Something Wicca This Way Comes

Piper walks through the front door.] Piper: Prue?. Piper, I would of been here to meet the electrician myself but you know I can't leave the museum until six.. Prue: Look, the only reaso

Something Wicca This Way Comes

Written by: Constance M Burge

Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick

up behind her She turns around.) What are you doing here? (The man pulled out a knife and plunged it in her stomach.)

[Scene: Halliwell manor Piper walks through the front door.]

Piper: Prue?

Prue: In here, working on the chandelier

Piper: Sorry I'm late

Prue: What else is new? Piper, I would of been here to meet the electrician myself but you know I can't leave the museum until six I didn't even have time to change

Piper: I just didn't realise how long I was in China town Did Jeremy call?

Prue: No, but he had some roses and a package delivered What were you doing in China town? I thought that you had an interview in North Beach

Piper: I did but I went to Young Lee market after my interview to get the ingredients for my audition recipe tomorrow

Prue: So, that wolfgang-puck knock-off didn't hire you then?

Piper: No, but this just may get me the job

Prue: Jeremy sent you port?

Piper: The ultimate ingredient for my recipe Oh my God, I don't believe it Tell me that's not our old spirit board?

Prue: Yeah, I found it in the basement when I was looking for the circuit tester

Piper: (Reading the inscription on the back) "To my three beautiful girls May this give you the light to find the shadows The power of three will set you free Love, Mom." We never did figure out what this inscription meant

Prue: Well, maybe we should send it to Phoebe That girl is so in the dark, maybe a little light will help

Piper: You're always so hard on her

Prue: Piper, the girl has no vision, no sense of the future

Piper: I really think Phoebe's coming around

Prue: Well, as long as she doesn't come around here I guess that's good

news

Opening Credits

[Scene: The witch's apartment Police are there.]

Darryl: Well, it's about time

Andy: I got here as soon as I heard Another dead female, right? Mid to late twenties

Darryl: I've been paging you for over an hour, Trudeau, where have you been?

Andy: Checking out a lead

Darryl: What lead?

Andy: One that didn't go anywhere

Darryl: You're avoiding my question

Andy: Because you don't want to know that I went to an occult shop

Darryl: You hate me don't you? You wanna see me suffer

Andy: I wanna solve these murders Someone's after witches

Darryl: Women

Andy: That woman up there, I bet she was killed with an athame

Darryl: Wrong Double edged steel knife

Andy: Right That's an athame It's a ceremonial tool Witch's use them to direct energy

Darryl: That woman didn't direct jack She was stabbed Plain and simple

Andy: Was she found in an altar?

Darryl: Yes

Andy: Were there carvings on that altar?

Darryl: Just do me a favour Don't even follow a lead without checking with

me first

Andy: You wanna go to occult shops?

Darryl: Get to work okay

Jeremy: Jeremy Burns San Francisco Chronicle You care to comment?

Andy: A woman was stabbed Plain and simple

Jeremy: Well, that's the third one in three weeks

(Andy walks off.)

[Scene: Halliwell manor Prue is fiddling with the circuit tester.]

Prue: I don't get it I have checked everything, there's no reason why the chandelier should not be working

Piper: You know how we've been talking about what to do with the spare room? I think you're right, we do need a roommate

Prue: We can rent the room at a reduce rate in exchange for some help around the house

Piper: Phoebe's good with a wrench

Prue: Phoebe lives in New York

Piper: Not anymore

Prue: What?

Piper: She left New York She's moving back in with us

Prue: You have got to be kidding

Piper: Well, I could hardly say no It's her house too Grams left it to all three of us

Prue: Yeah, months ago and we haven't seen or spoken to her since

Piper: Well, you haven't spoken to her

Prue: No, I haven't Look, maybe you've forgotten why I'm still mad at her

Piper: No, of course not but she had nowhere else to go She lost her job, she's in debt

Prue: And this is news? How long have you known about this anyway?

Piper: A couple of days, maybe a week-or two

Prue: Thanks for sharing When does she arrive?

(The front door opens and Phoebe walks in.)

