shows data collected from pullman hanoi hotel and research findings which are analyzed from the information

The aim of this paper is todetermine common mistakes in writing of Pullman Hanoi Hotel andgive out solutions for them.. I wouldalso like to thank Pullman Hanoi Hotel, especially all memb

This Graduation Paper deals with some common mistakesmade by employees of Pullman Hanoi Hotel when replyingbusiness letters from their customers The paper is divided intofour parts The first part is the overview of the study The secondpart presents literature review of business correspondence Thethird part shows results of the research and final part is somesuggestions for the problems The aim of this paper is todetermine common mistakes in writing of Pullman Hanoi Hotel andgive out solutions for them The methodology in this research isquantitative methodology with two data collecting techniques:questionnaire and document analyzing

I would like to express my gratitude to my advisor Ms.Nguyen Bich Hong, who was really patient and supportive I wouldalso like to thank Pullman Hanoi Hotel, especially all members ofFront Office Department and Sales Department, who were willing

to provide me with sample business correspondence for myanalysis and supported me throughout my studies

TABLE OF CONTENT

ABSTRACT i

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ii

TABLE OF CONTENT iii

LIST OF ABBREVIATION v

LIST OF TABLES AND FIGURES vi

CHAPTER 1: OVERVIEW OF THE STUDY 1

1.1 Rationale 1

1.2 Previous studies 1

1.3 Aims of the study 2

1.4 Research subjects 2

1.5 Scope of the study 3

1.6 Research methodology 3

1.7 Organization of the study 3

CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW 5

2.1 An Overview of English Business Correspondence 5

2.1.1 The Definition of Business Correspondence 5

2.1.2 Meaning of Business Correspondence 5

2.1.3 Importance of Business Correspondence 6

2.1.4 Essential Qualities of a Good Business Correspondence 7

2.1.5 Format of a Business correspondence 9

2.2 Types of Business correspondence 13

2.2.1 Letter of Inquiry and Offer 14

2.2.2 Letter of changes and cancellation 14

2.2.3 Letter of complaint 14

2.3 Common mistakes in replying to a business correspondence14

PART 3: RESEARCH FINDINGS 16

3.1 Questionnaire 16

3.1.1 Participants 16

3.1.2 Purpose of survey questionnaire 16

3.1.3 Design of survey questionnaire 17

3.1.4 Data analysis 17

3.2 Document Analyzing 24

3.2.1 Analyzing results 24

3.2.2 Summary of the analysis 25

CHAPTER 4: RECOMMENDATIONS AND SUGGESTIONS 27

CONCLUSION 33

REFERENCES vii

APPENDIX viii

LIST OF TABLES AND FIGURES

1 Table 3.1 Number of letters received

2 Table 3.2 Self- Assessment of English

writing skills, basic grammar 18

3 Figure 3.1 The use of Salutation

4 Figure 3.2 The use of Complimentary

5 Figure 3.3 Style of business letter 21

6 Figure 3.4 The use of Modal and Lexical

CHAPTER 1: OVERVIEW OF THE STUDY 1.1 Rationale

Writing letter is a popular means of communication Itappears in both formal types like letters of recommendation,resignation letters… and informal letters like Thank-you letters,regarding letters or even love letters Business letters in Englishare also popular in the world because English has become a globallanguage and it is now used by many countries as the officialmeans of communication

Nevertheless, there is a fact that not everyone who speaksEnglish can write a letter in English well, especially a commercialcorrespondence, because writing a letter requires the writershould make it natural, lively and persuasive Consequently,writing a successful letter is really a problem not only to studentsbut also to employees in any enterprises

During internship period in Pullman Hanoi Hotel, I realizedthat writing is a difficult skill It requires a basic background ofEnglish grammar and written experience In written English,writers always have to pay attention to many factors such astenses, sentence structures, voice, etc Each of them plays animportant role in making a correct letter As a result, I would like toconduct a research on some common mistakes made incommercial correspondence in Pullman Hanoi Hotel Moreover, Ihope to find out solution for these mistakes to help employeesimprove their ability in dealing with customers and enhance theimage as well as the quality of Pullman Hanoi Hotel

1.2 Previous studies

There are some studies conducted on a similar subject.

