Writing in our personal lives has become markedly less formal over the past few decades, but it’s even more important than ever. E-mails and text
messages have taken the place of phone calls and face-to-face communication in many aspects of our personal lives. Clear written communication is critical for the smooth running of our personal business, relationships, families, and homes. Whether you’re writing an e-mail to your child’s teacher, a letter to fight a parking ticket, or a list of instructions for a babysitter, the ability to write clearly can mean the difference between peace and chaos. In this section you’ll find guidance on everyday writing tasks, personal business communications, notes and letters recognizing life’s milestones, and guidance on the world of writing for social media.
The Basics
ANNOUNCEMENT
(See also Engagement Announcement on page 117, Wedding Announcement on page 135, Birth Announcement on page 141, and Adoption Announcement on page 143.)
We write announcements for many of life’s milestones—most frequently for engagements, weddings, and births. Announcements may be published in newspapers, posted on websites, sent through the postal mail, or sent via e- mail. Although e-mail announcements are becoming more common, formal occasions still call for announcements to be professionally printed on card stock and sent through the postal mail.
Introduction
The purpose of an announcement is to inform the reader about a happening or a milestone in your life. Depending on the kind of announcement, your readers may be a diverse group, including people who know you well and others who don’t. Regardless, ensure that your announcement is complete. It’s worthwhile to
take some time to brainstorm your content to ensure you included all the relevant information. Announcements often follow a standard organizational template, partly to ensure that you don’t forget anything. Unless your
announcement is extremely simple, you should plan to go through more than one draft. It’s surprisingly easy to omit important information, so it’s wise to ask someone you trust to proofread your draft and revise it accordingly. Pay special attention to typos and other errors. If the event is important enough to announce, the announcement may be saved as a keepsake, so make sure it’s perfect!
DO DON’T
• Keep your announcement brief and concise. If you’re
announcing something like a new business launch, provide a website where readers can gather more information.
• Ensure your announcement is complete. Think “who, what, when, where, and why.” If you’re announcing an event, don’t forget essential
information like date, time, and place.
• Allow yourself to express pleasure if you’re announcing good news. If you’re
announcing bad news, get straight to the point and use a formal and businesslike tone.
• Proofread to ensure that your details—including names, dates, and locations—are accurate. If you’re having printed announcement cards made, ensure that the printer allows you to check a proof for accuracy before all the cards
• Don’t include extraneous information. The focus of your announcement should be
exclusively on the news you’re announcing. Don’t include long descriptions or explanations.
are printed. It can be costly to have announcements
reprinted, and it’s
embarrassing to have typos in a formal announcement.
DIVORCE ANNOUNCEMENT
As divorce has become more common, an increasing number of divorcing couples have taken to sending out formal announcements to their friends and associates to inform them of the news. Divorce announcements are typically handwritten or printed on cards and mailed out to people. Some couples choose to announce their divorce via e-mail. Some readers feel an e-mail announcement trivializes the event, so consider your medium of
communication carefully.
Introduction
The purpose behind a divorce announcement is simply to inform others of your decision and provide any new contact and
logistical information, not to supply information about “what happened” or to solicit anyone’s approval of your decision. The last thing you need to worry about at a time like this is other
people’s opinions. Keep your reader in mind as you compose your announcement. Take care not to make people more uncomfortable than necessary, for instance through the misplaced use of humor. Naturally this is an upsetting time, and it’s easy to forget important things. Brainstorm what you want to say. If you and your ex don’t draft the announcement together, it’s smart to share notes back and forth before you finalize a draft, to be sure you haven’t forgotten any critical information, made any errors, or
inadvertently insulted each other.
Your tone should be serious and businesslike. A matter-of-fact
announcement is easier for your readers to digest than an emotional one. In addition to collaborating with your ex, you might also want to show your draft to a good friend or close family member—someone you can trust to give you objective feedback. Revise according to their feedback.
DO DON’T
• Keep it brief. A long
description of how hard you tried to save your marriage or how bad (or relieved) you feel isn’t appropriate for a divorce announcement. Save this information for one-on-one communication with friends.
• Don’t try to be funny. Humor is very difficult to achieve
successfully in a divorce announcement. Sometimes couples try to soften the blow by writing a funny
announcement. These often fall flat and leave the reader feeling uncomfortable.
• Keep your tone civil and serious.
• Provide new contact
information as necessary—for instance, if one or both parties will have new mailing
addresses or home phone numbers. Let readers know when that new information will be in effect.
• Relay any other changes in the status quo that readers might need to know: for instance, if someone is changing their name as a result of the divorce. Readers who have contact with the children (teachers, scout
leaders, etc.) will need to know if the children’s primary
address will change.
• Maintain your dignity. You may be experiencing a flood of
emotions right now, but
• Don’t delve too deeply into emotions. It’s just good manners to express regret about the end of the marriage, but there’s no need to explore your feelings beyond that.
• Don’t talk about the reasons for the divorce. It’s not
anyone’s business. Protect your dignity and privacy by withholding personal details.
These discussions are better left for face-to-face meetings with friends.
• Don’t mention any of the terms of the divorce settlement. It’s personal information.
• Don’t mention any logistical arrangements (for the children, etc.) that have not been
agreed to by both parties and finalized.
• Don’t explain arrangements for the children in the
consider what your divorce announcement might look like to you—and your children—
twenty years from now. You can vent all you want to your friends, but don’t say anything you’ll regret in your written announcement.
• Make sure your ex-spouse knows you’re sending the announcement and knows, basically, what’s in it; the point of a divorce announcement is to make things easier, not to stir up new conflict.
announcement. Your custody arrangements fall under the category of “no one’s
business.”
• Don’t go overboard in praising each other. Some couples try to soften the blow by saying wonderful things about each other. No matter how good your motives, though, this approach can make readers uncomfortable.
• Don’t put in an e-mail anything you don’t want to reach a
wider audience. Remember that e-mails can be forwarded.
Protect yourself from embarrassment or worse.
• Don’t send the divorce announcement to readers’
work e-mail accounts, unless they are strictly work
acquaintances. Send a written card or use personal e-mail accounts.
NOT LIKE THIS . . . Dear Friend,
It is with heavy hearts that we announce that after 14 years of marriage, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. We have worked hard and diligently, with the help of our pastor, to avoid having to make this decision.* In the end, we felt that we have simply drifted too far apart for our marriage to continue to be viable.† Our divorce became final last month.
Lisa will remain in the house, which will also continue to be Devin and
Kerry’s primary home. Ken will be at 47329 Moorcroft Parkway, #27E, from March 24 and will see the boys on the weekends.‡ Our cell phone numbers will remain the same.
We leave this marriage saddened but full of love and respect for one another. We remain the best of friends, and we look forward to productive and fulfilling years ahead raising the boys as a team.§
Lisa and Ken Hoyt
Annotations
* Providing this much personal information is unnecessary and might make readers uncomfortable.
† There’s no need to explain why you’ve decided to divorce. Keep this very personal information to yourself.
‡ It’s no one’s business what custody arrangements have been made. Paradoxically, the more personal information you supply, the more people will feel entitled to question you. If you want to nip curiosity in the bud, don’t say too much.
§ It’s nice to reaffirm your respect for each other, but Lisa and Ken are taking it a bit too far here. Some readers are going to feel very uncomfortable, and others are going to wonder why this couple is divorcing if they think so highly of each other.