew, for instance, a Japanese girl who got a job as a waitress at an upscale Japanese restaurant in SoHo The owner paid her $8/hr And (!) she and her fellow waitresses were NOT allowed to keep their tips! So if four people sat together and ate at the restaurant, the bill would usually come to around

$200, and they would leave a tip of at least $40 – thinking it would go to the waitress No, the owner would take that and give the waitress $8/hr Back to the shitty schools, maybe I’ll write about shitty restaurants later

I think that there are some folks who know that the schools here suck These are the folks who pick the cheapest schools In fact, I think there are some schools that exist primarily to give out the F1 visa to

students who just want to spend more than 90 days in New York City I once attended a business school that also had a very small English school in which there were only 60 students enrolled, but only four students ever showed up for the English school (Notice, you have to use “in which” or “where” here instead of “that”.)

Of course, that was totally illegal, but this IS New York Stuff happens here that might surprise you I

mean, a recent Governor of the state was visiting prostitutes, journalists must have known this, but nobody did anything for a long time Finally the FBI did something and he had to resign Was he thrown in jail? No Now he has his own television show Welcome to America

At this school, however, when the inspector from NYSED (The New York State Education Department) would drop by, THEN all 60 students would have to show up and it would look like a real school The

next day, only four students would show up again America This is why so many people wanna come here Working for NYSED has to be the easiest job in the world How can I get a job at

NYSED? Actually, they'd fire me because I would actually try to do something to make the schools

better

In any case, this type of place is called a "ghost" school You know what a ghost is: it is supposedly the spirit left over from a person after he/she dies A ghost is something “not real,” just as these schools are not real I know of at least one ghost school in Queens They keep two sets of records - one for NYSED

and one for their students, to keep track of the payments The school falsifies (puts false information

into) attendance records A lady from Japan that I knew felt she needed to take personal tutoring

lessons to learn English, so she paid this ghost school $90 per week to falsify her attendance and give her an F-1 visa, while she worked under-the-table as a house-cleaner and took lessons from her

tutor There has to be a better system than this Hello, NYSED? Get off your asses and do some work!

At the ghost school that I mentioned above (not knowing that it was a ghost school when I joined) my

ESL teacher would always take us to Central Park for lessons because he was addicted to smoking If you are addicted to something, you can’t stop doing it He was a chain-smoker He could smoke at

Central Park while we conducted our “lessons.” I hate cigarette smoke Frankly, the guy disgusted me

He would always prepare the “lessons” ten minutes before class by photocopying something from some

type of text book It was sad that he took such a perfunctory approach to teaching us

Oh! Are you looking for a good under-the-table job? I recently heard of one There are some people

who enroll at “real” ESL schools, but then hire surrogates to take their classes for them I couldn’t believe it either I am not sure exactly how they do this, but a couple of my foreign buddies told me

they are sure this is happening One of them was offered this type of job but she had too much integrity and turned it down Apparently you have to kind of look like the person you are taking the classes for and use that person’s ID to get into the school Then you just pretend to be that person The real

student then gets an under-the-table job and makes a lot of money tax free while the surrogate also gets paid and learns English I’m guessing Bloomberg would think this is good for business

One of my friends went to an ESL school where (you could also use the relative pronoun "in which" here)

all you had to do was "swipe" your ID card This automatically registered you as having "attended" the

school that day So one student would go in with three or four ID cards and swipe all of her friends in

for the day and then leave during a break Of course, schools are supposed to have strict attendance policies because the 9/11/2001 terrorists all had F1 visas As if terrorists can’t swipe! Nice rules and

regulations America Basically, what I'm trying to say is that many immigrants use the ESL schools as

ways to stick around America for long periods of time This is one reason why so many of the schools

suck, because they become a type of F1 visa ghost-school system And, basically, it looks as if many of the ESL schools welcome this and there's really nobody in NYC or the government who seems to really

care They "look the other way." I have discovered there's lots of "looking the other way" in

America This is one of the reasons why terrorists were able to fly airplanes into the World Trade

Center buildings Too much looking the other way causes lots of harm, obviously It’s a lesson that wasn’t learned here

But even the ESL schools that don't exist as ways to get the F1 visa often seem to kind of suck I have

to be honest with you I have yet to hear one foreign student tell me that he/she was really, really happy with his/her language school There was always some kind of problem Again, maybe I just hang around cynics – I might be wrong And, you might ask: Why do the ESL schools suck so badly? Well, I

have some theories

I learned a lot of grammar back home They emphasized grammar and vocabulary because there was a shortage of English teachers who speak native-English Essentially, the NYC language schools seem to

suck because I have yet to even hear of one that provides great language practice Period I gotta be honest I knew a foreign girl who came here and immediately found a boyfriend who spoke English She

had worked in Tokyo in a hostess bar so she had some experience dealing with men Her fluency

improved so much! Don’t think I didn't think about doing that! :P Interesting proposal: sex for

English Can I be that slutty? Well, English is important :P And what happens in America stays in America How did my English get to be so good? Ha ha ha I bet you wanna know :P But seriously,

my point is that if you come to America to learn English, be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and meet Americans Too many students come here and just associate with people of their own

ethnicity

I did hear about a couple language schools where you only get about three to five students in a room at

one time and they charge you an arm and a leg for this, and the “instructor” does ask you to speak alot, but, damn it, how the hell is a person going to speak fluently unless someone corrects his/her

mistakes?! Some instructors do and some don’t (That’s also a problem with native-speaking boyfriends Many American guys basically want sex, sports and food Getting them to correct your English is

tough OK, I never exchanged sex for English Ha ha ha What do you think I am, a ho?) In order

to really speak fluent English it is necessary to get someone who will catch your mistakes, correct them,

and write something down so that you can review your mistakes later and practice correct English

sentences on your own

Many of these ESL “instructors” (as I later learned) only make $13.33 – to $18 per hour That’s pretty low High-level vocabulary time: That’s a paltry salary, baby Because they were making so little, they

took what might be called a perfunctory (they were not enthusiastic) approach to teaching They always did something in class, but they weren’t very enthusiastic about teaching I heard from someone that at this type of school the ‘instructors’ ask lots of questions but do not always correct grammar mistakes A friend of mine attending this type of school told me that one of her instructors would keep checking her

cell phone or send text messages out using her blackberry during class What a fucking waste of time

So if they paid these teachers more, they might be better teachers So why are these “instructors” paid

so little? It seems that becoming a licensed ESL teacher is the easiest thing in the world I checked into

this and found out that very few classes are required to become an ESL teacher if a person has at least a

BA Just ask your ESL instructor what he/she studied in college Many will say, theology, philosophy, business, literature, economics etc I think that most of the ESL teachers gravitate toward this

profession because they either can’t decide what they want to do with their lives or they failed at

something (or more than just one thing)

There are, of course, the famous and not so famous universities that offer classes, and of all the ESL schools, I have heard some good things about these places and I had an OK experience at one At least

at these schools they give you tons of work At the very least, you learn stuff about American history

or culture They give you lots of writing assignments and they make you study vocabulary They tend to

take things seriously Still, I gotta be honest, even the students who go to these schools tend to bitch and moan that they are not really learning how to speak English

Again, all of this looks really nice: lots of homework, some writing, lots of high-level vocabulary words

and all that shit But the classes generally have 15 – 20 or more students and virtually no speaking practice Same old shit It looks impressive, but you go back home still speaking broken-ass

English Well, I guess at least you can say, “I studied ESL at an American University.”

So this is why, in part, I’m writing this book Maybe if somebody speaks up, the schools will get better I can’t give you speaking practice (get an American boyfriend/girlfriend! That’s your homework!), but I can give you some stuff that will be really useful in terms of vocabulary and idioms The better your

vocabulary, the better your fluency will be And, again, I want to warn you about stuff here I’ll try to tell you a bit about New York City since you, like everyone else, probably want to come here So by the time you get here to experience your own lousy ESL school, you’ll know a lot and you’ll see how right I was!