Phoebe: Surprise! I found the hide-a-key

Piper: Phoebe, welcome home

Phoebe: Hello, Piper (Piper and Phoebe hug.)

Piper: It's so good to see you Isn't Prue?

Prue: I'm speechless

(A car horn beeps.)

Phoebe: Oops I forgot about the cab

Piper: I'll get it (She grabs Prue's purse.)

Prue: Piper, that's my purse

Phoebe: Thanks I'll pay you back

Prue: Is that all that you brought?

Phoebe: That's all that I own and a bike Look, I know that you don't want

me here

Prue: We're not selling Grams' house

Phoebe: Is that why you think I came back?

Prue: Look, the only reason Piper and I gave up our apartment and moved back here because this house has been in our family for generations

Phoebe: No history lesson needed I grew up here too So can we talk about what's really bothering you?

Prue: No, I'm still furious with you

Phoebe: So, you'd rather have a tense reunion filled with boring chitchat and unimportant small talk?

Prue: No, but otherwise we won't have anything to talk about

Phoebe: I never touched Roger

Prue: Whoa

Phoebe: I know you think otherwise because that's what that wearing, Chardonnay-slugging, trust-funder told you

Armani-(Piper comes back in the house.)

Piper: Hey, I have a great idea Why don't I make a fabulous reunion dinner

Prue: I'm not hungry

Phoebe: I ate on the bus

Piper: Okay, we'll try the group hug later

[Scene: Phoebe's room Phoebe's stands in front of the mirror The news is

on the TV but she's not really watching it Piper knocks on the door.]

Piper: It's me

Phoebe: Come on in (Piper is carrying a tray with drinks and food on it.) Thank God I am starving

Piper: Figured (She sees Jeremy on TV.) Hey, that's my boyfriend, Jeremy What happened?

Phoebe: Some woman got whacked

Piper: Whacked? Phoebe, you've been in New York way too long

Phoebe: Yeah, I should of stayed Now, why didn't you tell her I was coming back?

Piper: And risk her changing the locks? I don't think so and besides, I think you should of been the one to tell her not me

Phoebe: Good point, Chicken Little It's just so hard for me to talk to her She's always been more like a mother

Piper: That's not her fault She practically had to sacrifice

Phoebe/Piper: Her own childhood to raise us

Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, yeah

Piper: And we're lucky she was so responsible You and I had it easy, all

we had to do was be there

Phoebe: Yeah, well, I don't need a mum anymore, you know, I need a sister

(Prue knocks on the door She's holding a blanket.)

Prue: This was always the coldest room in the house

Phoebe: Thanks

(Prue leaves.)

[Scene: The murdered witch's apartment Andy and Darryl are there along with people Andy looks at the tattoo on her neck It's a full circle with three interlocking arcs inside.]

Andy: It's the same tattoo that was on the other two victims

Darryl: So, the murderer is killing occults

Andy: No, the murderer's on witch hunts

Darryl: Oh, yeah, he's five to eight years old and he lives in Salem Look around, Trudeau Pentagrams, altars, offerings, all the tools of a freak fest

Andy: They call them Sabbaths Which is hardly a freak fest She was a solitary practitioner She practiced her craft alone

Darryl: Mmm

Andy: Let me ask you something, Morris Do you believe in U.F.O.'s?

Darryl: Hell, no

Andy: Neither do I But do you believe that there are people out there who

do believe in U.F.O.'s?

Darryl: Yes, but I think they're crazy

Andy: Well, then why can't you believe that there are people who believe they are witches

Darryl: Look, all I know is if you don't stop talking about witches, I'm gonna start questioning you (Kit jumps up on the bench She meows Andy goes over and pats her.) I'd stay away from that cat, Trudeau It's been clawing the crap out of everybody See you at the car

(He leaves Andy looks at Kit's collar It has the same symbol on it that was tattooed on the witch.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Halliwell manor Piper and Phoebe are sitting at the table playing with the spirit board.]

Phoebe: When did you meet Jeremy?