Nguyen Linh Chi – FA1 – 99 of Hanoi University did anassignment on writing business letter In the research, shegathered some of the most useful techniques for writing aletterform in general and a commercial correspondence inparticular Some common problems of students when writing aformal letter were shown (Mistake of format, Mistake of planning,Mistake of language usage) and she also given outrecommendations to overcome those difficulties were also givenout

In another research of Larry Beason - Ethos and Error: How

Business People React to Errors (College Composition and Communication Vol 53, No 1 (Sep., 2001), pp 33-64), many

variables were researched associated with negative reactions toerrors appearing in business writing He examined how businessprofessionals react to errors and came to a conclusion thatalthough errors can hamper meaning, there is another importantproblem in how readers use errors to raise a negative image of awriter or organization

1.3 Aims of the study

People write letters many times in their life: letters to friends,mother, father, letters of greeting, letters of congratulation, letters

of consolation, etc However, when writing a formal letter,especially in English, they often encounter problems For thisreason, I particularly want to make clear some common mistakes

in my study with these following aims:

 Studying major types of business letters

 Indicating some common mistakes made by employees ofPullman Hanoi Hotel when writing business letters.

 Finding solution for the mistakes to help them improvewriting skill

1.4 Research subjects

Subjects of this study are some common mistakes made inbusiness letters written by employees from two departments ofPullman Hanoi Hotel: Front Office Department and SalesDepartment They are the ones who must reply letters formcustomers daily

1.5 Scope of the study

Types of business letter in written English are rather various.However, the research on all kinds of letters is too difficult for anundergraduate student like me Thus, in this research, I willconcentrate on studying some common mistakes made in replying

to three major types: Letters of Inquiry and Offer, Letters ofChanges and Cancelation, Letters of Complaint They are threemain types of business letter that Pullman Hanoi Hotel usually has

to deal with

1.6 Research methodology

This study is a quantitative research Two techniques usedfor collecting data are questionnaire and documents analyzing Itwas undertaken mostly in Front Office Department and SalesDepartment of Pullman Hanoi Hotel The questionnaire wasdistributed to 30 employees of the two departments about some

common mistakes they often made in replying to business lettersfrom their clients

Other necessary information was taken from the textbook ofCommercial Correspondence and various sources from theInternet

1.7 Organization of the study

This paper provides a clear organization consisting four mainparts:

 Chapter 1 starts with an Overview of the study, including

Rationale, Aims of the study, Research Subjects, Scope of thestudy, and Research Methodology and Organization of thestudy

 Chapter 2 is Literature review which presents theories

related to the study, consisting some main part as following:2.1 Definition of business letter

2.2 Meaning of business letter

2.3 The importance of business letter

2.4 Types of business letter

2.5 Essential Qualities of a Good Business Letter

2.6 Format of a business letter

2.7 Common mistakes in replying to a business letter

2.7.1 Letters of Inquiry and Offer

2.7.2 Letters of changes and cancelation

2.7.3 Letters of complaint

 Chapter 3 shows data collected from Pullman Hanoi Hotel

and Research Findings which are analyzed from theinformation

 Chapter 4 are some recommendations and suggestions to

employees in the hotel who often have to deal with letters

from their customers as well as to other people who want toimprove English writing skill.

The study ends with CONCLUSION, which summarizes theknowledge mentioned through four chapters above

CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW 2.1 An Overview of English Business Correspondence

Nowadays, business correspondence plays an important role

in any businesses It serves as a means to exchange information,express ideas and keep in touch with other organization Businesscorrespondence may be a formal written style for external contact

or used for business connection such as conveying businessinformation, negotiating with other groups.

2.1.1 The Definition of Business Correspondence

A business correspondence is usually a letter from oneorganization to another, or between such organizations and theircustomers, clients and other external parties The overall style

of letter depends on the relationship between the partiesconcerned

The purposes of business correspondence are building andmaintaining good business relationship, promoting businesscooperation and the expression of business correspondence willinfluence the economic benefit of the company

2.1.2 Meaning of Business Correspondence

Communication through exchange of letters is known ascorrespondence We communicate our feelings, thoughts, etc toour friends and relatives through letters which may be calledpersonal correspondence A businessman writes and receivesletters in his day-to-day transactions, which may be calledbusiness correspondence Business correspondence or businessletter is a written communication between two parties.Businessmen may write letters to supplier of goods and alsoreceive letters from the suppliers Customers may write letters tobusinessmen seeking information about availability of goods,price, quality, sample etc or place order for purchase of goods.Thus, business correspondence may be defined as a media ormeans through which views are expressed and ideas orinformation is communicated in writing in the process of businessactivities

