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The best brands are based on the true stories and authentic ex-periences that only you have had.. When we buildpersonal brands on our true stories, we get the best results, both per-sona

and your world Whether you’re an individual or a corporation, youmust make this connection And nothing connects like the truth It isthe only thing that we can all relate to and accept.

The corporate world is learning the hard way that building afalse image is not the right way to create a brand Big corporate im-ages that were previously hot have suddenly gone up in flames Suchworld-class corporate logos as Enron and WorldCom are now remem-bered as En-Wrong and World-Con Organizations spent too muchmoney rolling out images with splashy logos and seductive ad cam-paigns that required us to have the sleuthing powers of Columbo.And, like Columbo, we discovered that they were lying

For years, the practice of corporate branding has been used tocreate a lasting image and to demonstrate power and size Corpora-tions and organizations create designs for hot-air balloons, parades,credit cards, and clothing And individuals wear the sweatshirt, usethe credit card, and wave the flag to become associated with the im-ages or to try to become what they promise But is that what brandingis—logos and merchandise and new corporate profit centers?

Forget about the image Branding is not based on mere ance The best brands are based on the true stories and authentic ex-periences that only you have had Behold who you truly are andbecome what you see; that’s your brand Branding is not a logo or amusical jingle Branding is about influence And there is nothingmore influential than the truth

appear-What does this have to do with you? You may not believe it yet,but you have a story of your own that is true and powerful and thefoundation for your success It’s your powerful brand identity

The concept of a brand being based on truth is an idea whosetime has truly come There is a connection between the corporatebrand and the personal brand, a connection that has never beenstronger, tighter, or closer That connection is truth When we buildpersonal brands on our true stories, we get the best results, both per-sonally and professionally Best of all, we have respect for ourselves,which gives us a sense of value and importance that will affect every-thing we do for the rest of our lives

True Stories Can’t Be Copied

We love true stories, don’t we? We can’t help reading the juicy headlineswhile waiting in line at the store We love to hear what Paul Harvey calls

“the rest of the story.” Television is filled with reality TV, where ences tune in to see what really happens, live and unrehearsed Bi-ographies and autobiographies are best-sellers We love true stories,especially when they relate experiences of uncompromised success,overcoming of obstacles, and beating the odds.

audi-Everyone has a true story of his or her own Our stories, whichare our experiences, shape our values for life And when you learn toput words to your unique story, you can use it and the values you’vedeveloped to define you in a way that no one can copy When youbuild your brand identity on your true experiences, you will bring tothe world the only thing that no one else can

More than what you look like or what you do, or even the giftsand talents you possess, you have something that no one else cancompete with or build success on You have had experiences that noone else has had To the extent that a brand must be unique and spe-cial to influence behavior, you’ve got it You’ve got a brand that will

be as special and influential as Oprah or Steven Spielberg You’ve got arelated corporate brand as promising as Harpo Productions andDreamworks Like them, you can build your brand on the true stories

of your personal experiences that only you can share

Too many brands start at the wrong end of the equation Theydecide who or what they want to be and then set out to become justthat This is a book about building your brand by starting from theother end of that equation In fact, at the outset, I ask you to consider

that the end result of building your brand identity is the second thing

you consider, not the first

Take a moment and take the pressure off yourself Trust in thisprocess and you will discover who you are meant to become based onwho has been uniquely created Remember, only after you define whoyou are can you consider what you want to become Start figuring outwho you really are When you know who you are you can figure outwho you want to become You’ll know what you’re made of and seewhat you’re capable of See Believe Go for it

You have your very own individual brand identity Whether youare 18 years old and leaving home, a middle manager seeking ad-vancement, a retiree entering a new stage of your life, or somewhere

in between, you are dependent on having a strong, powerful brandidentity that gets you the right kind of attention for the right kind ofresults you have dreamed of

If you are a Fortune 500 CEO and want to set yourself apart, be

more memorable, and build loyalty, you need a better kind of brand

in order to compete If you are at a turning point in your life and ing stock of your life’s ups and downs, you need to take control ofyour personal brand identity In a world in which we wear other peo-ple’s brands as easily as pulling a sweatshirt over our heads, we forgetthat we have our own special, unique fingerprint that creates an iden-tity to build and value

tak-Unlock Your Identity and Lock onto Your Brand

Inside all of us are things that should be uncovered, polished, and fined for the world to see And these things should not just be seenbut should be shown off in a way that tells the world we are valuable.These things are our essence They are our treasures Let me say rightnow that these things are the very things that we typically hide Wekeep this stuff hidden or buried We masquerade and pretend to bewhat we are not, because we’re afraid that if our real identity is dis-covered, no one will like us or we will fail Worse yet, we’re afraid wewon’t like ourselves

