Tài liệu The complete guide to the toefl ibt writing part 7 ppt

An outline of a typical Independent Writing Task might look like this: Introduction Paragraph 1 Introduction to the general topic Statement of your opinion or preference thesis statement

THE RESPONSE

Your response on the Independent Writing Task should be about 300 words long

The Independent Writing Task asks you to express your opinion about the issue

in the prompt Which side of the issue you choose to support is up to you; there is

no “right” answer You need to clearly state your opinion (usually in the introduc- tion to your response) In the body of the response, you need to explain and support your opinion In the conclusion, you need to restate or explain the significance of your opinion

An outline of a typical Independent Writing Task might look like this:

Introduction Paragraph 1 Introduction to the general topic Statement of your opinion or preference (thesis statement) Body

Paragraph 2 Key point #1 of the passage Examples, reasons, and details that support your opinion or preference Paragraph 3

Key point #2 supporting your opinion or preference Examples, reasons, and details that support your opinion or preference Paragraph 4

Key point #3 supporting your opinion or preference Examples, reasons, and details that support your opinion or preference Conclusion

Paragraph Summary or statement showing the significance of your opinion Other possible ways to organize Independent Responses are given in Lessons

THE WRITING PROCESS

You have thirty minutes in which to write the response for the Independent Writing Task You should divide your time more or less like this:

Pre-Writing

(two to five minutes) Read the prompt

Think about the prompt

Brainstorm and take notes

Make an informal outline

Writing the Independent Task

(twenty to twenty-five minutes)

Checking Your Writing (two to five minutes)

Look for and correct problems with content, grammar, and mechanics

SCORING THE INDEPENDENT WRITING TASKS

Like the Integrated Writing Task, the Independent Writing Task is scored by two raters who scote it holistically

Scores on the Independent Writing Task range from 0 to 5 Each rater assigns a

“whole number” score to the response (0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Your score will be the mean

of the two ratings If one rater gives you a 3, for example, and another rater gives you a 4, you will receive a score of 3.5 If the two raters give you scores that are quite different, a third rater will read the response

The following rubric (set of guidelines or standards) is similar to the one used

by ETS to score the Independent Writing Task

Score Explanation of Score

5 Strongly indicates the ability to write a well-organized, well-developed, and logical

response Specific examples and details support the main ideas All of the elements

of the response are unified and cohesive A variety of sentence structures are used successfully, and sophisticated vocabulary is employed Grammatical and mechanical errors are infrequent but a few minor mistakes may occur

Indicates the ability to write an organized, developed, and logical response The

main ideas are adequately supported by examples and details Sentence structure

may be less varied than that of a level 5 response, and vocabulary less sophisticated

Grammatical and mechanical errors appear

Indicates some ability to write an acceptable response, but involves weaknesses in

organization and development Sentence structure and vocabulary may lack

sophistication, and there may be frequent grammatical and mechanical errors

Indicates the inability to write an acceptable response Organization and

development are weak May lack unity and cohesion Few specific details are given in

support of the writer's ideas If details are given, they may seem inappropriate

Significant and frequent errors in grammar occur throughout the response, making it

difficult to understand the writer’s ideas Writer may not have fully understood the

response prompt

Strongly indicates the inability to write an acceptable response No apparent

development or organization Sentences may be brief and fragmentary and

unrelated to each other Very significant grammatical and mechanical errors occur

throughout the response and make it very difficult to understand any of the author's

ideas Writer may have completely misunderstood the response prompt

Did not write an response, did not write on the topic, or wrote in a language other

than English

SAMPLE RESPONSES

Following are five responses, each illustrating one of the five scores They are writ- ten in response to the following prompt:

Some people believe that money spent on space research benefits all of humanity Other people take the opposite view and say that money spent on this type of research is wasted Tell which point of view you agree with and explain why, using specific details and reasons

Response I

It has become quite a common proverb that “there is no free lunch.” Another way to say this is that spending money always has it’s “opportunity cost.” In other words, money spent on some venture could have been used for financing some other alternative venture

