A translation quality assessment of the vietnamese version of the nover the notebook by petal lê (2010) using peter newmarks model

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF POST-GRADUATE STUDIES---- ----BÙI THỊ MAI ANH A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE V

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF POST-GRADUATE STUDIES



BÙI THỊ MAI ANH

A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE

VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE NOVEL THE

NOTEBOOK BY PETAL LÊ (2010) USING PETER

NEWMARK’S MODEL

(Đánh giá chất lượng bản dịch tiếng Việt của tiểu thuyết Nhật ký (2010)

do Petal Lê dịch theo mô hình của Peter Newmark)

M.A MINOR THESIS

Field: English Linguistics Code: 60.22.02.01

HANOI, 2014

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF POST-GRADUATE STUDIES



BÙI THỊ MAI ANH

A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE

VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE NOVEL THE

NOTEBOOK BY PETAL LÊ (2010) USING PETER

NEWMARK’S MODEL

(Đánh giá chất lượng bản dịch tiếng Việt của tiểu thuyết Nhật ký (2010)

do Petal Lê dịch theo mô hình của Peter Newmark)

M.A MINOR THESIS

Field: English Linguistics Code: 60.22.02.01

Supervisor: Assoc Prof Dr Lê Hùng Tiến

HANOI, 2014

DECLARATION OF AUTHORSHIP

I hereby state that the thesis entitled “A translation quality assessment of the

Vietnamese version of the novel The Notebook by Petal Lê (2010) using Peter Newmark’s model” is the result of my research for the Degree of Master of Arts at

University of Languages and International Studies, Vietnam National University,Hanoi, and the thesis has not been submitted for any degree at any other university ortertiary institution

Hanoi, 2014Student

Bùi Thị Mai Anh

This study would not have been completed without the support of many people,

to whom I am profoundly grateful

First and foremost, I would like to express my most sincere gratitude to Assoc.Prof Dr Lê Hùng Tiến, my supervisor, for his invaluable advice, fervent guidance andenthusiastic support during all the stages of this research Without his advice andindefatigable perseverance, I would not have been able to complete this paper

Besides, I want to show my appreciation to my mother and my husband whoseencouragement represents the best inspiration I have ever had Their energy andenthusiasm always help me move forward, over tiredness and boredom wheneverything seems to be in the middle of nowhere

This experience would never have been my satisfaction, at least for now, without

my friends and colleagues who gave me helpful advice, suggestions andencouragement during my exhaustion

ii

This thesis examines the translation quality assessment of the Vietnamese

version of the novel The Notebook translated by Petal Lê The Introduction states the

rationale for the study as well as establishes the objectives, scope and methods of thestudy

The main part of the thesis starts with the theoretical background which presentsissues relevant to the study comprising translation, translation methods, translationequivalence and translation quality assessment After all the theories have beenintroduced, the researcher evaluates the Vietnamese version of the book using PeterNewmark‟s model The five-step model has been followed strictly with the emphasis

on step 3, also known as the heart of the critique

In the last part of the study, the critic summaries what she has gained afterassessing the translation in order to answer the research questions set in the first part.Suggestions for further studies are also offered

