Introduction: A Second Baby Is Born Part 1 THE FIRST YEAR Chapter 1: Get Ready, Get Set Feeding Your Baby: Breast or Formula, or Both Facts Favoring Breastfeeding Breastfeeding Myths Fac
Trang 2WHAT TO EXPECT® THE FIRST YEAR
Trang 3Also available from What to Expect®
What to Expect ® When You’re Expecting Eating Well When You’re Expecting
The What to Expect® When You’re Expecting Pregnancy Organizer
What to Expect ® Pregnancy Planner Que se Puede Esperar Cuando se Esta Esperando
(What to Expect ® When You’re Expecting—Spanish edition)
The What to Expect ® Baby-Sitter’s Handbook What to Expect ® the Toddler Years
Trang 5TO EMMA AND WYATT, RACHEL, ETHAN, AND ELIZABETH
FOR THE MAGICAL, MEMORABLE FIRST YEARS EACH OF YOU GAVE US
TO OUR PARTNERS IN PARENTING, ERIK, HOWARD, AND TIM,
WITHOUT WHOM WE COULDN’T HAVE MADE IT THROUGH THOSE FIRST YEARS
Trang 6Copyright © 1989,1996,2003 by What to Expect LLC
Book illustrations © 2003 by Judy Francis
Design copyright © by Workman Publishing
What to Expect ® is a registered trademark of What to Expect LLC
Front cover illustration: Tim O’Brien based on a photograph by Fiona Alison/Getty Images
Back cover illustration: Tim O’Brien based on a photograph from Banana Stock/Photolibrary
Cover quilt: Lynn Parmentier,Quilt Creations, www.quiltcreations.net Quilt photography: Davies +Starr
All rights reserved No portion of this book may be reproduced—mechanically, electronically,
or by any other means, including photocopying—without written permission of the
publisher Published simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen & Son Limited
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publishing Data available upon request
ISBN 978-0-7611-5212-5 (pbk)
ISBN 978-0-7611-5079-4 (hc)
Workman books are available at special discounts when purchased in bulk for premiums and salespromotions as well as for fund-raising or educational use Special editions or book excerpts can also
be created to specification For details, contact the Special Sales Director at the address below
Workman Publishing Company, Inc
225 Varick Street
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Printed in the U.S.A
First printing October 2003
40 39 38 37 36 35
Note: All children are unique and this book is not intended to substitute for the advice of your
pediatrician or other physician who should be consulted on infant matters, especially when a babyshows any sign of illness or unusual behavior
Trang 7A SECOND ROUND OF THANKS
If there’s anything harder than writing a book, it’s rewriting a book Like reinventing the wheel (howcan we do it better?), it takes a lot of reevaluating, a lot of revisiting, and a lot of second-guessing(What works well already? What used to work but doesn’t anymore? What never really worked in thefirst place? What could work—with a little work?) It also takes a lot of help, from a whole bunch ofpeople From friends, colleagues, academics, health care professionals—and some special folks whofit into all four categories at the same time; some who have supported us from the first draft of thefirst edition, others who have only recently joined the team; many more wonderful people than wecould possibly list here, that is, without running even farther over the expected page count in thissecond edition than we already have We gratefully thank all of you, including:
Suzanne Rafer, a wonderful editor and even better friend, who has gamely waded through
thousands and thousands of What to Expect manuscript pages over the last twenty years, shepherding
sentences gone astray (and puns gone bad), deftly deleting words (the extraneous ones, that is),
relentlessly waving her pink flags until we surrender to her better judgment—for everything you do,and for always being there
Peter Workman, a publisher of uncommon (at least these days) character, skill, and most of all,
faith—for standing behind us from the humble beginnings of What to Expect We share every success
with you and with …
Lisa Hollander, for making every book look its best, and Barbara Balch, for giving her a handwith this one; Judith Cheng, for another beautiful cover (and another memorable baby), and JudyFrancis, for her adorable (and illuminating!) illustrations Anne Cherry, for smoothing out the kinks inthe manuscript Robyn Schwartz, for good humor and fast reflexes Carolan Workman, Suzie Bolotin,David Schiller, Jenny Mandel, Sarah Edmond, Jim Eber, Kate Tyler, Bruce Harris, Pat Upton,
Saundra Pearson, Beth Doty, and all the other wonderful members of the Workman family—lots ofhugs and kisses to each and every one of you, for all your hard work, support, and love Thanks also
to all of you who worked on the first edition but have since moved on
Sharon Mazel, for absolutely everything you do (and for the amazing speed with which you do itall; it probably helps that you never sleep): favorite e-mail companion (you’ve got mail—again!),tireless researcher (who takes her research seriously—and has Kira and Sophia to show for it) andwriter, steadfast gatekeeper of TMI—you’re half of our onetwo punch, and I treasure you Thanks,too, to Dr Jay Mazel—not just for sharing Sharon but for offering endless after hours medical advice
—and to the four (and counting?) Mazel girls: Daniella, Arianne, Kira, and especially timely Sophia.Special thanks to the girls’ pediatrician, Dr Jeffrey Bernstein, who patiently answered the hundreds
of First Year questions Sharon snuck into well-baby visits And Aliza Graber, for getting us
organized
Dr Mark Widome, Professor of Pediatrics at The Penn State Children’s Hospital and star of both
pediatric practice (we envy those kids in your care!) and the Today show, and our extraordinary
medical adviser Not only for your invaluable knowledge, wisdom, and insights, which make us lookgood, but for your humor, empathy, and compassion, which make us feel even better Your attention todetail (through every word on every last page of manuscript) always went above and beyond—and
Trang 8we can’t thank you enough.