Some people believe that money spent on space research has a benefit for all people Other people believe that there are better opportunities for spending this fund The first group of people say that space research has helped all peo- ples’ lives very much They point out that research on space has informed us about many environmental damages which we have caused to our planet

Similarly, they say that today’s modern satelite system is due to the research done in the past on space There are also many new materials and inventions that can be traced directly to space research These people want to spend more money on research, visit all the planets, and build space colonies

In the other hand, there are people who think that money spent on space is

a complete wastage because it does not have enough direct benefit to all of the humanity For example, billions of US$ were spent on the Project Apollo and they only brought back a bag of rocks In the meanwhile, there is a sizeable

portion of the humanity that does not have any access to food, education,

sanitation, health care, and especially peace

Personally, | find that | cannot allign myself completely with either group | have some reservation about both positions No one can deny that weather satelites and communication satelites are a good investment But | think that

“unrealistic” research like exploring Mars or Venus does not have any good bearing on most of humans’ development at the present time Some scientists may be interested in the composition of those planets, but the opportunity cost

is too much In my opinion, it is like the poor man who wants to buy diamond jewlry when his family does not have enough food to eat or clothes to wear

Score: 5

Comments: This writer clearly understands the assignment and gives supporting information for both arguments The essay is well organized, and the writer shows that he or she can say things in more than one way, uses idioms and verb tenses appropriately, and chooses clear and concrete examples to support his or her position

Response 2

Some people do really believe that space reseaches benefit all of humanity And it’s quite understandable because all the history of humanity development is connected with the space discovers From the beginning people have been looking the sky and observing the star’s movements and their influence For example, everyone knows about astrology and how ancient people try to pre- dict the future using knowledge of the stars

The present space discovery started in 1957, when the sputnik was launched The first person flew in the space in 1961, and after several years first Americans landed on moon

Nowdays space researches can solve a lot of problems, For example, reseaches with new materials and technologies Such materials can be used in medicine, chemistry, and etc With the help of space satellites we can observe the atmosphere around the Earth and that’s why we can try to predict storms and so on, Through such observation we can save people’s lifes and decrease destructions, also we can solve problems with the different kinds of pollutions of ocean and atmosphere

However, it is quite understandable the position of those who say that space researches are wasted There are to many places where the main problem of life

is to survive My native country once was part of Soviet Union, where the big first steps in space were taken | see people there who works hard and doesn’t receive enough or any salary | wonder if they approve the space researches?

But I’m sure that if we concentrate only on the question of how to survive,

the humanity will lose the reason for development If we refuse from space

researches, or any kind of the scientific researches, we will stop moving forward

And the absence of moving forward means the death of the humanity’s spirit

That’s why | agree with the statement

Score: 4

Comments: This essay shows that the writer has a good command of English

vocabulary and grammar usage While the essay is generally coherent and

provides details, the writer sometimes digresses and provides unnecessary

information This essay would be more on track if the writer took a position in

the opening paragraph and supported his or her position more clearly in the

remaining paragraphs

Response 3

Well, about the topic, | think that there are others subjects much more impor-

tant to be researching One of them, and to me the most important one, is the

health The cancer cure is not totally developed yet The number of AIDs’ vic-

tims multiplying at an incredibly way

So, although | find in “space” a very fascinating and misterious subject, |

agree with the opposite view that the money spend on it is wasted when are so

many people dying around the world as a result of unknown diseases or not

having answers or cures for the ones we already known, or because is not

enough money for purification of the water, vaccines for the diseases, or training

the doctors

More money for the education is also very important More schools and

good teachers are needed

| believe cientifics should focus “health” in the first place and then to extend

the researches in other fields

Score:_ 3

Comments: This writer understands the assignment yet answers it by telling the

reader what other things are more important before stating his or her position

on the topic The writer shows that he or she has some knowledge of English

vocabulary, but there are errors in sentence structure, grammatical usage, and

overall clarity

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Response 4

At the first the research in any thing is very useful for people because without

research we will not development our life, so that | believe the money spent in

space research benefit the humantity

Maybe the other side people think that the money which paid for these

research is so much and if we paid it for poor people it well be help him in they

life and help him for many thing like food or healthy or any way of they life

But the people which agrees with have a lot of point for example: one of this is the life must be development Other point, the rule materials become less and we must find a new one and must find new resource of power, so that they agree with a research in space