TABLE OF CONTENTS

DECLARATION OF AUTHORSHIP i

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ii

ABSTRACT iii

ABBREVIATIONS iv

PART A: INTRODUCTION 1

1 Rationale for the study 1

2 Objectives of the study 2

3 Scope and method of the study 2

3.1 Scope of the study 2

3.2 Method of the study 2

4 Design of the study 3

PART B: DEVELOPMENT 4

1 Theoretical Background 4

1.1 Translation Theory 4

1.1.1 Definition of Translation 4

1.1.2 Translation Methods 4

1.1.3 Translation Equivalence 5

1.1.3.1 Definition 5

1.1.3.2 Types of Equivalence 6

1.2 Translation Quality Assessment 8

1.2.1 Definition 8

1.2.2 Translation Quality Assessment Models 8

1.2.2.1 Juliane House‟s Model 8

1.2.2.2 Peter Newmark‟s Model 9

2 Evaluation of the Translation basing on Newmark’s Model 12

2.1 A brief analysis of the source language text 12

2.1.1 The author‟s purpose 12

2.1.2 Characteristic of the readership 12

2.1.3 The topic 12

2.2 The translator‟s interpretation 13

2.2.1 Omission of original text 13

2.2.2 The translator‟s method 16

2.2.3 The translation‟s likely readership 16 2.3 Comparison of the translation with the original 17

2.3.1 The title 17

2.3.2 The structure 18

2.3.2.1 Simple sentences vs Compound sentences 18

2.3.2.2 Active vs Passive voice 19

2.3.2.3 Order of clauses 24

2.3.2.4 Use of antonym 24

2.3.2.5 Change of subject 24

2.3.3 Proper names 25

2.3.3.1 People‟s names 25

2.3.3.2 Geographical names 26

2.3.3.3 Other names 27

2.3.4 Hierarchical pronouns as a cultural feature 28

2.3.5 Borrowed words 29

2.3.6 Puns 31

2.3.7 Some minor issues 32

2.3.7.1 Spelling mistakes 32

2.3.7.2 Mistranslation 32

2.3.7.3 Sentences that sound unnatural in the target language 34

2.4 An evaluation of the translation 35

2.5 Potential importance of the work within the target language culture 36

PART C: CONCLUSION 38

1 Concluding remarks 38

2 Suggestions for further studies 39

REFERENCES 40

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PART A:

INTRODUCTION 1 Rationale for the study

As the acclaimed translator Edith Grossman writes in the Preface of her book Why

Translation Matters (2010), translation has a transcendent significance: “Translation not only

plays its important traditional role as the means that allows us access to literature originallywritten in one of the countless languages we cannot read, but it also represents a concreteliterary presence with the crucial capacity to ease and make more meaningful ourrelationships to those with whom we may not have had a connection before Translationalways helps us to know, to see from a different angle, to attribute new value to what oncemay have been unfamiliar As nations and as individuals, we have a critical need for that kind

of understanding and insight The alternative is unthinkable.” Literary translation, on the top

of that, is the one effective way to enhance intercultural understanding Not every one has thechance to know well even one foreign language to appreciate a literary work that they soyearn for It is translation and translators that fill the gap and open up new worlds forbooklovers to explore

Globalization and integration have created great opportunity for a huge amount offoreign literary works to come within reach of Vietnamese readers While booklovers alwayshunger for new literary works to come out, translators, at the same time, have to cope withenormous workload of translating the originals as fast as possible This makes translation ademanding and tough job that requires not only broad cultural background knowledge but alsoenthusiasm, professional conscience and scrupulousness However, every now and then,owing to objective and subjective reasons, the translated versions still contain mistakes ofvarious types There are even translated works that cause translation disasters and spark offvigorous debates With thousands of literary translations published every year by hundreds ofpublishers in Vietnam, translation quality control seems an impossible task Besides highly

appreciated and well-received translation works such as Wuthering Heights and Gone with the

Wind by Dương Tường, Harry Porter series by Lý Lan, The Twilight Saga by Tịnh Thủy,

there remain works of poor quality, for example, the Vietnamese version of Harry Porter and

the Order of the Phoenix by Trần Thắng Minh (Văn hóa – Thông tin Publisher, 2003), The da Vinci Code by Đỗ Thu Hà (Văn hóa – Thông tin Publisher, 2006), The Elementary Particles

by Cao Việt Dũng (Đà Nẵng Publisher, 2006), The Things They Carried by Trần Tiễn Cao Đăng (Văn học Publisher, 2011), Seal Team Six by Đoàn Châu Hoài Giang (Alphabooks

Publisher, 2012) These translated versions have received a great deal of criticism since theirpublication due to their vocabulary, grammar, style, spelling, typing mistakes that even an

ordinary reader cannot bear Therefore, this minor thesis would like to concentrate on theevaluation of one literary translation in order that readers and booklovers can have betterconception and comprehension of some models of translation quality assessment initiated bynotable linguists in the world such as Juliane House and Peter Newmark.

Since the limitation of a minor thesis, Juliane House‟s model and Peter Newmark‟smodel will be introduced and Newmark‟s will be selected as the main means to evaluate the

Vietnamese version of The Notebook by Petal Lê to reveal the good points and bad points of

the translated texts with regards to the original In addition, the author would like to look intothe outstanding equivalence types the translator has achieved in translating this popularliterary work so that other translators can get some experience from him

2 Objectives of the study

The study covers the following aims:

 To assess the translation quality of the translated version of the novel The Notebook

in terms of the aspects discovered from theories raised by different scholars including JulianeHouse and Peter Newmark with Newmark‟s model as the main criteria

 To suggest some implications for the translation of literary works

To successfully achieve the above aims, the thesis seeks to answer the two research questions:

 How good is the Vietnamese version of The Notebook according to Newmark‟s

model?

 What recommendations can be made from the translated version?

