[...]... element), especially when talking about their families or sexuality or, say, aspects of their childhood What you read here are the original texts, with a little spit-polish—in editing the women’s comments, I did my best to preserve individual cadence and voice, limiting myself to cor- Introduction xiv rections of spelling and grammar, typos, and tightening of passages for impact and considerations of length... names (“screen” names in computer lingo) to preserve their real identities They signed their notes with these names and used them when addressing one another After a while, writing to “Blue Girl” seemed as natural as using “Anne” or “Lucy,” and so this form of identification is carried forward in this book Significantly, I think this privacy permitted the women to reveal some of their deepest feelings... Christmas I received a phone call while I was at work from my surgeon It was around lunchtime I remember screaming and was comforted by a nice lady who worked in my office It was only us in the room I didn’t automatically call anyone to tell them I had to leave work immediately 16 I AM NOT MY BREAST CANCER I don’t remember driving home It was the most surreal experience I could ever have imagined I. .. few noticed a change in me For the few that did suspect, I simply said I was fighting off something and was a bit tired I d end with, “You know how it is,” and invariably they’d say yes and proceed to tell how they too seemed to be fighting off some kind of virus (I didn’t lie to anyone Believe me, I really was fighting.) Delivered There are a lot of people in my life whom I have not told about my breast. .. appointment I went to my off ice and called one of my best friends Without skipping a beat, she came immediately—we cried, and then I left the off ice without saying a word and took off the rest of the afternoon I remember we went out for lunch To this day, however, I still can’t recall the specif ics of calling my parents in St Louis to tell them I had breast cancer For one thing, I 4 I AM NOT MY BREAST. .. through too many tragedies in his life—he lost his whole family in the gas chambers of Treblinka I would not have him lose a child That was simply not an option CarynRose Since my sister had died from breast cancer in 1986 at age 43, my husband had been secretly waiting for “the other shoe to drop.” My 6 I AM NOT MY BREAST CANCER husband, who is very protective of me and has been my soul mate for the... today one in eight women is diagnosed with breast cancer; 85 percent of them have no family history of the disease Indeed, in women the only cause of death greater than breast cancer is lung cancer When I consider my breast cancer alongside these facts, I m just a blip on the screen, a number among other numbers When I was thirty-five, I recall, one in nine women would xi Introduction get breast cancer. .. or depression? For some women, this struggle becomes the factor that finally breaks their spirit This is wrong I believe we can and should do better My greatest wish for this book is that it offer comfort to any woman living with breast cancer and to those who care about her If this book is kept on the bedside table, then I hope its need is brief and its impact lasting I Am Not My Breast Cancer speaks... news I felt I needed time alone with them It was a difficult discussion and I could tell how scared they were I involved them all the way My mother once again took me under her wing and was always there when I needed her to be She is always so giving and positive I felt 10 again instead of 41 I wouldn’t change the way I handled anything, except believing I was invincible in the first place Sara C Sharing... as “outsiders” never changes Women with breast cancer thrive on connecting with other women who speak the same language and share the same concerns The help and nurturing they offer one another is its own reward I Am Not My Breast Cancer has been organized in three parts, which loosely chronicle the progression of living with breast cancer Part 1, “Diagnosis,” begins with receiving and sharing the . entries. I Am Not My Breast Cancer is authored by ordinary women with breast cancer for readers everywhere who are dealing with breast cancer and its many personal and symbolic ramifications comments, I did my best to preserve individual cadence and voice, limiting myself to cor - Introduction xiv rections of spelling and grammar, typos, and tightening of passages for impact and considerations. they are not alone when dealing with this disease. It will help their families, friends, colleagues, and also their physicians—anyone who is part of the fabric of their lives. It is a book