Suzy's Advice:

Unfortunately, I don’t have much more advice There used to be a place in New York City called The

International Center All of the teachers in the classes were volunteers - which is not necessarily a good thing since they were not "real" teachers - but they were conscientious people who wanted to

help foreign students to learn English I mean, let’s be honest, ESL teachers are not “real” teachers either The real benefit, from what I could tell, was that you could drop by there any time they were open and find other foreign students with whom to speak English They had a cafeteria and you could drop by and sit down with someone and just start talking - that's what everyone was there for

Ideally, however, you want someone who is a native speaker to help you - someone who can correct

your mistakes and maybe take notes for you that you can review later If you get a tutor, tell

him/her that this is what you want Your tutor should ask you questions, you should answer them

and the tutor should correct your mistakes You'll make progress speaking English this way if you pay attention to your mistakes and try to correct them The more speaking you do the better your fluency will become, obviously You also need to boost (increase) your vocabulary Use this book!

Here is Suzy’s great formula for success in anything: Desire + Confidence + Focus = Success If you really want to learn something, and you believe you can learn it and you really focus on what you want to learn, you will learn You have to want to learn this language You have to really want to learn English!

At the International Center people were able to speak English with non-native speakers who were not

able to correct mistakes Here’s where the controversy starts Some experts think that if you are going to speak broken English, you shouldn’t speak it at all They argue that the more you speak broken English the more you reinforce your usual mistakes and the worse your English will ultimately

be Essentially, they argue that you will just keep your mistakes forever But I think that continually speaking English can be helpful; I think it's better than nothing and probably better than sitting in a school and reviewing grammar And, it can be fun for you and your foreign friends to try to catch each other’s mistakes, if you can use your foreign friends from your school

So I would say (take my advice or leave it) that if you want to come to the USA for just 3 months to work on your English, don't bother enrolling in a school Come on a tourist visa In fact, you don’t

even need a visa now if you are from some country that is currently a friend of the USA Find an

inexpensive place to stay (somewhere in Queens? There are five parts or boroughs to New York City: Manhattan, The Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island) and find an inexpensive tutor Just type:

‘English tutor New York’ into a search engine Please be careful of a site called www.craigslist.org,

however Basically “craigslist” has become a site where people love to cheat and steal money fromother people The people who work at craigslist don’t seem to care It looks as if people sell stolen goods on this site and a few people who have met strangers from this site were murdered (they have sections where you can meet people) I’m not joking I have to be honest Just be careful Some foreign students that I know have told me that they have met 5 or 6 tutors from this site and that they were all terrible Often a tutor will quote one price, then show up and ask for more money Basically, craigslist is bad news Many foreign students use craigslist to meet language exchange partners If you do this, please, please, please meet the stranger in a public place Meet your tutor in a public place too and get

a feel for him/her (try to determine whether he/she is good for you) Then, always meet your tutor in a public place I’ve heard that many people use craigslist to find housing in New York – you are free to try

it – but I have heard that people have lost money by doing this as well

By the way, don't pay your tutor more than $30/hr An English tutor is not like a math tutor Students

make improvements in their English relatively slowly To be brutally honest, even the best language

tutor is NOT worth more than $30/hr Even with the best tutor your progress is going to take some time

- that's how it goes, unfortunately Anyone who wants to charge you $40 or $50/hr is not worth it

and probably cares more about making money than he does about your welfare Hey, I'm Suzy, I gotta

be honest There are some tutors who think that if you can afford to come to the states you must be

rich F uck them! Find someone reasonable Then, take control of your tutoring Come in with topics

for conversation and tell your tutor what you want to talk about Read articles and ask the tutor to

question you about them Be pro-active - take control of your English progress! Nobody cares about

you as much as you do! :P But I care about you too! That’s one of the reasons I wrote this book

Definitions of terms:

to suck - is an essential verb in New York City Bush sucked Taxes suck My new boyfriend sucks

because he is so cheap The subway system in New York City sucks If something sucks, it's bad Really bad This used to be a “dirty” word or a vulgar word a few years ago, but now it is used widely, even in some newspapers Many students make mistakes using it, however You cannot say: It is sucks You can say: It sucks It sucked It used to suck It’s going to suck I think the expression "It sucks!" comes from the older expression: "It stinks!" In the old days if someone didn't like something he would say, "It stinks!" Somehow this changed to "It sucks!"

may vs can - “can” means “to be able to” and “may” means “to have permission to.” May I come

in? May I borrow your pencil? You may come in You may feel free to use my pencil Many Americans confuse “may” and “might.” Lots of Americans really speak terrible English You have to use “may” to indicate permission; "may" or “might” is used to indicate something hypothetical or something that possibly will happen We may/might be able to arrive on Tuesday May we stay with you if we do arrive then? Many foreign students use "maybe" instead of "may" or "might.” Stop using “maybe” so

much!!!! Maybe we can go to the club tonight if it doesn't rain…no…don't overuse maybe…try: We might

be able to go to the club tonight if it doesn't rain

used to try, used to trying – If you did something for a while in the past and then stopped, you have

to use “used to” in English I used to live in Wisconsin, before I moved to Texas I used to drink a lot of soda, but I stopped in order to lose weight “Used to + ing” is different I am used to drinking green tea every morning when I wake up I am used to taking the MTA, so it doesn’t bother me if it is dirty or unreliable I was used to going to work at 9am, but then my schedule changed See the

difference?

exotic – strange, foreign, weird to those Americans who like things nice and simple and plain

to be stuck with something – you can’t get rid of something, can’t stop something from happening,

you have to keep something For instance, “My neighbor gave me a stray cat and my children like it, so even though I want to throw it back out into the street, I guess I am stuck with it.”

a WASP, WASPy – a WASP is a White Anglo Saxon Protestant Anglo Saxon is a fancy term for a

person whose ancestors came from England A protestant is a non-Catholic Christian WASP culture is the dominant culture of America WASPy would be the adjective form

nominally – if somebody does something nominally, they say something but in reality what they are

talking about does not exist i.e Nominally, North Korea is a democratic republic In reality, it is a country ruled by a crazy dictator (a dictator is one person who controls a whole country) Nominally, the United States supports freedom around the world, but during the protests in Egypt, the US Government did not demand that the dictator immediately resign from office

to value s/t – to like something, to appreciate something

a dilemma – this is when a person faces two choices and both of them suck

to prosper – to do very well, to succeed

marginalized – to be marginalized means to be pushed off to the side The margins of a piece of paper

are to the sides of the paper If you marginalized in a society, nobody “important” cares about you

a double-life - this is when you live one type of normal life, on the surface, but you also pursue another

type of secret life Before homosexuality became acceptable in America, many gay and lesbian folks lived double-lives They acted “straight” at work but met at various gay-bars and activities on the weekends

peek-a-boo: this is a game adults play with babies The adult hides his/her face behind his/her hands and then reveals his/her face saying “Peek-a-boo!” to the baby Babies laugh hysterically when adults

do this I really don’t know what the hell peek-a-boo means Hysterical – when you completely lose control

to nail down means to master something completely You literally nail a carpet to the floor to keep it in

place A nail is a long, pointed iron thing that is hammered, with a hammer Many English words have

“literal” and “figurative” meanings To nail something literally is shown here: How do you like my

new mirror? I am going to nail it to the wall now Figuratively: Man, it would take me 10 years to nail down the Chinese language A figurative meaning is a more symbolic or abstract meaning You also have finger nails and toe nails but they are, obviously, different from the nails used with a hammer

a fortune – literally, a fortune is a huge amount of money that a person owns Figuratively, a fortune

means a high price or a high cost

to force me to do something – be aware that Americans use the term “force” a lot I was forced to stay home this weekend because of the rain Don’t try to force me to go to the party “to help me” is

also useful and is also confused with “to force me.” Being in New York helped me to learn about life in

an American city If you have no choice and it’s kind of a negative meaning, use “force.” If something beneficial is the result, use “help.”

