How to fly like a gentleman

Air travel. It certainly isn’t the same as it was during its “golden age” several decades ago. It’s even gone downhill from how it was just 15 years ago, when flights weren’t always full, you didn’t have to pay to check a bag, and you could make a mad dash to the gate to finally confess your feelings for a lover right before she got on the plane. (Not as dramatic to confront them in the security line, is it?) Sure, the Golden Age of Air Travel had its own drawbacks. Less flights, not as safe, and, a whole lot more expensive. The drop in ticket prices since the days when Pan Am ruled the skies has been a boon for the man of modest means who still wants to see the world (or, just his family a few states away for the holidays). On the flip side, the democratization of flight has turned it into something that has to be endured, rather than enjoyed. When you’re being herded through security and made to wait an hour and a half on the tarmac, it’s easy to feel more like a head of cattle than a traveling gentleman. But a gentleman always does what he must do, and regardless of the circumstances, makes things as pleasant and smooth as possible for those around him – friends and strangers alike. Through gestures big and small, he shows a respect for the needs of others and an awareness of how his behavior affects them. He knows his example encourages others to follow suit, and that the more individuals who choose to adopt common-sense manners, the more enjoyable life becomes for all. A small sacrifice in the present ends up benefiting not only other people, but himself as well.

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How to Fly Like a Gentleman

by Brett & Kate McKay on November 21, 2012 · 91 comments

in A Man's Life, On Etiquette

You stretch out your legs, take a look out the window to check the view at 31,000 feet, and then place the book you were reading on the empty seat next to you An attractive, smiling stewardess leans over, lays down a cloth napkin and silverware, and asks which of the three available hot entrees you’d like for your meal She quickly returns and sets down the dinnerware

in front of you As you dig into your delicious food, you can hear the sounds of music coming from the piano bar at the front of the plane…

….THUNK! With a kick to your seat from the toddler behind you, you awaken from your

daydream to find yourself wedged between a large, unbathed man in a tank top and a teenager blasting music on his headphones so loud you can hear every word of the lyrics of his favorite heavy metal band The flight attendant hands you a plastic cup of soda, along with a tiny bag

of pretzels, and quickly moves on

Air travel It certainly isn’t the same as it was during its “golden age” several decades ago It’s even gone downhill from how it was just 15 years ago, when flights weren’t always full, you didn’t have to pay to check a bag, and you could make a mad dash to the gate to finally

confess your feelings for a lover right before she got on the plane (Not as dramatic to

confront them in the security line, is it?)

Sure, the Golden Age of Air Travel had its own drawbacks Less flights, not as safe, and, a whole lot more expensive The drop in ticket prices since the days when Pan Am ruled the skies has been a boon for the man of modest means who still wants to see the world (or, just his family a few states away for the holidays)

On the flip side, the democratization of flight has turned it into something that has to be

endured, rather than enjoyed When you’re being herded through security and made to wait an

hour and a half on the tarmac, it’s easy to feel more like a head of cattle than a traveling

gentleman

But a gentleman always does what he must do, and regardless of the circumstances, makes things as pleasant and smooth as possible for those around him – friends and strangers alike Through gestures big and small, he shows a respect for the needs of others and an awareness

of how his behavior affects them He knows his example encourages others to follow suit, and that the more individuals who choose to adopt common-sense manners, the more enjoyable life becomes for all A small sacrifice in the present ends up benefitting not only other people, but himself as well

This was true of the gentleman when he traveled by stagecoach and by train, and just as true,

if not more so today, when he hops aboard a jet Here’s how to take to the skies like a classic gent

“To do nothing that can either annoy or offend the sensibilities of others, sums up

the principal rules for conduct under all circumstances—whether staying at home

or traveling.” Emily Post, Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at

Home, 1922

Pre-Boarding

Dress sharp Now, there’s no need to don a three-piece suit, but do kindly leave the pajama

pants and crocs at home No matter how seemingly pedestrian it’s become, taking a trip is still a special thing Dressing decently and with a little style can get you into that mindset and

heighten your experience, as well as add a bit of the old charm back into travel for you, and for your fellow passengers as well Putting on real pants that button will help your fellow travelers feel more like they’re getting away from it all, and less like they’re visiting a Walmart at midnight For advice on dressing for travel with both practicality and style in mind, check out these tips from Antonio