Score:_ 2 _

Comments: This writer’s essay is very short and does not adequately take a position and give supporting information The ideas are not fully developed The writer’s knowledge of sentence structures is limited, and word forms are not always used properly, making this essay difficult to follow

Response 5 the peoples take the opposive view because we don’t buy something one time and we don’t see another things that is a save way the money is important things for this reason to spent money the peoples need to be very cerfully ihave two opinion for spent money the money important to spent all humanty, because this point very important i’m not agree money wested in the futurre very important

Score: 1

Comments: This essay is very disorganized The writer uses very limited vocabulary and provides no details, making this essay difficult to understand There are significant errors in every sentence The punctuation is incorrect, and

EXERCISE: SCORING THE RESPONSE Directions: Here are three responses based on the passage below Read each response and, using the scoring rubric on pages 650-651, decide what score (1 to 5) that you would give each response

This exercise will help you develop the ability to score your own responses

Some people believe that money spent on space research benefits all of humanity Other people take the opposite view and say that money spent on this type of research is wasted Tell which point of view you agree with and explain why, using specific details and reasons

Response 1

When we think that mony spent space reserches, are two opinins Some peoples beliefe that we can reserche benfits all of humanity, But on the othrt hand, peo- ple take opposite view say that this type research is wasted the mony and we have limitation this kinds reserches In my opinin | agree last one

We, humen, reserche our space all time until now and we spending a lots mony this kinds reserches Some peoples think if we use expansive machines and spent a lots money we can make all kinds reserches about humanity In fact,

we found many benfit from these reserches and recive benfits, For example, we

could gone to moon But, sometime, even although spent a lots money, we

cant find results and spent a lots time, furthermore, some acident which we

cant expect happen, such as Challenger acident The reson why, space is not

man-made but nature lt means we cant expect and investigate exactlty

Because, they are nature, therefore they change all the time We, humen, have

follow this changes

In my opinin, we cant reserche whole things Because, they are nature and

change all the time

Score:

Response 2

Space research is an integral part of the modern civilization Certainly this kind

of scientific research needs a huge amount of investment And of course, there is

a lot of competition for very rare intelectual and fiscal resources In other words,

there are a lot of alternative investment opportunities for these resources that

could benefit humanity

Space research is a long-run investment process The benefits out of this

kind of research, once implemented, have a tremendous positive influence on all

of the world | want to take a position in favour of this type of research

Space research, particularly as related to developments of satelite technol-

ogy, may bring many positive development in the area of eradicating the root

causes of many problems prevailing in this world The most important to con-

sider is poverty Following are the scope of satelite technology-related research:

a) remote sensing

b) weather forecasting

c) early warning of any calamaties

d) long-range forecasting of weather for the agriculture

e) impact assessment of el nino and la nina conditions

Development of Global Positioning System (GPS) using satellite-driven infor-

mation may contribute in modern infra-structure planning Another aspect of

satelite technolgy is the Geographical Information System (GIS), now playing

pioneering role in information technology having resource-saving opportunities

for development, and the saved resources can always be used for betterment of

humanity

All and all, | can’t help to believe that in the long-run, space research is one

of the optimal investments that humanity can do

Score:

Response 3

The use of money is very important In the pre-historic period, the human per-

son has not money The products were only changed one against another This

is called the barter process but one epoque of pre-history was called the

“Homo faber” period That means the human persons learned to deviop the

human conditions of living They learned to make objets After this, the value of

products could be determine with money A widespread proverbe of the french people tells us that the money serves very well the people but the money also is the worst master for the people who become enclosed by money

Aristote is the father of science He begun the psychic and philosophic and

scientific research Then there is the invention of mendicaments, the invention

of planes, the invention of computer, all these invention are the resultat of

research in science

Surely, the research is important but the resultat of research can be negative while it can also be positive What about the research of the space? all of us saw the spectacular pictures of the earth from space and of international space sta- tion and shuttle So are these pictures worth billion of dollars used annually around the world?