I figured – to figure means to determine or to think or to judge I figured that he was going to be late;

he always is I figured that my subway would not arrive on time, that is why I walked here

generally - This means, “in general” so it refers to something that usually happens or happens

predictably Generally, I wake up at 7am Generally, I don’t like Hollywood films Generally, the MTA runs badly Try some of your own examples

I gotta – you’ll sometimes hear an American use this contraction I gotta be honest or I gotta tell you

something…gotta means “got to” or “have to” I have to be honest The most common use of gotta is in the phrase: I gotta hand it to you… That means I have to admit that you did something good I gotta hand it to you, your English has really improved

after the shock wears off - To wear off means that something no longer has the effect it used to

have After the drugs wore off, I was in pain again The effect of the sleeping pill will last a long time; it usually only wears off after 8 hours In this case, after a person is shocked or surprised, the shock wears off or diminishes and is replaced by apathy (no feeling whatsoever) The person simply doesn’t care any more

they have been had - “to be had” means to be deceived or fooled and usually cheated I paid them

$100 for the 3 hour tour and then realized I had been had! Other tours only charge $30

If you are cheated, and they’ll try to cheat you here, you “have been had.”

to settle in - means to start to feel comfortable somewhere I moved in to my new apartment three

weeks ago but only now have I begun to settle in

inevitable – it has to happen or it had to happen, there was no avoiding it

Man! – this is an exclamation like “Wow!” or “Shit!” or “Oh fuck!” It seems that this exclamation started

in the 60s and 70s among young drug users Examples of how it might be used now: Man, I am

tired Oh man, that coat is expensive!

to wind up doing something (wind, wound, wound) - means that you intended to do something

but did something worse instead I intended to go to Philly this weekend but wound up staying at home Wound up is the past tense She wanted to get her PhD but wound up settling for a Masters If you try to steal something you will wind up in jail

Shit! is a dirty word It is an expletive You say "shit" when you are angry "Shit" of course, is,

basically, poop It is the solid waste material you flush down the toilet "Piss" is the liquid stuff you flush

down the toilet That's a dirty word too If you are angry in America you can say you are "pissed off." I am so pissed off with the fucking MTA! It's the worst transportation system in the world North

Korea really pisses me off! Bush pissed me off when he invaded Iraq You hear “pissed off” a lot in American conversations and even sometimes on the radio Do you think I use too many dirty words? Jesus Christ! Don’t be such a judgmental asshole! You need to know this shit!

priorities - your primary or most important goals

skinny – the opposite of fat, very thin

consolation - something that gives you comfort In many competitions there is a consolation

prize You don’t win first, but you did well enough to get something and so they give it to you so you don’t feel too bad Reading mystery novels is a consolation to me on days when my students have been

mean to me One consolation of being a teacher is that you get the summers off After my best friend left New York City, it was a consolation that I still had some good friends who cared about me

Damn it! - is an exclamation in English If something doesn’t go as you planned, you might exclaim:

Damn it! It’s nicer than saying “Fuck it!” or “Fuck!”

these days – is often used in English What are you doing these days? These days I have been

sleeping alot You seem to have alot of free time these days

shitty, lousy – if you feel shitty, you don’t feel very good Same thing with the word “lousy.” If your

day hasn’t been going well you might say, “What a lousy day I have had today.” Or “What a shitty day I have had today.” Shitty is a dirty word though

an under-the-table job - is a job that is not reported to the government Therefore, neither the

business nor the employee has to pay taxes It’s called “under-the-table” because the money between employer and employee is exchanged secretly, as if passed under a table Believe it or not, the Mayor’s Office of New York City seems to condone (approve of) under-the-table jobs because people who work illegally seem to help certain businesses make more money These people do not, however, pay income taxes, so, basically, it seems that the Mayor’s Office of New York City doesn’t think everyone needs to pay income taxes Welcome to America! This happens primarily in the restaurant industry So the question is, is it right to hardly pay some people any money so that relatively wealthy people can eat nice dinners and restaurants can make a lot of money? We are being fair to immigrants by doing this?

nasally – if you have a nasally voice you sound as if you have a cold or a flu A nasally sounding voice is

somewhat high-pitched (like a soprano in the opera) but it sounds terrible – as if the person is speaking through his/her nose

zillions – this is a good example of “hyperbole” (pronounced hi per’ boh lee) Hyperbole is

over-exaggeration Numerically, we have ones, tens, hundreds, thousands, millions, billions, trillions…when you say “zillions” you mean “a huge amount of something.” There is no such number as a zillion It is

an expression that means “a lot.” Actually it often means “too much.”

the mayor – he is the “leader” of an American city Or, he/she is supposed to be the leader of a city

Some mayors, however, don’t seem to do anything good Do I mean Bloomberg? Ha ha ha ha ha Yeah

to derive – if you derive a meaning from a work of art you get a meaning To derive something means

to get something

upscale – an upscale restaurant is an expensive restaurant The opposite of “upscale” would be

“affordable.”

fellow – a fellow waitress means a colleague, or another waitress A fellow teacher is someone who,

like you, teaches Fellow usually refers to a guy, but when the word is used in this manner, it means

“another person who has the same job as you.”

a tip - this is a little extra money that you are supposed to leave for a waiter/waitress or cab driver or

hair-cutter, after you pay your bill A normal tip is usually about 15% and a good tip is usually about 20% Basically you have to pay a tip because restaurant owners are not ethical human beings and do not want to pay their wait staff a fair salary So they make you pay the staff I gotta be honest

Restaurant owners are, basically, cheap bastards who openly break the law If I owned a restaurant, I

wouldn’t pay human beings $2/hr., which is what most restaurant owners in New York City pay

The Governor runs the state - he's in charge of the state of New York So the Governor is like the

president of a state There are 50 states in the USA and so there are 50 governors George Bush used

to be the Governor of Texas New York City is run by the Mayor New York City is just a very small part

of New York State Most people who come to New York City from other countries do not know much about the other cities in New York State, but the state is huge Eliot Spitzer was the Governor who was caught visiting prostitutes

a prostitute is a woman who sells her body to men for sexual pleasure Other terms for prostitute are

“hooker” or “whore” or “ho.”

The FBI - is the Federal Bureau of Investigation Often if there is political corruption in a state, the

federal or national government in Washington D.C will have to do something about it because the state itself might be so corrupt that it can’t or won’t do anything The FBI is the police department for the United States of America In 2001 they were not doing their jobs and allowed terrorists to fly airplanes into buildings in New York City

to resign – this means to quit one’s job

to be thrown in jail - this is the idiom that is most used We don't say he was "put" in jail, he was

“thrown” in jail Or you could say that he was imprisoned

an inspector – this is a person who works for the city or the state and who inspects or looks into how

agencies or institutions licensed by the city or state are operating Basically, most inspectors don’t seem

to care about their jobs in New York City

to drop by – this means to come over to a person’s place informally

would – in this case I want to point out that would can often mean “used to” in English

to fire s/o – the opposite is to hire s/o To fire an employee means to get rid of the employee Believe

it or not, in America, an employer can fire an employee for almost any reason, or no reason whatsoever The only reason for which he/she can’t fire an employee would be “discrimination.” You can’t fire a person because of his/her race, ethnicity, religion, age etc An employer could get sued for that (taken

to court)

to keep track of – to follow, to make records of

Get off your ass! – this means, Don’t be lazy! Stop sitting, get up, and DO SOMETHING! For example,

a wife might say to her husband, “You’ve been sitting in front of the TV all weekend Get off your ass and help me clean this apartment!” This is a dirty expression only to be used with people you know or people you don’t like Come on Bloomberg, get off your ass and do something to help the poor and homeless!

a chain-smoker – someone who smokes one cigarette after another

perfunctory – if someone does something in a perfunctory way, he/she does something out of a sense

of duty and not out of a sense of passion or enthusiasm

a surrogate – a replacement, a substitute, someone who stands in for someone else

a buddy – a friend

to swipe – this is the motion that a person makes when he/she runs a card through a type of device to

register something For example, in order to get into the New York City public transportation system you have to swipe your “metrocard.”