re-In 1960 a high school boy named Frank Abagnale ran awayfrom home when his parents divorced He vowed to reunite them byregaining what his dad had lost in business With only $25 in hischecking account he became an expert at pretending to be whoever

he thought would live up to his dad’s expectations Along the way

he masqueraded as a pilot, a pediatrician, and an attorney StevenSpielberg, Tom Hanks, and Leonardo DiCaprio captured this story in

a 2002 blockbuster movie about a boy who wouldn’t live his own

life It was called Catch Me If You Can He, like many of us, lived a

se-ries of other people’s lives because he was afraid that his true selfwasn’t adequate

Every day we read about people who have been pretending to besomeone they are not We find out that they have falsified their col-lege records and created diplomas on their home graphic design com-puter programs Prisons are full of people who have masqueraded asmedical doctors or other professionals because assuming that illegalidentity seemed less risky than being who they really were meant to

be They were afraid that no one would like them or give them asmuch attention if they built their future on just being themselves

In 2003 a New York Times reporter, Jayson Blair, resigned in shame

for faking stories and quotes and plagiarizing other publications to

make it appear that the stories were his He wanted to be the reporter

he thought he should be, and he copied and even fabricated stories toaccomplish this goal

It is risky to base our future or the future of our company on selves If our plans don’t meet our hopes and dreams, then we have

our-no one else to hold responsible But if we do develop and expandfrom our unique and rare characteristics, then we have the ultimateadvantage in life We’ve got a monopoly on unique resources and thenatural ability to influence and shape the world No one has access tothe experiences you’ve had like you do The way you show the worldyour true story is the way your glory is revealed

My husband and I recently saw the smash Broadway musical The Producers, with Tony award winners Matthew Broderick and Nathan

Lane While we sat in our expensive orchestra seats I was captivated

by the story In the musical, we meet a frightened and risk-adverse countant named Leo Bloom (played by Broderick) Leo is afraid ofeverything He needs to have the safety of a predictable life or, he be-lieves, he’ll cease to exist

ac-One of his clients is a renowned but unscrupulous Broadwayshow producer named Max Bialystock (Nathan Lane) Max tries to getLeo to join him in a wily get-rich scheme Leo is horrified and returns

to his boring accounting office, where he realizes he is miserable insuch an uninteresting and tedious routine He sings a song we can allrelate to, repeating the words, “I wanna be ” He soon rushes back

to Max and shouts, “I’ll do it I’ll join you in this scheme I want to be

a producer, too!” This comes as a complete surprise to the audience,

as well as to Max, who exclaims, “Leo, there’s more to you than there

is to you!”

What does that mean? It is simple Despite what we all look like

on the outside, there is more to us on the inside waiting to come out.When our whole self is summed up and brought into focus, we realizethat “There is more to me than there is to me.” This means that what

we are on the inside should be drawn out and be seen, heard, and felt.All that we are, deep inside, should surface in such a way that it is in-corporated through our entire existence I can say this because I be-lieve that deep down inside we are all created good and pure andworthy of sharing I agree with Stan Mitchell, minister and nationalspeaker extraordinaire, who spoke and counseled us with these wisewords: “There exists the worst in the best of us and the best in theworst of us, and we’re better off not trying to figure out who’s in

which group.”2 The whole of you is indeed greater than the value of

all your individual parts In the case of you, parts are not just parts.

Lest we have too much pride in ourselves, who we are now andwho we become in the future is merely an inevitable extension ofwho we have always been Whether we believe in God, a higherpower, and evolution, we can acknowledge that we didn’t start fromnothing! We had nothing to do with our own original creation Weare each inherently unique from the outset because each of us is aone-and-only, genuine, original creation There are no duplicates.Everything else on this earth can be copied and imitated, evencloned You are the only one who has experienced your life and can

share the values you’ve formed There is only one you Don’t forget it.

You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part

You will make me to know wisdom.

—Psalm 51:6 (New King James Version)

Branding Is All about Stories and Storytelling

As I just said, branding is all about stories and storytelling I’m ing my story, which is the basis for my personal and professionalbrand, because I want to stir up your memories of your own life Asyou read about how I grew up, how I got through school, and the var-ious jobs I worked at, I want you to think about the same stages inyour life

shar-As you read about some of the difficulties in my life and thewonderful times I’ve had, I want you to think about similar eventsyou’ve been through Follow along and compare your experienceswith mine Think about your hopes and values as you read along Be-cause as you do, you’ll lay the foundation for developing your per-sonal brand identity and improving the quality of your life

Once upon a time a small girl grew up with many sisters and twoloving parents She became very successful in the eyes of the world,with professional position, status, and the associated power, money,prestige A scientist, publisher, founder of one of America’s best chil-dren’s book companies, author, model, and television personality,with awards and acclaim, she had reached the top Described by themedia as “a real live wonder woman,”3 Chris Hilicki had a great lifeand a great personal brand Or so it seemed

As with most people and organizations, what the world sees is

usually not the whole story And the first lesson in building brands isthat how we seem on the outside is often very different than who weare on the inside.

