U1 getting to know ones self

UNIT 1: Getting to Know One’s Self Table of Contents Lesson 1: Taking a Look at Oneself Jump Start 4 Learn about It!. Learning Targets In this unit, you should be able to: ● explain th

UNIT 1: Getting to Know One’s Self

Table of Contents

Lesson 1: Taking a Look at Oneself

Jump Start 4

Learn about It! 5

Check Your Understanding 15

Explore Your World! 17

Lesson 2: Discovering My Uniqueness

GRADE 11/12 | Personal Development

UNIT 1

Getting to Know One’s Self

“No one is you, and that is your power.”

- Dave Grohl

Adolescence is a stage of self-discovery It is the time when young people build their identities and learn more about themselves as they go through life’s different changes and challenges The goal is not only to know oneself, but also to accept who one is With this acceptance is the power to make things happen and also, the power to build a life that he/she desires

Lulu’s Self-Exploration

Lulu is excited about trying out in different clubs this school year The rules state that each student is allowed to join a maximum of 3 clubs only for the year She has been thinking about it a lot, listing down a list of her strengths and weaknesses, her likes and dislikes After much thought, she decided to go for a sports team Lulu has her eye on the volleyball club since

she knows she’s a good player, and she has

a lot of experience playing the sport Her

tosses and spikes are to watch out for, and

her jumps are pretty impressive Aside

from sports, Lulu also knows that her

debate skills are also above average She

believes she must have taken this talent

after her father, who happens to be a

lawyer She can easily organize her

almost any topic given Lulu knows she speaks eloquently and can convey a message through both English and Filipino Clearly, for her, joining the debate team seems like a natural choice Lulu’s last choice was the cooking club Her friends do not know this skill she has, but at home, she can cook like a young master chef She grew up watching cooking shows, preparing meals for the family and even creating her recipes

She was just about to sign up for all these three clubs when her friends saw her and asked her why she wasn’t signing up for the dance club Lulu was caught by surprise for she never really thought about it Apparently, a lot of her friends thought she was a great dancer and would be a wonderful addition to the dance club She knew she could dance to a beat, but she didn’t really think she had potential to explore when it came to this skill Suddenly, Lulu was back to square one She had to re-think her skills list and what interests her

Learning Targets

In this unit, you should be able to:

● explain that knowing oneself can make a person accept his/her strengths and limitations and deal with others better;

● share his/her unique characteristics, habits, and experiences; and

Essential Questions

 How does one get to know himself/herself?

 What does knowing oneself mean?

 How does one keep track of his/her changing strengths and

weaknesses?

 What are the benefits of knowing oneself?

● maintain a journal

Lesson 1: Taking A Look At Oneself

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, a potential for growth, room for improvement, and limitations As one grows up, the knowledge about one’s self increases However, not everyone knows what to do with the information you have about yourself What does one gain when you know yourself?

Jump Start

Materials: paper, pen

Instructions:

Have you ever wondered what others thought about you when they first met you?

In this activity, you need to have a blank piece of paper tape on your back Afterwards, you may go around the room and make sure to write on your classmate’s backs about their first impression on you It can be a simple word or phrase that best describes your classmates during your first day of meeting You will be given 10 minutes to do the activity

Afterwards, answer the following questions:

 What do you know about yourself that you consider as strengths, and which ones are weaknesses?

Learn about It!

Ever since you were a baby, you

already possessed some knowledge

about yourself You would respond

to yourself in the mirror, and learn

to acknowledge your body As you

grow older, there are more

opportunities available that exist for

you to get to know yourself better

As you get to interact with more and

more people in your everyday encounters, your knowledge of yourself also becomes more complex This information you have of yourself can either become

an empowering tool or a delimiting one

Self-Concept

Everything that you know about yourself is called self-concept It is your perception

of yourself, how you define and understand yourself as a multi-dimensional (physical, spiritual, emotional, social, and moral) human being It, not only involve the present perception of you, but also take into play one’s past and future self – thereby, making self-concept a vibrant representation of who you are There are different ways that you can perceive yourself because of cultural differences and environmental factors However, among all these varying self-concepts lie three essential components: 1) physical characteristics, 2) personality traits, and 3) social identity

 Physical characteristics are used to describe how you look in either a positive

PAUSE FOR A THOUGHT

Do you know yourself? How did you learn these things about yourself? Where did the information come from?