Lisa Bernstein, Executive Director of the What to Expect Foundation, for your determined
dedication to the health and well-being of all babies—and always, for your love, support, and
friendship (And, of course, to Zoe, Teddy, and Dan Dubno.) Marc Chamlin, Ellen Goldsmith-Vein,and Alan Nevins—for protecting me, standing up for me, and most of all, for caring about me
Medora Heibron, for her invaluable insights on adoption All the dedicated, wonderful people at theAmerican Academy of Pediatrics, whom we can always count on for the most up-to-date (and mostbalanced) facts and positions And to the countless AAP members who have answered questions,offered feedback, and helped make this book the best it could be
With love, to my husband, best friend, partner in parenting, partner in business, and partner in life,Erik Murkoff, for making everything possible I couldn’t begin to do it without you, and I’d neverwant to try And to Emma and Wyatt, my inspiration and (real live) guinea pigs; I love you guys
To two of the best husbands and fathers around, Howard Eisenberg, and Tim Hathaway, to thoseamazing Hathaway kids, Rachel, Ethan, and Liz And to Mildred and Harry Scharaga, Victor Shargai,and John Aniello, for your love and support
To Arlene Eisenberg, for everything; your legacy lives on in the hearts of so many We’ll alwayslove you and miss you
With admiration, to all the doctors, PNPs, and nurses everywhere who take care of babies—andtheir nervous parents And to our readers—our inspiration, our favorite resource, and the reason we
do what we do—and keep doing (and redoing) it
—H EIDI M URKOFF
Trang 9Foreword: A Parenting Book That Stands Alone, by Mark D Widome, M.D., M.P.H
Introduction: A Second Baby Is Born
Part 1
THE FIRST YEAR
Chapter 1: Get Ready, Get Set
Feeding Your Baby: Breast or Formula, or Both
Facts Favoring Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding Myths
Facts Favoring Formula Feeding
Factoring in Feelings
When You Can’t or Shouldn’t Breastfeed
Adoption and Breastfeeding
What You May Be Concerned About
Coping with Motherhood
Mother Care
A Changing Lifestyle
This Book’s for You, Too
Whether or Not to Go Back to Work
Leave: It’s Not Just for Mothers Anymore
Grandparents
A Lack of Grandparents
A Baby Nurse or Doula
Other Sources of Help
Circumcision
Which Diapers to Use
Quitting Smoking
A Name for Baby
Preparing the Family Pet
Preparing Your Breasts for Breastfeeding
Don’t Express Yourself—Yet
What It’s Important to Know:
SELECTING THE RIGHT PHYSICIAN
Pediatrician or Family Practitioner?
Trang 10Health Insurance for a Healthy Family
What Kind of Practice Is Perfect?
Finding Dr Right
Making Sure Dr Right Is Right for You
When the Choice Isn’t Yours
The Prenatal Interview
Your Partnership with Dr Right
Chapter 2: Buying for Baby
Register for Your Baby Needs
Baby’s Wardrobe
Baby’s Linens
Baby’s Grooming Needs
Don’t Go Nuts
Baby’s Medicine Cabinet
Baby Feeding Supplies
Nursery Necessities and Niceties
Calling All Recalls
Equipment for Outings
What’s in a Buckle?