3 Scope and method of the study

3.1 Scope of the study

The work of fiction The Notebook consists of twelve chapters in total Since this is a

story of logical coherence and requires complete penetration, the researcher finds it is a goodidea to evaluate the translation text on a general basis However, due to limitation of time forthis study, certain emphasis on highlights of this fiction will be presented

3.2 Method of the study

Since this is the study to evaluate the translated version of The Notebook by Petal Lê, a

theoretical insight into some different translation quality assessment models by differentlinguists is necessary Peter Newmark‟s model, for its advantages in terms of applications,will be used as the major criteria for evaluating the Vietnamese version of the novel

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The following steps will be taken First, the original text will be read meticulously andcomprehensively Secondly, the translated text will be read separately Finally, the source textwill be compared to its translation under the framework of Newmark‟s translation qualityassessment model According to his model, there are five main steps towards translationquality assessment and they are going to be followed step by step.

 Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects

 Step 2: The translator‟s interpretation of the SL text‟s purpose, his translation method and the translation‟s likely readership

 Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original in terms of both semantics and syntactic

 Step 4: An evaluation of the translation

 Step 5: Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in thetarget language culture or discipline

4 Design of the study

The study consists of three main parts:

2 Evaluation of the Translation basing on Newmark‟s Model

In this part, Newmark‟s five-step translation quality assessment model aforementioned

will be applied in assessing the Vietnamese version of The Notebook by the well-known

author Nicholas Sparks

Part III: Conclusion

The final part is the discussion of the results of this study It concludes the strengths andweaknesses of the translator basing on the application of the model Suggestions andimplications for other translators are also offered, especially in the field of literary works

PART B: DEVELOPMENT

1 Theoretical Background

1.1 Translation Theory

1.1.1 Definition of Translation

The term translation itself has several meanings: it can refer to the general subject field,

the product (the text that has been translated) or the process (the act of producing the

translation, otherwise known as translating) The process of translation between two

different written languages involves the translator changing an original written text (the

source text or ST) in the original verbal language (the source language or SL) into a written

text (the target text or TT) in a different verbal language (the target language or TL).

There are some definitions of translation In Approaches to Translation, Newmark

(1982:7) states “Translation is a craft consisting in the attempt to replace a written messageand/or statement in one language by the same message and/or statement in another language.”According to Bell, R.T (1991:5), “Translation is the expression in another language (or TL) ofwhat has been expressed in another, SL, preserving semantic and stylistic equivalences.”Translation is the procedure which leads from a written SL text to an optimally

equivalent TL text, and which requires the syntactic, semantic, stylistic and text pragmatic comprehension by the translator of the original text (Wilss, 1982:112)

Translation is the replacement of a representation of a text in one language by a

representation of another equivalent in a second language (Hartman & Stock, 1972)

Translation consists in reproducing in the receptor language the closest natural

equivalent of the source language message, first in terms of meaning and secondly in terms

of style (Nida & Taber, 1974:12)

It is observed that the above definitions by different scholars in different times includethe two significant factors: the qualities of the original text covering meaning, style, syntacticand pragmatic issues and the equivalence in the translation

1.1.2 Translation Methods

Newmark (1988) suggests eight methods of translation as followed:

Source Language Emphasis Target Language Emphasis

Word-for-word translationAdaptation Literal translation Free translation Faithful translation Idiomatic translation Semantic translation Communicative translation

Word-for-word translation: The SL word-order is preserved and the words translated

singly by their most common meanings, out of context Cultural words are translated

literally 4

Literal translation: The SL grammatical constructions are converted to their nearest

TL equivalents but the lexical words are again translated singly, out of context

Faithful translation: A faithful translation attempts to reproduce the precise contextual

meaning of the original within the constraints of the TL grammatical structures It attempts to

be completely faithful to the intentions and the text-realization of the SL writer

Semantic translation: Semantic translation differs from „faithful translation‟ only in as

far as it must take more account of the aesthetic value It may translate less important culturalwords by culturally neutral third or functional terms but not by cultural equivalents Thedistinction between „faithful‟ and „semantic‟ translation is that the first is uncompromisingand dogmatic, while the second is more flexible, admits the creative exception to 100%fidelity and allows for the translator‟s intuitive empathy with the original

Communicative translation: Communicative translation attempts to render the exact

contextual meaning of the original in such a way that both content and language are readilyacceptable and comprehensible to the readership

Idiomatic translation: Idiomatic translation reproduces the „message‟ of the original

but tends to distort nuances of meaning by preferring colloquialisms and idioms where these

do not exist in the original

Free translation: Free translation reproduces the matter without the manner, or the

content without the form of the original Usually it is a paraphrase much longer than theoriginal, a so-called „intra-lingual translation‟, often prolix and pretentious, and nottranslation at all