Do you like what you know?

or negative way;

 Personality traits are the stable characteristics that determine your behavior;

and

 Social identity would refer to the social group where you belong Self-concepts

are never simple, given the differences in backgrounds of individuals

Self-complexity, or the different ways in which you think about yourself, can be

high or low according to researchers If you have a lot of social identities, such

as a daughter, student, volleyball team captain, friend, sister– you are said to have high complexity All of these components determine how you are different

or unique from others, and how you evaluate yourself against others

Self-Esteem

When you evaluate yourself against others based on your knowledge of yourself,

your self-esteem is affected Self-concept is greatly associated with self-esteem,

which is the value that you put on what you know about yourself It is a positive or negative self-evaluation of the self-concept that could be based on your performance or behavior or your interaction with others There are moments when you arrive at a distorted or inaccurate evaluation of yourself This is because

of the subjective nature of self-concept, wherein the information you have of yourself is heavily based on perceptions But in any case, your high or low self-

EXAMPLE

The self-concept regarding its three basic components

1) Physical Characteristics – “I am fair-skinned.” “I am chubby.”

2) Personality Traits - “I am trustworthy.” “I am outgoing.”

3) Social Identity – “I am the daughter of Leni.” “I am a Muslim.”

self-efficacy (the belief and confidence that you can accomplish tasks and control

your environment)

Self-Concept as a Product of Social Relationships

One of the propositions made about self-concept that directly affects self-esteem is that what you know about yourself is primarily a product of your relationships with others In 1902, American sociologist Charles Horton Cooley

popularized the concept of the looking glass self wherein he theorizes that people around

you serve as mirrors that reflect how you see yourself You merely reinforce others’ impressions and build this idea of yourself based

on these interactions And so, based on this, if you think that others have a negative perception

of you, this creates a negative self-concept and low self-esteem

REMEMBER ME!

 Self-concept: your perception of yourself, how you define and understand

yourself as a multi-dimensional (physical, spiritual, emotional, social, and moral) human being

 Self-esteem: a positive or negative self-evaluation of the self-concept

 Self-worth: how much you value yourself

 Self-efficacy: your belief and confidence that you can accomplish tasks

and control your environment

 Self-Complexity: the different ways in which you think about yourself

There are many social factors that

influence your concept and

self-esteem How you come to know who you

are is influenced by the ways other people

react to you When you receive positive

reactions to your skills and traits, you

develop a positive idea of yourself

However, when your behavior is ignored or

reacted negatively, your self-concept turns

sour as well and you end up with negative

judgments of yourself Comparing yourself

to others also affect what you know and

think of yourself If you perceive others to be more successful than you, it is probable that you do not think highly of yourself and vice versa However, of course, such comparisons can also be a source of motivation to make the self better and give more value to the self The extent to which you identify with other people around you is a factor in how you perceive yourself

Growing up, John has always been compared to his brother James James would always get better grades than him Everyone around John has, at one point or another, made him feel that he was not as smart as James He felt that his parents would only always praise James, and even his friends admired his brother He grew up believing that he was not good enough to

do well academically and so, in all his years in school, he just lived with what

he thought was the expectation of him He would fail exams, and repeat subjects left and right

TIP!

Factors that influence self- concept and self-esteem:

 the ways others react to

an individual

 the way an individual

compares himself to

others

 the extent to which an

individual identifies with

these other people

Self-Awareness

When one can access his knowledge of himself easily, that person is said to be

self-aware Self-awareness is the ability to know yourself extensively, not just

regarding traits and characteristics, but also knowing your inner state and how you think It is a deeper understanding of your emotions, belief systems, and patterns

in behavior and thought that should allow us to effectively redirect negative traits into positive ones if needed Therefore, to be self-aware, you must attempt to be non-judgmental and unbiased in assessing or understanding yourself

In 1972, psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund first studied self-

awareness and stated in the awareness theory that when you focus on

self-yourself, there is the tendency to compare what you currently observe to the standards you set for yourself And when there is a mismatch between your ideal self and your actual self, this becomes a source

of distress for you and is much likely to affect your self-esteem In the same way, if the ideal self is consistent with the actual self, you react positively This is what the

self-discrepancy theory states In effect,

people who are highly self-aware feel more pressure to live up to their ideals as compared to those who do not know themselves well enough

The goal then is to have a clear and defined self-concept Having high self-concept clarity helps you and your desire to become self-aware by providing a more stable

view of your positive traits This creates higher self-esteem and less vulnerability to the stress caused by inconsistencies between the actual self and ideal self The more well-defined and stable your self-concept is, the more capable you become in

addressing mismatches you will encounter of yourself

Self-awareness comes in two types: internal awareness and external awareness Internal self-awareness refers to clearly seeing your inner self–your personalities, values, desires, reactions, and impact on other people External self-awareness involves understanding how others see you The goal here is to attempt

self-to reach a balance of both types of awareness – self-to know yourself well and self-to receive feedback on how others see you

A study made by Dr Tasha Eurich for the Harvard Business Review shows four types of individuals and how you exhibit internal and external self- awareness It represents the different categories of your self-awareness with the mixture of its internal and external types This categorizes your knowledge of yourself and of others

REMEMBER ME!