Rear-Facing Infant Seat
The LATCH System
Convertible Seat/Forward-Facing Seat
When Baby Gets Older
Buying for Baby’s Future
Chapter 3: Breastfeeding Basics
Getting Started Breastfeeding
Sucking Versus Suckling
How Long to Feed
What Type of Nurser Is Your Baby?
Trang 11How Often to Feed
What You May Be Concerned About
Bumps on the Road to Success?
Time Spent Breastfeeding
Nursing Fashions
Nursing in Public
Lump in Breast
Mastitis
Breastfeeding During Illness
Breastfeeding While Menstruating
Birth Control and the Breastfeeding Mother
Exercise and Nursing
Combining Breast and Bottle
Nipple Confusion Got You Confused?
Relactation
What It’s Important to Know:
KEEPING YOUR MILK HEALTHY AND SAFE
What You Eat
Can Foods Make Milk?
What You Drink
What Medication You Take
What You Should Avoid
No Peanuts While Feeding Your Little Peanut?
Chapter 4: Your Newborn Baby
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at Hospital Checkups
Testing Your Baby
Newborn Hearing Screening
Portrait of a Newborn
Trang 12Apgar Test
Apgar Table
Your Newborn’s Reflexes
Hospital Procedures for Babies Born at Home
Feeding Your Baby: Getting Started Formula Feeding
Selecting a Formula
Need Help at the Breast?
DHA: The Smart Choice in Baby Formulas?
How Much Formula Is Like a Feast?
Safe Bottle Feeding
Bottle Feeding with Love
From Bottle with Love
Bottle Feeding with Ease
What You May Be Concerned About
Gagging and Choking
Sleeping Through Meals
Cracking the Crying Code
Trang 13What It’s Important to Know:
THE BABY CARE PRIMER
Umbilical Stump Care
Chapter 5: The First Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What Your Baby May Be Doing This Month
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup
Feeding Your Baby This Month: Expressing Breast Milk
Why Mothers Express Milk
Choosing a Pump
Trang 14All About Pumps
Fascinating Facts
Pumping Practice Makes Perfect
Preparing to Pump
(Tell) Tales from the Other Side
How to Express Breast Milk
Where Does the Milk Go?
Quick Tip
Storing Breast Milk
What You May Be Concerned About
“Breaking” Baby
The Fontanels
Skinny Baby
Having Enough Breast Milk
Baby Getting Enough Breast Milk
Nursing Blisters
Feeding Schedule
Double the Trouble, Double the Fun
Changing Your Mind About BreastfeedingToo Much Formula
Mixing Up of Night and Day
Noise when Baby Is Sleeping
Trang 15Baby’s Breathing
Better Sleep for Baby
Moving a Sleeping Baby to Bed
Using Detergent on Baby’s Clothes
What It’s Important to Know:
BABIES DEVELOP DIFFERENTLY
Today’s Slower Babies
What Month Is It, Anyway?
Chapter 6: The Second Month
Trang 16What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup
Making the Most of Those Monthly Checkups
Feeding Your Baby: Introducing … the Bottle
Bottle-Free
Supplementation Myths
What’s in the Bottle?
Winning Baby Over
Mix It Up
Making the Introduction
Supplementing when Baby Isn’t Thriving
What You May Be Concerned About
Understanding Your Baby
Making the Most of the First Three Years
Comparing Babies
Immunization
Immunization Myths
The ABCs of DTaPs … and MMRs … and IPVs …
Recommended Immunization Schedule
When to Call the Doctor After an Immunization
Favoring One Breast
Using a Baby Carrier or Sling
The Challenging Baby
Do You Have a Challenging Baby?
Baby Won’t Sleep on Back
Trang 17What It’s Important to Know:
STIMULATING YOUR BABY IN THE EARLY MONTHS
Creating a Good Environment
Practical Tips for Learning and Playing
Location, Location, Location
Chapter 7: The Third Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup
Feeding Your Baby: Breastfeeding and Working
Breastfeeding and Working—Making Them Work for You
Corporate Lactation Programs
What You May Be Concerned About
Establishing a Regular Schedule
Putting Baby to Bed
Dueling Parenting Philosophies
Waking Up for Nighttime Feedings
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
What Is SIDS?
