Megan mcdonald STINK 02 stink and the incredible super ker (v5 0)

She pretended to watch the Oompa-Loompas dancing on the TV screen in front of her.Stink popped from one shelf to the next, filling his basket with suckers and sourballs, gumballs andgumm

This is a work of fiction Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used

fictitiously.

Text copyright © 2006 by Megan McDonald Cover and interior illustrations copyright © 2006 by Peter H Reynolds Stink ® Stink is a registered trademark of Candlewick Press, Inc.

All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the

Includes a list of idioms used in the story.

Summary: Seven-year-old Stink Moody discovers that he can get free samples by writing letters to candy companies and plans a surprise

for his best friend’s birthday.

ISBN 978-0-7636-2158-2 (hardcover) [1 Candy — Fiction 2 Letters — Fiction 3 Schools — Fiction 4 English language — Idioms — Fiction 5 Humorous stories.]

I Reynolds, Peter, date, ill II Title.

PZ7.M1487 St 2006 [Fic] — dc22 2004062871 ISBN 978-0-7636-3236-6 (paperback) ISBN 978-0-7636-5189-3 (electronic) The illustrations for this book were created digitally.

Candlewick Press

99 Dover Street Somerville, Massachusetts 02144 visit us at www.candlewick.com

Double Trouble

Feel Like a Heel

A Leopard Can Change Its Spots

Then he saw it Right smack in the middle of it all.

Hello! Welcome to Planet Jawbreaker!

Super-galactic jawbreakers! Stink reached to pick one up It was an earth, a globe, a world untoitself A speckled, sparkling planet Bigger than a marble Bigger than a Super Ball Bigger than a golfball World’s largest jawbreaker! Or at least the biggest Stink had ever seen in his whole entire sevenyears on the planet

Stink’s sister, Judy, ran up to him “Look, Stink, they have bubblegum baloney and lollipops thatplay music and real-and-true rain-forest gum and best of all gummy brains! I can’t decide WHATyou’re getting me!”

“Your brains are gummy if you think I’m buying you stuff,” Stink told his big sister Sometimes bigsisters were so double-triple-quadruple bossy.

“C’mon, Stink Don’t be a sourball You have a big fat five-dollar gift certificate.”

“I earned it! Dad took me to the college, and I was in a study for short people I had to answerreally hard questions.”

“Stink, I can’t help it if I’m not short! Please, pretty please, with gummy brains on top? Just onecandy cell phone? Purple candy corn? A diamond-ring lollipop? I know, I know! If you won’t buy mecandy, how about this How-to-Make-Your-Own-Gum kit?”

“No, no, no, no, and nope.”

“C’mon, Stinker Just one teeny-weeny piece of candy? How much can one piece of penny candycost?”

“Ten cents Some penny candy costs twenty-five cents.”

“Huh? How can something that costs a penny cost a quarter?”

“Beats me,” said Stink

Stink’s sister, Judy, was in a mood She slumped down on the car-seat couch in the corner of thecandy store She pretended to watch the Oompa-Loompas dancing on the TV screen in front of her.Stink popped from one shelf to the next, filling his basket with suckers and sourballs, gumballs andgummy worms.

“Stink, I’m telling Dad you’re acting like a kid in a candy store,” said Judy

“But I AM a kid in a candy store,” said Stink “Hey! You just said an idiom.”

“I am NOT an idiot!” said Judy

“Id-i-om It’s what you call a funny saying Mrs D taught us a bunch of them Like if you’re in abad mood, I could say you got up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“But I’m not in a bad mood, because you’re going to get me some candy, right?”

“Wrong.”

“Is stinks on ice an idiom? How about rotten to the core?” said moody Judy.

“Now you’re acting like sour grapes,” said Stink “Get it? Sour grapes is another idiom.”

“Stop saying idiom!” said Judy.

“Okay! Okay! If I get you candy, what will you give me?” asked Stink “Let’s strike a deal Get

it?”

Judy rolled her eyes “How about one Grouchy pencil and two president baseball cards for thisbox of rain-forest gum?”

“Three president baseball cards,” said Stink “And one of them has to be James Madison.”

“Deal,” said Judy “Goody goody gumdrops! Thanks, Stink Now, Richie Rich, let me see whatyou’re getting yourself with all that money.”

“I,” said Stink, “am getting the World’s Biggest Jawbreaker.” He held it up for Judy to see “Itchanges colors and flavors as you go.”

“Rare! It looks like an earth Or a giant emu egg or something.”

“Or something,” said Stink

“Stink, I don’t think you want to eat that Says here on the box that it contains wax.”

“Does not.”

“Does too!” Judy pointed to the words on the box

“So? I’ve eaten wax before.”

“Like the earth’s core!” said Stink

“RARE!” said Judy “Do you think it’ll really break your jaw?”

