unconventional relationship – a relationship between two people that does not match what people normally think of * In the past, if a wife earned more money than her husband, it was con
Trang 1GLOSSARY
to tie the knot – to get married
* They tied the knot in a beautiful ceremony on the beach
convention – a standard, commonly accepted way of doing things
* Do you ever want to go against convention and dress your boy in pink, or cut your girl’s hair really short?
unconventional relationship – a relationship between two people that does not
match what people normally think of
* In the past, if a wife earned more money than her husband, it was considered
an unconventional relationship But now that’s fairly common
open-minded – willing to consider new ideas and not judge other people
* I wish the Board of Education was more open-minded about considering new textbooks
polygamy – the practice of having more than one wife or husband at the same
time
* In a situation with polygamy, do you think the wives are friendly toward each other?
to picture – to imagine how something might be; to perceive an image of
something that is not real or that is not present at the time
* It’s hard to picture what that paint color would actually look like in the kitchen
spouse – a husband or wife
* Are spouses and children allowed to attend the company’s holiday party?
open marriage – a marriage in which the husband and wife agree that they can
have sexual relationships with other people
* Sexually transmitted diseases can be a big problem in an open marriage
arranged marriage – a marriage where the husband and wife are chosen for
each other, usually by the parents
* They had an arranged marriage and didn’t meet until the day of their wedding, but fortunately, they learned to love each other
Trang 2May-December romance – a romantic relationship between two people with a
significant difference in age
* Did you know that Gerald is dating someone who is 24 years younger than he is? Talk about a May-December romance!
to apply to – to be relevant or applicable to someone, especially when talking
about a rule
* These diet restrictions don’t apply to you because you don’t have high blood pressure like I do
to live apart – to live separately; to not share a home or other residence
* Spencer got a good job offer in Anchorage, but if he accepts it, they’ll have to live apart for a few months until she can move up there with him
to retain – to keep; to continue to have; to not let something go or be taken
* It’s not uncommon for adult immigrants to retain their language, eating habits, and cultural beliefs and customs
to cohabitate – to live together in the same place, especially with a romantic
partner
* Many religions teach that it’s wrong to cohabitate before marriage
dating – the early stages of a romantic relationship where two people spend time
together in different activities to get to know each other better, before they have made a serious commitment to each other
* Liana doesn’t have much of a dating history, because her parents refused to let her date while she was in high school
Trang 3COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1 What is an arranged marriage?
a) A marriage in which the spouses were chosen by someone else
b) A marriage with a lot of rules, order, and structure
c) A marriage where a working spouse gives money to the non-working spouse
2 What is a May-December romance?
a) A romantic relationship where one person is much older than the other
b) A romantic relationship that lasts for only seven months
c) A romantic relationship that ends before the new year
WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?
convention
The word “convention,” in this podcast, means a standard, commonly accepted way of doing things: “By convention, most pre-school teachers are women, but gradually, it’s becoming more acceptable for men to be pre-school teachers, too.”