Preventing SIDS
Reporting Breathing Emergencies to Your Doctor
Sharing a Room with Baby
Sharing a Bed
Still Using a Pacifier
Early Weaning
Supplementing with Cow’s Milk
The Longer the Better
Fewer Bowel Movements
Diaper Rash
Penis Sore
Spastic Movements
Roughhousing
Never Shake a Baby
Being Tied Down Breastfeeding
Leaving Baby with a Sitter
What It’s Important to Know:
Trang 18THE RIGHT CHILD CARE FOR BABY
In-home Care
Baby-Sitter Checklist
Nanny in the Know
Is He Manny Enough for the Job?
The Business of Hiring a Nanny
Keeping an Eye on the Sitter
Group Day Care
Your Child as a Barometer of Child Care
Home Day Care
Corporate Day Care
Safe Sleeping
Babies on the Job
When Your Child Is Sick
Chapter 8: The Fourth Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup Feeding Your Baby: Thinking About Solids What You May Be Concerned About
Rejection of the Breast
Wriggling at Changing Time
Propping Baby
Baby’s Standing
Baby Fussing in Infant Seat
Baby Unhappy in Car Seat
Trang 19PLAYTHINGS FOR BABY
Suitable for Cuddling
Chapter 9: The Fifth Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup Feeding Your Baby: Starting Solids
Good Early Foods to Offer Baby
Opening Night—and Beyond
Foods to Premiere With
Not This Year, Baby
Expanding Baby’s Repertoire
First-Year Diet for Beginners
Who’s Counting?
The Baby Daily Dozen
No Honey for Your Little Honey
Feeding Chair Safety Tips
Reducing Walker Risks
Jumpers
Baby Swing
Trang 20What It’s Important to Know:
ENVIRONMENTAL HAZARDS AND YOUR BABY
Household Pest Control
Lead
Unsuitable for Digging?
Otherwise Contaminated Water
Polluted Indoor Air
Protecting Children
A Safer Walk on the Wild Side
Contaminants in Food
Food Hazards in Perspective
Out of the Mouths of Babes
Organic Foods—Growing Availability
Chapter 10: The Sixth Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup
Feeding Your Baby: Commercial or Home-Prepared Baby Foods
Commercial Baby Food
Food for Thought
Home-Prepared Baby Foods
Attention Do-It-Yourselfers
What You May Be Concerned About
Still Not Sleeping Through the Night
It’s All in the Timing
What Will the Neighbors Think?
Sleep Sharing
Early Rising
Turning Over During the Night
Bathing in the Big Tub
Safe Big-Bath Bathing
Bottle Rejection in a Breastfed Baby
Changes in Bowel Movements
Brushing Baby’s Teeth
Baby’s First Toothbrush
Baby-Bottle Mouth
Weaning to Cow’s Milk
Trang 21Shoes for Baby
What It’s Important to Know:
STIMULATING YOUR OLDER BABY
How Do You Speak to Your Baby Now?
Chapter 11: The Seventh Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup
Feeding Your Baby: Moving Up from Strained Foods What You May Be Concerned About
Picking Up Baby
Grandparents Spoiling Baby
Baby’s Acting Up with You
What It’s Important to Know:
PUTTING THE SUPER IN BABY
Chapter 12: The Eighth Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup
Feeding Your Baby: Finally—Finger Foods
What You May Be Concerned About
Baby’s First Words
Trang 22Signing with Baby
Baby’s Not Crawling Yet
Scooting
Messy House
Eating off the Floor
Eating Dirt—and Worse
Crib Safety Now
Childproofing Your Home
What It’s Important to Know:
MAKING HOME SAFE FOR BABY
Change Your Ways
Change Your Baby’s Surroundings
Poison Control
Safety Equipment
Change Your Baby
Red Light on Greenery
Chapter 13: The Ninth Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup Feeding Your Baby: Establishing Good Habits Now What You May Be Concerned About
Feeding Baby at the Table
Loss of Interest in Nursing
Got Milk? Not Yet
Fussy Eating Habits
Some Cereal with That Butternut Squash?