strict – a strict teacher is a teacher who follows the rules without any exceptions and who does not

tolerate anyone doing anything against the rules A strict teacher usually uses many punishments and demands absolute obedience So basically, a strict teacher is an asshole What’s an asshole? Literally, your asshole is the hole out of which shit falls, according to the rules of gravity, into your toilet

bowl Figuratively, an asshole is a person who is an asshole

As if terrorists can’t swipe? – this is a good example of “sarcasm.” A sarcastic statement is a

statement meant to make fun of someone or something or some policy Of course terrorists can swipe –

so this statement mocks or makes fun of the policy in America which, on the surface, seems to have created strict rules against terrorists using F1 visas to harm Americans, while also allowing people to openly violate these rules

to stick around – to stay in a place for a while For example, “Sammy, why don’t you stick around after

class We are all going to chat in the cafeteria.”

to look the other way – this means that someone knows something wrong is occurring or will occur or

has occurred but they are not going to do anything about it

a theory – a theory is a guess as to why something occurs or happens

a shortage – this means a lack of something or not enough of something For instance, there is a

nursing shortage in America these days; this is why many nurses from Asia are coming to America to work

a hostess bar - this is a type of bar in Japan where businessmen go after work to drink and chat with

attractive young women The women are especially nice to the men because that's what the guys want and the girls make money by getting the guys to drink as much liquor as the guys can By the way,

"booze" is a slang term for liquor which you hear every once in a while

a slut / slutty – basically a slut is a woman who has lots of sex with lots of different guys If you are

slutty you have sex with lots of different guys That’s cool though! I’m not saying that’s wrong! If you dress slutty you dress like a woman who likes having sex with lots of guys But not all women who dress slutty are slutty In America you have the right to dress slutty without being slutty Guys are used to it

What happens in America stays in America – there is an expression: What happens in Vegas stays

in Vegas, which means that you are welcome to go the Las Vegas and do all kinds of crazy things and nobody will ever know about it

I bet – if you bet with someone you “wager” a certain amount of money that something will or won’t

happen i.e I bet you $5 that the New York Yankees will win this baseball game So if the person accepts your bet, and if the Yankees win, you will receive $5 from him If they lose, you pay him $5 To

say “I bet…” means you are pretty sure something is going to happen If it looks as if it is going to rain, you might say, "I bet it is going to rain."

to step out of your comfort zone - your "comfort zone" is your easy and safe way of doing things To

step out of your comfort zone is to take action that is a little more risky than what you are used to

an arm and a leg - means very expensive That car cost him an arm and a leg My student loans are

costing me an arm and a leg

how the hell - is often used for emphasis at the beginning of a sentence, but a stranger will be

offended if you use this with him/her It can be used with friends and family however, although it can still seem harsh How the hell would I know where Milwaukee is? How the hell did my socks get in the refrigerator!?

sex for English – I have never heard of this happening :P

a ho – a prostitute Short for “whore.”

to catch mistakes – to realize that someone has made a mistake or mistakes

pretty low – pretty usually means attractive but it can also mean “substantially” “kind of” or

“moderately.” How much does it hurt? It hurts pretty bad It was a pretty bad movie, I really didn’t like

it The book is pretty long, but worth reading

paltry – very low, a very small amount

What a fucking waste of time! – a waste of time is when time is not used productively “Fucking” can

be used as an adjective What a fucking asshole he is! What a fucking loser! What a fucking idiot! You might want to practice these expressions – you might need them here in New York City

a BA - is a Bachelors Degree You get a BA after about 4 years of university or college study You get

an MA usually after 2 years of further study You can get a PhD after a few more years of study

to gravitate to – to move toward something slowly as if being pulled by gravity

tons of work - means lots of work This is an example of hyperbole in the English language or over

exaggeration A ton weighs 2000 lbs That teacher gives tons of homework

they tend to bitch and moan - is a dirty, vulgar way to say that they are complaining or tend to

complain Tourists tend to bitch and moan about how bad the MTA is

shit - in this case means stuff

broken-ass English - just means broken English or English that is not spoken very fluently

a volunteer – someone who does not accept money for a job he/she does

not necessarily – you hear this expression relatively frequently Although he is fat, he is not

necessarily in bad health Although she is dressed slutty, she is not necessarily a slut Although he is a

Republican, he is not necessarily against Obama’s policies So "not necessarily" would mean “it doesn’t mean what it seems to mean.”

conscientious – this comes from the word “conscience” which is the little voice inside of some of us

which tells us what is right and what is wrong It is pronounced con shinsh A conscientious person is a person who really tries to do his/her best Con she en shush

If you get a tutor, tell him this is what you want – this shows that there are exceptions to the “if”

rules I stated earlier In this case we see the present tense and then the imperative mood – a command: tell him this is what you want

a controversy - is a hot issue It is an issue people are going to disagree about and which they may

argue about in a heated manner

to reinforce - means to make stronger In the field of psychology there are two types of

reinforcements: positive and negative A positive reinforcement is when you reward someone for

something “good” he/she has done and a negative reinforcement is when you punish a person for

something “bad” he/she has done If you reward a person, you will positively reinforce a certain action and the person will probably do it again

Take my advice or leave it – this is an idiom which means you are free to accept or reject my advice

Don’t bother doing s/t – don’t waste your time doing something, don’t make the effort to do

something, it is not worth it

super cheap – very, very cheap Super sometimes means very

relatively – means compared to something else, something appears to be either large or small, high or

low, loud or soft etc

brutally – brutally honest means being honest to the point or degree that a person might feel upset or

emotionally hurt To be brutal is to be cruel or harsh or especially mean

to be worth it or not worth it – any action requires an effort Some actions are “worth” the effort and

some actions should not be taken because they are not “worth” the effort i.e It would take two hours for us to travel to Philly; is such a long trip worth it? Yes, there is a lot to do in Philly so the trip will be worth it I have never been to Staten Island; would it be worth it to go there? No, there’s really nothing good in Staten Island, so it’s not worth it to go there Is it worth it to get an F1 visa just to stay in America for several months? It depends on whether the school will require you to show up for classes

Fuck them! – this means “I hate them and I don’t care what happens to them! Let’s ignore them, they

are assholes!” This is very dirty

to be pro-active – this means not to be passive, to take action, to be active

Grammar Stuff: How to use “recommend” and “suggest” correctly

Many foreign students totally use the verbs “to recommend” and “to suggest” incorrectly A student will often say: He recommended me to go to the Metropolitan Museum No! No! No! Never use an object pronoun after recommended or suggested It sounds TERRIBLE to a native English speaker Really terrible!

There are two ways to use “to recommend”: 1) He recommended the Metropolitan Museum to me Or 2) He recommended that I should go to the Metropolitan Museum

So it is: Subject + recommended + object + to + object pronoun

Or

Subject + recommended + that + object pronoun + should + infinitive verb etc

Examples: I recommended that he should try the sushi at that Japanese restaurant We suggested that they should try to get home by midnight because the bus stops running at that time

recommended that…should suggested that…should

If you just remember that recommended or suggested can always be followed by that and then should you will never go wrong He recommended that my friend should visit Northern Avenue in Flushing if

he wants to get good Korean food I recommended that he should go to the Bronx Zoo on Wednesday because it is free day there They suggested that we should avoid going to certain areas of the Bronx

because they have been neglected by city hall and are very dangerous

You can also ask: Can you please recommend a place where I can find a reasonably priced Korean restaurant? (Here “recommend” is followed by a direct object)

Would you recommend that I should eat at this restaurant? Did he recommend that you should go to the Film Forum to see the Hitchcock films?

More Grammar Stuff: Never mind! Vs Don’t worry!

Lots of foreign students make this mistake “Never mind!” is actually kind of a rude statement if not used properly Most of the time, foreigners really mean the nicer expression: “Don’t worry!”

If someone is running late and she texts you, and you text back, “Never mind!” that person, if she is a native speaker, might think you are telling her that you are upset and you should not bother coming What you need to say is, “Don’t worry! Please take your time!”

