IELTS WRITING CORRECTION – THAO MYThe computer is widely used in education and some people think that teachers will not play To what extent do you agree or disagree?. Nowaday, with the s
Trang 1IELTS WRITING CORRECTION – THAO MY
The computer is widely used in education and some people think that teachers will not play
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowaday, with the significant development of technical information, computer is a popular tool supporting for education While many argued that the mission of teacher is not really important
in classroom, from my perspectives, I strong believe that replacing teachers by computers is not
a judicious decision because of many below reasons
It is an undeniable fact that besides giving knowledge to students, teachers also are psychological consultants First of all, facing widely knowledge coming around the World is challenging, thus simplifying them in different ways is teacher’s responsibility Additionally, in the different timelines of student’s lives, they will get into psychological problems which means that teacher will become their mentor evidently For example, through obverse children, teachers can understand about what time they need advises for their family troubles, their study pressures or even their loves Finally, despite the high speed of modernized computer, software serving for education is not really complete Therefore, accessing to academic knowledge is barrier with children
On another hand, depending too much on computers leads to many serious consequences Firstly, controlling the inconsistent information sources is difficult issue for schools applying computer in their teaching Besides, many poor areas, where people can not catch up technology, do not have enough advantage situations to develop educational equipments For example, with people who have to face famine everyday, having computer to learn is too luxury Last but not least important, the high budget supporting for plan to teaching by computer will put great pressure on the government policies while there are too much social problems we have to overcome
To summarize, computers plays an increasingly important role in education, teachers still are student’s cicerones In spite of thinking about replacement of teachers, we should consider about how teachers can use computers in their teaching
Trang 2IELTS WRITING CORRECTION – THAO MY
Grade Task
Response 7.5 Your essay addresses the essential parts of the task andpresents a well-developed response to the question with
relevant ideas Your conclusion is good
However, some ideas are vaguely expressed Besides, some main points in paragraph 2 and 3 may be lacking in supporting examples.
Cohesion
and
Coherence
7.0 Attempts to use cohesive devices are visible There is overall
progression throughout
However, there are some mistakes with connectives (On THE OTHER hand, Last but not least, etc.)
Vocabulary 7.0 Attempts to use less common vocabulary are visible.
However, there are some mistakes Be careful with word use I recommend using OALD, thesaurus.com and ozdic.com for your practice on vocabulary
Grammar 7.0 Attempts to use complex sentence structures are visible.
However, there are some grammatical errors Try to be more precise in your expression
Overall 7.0 A good piece of writing Try to expand your lexical
resources and pay more attention to grammar Remember to
be concise in your expression.
Keep up the good work!