Psychology applied to modern life adjustment in the 21st century, 11e chapter 10

Alternative Relationship Lifestyles, continuedGay relationships, continued • Attitudes toward gay couples divided over the morality of homosexual partnerships see Figure 10.10.. Applicat

Chapter 10 Marriage and Intimate Relationships

Challenges to the

Traditional Model of Marriage, continued

sanctioned union of sexually intimate adults”

Challenges, continued

challenged the “traditional” model of marriage:

1 Increased acceptance of singlehood – since the 1960s, the median age at which people marry has been increasing (see Figure 10.1)

2 Increased acceptance of cohabitation –

“living together in a sexually intimate relationship without the legal bonds of marriage”

Figure 10.1 Median age at first marriage The median age at which people in the United States marry for

the first time has been creeping up for both males and females since the mid-1960s This trend indicates that more people are postponing marriage (Data from U.S Bureau of the Census)

Challenges, continued

Trends, continued

3 Reduced premium on permanence

4 Transitions in gender roles – role

expectations are more varied, flexible, and ambiguous

5 Increased voluntary childlessness

6 Decline of the “nuclear family”

Deciding to Marry, continued

Cultural influences on marriages

marriages

individual’s, welfare

Deciding to Marry, continued

or no independence, access to education, or political power

Deciding to Marry, continued

Selecting a mate, continued

within their own social group”

others who have similar personal

characteristics”

Deciding to Marry, continued

Selecting a mate, continued

• Gender and mate selection preferences

partner’s socioeconomic status, intelligence, ambition, and financial prospects

partner’s youthfulness and physical attractiveness

Deciding to Marry, continued

Predictors of marital success

were divorced are more likely to divorce themselves

more likely to divorce

courtship are associated with marital success

loosely associated with marital problems

Deciding to Marry, continued

Predictors of marital success, continued

loosely associated with marital problems

communication is especially crucial

remarks and being unsupportive are all associated with marital distress

Marital Adjustments, continued

of developmental stages that families tend to progress through”

special challenges that are faced by couples as they progress through six stages of family life (see Figure 10.4)

Figure 10.4 Stages of the family life cycle The family life cycle can be divided into six stages, as shown

here (based on Carter & McGoldrick, 1988) The family’s key developmental task during each stage is identified in the second column The third column lists additional developmental tasks at each stage.

Marital Adjustments, continued

McGoldrick’s model, continued

1 Between families: the unattached young

adult

likely lengthen

2 Joining together: the newly married couple

high levels of satisfaction

Marital Adjustments, continued

McGoldrick’s model, continued

3 Family with young children

and potential stress, especially for mothers

transition is having realistic expectations.

Marital Adjustments, continued

McGoldrick’s model, continued

4 Family with adolescent children

stage of parenting, and marital satisfaction is

at its lowest point

(both males and females) and mothers

their own aging parents These double responsibilities spurred the term, the

“sandwich generation”

Marital Adjustments, continued

McGoldrick’s model, continued

5 Launching children into the adult world.

traditionally thought to create feelings of loss

parenthood, and this is now generally

associated with greater marital satisfaction.

children return to “the nest”

Marital Adjustments, continued

McGoldrick’s model, continued

6 The family in later life

postparental period when couples have more time to devote to one another

to decline and/or a spouse dies

Vulnerable Areas, continued

1 Gaps in role expectations

marital roles, and women are especially affected

careers

children or to follow their husbands

household chores, even when they work similar hours (see Figure 10.5)

Figure 10.5 Division of household labor This chart breaks down the proportion of housework done by

husbands and wives for specific tasks The data show that wives continue to do a highly disproportionate share of most household tasks, especially the “core housework” tasks (cooking, cleaning, laundry) that are hard to ignore Note also, that in spite of great changes in modern life, the division of labor in the household still largely meshes with traditional gender roles (Data from Bianchi et al., 2000)

Vulnerable Areas, continued

2 Work and career issues

– Work and marital adjustment

the demands of work and family

Vulnerable Areas, continued

2 Work and career issues, continued

– Parents’ work and children’s

development.

their dual careers on the children

that a mother’s working is harmful to her children, especially after the child is one year of age

Vulnerable Areas, continued

3 Financial difficulties

increases as husband’s income declines

common and potentially damaging at all income levels

Vulnerable Areas, continued

4 Inadequate communication

frequently cited problem among couples getting

a divorce (see Figure 10.6)

misunderstood

Figure 10.6 Causes of divorce When Cleek and Pearson (1985) asked divorcing couples about their

perceptions regarding the causes of their divorce, both men and women cited communication difficulties more than any other cause.

