Master gmat 2010 part 39 potx

The original version A is faulty, so your choice is between the two alternative versions listed here.. REDUNDANCY, WORDINESS, AWKWARDNESS, AND OMISSIONS In addition to covering grammar a

string can sometimes result in an awkward and unnecessarily wordy sentence In other

instances, repeating the modifier may be necessary to achieve clarity

awkward: Some pachyderms can go for days at a time without water or without

food or without sleep

better: Some pachyderms can go for days at a time without water, food, or sleep.

unclear: Going for broke and broke usually carry identical consequences.

clear: Going for broke and going broke usually carry identical consequences.

Faulty Parallelism Involving Correlatives

You just saw how items in a list can suffer from faulty parallelism Now look at how this

grammatical error shows up in what are called correlatives Here are the most commonly used

correlatives:

• either or

• neither nor

• both and

• not only but also

Whenever you spot a correlative in a sentence, make sure that the element immediately

following the first correlative term is parallel in construction to the element following the

second term

faulty: Those wishing to participate should either contact us by telephone or should

send an e-mail to us

parallel (but repetitive): Those wishing to participate either should contact us by

telephone or should send an e-mail to us.

parallel: Those wishing to participate should either contact us by telephone or

send an e-mail to us

Now, look at how faulty parallelism in a correlative might appear in a GMAT sentence The

original version (A) is faulty, so your choice is between the two alternative versions

listed here

10 Species diversity in the Amazon basin results not from climate stability, as once

believed, but climate disturbances

(A) from climate stability, as once believed, but

(B) only from climate stability, as once believed, but instead from

(C) ***

(D) ***

(E) from climate stability, as once believed, but rather from

The correct answer is (E) As it stands, the original sentence might carry one of two very

different meanings: (1) stability and disturbances both contribute to species diversity, or (2)

disturbances, but not stability, contribute to species diversity The reason for the ambiguity is

correlative term) The correct answer choice must make the sentence’s meaning clear,

probably by using one of two correlatives: not only but also or not but rather Also, the two correlative terms must be parallel (E) corrects the faulty parallelism (from appears in

each correlative term) and clears up the sentence’s meaning Although (B) corrects the

parallelism problem, it uses the nonsensical (and improper) correlative not only

but instead.

REDUNDANCY, WORDINESS, AWKWARDNESS, AND OMISSIONS

In addition to covering grammar and sentence structure, GMAT Sentence Correction also tests you on your skill at recognizing and fixing the following types of problems involving written expression:

• Redundancy (repeating the same idea)

• Wordiness (using more words than needed to make the point)

• Awkwardness (using clumsy, confusing, or overly complicated wording)

• Omissions (omitting words that are needed for clarity or sentence sense) The problems of wordiness and awkwardness will show up in the majority of the fourteen to fifteen Sentence Correction questions on the GMAT So always be on the lookout for them in both the original sentences and in one or more of the answer choices

Redundant Words and Phrases

Look for words and phrases that express the same idea twice This syndrome is known as

“redundancy.” In many cases, correcting the problem is as simple as omitting one of the redundant phrases

redundant: The reason that we stopped for the night was because we were sleepy redundant: Because we were sleepy, we therefore stopped for the night.

better: We stopped for the night because we were sleepy.

redundant: The underlying motive behind his seemingly generous offer was

old-fashioned greed

better: The motive behind his seemingly generous offer was old-fashioned greed better: The underlying motive for his seemingly generous offer was

old-fash-ioned greed

redundant: One of the fossils is 20,000 years old in age.

better: One of the fossils is 20,000 years old.

redundant: The German Oktoberfest takes place each October of every year.

better: The German Oktoberfest takes place every October.

redundant: At the same time that lightning struck, we simultaneously lost our

electric power

better: At the same time that lightning struck, we lost our electric power.

redundant: Both unemployment as well as interest rates can affect stock prices.

better: Both unemployment levels and interest rates can affect stock prices.

better: Unemployment levels as well as interest rates can affect stock prices.

redundant: Not only does dinner smell good, but it also tastes good too.

better: Not only does dinner smell good, but it tastes good too.

Now look at a GMAT-style sentence that raises the issue of redundancy The original version

(A) is faulty, so your choice is between the two alternative versions listed here

11 Due to a negligible difference in Phase III results between patients using the drug

and those using a placebo, the Food and Drug Administration refused to approve it

on this basis

(A) Due to a negligible difference in Phase III results between patients using the

drug and those using a placebo, the Food and Drug Administration refused to

approve the drug on this basis

(B) The Food and Drug Administration refused to approve the drug based upon a

negligible difference in Phase III results between patients using it and those

using a placebo

(C) Due to a negligible difference in Phase III results between patients using the

drug and those using a placebo, the Food and Drug Administration refused to

approve the drug

(D) ***

(E) ***

The correct answer is (C) There are three distinct problems with the original version.