Self-Feeding
Strange Stools
Changes in Sleep Patterns
Pulling Up
Trang 23What It’s Important to Know:
GAMES BABIES PLAY
Chapter 14: The Tenth Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup Feeding Your Baby: When to Wean
What You May Be Concerned About
Messy Eating Habits
Head Banging, Rocking, and Rolling
Hair Rolling and Pulling
What It’s Important to Know:
THE BEGINNING OF DISCIPLINE
To Spank or Not to Spank
Chapter 15: The Eleventh Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup Feeding Your Baby: Weaning from the Bottle
Trang 24What You May Be Concerned About
Bowed Legs
Parental Nudity
Falls
Not Pulling Up Yet
Baby Tooth Injuries
Cholesterol in Baby’s Diet
Growth Swings
What It’s Important to Know:
HELPING BABY TO TALK
Chapter 16: The Twelfth Month
What Your Baby May Be Doing
You Know Your Baby Best
What You Can Expect at This Month’s Checkup Feeding Your Baby: Weaning from the Breast
Weaning from the Breast
Keeping Yourself Comfortable
Milk Sense
What You May Be Concerned About
The First Birthday Party
Not Yet Walking
Handle with Care
Increased Separation Anxiety
Attachment to the Bottle
Don’t Have a Cow
Putting the Weaned Baby to Bed
Bedtime Separation Anxiety
Trang 25What It’s Important to Know:
STIMULATING YOUR ONE-YEAR OLD
The Eyes Have It … Already
Safety Reminder
Part 2
OF SPECIAL CONCERN
Chapter 17: A Baby for All Seasons
What You May Be Concerned About in Summer Weather
Keeping Baby Cool
A Summer Rash
Heatstroke
Too Much Sun
What to Look For in Selecting a Sunscreen
Insect Bites
Summer Safety
Water, Baby?
Water Babies
As the Food Turns
What You May Be Concerned About in Winter Weather
Keeping Baby Warm
Trang 26What It’s Important to Know:
THE SEASON FOR TRAVEL
Chapter 18: When Baby Is Sick
Before Calling the Doctor
Parent’s Intuition
How Much Rest for a Sick Baby?
Feeding a Sick Baby
When Medication Is Needed
What You Should Know About the Medication
Giving Medication Correctly
Helping the Medicine Go Down
The Most Common Infant Health Problems
Allergies
Having a Pet Is Nothing to Sneeze At
Is It an Allergy—Or Just Intolerance?
Cold or Allergy?
The Common Cold or Upper Respiratory Infection (URI)Taking the Bite Out of the Flu Bug
Treating Baby’s Symptoms
The Hand-Washing Solution
The Frequent Cold Program
The Sudden Cough
Constipation
Trang 27Complementary and Alternative Medicine
Diarrhea
Middle Ear Inflammation (Otitis Media)
A Better Juice for Your Sick Baby?
Gastroesophageal Reflux (GER)
Your Baby’s Health History
Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)
Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV)
What It’s Important to Know:
ALL ABOUT FEVER
Convulsions in a Feverish Baby
Taking Baby’s Temperature
Fever Doesn’t Tell the Whole Story
Evaluating a Fever
Before That First Fever
Handling Febrile Convulsions
Trang 28Fainting/Loss of Consciousness
Finger and Toe Injuries
Treating a Young Patient
Frostbite and Hypothermia
Head Injuries
Heat Injuries
Hypothermia
Insect Stings or Bites
Lip, Split or Cut
Resuscitation Techniques for Babies and Children
When Baby Is Choking
The Unsuspected Inhaled Object
Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR): Rescue Breathing and Chest CompressionRescue Breathing (Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation)
Chest Compressions (CPR): Babies Under One Year
Chest Compressions (CPR): Babies Over One Year
Chapter 20: The Low-Birthweight Baby
Feeding Your Baby: Nutrition for the Preterm or Low-Birthweight Infant
Early Weight Loss
Expressing Milk for a Premature Baby
Feeding at Home
Trang 29What You May Be Concerned About
Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)
Home-Care Tips for Preterm Babies
What It’s Important to Know:
HEALTH PROBLEMS COMMON IN LOW-BIRTHWEIGHT BABIES
Rehospitalization
Chapter 21: The Special Needs Baby
Feeding Your Baby: Can Diet Make a Difference?