Adaptation: This is the „freest‟ form of translation It is used mainly for plays and

poetry; the themes, characters, plots are usually preserved, the SL culture converted to the TLculture and the text rewritten (1988: 45-47)

1.1.3 Translation Equivalence

1.1.3.1 Definition

From the definitions of translation by different scholars, it is clear that equivalence isthe central issue in Translation Studies

Andrew Chesterman, in Readings in Translation Theories (p100), describes that there

are “various categories of equivalence that have been proposed in the literature of translationtheory: content equivalence (often also: content invariance), stylistic equivalence, formalequivalence, functional equivalence, textural equivalence, communicative equivalence,pragmatic equivalence.” From the view point of Juliane House (1977:25), meaning

equivalence is the most essential in translation: “The essence of translation lies in the

preservation of meaning across two different languages.”

“SL and TL texts or items are translation equivalents when they are interchangeable in agiven situation,” (Catford, 1965:49)

Newmark (1995:48) states that “The overriding purpose of any translation should be to

achieve equivalent effect, i.e to produce the same effect (or one as close as possible) on the

readership of the translation as was obtained on the readership of the original.” In thisstatement, Newmark emphasizes the importance of functional equivalence as “the overridingpurpose of any translation.”

Koller cited in Readings in Translation Theory (Chesterman, A., 1989) views

equivalence in term of the maintenance of the SL and TT quality According to him (1979),the equivalence requirement of a translation to its origin is as follows: “Quality (qualities) X

in the source language text must be preserved.” The qualities can be understood as thedifferent characteristics the source text has, which must be preserved in the translation text.These characteristics may include the style, meaning, readership and purpose of the text.According to Baker, equivalence at word level covers a number of factors relatingnumber, gender, and part of speech She claims that different grammatical structures in the SLand TL may cause remarkable changes in the way the information or message is carriedacross (noun phrase in SL can be translated as verb phrase in TT)

1.1.3.2 Types of Equivalence

Translation theorists tend to classify equivalence in accordance with different criteria

and approach Some of the most outstanding ones are form-based, meaning-based,

function-based and quantitative equivalence.

1.1.3.2.1 Form-based Equivalence

An extremely interesting discussion of the notion of equivalence can be found in Baker(1992) who seems to offer a more detailed list of conditions upon which the concept ofequivalence can be defined She distinguishes between:

• Equivalence that can appear at word level and above word level, when translating from

one language into another This means that the translator should pay attention to a number of factorswhen considering a single word, such as number, gender and tense (1992:11-12)

• Textual equivalence, when referring to the equivalence between a SL text and a TLtext in terms of information and cohesion It is up to the translator to decide whether or not tomaintain the cohesive ties as well as the coherence of the SL text His or her decision will be

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guided by three main factors, that is, the target audience, the purpose of the translation and thetext type.

1.1.3.2.2 Meaning-based Equivalence

Koller (1979) considers five types of equivalence:

• Connotative equivalence: this type of equivalence provides additional values besides

denotative value and is achieved by the translator‟s choice of synonymous words or

expressions

• Text-normative equivalence: The SL and the TL words are used in the same or similar

context in their respective languages

• Pragmatic equivalence: With readership orientation, the SL and TL words have the

same effect on their respective readers

• Formal equivalence: This type of equivalence produces an analogy of form in the

translation by their exploiting formal possibilities of TL, or creating new forms in TL

1.1.3.2.3 Function-based Equivalence

Nida (1974) distinguishes formal equivalence and dynamic translation as basic

orientations rather than as a binary choice:

• Formal equivalence is achieved when the SL and TL words have the closest possible

match of form and content

• Dynamic equivalence is achieved when the SL and TL words have the same effect on

their effective readers

• Many-to-one equivalence: there is more than one expression in the source language

but there is a single expression in target language which is equivalence to them

• One-to-part-of-one equivalence: A TL expression covers part of a concept designated

by a single SL expression

• Nil equivalence: no TL expression is equivalent to a single SL expression, therefore,

loaned/borrowed equivalents should be used

1.2 Translation Quality Assessment

1.2.1 Definition

In his book, A Textbook of Translation, Peter Newmark, naming translation quality

assessment as translation criticism, defines it as essential link between translation theory andits practice

Another scholar, Malcolm Williams at University of Ottawa, gives a more apparentdefinition of translation quality assessment according to several aspects: evaluating sources(their usefulness and authenticity), evaluating authors and their translators (their aesthetic,their influences and how this informs their work), evaluating source texts and evaluating

target texts Therefore, translation quality assessment is a type of evaluation It can be

quantitative or qualitative: it can be based on mathematical/statistical measurement (as in the

case of most academic instruments) or on reader response, interviews and questionnaires (e.g