2.1.3 Importance of Business Correspondence

Nowadays, business operations are not restricted to anylocality, state or nation Since the businessmen as well ascustomers live in far from each other, they do not have sufficienttime to contact personally Thus, the need for writing letters isessential The importance of business correspondence hasincreased because of vast expansion of business, increase indemand as well as supply of goods

 Help in maintaining proper relationship

Today business activities are not confined to any one area orlocality The businessmen as well as customers are scatteredthroughout the country Hence, there is a need to maintain properrelationship among them by using appropriate means ofcommunication Here business correspondence plays an importantrole The customers can write letters to the businessman seekinginformation about products and businessmen also supply variousinformation to customers This helps them to carry on business onnational and international basis

 Inexpensive and convenient mode

Though there are other modes of communication liketelephone, telex, fax, etc but business information can beprovided and obtained economically and conveniently throughletters

 Create and maintain goodwill

Sometimes business correspondence are written to create andenhance goodwill Businessmen at times send letters to enquireabout complaints and suggestions of their customers They also

send letters to inform the customers about the availability of anew product, clearance sale etc All this results in cordial relationswith the customers, which enhances the goodwill of the business.

 Serves as evidence

We cannot expect a trader to memorise all facts and figures in

a conversation that normally takes place among businessmen.Through letters, he can keep a record of all facts Thus, letters canserve as evidence in case of dispute between two parties

 Help in expansion of business

Business requires information regarding competing products,prevailing prices, promotion, market activities, etc If the traderhas to run from place to place to get information, he will end updoing nothing It will simply result in loss of time But throughbusiness correspondence, he can make all enquiries about theproducts and the markets He can also receive orders fromdifferent countries and, thus enhance sales

2.1.4 Essential Qualities of a Good Business Correspondence

A letter should serve the purpose for which it is written If abusinessman writes a letter to the supplier for purchase of goods,the letter should contain all the relevant information relating to theproduct, mode of payment, packaging, transportation of goods,etc clearly and specifically Otherwise, there will be confusion that

may cause delay in getting the goods Again the quality of paper used in the letter, its size, colour etc also need special attention, because it creates a positive impression in the mind of the

receiver We may classify the qualities of a good business

correspondence as:

a Inner Qualities; and

b Outer Qualities

a) Inner Qualities - The inner qualities of a good business

correspondence refer to the quality of language, its presentation,

etc These facilitate quick processing of the request and that leads

to prompt action

 Simplicity - Simple and easy language should be used for

writing business correspondence Difficult words should bestrictly avoided, as one cannot expect the reader to refer tothe dictionary every time while reading letter

 Clarity - The language should be clear, so that the receive

will understand the message immediately, easily andcorrectly Ambiguous language creates confusion The letterwill serve the purpose if the receiver understands it in thesame manner in which it is intended by the sender

 Accuracy - The statements written in the letter should be

accurate to, the best of the sender’s knowledge Accuracydemands that there are no errors in the usage of language -

in grammar, spellings, punctuations etc An accurate letter isalways appreciated

 Completeness - A complete letter is one that provides all

necessary information to the users For example, whilesending an order we should mention the desirable features ofthe goods like their quality, shape, colour, design, quantity,date of delivery, mode of transportation, etc

 Relevance - The letter should contain only essential

information Irrelevant information should not be mentionedwhile sending any business correspondence

 Courtesy - Courtesy wins the heart of the reader In business

correspondence, courtesy can be shown/expressed by usingwords like please, thank you, etc

 Neatness - A neat letter is always impressive A letter either

handwritten or typed, should be neat and attractive inappearance Overwriting and cuttings should be avoided

b) Outer Qualities - The outer qualities of a good business

correspondence refers to the appearance of the letter It includesthe quality of paper used, colour of the paper, size of the paperetc Good quality paper gives a favourable impression in the mind

of the reader It also helps in documenting the letters properly

 Quality of paper - The paper used should be in accordance

with the economic status of the organization Nowadays, thecost of the paper is very high Thus, good paper should beused for original copy and ordinary paper may be used forduplicate copy