A “convention” is often a very large meeting attended by many people: “The city
is hosting a national writer’s convention next month.” Or, “Each year, the
company sends a few representatives to the convention to learn more about what is happening in the industry.” When talking about government, a
“convention” is an official agreement between two countries: “What does the convention on human rights say about children’s right to education?” Finally, the
“Constitutional Convention” was the meeting in 1787 that led to the creation of the U.S Constitution, the most powerful legal document in the country
to live apart
In this podcast, the phrase “to live apart” means to live separately, or to not share
a home or other residence: “I was already in college when my little brother was born, so we’ve always lived apart.” The phrase “to live it up” means to have a lot
of fun, especially while spending a lot of money: “You’re only young once, so live
it up and have some fun!” The phrase “to live in sin” means to live together with someone in a romantic, sexual relationship before marriage: “The church
discourages people from living in sin.” Finally, the phrase “live and let live” means
Trang 4CULTURE NOTE
Types of Weddings
There are many types of “weddings” (ceremonies that mark when two people get married to each other) A “civil wedding” is a wedding in which the local
government creates and recognizes the marriage A civil wedding is usually held
at “city hall” (a government building) with a government official “presiding”
(leading; being the authority) over the ceremony
A “religious wedding” is led by a religious authority, such as a pastor, priest, or rabbi The religious leader has received authority from the government to
conduct the wedding, but the main focus is to marry the couple “in the eyes of God” (with God’s involvement and approval)
A “mass wedding” or a “collective wedding” is a wedding where many couples are married at the same time Mass weddings are not common in the United States, but they are common for some churches and for poor families that
“cannot afford” (are not able to pay for) a traditional, expensive wedding
Sometimes people “do away with” (decide not to have) the wedding “altogether” (at all) They might decide to “elope,” or get married suddenly and secretly, without notifying or involving any friends or relatives, or only a very small number
of people They “announce” (let people know about) their marriage after it has already happened
And some people decide that one wedding is not enough It is becoming
increasing common to have a “wedding vow renewal ceremony” in which the husband and wife say their “vows” (the promises they make to each other) again, usually in a formal ceremony in front of family and friends They do this to
strengthen their relationship and “affirm” (state that something is true) their
continuing commitment to each other
Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – a; 2 – a
Trang 5COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 1,089 –
Unconventional Marriages
This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 1,089 I’m your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California
Visit our website at ESLPod.com Become a member of ESL Podcast and
download a Learning Guide for this episode that contains a complete transcript of everything we say on the episode This episode is a dialogue between Karam and Raphaela about unconventional marriages Let’s get started
[start of dialogue]
Karam: You and Daniel have been dating for over a year Are you guys thinking
of tying the knot?
Raphaela: I’m not sure Neither Daniel nor I believe in following conventions We’re both open to an unconventional relationship
Karam: What kind of unconventional relationship?
Raphaela: Many different kinds We’re very open-minded
Karam: Okay, for instance, would you guys be open to polygamy? Somehow I can’t picture either of you sharing your spouse with someone else
Raphaela: Well, no, I don’t think that would be right for us The more people involved in a relationship, the more difficult it becomes, I think
Karam: Then you wouldn’t be open to an open marriage
Raphaela: That’s probably not something I’d want
Karam: The only other unconventional marriages I can think of are arranged marriages and May-December romances Neither of those applies to you and
Trang 6Karam: Ah, then there’s my answer I know what kind of unconventional marriage you’d have
Raphaela: What?
Karam: A relationship without cohabitating? Dating
[end of dialogue]
We begin our dialogue with Karam saying to Raphaela, “You and Daniel have been dating for over a year Are you guys thinking of tying the knot?” “To tie (tie) the knot” means to get married It’s another expression meaning to get married Raphaela says, “I’m not sure Neither Daniel nor I believe in following
conventions.” The word “conventions” (conventions) refers here to standards, or the commonly accepted way of doing things
Raphaela says, “We’re both open to an unconventional relationship.”
“Unconventional” means not usual, or unusual In this case, a relationship that would not be what you would normally think between two people Karam is not sure exactly what Raphaela means He says, “What kind of unconventional relationship?” Raphaela says, “Many different kinds.” She doesn’t give him a specific answer She does say that she and Daniel are “open-minded.” “To be open-minded” means to be willing to consider new ideas, to be willing to accept things that are perhaps unconventional
Karam then says, “Okay, for instance” – meaning for example – “would you guys
be open to polygamy?” “Polygamy” (polygamy) is the practice of having more than one wife or more than one husband at a time Now, contrary to what some people think, polygamy is not legal in any state or territory of the United States I have heard some people who thought that this was true, but it definitely is not