Nida) Translation quality assessment can be diagnostic (determining areas for improvement

at the outset of a course of study), formative (measuring progress and giving feedback during

a course of study) or summative (measuring the results of learning) He finally concludes that

whether our focus is on products, performance or competence, we are essentially trying todetermine degrees of goodness when we perform translation quality assessment Theapproach can be prescriptive, assessing translation against criteria of aesthetic effect,usability, and intrinsic compliance with standards of target language correctness and fidelity

1.2.2 Translation Quality Assessment Models

Models of translation quality assessment have been proposed by a number of famousauthors such as Wilss (1974), Koller (1974), or Reiss (1974) Among them, Peter Newmark(1995) and Juliane House (1997) are the two brilliant researchers who create their ownmodels to repair the deficiency and limitation of the preceding authors

1.2.2.1 Juliane House’s Model

Juliane House‟s model was first designed in the mid-1970s (House, 1977, 2d.ed.1981)and recently revisited (House, 1997)

In House‟s functional-pragmatic model of translation evaluation which is based on atheory of translation as re-contextualization, translation texts are doubtly contextually bound:

to their originals and to the new recipients‟ contextual conditions This double linkage is thebasis of the equivalence relation – the conceptual heart of translation Since appropriate use of

language in communicative performance is what matters most in translation, it is functional

pragmatic equivalence which is crucial This type of equivalence underpins this functional

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translation model The model explicates the way semantic, pragmatic and textual meaning arere-constituted across different contexts.

– Translation is conceived as the replacement of an L1 text by a semantically andpragmatically equivalent L2 text An adequate translation is then a pragmatically andsemantically equivalent one

– A first requirement for this equivalence is that a translation text has a function

equivalent to that of its original

– The function of a text – with its ideational and interpersonal components – is simplythe application of a text in a particular context, and there is a systematic relationship betweencontext and the functional organization of language-in-text, which can be revealed by

breaking down context into a manageable set of „contextual parameters‟ To grasp a text‟s meaning, it must be referred to the particular „context of situation‟ which envelops it

Such a view of function and context-text underlies the analytic framework of the model.According to Lê Hùng Tiến (2006), the model of translation quality assessment has a clearlinguistically theoretical base and concrete, detailed steps However, this model alsorequires linguistic knowledge and high professional skills of the critics and the criticismmainly aims at researching languages and translation Therefore, this model has not beenapplied widely and just at experimental level in Translation Studies

1.2.2.2 Peter Newmark’s Model

Peter Newmark made an attempt in 1988 to propound a theory of translation pedagogyrevolving around the notion of text His theory is aimed at trainee students, and so his book,

entitled a textbook, has actually been chosen in many translation-teaching contexts His model

of translation based on Nida and Taber‟s model Newmark starts explaining his theory from

the question: what is translation? He suggests that it is often, but not always, rendering the

meaning of a text into another language in the way that the author intended the text Thismeans the text is pulled in ten different directions:

1 The individual style or idiolect of the SL author

2 The conventional grammatical and lexical usage for the type of SL text, depending

on the topic and the situation

3 Content items referring specifically to the SL culture

4 The typical format of a SL language text in a book, periodical, newspaper, etc., as influenced by the tradition at the time

5 The expectations of the putative readership, bearing in mind their estimated

knowledge of the topic and the style of language they use, expressed in terms of the largest

common factor

6 The conventional grammatical and lexical usage for the type of TL text, depending

on the topic and the situation

7 Content items referring specifically to the TL culture

8 The typical format of a TL text in a book, periodical, newspaper, etc., as influenced

by the tradition at the time

9 What is being described or reported, ascertained or verified

10 The views and prejudices of the translator, which may be personal and subjective,

or may be social and cultural

This can be visualized as followed:

(Carrové, 1999)

Newmark defines translation as the reproduction in the receptor language of the closet

natural equivalent of the source-language message, firstly in terms of meaning and secondly

in terms of style This idealized definition of translation brings as a consequence a series of

polar distinction which force the translator to choose content as opposed to form, meaning as

opposed to style, equivalence as opposed to identity, the closest equivalence as opposed to

non-equivalence, and naturalness as opposed to formal correspondence These

decision-10

making processes carry the misleading underlying message of ideal, one-to-one and perfectmatches between languages.

