Difficult People A Practical Guide to Dealing With the 10 Main Types ppt

Table of Contents Introduction 10 Difficult Tyoes Of People Explained The Intimidator The Stealth Bomber The Oscar Goes To Person The Boombastic Blowhard The Politician The Yes Peop

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A Practical Guide to

Dealing With the

10 Main lypes

WN W

Copyright © 2013 by Kimberly Mathews

All rights reserved worldwide No part of this publication may be replicated, redistributed, or given away in any

form (That's bad karma) without the prior written consent of the author/publisher

Disclaimer This eBook 1s for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for any professional advice

provided by your physician, therapist, psychiatrist or any other related professions

Authors Note The idea behind this eBook, is to provide you with clear, easy to use techniques and strategies, that you can implement straight away My goal, was not to make it complicated or over analyze everything, but to keep it simple

and to the point

Table of Contents

Introduction

10 Difficult Tyoes Of People Explained The Intimidator

The Stealth Bomber

The Oscar Goes To Person The Boombastic Blowhard

The Politician

The Yes People

The Fake It Till You Make It Person

The Silent Sleeper

The It Will Never Work Person

The Complainer

What Makes Some People Difficult? Mastering Communication

Be AGreat Listener

Developing Your Inner Power

The Art To Influencing Difficult People How To Handle These Difficult People The Intimidator

The Stealth Bomber

The Oscar Goes To Person The Bombastic Blowhard

The Politician

The Yes People

The Fake It Till You Make It Person

The Silent Sleeper

The It Will Never Work Person

The Complainer

Conclusion

Introduction

It would be fair to say that we've all encountered at least one difficult person during the course of our daily job

in our social lives or even at home

It's frustrating enough when these are people that we deal with casually, but even worse when they are members of our family or twice as worse if it's our boss

Unfortunately, these people can make our lives a little more difficult, put us a little more on edge and make us a little less tolerant If they are people we can't get away from, then it requires a little skill to deal with them and come out unscathed

Here are a fewtypes that may be familiar to you?

The Intimidator

The Complainer

The Stealth Bomber

The Politician

The Bombastic Blowhard

The Fake It Till You Make It Person

These types of people can come from all walks of life, as neighbors, co-workers, and friends They can intimidate and belittle you you would prefer not working with them or even talking to them But, if you can begin to understand them and implement some basic strategies, you stand a good chance of getting what you want done

No longer do you have to feel like you're being attacked, cornered or manipulated while your frustration builds

up A tactic you might have used in the past, is to walk away Sometimes, that really is the only thing you can do when you try to be reasonable and nothing gets through to the difficult person

But, a lot of times there are tactics you can use that will work well This eBook will discuss the difficult personality types mentioned above, as well as several others It will give you explanations for their behavior so that you can understand why they act the way they do You will be able to see them in a different light

Armed with this understanding and some strategies, you'll be in a much better position to take charge in these situations and become the master of your emotions once and for all

10 Difficult Types Of People Explained

Blowhards, loud-mouths, whiners, and pessimists - they can be hard to work with and almost impossible to live with Here are ten of the most common difficult types of people

Remember when reading through this list that people tend to revert to these types of behavior when they are feeling threatened, frustrated or angry In fact, all of us at some stage in our lives have resorted to at least one of these behaviors

The Intimidator

This is the type of person who sets out to destroy your perfect day and any work in progress Even if that person has contributed to the job at hand themselves, they burst forward, guns blazing armed with stinging criticism and harsh accusations

The Intimidator has only negative things to say, especially towards you and your actions, and they believe they are the ultimate solution

When he senses the paralyzing effect his accusations have had on everyone, he seizes his chance to take charge and begins barking orders However, he quickly loses interest and moves on, leaving you to clean up the mess The Stealth Bomber

If you're familiar with the corporate world, you have more than likely run into this type of person After working diligently on a project for weeks or even months, you're finally ready to present your project to the group Suddenly, like a true Stealth Bomber he glides in out of nowhere and proceeds to rip your presentation apart

This person is a master at destroying your credibility with a single sarcastic remark or an evil little snicker He seems harmless, but he's trouble in disguise