 Colour of the Paper - It is better to use different colours for

different types of letters, so that the receiver will identify theletters quickly and prompt action can be taken

 Size of the paper - Standard size paper (A4) should be used

while writing business correspondence The size of the papershould be in accordance with the envelopes available in themarket

 Folding of letter - The letter should be folded properly and

uniformly Care should be taken to give minimum folds to theletter so that it will fit the size of the envelope If windowenvelope is used then folding should be done in such a waythat the address of the receiver is clearly visible through thetransparent part of the envelope

 Envelope - The size and quality of the envelope also need

special attention The size of the letter should fit the size ofthe letters The business companies use different types ofenvelopes such as ordinary envelope, window envelope,laminated envelope etc In window envelope there is no need

to write the address of the receiver separately on theenvelope It is clearly visible through the transparent part onthe face of the envelope, which may be called as window Inlaminated envelope a thin plastic sheet or cloth is pasted onthe inner side that gives extra protection to letters frombeing damaged during transit

2.1.5 Format of a Business correspondence

The essential parts of a business correspondence are asfollows:

1 Heading -The heading of a business correspondence usually

contains the name and postal address of the business, E-mailaddress, Web-site address, Telephone Number, Fax Number, TradeMark or logo of the business (if any)

2 Date - The date is normally written on the right hand side corner

after the heading as the day, month and years Some examplesare 28th Feb., 2003 or Feb 28, 2003

3 Reference- It indicates letter number and the department from

where the letter is being sent and the year It helps in futurereference This reference number is given on the left hand cornerafter the heading For example, we can write reference number asAB/FADept./2003/27

4 Inside address - This includes the name and full address of the

person or the firm to whom the letter is to be sent This is written

on the left hand side of the sheet below the reference number.Letters should be addressed to the responsible head such as theSecretary, the Principal, the Chairman, the Manager etc Example:M/S Bharat Fans

Bharat Complex

Hyderabad Industrial Complex

Hyderabad

Andhra Pradesh - 500032

The Chief Manager,

State Bank of India

Utkal University Campus

Bhubaneswar,

Orissa- 751007

5 Subject - It is a statement in brief, that indicates the matter to

which the letter relates It attracts the attention of the receiverimmediately and helps him to know quickly what the letter isabout For example:

Subject: Your order No C317/8 dated 12th March 2003

Subject: Enquiry about Samsung television

Subject: Fire Insurance policy

6 Salutation - This is placed below the inside address It is usually

followed by a comma (,) Various forms of salutation are:

Sir/Madam: For official and formal correspondence

Dear Sir/Madam: For addressing an individual

Dear Sirs/Dear Madam: For addressing a firm or company

7 Body of the letter- This comes after salutation This is the main

part of the letter and it contains the actual message of the sender

It is divided into three parts

(a) Opening part - It is the introductory part of the letter In this

part, attention of the reader should be drawn to the previouscorrespondence, if any For example: With reference to your letter

no 326 dated 12th March 2003, I would like to draw yourattention towards the new brand of television

(b) Main part - This part usually contains the subject matter of the

letter It should be precise and written in clear words

(c) Concluding Part - It contains a statement the of sender’s

intentions, hopes or expectations concerning the next step to betaken Further, the sender should always look forward to getting apositive response At the end, terms like Thanking you, Withregards, With warm regards may be used

8 Complimentary close - It is merely a polite way of ending a

letter It must be in accordance with the salutation For example:

i Dear Sir/Dear Madam Yours faithfully

ii Dear Mr Raj Yours sincerely

iii My Dear Akbar Yours very sincerely (express very informalrelations.)