His theory is also based on an unrealistic three-level activity process, by which

translators receive, analyze the SL text and then transfer it into the TL However, professional

translators and scholars alike have demonstrated that translators do not first receive andanalyze an SL text and then transfer it into the TL, but that the process of reception andanalysis operate according to the purpose of translation Thus, the translator does not receiveand analyze the SL in a neutral way, but with a view to translating it for a certain purpose.The eclectic approach proposes a five-step learning process of translation to help studentstackle the source text and its translation more confidently and with more and better arguments

to account for their decisions Therefore, rather than getting students to proceed following alinear structure (receive – analyze – transfer), they learn to approach the text from differentangles and perceive the different factors existing in the translation such as linguistic, extra-linguistic, pragmatic or professional

Newmark (1988) gives his own model of translation quality assessment called

“comprehensive criticism of a translation” including five practical steps which will be applied

in evaluating a specific translated version in this thesis

 Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects

This may include a statement of the author‟s purpose, that is, the attitude he takes towardsthe topic; characterization of the readership; an indication of its category and type

 Step 2: the translator‟s interpretation of the SL text‟s purpose, his translation method and the translation‟s likely readership

 Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with theoriginal in terms of both semantics and syntactic You do not take the points successively; yougroup them selectively under general heads: the title; the structure, including the paragraphing andsentence connectives; proper names; cultural words; shifty metaphors; translationese; neologisms;

„untranslatable‟ words; ambiguity; level of language; and, where relevant, meta-language, puns,sound-effect

 Step 4: an evaluation of the translation: – (a) in the translator‟s terms, (b) in the

critic‟s terms, (c) as a piece of writing, independently of its original

 Step 5: Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in thetarget language culture or discipline In the case of a serious text, say a novel, a poem, or animportant book, you assess the work‟s potential importance within the target language culture

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2 Evaluation of the Translation basing on Newmark’s Model

In this part, the researcher evaluates the translated version of the novel The Notebook by

following five steps in Peter Newmark‟s model precisely as follows:

2.1 A brief analysis of the source language text

Newmark in his textbook states that “In your analysis of the SL text, you may include astatement of the author‟s purpose, that is, the attitude he takes towards the topic;characterization of the readership; an indication of its category and type You assess thequality of the language to determine the translator‟s degree of license, assuming for examplethat he can reduce cliché to natural language in informative but not in authoritative texts Youbriefly state the topic or themes, but do not précis the text and do not „plot-monger‟ (painfullyretell the plot)” (1988:186) From this theory, the researcher will give a brief analysis ofstatement of the author‟s purpose, characterization of the readership, and the topic of thechosen literary work

2.1.1 The author’s purpose

Review from the largest and most popular online retailer Amazon.com indicates that

Nicholas Sparks is one of the world‟s most beloved storytellers All of his books have been

New York Times bestsellers, with nearly 80 million copies in print worldwide, in over 45

languages, including over 50 million copies in the United States alone, and his popularity

continues to soar For this novel in particular, the author himself revealed, “The Notebook was

originally inspired by the story of my wife‟s grandparents They had a rare and beautifulrelationship, one that withstood the test of time and circumstance When I first met them, theyhad been married over sixty years, and I remember marveling at how much they still seemed

to care for each other The Notebook attempts to portray such a love That said, The Notebook

is a novel, not a memoir Many changes were made regarding their story, in order to make thenovel more universal, while staying committed to my original intent.”

2.1.2 Characteristic of the readership

The readership can be of large population Any educated readers who like readingbooks, especially love stories and romance, would certainly be interested in reading this

bestseller novel of The New York Times The author of the novel has been so popular that

people who have already read his other novels would not miss the chance to read such a

classic story of love depicted in The Notebook These readers may possess a great passion for

books, for understanding western culture, for enriching their own knowledge and souls

2.1.3 The topic

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The Notebook is a 1996 romantic novel by American novelist Nicholas Sparks, based on

a true story There are various ideas about the topic or the theme of the novel, but the mostoutstanding one is that true love can conquer all The novel is a celebration of how passioncan be ageless and timeless, a tale that moves us to laughter and tears and makes us believe intrue love all over again

2.2 The translator’s interpretation

In this second step, the researcher reviews whether the translator has omitted anysection of the original text and whether it affects the message that the author wishes toexpress In addition, the researcher also wishes to find out the translator‟s method and thetranslation‟s likely readership

2.2.1 Omission of original text

After the original novel and its translated version in Vietnamese by translator Petal Lêare read and analyzed carefully, it is discovered that some phrases and sentences in theoriginal somehow have not been translated

No Original version Translated version

1 I am a common man with common (untranslated)

thoughts, and I‟ve led a common life

There are no monuments dedicated to me

and my name will soon be forgotten…

2 Instead I slip it beneath my arm and Tôi kẹp nó dưới nách và đi tiếp đến chỗcontinue on my way to the place I must go tôi cần phải đến (p11)