What You May Be Concerned About
Feeling Responsible
Feeling Angry
When the Guilt Is Real
Not Loving the Baby
Working Out Your Feelings
What to Tell Others
Handling It All
Be a Friend in Deed
Getting the Right Diagnosis
Just the Facts
Where to Go For Help
Whether or Not to Accept Treatment
Trang 30Getting the Best Care and Treatment
Effect of Baby on Siblings
Effects on Your Relationship
A Repeat with the Next Baby
A Different Birth Defect Next Time
What It’s Important to Know:
THE MOST COMMON BIRTH DISORDERS
Cleft Lip and/or Palate
Clubfoot and Other Foot and Ankle DeformitiesCongenital Heart Defect
Chapter 22: The Adopted Baby
What You May Be Concerned About
Getting Ready
Adoption Medicine
Not Feeling Like a Parent
Loving the Baby
Baby’s Crying a Lot
Trang 31The Waiting Period
Postadoption Blues
Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby
Grandparents’ Attitudes
Unknown Health Problems
Dealing with Friends and Family
FOR THE FAMILY
Chapter 23: For Mom: Enjoying the First Year
What You Should Be Eating: The Postpartum Diet
Nine Basic Diet Principles for New Mothers
The Daily Dozen for Postpartum and Breastfeeding
The One-Two Punch
If You’re Not Breastfeeding
What You May Be Concerned About
Exhaustion
Newly Delivered?
Postpartum Depression
Getting Help for Postpartum Depression
Getting Everything Done
Not Being in Control
Not Feeling Competent
When You’re on Your Own
Doing Things Right
Aches and Pains
Return of Menstruation
Time to Stock Up on Tampons?
Urinary Incontinence
It’s Kegel Time Again
Regaining Your Figure
Getting Back into Shape
A Stroller Exercise
Trang 32Fitting Sex In
Easing Back into Sex
Slight Spotting Alert
Stretched Vagina
The State of Your Romance
Thinking About the Next Baby
Planning Ahead
Birth Control
Hormonal Contraceptive Warning Signs IUD Warning Signs
Barrier Method Warning Signs
The Basal Body Temperature
Diagnosing a New Pregnancy
Passing Germs On to Baby
Finding Time for Yourself
Finding Outside Interests
Bring Baby Along
Friendships
Different Mothering Styles
Jealousy of Daddy’s Parenting SkillsJealousy of Daddy’s Attention to BabyQuality Time
Leaving Baby with a Sitter
What It’s Important to Know:
TO WORK OR NOT TO WORK
Family-Friendly Work
When to Return to Your Job
Chapter 24: Becoming a Father
What You May Be Concerned About
Trang 33Feeling Inadequate as a Father
A Father’s Touch
Dads Matter
Unfair Burden?
A Gift That Lasts a Lifetime
Not Enough Time to Spend with Baby
Chapter 25: From Only Child to Older Child
What You May Be Concerned About
Preparing an Older Child
Read All About It
Siblings at the Birth
Separation and Hospital Visits
Easing the Homecoming
Resentment
Explaining Genital Differences
Nursing in Front of an Older Child
The Older Child Who Wants to Nurse
Helping Sibling Live with Colic
Regressive Behavior
The Older Sibling Hurting the New Baby
Seeing Green?
Dividing Time and Attention
Widely Spaced Sibs
Sibling Attachment
Escalating Warfare
Part 4
READY REFERENCE
Baby’s First Recipes
Four to Eight Months
Trang 34Eight to Twelve Months
Tomato and Cheese Pasta
Baby’s First Thanksgiving Turkey
Peachy Frozen Yogurt
Fabulous Finger Foods
Quick Mealtime Ideas
First Birthday Cake
Cream Cheese Frosting
Common Home Remedies
Trang 35A PARENTING BOOK THAT STANDS ALONE
When, some fifteen years ago, the authors of this book’s popular predecessor, What to Expect When
You’re Expecting, decided to venture beyond pregnancy to publish a book for new parents, they must
have known that they were stepping into crowded and competitive territory Since Benjamin Spock
published his first edition of Baby and Child Care in 1946, many authors had tried their hand at
writing a book to help us raise happier and healthier children Among authors following in Dr
Spock’s footsteps, there was no shortage of experts: pediatricians, child psychologists, academics,and assorted specialists Ironically, these authorities were following in the footsteps of a person whorepeatedly reminded parents that, when raising children, one should not rely too heavily on experts;that it is often better to trust your instincts
What to Expect the First Year was different It was a project that was both bold in scope and
unique in perspective It promised to explain “everything parents needed to know about the first year
of life.” And rather than being written by experts, it was written by a team of accomplished authorswhose only real claim to our attention was that they were parents like ourselves They set out to
provide for other parents answers to questions that they themselves had—or might have had—aboutraising their own children
What to Expect the First Year has been very well received and extraordinarily successful With
over 7 million copies in print, it delivers on its promise, and readers have surely validated its centered approach But its success—and the success of this revision—is due, I believe, not only to itsbroad coverage and unique approach, but also to the careful research that has gone into each topic, thethoughtful and reasoned discussions of everyday problems, and an attention to detail that is oftenstriking
parent-Written from a parent’s point of view, First Year offers the kind of advice that parents often