To a publisher, the word story is an important word My story,

like yours, has taken a lot of turns and twists The plot has been plicated and it has gone from fairy tale to horror novel to action ad-venture My story may not sound too different from yours, yet storiesare all different, and that is what enables us all to build better, dis-tinct, and authentic brands

com-I share my story here as an example of how to use your story asthe foundation of your brand that can never be copied Follow alongand think about your true story Ask yourself as you read:

• What were the life-changing events in my life?

• What are some things in my life that occur over and over?

• What are the most important values in my life, and where did theycome from?

I was raised in a middle class family in the conservative western United States My father worked for Ford Motor Companyand was considered to be a bit of a charming con artist out of NewYork City Brilliant, hardworking, and likeable, he made things hap-pen for himself and those he loved My mother was a homemakerwho raised three children, born right in a row As a woman of the1960s Mom volunteered for everything: the PTA, the book fair, andfield trips She was homeroom mother and Girl Scout Leader, andshe drove the car pool She did this all for no pay, no bonus plan,and no commission

mid-Where were you born and raised? Did your mother work inside

or outside of the home? Did they call it work back then?

I remember going to the Children’s Day carnival every summernear my grandfather’s Wisconsin home on Lake Winnebago Thebest part of the carnival was the parade At the parade, we all dressed

up to march around in a circle, to the delight of cheering parents andgrandparents Back then, little boys arrived as firemen, astronauts,and football players Little girls dressed up as ballerinas, fairyprincesses, and nurses I desperately wanted to be a fairy princess,too But my mom had something special in mind for her three littlegirls She wanted to pay respect to our grandparents, who were

known as the best gardeners around So my mom dressed us up as avegetable garden I was a red beet During the whole parade the littleboy walking behind me pulled my red pointed beet hat down I feltcompletely humiliated.

Did you dress up for carnivals, Halloween, or make-believe?What was the best costume you ever wore? Did you pick it out or didsomeone else? Why did you like it the most?

Maybe there weren’t life-shaping events at such an early age inyour life, but I know those children’s carnivals molded my values andbeliefs My self-concept, my brand, began to take shape And I’llnever eat beets again

After the parade, we played every game imaginable, from legged races to wheelbarrow runs And the best part of the carnivalwas that we were all winners No child went home without a prize.Every year, everyone won! I suppose I won a prize for being the bestvegetable Do you remember when life was so simple and innocent?Back then I thought that those were the best days of my life And theyprobably were

three-Did you ever win a prize for something? What for? How did itmake you feel to get that attention?

When the games were over, I remember watching the beautifulladies up on the stage hand out awards and prizes to the childrenwhile we sat down on the clubhouse floor, eating ice cream out ofplastic Dixie cups with those rough little wooden spoons Eventually

it was my turn to walk up onstage and receive my ribbon It was a changing moment for me I remember thinking then, at a very youngage, “I’m on the wrong side of that stage.”

life-I wanted to be the pretty woman in charge, dressed in the stylishjogging suit (clearly never actually used for jogging) She wore littlesparkly earrings and a smile From where I sat on the floor, she lookedimpressive, strong, and confident in her role as carnival leader And Iknew then that I was on the wrong side of the stage I began my quest

to develop myself into what and who would be up in front, getting allthe attention: confident, strong, and wearing sparkly little earrings.I’ve mentioned that I had lots of sisters When girls grow up soclose in age, as we did, it creates a very competitive environment I’mnot talking about sibling rivalry—I’m talking about fierce competi-tion! We fought for and about everything We competed for the lastpork chop, the best bedroom, the latest bedtime, and eventually foreach other’s boyfriends

Are you the youngest in your family? Are you the oldest? Didyou compete with your siblings?

As the youngest, let me tell you how I fared I was the smallestand did not get the last pork chop I was the littlest and wore my sis-ters’ hand-me-down clothes I was the youngest and was always sent

to bed 15 minutes earlier then my next oldest sister And each year, as

I was allowed to stay up another half hour for my new bedtime, it wasstill always 15 minutes earlier than my sister’s bedtime

I love being the youngest now, and I remind my sisters everychance I get, “You’re older than me,” but back then it was definitely adisadvantage When my father remarried, I had a stepmother, threemore sisters, and a brother to love—and compete with My point is Ilearned the spirit and experience of competition at a very young age.These experiences shaped some of my values; I value winning

What Do You Call Attention?