Be civil to the ticket

agents and other airline

employees Despite their

proximity to those

automated kiosks, ticket

agents are not machines

Just as you don’t berate a

waiter for a poor-tasting

dish, don’t take out your

understandable frustrations

on the ticket and gate

agents for flight delays and

other snafus they had no

hand in or power over Your

own disgruntlements feel

supremely important, but

understand they’re burdened

with dealing with the

disgruntlements of hundreds

of other folks just like you

every single day; it’s not

easy So by all means, be firm

in asking them to do all they

possibly can to

accommodate you when

things go awry, but do your

best to stay calm and cool, even friendly It will surely be a sigh of relief to the agent to deal with a rational and perhaps even smiling traveler for once And when an agent goes above and beyond the call of duty in helping you, be sure to tell them how much you appreciate it

Get through the security

check as quickly as

possible Have you ever

been standing in a security

line that snaked up and

down, knowing your flight

was going to take off in half

an hour, and sweating

whether you were going to

get to the gate on time?

Your blood pressure soars,

every minute that passes is

excruciating, and when you

see folks at the front of the

line moving very slowly and

not following the

clearly-marked instructions, your

eyes fairly bulge out of your

head

Sure, some people are late

because of their own dumb

choices, but sometimes it’s

because of something out of

their control, and they just

really, really want to catch

their flight home to their

family So next time you’re in

the security line, just imagine

there’s a guy behind you on

the verge of an aneurism

Plus, everybody, late or not,

truly appreciates moving through the chute as quickly as possible

Have your ID and ticket (or smartphone, nowadays) out and ready when you get to the first checkpoint Then take off your shoes and remove your laptop from your bag while there are still a few people between you and the conveyer belt When they say everything out of your pockets, they mean everything And once it’s your turn, move quickly and efficiently to load up your stuff and walk through the scanner

Don’t clip your nails while waiting in the gate area, and then leave your pile of clippings there Yes, dear reader, I saw this happen.

Boarding

Board the plane in an orderly fashion Whenever boarding is announced, people tend to

stampede to the door…and then creep forward in a giant line to get on the plane Unless

you’re flying Southwest, or are very concerned about finding overhead compartment space, there’s no rush I personally don’t want to be sitting in that flying capsule for any longer than necessary, and tend to wait until the line has died down to get on Even if you do want to board ASAP, wait until your “group” is called

Try to avoid smacking people with your bag as you make your way down the aisle Hold

your carry-on in a controlled fashion in front of you You don’t want to knock an old lady

unconscious with your Saddleback briefcase

Don’t try to avoid the fee

for check-in bags by

bringing a carry-on that’s

too big You know this guy –

he holds up the line of

people trying to get down

the aisle of the plane as he struggles against all odds to cram a bag that’s never going to fit into the

overhead compartment, and then finally has to give it to the flight attendant to check Saving money by avoiding the checked-bag fee is great, and so is traveling light, but make sure your bag will fit before you haul it onto the plane; most ticket counters have a measuring box that will allow you to verify this before you check in

Help people put their bags into the overhead

compartment If you see

someone struggling to put their bag up, offer a helping hand

Once you’ve put your

belongings in the overhead compartment, sit down.

Don’t stand there in the aisle rummaging through your bag

to find your Jujubes If you need something from your bag that you can’t grab easily, you should sit down, put the bag on your lap, and then return it to the

overhead compartment once you’re through

Let separated

couples/friends/family sit together If a couple gets

put in different rows, and you’re a single gent who

doesn’t care which seat he’s

in, offer to move so they can

sit together It means a lot to

folks

On our first flight with Gus,

Kate and I were pretty

nervous about keeping him

pacified, and were ready to

team up to do it So I was

really disappointed to find

out the airline, contrary to

our reservations, had put

Kate and Gus in a separate

row right behind me — the

very last row on the plane It

was one of those prop

planes that had two seats

on one side, and one seat on

the other The guy across

from Kate offered to switch,

but the guy sitting next to

me refused, saying he didn’t

want to sit in the back row

because the chairs didn’t

recline At that exact

moment, somewhere in the

world, a chivalrous kitten was

killed

Take Off (and

Landing)