Piper: About six months ago - right before Grams died We met in the hospital cafeteria the day Grams was admitted He was covering a story and I was bawling over a bagel So, he handed me a napkin

Phoebe: How romantic

Piper: As a matter of fact it was The napkin had his phone number on it (Phoebe laughs.) Stop pushing the pointer

Phoebe: I'm not touching it

Piper: You used to always push the pointer More popcorn?

(She gets up and heads for the kitchen.)

Phoebe: Hey, I forgot your question

Piper: (from the kitchen) I asked if Prue would have sex other than herself this year

Phoebe: That's disgusting Please say yes (The pointer moved to the letter 'A' by itself.) Piper (It then moves to 'T'.) Piper, get in here!

Piper: What?

(Prue comes in.)

Prue: What did you guys do now?

Piper: Me? I didn't do anything

Phoebe: The pointer on the spirit board It moved on its own (Prue and Phoebe stare at her.) I'm serious It spelled 'A' 'T'

Piper: Well, did you push it?

Phoebe: No

Prue: You used to always push the pointer

Phoebe: My fingers were barely touching it Look (She puts her fingers on the pointer Nothing happens Prue and Piper turn and start to leave The pointer moves to the bottom of the board, then back to the letter 'T'.) Ah, it did it again! It moved!

(Prue and Piper turn back around and look at the board.)

Prue: It's still on the letter 'T'

Phoebe: I swear it moved (Prue leaves the room The pointer moves again Piper sees it too.) There (She stands up.) Look You saw that right?

Piper: I think so, yeah

Phoebe: I told you I wasn't touching it (The pointer moves again.)

Piper: Prue, can you come in here for a sec?

(Prue comes back in the room.)

Prue: Now what?

(Phoebe writes the letters down on an envelope.)

Phoebe: I think it's trying to tell us something (She holds up the envelope.) Attic

(There's a loud clap of thunder and the power goes out.)

[Cut to the foyer Piper is walking towards the door Prue is following her.]

Prue: Don't you think you're overreacting? We're perfectly safe here

Piper: Don't say that In horror movies, the person who says that is always the next to die

Prue: It is pouring rain There's a psycho on the lose Jeremy's not even home

Piper: Well I'll-I'll-I'll wait in the cab until he gets home

Prue: That'll be cheap

Piper: Prue, I saw that pointer move

Prue: No, look, what you saw was Phoebe's fingers pushing the pointer There's nothing in the attic, she's playing a joke on us

Piper: We don't know that We've lived in this house for months and we've never been able to get that attic door open (She crosses the foyer and picks up the phone.) Great, now the phone doesn't work

Prue: Yeah, the power's out Look, go with me to the basement

Piper: What?

Prue: I need you to hold the flashlight while I check out the main circuit box

Piper: Phoebe will go with you to the basement won't you Phoebe

Phoebe: Nope, I'm going to the attic

Prue: No, you're not We already agreed

Phoebe: I am not waiting for some handyman to check out the attic and I'm certainly not waiting until tomorrow I'm going now

(Phoebe walks up the stairs Prue goes into another room.)

Piper: Prue, wait

[Cut to Phoebe She tries to open the attic door but it's locked She gives up and turns to walk back down the stairs She hears a creak and turns to see the attic door opening She walks inside A light shines on a trunk and she walks over to it

She opens it and there's a book inside She picks up the book and blows the dust off She opens it.)

Phoebe: "The Book of Shadows." (She turns the page and starts reading.)

"Hear now the words of the witches, the secrets we hid in the night, the oldest of Gods are invoked here, the great work of magic is sought In this night and in this hour, I'll call upon the ancient power, bring your powers to we sisters three, we want the power, give us the power."

(Prue and Piper enter the attic.)

Prue: What are you doing?

Phoebe: Uh reading an incantation It was in this Book of Shadows, I found it in that trunk

Piper: How did you get in here?

Phoebe: The door opened

Piper: Wait a minute, an incantation? What kind of incantation?

Phoebe: It said something about there being three essentials of magic Uh, timing, feeling and phases of the moon If we were ever gonna do this, now - midnight on a full moon - is the most powerful time

Piper: This? Do what?