We all compete for something from the day we are born Let me tellyou what I’ve learned about competition No matter what we arecompeting for, it’s really always for the same thing The goal, the tro-

phy, the ultimate prize is attention Isn’t that true? Whether we win a

carnival race or an Olympic gold medal, the real prize is the attention

we receive We might realize that we did a good job and be proud ofourselves, but deep down what we want (though some won’t admitit) is attention Call it self-esteem, respect, admiration, trust, good ser-vice at a restaurant, your phone call returned, a promotion, an en-

dorsement contract it is all attention.

Maybe the attention comes from ourselves and we call it respect Maybe it comes from family or friends and we call it love.Perhaps it comes from your employer or associates in the form of apromotion or a nomination to be the leader Maybe it is being chosen

self-to join the team as you line up along the gymnasium wall Whateveryou call it, it starts with the recognition and the awareness of whoyou are This is attention

What are some different words you use for attention? What

means more to you—the trophy, bonus, or employee-of-the-monthparking space, or the respect, regard, and attention behind thosephysical symbols?

The next time you watch an awards ceremony, watch carefullywhat the winners do right before, during, and after they receive

their awards Watch them as they search the crowd for their mother orfather or someone they love Watch them as they say with their eyes,

“Look at me I did it!” And watch them as they see in the eyes of theirprecious loved ones a look that says, “I see you! I’m so proud of you.”

We are all thirsty for it, but some quench their thirst with attention-seeking behavior based in destruction rather than improve-ment But whether we are being criticized for bad behavior or ap-plauded for achievement, our behavior is rooted in our need for—ouraddiction to—attention

Attention has gotten a bad rap There’s nothing wrong with tention We thrive under proper attention We grow when we haveour father’s blessing We become better when we hear the words

at-“Well done!” For the longest time I denied it, but now it has become

an affectionate joke between my friends and me: Like a plant thatneeds water and a dog that needs to be petted, we all need attending

to It not only keeps us alive, it makes us thrive It makes us whole so

we can give back to others

Even though we all compete for attention, some of us are comfortable with that idea For many of us, drawing attention is ourgreatest fear In fact, public speaking is one of the top ten fears in lifefor most people Something happens to us between our childhood,when we stand in the middle of a grocery store and loudly sing the

un-words to songs from The Lion King, and our first job interview, where

we stutter and shrink from a feeling of intimidation

Attention and Humility Can Coexist

While some people love the bright lights and applause, others onlywant a nod of approval from their boss or associates For some, hu-mility and attention are mutually exclusive It is easier to push thework or product to the foreground than to risk feeling too proud orconceited But branding is at some level all about getting and sustain-ing appropriate attention Attention comes from the recognition thatyou have something to offer This is the kind of attention that trans-lates into loyalty, influence, and satisfaction

When we begin to see ourselves as something to share and thy of being chosen by the world, we begin to be comfortable withthe idea of attention There’s nothing wrong with attention It’s howyou get it and what you do with it that matters How much is toomuch? What kind is the wrong kind? Is the attention a reward or a

wor-punishment? When dealing with attention, those are important tions to answer.

ques-When does humble appreciation and reflection become foolishpride? With any kind of brand, the most important thing to under-stand is that the attention we receive must immediately be returned

to the one it comes from, in the form of honor and respect That’swhat your customer, client, or audience deserves Brands work bestwhen they include everyone in an endless circle of respectful and sup-portive attention

When we don’t get attention (we aren’t picked for the team,chosen for the job, or asked out on a date) we risk rejection thatproves to be a self-fulfilling prophesy “Well, I guess that proves I’m anobody.” Rejection quickly manifests as either defeat or conceit Bothare distortions of the truth

Back in the 1960s, I grew up in an environment that set me on

a course with one motto, one attention-getting agenda, one tition It was the “I’ll show them!” competition I had entered therace to win

compe-My sisters had talents to marvel at compe-My sister Tess was such a markable softball pitcher and hitter that she would sub for the boys’baseball team throughout high school She had her nose broken morethan once when line drives came her way, and she was greatly ad-mired for her bandaged nose—even at the prom My oldest sister,Cindy, has the voice of an angel—just the voice, as no one would ac-cuse her of being too angelic! She could also play any musical instru-ment she picked up Talent oozed from these girls Later, when I was

re-in junior high school, my parents became guardian for a youngwoman I now call my sister, Mary She, too, had talents I onlydreamed of, and all the boys hung around our house to see her

I, on the other hand, had decided that if I was going to get anyattention, I would get ahead by studying And so I studied I didn’t dowhat my sisters did I didn’t go out for the teams I didn’t learn toplay the guitar The fact is I didn’t have much talent So I read andstudied and joined the debate team and science club

What did you do in high school to get attention?