First, due to and on this basis serve the same function—to express that the FDA’s refusal was

based on the Phase III results (The redundancy is easy to miss since one phrase begins the

sentence while the other phrase ends it.) Second, the intended antecedent of it is the drug, but

the intervening noun placebo obscures the reference Third, the sentence is ambiguous Did

the FDA refuse to approve the drug, or did it approve the drug on some basis other than the

one mentioned in the sentence? (C) corrects all three problems, simply by omitting on this

basis and by replacing it with the drug (B) corrects the first two problems by omitting due to

and reconstructing the sentence But (B) fails to clarify the meaning of the sentence

Be on the lookout for sentences having the following “themes” and keywords Redundancies

are most likely to spring up in these kinds of sentences:

• Words establishing cause-and-effect (because, since, if, then, therefore)

• References to time (age, years, hours, days)

• Words used as conjunctions (both, as well, too, also)

Superfluous (Unnecessary) Words

You just took a look at one variety of unnecessary verbiage: redundancy Now look at some other kinds of sentences in which certain words can simply be omitted without affecting the meaning or effectiveness of the original sentence Remember: Briefer is better

Each sentence in the first group below contains an ellipsis: a word or phrase that can be

omitted because it is clearly implied (In the incorrect version, the ellipsis is italicized.)

superfluous: The warmer the weather is, the more crowded the beach is.

concise: The warmer the weather, the more crowded the beach.

superfluous: He looks exactly like Francis looks.

concise: He looks exactly like Francis.

superfluous: That shirt is the ugliest shirt that I have ever seen.

concise: That shirt is the ugliest I have ever seen.

Each sentence in the next group includes a superfluous preposition (In the incorrect version, the preposition is italicized.)

superfluous: The other children couldn’t help from laughing at the girl with

mismatched shoes

concise: The other children couldn’t help laughing at the girl with mismatched

shoes

superfluous: One prominent futurist predicts a nuclear holocaust by the year

of 2020.

concise: One prominent futurist predicts a nuclear holocaust by the year 2020.

superfluous: They made the discovery in around December of last year.

concise: They made the discovery around December of last year.

superfluous: The waiter brought half of a loaf of bread to the table.

concise: The waiter brought half a loaf of bread to the table.

Superfluous words can also appear in a series of parallel clauses Both versions of the next sentence use proper parallelism, but briefer is better—as long as the meaning of the sentence

is clear

superfluous: My three goals in life are to be healthy, to be wealthy, and to be wise.

concise: My three goals in life are to be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Here’s a GMAT-style sentence that contains superfluous words The original version (A) is faulty, so your choice is between the two alternative versions listed here

12 Only through a comprehensive, federally funded vaccination program can a new

epidemic of tuberculosis be curbed, just like the spread of both cholera as well as the

spread of typhoid was curbed

(A) as well as the spread of typhoid was curbed

(B) ***

(C) ***

(D) and typhoid

(E) as well as typhoid was curbed

The correct answer is (D) The original sentence suffers from no fewer than three distinct

verbiage problems First, the correlative both as well as is redundant (and improper).

Since both is not underlined, as well as should be replaced with and Second, because the

preposition like sets up an ellipsis, were curbed is implied and can be omitted Third, the

second occurrence of the spread of can be omitted since it is implied through the use of

parallel construction (D) pares down the underlined phrase to its most concise form (E) fails

to correct the redundant correlative both as well as (E) also fails to omit the unnecessary

was curbed.

Wordy and Awkward Phrases

Just because a sentence is grammatically acceptable, you shouldn’t assume that there is no

room for improvement You’ve already seen that unnecessary words can sometimes be

omitted, thereby improving a GMAT sentence Now, look at some phrases that can be replaced

with clearer, more concise ones

wordy: Failure can some of the time serve as a prelude to success.

concise: Failure can sometimes serve as a prelude to success.

wordy: As a result of Greg’s being a compulsive overeater, it is not likely that he

will live past the age of 50.

concise: Because Greg is a compulsive overeater, he is unlikely to live past the age

of 50

wordy: Before the mother eats, she feeds each and every one of her offspring.

concise: Before the mother eats, she feeds each of her offspring.

wordy: There are fewer buffalo on the plains today than there ever were before.

concise: There are fewer buffalo on the plains today than ever before.

wordy: Discipline is crucial to the attainment of one’s objectives.

concise: Discipline is crucial to attaining one’s objectives.

wordy: Her husband was waiting for her on the platform at the time of the train’s

arrival.

concise: Her husband was waiting for her on the platform when the train arrived.

awkward: Calcification is when (or is where) calcium deposits form around a bone concise: Calcification occurs when calcium deposits form around a bone.

awkward: There are eight cats in the house, of which only two have been fed.

concise: Of the eight cats in the house, only two have been fed.

awkward: The wind poses a serious threat to the old tree, and so does the snow.

concise: The wind and snow both pose a serious threat to the old tree.