“It better!” said Stink

Stink took one lick Then another Then another The giant jawbreaker was way too big to fit into hismouth.

Slurp He licked that jawbreaker all the way home.

Sloop He licked it all the way up to his room.

Slop He licked it while he fed Toady one-handed He licked it while he played with his president

baseball cards (including James Madison, thanks to Judy) He licked it while he did his homeworkone-handed He licked it the whole time he talked to Grandma Lou on the phone, telling her all aboutthe Pajama Day they were going to have in Mrs D.’s class

He even licked it while he set the table for dinner One-handed, of course

Pretty soon his lips were green and his tongue was blue and his hands were as sticky as gum on asneaker bottom

“Hey,” Judy asked at dinner “Why is there a big fat sticky blue fingerprint on my plate?”

“Oops,” said Stink, licking off his fingers “Finger-lickin’ good!”

“Stink’s eating a jawbreaker for dinner!” said Judy, pointing

“Stink, put that jawbreaker down and eat some real food,” said Dad “Here Have some macaroni.”

“This is real food,” said Stink “It contains vitamins A and C and calcium No lie.”

“And dextrose, sucrose, fructose, and other stuff that makes you comatose,” said Judy

“It’s NOT going to make me comb my toes,” said Stink

“And don’t forget wax,” said Judy

“Macaroni,” said Mom “You heard Dad And green beans.”

“But it didn’t break my jaw yet,” said Stink “It didn’t even stretch my mouth one bit.”

“You already have a big mouth,” said Judy

“Hardee-har-har,” said Stink “Well, it didn’t set my tongue on fire yet or make my cheeks feel like

a chipmunk, either.”

“It may not break your jaw,” said Judy, “but all your teeth are going to fall out For sure andabsolute positive Did you know Queen Elizabeth ate so many candies from her pockets that her teethturned black? No lie!”

“At least I won’t have to brush them every day!” said Stink

Every day, Stink ate a little more and a little more of his jawbreaker He ate it in bed first thing in themorning before he brushed his teeth He ate it at recess in between playing H-O-R-S-E with hissuper-duper best friend, Webster He ate it on the bus and all the way home from school.

He gave a lick to Mouse the cat He gave a lick to Toady the toad He even tried giving a lick toJaws the Venus flytrap

Stink’s jawbreaker went from super-galactic to just plain galactic From golf-ball size to Ball size

Super-“Are you still eating that thing?” asked Judy Stink stuck out his tongue

“Well, you look like a skink,” said Judy She pointed to his blue tongue

Shloop! went Stink.

Stink ate his not-super-galactic jawbreaker for one whole week He ate it when it tasted like chalk

He ate it when it tasted like grapefruit He ate it through the fiery core to the sweet, sugary center Heate it down to a marble A teeny-tiny pea

Then, in one single bite, one not-jaw-breaking crunch, it was G-O-N-E, gone

Stink was down in the dumps He moped around the house for one whole day and a night He

stomped up the stairs He stomped down He drew comics Ka-POW! He did not play with Toady

once He did not do his homework He went outside and bounced Judy’s basketball 117 times

“Somebody got up on the WRONG side of the bed,” said Judy “If I didn’t know better, I’d thinkyou were in a MOOD.”

“I can have moods too, you know.” Stink kept counting “One hundred eighteen, one hundrednineteen ”

“Is it because your jawbreaker’s all gone?” asked Judy

“It’s because that jawbreaker lied They should call it World’s Biggest UN-jawbreaker I ate andate that thing for one whole week, and it did not break my jaw Not once It didn’t even make my

mouth one teeny-weeny bit bigger See?” Stink clicked and clacked his teeth open and shut.

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” said Judy “I mean, if it did break your jaw for real, wouldn’t you bemad?”

“Yeah, but instead I’m madder.” Stink had an idea

A brilliant what-to-do-when-you’re-mad idea Stink would write a letter A real-and-true officialsnail-mail letter A letter with a greeting and a body and a closing, just the way Mrs D taught them intheir how-to-write-a-letter unit at school

Exactly eleven days later, a package arrived for Stink A box that thumped and clunked when heshook it A box that rattled and crunched when he opened it A big box full of jawbreakers!

Stink read the letter “Dear Mr Stink Moody, blah blah While we are not in the business ofbreaking jaws blah blah blah sorry that our jawbreaker did not meet your satisfaction more blah please accept an assortment of fun, exciting and brand-new jawbreakers you might like .”

“Holy jawbreaker heaven!” There were mega jawbreakers, mini jawbreakers, monsterjawbreakers, black, rainbow, and psychedelic jawbreakers, asteroids and alien heads, glow-in-the-darks and gobstoppers, even jawbreaker lollipops on a stick with a bubblegum center

“Leaping lollipops!” squealed Judy “Where’d you get all these? There’s more jawbreakers herethan in Willy Wonka’s house.” She tossed a handful up in the air

“Ten whole pounds!” said Stink “It says so right here Wait till I tell Webster!”