3 In my mind it‟s a little bit of both, and no Trong tâm trí tôi, nó có chút gì đó của cảmatter how you choose to view it in the hai, và dù cuối cùng bạn muốn nhìn nhậnend, it does not change the fact that it thế nào thì cũng không thể thay đổi đượcinvolves a great deal of my life and the thực tế là nó liên quan rất nhiều đến cuộc

path I‟ve chosen to follow. đời tôi và con đường tôi đã chọn (p10)

4 He knew he‟d spent almost his entire Anh biết mình đã tiêu gần hết các khoảnsavings on the house and would have to tiết kiệm vào ngôi nhà và sẽ sớm phải đi

find a job again soon,… tìm việc làm,… (p17)

5 The seat had been slightly damp when Chỗ ngồi này hơi ẩm;… (p26)

she sat down;…

6 His years in the lumberyard had Những năm tháng làm việc ở kho gỗ đãtoughened him to this type of labor, and khiến anh dày dạn với kiểu lao động này,

7 Five weeks later he found himself in Năm tuần sau anh nhận được một bức thư

boot camp While there, he received a từ Goldman gửi lời cảm ơn vì những gìletter from Goldman thanking him for his anh đã làm, cùng một bản sao chứngwork, together with a copy of a certificate nhận cho phép anh hưởng mấy phần trămentitling him to a small percentage of the của bãi phế thải nếu nó được bán đi.scrap yard if it ever sold (p40)

8 The house had changed dramatically Ngôi nhà đã thay đổi đáng kể so với cô

from what she remembered. còn nhớ (p48)

9 She stepped on the dock and it creaked Cô bước lên cầu ra vụng thuyền, kêu cót

10 She could feel his closeness, his warmth, Cô có thể cảm thấy sự gần gũi của anh,

as she spoke. hơi ấm của anh (p68)

11 How about cutting up some vegetables Cắt ít rau nhé (p72)

for the fryer.

12 He answered as he made himself Anh tìm tư thế ngồi cho thoải mái (p75)comfortable

13 By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask, À mà em còn vẽ không? (p82)

do you still paint?

14 It was so unexpected, yet uplifting, and as Điều ấy thật bất ngờ, mà cũng thật khích

the words began to replay in her mind, lệ, cô nhận ra mình sẽ hối tiếc biết baoshe realized how sorry she would have nếu quyết định không gặp lại anh nữa.been had she decided not to see him again (p109)

15 She had known it once before, and again Trước đây cô đã từng biết, và lại một lầnshe cursed herself for forgetting nữa cô tự mắng mình vì đã quên một việcsomething as important as creating beauty quan trọng như việc tạo ra cái đẹp (p132)

16 Her feelings this morning had confirmed Những cảm giác cô có sáng nay đã khẳng

it, and she knew that whatever happened, định điều đó, và cô biết rằng dù có gì xảy

she was going to give it another shot. ra thì cô cũng sẽ cho nó một cơ hội (p132)

17 I saw the article, too, and I saw your Mẹ đã đọc bài báo đó, và mẹ đã nhìn thấy

18 He kissed her gently, and they embraced Anh nhẹ nhàng hôn cô và họ ôm chầm

as they had when she first got out of her lấy nhau như lần đầu tiên cô ra khỏi xe

car two days ago Finally Allie let him go hai ngày trước (p176)

and wiped her tears.

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19 She asks the obvious. Bà hỏi (p196)

20 There‟s no way to tell how fast it will Không có cách nào biết được nó sẽ tiến

progress… it differs from person to triển nhanh hay chậm ra sao (p207)

person …I wish I knew more.

21 I‟m strong and proud, and the luckiest Tôi lại khỏe mạnh, tự hào, là người đànman alive, and I keep on feeling that way ông may mắn nhất còn sống, tôi cứ tiếp

for a long time across the table. tục cảm thấy thế một lúc lâu (p235)

22 „You can‟t see them?‟ (untranslated)

„No,‟ I say, and she thinks for a moment

23 I stand and cross the room to her bed. Tôi đi ngang qua phòng đến giường bà

(p239)

24 I gently trace the outline of her cheek, then Tôi nhẹ nhàng lần tìm đường nét cằm bà

take her hand in mine I kiss her lips, her ấy, và lắng nghe khi bà ấy hít một hơi

cheeks, and listen as she takes a breath. sâu (p267)