appreciate but that professionals seldom think to include Heidi Murkoff, who originated the idea for
What to Expect When You’re Expecting when she was pregnant with her daughter Emma, no doubt
got many of the ideas for this book as she was figuring out how to best feed Emma, dealing with hercrying spells, and watching and wondering as Emma grew and progressed through the developmentalmilestones of the first year Were Heidi and her coauthors pediatricians as well as parents, they couldhave drawn on clinical experience and thinking, but perhaps at the expense of their experience andthinking as parents They may have still mentioned all of the advantages of breastfeeding and the
rationale of not starting baby foods until a baby is developmentally ready But would they have
covered the advantages of choosing a name for a baby that is easy to say and to spell, and avoidingnames that are trendy or political? They would still have talked about the foods that comprise the
“Baby Daily Dozen” to help assure good nutrition, but would they have told us about saving emptybaby food jars to warm and serve small portions? They stress the importance of taking the full dose of
a prescribed medicine with all the conviction of your child’s doctor, but they add that you might
consider chilling the medicine, a trick to make it more palatable without affecting potency And tryusing a shallow medicine spoon … well, you can read about why
The scope of What to Expect the First Year puts it almost in a category of its own While some
Trang 36authors do quite well with medical advice, they skimp on the developmental side, or fail to go beyondthe basics of nutrition Others that emphasize child development are unconvincing—and thereforeunreassuring—on issues of physical health and disease prevention This book covers almost
everything a parent could want to know about raising an infant Whether you are preparing formula,removing splinters, considering the advantages of teaching a baby sign language, or are curious aboutwhether the rash is due to Fifth Disease, this book will be of help It may not always replace more
definitive and specialized sources of information, but it probably will More often than not, First
Year will get you through until morning!
Readers will appreciate the attention to detail in First Year Among the list of environmental
hazards are the seldom-mentioned sewing and knitting supplies that are too small and too sharp tosafely occupy the same space as an active and inquisitive eight-month-old If you want to know aboutbaby acne, how and where to find good in-home child care, what the outlook is for a premature babywith chronic lung disease, or just need a dosage chart for common fever medicines, it’s here Theauthors’ time-tested month-by-month approach, including the reassuring “What your child may bedoing” section, remains in this second edition There is also a special section on seasonally
appropriate advice, a section on first aid, on premature babies, and on adopted babies There is
special advice for fathers and for siblings And, as in the past, there is an excellent reference sectionthat covers recipes, home remedies, and common illnesses
While most of what made the first edition of First Year so popular remains, many sections have
had important updates This second edition updates child safety seat information, child CPR
recommendations, information for parents of children with special needs, including small prematures,and there is updated information on immunizations and common childhood illnesses Chapters such as
“Becoming a Father,” “The Adopted Baby,” and “The First Postpartum Days” continue to provideparents with the kinds of practical, reassuring information that keeps this book a top seller year afteryear
What to Expect the First Year has not only aged well, it has gotten better I have long advised
new parents to keep several books on their reference shelf, if possible But if they had to choose just
one book to keep on hand, this should be the one What to Expect the First Year stands alone as well
as, if not better than, any current book on infant care
—M ARK D W IDOME , M.D., M.P.H.
Professor of Pediatrics The Penn State Children’s Hospital
Hershey, Pennsylvania
Trang 37A SECOND BABY IS BORN
How time flies when you’ve been raising children and writing books Though it seems like just
yesterday (okay, maybe the day before yesterday) when my husband, Erik, and I brought our firstbaby, Emma, home from the hospital, it’s actually been over twenty years (eighteen since we broughthome her brother, Wyatt) And though it seems like just yesterday that my coauthors and I delivered
the first edition of What to Expect the First Year, it’s actually been nearly a decade and a half.
Time for another baby? Don’t think so (though I’m admittedly tempted whenever a warm bundlegets within cuddling distance, I’ve become a little too attached to uninterrupted sleep) Time for
another edition of First Year? Absolutely.
Which brings to mind a question I get a lot: Why would you need to write another edition of What
to Expect the First Year? Have babies really changed all that much in the last fifteen years?
