Writting good or well 10 docx

Chapter 18 tackles parallelism, the grammar term for order and balance in a sentence.. Chapter 18Practicing Parallel Structure In This Chapter 䊳Creating balanced sentences 䊳Avoiding shif

In this part

Completing the exercises in this part is the equivalent

of designing clothes for one of the famous Parisian fashion houses If you can make it through this material, you’ve arrived at the top The topics in this part include more than grammar; and when you master them, your writing will be as stylish as a supermodel

Chapter 18 tackles parallelism, the grammar term for order and balance in a sentence (In fashion terms, how not to wear rain boots with an evening gown.) Chapter 19 lets you practice adding variety to sentences, so you don’t end up wearing the same outfit er, structuring every sentence the same way Chapter 20 concerns the little errors (like wearing something that isn’t black in New York City) that sabotage your writing

Chapter 18

Practicing Parallel Structure

In This Chapter

䊳Creating balanced sentences

䊳Avoiding shifts in tense, person, and voice

䊳Dealing with paired conjunctions (either/or, not only/but also, and the like)

Math teachers have all the luck Not only can they play with compasses and protrac-tors, but they also get to draw little circles and squares and parallel lines English has parallels too, but in grammar, parallels are created with words, not with pencils and rulers

No fun at all!

Grammatical parallelism may not be party material, but it’s essential to good writing Parallelism refers to order and balance, the quality a sentence has when it flows smoothly

No parallel sentence starts out in one direction (toward, say, Grandma’s house) only to veer suddenly off the road (perhaps to a biker convention two states away) This chapter pro-vides a road map and some practice drives to keep your sentences on track

Geometry Invades English: Parallelism Basics

When a sentence is parallel, everything performing the same function in the sentence has the same grammatical identity If you have two subjects, for example, and one is an infinitive

(to ski), the other one will be an infinitive also (to fracture) You can’t mix and match; to ski

and fracturing shouldn’t show up as paired (or part of tripled or quadrupled or whatever)

subjects Check these sentences out:

Nonparallel: Roberta didn’t enjoy paying full price for a lift ticket and that the cashier

treated her rudely

Parallel: Roberta didn’t enjoy paying full price for a lift ticket and being treated rudely

by the cashier

In checking for parallelism, don’t worry about terminology Just read the sentence aloud and listen: Parallel sentences sound balanced, but nonparallel sentences sound lopsided Keep your balance while you check out the following sentences Decide whether or not they’re parallel If they are, write “correct” in the blank after each sentence If they’re non-parallel, correct the sentence in the blanks provided

230 Part V: Writing with Style

Q.Sliding down Thunder Mountain, artfully spraying snow across his rival’s face, and to get the best seat in the ski lodge were Robert’s goals for the afternoon

A.Sliding down Thunder Mountain, artfully spraying snow across his rival’s face, and get-ting the best seat in the ski lodge were Robert’s goals for the afternoon The sentence

has three subjects The first two subjects are verb forms ending in -ing (gerunds, in official grammar terminology), but the third is an infinitive (the to form of a verb) Mismatch! My

suggested answer makes all three subjects into gerunds Here’s another possibility: To slide down Thunder Mountain, to spray snow artfully across his rival’s face, and to get the best seat in the ski lodge were Robert’s goals for the afternoon Now all are infinitives, and the sentence is parallel

1 The ski pants that Robert favors are green, skin-tight, and made of stretch fabric.

2 When he eases into those pants and zipping up with great difficulty, Robert feels cool.

3 In this ski outfit, Robert can breathe only with great difficulty and loudly.

4 The sacrifice for the sake of fashion is worth the trouble and how he feels uncomfortable,

Robert says

5 Besides, sliding down the mountain and coasting to a full stop is easier in clothing that

resembles a second skin

6 Robert has often been known to object to secondhand clothing and how some equipment

is used

7 “With a good parka or wearing a warm face mask I’m ready for anything,” he says.

8 He adds, “The face mask is useful on the slopes and doing double duty in bank robberies.”

9 The ski pants can also be recycled, if they are ripless and without stains.

10 However, robbing a bank and to mug someone on the street is more difficult in ski pants.

11 Robbers need speed and to be private, but they also need pockets.

12 Stashing stolen money and where to put an unwanted ski mask are important issues.

13 Robert, who is actually quite honest and not having the inclination to rob anyone,

never-theless thinks about crime and fashion

14 He once wrote and had even edited a newsletter called Crimes of Fashion.

15 Skiing and to pursue a career in law enforcement are Robert’s dreams.

232 Part V: Writing with Style

Avoiding Unnecessary Shifts

in Tense, Person, and Voice

My driving instructor (my husband) patiently explained to me at least 1,000 times that shifting at the wrong time was bad for (a) the engine and (b) his nerves I did my best, though the grinding noise that echoed through the car wasn’t always my teeth

Sentences should stay in gear also, unless the meaning requires a shift Every sentence has tense (the time of the action or state of being), person (who’s talking or being talked about), and voice (active or passive) A sentence has a parallelism problem when one of those qualities shifts unnecessarily from, say, present to past tense, or from first person

(the I form) to third (the he or they form) Nor should a sentence drift from singular to

plural without good reason For help with verbs, check out Chapters 1 and 2 Pronoun tips are in Chapters 3 and 11

Some shifts are crucial to the meaning of the sentence If I hit you and then he hits me, the

shift from one person to another is part of what I’m trying to say That sort of sentence is

fine What’s not parallel is a statement like I hit him because you always want to be

aggres-sive in tight situations, where the you is a stand-in for I or everyone.

Hop in for a test ride Check out the following sentences If everything’s okay, write “cor-rect” in the blank after each sentence Rewrite the nonparallel sentences so they’re correct

Q.Miranda read her introduction, and then the slides of our trip to Morocco were shown

by me

A.Miranda read her introduction, and then I showed the slides of our trip to Morocco.

The original sentence unwisely shifts from active voice (Miranda read) to passive

(slides were shown) Verdict: Stripped gears, caused by a lack of parallelism.

16 If anyone has studied biology, you know that a person must learn the names of hundreds,

if not thousands, of organisms

17 Who gave those names, and why?

18 The Amoeba Family provides a good example of the process, so its name will be

explained

19 You may not know that the first example of this single-celled organism would have the

name Amy

20 When you split them in half, the new organisms name themselves.

21 The right half of Amy was still called Amy by herself, but the left half now called

herself Bea

22 The next time Amy and Bea split, you have four new organisms.

23 No one can imagine a conference between four single-celled organisms unless they

wit-nessed it

24 Amy Right Half favored a name that people will notice.

25 Amy Left Half thought about the choice for so long that her swimming was neglected.

26 Bea Right Half, a proto-feminist, opted for “Amy-Bea,” because she wants to honor both

her parents

27 Everyone always pronounced “Amy-Bea” very fast, and soon “Amoeba” was their

pre-ferred spelling