 Self-Awareness Theory: When you focus on yourself, there is the

tendency to compare what you currently observe to the standards you

set for yourself

 Self-Discrepancy Theory: When there is a mismatch between your ideal

self and your actual self, this becomes a source of distress for you and is

much likely to affect your self-esteem

 Self-Concept Clarity: Having a clear and defined self-concept

Low External Awareness

High External Awareness High Internal

- you value others’ perceptions

of yourself with little regard to what is important to you

personally

Knowing Yourself and Dealing With Others

An individual who is well-aware of his strengths and weaknesses is an empowered individual If you are highly self-aware individual, you are more capable of being able to accept responsibility for your actions and more capable of being independent of the negative influences of others Because you are more observant

of yourself and your responses to certain situations, you can make smarter choices

in life, has more control of your experiences, and can also realize the need to change negative patterns of behavior when needed

Knowing yourself well also allows you to be able to deal better with others and in the process, create more meaningful relationships When you know who you are, you can openly communicate yourself and what you want to others This will create better understanding between yourself and others, and consequently, a more satisfying relationship Being accepting of your flaws and strengths makes it easier

to reach compromises when needed because you are secure about yourself and does not feel that your self-concept is being threatened Becoming self-aware includes learning to take responsibility for your actions instead of blaming others and the environment, which makes you clearly see other perspectives of an issue as well Awareness of the self leads to a more conscious way of acting towards others, instead of passively interacting with them This results in more empathy and compassion, a must in any healthy relationship Your awareness of your emotional needs, behaviors, interaction patterns, and a better understanding of yourself as a relational being allows you to become more conscious of your interactions with others, as well as make healthy decisions that affect yourself and others around you

EXAMPLE

Rica’s friends planned to sneak out of school that day to skip class and go to the mall to watch the latest movie of one of her favorite actors They tried to convince her to go with them by telling her that there weren’t any exams or quizzes that day for her to miss However, Rica, who is highly aware of herself, knew that it was wrong and she should not break the rules for a movie Not only would she be putting herself in danger, but she would also

be disappointing her parents who are working hard for her education As a sister to her younger siblings, she also knew that this going would not be a good example to them Rica thought of herself as a responsible student, and

so she did not sneak out with them

Steps to Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is important at any stage in your life Here are some ways to become more self-aware to be able to achieve success in relationships and other aspects of life

Ask yourself why Before you act or decide

on anything, it is always a good idea to know

why you are going to do what you are about

to do Understanding the intentions behind

your actions lets you to become more aware

of your thought processes and will allow you

to make smarter decisions

Delay gratification Being able to control

yourself by not quickly giving in to

temptations allows you to practice saying no

to negative influences that may affect you

later on This gives you a chance to

strengthen your sense of self

Take feedback constructively Learn to accept what others say about you and use

it to improve yourself Remember that self-awareness is a healthy balance between understanding yourself and how others see you

Let go of biases Before you make any auto-pilot reactions to a situation, make

sure you stop and think about the different sides of the situation Question yourself and challenge yourself as to why you believe in such things Be objective and re-assess your responses to others

Use tools to know yourself Experts have come up with different ways for

individuals to learn about their personality types, which are fortunately readily available to you online Knowing where you stand in the Myers-Briggs personality

TIP!

Steps to Become More Self- Aware:

 Ask yourself why

exam and introvert-extrovert spectrum, as well as reasonably assessing yourself through a SWOT analysis and Johari’s Window, can give you a better idea of who you are

Reflect often Taking time to think quietly through meditation or simple reflection

will help you become more self-aware Keep a journal to see how your thoughts and actions progress Learn from the mistakes you have made, and always keep yourself in check

Check Your Understanding

emotional, social, and moral) human being

2 theorized the looking glass self-concept

3 Individuals who value others’ perceptions of them with little regard to what is important to them personally are called

4 refers to the social groups that you belong and

is a basic component of your self-concept

5 Knowing yourself well can lead to better in relationships

B Answer each statement briefly and concisely

1 How does feedback help you in becoming self-aware?

2 How does awareness of the self lead to empathy and compassion in a relationship?

self-concept

Charles Horton Cooley

pleasers social identity

communication

3 What factors influence self- concept, and self-esteem?

C Read each situation well Answer as best as you can

1 Joel wants to get to know himself better through well-documented and well-constructed test types What can you suggest to him?

2 Some kids in Pia’s school think that she is a snob, but Pia doesn’t seem to mind Why do you think this is so?

3 Kevin feels stressed that what he thinks of himself doesn’t match what he

is experiencing in real life Why does he feel this way?

Explore Your World!

Task 1: Personal SWOT Analysis

Materials: pen, paper

Instructions:

In 10-15 minutes, make your SWOT analysis List down your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats Give at least two examples for each It can be a skill, a talent, a character trait, or anything that you think gives you an edge or puts you a step behind You will find some guide questions for each quadrant to help you Write a short explanation of your analysis Share with the class after

Strengths

 What am I good at?