Now, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some people who live in what are, in effect, polygamous relationships, but they are not legally married You can only
be legally married to one person at a time, at least here in the U.S Why you would want to have more than one wife, for example, I have no idea Clearly someone who believes in that hasn’t been married before – but anyway, back to our story
Karam says, “Somehow I can’t picture either of you sharing your spouse with someone else.” “To be able to picture” (picture) someone is to imagine someone
in a certain situation Karam is saying that he cannot imagine that either Daniel or
Trang 7Raphaela would be willing to share his or her “spouse” (spouse) Your spouse is either your husband or your wife, depending on who you are
Raphaela says, “Well, no, I don’t think that would be right for us,” meaning she doesn’t want to be in a polygamous relationship She says, “The more people involved in a relationship, the more difficult it becomes.” Karam says, “Then you wouldn’t be open to an open marriage.” “To be open to” means to be willing to consider, to be willing to try Karam is asking if Daniel and Raphaela would be willing to try an open marriage
An “open marriage” is a marriage, I’m told, where the husband and wife agree that they can have sexual relationships with people outside of the marriage and yet still remain married Now, this is different than someone having an “affair” (affair) When you have an affair, you have sexual relations with someone who is not your husband or wife, without the husband or wife knowing about it An open relationship is when you know about it, I guess Raphaela says, “That’s probably not what I want.” So she doesn’t want that either So Karam is confused He’s trying to find out exactly what Raphaela is talking about
He then says, “The only other unconventional marriages I can think of are
arranged marriages and May-December romances.” An “arranged (arranged) marriage” is a marriage where the husband and wife are chosen for each other, usually by the parents This is still done in some societies, where the parents decide who their children will marry I did not and do not have an arranged
marriage My parents did not select my wife In fact, when they met my then girlfriend, they advised her not to marry me, but fortunately she didn’t listen Maybe she should have
Karam also mentions “May-December romances.” A “May-December romance”
is a romantic relationship between two people with a significant difference in age The man may be 60, and the woman may be 25 That would be definitely a “May-December romance.” That happens all the time here in Los Angeles The rich male movie star will marry the young actress or model
Karam says, “Neither of those applies to you and Daniel,” meaning neither the arranged marriage nor the May-December romance “To apply to” something means to be relevant to something – to be, we might also say, “applicable to” a certain situation Karam says, “Am I missing something?” When someone asks,
Trang 8Raphaela says, “Well, we’re open to living apart We’re both very independent and would want to retain that independence.” “To live apart” means to live in separate houses or separate apartments Raphaela says that she and Daniel are
“both very independent” and would like to or “would want to retain (retain) that independence.” “To retain” something is to keep it, to continue to have it
Karam says, “Ah, then there’s my answer.” Now he understands “I know what kind of unconventional marriage you have.” And Raphaela asks him, “What?” – what kind? Karam says, “A relationship without cohabitating? Dating,” he says
“To cohabitate” (cohabitate) means to live together in the same house with
someone with whom you’re having a romantic relationship Most conventional or regular, normal marriages have the husband and wife living in the same house Karam is saying that Raphaela is talking about a relationship without
cohabitating, which is really just another name for dating “Dating” (dating)
usually refers to the early stages of a romantic relationship when traditionally you didn’t live with the person with whom you are having this romance
Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed
[start of dialogue]
Karam: You and Daniel have been dating for over a year Are you guys thinking
of tying the knot?
Raphaela: I’m not sure Neither Daniel nor I believe in following conventions We’re both open to an unconventional relationship
Karam: What kind of unconventional relationship?
Raphaela: Many different kinds We’re very open-minded
Karam: Okay, for instance, would you guys be open to polygamy? Somehow I can’t picture either of you sharing your spouse with someone else
Raphaela: Well, no, I don’t think that would be right for us The more people involved in a relationship, the more difficult it becomes, I think
Karam: Then you wouldn’t be open to an open marriage
Raphaela: That’s probably not something I’d want
Trang 9Karam: The only other unconventional marriages I can think of are arranged marriages and May-December romances Neither of those applies to you and Daniel Am I missing something?
Raphaela: Well, we’d be open to living apart We’re both very independent and would want to retain that independence
Karam: Ah, then there’s my answer I know what kind of unconventional marriage you’d have
Raphaela: What?
Karam: A relationship without cohabitating? Dating
[end of dialogue]
If you want to retain more English in your brain, I suggest you keep listening to the wonderful dialogues written by our scriptwriter, Dr Lucy Tse Thank you, Lucy
From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan Thank you for listening Come back and listen to us again right here on ESL Podcast
English as a Second Language Podcast was written and produced by Dr Lucy Tse, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan Copyright 2015 by the Center for Educational Development