Example 1 is a prominent example of the translator‟s omission of the original text Thewhole two sentences have been left untranslated though they are preferred by many readersand often quoted as their favorite This section is at the beginning of the novel, andsupposedly, the translator might have been in a hurry and missed out the lines This type ofblunder can also be found in examples 20 and 22 This remissness is unacceptable for aliterary translator

In addition to leaving sentences untranslated, the translator seems to have overlookedclauses and phrases in some other sentences The illustration of this is observable in examples

5, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 18, 19, 21 and 24 In examples 5, 7, 10, 12, 13, 14, 18 and 24, clauses

of the sentences have been omission with no translation in the Vietnamese version Especially

in example 18, a whole sentence disappears in the translated version Examples 11, 19 and 21demonstrate the missing of some phrases in the sentences

Last but not least, in his translated version, the translator has not translated some words

as well These words may be of negligible significance, yet, some play the key role inconveying the message from the author Examples 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 15, 16, 17 and 23 areevidence for this In examples 2, 3 and 4, the untranslated words may be of minor importance;however, in example 6, the translator has omitted the main verb of the clause; in example 8,

the relative pronoun what of the subordinate clause, making the translated sentence sound

irrational Exceptionally, in example 9, the translator has excluded the subject of the secondclause, turning the sentence into one-subject sentence, therefore, making the translated text

sound incredibly funny In example 15, the translator has eliminated the object it of the verb

known Examples 16 and 17 have been translated with no translation of the word another and too, therefore, not conveying fully the meaning of the sentence Lastly, there are two verbs stand and cross in example 23, however, the translated version has displayed only one verb cross, with no mentioning of the verb stand.

From all the above-mentioned texts, it can be seen that the translator has unintentionally

or deliberately left out quite many words, phrases and even sentences in the translation of anapproximately-fifty-thousand-word novel As pointed out above, along with the indication ofthe missing translated texts, in some cases, the omission of the words or phrases has nosignificant impact on the general meaning of the quoted sentences or paragraphs Thetranslator may suppose that conveying the whole meaning of the passage is more importantthan translating every word And since the influence of this on the readers‟ understanding isimmaterial and the readers can still grasp the major gist of the text, this kind of translating isstill acceptable However, it seems insupportable in other cases not translating the wholesentences, which affects the sequence of understanding of readers who only have chance totouch the Vietnamese version of the novel This may result from literary translation where thetranslator has to comply with the principles of the target language, hence, he might not beable to maintain the format of the original version

2.2.2 The translator’s method

People love reading Nicholas Sparks‟ books because they are simple and easy to read

He uses language that is easily understood Therefore, translating a Nicholas Sparks‟ work is

no hard job This can be seen in the translated version by Petal Lê Generally speaking, he hasstuck to the semantic translation method, making the content and language readily acceptableand comprehensible to the readership On the other hand, in a long work like a novel, thecomplexity of word structures is inevitable; therefore, the translator surely has to combinesome methods of translation along with a chief method Specifically, in this novel, literaltranslation and faithful translation methods are also utilized

2.2.3 The translation’s likely readership

Resembling the original, the translated version also aims at general readers who lovereading foreign literary works, especially love story and romance From the methods andlanguage the translator has used, it can be suggested that the targeted readership is varied,young and old, men and women, though usually young girls and women are those who showmore interest in finding this kind of book

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2.3 Comparison of the translation with the original

The third part, also considered as the heart of the study, will deal with how the translator

has solved the particular problems of the SL text (Newmark, 1988:187) The evaluator will pick

out the most selective and representative examples of the accomplishments and shortcomings ofthe translated version in comparison with the original text Then, they are grouped under generalheads: the title, the structure, proper names, cultural words (Newmark, 1988:187) A discussion oftranslation problems will also be presented

Generally speaking, a translator is entitled to “change” the title of the text (Newmark,1988:156) However, translating titles is not simple because the only true unit of translation(the minimal stretch of language that has to be translated together, as one unit) is the wholetext (Newmark, 1988:54) The statement implies that, in translating a title, it is necessary toconsider the title as a part of the whole text It is compulsory that a translator understands thewhole text before translating its title

Newmark (1988:57 & 156) suggested that all titles are either descriptive (“which describe the topic of the text”) or allusive (“which have some kind of referential or figurative

relationship to the topic”); the latter ones are suitable for imaginative literature, and may have

to be changed However, for serious imaginative literature, Newmark (1988:57) thinks adescriptive title should be “literally” kept, and an allusive title literally or, where necessary,imaginatively preserved

Titles of novels need to be attractive, allusive, and suggestive in order to catch theattention of the readers In order to do so, the titles should be able to attract the readersemotionally because, as Nida and Taber (1974:91) stated, “we do not only understand the