Now, take a look at a wordy and awkward GMAT-style sentence The original version (A) is

faulty, so your choice is between the two alternative versions listed here

13 To avoid confusion between oral medications, different pills’ coatings should have

different colors, and pills should be different in shape and size

(A) different pills’ coatings should have different colors, and pills should be differ-ent in shape and size

(B) pills should differ in color as well as in shape and size

(C) ***

(D) pills should be able to be distinguished by their color, shape, and size (E) ***

The correct answer is (B) There are several problems with the original sentence The first

is that different pills’ coatings is very awkward Second, the word coatings is probably superfluous here; color suffices to make the point Third, have different colors is awkward (differ in color would be better) Fourth, the phrase be different is ambiguous (different from

what?) Finally, a parallel series including color, shape, and size would be more concise and less awkward than the construction used in the sentence (B) corrects all these problems In

(D), the phrase be able to be distinguished is wordy and very awkward; the phrase should be

distinguishable would be better.

Omitting a Necessary Word

On the flip side of redundancy and wordiness is the error of omission Excluding a necessary

word can obscure or confuse the meaning of the sentence Check especially for the omission of

key “little” words—prepositions, pronouns, conjunctions, and especially the word that.

omission: The newscaster announced the voting results were incorrect (What did

the newscaster announce: the results or the fact that the results were incorrect?)

clearer: The newscaster announced that the voting results were incorrect.

Look out especially for an omission that results in an illogical comparison, as in the following sentences It can easily slip past you if you’re not paying close attention

illogical: The color of the blouse is different from the skirt.

logical: The color of the blouse is different from that of the skirt.

NOTE

The wordy and

awkward phrases

the GMAT can

throw at you are

limited in variety

only by the

collective

imagination of

test makers The

phrases we’ve

provided here

are just a

sampling.

illogical: China’s population is greater than any country in the world (This

sentence draws an illogical comparison between a population and a country and

illogically suggests that China is not a country.)

logical: China’s population is greater than that of any other country in the world.

ERRORS IN PARTS OF SPEECH

Earlier in the chapter, we covered grammatical errors involving parts of speech that are the

most basic and that the GMAT covers most frequently Here you’ll focus on the trickiest, most

testworthy rules of grammar involving pronoun choice and subject-verb agreement:

• Error in choice of relative pronoun

• Error in subject-verb agreement (pronoun and compound subjects)

Error in Choice of Relative Pronoun

The English language includes only a handful of relative pronouns: which, who, that, whose,

whichever, whoever, and whomever Don’t worry about what the term “relative pronoun”

means Instead, just remember the following rules about when to use each one:

• Use which to refer to things.

• Use either who or that to refer to people.

incorrect: Amanda, which was the third performer, was the best of the group.

correct: Amanda, who was the third performer, was the best of the group.

correct: The first employee that fails to meet his or her sales quota will

be fired

correct: The first employee who fails to meet his or her sales quota will

be fired

• Whether you should use which or that depends on what the sentence is supposed

to mean

one meaning: The third page, which had been earmarked, contained several

typographical errors

different meaning: The third page that had been earmarked contained

several typographical errors

(The first sentence describes the third page as earmarked and containing errors The second

sentence suggests that the page containing the errors was the third earmarked page.)

• Whether you should use who (whoever) or whom (whomever) depends on the

grammatical function of the person (or people) being referred to Confused? Don’t

worry; just take a look at the sample sentences here, and you shouldn’t have any

trouble deciding between who and whom on the GMAT.

incorrect: It was the chairman whom initiated the bill.

ALERT!

Your mind can easily trick you by filling in a key word that is not there Be sure to read every GMAT sentence slowly and carefully.

correct: It was the chairman who initiated the bill.

incorrect: First aid will be available to whomever requires it.

correct: First aid will be available to whoever requires it.

incorrect: The team members from East High, who the judges were highly

impressed with, won the debate

correct: The team members from East High, with whom the judges were

highly impressed, won the debate

On the GMAT, to make sure that who (whoever) and whom (whomever) are being used

correctly, try substituting a regular pronoun, then rearrange the clause (if necessary) to form

a simple sentence If a subject-case pronoun works, then who (whoever) is the right choice On the other hand, if an object-case pronoun works, then whom (whomever) is the right choice.

Here’s how it works with the foregoing sentences:

It was the chairman whom initiated the bill.

He initiated the bill.

(He is a subject-case pronoun, so whom should be replaced with who.) First aid will be available to whomever requires it.

She requires it.

(She is a subject-case pronoun, so whomever should be replaced with

whoever.)

The team members from East High, who the judges were highly impressed with,

won the debate

The judges were impressed with them.