 What do others think I excel in?

 What am I better at doing than other

 What do I need more practice in?

 What they don’t like about me?

Opportunities

 What opportunities are there that

can help me improve?

 What traits or skills do I have that I

feel have a lot of potential for

Task 2: Sell Yourself

Materials: any props available to students

Instructions:

Get a partner for this role-playing activity Choose which one will “sell” himself/herself to the other person The two of you must act out a scene where one tries to convince the other to approve of him/her because of his strengths and despite his weaknesses The scene can be anything from a job interview, or a talk show, or any creative situation Make sure to mention both strengths and weaknesses in the scene

Presence of at least 2 examples in each

quadrant

3

Clarity and depth of explanations/analysis 3

Grammatically correct sentences and

confidence during presentation

2

Presence of strengths and weaknesses in

dialogue

3

Ability of script to convince/persuade 3

Creativity and uniqueness of the presentation 2

Grammatically correct sentences and

confidence during presentation

2

Task 3: From Weakness to Strength

Materials: Manila paper/cartolina, markers

Instructions:

Form groups of 4-5 Each member will share one weakness they have to the group The group will now help each other come up with specific plans of action on how this specific weakness can be turned into strength or how that person can change for the better Write your group discussion on the Manila paper and be ready to share it with the class

Presence of one weakness for each member 3

Ability to provide effective way to transform

weakness into strength

3

Creativity and uniqueness of the presentation 2

Grammatically correct sentences and

confidence during presentation

2

A study from Brown University that was published in the

International Journal of Behavioral Medicine suggests that individuals

who are highly self-aware have better heart health In the study,

researchers measured the “mindfulness” of individuals by having

them rate different statements In the results, it was found that

those who were more “present” and aware with their thoughts,

feelings, and actions had scores that were as high as those indicators

for good cardiovascular health in the American Heart Association

Although nothing has been concluded, researchers are hopeful that

this can be the beginning of non-invasive, mindfulness interventions

for good heart health

Lesson 2: Discovering My Uniqueness

“Not all things are created equal.” This is a reflection that people may look similar but they have exceptional qualities that make them different from others These qualities may be helpful or not, but they add dimension to the personality of a person The distinctions that a person has contributed to the understanding that human behavior is never exact In a way, the differences among people have made

it possible for new ideas, inventions, and perspectives to take center stage and be used to help people

After the activity, you may reflect on this question: “What made you decide to choose an object despite its imperfection?”

Learn about It!

An essential characteristic among people is their distinctiveness Every person may share qualities that make them no different from others and yet they also possess qualities that make them stand out among others Human behavior explores the known, the unknown, the similar, and the different facets of people While it is considered as a young science, this field has provided a significant number of insights of how the qualities of people contribute to the understanding of their self, the environment around them, and how they can contribute to the development of their societies

It is a fact that people come from one

family but remain different from each

other Their individuality is due to

multiple factors like biological

attributes, upbringing, and societal

influences These factors are

combined to come up with “the self.”

Individual differences

It refers to the differences and similarities among

psychological way Wilderdom mentioned that Plato once said that

“No two persons are born exactly alike, but each differs from the

PAUSE FOR A THOUGHT

Imagine a world where every person looks and thinks the same? How would that world look like?

suited for one occupation and the other for another

The psychology of individual differences rests on the assumption that no two individuals are exactly alike in the manner of thinking, feelings, and behavior The classification of people have been recognized and practiced throughout the ages

Why is it important to know how different we are from others?

The study of individual differences is not just meant to cluster them in different demographics

Demographics It is the statistical characteristics of people like age, gender, religion

or socioeconomic status This information is meant to provide a quick view of how members of different groups are categorized However, a person is not just a part

of statistics The people may be categorized together, but there exist their individual preferences, hobbies, attitudes, religious beliefs and affiliations, political perspectives and more These varying factors, when combined, characterize a unique person

EXAMPLE

Examples of how men have been categorized:

Gender differences Men were the hunters while women were the

gatherers

Social groups or affiliations education, caste, and class

Occupations educators, doctors, IT professionals, businessmen

Knowing the characteristics that you have make you more comfortable in your decisions, actions, and attitudes You become aware that your individuality affects the others as well This knowledge makes you more attuned to others and makes you aware of the limitations and strengths of the people you mingle with

Your uniqueness make you able to make connections with other people; create innovations and novel solution to problems; make a positive impact and help people by being the source of joy and inspiration

REMEMBER ME!

Demographics It is the statistical characteristics of people like their gender,

their religion, their age, their marital status and the like The categorization and grouping are meant to provide a quick view of how members are grouped