It’s true, though every baby is unique (as second-time parents are quick to discover), as a group
today’s babies aren’t all that different than babies born when First Year was (though they are, on
average, a bit bigger) They still spend a good amount of time eating, sleeping, and crying They stilldon’t have a whole lot of hair or a whole lot of teeth They still go through plenty of diapers Theystill smell sweeter than any perfume They’re still round and soft and (for lack of a better word)
yummy They still have the same basic needs: food, comfort, and lots of love And because they stilldon’t come with instructions, they still keep their parents guessing (and turning to books like this one)
—a lot
But while babies haven’t changed all that much, how we care for them has
From the way we put them to sleep (backs, please, not tummies) to the way we soothe them (howabout a massage, baby?) to the way we communicate with them (baby talk out, baby signs in) Fromguidelines on feeding (breastfeed longer, start solids later) to guidelines on immunization (combinedvaccines mean fewer tears) to guidelines on car seat safety (babies now stay rear-facing until theirfirst birthday, no matter how big they get before then) Figure in the explosion of baby products (fromnursing pillows to hands-free breast pumps, from angled bottles to spill-proof cups, from high-techbaby monitors to low-tech baby slings), and it’s clearly time for a revision
What can you expect from this second edition? Plenty that’s new and improved; dozens of newquestions and answers, many of them inspired by reader’s letters; expanded sections on a multitude oftopics (from understanding your newborn to stimulating your older baby, from juggling career andfamily to mediating sibling squabbles); a new chapter devoted to breastfeeding; the latest informationand the latest trends on everything baby: more illustrations—all of them new
But because some things about babies never change, you can expect that some things about What
to Expect the First Year haven’t changed, either The easy-to-use format, the
no-question-istoo-silly-to-ask philosophy, the familiar reassurance that breeds comfort—and hopefully, all the help that
you’ll need to see you and baby happily and healthily through those remarkable (and exhausting) firsttwelve months
Wishing you a wonderful First Year!
Trang 38—H EIDI M URKOFF
Trang 39Part 1
THE FIRST YEAR
Trang 40CHAPTER 1 Get Ready, Get Set
After nearly nine months of waiting, there’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel (perhaps, even,effacement and dilatation at the end of the cervix) But with just weeks to go before D day, have youcome to terms with your baby coming to term? Will you be ready for your baby’s arrival when he orshe is ready to arrive?
Even former Scouts will find there’s no way to be completely prepared for the time when babymakes three (or more) But there are a myriad of steps that can be taken to make the transition a
smoother one—from selecting the right baby name to selecting the right doctor, from deciding
between breast and bottle to deciding between cloth diapers and disposables, from psyching yourself
up for the changes the new arrival will bring to preparing the family dog The flurry of activity as youattempt to get ready and set may occasionally seem frenzied, but you’ll find it good preparation forthe even more hectic pace that awaits you after baby’s born
FEEDING YOUR BABY:
Breast or Formula, or Both
Perhaps there’s never been a question for you When you close your eyes and summon up a
daydreamed snapshot of life with baby, you clearly see yourself suckling your precious bundle at thebreast or, just as clearly, cuddling your newborn as he or she takes a bottle Whatever your reasons—practical, emotional, or medical—your mind was made up about baby feeding early in pregnancy,perhaps even before conception
Or maybe that snapshot isn’t quite so well focused Maybe you can’t exactly see yourself
breastfeeding, but you’ve heard so much about how breast milk is better for baby that you can’t seeyourself bottle feeding either Or maybe you’d really like to give breastfeeding a try but fear that itwon’t mix well with working, or with sleeping, or with romance Or maybe it’s your spouse’s mixedfeelings—or a friend’s, or your mother’s—that are giving you second thoughts
No matter what’s causing your indecision, or your ambivalence, or your confusion about the rightbaby-feeding method for you, the best way to bring that fuzzy picture into focus is to explore the facts,
as well as your feelings First of all, what are the facts?
FACTS FAVORING BREASTFEEDING
No matter how far technology advances, there will always be some things that nature does better.Among them: formulate the best food and best food delivery system for babies—a system that is at thesame time good for mothers As Oliver Wendell Holmes Senior said well over a century ago, “A pair
of substantial mammary glands has the advantage over the two hemispheres of the most learned
professor’s brain in the art of compounding a nutritious fluid for infants.” Today, pediatricians,
obstetricians, nurse-midwives, even manufacturers of infant formula concur: Under most