In high school, I was the student council president and classpresident I quickly learned that when you were the president you gotyour picture taken a lot I rarely joined anything that I couldn’t be-come president of quickly I would show them! And for better orworse, I’m sure I did

My high school experiences served me well I was the first in myfamily to get a college degree, but it wasn’t easy I got a lot of goodgrades, but I was the one studying in the library until three in themorning I began my “I’ll show them” agenda all over again I de-cided to study the most difficult subjects—chemistry, biochemistry,and physics I studied these subjects not because I liked them, but be-cause I thought it sounded so smart to be a scientist (SupermodelCindy Crawford wanted to be a nuclear physicist because she thoughtthat sounded cool!) Who knows what I would have become if I hadfollowed my true calling instead of being who I thought I should be?Did you go to school after high school? Did you study what youwanted or what you thought you should study? Did anyone tell youwhat you should be? How did you pick your career or college major?Boy, was I poor After my parents divorced early on, I grew upalways worrying that our family would run out of money As a result,

I was especially determined to get ahead financially in life Here isanother example of how real experience shapes our values later inlife Throughout high school and college I had to scrape togethermoney any way I could I went downtown every Thursday to sell myplasma for the eight dollars they offered I was probably the only 20-year-old raking leaves for extra money And I had a job at the Inter-national House of Pancakes where I could eat all the pancakes Iwanted I worked 40 hours a week doing second and third shifts at ahospital My experiences of putting myself through school and strug-gling for enough food and rent money instilled in me an apprecia-tion for self-sufficiency, and I’m wrongly irritated with those I thinkhave it too easy

I eventually graduated with a major in chemistry and a minor inspeech And I thought, “I’ve really done it now.”

Do you remember your first jobs? What did you do after highschool? How did you pay your rent? Do you value money and secu-rity more or less as a result of these experiences?

I received and was promoted to job after job over the next 20years, first as a research chemist, then in production, where I engi-neered manufacturing improvements for the Little Golden BookCompany But I was never completely comfortable as a scientist.There was always somebody telling me, “You’re too young, tooextroverted, and especially too female.” I longed to get into salesand marketing “That’s where the real money and glamour is,” Ithought I’ll never forget a vice president of sales and marketing

who told me to come back when I had an MBA “You can’t run abusiness without an MBA,” he said Today, that company, GoldenBooks Family Entertainment, is bankrupt and out of business, while

I ran one of America’s most successful children’s book companies—without an MBA

In 1994 I was approached by a very successful company andasked to launch a children’s book company for them With a greatteam, including my husband, Rich, we created the company wenamed Dalmatian Press We started on my living room floor in Octo-ber of 1995 After nine short years, it has become one of the largestand most successful children’s book companies in the U.S mass mar-ket I get to work with Warner Bros., Disney, and virtually everymovie studio in America I’ve worked in Chicago and New York, inParis and Italy and China I’ve worked on Wall Street and just downthe street in Nashville I figured I had really shown them now

So I must have been happy My gosh, I should have been one ofthe happiest people in the world And I am happy now, but not forany of the reasons I would have predicted At age 44 I discovered who

I really am And you should too Here’s what happened

In 1993, I learned I had cancer I remember the day It was alate Thursday night in early November I can remember hearing theradiologist saying, “Stop Wait—that’s not a cyst.” When I found outthat I had cancer, my Cinderella story became something like aStephen King horror story And I was the central character, written

to be killed off

I didn’t know that I would be battling cancer for almost 10years, six major operations, and four new hairstyles Eventually, Istopped trying to look like my old self and bought a red wig, a blondewig, and a long brunette wig That was probably the beginning of myexperimenting with who I really am I traveled all around the coun-try, from New York to Los Angeles looking for a cure I even took a lit-tle trip down to Mexico I continued in my competition to be the best

at whatever I did, including fighting cancer I fought with my sistersand called it holiday stress I fought with my boss and called it ambi-tion I fought with everyone—the guy behind the McDonald’scounter, the pizza deliveryman, the ATM cash machine, and espe-cially with my husband at four o’clock in the morning when mymind played tricks on me and told me, “You’re not going to make it.”

I ran all over looking for a cure At the time I called it traveling, but Iwas really running