The Oscar Goes To Person

This type of person loves to make mountains out of mole hills, he's disruptive and quite often hostile, and simply put, he likes to cause a scene This is a person who throws a tantrum when they get his order wrong at MacDonalds

The Bombastic Blowhard

This is the person who always has the answer to a problem, without knowing what the problem is He seeks advice when he's stumped, BUT never agrees when it's given He hates being corrected and when things do go wrong, he knows who to blame You

The Politician

We all know someone like this He's the person who won't give you a straight answer, no matter how serious the situation It's a pain trying to meet project deadlines with him, and you wouldn't even have a yard sale with him, because he won't make a definite decision on anything

The Yes People

These are some of the nicest people around (OK what's wrong with being nice I hear you say) But these people can be so infuriating They always offer to do favors for other people and want to make sure that everyone's happy In fact, they'll do almost anything to avoid confrontations and uncomfortable situations

However, when it comes to delivering on the things they said they would, all the excuses from under the sun magically appear They bite off more than they can chew when promising results and get deeply oflended when you resent them for tt

The Fake It Till You Make It Person

These are the type of people that enjoy taking charge at meetings and parties They always think that they are the expert on any topic and their self-confidence is so overwhelming that it takes a real expert to understand that they're actually fakes

The main goal of this person, is to get attention and they usually succeed by fooling everyone around them

The Silent Sleeper

Everyone likes the strong silent type, but this type of person represents that in a bad way

They have no opinion about anything You won't hear them contribute to any group discussions or even attempt

to make a suggestion Their silence always leaves you wondering, what sort of person they really are

The It Will Never Work Person

This type of person approaches life from a position of complete pessimism

They manage (With ease) to find faults with every good idea that's presented and sincerely believe, that no matter how good the idea is, it will never work They just don't understand why everyone else can't see it either

The Complainer

We all know the complainers in our lives These are the types of people who like to complain about everything They constantly feel overwhelmed and everyone is out to get them They have such high expectations, that reality never measures up to what they have in mind

What Makes Some People Difficult?

Improving relationships with difficult people is possible, only if we understand where they're coming from What they're thinking will determine their behavior

As their thoughts change, so also does their behavior Assessing and comprehending their frame of mind is the starting point to improving relationships with such people

In their book "Dealing With People You Can't Stand" Dr Rick Kirschner and Dr Rick Brinkman write about intent being the root of behavior They state that there are four types of intent: getting it done, getting it right, getting along, and getting appreciation

Difficult people can quickly move from one type of intent to another, depending on their desires at that particular point in time

You can usually tell where a person is coming from by the way they communicate People who are in the ' get it done' frame of mind are fully focused on getting the job done and their communication style is concise and to the point

People tuned in to the 'get it right’ mode, concentrate on the nitty gritty stuff documenting the process as a confirmation that the job has been performed successfully

Those who are in the 'get along’ mode, focus on their dealings with others as well as their emotions and opinions The 'get appreciated’ intent induces a person to adopt a very elaborate style, with the sole aim of drawing attention to themselves

People having the same communication style can get on with each other and work together towards common goals However, when people with different intent and communication styles have to work together, several issues can crop up

In a scenario where people are trying hard to 'get it done’ but are not able to achieve the desired results, they tend to become more controlling (The Intimidator), (The Stealth Bomber), and (The Bombastic Blowhard) all become more controlling when they are faced with adversity

The people who are trying to 'get it right’ and instead find that things are going wrong, tend to focus more on beng perfectionists (The Silent Sleeper), (The It Will Never Work Person), and (The Complainer) all begin to pursue perfection when things are erroneously done

People wanting to 'get along’ but feel they are being sidelined, become approval seekers (The Politician and The Yes People) will make even greater efforts to seek approval, when they feel they're being ignored or rejected

People with a need 'to be appreciated’ who nurture feelngs of bemg inadequately recognized, seek more attention (The Oscar Goes To and The Fake It Till You Make It Person) try their hardest to seek attention whenever they feel unappreciated