Some people say that expenditures on space research have no effect and is comletely useless It does not enter the progress of the human people it has no relation to our life and actually does not do us any good

All of us benefit from the research of the space It advances the theoretical

body of many sciences, like physics, astronomie, chemistrie etc It also has more

tangible accomplisments in the way it improve the technology we can use in our every day life For example, we can all enjoy a diversity of TV chanels and the satellite predictions of the weather There is also a positive influence on peo- ples health and natural disasters

But the resultats of the space research not divided fairly among the human persons Scientists recive the best effects of it Also the rich nations benefit more than the poor ones such as our african nations

In concluding, the money spent for space is very important and has a lot of benefits for all us | think we should embrace it But the resultats of that research should be divided fairly among all the persons of the world

Score:

¢ When the directions for the Independent Task appear, click on the Dismiss Directions button and begin working right away

¢ Read the prompt carefully You must write on the topic exactly as it is given Give yourself time to think about the prompt and to plan your response by taking notes and writing a simple outline

* The prompt will ask to give your opinion, to support one side of an issue, or

to give your personal preference Make it clear what your opinion is or what you prefer and why Remember, there is no “right answer.” You should choose the side that is easier to support

e Use concrete examples and specific reasons Whenever you make a general statement, support it with specific examples If you state an opinion, give reasons

INDEPENDENT WRITING PREVIEW TEST

The second writing task in the Writing Section is an “independent” task It involves

writing a response to a question using your own experience and background

knowledge

Now read the directions for the second writing task

Directions: Read the question below You will have thirty minutes to write your

essay This includes the time to plan, write, and revise your essay A typical

response should be a minimum of 300 words Your essay will be rated on the cor-

rectness and quality of your writing, including the way you organize your essay and

develop and support your ideas If possible, write your responses on a computer

Some people believe that zoos serve useful functions Other people believe

that it is cruel and wrong to confine animals in zoos Tell which point of view

you agree with and explain why, using specific details and reasons

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PRE-WRITING THE INDEPENDENT RESPONSE

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You should spend about five minutes “pre-writing” your essay for the Independent Response What should you do during this time? You have three main tasks:

1 Read the essay prompt (topic) carefully

2 Brainstorm (think about) the prompt

3 Plan your response

During the second and third tasks, you should take notes to use as an outline when you write the response

Try to spend no more than five minutes on pre-writing, but don't skip this stage altogether—it’s a very important use of your time!

(A) Reading the Prompts

In some ways, carefully reading each prompt is the most important step of the entire process If you don’t understand the prompt, you can’t properly respond to it

If you write an essay that does not fully respond to the prompt, you will receive a lower score, no matter how well you have written the response

The prompts for the Independent Response tend to be written in very simple English If any of the vocabulary is difficult, it is usually explained Not only do you need to read the prompt carefully, you also need to understand what it is asking you to do You need to analyze the prompt—to be able to paraphrase it (put it into your own words) and to explain to yourself what it asks you to do (You don’t need

to do this analysis in writing, only mentally.) Read the following analyses of the sample prompts given in the Preview Test and About the Independent Writing Task

Some people believe that zoos serve useful functions Other people believe that it is cruel and wrong to confine animals in zoos Tell which point of view you agree with and explain why, using specific details and reasons

Analysis

This prompt says that there are two opinions about zoos Some people believe that zoos have a positive purpose Others think that zoos are harmful to animals To respond to this prompt, I have to decide which of these positions I want to support IfI choose to defend zoos, I must think of some good purposes that zoos serve On the other hand, if I choose to emphasize the negative aspects of zoos, I must think

of ways in which zoos are damaging or unsafe for animals or are not useful for the humans who pay for these zoos through their taxes