Return your seat to the

upright position and turn

off your electronic device

when the flight attendant

asks Don’t be the guy who tries to squeeze in a few more minutes on the phone after they

make that announcement, and makes the flight attendant come by to give him a nudge

In Flight

Honor the unofficial code of armrest dibs Who gets which armrest? It’s always a little

awkward, isn’t it? No need to wrangle over them and throw elbows Here’s a sensible code of conduct: Each person gets at least one armrest In a three-seat row, the middle person gets the armrest on each side of him, while the person in the aisle seat gets the outside one, and the person in the window seat gets the one next to the window; the thinking here is that the

person in the aisle seat can lean into the aisle, the person in the window seat can lean into the window, but the man in the middle is stuck In a row with five seats, the person in the very

middle seat gets the two armrests around him, while the passengers to his left each take their left armrest, and the passengers on the right each claim the one on their right

Keep your kid as calm and occupied as possible Despite being separated on the

aforementioned flight, we were fine because we had a Gus-pacification battle plan: lots of books, snacks, trinkets, and, God’s gift to traveling parents: the iPad Cranky kids top the list of traveler pet peeves, so don’t bring a tyke along and expect him to spend his time browsing the SkyMall catalog Sure, it’s the crying itself that’s annoying, but equally frustrating is a parent

who ignores the meltdown while immersing herself in Fifty Shades of Grey Sometimes there’s

nothing you can do to turn off a kid’s waterworks, but fellow passengers will be more

understanding if you’re at least making an effort to walk ‘em back from the edge If you want to win over your seatmates even more, these parents had a pretty ingenious idea: hand out

goody bags of candy and earplugs to those seated around you!

Listen to your movies/music at a reasonable volume Airlines really cram people together

these days People’s heads are only a few inches apart during flight So don’t crank up the volume on your headphones, and treat your seatmate to the sound of every single explosion in

The Expendables.

Initiate conversation only when welcome It’s fine to chat with your fellow passengers a bit;

it’s a little strange that we sit side-by-side with people and never acknowledge each other whatsoever But if your seatmate doesn’t seem interested in engaging with you, don’t continue

to prattle on

If you end up next to an unwelcome chatterbox, follow Emily Post’s old advice to steamship passengers in the same scenario: “If you receive them with any degree of enthusiasm, your response may be translated into a willingness to talk But if you answer in the merest

monosyllables, it should be taken to mean that you prefer to be left to your own diversions.” If you really don’t want folks to talk to you, head off the possibility by slipping on some

headphones; doesn’t matter if sound is being emitted or not – it’s an unofficial “do not disturb” sign

Give those behind you a heads up when you’re going to recline your seat The person

seated behind you may have drinks or a laptop on their tray table, so don’t surprise them with a rapid recline of your seat If you can, turn around and let them know your seatback is incoming That’s easier to do in the aisle seat, and if you find giving the heads up awkward, at least

recline very slowly.

Don’t get up to use the head when the flight attendants are serving food and drinks.

There are plenty of good times to cram yourself into the plane’s tiny loo During the beverage service is not one of them Don’t create a game of chicken between you and the bev cart

Disembarking

Exit in an orderly fashion Get up row by row Once it’s your turn, gather your things as quickly

as possible and get going If you’re seated towards the back of the plane, and worried about making a connection, instead of charging into the aisle and trying to bulldoze your way to the front, ask a flight attendant before landing if there’s an available seat near the front of the plane to which you can be moved They’ll usually be happy to oblige

Thank the flight attendants and pilots They just safely hurtled a metal can eight miles above

the earth’s surface, without crashing into the Andes and forcing you to become a cannibal A tip of the hat is in order!

Baggage Claim

Stand a few feet away

from the edge of the

baggage claim conveyer

belt It may help you grab

your bag 2.5 seconds faster,

but standing with one’s shins

up against the baggage claim

conveyer belt blocks the

view of others who are

looking for their bag Stand

back a little No need to

bunch up right where the bag

comes out, either; pick a

different spot, wait 40

seconds, and the bag will

come right to you

Polish your monocle, sir

You’ve made it to your

destination safe and sound, and got there like a gentleman

All illustrations by Ted Slampyak

What are your tips on flying like a gentleman? Share them with us in the comments!

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