Mastering Communication

When people feel, they are on the same page, there is less conflict and greater cooperation A technique known

as blending, is one where you mirror what the other person is doing as you are speaking to them; when we like and trust an individual, this is something we do without realizing it When dealing with someone difficult, we may do this to make them feel more comfortable

Blending rarely takes place in the workplace; people want to know, that you are listening to them and understand what they are communicating Nodding and making a noise as if to show you understand what the other person 1s saying, then repeating it back to them, is a simple way to show others you are listening to them

When we do this, the other person knows you are listening You then want to repeat back actual words they have used; doing this 1s a strong indication that you were listening to them

The third step is to get clarification of what is being said, and this can be done by asking questions This will give you more specifics, and will get the difficult person you are dealing with to act rationally Questions, demonstrate you are taking the person seriously, and the right questions will lead to quicker solutions

Summarizing 1s the fourth step; by repeating the discussion, you show you are on the same page and clarification can also occur, by filling in the blanks with missing information Cooperation is increased, since you show the difficult person that you are paying attention, and making a serious effort to understand them

The final step is to ask "do you feel understood?" This confirmation is so deliberate, that it shows you are focused

on the issue, and the difficult person is more likely to cooperate with you, thus resolving any issues

Be A Great Listener

We all want to be thought of as intelligent and clever; we all know a few people who think the way this happens

is by cracking jokes, and being a smart aleck In fact, the opposite is true, and instead you should listen to others, and what they have to say, which will result in their belief of your intellect and wit If you listen to them, you must be smart!

When you listen, you have the power, namely when dealing with difficult people Everyone wants you to know what position they hold on any given topic Listening allows us to learn what their needs are, but when you are dealing with difficult people, they will put you in an uncomfortable situation, and as a result, you may tune them out

By listening, you can learn about what others want; even early on, during the days of Freud, it was believed that if you allowed others to talk, they would tell you exactly what was on ther mind The opposite also rings true, so 1Í you don't want others to know what you are thinking, don't speak too much

When you listen, the focus isn't on you, so if you are self-conscious, this also takes some pressure off of you

To be a great listener, these are some techniques to consider:

1 Look at the individual who is speaking, as it shows all the focus is on them, and that you are completely tuned in

to what they have to say

2 Nod your head, smile if appropriate, and show you have an interest in what the other person is saying when they are speaking to you; if something is asked, comment on the topic

3 Leaning in is a way to show you are interested in what the speaker has to say

4 Asking questions clearly indicates you are listening to the speaker

5 Ask for more information, and don't interrupt, by drawing out the speaker, you will make them feel you are truly interested

6 Sticking to the topic they introduced is another way to show that you are interested in the conversation, and in what the speaker has to say about that topic

7 Get your pomt across by using the words the speaker is using You not only show you are listening to them, it is also a great way to get them to agree with you on the topic that you are discussing with them

Developing Your Inner Power

Personal power doesn't refer to mtimidation or force, but the power to validate one another, and satisfy one anothers ego, by accepting, approving, and appreciating each other This power, when used properly, can open the doors to all things that we desire

This chapter focuses on personal power Most of us don't understand the personal power we have over ourselves

or others

When you value others you will:

1 Acknowledge value other people possess; look at it this way A) If you were the only person on earth, how much could you accomplish? B) As one among millions, how much more could you do? Power is how others see you; if you want to possess more power, people have to view you as a powerful individual

2 If you make more of others, it makes more of you Giving credit where it is due is something you should do, and

it doesn't take away from your accomplishments - it shows you are strong and generous You will be admired as a person, especially by those you are giving the credit to

3 Acceptance of others is essential; you may not like them, but by giving others acceptance and not judging them, you are going to receive the power you seek

4 Try to seek out approval, even if you don't like the people who approve of you Each person has something worthy of approval; when others feel you approve of them, they will reciprocate the sentiment

5 See others individually, respect them and their time, and show appreciation of everyone

Improvement comes by accepting others, and giving them the acceptance you yourself want to receive It is a self fulfilling prophecy, and you will receive the appreciation and acceptance you seek in return When dealing with those who are difficult, your positive attitude towards them will be recognized, and they will cooperate with you

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