“That’s 21,280 jawbreakers!” Judy pointed to the number on the box

“What am I gonna do with twenty thousand million jawbreakers?”

“Get twenty thousand million cavities, of course,” said Judy “C’mon, let’s divide them up We caneach set up our own jawbreaker store and trade them with each other Or we could start our ownjawbreaker museum.”

“What do you mean WE?” asked Stink

“You and me,” Judy said “Two heads are better than one I mean two jawbreaker eaters are better

than one.”

“No way are you getting half!” said Stink “They’re mine-all-mine, and I get to decide.”

“Stink, you never share!”

“You know what they say You can’t teach an old dog new tricks! A leopard can’t change itsspots! Besides, I’m the one who wrote the letter.”

“What letter?”

“I wrote a letter to the jawbreaker company about how my super-galactic jawbreaker did not break

my jaw.”

“No fair!” said Judy “I wrote a letter once that you, my little brother, wrecked my Betta doll, and all I got from the doll company was a get-well card.”

Hedda-Get-Stink cracked up

“Are you sure you didn’t win a contest for being short or something?” Judy asked

“Honest! All I did was write one puny little letter.”

Suddenly, Stink had an idea Not a puny little idea A great big super-galactic idea

If Stink could write one letter, he could write two three four! It would be just likehomework Mrs D said practice makes perfect If he wrote more letters, he could get more free stuff.And if he got more free stuff, he’d be like a bazillionaire!

Stink took out his best writing-a-real-letter paper At the top it said, FROM THE DESK OFSTINK MOODY

Stink started to write He wrote and wrote and wrote He used his best-ever A+ penmanship Hewrote until his hand felt like it was falling off Three whole letters! Mrs D would give him a tripleGolden Pen rubber stamp for extra, extra, extra credit

Once he started, Stink could not stop writing letters He wrote a letter to Webster (the friend, not thedictionary) He wrote a letter to his other best friend, Elizabeth, who liked to be called Sophie of theElves He even wrote a letter to his teacher, telling her how great he was at writing letters.

At school, when Mrs Dempster put a sample letter on the board, full of mistakes, Stink found every

single goof, including Deer Sirs and Yours Untruly.

“Stink, you really put your thinking cap on today!” said Mrs D “Now, who can tell me what thebest part of writing a letter is?” she asked

“When you’re done?” asked Webster

“Cool stamps?” asked Sophie of the Elves

“When somebody writes back!” said Mrs D

“Especially when they write back with like about a million jawbreakers,” said Stink

“Speaking of a million, it’s time for math,” said Mrs D

Waiting sure was bor-ing UN-amazing Stink came home from school and checked the mailbox firstthing every day He did not get one puny letter Not even a postcard! Not from the candy company that

couldn’t spell cat Not from the toy company with the microbot that wouldn’t listen Not from the city

park with no monkeys Nothing Nada Zip Zero

“Maybe my letters got lost,” said Stink

“Maybe they know you’re just trying to get free stuff,” said Judy

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Maybe I forgot to put stamps on them,” said Stink

“Maybe your letters were abducted by alien microbots,” said Judy

“Hardee-har-har So funny I forgot to laugh.”

Then one day it happened, all at once

“When it rains, it pours,” Mom said

Stink did not see any rain, but he did see a package From the toy company He tore open the box.Microbots! Monsters and spotted dogs and striped cats Blue lions and pink mice and even a koala!

Stink read the card “It says since my microbot didn’t work, try these!”

“No fair!” said Judy “You have all the luck.”

“Knock on wood,” said Stink Just then there was a knock on the (wood!) door Judy ran to open it

“Package,” said the delivery guy “For a Mr Stink Moody.”

“Nobody lives here with that name,” said Judy

“Do too!” said Stink He dropped his bots and ran to the door

“Sign here,” said the guy

“He can’t even write cursive!” said Judy.

“Can too!” said Stink, printing his name with curlicues to look like cursive

Stink shook the box “I wonder what it is .”

“I wonder,” said Judy “Could it be about one million Kool Katz bars?”

“It says here they spelled Katz with a K on purpose because they thought it would look kool But

they’re sending me free stuff for my trouble.”

Judy tried to open the box “Hey, let me!” said Stink His jaw dropped open Tweezlers andWhizzles, Double Yum Bubblegum, Milk Dudes and Paychecks, Grunts and 6th Avenues, Almost Joysand Peanut Butter Yucks

“RARE!” said Judy “I’ve never seen so many candy bars.”