(Them is an object-case pronoun, so who should be replaced by whom.)

Now, look at a GMAT-style sentence that focuses on a relative-pronoun issue The original version (A) is faulty, so your choice is between the two alternative versions listed here

14 The Civil War’s bloodiest battle was initiated on behalf of those, the indentured

black slaves, for who life was most precious

(A) bloodiest battle was initiated on behalf of those, the indentured black slaves, for who life was most precious

(B) indentured black slaves, for whom life was most precious, initiated the war’s bloodiest battle

(C) ***

(D) ***

(E) bloodiest battle was initiated on behalf of the indentured black slaves, for whom life was most precious

The correct answer is (E) The original sentence suffers from two flaws First, the relative

pronoun who should be replaced with whom (Replace the last clause with: Life was most

precious for them The pronoun them is an object-case pronoun, so the correct choice is whom.)

Second, the word those, probably intended to refer to the slaves, should be deleted because it

is unnecessary and because it confuses the meaning of the sentence The comma following

those should also be omitted (E) corrects both flaws (B) also corrects both flaws, but it

radically alters the sentence’s meaning, improperly suggesting that the slaves initiated the

bloodiest battle (rather than properly communicating that it was on the slaves’ behalf that the

battle was fought)

Error in Subject-Verb Agreement (Pronoun and Compound Subjects)

Determining whether a sentence’s subject is singular or plural isn’t always as simple as you

might think You can easily determine whether a personal pronoun such as he, they, and its is

singular or plural But other pronouns are not so easily identified as either singular or plural

Here are two lists, along with sample sentences, to help you keep these pronouns straight in

your mind

Singular pronouns:

anyone, anything, anybody

each

either, neither

every, everyone, everything, everybody

nobody, no one, nothing

what, whatever

who, whom, whoever, whomever

correct: Every possible cause has been investigated.

correct: Each one of the children here speaks fluent French.

correct: Neither of the pens has any ink remaining in it.

correct: Whatever he’s doing is very effective.

correct: Everything she touches turns to gold.

Even when they refer to a “compound” subject joined by and, the pronouns listed above

remain singular

correct: Each adult and child here speaks fluent French.

correct: Every possible cause and suspect was investigated.

Plural pronouns:

both

few

many

several some others

correct: Few would argue with that line of reasoning.

correct: Many claim to have encountered alien beings.

correct: Some thrive on commotion, while others need quiet.

It’s especially easy to overlook a subject-verb agreement problem in a sentence involving

word or) If joined by and, a compound subject is usually plural (and takes a plural verb) But

if joined by or, either or, or neither nor, compound subjects are usually singular.

plural: The chorus and the introduction need improvement.

singular: Either the chorus or the introduction needs improvement.

singular: Neither the chorus nor the introduction needs improvement.

But what if one subject is singular and another is plural? Which form should the verb take?

Here’s the rule: Look to see which subject is nearer to the verb; the verb should agree with

that subject

plural: Either the rhythm or the lyrics need improvement.

singular: Either the lyrics or the rhythm needs improvement.

In some cases, you can’t tell whether a subject is singular or plural without looking at how it’s

used in the sentence This is true of so-called collective nouns and nouns of quantity These

might call for either a singular verb or a plural verb, depending on whether the noun is used

in a singular or plural sense

correct: Four years is too long to wait (four years used in singular sense) correct: Four years can pass by quickly (four years used in plural sense) correct: The majority favors the Republican candidate (majority used in singular sense) correct: The majority of the voters here favor the Republican candidate (majority

used in plural sense) Here’s a GMAT-style sentence that contains a compound subject The original version (A) is faulty, so your choice is between the two alternative versions listed here

15 Neither his financial patron or Copernicus himself were expecting the societal

backlash resulting from him denouncing the Earth-centered Ptolemaic model of the universe

(A) or Copernicus himself were expecting the societal backlash resulting from him

(B) ***

(C) nor Copernicus himself was expecting the societal backlash resulting from his

(D) nor Copernicus were expecting the societal backlash resulting from him (E) ***

The correct answer is (C) The original sentence actually contains three grammatical

errors First, neither should be paired with nor instead of or Second, the singular verb was should be used instead of the plural were because neither nor calls for a singular subject and because both parts of the subject (patron and Copernicus) are singular Third, the phrase

him denouncing (which grammarians call a “noun clause”) is improper; denouncing is a

gerund (a verb turned into a noun by adding -ing), and gerunds always take possessive pronouns (his, in this case) (C) corrects all three errors without creating any new ones (D) corrects the first error, but not the other two Also, notice that (D) deletes himself from the

original sentence In doing so, (D) obscures the intended meaning of the sentence, which

makes it clear, through the use of himself, that the word “his” (appearing twice in the

sentence) refers to Copernicus rather than to someone else So (D) creates a new error