Phoebe: Receive our powers

Piper: What powers? Wait, our powers? You included me in this?

Prue: No, she included all of us (Reading from the book.) "Bring your powers to we sisters three." It's a book of witchcraft

Piper: Let me see that

[Cut to outside A man is standing outside their house.]

[Cut back to inside They are walking down the stairs.]

Prue: Spirit boards, books of witchcraft It figures all this freaky stuff started when you arrived

Phoebe: Hey, I wasn't the one who found the spirit board

Prue: But it wasn't my fingers sliding around on the pointer

Piper: It doesn't matter Because nothing happened, right Phoebe, when you did that incantation?

Phoebe: Well, my head spun around and I vomited split-pea soup How should I know?

Piper: Well, everything looks the same

Phoebe: You're right

Prue: But the house still needs work

Piper: Everything feels the same, so nothing's changed

[Cut to outside The man that was standing there slowly walks off.]

Commercial Break

[Scene: Outside Halliwell manor Phoebe's sitting on the stairs drinking coffee Piper comes out.]

Piper: You're up early

Phoebe: I never went to sleep

Piper: Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and spent the night flying around the neighbourhood on a broomstick?

(She sits down next to Phoebe.)

Phoebe: The only broom I've ever had was kept in a closet beside a mop

Piper: So what were you doing?

Phoebe: Reading Is Prue around?

Piper: She went to work early Reading aloud?

Phoebe: No According to the Book Of Shadows, one of our ancestors was

a witch, named Melinda Warren

Piper: And we have a cousin who's a drunk, an aunt who's manic, and a father who's invisible (She stands up.)

Phoebe: I'm serious She practiced powers Three powers She could move objects with her mind, see the future and stop time Before Melinda was burned at the stake, she vowed that each generation of Warren witches would become stronger and stronger, culminating in the arrival of three sisters (They walk to

Piper's car.) Now, these sisters would be the most powerful witches the world has ever known They're good witches and I think we're those sisters

Piper: Look, I know what happened last night was weird and unexplainable, but we're not witches and we do not have special powers besides, Grams wasn't a witch and as far as we know, neither was mum (Piper kisses her on the cheek.) So take that Nancy Drew (She gets in her car.)

Phoebe: We're the protectors of the innocent We're known as the charmed ones (Piper drives off.)

[Scene: The Museum of Natural History.]

Roger: There's been change of plan

Prue: Change of plan regarding the Beals expedition?

Roger: The extra money that you help raise through private donations has sparked significant corporate interest The Beals artefacts will now become part of our permanent collection

Prue: Well, that's terrific

Roger: Which is why the board wants someone a little more qualified to handle the collection from now on You look surprised

Prue: I don't know why I'm furious Not only have I been on this project since its inception, but I'm the curator who secured the entire exhibition You're the person a little more qualified aren't you?

Roger: I could hardly say no to the board of directors, could I? But I know you'll be happy for me, after all, what's good for me is definitely good for you Right, Miss Halliwell?

Prue: Miss Halliwell? Since when did we stop being on a first-name-basis? When we stopped sleeping together or when I returned your engagement ring, Roger?

Roger: I didn't realize the two were mutually exclusive Although I certainly enjoyed one better than the other

Prue: Bastard! (She turns to leave.)

Roger: Prue, wait (She stops.) I feel like I should say something if only to avoid a lawsuit (She leaves Roger's pen in his pocket leaks and gets a blue ink spot on his shirt He takes the pen out of his pocket and it squirts in his face.)

[Scene: Quake Piper is in the kitchen making her audition meal Just as she's pouring the port wine in a measuring cup, Chef Moore enters the kitchen.]

Chef Moore: (In his French accent) Your time is up Let's see (Reading the index card.) Roast pork with gratin of fennel and penne with a port giblet sauce

Piper: Chef Moore

Chef Moore: What?

Piper: Uh, the port

Chef Moore: Yes, without the sauce it is nothing more than a salty marinara

A recipe from a woman's magazine Puh!

Piper: I didn't have time for