Vulnerable Areas, continued

Inadequate communication, continued

factors for divorce are

Divorce, continued

to 40-45%), it is still high enough to cause

concern

marriage (see Figure 10.7), usually due to

Figure 10.7 Divorce rate as a function of years married This graph shows the distribution of divorces in

relation to how long couples have been married As you can see, the vast majority of divorces occur in the early years, with divorce rates peaking between the fifth and tenth years of marriage (Data from National Center for Heath Statistics)

Divorce, continued

Deciding on a divorce

usually the result of a long series of smaller

events that unfold over a long period of time

Adjusting to divorce

than to men, especially if there are children

Divorce, continued

Adjusting to a divorce, continued

associated with poorer adjustment

after a divorce include

Divorce, continued

Effects of divorce on children

Divorce, continued

Effects of divorce on children, continued

children that depend on a complex array of factors

positive effects on children IF it reduces or removes conflict that was present in their married parents

Divorce, continued

Remarriage

eventually remarry

than for first, marriages

children and stepparent-stepchild relations tend

to be more negative and distant than

parent-child relations in first marriages (see Figure

10.9)

Figure 10.9 Children’s adjustment in four types of families Acock and Demo (1994) assessed

children’s adjustment in four types of family structures: first marriages, divorced single-parent homes,

stepfamilies, and families in which the mother never married The comparisons of 2,457 families did turn up some statistically significant differences, as children’s overall well-being was highest in intact first marriages However, as you can see, the differences were rather small, and the authors concluded that “family

structure has a modest effect on children’s well-being”.

Alternative Relationship Lifestyles, continued

Gay relationships

women who seek committed emotional-sexual relationships with members of the same

gender”

females are in committed relationships

relationships, however

Alternative Relationship Lifestyles, continued

Gay relationships, continued

• Attitudes toward gay couples

divided over the morality of homosexual

partnerships (see Figure 10.10)

discrimination against homosexuals”

housing discrimination, physical abuse, and hate crimes

Figure 10.10 Attitudes toward homosexual partnerships In a 2008 Gallup poll, individuals were asked if

they felt certain issues were morally right or morally wrong As you can see, Americans were equally

divided over the morality of homosexual relations (Saad, 2008).

Alternative Relationship Lifestyles, continued

Gay relationships, continued

• Comparisons to heterosexual couples

context and are subject to more prejudice and discrimination

status and rights as married heterosexual couples

Alternative Relationship Lifestyles, continued

Gay relationships, continued

conflict resolution

Alternative Relationship Lifestyles, continued

Gay relationships, continued

• Gay parenting

individuals, than as members of families

involved with their families

parents is similar to children of heterosexual parents, and they are no more likely to become gay than are

children of heterosexual parents

Alternative Relationship Lifestyles, continued

Remaining single

the single population, including

“bitter and unhappy” or as “bar-hopping

socialites”, there is little support for either

Alternative Relationship Lifestyles, continued

Remaining single, continued

exhibit slightly worse mental and physical health and rate themselves as less happy

applies more to men than to women

Alternative Relationship Lifestyles, continued

intimate relationship outside of marriage”

number of couples who cohabitate (see Figure 10.13)

marriage”, hoping to ensure success

with increases in marital discord, not

success

Figure 10.13 Cohabitation in the United States The number of unmarried couples living together has

been increasing rapidly since 1970 (based on U.S Census data) This increase shows no signs of leveling off.

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

• Intimate partner violence – “is aggression

toward those who are in close relationship to the aggressor”

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

• Partner abuse often includes these forms of

battering:

withholding money)

manipulate, or demean the other)

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

Partner Abuse, continued

• Incidence and consequences

physically assaulted by an intimate partner

crimes, and are victims in 75% of murders committed by spouses

disorder and are vulnerable to suicide

anxiety and depression

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

Partner abuse, continued

• Characteristics of batterers

violence include

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

Partner abuse, continued

• Why do women stay?

face family and friends

abuse or murder (statistics support this fear).

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

intercourse in the context of dating”

or even between engaged couples

coercion; may involve a weapon

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

Date rape, continued

• Incidence and consequences

some point in their lives

know (see Figure 10.15)

particularly traumatic

posttraumatic stress, and risk for suicide

Figure 10.15 Rape victim-offender relationships Based on a national survey of 3,187 college women,

Mary Koss and her colleagues (1988) identified a sample of 468 women who indicated that they had been a victim of rape and who provided information on the relationship to the offender Contrary to the prevailing stereotype, only a small minority (11%) had been raped by a stranger As you can see, over half of rapes occur in the context of dating relationships (Data based on Koss et al., 1988)

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

Date rape, continued

• Contributing factors

drugs)

consents to sex

hostile toward women, heavy alcohol users, endorse stereotypes about male dominance, and have had more sex partners than age-mates

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

Contributing factors, continued

hostile toward women

male dominance

partners than their age-mates

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

Contributing factors, continued

date rape It is more likely if

activity

interest in sex in the past

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

• Reducing the incidence of date rape

1 Recognize data rape as an act of sexual

aggression

2 Become familiar with the characteristics of

men who are likely to engage in date rape (see Figure 10.16)

3 Beware of excessive alcohol and drug use,

which may lower your inhibitions

Figure 10.16 Date rapists: warning signs According to Rozee, Bateman, and Gilmore (1991), four

factors appear to distinguish date rapists: feelings of sexual entitlement, a penchant for exerting power and control, high hostility and anger, and acceptance of interpersonal violence The presence of more than one

of these characteristics is an important warning sign When sexual entitlement is coupled with any other factor, special heed should be taken.

Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued

Reducing date rape, continued

4 When dating someone new, only go to public

places and carry enough money to get home

on your own

5 Communicate feelings and expectations

about sex

6 Be prepared to act aggressively if assertive

refusals do not work