9 Signature - It is written in ink, immediately below the

complimentary close As far as possible, the signature should belegible The name of the writer should be typed immediately belowthe signature The designation is given below the typed name.Where no letterhead is in use, the name of the company too could

be included below the designation of the writer For example:

10 Enclosures - This is required when some documents like

cheque, draft, bills, receipts, lists, invoices etc are attached withthe letter These enclosures are listed one by one in serialnumbers For example :

Encl: (i) The list of goods received

(ii) A cheque for Rs One Thousand dtt Feb 27,2003 (ChequeNo ) towards payment for goods supplied

11 Copy circulation - This is required when copies of the letter are

also sent to persons apart of the addressee It is denoted as C.C.For example:

C.C i The Chairman, Electric Supply Corporation

ii The Director, Electric Supply Corporation

iii The Secretary, Electric Supply Corporation

12 Post script - This is required when the writer wants to add

something, which is not included in the body of the letter It isexpressed as P.S For example,

P.S - In our offer, we provide two years warranty

2.2 Types of Business correspondence

Business correspondences are written for the fulfillment ofseveral purposes The purpose may be to enquire about a product

to know its price and quality, availability, etc This purpose isserved if you write a letter of enquiry to the supplier Afterreceiving your letter the supplier may send you details about theproduct as per your query If satisfied, you may give order forsupply of goods as per your requirement After receiving theitems, if you find that the product is defective or damaged, youmay lodge a complaint

Business correspondence can be classified in such ways asfollows:

First, business correspondence can be classified according tothe content of the letter such as request letters, claim andadjustment letters, reply letters, credit and collection letters, salesletters and so on

Second, classification can appear according to differentfunctions in the process of a business communication There areletters for establishment of business relations, enquiry letters,quotation letters, ordering letters, payment letters, shipment andinsurance letters, claim letters, etc

Thirdly, business correspondence can also be classified intopersonal business letters and official business letters In personal

business letters, the greeting may be formal or informal And thebody is usually intended paragraphs; the typed signature line can

be omitted and the full name or the first name should behandwritten While on the other hand, the official can be moreformal in greeting and its body And the signature is made up of atyped signature with professional or social or company name

In travel industry, business players use written communicationsfor many things, such as: to book hotel room, to confirmreservation, to request and provide information about holiday/hotel facilities/ conference room, to inform clients on itinerary/flight schedule, etc In my paper, I would like to focus on threemain types of business correspondence that Pullman Hanoi Hoteloften has to deal with in its day-to-day business

2.2.1 Letter of Inquiry and Offer

Sometimes customers want to know the details of services inthe hotel like the availability of hotel room, the prices of eachoffer, mode of payment, discount, etc The letter written to thehotel with one or more of the above purposes is known as Letter ofInquiry and Offer

2.2.2 Letter of changes and cancellation

Writing a cancellation letter can be a challenge, as you want tostrike a clear tone that is still firm and friendly Sometimes, thehotel need to change the room number or arriving date of itscustomers It may even have to cancel a reservation fromcustomers due to high season

2.2.3 Letter of complaint

A complaint letter is written when the purchaser does not findthe goods upto his satisfaction In the same manner, a customermay write a letter of complaint if he or she encountered a badexperience in the hotel We may define a letter of complaint as theletter that expresses the dissatisfaction of customers on thehotel’s services.

2.3 Common mistakes in replying to a business correspondence

Quality is essential; quantity is preferable So, with this in mind,

is the content we are producing actually any good? The sad truth isthat many companies appear resigned to wasting hundreds ofthousands of dollars each year while their employees strugglefor hours to produce badly written, poorly structured documents.Worse still is that much of this content doesn’t ever get read

Time pressures and stress levels are not always avoidablehowever, and there is no real reason why people should be able towrite well Writing great business correspondence requires bothattention to detail and formal English Areas of common mistakesare usually in the formatting and the use of language In general,they can be classified into groups as follow:

 Sentence structure (Incomplete sentences, Run-onsentences, Comma splices);

 Spelling and punctuation (Errors using capitals, Incorrectpunctuation, Spelling mistakes);

 Grammar (Incorrect use of verb forms, Incorrect subject-verbagreement, Improper use of transitions, Pronoun referencesthat are unclear, Improper use of articles, Incorrect use ofsubject/object pronouns);

 Word choice (Incorrect use of similar words);

 Improper tone, style or level of formality (Use of informalstyle or casual language).

PART 3: RESEARCH FINDINGS

During the process of internship, I collected 30 replyingletters from Front Office Department and Sales Department ofPullman Hanoi Hotel, with 3 types of letters: Letters of Inquiry andOffer, Letters of Changes and Cancellation, Letters of Complaints.Following is the statistical tables of the number of letters theyreceive:

Types of letter Number of letters collected

Every day Every Every