How do you use “never mind”? Very carefully Mi might tell Bob that she needs his help But by the time Bob arrives, Mi has already finished what she has been doing She can then say, “Oh, Bob, never mind I was able to finish this by myself.”

You use “Don’t worry!” when you want a person to relax You use “Never mind!” when you want a person to forget something

15 Essential vocab words – fill-in-the-blanks

a fortune, inevitable, a consolation, to resign, perfunctory, to trek, paltry, conscientious, a controversy, upscale, to reinforce, lousy, a tip, to derive, a surrogate,

Mark Twain jokingly said that only two things are really _: death and taxes Nobody in America can avoid either of them

Bob usually had a good sense of humor and was usually pretty upbeat (optimistic, happy, cheerful) He was feeling so _ because of his flu, however, that he seemed like a different and more angry person

Every person who looks at a work of abstract art (non-pictorial art) will probably a

different interpretation or meaning of the piece

Bob was so angry at the restaurant Bob thought the service had sucked and didn’t want to leave

_, but the waiter added it to the bill automatically!

It now seems to cost a to go to an American university American parents will have to begin saving more money to pay such exorbitant (high) tuition fees

Although I live in Woodside, Queens, which is pretty far from Manhattan, I like to _ into Manhattan’s Chelsea neighborhood on Thursday nights to see new art work at gallery openings

I am having a hard time determining what makes an _ restaurant and an affordable one different We went to an expensive Korean BBQ restaurant, but the food tasted like garbage, but we later went to an affordable Korean BBQ on 32nd Street and the food tasted delicious!

A bad or even average teacher just takes a approach to teaching A good or great teacher goes beyond the basics of what he/she is expected to do and does so much more

Modern medical technology is so bizarre (strange)! Loren couldn’t have a baby naturally, so doctors took

an egg from her and a sperm cell from her husband and combined them in a laboratory Then they placed an ad on craigslist.org to find a _ mother – a mother who would carry the fertilized egg until it turned into a baby They paid the substitute mother to carry the unborn child and when she gave birth, she gave the baby to Loren and her husband

Although Margaret did not get the job promotion (advancement) that she sought, her supervisor gave her an excellent job performance review, so that was some type of

Richard Nixon was the only president of the United States who was forced to from

office He was forced to leave early because of various types of political corruption that had occurred under his supervision

When picking up new vocabulary words, making flash cards and reviewing them helps because it forces a student to constantly _ what he/she has previously learned

Dan took the job as a tutor for the Asian pop group, even though he was offered a salary, because he thought it would be an interesting experience But it was a nightmare!

The death penalty remains a huge : although some argue that capital punishment

(execution) deters (frightens people away from) murder and other violent crime, statistics show that societies with the death penalty become more violent

When choosing a good staff (staff is never plural – it’s uncountable), some human resource professionals look for highly intelligent candidates, while others look for people who are very and always want to do their best and act honestly

Answers: inevitable, lousy, derive, a tip, fortune, trek, upscale, perfunctory, surrogate, consolation, resign, reinforce, paltry, controversy, conscientious

2 An important tomb at an urban crossroads

One day I stumbled across history I was just wandering around lower Manhattan and came to one of the most beautiful churches in New York City: Trinity Church Around the church is a cemetery - a really old cemetery, or at least old for an American city There were graves with tombstones from the

1600s and 1700s there While wandering through this area I saw a name that I recognized: Alexander Hamilton Yeah, the guy on the American $10 bill I went home and did some research and I was

blown away by what I learned Basically, I learned an amazing story and now the tomb of Alexander

Hamilton is one of my favorite places in New York City Let me tell you about it

The tomb of Alexander Hamilton is located in the cemetery of Trinity Church in lower Manhattan In

order to experience the full effect of this historical monument, you need to think of the tomb in its larger urban and neighborhood context It is not so much the tomb itself that can make you pause

in wonder, but the combination of such a humble structure, for such a great American, located in a relatively ancient cemetery in bustling Lower Manhattan, near the World Trade Center site, Wall Street

and next to Trinity Church The combination of these factors makes this a monument that can

stimulate immense reflection on history, economics, politics, New York City, fate and, of course, one’s own human mortality

Basically Hamilton was the guy who came up with the idea of The United States of America I’m serious Yes, this guy was huge Really huge Hey, they don't just put anyone on the $10 bill over here After

The Revolutionary War, in which the original 13 American colonies/states forced England to grant

them independence, not many people felt that forming one country was that important Hamilton, however, worked hard to convince all 13 states that they needed to form one nation, with a capitol in

Washington D.C., and he established a banking system that would help business and industry to

flourish Basically, this was the guy who gave the USA its economic blueprint - he was the visionary

behind the United States Without his efforts, who knows what would have happened after the

revolution So this guy was huge He was right up there with Washington, Jefferson, Franklin maybe he was more important than all of them Some historians think he was more important than all these guys

He never became president only because he was born outside of the United States – in Jamaica

Why, then, is he so obscure? Because of the way he died It's like the USA has to cover up its

greatest visionary because of the huge scandal in which he was involved Essentially, in 1804, the Vice President of the United States, Aaron Burr, shot Hamilton in a duel That's right, Hamilton was shot

(with a gun) by the Vice President of the USA Burr was the Vice President to President Thomas

Jefferson and Jefferson and Hamilton HATED each other Basically Jefferson believed the USA should stay agricultural - a farming nation - and that each state should be stronger than the central (or federal) government Jefferson liked ancient history and believed the USA should try to become like ancient Rome Hamilton looked to the future and Hamilton believed in one strong central government, big,

exciting cities and the development of industry and commerce The controversy between Hamilton and

Jefferson led to this duel

So one fine morning, in New Jersey, Hamilton and Burr stood a certain number of feet away from each other, each man had a gun, and each man was to shoot at the other because of the hatred that had

been generated between them because of their differing ideologies There was one problem Before the duel Hamilton decided that he was too moral to shoot at Burr So when it came time for shots to be fired, Hamilton deliberately fired his bullet (from his gun) over Burr's head Burr misinterpreted this gesture and fired directly at Hamilton, killing him Hamilton was killed and Burr's life was ruined He

had to leave the world of politics and, believe it or not, he moved to the western part of the continent (the continent of North America – there are seven continents) and tried to set up (establish) his own country! Nobody wanted to live in Burr's new country, however

Hamilton is buried in the cemetery at Trinity Church Trinity is located at the intersection of Broadway

and Wall Street and is one of the most historic and beautiful churches in the city Indeed, until 1908,

the spire of Trinity Church was the tallest structure in the entire city The church is a rich, chocolate, dark brown color with ornate and complex stained glass windows The church is in contrast to the drab

gray of the surrounding buildings, with their numerous clear windows rising one row after the other until

a flat roof The church’s huge spire reaching and diminishing toward the heavens contradicts the square symmetry of the neighborhood It is a building out of place and out of time Indeed, Trinity was built before Wall Street became the banking capitol of the world Trinity represents a pre-venture capital (before venture capital) New York City Trinity represents New York City before it got crazy rich

I can still remember the first time I came across the cemetery next to the church It was unbelievable to

me that a cemetery with graves from the 1600s would be located in the middle of the Wall Street

area The cemetery is, however, beautiful! Each spring flowers blossom and the grass is

immaculately mowed In winter the cemetery looks dignified, stark, magnificent It is a significant presence, drawing one’s attention as one races toward his/her job or to a nearby store I have always

loved seeing the lunch-time crowd sitting and eating their lunches on benches in the cemetery among the

power-brokers of the 1600s and 1700s!

