HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM
5. Turn down the volume
The problem with negative self-talk is that it tends to be really loud and right there in your inner ear shouting at you. This next technique can be done outside of hypnosis. As always, you can use hypnosis too if you wish, but this is a practical technique you can use
‘live’ if negative self-talk creeps in.
Turn it down will you!
Step 1: Talk to yourself in your head for a moment. Talk about something neutral such as the weather or what you need to get from the supermarket.
Step 2: Visualise a dial in front of you. It might be on the desk next to your computer or it might be in the corner of your eye on a shelf or on your wrist like a watch. This dial has a scale of 0–10 on it. Ten is maximum volume and 0 is no sound at all.
Step 3: As you listen to yourself talking about something neutral, imagine being able to increase and decrease the volume of your self-talk. Practise making it really LOUD and making it really quiet and completely muted.
Step 4: Practise with the negative self-talk. Every time something pops into your mind, practise muting it. You may find the volume drops slowly or you may find you can instantly switch it off.
Keep practising.
Summary
It is not easy to change the way we think about ourselves, because this is something we have learned to do over many years. Changing how you think about yourself and the language you use will take time and practice.
Remember that the way you do anything is the way you do everything, which is to say that if you are messy at home, your trading area might be messy and if you are slap-dash in your approach to life, you may not be diligent when trading. But you can change all of that. If you spend time diligently working through this chapter and this book and make those positive changes, you’ll find yourself becoming diligent in other areas of your life as well.
Negative self-talk is an indicator for lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. Part Three offers some great techniques to increase your confidence and esteem.
O
CHAPTER SEVEN. The Role of Fear
ne of the biggest challenges traders must overcome is fear. This chapter has been designed to help you do just that. We will explore:
1. The role of fear
2. Activity: identifying your fears 3. Reframing your behaviours
4. Technique: conflict resolution reframe 5. Technique: fear release
6. Irrational fears and the funny trader technique
Fear can and will stop you from reaching your full potential as a trader. Even professional traders can be affected by fear from time to time. Fear comes in many shapes and forms and can have a wide variety of influences on how you trade.
Have you ever found that you talk yourself out of taking a trade? Fear can stop you entering trades when you can see the correct entry signal and you should be taking that trade. Fear can also mean you fail to exit a trade at the right moment and end up with larger losses. You might find yourself avoiding charts, procrastinating and making excuses so that you don’t trade. You may notice that you are missing important signals and information when you are reviewing the charts. Fear can also cause you to end a trade when you are in profit by a small amount rather than staying in to gain a larger profit.
Are you a system hopper? Do you find it hard to commit to one particular method or strategy? Are you unsure whether you want to be a day trader or prefer long-term trades, so try both? Are you in a situation where you can’t quite find what works for you? Being unable to commit is also a sign of fear.
You can be fearful of failing – failure as a trader, failing to make money, failure to prove yourself, failure to provide for your family, failing to be good enough at something. The list can go on.
You can also be fearful of success, which can lead to self-sabotage (as can fear of failure). Whenever I mention subconscious self-sabotage or a fear of success to clients, I nearly always get raised eyebrows or nods of agreement whereby many traders already recognise the element of self-sabotage. Indeed, I wonder if you are already identifying with some of these ideas.
Nonetheless, why wouldn’t you want to succeed? Why wouldn’t you want to trade well and why would you have reason to deliberately fail?
As you can see, fear can have a debilitating effect on how well you trade and how successful you are as a trader. The techniques outlined in this chapter are designed to help you reduce the impact of fear when trading and, even better, resolve it completely.
Earlier, we discussed the importance of affirmations and now is the perfect time to use an affirmation or two. It can either be one that you have created yourself or an example, such as, “I give myself permission to let go of any fear that I have, somehow, right now.”
Just spend a few moments using that affirmation before moving on to the next part of this chapter.