essays

Overall, there are 3 main stages in the whole glass bottle recycling process, beginning with collecting wasted jars and finishing with the delivery of the products for sale.. In the last

Ver 1:

The diagram illustrates how wasted bottles made from glass are recycled and

delivered back to the store

Overall, there are 3 main stages in the whole glass bottle recycling process,

beginning with collecting wasted jars and finishing with the delivery of the products for sale

In the first stage, wasted glass jars are deposited at collection points where they are loaded on trucks to transport to a glass treatment plant In the second stage, several steps are taken in order to transform wasted glass to recycled products Firstly, bottles are washed under high-pressure water to remove any impurities, following that they are classified into 3 categories based on the colour, namely clear, green and brown glass They are then transferred to glass factories in which they are crushed into debris In the next step, those pieces are melted in a glass-melting furnace at around 600 to 800 degree Celsius After that, recycled liquid glass

together with new liquid glass are moulded into new products

In the last stage, the glass is used to bottle different products, and then sent back to the supermarket ready for sale

(185 words)

Written by Thu An (C u h c sinh l p tháng 9/2014)ự ọ ớ

Ver 2:

Report Plan:

Paraphrase paragraph: describe what the diagram shows, using some different vocabulary

Summary paragraph: number of stages [3]; refer to first and last stages [bottles collected/new bottles to supermarkets/shops]

Paragraph 3: stage 1

Paragraph 4: stage 2

Paragraph 5: stage 3

The diagram illustrates the various stages in the recycling of waste glass bottles

There are three main stages shown in the diagram, beginning with the collection of the used glass bottles and ending with the delivery of products in new bottles to retail outlets such as supermarkets

In the first stage, waste bottles are deposited at collection points, where they are loaded onto trucks for delivery to a glass recycling facility

Stage 2 begins with the process of cleaning the bottles with high pressure water and they are then separated into clear, green and brown glass This is then broken into pieces in the glass factory and passed through a furnace, where they are burned at

a temperature of 600 to 800 degrees Celsius This recycled glass is now in liquid form, and it is joined with new liquid glass ready for moulding into a bottle shape

In the final stage, the new bottles are used for different products, ready for sale in supermarkets or shops

166 words

Written by Ngoc Bach

1 Khi thi IELTS, giám kh o không quan tâm xem câu tr l i hay ý ki n c a b n úngả ả ờ ế ủ ạ đ

hay sai Quan tr ng nh t là b n có th ọ ấ ạ ể đưa ra câu tr l i sát v i câu h i ả ờ ớ ỏ đề bài, h ỗ

tr b ng các ý liên quan và trình bày sao cho bài m ch l c, d hi u nh t có thợ ằ ạ ạ ễ ể ấ ể

2 Nên l p dàn ý trậ ước khi vi t Thế ường mình nên khuyên các b n h c sinh nên ạ ọ

dành ra 5 phút l p dàn ý, phác trậ ước ý chính nh vi t trong 2 kh thân bài Có th đị ế ổ ể

note ra m t s "good vocabulary" liên quan ộ ố đến ch ủ đề để lúc vi t áp d ng cho ti n.ế ụ ệ

Ví d :ụ

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out What are the causes? What are the solutions?"

-> ESSAY PLAN:

Introduction: repeat the idea that people feel unsafe – at home and outside 2

important causes can be identified, but solutions can be adopted

Paragraph 2: Cause 1: widening gap between rich and poor – increase in crime: Vietnam example –burglary and robbery Cause 2: increasing dangers on roads – increase in traffic – example: children can’t play in the streets

Paragraph 3: Solution 1: tackle poverty – provide job training – help people into employment Solution 2: more surveillance cameras to help police enforce safety on public transport and on roads – speed limits, stop careless driving

Conclusion: repeat ideas in introduction, using some different words

what course it is (or, would be)

where you would do it

what you would learn in that course

and explain why you would like to do this course

ANSWER

Well, speaking of the course I’d like to do, I would say that it’s an English course Today, English is considered to be the most important language in the world That’s why it became one of the compulsory subjects and we now have to study English from elementary onwards

I’d like to get admitted to the Foreign Trade University which offers a professional course in Business English They have a good reputation for teaching this course effectively to a high standard As I have other classes in the morning, I would like to enroll in the afternoon course Also, the course fee is both cheap and convenient for

me to pay using my bank account

There are so many reasons why I’d like to enroll in an English course First of all, English is an international language, hence, having a knowledge of English can help people around the world to communicate better Second, it also gives us countless opportunities to become more acquainted with other cultures We depend on English

to keep up to date with the latest news from all over the world, since almost all the books and magazines are written in this language Finally, learning English can really help us in our careers and enhance our CVs, as these days, many firms need good office employees to conduct international business

VOCABULARY

1) compulsory: [adjective] that must be done because of a rule or law

Example: In some countries, it is compulsory to attend school until the age of 16

2) onwards: [adverb] continuing from a particular time

Example: I will be in my office from 8:00 am onwards, until I leave at 6:00 in the evening

3) reputation: [noun] the opinion that people have about someone/something is like, based on what has happened in the past

Example: The restaurant enjoys an international reputation for the best Thai cuisine

4) countless: [adjective] very many; too many to be counted or mentioned

Example: The teacher has warned him countless times to pay attention in class

5) acquainted: [adjective] familiar with something having seen, heard or read it Example: The students are already acquainted with the history of our country, having studied it at elementary level

6) keep up to date with: [expression] be informed about the latest information

Example: I watch the news on TV every day, in order to keep up to date with the political situation

7) CVs: [noun] short descriptions of your education and qualifications, which you give to an employer when you go for an interview

Example: Students should make sure that they write good CVs, to help them when they apply for a job

8) firm: [noun] company

Example: She works for a firm of lawyers in Paris

9) conduct: [verb] organize or do a particular activity

Example: The school has decided to conduct all its classes in English

BÀI CHỮA CHO ĐỀ 08/11/2014 (CHỦ

ĐỀ CRIME)

08/11/2014

Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature

Discuss both views and give your opinion

ANSWER

It is generally believed that inborn characteristics are the reasons

leading to criminal problems However, I would argue that a [1] crime is

an undeniable consequence of social issues and poverty.