“And don’t forget the jar of chocolate-chip peanut butter, the mint green chocolate crossword

puzzle, and the Kool Katz baseball cap!”

“Triple rare!” said Judy

“And it’s F-R-E-E, free.” said Stink “Free as a bird! And all mine!”

Judy was mint green with envy She wished she’d gotten two tons of special-delivery, cursive free candy and stuff “Stink, you can’t just keep all this stuff It’s like stealing or something.”

sign-in-“Or something,” said Stink “No way am I giving it back I didn’t take it.”

Just then the phone rang “Stink, it’s for you,” said Mom “They asked for Mr Moody, and theydon’t mean Dad.”

Mom passed the phone to Stink and went back into her office

“Yes, I’m him Uh-huh Really? No lie? How many do I want? I can have five? With monkeys? Okay Yes, I think I would be satisfied.”

twenty-“What?” asked Judy

“It was the City Parks Department I get a whole bunch of FREE monkey pencils and one free pass

to the zoo! To go see monkeys! And lemurs!”

“I’m telling,” said Judy “Mo-om!”

“Shh!” said Stink

Mom came back into the front room “It’s no fair,” Judy told her “Stink gets tons of free stuff and

he won’t give me ANY and I wrote a letter one time and all I got was a big fat nothing.”

“Stink?” asked Mom “What’s this all about?”

“Nothing!” said Stink

“It doesn’t look like nothing.”

“Okay, okay Mrs D taught us how to write letters and I was just practicing, you know, likehomework ”

“Ha!” said Judy

“And maybe I sent some letters to some people .”

“Companies!” said Judy “Begging for free stuff!”

“No way!” said Stink “I just told them some stuff that was wrong with things, and they sent me allthis! And it’s free, and no way is it stealing!” said Stink

“Stink,” said Mom, “no more letters Later on we’ll talk to Dad about what to do with all thisstuff.”

“Do we have to send it back?” asked Stink

“We’ll see,” said Mom

“Ha!” Judy whispered “That means YES!”

After that, the mail got way boring No exciting letters, no mysterious packages Stink got a postcard

about wearing a seat belt, a new issue of Short Stuff magazine, and some envelope addressed in

super-messy writing He didn’t bother opening it Bor-ing!

Then, after dinner, as if Mom had read his mind, she told Stink out of the blue, “I almost forgot Abox came for you It’s on the table.”

“Not another one,” said Judy, hitting her forehead “No fair Stink, you’re not supposed to write

any more letters.”

“I didn’t!” said Stink “I swear!”

“Don’t worry It’s from someone you know and love this time.”

“Jawbreaker Heaven? Gobstoppers? I know and love them.”

“No Grandma Lou She heard about Pajama Day.”

“Pajama Day?” asked Judy

“It’s only in Mrs D.’s class,” said Stink “We get to bring stuffed animals and a sleeping bag andwear pajamas and stuff Then we read books all day and we don’t have math and she brings her dog.”

“What does her dog have to do with Pajama Day?” asked Judy

“I’m just saying,” said Stink

“How come Stink gets a present and not me?” asked Judy

“It’s not a present,” said Stink “It’s for Pajama Day That’s like homework.”

“Just my luck,” said Judy “I have math and spelling, and Stink gets pajama homework.” Shepeered over Stink’s shoulder as he opened the box

“Stop crowding,” said Stink “I need my personal space.”

Judy reached into the box and snatched something “Look! I got a Bonjour Bunny shirt!”

“How come you get that?” asked Stink

“For Un-pajama Day!” said Judy

Stink pulled out a pair of striped PJs with bacon and eggs all over them “No way am I wearingthese for Pajama Day,” said Stink

“Why not?” asked Mom.

“Hello! Kindergarten!” said Stink

“Well, I think they’re cute as a bug’s ear,” said Mom

Mouse raced over and licked the pajama eggs

“Mouse likes them!” said Judy “Look, Stink The sunny-side-up eggs have glow-in-the-darkmiddles! You love stuff that glows.”

“Wait Let me see,” said Stink

“Just try them on, honey,” said Mom

Stink pulled off his shirt and put on the pajama top He stretched his arms out and turned back andforth, showing off

“Stink, you look like a walking menu No, a night-light! No, an electric eel!” said Judy “How willyou ever get to sleep?”

“It’s better than the I TRUCKS ones I got last year,” said Stink “Besides, the glow-in-the-dark

part is kool-with-a-k!” All of a sudden, Stink started to squirm He scratched his arm He scratched

his neck He pulled at the tag in back

“What’s wrong?” asked Judy “Your new PJs have cooties?”

“These pajamas itch,” said Stink

“Here, I’ll cut off the tags and soften them up in the washer for tomorrow,” said Mom “You getready for bed now, Stink You too, Judy.”