The gravestones (these include the name, date-of-birth and date-of-death of the person buried) are

clearly ancient, some are tipped over, some are cracked Some have strange, eerie skulls with angel

wings on them I am always hit (affected) by the reality of their lives You begin to realize that this is

history but that this is also personal: these were vital, living, compassionate, proud and successful

New Yorkers I often calculate how long each person lived and feel sad for those who died young As

one follows a winding path, one sees a progression of such gravestones from the 1600s to the early

1800s

Among these graves one suddenly comes to an odd white structure, somewhat pyramidal, somewhat square If you look closely, you might see flowers or coins or other knickknacks that people have

placed on the structure I suppose that many people are surprised to see the name Alexander

Hamilton Some might even realize he is on the $10 bill Some really good observers might even notice that his wife’s grave and his son’s grave are also close by

What is absolutely striking to me is that Hamilton was huge in American history, and his tomb is not

even in the center of the cemetery In fact, there are nicer tombs, grander (larger, more magnificent)

tombs in the cemetery Dominating the cemetery, in fact, is a giant green statue of some type of judge

who simply could not have done anything near what Hamilton did in the formation of the United States

The location of Hamilton’s tomb, to me, however, has always been highly symbolic In fact, burying Hamilton at the intersection of Broadway (the main artery of Manhattan) and Wall Street (the hub of the financial world) always seemed especially fitting to me because Hamilton was one of the key figures

involved in the economic and social development of both New York City and the United States New York

City has literally grown and developed around his nearly anonymous tomb But the relative anonymity

of his tomb, it’s location in the cemetery, it’s shape, all this seems fitting

Why? Hamilton was an American who loved his country more than anything and he lies at the center of

the world’s economy: secure, not ostentatious Hamilton lies here in humility - clearly, his tomb attracts attention, but it is not gaudy like that of the green judge – almost as if declaring that the experiment he helped to launch was destined to succeed, and that he was just one of the many now

obscure heroes who acted from pure love and who requires no great thanks or praise

Definitions of terms

a tomb – This word is pronounced: toom This is a structure, usually made of concrete or stone, in

which a corpse (a dead body) is laid in a cemetery It is usually, if not always, above ground A

cemetery is a place where there are many graves and tombs A grave is usually a hole which has been dug into the ground, into which a coffin is placed and then covered with dirt A coffin is usually a

wooden box in which a dead body is placed If a person chooses to have his body burned instead of

buried, that process is called cremation To bury a body is to put it in a coffin and then to place it in a

grave in a cemetery

urban – the opposite of rural An urban environment is a city environment

a crossroads – literally a place where two major roads cross: figuratively or symbolically a crossroads is

a place in one’s life when one must make critical decisions about one’s future

to stumble across – to find accidentally To stumble literally means to nearly trip (fall) while you are

walking

a cemetery – this is a place where the dead are buried; the area into which many dead bodies are

placed in the ground (six feet underground to be exact - about 2 meters)

a grave – is an individual place in a cemetery where a dead body is placed A grave is 6 feet deep

a tombstone or gravestone – this is the stone that is placed above a grave to give the dead person’s

name and birth date and date of death

to be blown away – means to be really surprised and impressed

a monument - is a type of structure, often in stone, meant to represent an achievement or a person

who achieved something

neighborhood – students seem to confuse neighborhood with neighbor A neighbor is someone who

lives close to you A neighborhood is the area in which you live In New York City, SoHo is a

neighborhood, Chelsea is a neighborhood, Chinatown is a neighborhood etc

the context – the context of any situation would be the factors making up that situation within which

you would find details Sometimes it is easy to understand the meaning of a word by looking at its context

to pause – to temporarily stop

humble – the opposite of arrogant A humble person does not act as if he/she is special or great, even

if he/she is special or great

ancient – very old

bustling – very busy with activity

to stimulate – to cause, to activate, to provoke

a reflection – a prolonged or sustained amount of thought about something

fate – what has been determined for a person by a higher power or God Fate is usually something bad while destiny is usually something good

mortality – the fact that we are all going to die some day The limited condition of our lives Some religious people believe that after death we will experience immortality Ha ha ha Who knows?!

The Revolutionary War – This war was fought from about 1775 to about 1781 Basically England had

colonized North America and was trying to use the colonies to make money The colonization had begun

in 1608 and by 1775 many people in these colonies felt that they were different from people in England They demanded more rights and especially opposed being taxed by England to support a mother country

in which they had no political power or representation It was a miracle that the people in America won the war, because England had the most powerful military in the world at that time It helped that France, Spain and Holland helped the Americans, as well as other European individuals who believed in freedom

to grant someone something – to give someone something

to flourish – to do extraordinarily well, to spread, to prosper

a blueprint – before any building can be built there should be blueprints of what the building will look

like to guide the builders So a blueprint for anything is a design to be followed to create something

a visionary – someone who can form a vision of a future development or situation

obscure – not well known

to cover something up – to hide something, to make sure nobody learns about something

a scandal – the results of a negative situation when people begin spreading news or rumors of the

negative situation When a politician is caught cheating on his wife, that leads to a big scandal in the newspapers

Vice President – As well as the president of the United States there is a Vice President Basically his job

is easy He is there to take over the job if the president dies or gets killed

a duel – this was when two men would take guns, stand a certain distance away from each other and

then shoot at each other upon some signal A duel was usually the result of some insult or offense

commerce – business

an ideology – a belief system concerning some aspect of behavior or social life

to be moral – to be good, to be conscientious, to be concerned with doing good things

deliberately – not accidentally, something chosen to be done

a gesture – a movement, usually of the hand and arm but more broadly any action meant to signal

something to another person

to ruin s/t– to destroy something, to mess up something, to screw up something

to be buried – to be placed in the ground and covered with dirt

an intersection – the place where two roads or streets cross

the spire – this is the part of the church that stands out the most – it is usually quite long and usually

diminishes to a point at the very tip There is often a crucifix (+) at the top of a spire

ornate – fancy, detailed

drab – plain, boring, gray

diminishing – slowly disappearing After I took the aspirin my backache slowly diminished to nothing symmetrical – having equal proportions on both sides

out of place, out of time - the building doesn't seem to belong where it is or at this current time; the

building looks different from what surrounds it and it seems to belong to a different era

venture capitalism – an aspect of capitalism in which money is provided for a project based on the

guess (venture) that the project will make lots of money Capital means money

to blossom – to bloom, to develop, to reach fruition, full development

immaculate – pure, clean, white

to mow – to cut grass

stark – plain, bleak, having no details, standing out

as one races – as one runs

a power-broker – one who makes important decisions, one who decides significant issues

to tip over – to push something so that it is not upright but not completely fallen over

eerie – creepy, scary, sinister

vital – full of life

compassionate – capable of feeling sadness or sorrow for others, having a fellow feeling for others winding – not straight, curving This word has a long “i” sound Weyeding

odd – strange

pyramidal – shaped like a pyramid, those huge things in Egypt in which dead pharaohs were placed

a knickknack – a little thing, maybe a souvenir

striking – something is striking if it stands out, really noticeable

a judge – this is a person who works for the state and who sits in a courtroom and hears legal cases

He might determine whether a person is “guilty” or “not guilty” or he might determine whether one person owes another person money

symbolic – if a thing is symbolic, it represents a higher idea or ideal A tree can symbolize a type of

bridge between the earth and God A horse can symbolize the concept of inner movement or transition

an artery – this is something connected to the heart that takes blood away from the heart; figuratively it

can mean a road or river or canal or anything that carries many people or things

a hub – an area that attracts a lot of people or traffic, a place that draws much activity

humility – the personal quality of being simple, not arrogant, acting as if one is simple even if one is

special or great

gaudy – showy, flashy, ostentatious

to launch s/t – to get something started, to begin something

Grammar stuff: tell vs say

The distinction between these two verbs really seems to drive foreign students nuts Nuts means

crazy Nobody knows how nuts came to mean crazy The difference between “to tell” and “to say” is so

easy however And, you can often use these words interchangeably He told me that I should go to the Met Museum He said that I should go to the Met Museum Do you see one of the big differences

between how these verbs are used?

You use “tell” when you can follow it with an object pronoun or other object Tell me the latest news from Hong Kong! Can you please tell me where the nearest bathroom is? I tried to tell her that going

to that neighborhood might be dangerous

“To say” does not take this direct object pronoun What did he say about coming to Philadelphia tomorrow? I remember that you once said to me that you were born in Berlin You can also say: You once told me that you were born in Berlin He said that Bob was coming along with us for the ride

Often times you’ll use “say” when you are quoting or kind of quoting someone A quote is something like this: Bob said, “I will go on vacation soon.” A quote is surrounded by quotation marks Did you once say that Bob is gay? I want to know what she said about me But you could also have said, Did you once tell me that Bob is gay? I want to know what she told you about me

By the way, “tell” can also mean "determine" or “see.” This is very confusing for foreign students I can tell that it is raining outside because you came in all wet I could tell that he was angry because he was not smiling as usual I think I have a few gray hairs, can you tell? I can tell that you are in a good mood today Practice a little! Please

11 essential vocab words Fill-in-the-blanks

to stumble, a cemetery, humble, to stimulate, fate, mortality, to flourish, obscure, a scandal, commerce, moral

Very few tourists expect to find an ancient _ in lower Manhattan – an area known for its liveliness

It is almost every immigrant’s dream to come to America, start a family and to _

economically so that one’s children can receive an American education

Macbeth, by Shakespeare, is, in part, a play about ; do we have free will and can we shape our futures or are our futures determined ahead of time as Macbeth’s seemed to be?

Because there is such a large crack in the sidewalk many people are tripping over it and

I am afraid that someone will fall and hurt himself

When normal, everyday people meet celebrities they are often surprised by how _ they are They often expect to meet difficult and arrogant “stars” or “divas.”

Researchers have determined that it is essential to _ a baby’s senses, mind and curiosity from the very start in order to ensure (make sure) that the child will develop a sharp intellect

The presence of the cemetery near Wall Street should stimulate even the greedy and aggressive bankers

to think about their own _ and whether the lives they have chosen are as meaningful as they could be

Even though Alexander Hamilton remains to most Americans, historians consider him to be one of the most important of America’s founding fathers

Does a politician need to be _? Although Bill Clinton certainly violated many ethical principles as president, many people still think he did a good job

One group of economists believes that the USA can best change the world and spread democratic values through _ They point out that when a country develops a strong business class, it tends

to become more democratic

Recent New York State Governors seem to have suffered from many strange One involved Governor Spitzer, who was paying to have sex with prostitutes, while another involved his successor, Governor Patterson, who seems to have tried to cover up illegal activity among his staff

Answers: cemetery, flourish, fate, stumbling, humble, stimulate, mortality, obscure, moral, commerce, scandals,

11 more essential vocab words from this chapter

deliberately, to ruin, drab, to diminish, immaculate, vital, compassionate, a knickknack, a hub, anonymous, to launch

One of the most _ or lively neighborhoods of New York City is Flushing, Queens There are numerous Korean and Chinese markets and the streets are often crowded with people who are out shopping

Many young and talented actors come to New York City in order to try to an acting career, but many find that there are only so many opportunities available and many talented actors will never achieve stardom (celebrity status)

Although the fat man did not _ bump into Bob on the subway, Bob was still offended and felt that the fat guy should have been more careful

We all expected to have a good time at the annual (yearly) Halloween parade, but the whole event was _ by the rain; nobody had a good time

The director of the charitable organization was so grateful to receive an _ donation of

$50,000 Although he didn’t know who the donor was, he wished that good things might happen for that person

Even though this winter had been especially cold and wet, it did not _the amount of joy and pleasure that Jeongyon had: she tried to do something new every day she was here and had a

memorable time

Times Square remains the of Manhattan; virtually every tourist wants to go there and even New Yorkers find themselves attracted to this area at times

Although the tomb of Alexander Hamilton seems _ and unremarkable, it contains the remains

of one of the greatest Americans ever

There are a number of 99 stores (ninety-nine cent stores) in Manhattan where you can buy all kinds of _: from souvenir cups, to toiletries, to various items that might be needed by a tourist

No politician seems to have an _ reputation in New York City or State; every elected official seems to be less than pure

I was surprised to see a church in the Bronx which is run by the nuns (women in the Catholic Church who serve a religious function) who follow the teachings and life of Mother Teresa This church stands as a presence in a part of New York City where the government does not seem to show much concern for the people

Answers: vital, launch, deliberately, ruined, anonymous, diminish, hub, drab, knick-knacks, immaculate, compassionate

3 Bed bugs: sneaky, blood-sucking creatures of the night

I woke up one morning and I was itching like a maniac I looked down at my arms and legs and there were several little red bumps that looked like mosquito bites Man! I hate mosquitoes The only

problem? I had slept the night before with my windows closed How the hell could mosquitoes have gotten into my room?

So my host family gave me some hydrocortizone for the itching and I shrugged it off

A couple mornings later, however, there were more red marks that looked like mosquito bites! So I started wearing long sleeve shirts to bed and long pants and I kept keeping my window closed But every couple of days there would be fresh bite marks!

So I was sitting at a cafe with my language exchange partner and he saw some of the marks on my arms and said: “Oh, oh You got bed bugs.” Just by looking at the bite marks he knew what they were I was almost afraid to ask what a bed bug is, because I could imagine what a bed bug might be, but I asked:

“What’s a bed bug?”

Well, essentially, these are teeney weeney little insects that are kind of heart-shaped and

reddish-brown They can grow to about 2 to 3 millimeters They live off of human blood! That’s right folks, they

are disgusting little vampire-like creatures that exist solely on human blood God damn them!

Apparently they are very flat-shaped and can hide easily, sometimes in the seams on a bed, sometimes between the mattress and the springs, sometimes in between the folds of a blanket etc These things are all over New York City People have sued hotels because of these creatures – using a high- level word again, they are freaking UBIQUITOUS! (“Freaking” is a nice word to take the place of the

word “fucking.”)

Here’s how they operate: These lazy little fuckers just lie around in various crevices or seams until about an hour before dawn I guess it turns out that, on the average, this is the time when most people

sleep the deepest This is one reason why you don’t wake up when they start crawling on you

They have two sharp tubes that they stick into your skin These freaking things are clever One tube

shoots a substance into your blood that stops your blood from drying (an anti-coagulant) Your blood has a tendency to dry when it is exposed to the air, so this anti-coagulant allows this freaking bug to drink up as much of your blood as he/she wants to Mosquitoes do the same thing That first bed bug tube also shoots in a substance, at the same time, which works as a pain-killer (an analgesic) So this is why you don’t feel pain while it’s sucking blood The other tube, of course, is used to suck your blood

Rotten, lousy devious creatures!

Another problem: they can go about a year without eating So if you have them, they are like little insect

terrorist cells just hanging out and waiting to attack So you have to be like George Bush and you have

to get rough with the little fuckers If you find a bed bug, show no mercy to these things! If you find

a bed bug, squish it Squish the goddamn thing as if your life depended on it!

But don’t worry Amazingly, these little fuckers don’t spread any diseases Nobody knows

why Theoretically they should be spreading all kinds of diseases all over the place But no, nada,

nothing It seems they eat when they need to molt (shed their skin to grow larger) but, as I wrote, if

they have to they can lie dormant for up to a year So that’s why you have to pretty much take your fucking bed apart and spray every goddamn nook and cranny with a special type of insecticide called:

bed bug buster

Also, I am pretty sure that something called Boric Acid works as well Because there are so many

cockroaches in New York City, Boric Acid is sold in many 99 cent shops for $1 It comes in a container

that looks like a yellow ketchup bottle and it is a type of powder In another apartment where I lived I found some bedbugs and just squirted this powder all over the place and pretty soon they were all gone Boric Acid causes the insect to dehydrate (the insect loses water from inside its body) Basically Boric Acid kills any type of bug If a bug walks through it, the laws of physics take over and the bug dies of dehydration Boric Acid is not an insecticide In another chapter I write about how I did a lot of

volunteer work at a homeless shelter (a place to help homeless people) and that place had roaches

After I bought and spread Boric Acid around, however, the roaches disappeared

Back to my story though So Bob my language exchange partner told me I had bedbugs and he told me

to go home and look for them As soon as I picked the mattress up from the springs I could see them

just lying there And, I don’t want to gross you out, but they shit all over the place You see the

goddamn bugs and then you see their little traces of brown bug shit lying around them When my host

family saw the bugs and the bug shit they just decided to trash the entire bed and springs In fact, it

turned out that more than one bed in the house had these things and so they trashed a couple bed

sets Then they totally fumigated each room with a strong insecticide I spent one night sleeping at a

friend’s house so that this could be done We didn’t know about Boric Acid at that time I would say, forget about fumigation, just spread Boric Acid around

Now, thankfully, I can sleep more comfortably, but I often wonder whether I’ll wake up with those marks again I once knew a lady who literally moved from one place to another because she was being bitten terribly by bed bugs She and I were close enough friends that she literally showed me her butt cheeks (your butt is what you sit on…your butt has two cheeks, just as your face has two cheeks)

She had little red marks all over her ass! Maybe 20 marks on each butt cheek And she had a nice round, firm ass too! But it looked disgusting with all the red marks on it So I went to a department store and bought “cocoa butter” because I had heard that cocoa butter cream helps get rid of

blemishes and other skin problems She then begged me to rub the cocoa butter into the skin of her

ass She told me she couldn’t have sex with any guys until these marks disappeared and she was

starting to get horny OMG! What else could I do?! So I gave her a good cocoa butter ass massage to

try to help her get rid of the bed bug marks! Maybe she just liked people rubbing her ass! I don’t know! But, in any case, I also bought her some Boric Acid so I wouldn’t have to rub her ass in the future

blood-sucking – the process of removing blood through a type of suction activity You suck things with

your mouth Bed bugs have a type of needle that they use to suck blood from humans

a creature – some type of animal – whether it is an insect, reptile, mammal etc

like a maniac – if a person suffers from manic depression, he/she feels very happy or euphoric

(extremely happy) during the mania phase and extremely down or sad during the depressive stage A maniac is a person suffering from mania So if you do something like a maniac you do it with an

extraordinary passion To do something like a maniac usually means to do something aggressively and against your will

a mosquito – a type of flying insect that sucks blood from humans and animals You see these insects

a lot in the summer They often spread diseases like malaria God damn them!

hydrocortisone – this is a type of medication that comes in a lotion or salve form If you rub this on a

mosquito bite or other area that itches, the itch usually diminishes or goes away completely

I shrugged it off – to shrug is to lift your shoulders up and down In America to shrug means “I don’t

know” or “I don’t care.” To shrug something off means to stop worrying about something

teeney weeney – really really small

a vampire – a blood-sucking undead human being in myth and legend and among various New York

City roommates you might encounter Joking Actually most vampires in New York are landlords (building owners who charge rent)

God damn them! God damn it! – very useful curse words If you are angry about something, let’s

say you just missed your subway, you might say, “God damn it!” If you are angry at a person you might say (to another person) “God damn him!” I loaned Bob my umbrella and he broke it, God damn him!” Literally this means that you hope God will send Bob to hell after he dies

a seam – this is a crease in a bed; an area between pieces of the material of the bed If you look at

your shirt, you’ll see seams that connect the sleeve to the body of the shirt Any area where sewing has

to occur and where a little fold might be created I’m sorry if this definition sucks You need to know

what a seam is, however, because we sometimes use the word seamless If something happens

seamlessly, it happens smoothly or easily In America there is usually a seamless transition (movement) from one president to another

a mattress/ springs – bedding in America usually consists of springs and a mattress The springs are

often literally a type of rectangular structure made of metal springs which is held above the floor by a metal structure The mattress or soft part that you sleep on is placed on the springs

to sue someone – this is when you hire a lawyer and take another person to court in order to try to win

money from the other person So people have sued hotels because they claim the hotels should have done a better job of making sure there were no bed bugs

ubiquitous – everywhere This comes from a Latin word

a crevice – this is a little gap or a little opening, usually longer than wider

the dawn – when the sun begins to rise; the opposite is dusk, when the sun begins to fall

clever – smart, crafty, skillful and creative

devious – not straight-forward, sneaky, deceptive

a terrorist cell – a small group of terrorists who live in the same city and associate with each

other They live as if they are normal, average members of a society until they receive their orders to kill

to get rough with someone – to become violent with the person

little fuckers – this is an insulting term Yes “fucker” can be used as a noun i.e I can’t stand that

ignorant fucker! What a lousy fucker he was – he stole my seat on the bus The challenge for the visitor

to America is to learn how to use the various usages of fuck, fucking, fucker etc To fuck is a verb So

if you are reading pornography you’ll see this verb a lot Amy fucked five men last summer Bob fucked

7 women while he was at college So it can be used to indicate sexual intercourse engaged in by either a

man or a woman Fucking is an adjective – that fucking idiot! I’m so glad Suzy wrote a good ESL book

because those other fucking books can be so boring!

to squish something – to push on something until it is crushed If you squish a bug underneath your

foot you should see the insides of the bug come exploding outwards!

nada – the Spanish word for nothing

to be dormant – to be sleeping or to be inactive temporarily When people catch AIDs, the virus is

usually dormant for a number of years before it becomes active and kills a person

a nook and cranny – any type of crevice; or small, longish opening

an insecticide – a spray or liquid or powder used to kill bugs and insects

a cockroach – you might have to do a web search to see what this type of insect looks like It’s a very

common bug in American cities It’s brown and has antennae and is pretty creepy looking If something

is creepy it kind of makes you feel scared and disgusted

to gross you out – to make you feel sick by showing or telling you something disgusting

to trash something – to destroy something or throw it out

to fumigate – to spread fumes from a spray or smoke throughout an area

a blemish – this is anything like a pimple or other mark (other than a birth mark or mole) that can be

seen on your skin Usually a blemish is pinkish or red

to beg someone to do something – to ask someone to do you a favor as an act of mercy or charity

to be horny – to desperately want to have sex

Grammar Stuff: should vs have to

Oh my God! This drives me crazy There is such a huge difference between “should” and “have to” that

I honestly don’t know why so many foreign students in America make mistakes using these terms

If you should do something, it would be a good idea to do something, or it would be right to do

something If you really have no choice in the matter, then you have to do something

He did not know whether he should stay in New York City longer or travel around the country

In America every citizen should vote in every political election but in Australia every citizen has to vote

in every election or he/she will be punished

I have to go back to my language school by Thursday if I want to fill out my transfer papers

I should have gone to sleep earlier last night because I am so tired now (It would have been a good

idea to do that.)

They have to take the number 1 train if they want to get off at the Canal Street stop

A young person should make every effort to take advantage of every learning activity in school

10 essential vocab words

Sneaky, to shrug, teeney weeney, ubiquitous, devious, to squish, dormant, to fumigate, a blemish, horny

Back home in Seoul, Minjung had a spacious (large, lots of space) apartment, but for more money her studio in New York was - it was almost like a large closet (space in a room where clothes are hung)!

Ivanne felt like a real New Yorker when she was able to her first cockroach (a ugly brown type of insect that crawls on the floor at night) under her high-heeled shoe

Every subway rider should be aware of pickpockets (criminals who try to steal wallets on crowded

subways) who are quite _ and able to remove wallets without men being aware of this

Naoko thought that Peter had really loved her, but he turned out to just be a _ guy who tries to go out with and have sex with as many women as he can

After a recent subway bombing in Europe, the police seemed in New York City – you saw them virtually everywhere

People are so used to the bad service provided by the MTA (the subway system) that all they do is _ when it becomes apparent that a train will be late or delayed

Many upscale hotels in New York City have been forced to many of their rooms in an attempt to eliminate the rooms of bedbugs

The HIV-AIDS virus is especially sneaky because it remains for many years, so that a person does not usually even know that he/she has it

The guys who sell the bagels and pretzels and hotdogs on street corners in Manhattan can be quite _; if they think that you are a tourist, they will try to charge you more than they will a New Yorker