There is a belief that a criminal is the result of a person's nature Firstly, a person who is cruel easily commits a crime In particular, a small child bullying other boys or girls at school is more likely to commit murder

or have take violent actions in years to come Secondly, bad

characteristics including laziness and selfishness could also build

up breed [2] future offenders It cannot be denied that a number of youngsters, instead of working to earn a living, choose to steal from other people It seems that people who are born with an inborn

negative nature are likely to be accused of [3] crimes.

Nevertheless, it seems to me that social issues and poverty are primary reasons behind a [1] crime First and foremost, problems in society could

lead to an increasing number of crimes For example, unemployment pushes an array of people to work illegally to earn their livings As a consequence, the number of offenders has climbed in recent years Furthermore, the situation of poverty is also claimed to be one of the main reasons leading to unlawful problems [4] criminal acts It is

undeniable that if their standard of living cannot allow people to meet basic needs, theywould will do pursue [5] illegal activities to make money so that they could support their family Consequently, criminal issues would become increasingly serious.

In conclusion, while a number of people think that a person's nature is the primary cause of crimes, I would argue that they are the results of social issues and poverty.

Written by An an (lớp t9/2014)

1.‘Crime’ is an important noun which has countable and uncountable uses In this sentence, you use it to refer to illegal activity in general This is an uncountable use, so delete ‘a’ You will see from the

dictionary reference that the activity is uncountable, but an act or action that is illegal is a crime = countable

See:

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/crime? q=crime

2.I have suggested a change to vocabulary here We ‘build up’ some characteristics or skills:

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/build-up_2?q=build+up However, see number 3 in this reference:

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/breed_1? q=breed

3.I think that ‘ likely to commit crimes’ expresses your idea accurately 4.You mean here: ‘ leading to criminal acts’ or ‘ leading to

lawbreaking’

See: http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/lawbr eaking?q=lawbreaking

5.This is another vocabulary suggestion The word combination ‘do activities’ is not often used in English.

Bài nhận xét và cho điểm (Mình không phải là giám khảo nên điểm

số cho chỉ mang tính chất giúp mọi người tham khảo)

Task Response:

Bài viết đã thảo luận được 2 quan điểm và đưa ra quan điểm bản thân xuyên suốt cả bài (ở phần mở bài, thân bài, kết luận) Đoạn 2 đưa ra 2 lý

do "why some people think that those who have a bad nature commit crime" Đã giải thích và đưa ví dụ minh họa cụ thể Ý "It seems that people who are born with an inborn negative nature are likely to be accused of crimes." -> hơi cực đoan, xem sửa lại ở bài viết dưới

Đoạn 3 thảo luận "unemployment and the related reason, poverty, are the main causes of crime" cũng đã đưa được giải thích cụ thể -> Band 7.5~8.0

Coherence and cohesion:

Mở bài, thân bài, kết luận liên kết với nhau rất tốt Câu topic sentence

đã kết nối được với mở bài, kết luận Ngoài ra còn nêu được ý trung tâm của mỗi đoạn văn "Firstly/Secondly/First and

foremost/Furthermore" giúp giám khảo dễ dàng thấy được các ý hỗ trợ trong từng đoạn văn Ngoài ra còn có thêm một số từ nối giúp giải thích các ý tốt hơn "In particular/As a consequence/Consequently" "It cannot

be denied and It is undeniable " -> hơi bị lặp từ -> bỏ đi hoặc thay bằng "it is clear that "-> Band 7.5~8.0

Lexical resource:

Từ vựng về chủ đề crime có thể tham khảo ở đây:

http://www.dcielts.com/ielts-vocabulary/crime-vocabulary-and-exercises/

Từ vựng đa phần dùng chính xác và phù hợp với ngữ cảnh -> band 7.5

Grammatical range and accuracy:

Bài viết đơn giản nhưng không có lỗi sai ngữ pháp Các cấu trúc sử dụng đa dạng và phù hợp ->band 8.0

Bài viết lại Đa phân nâng cấp về topic vocabulary

Many people consider that innate characteristics are responsible for the fact that some people choose to turn to a career of crime However, I

would argue that crime is a consequence of social issues and poverty.

There is a belief that a person’s nature determines whether or not they become a criminal Firstly, they argue that an individual who is cruel

turns to crime more easily than a kind person For instance, a child bullying other boys or girls at school may turn into a violent criminal in

the future Secondly, bad characteristics such as laziness or selfishness

could also breed future offenders, who seek to acquire easy

money without working for it A number of youngsters choose to steal

from others, instead of working hard to make an honest living These

are strong reasons for thinking that those who have an inborn bad

nature are more likely to break the law.

Nevertheless, it seems to me that social issues and poverty are the main causes behind crime There are many problems in society which might

lead to an increase in the crime rate For example, unemployment pushes people into resorting to crime because they simply cannot find

a job As a consequence, the number of offenders has climbed in many

countries over recent decades Another reason is that, more broadly,

poverty in general leads to a rise in crime If people do not have

enough money to make ends meet, they will be tempted to pursue

illegal activities just to support themselves and their families.

In conclusion, while a number of people think that a person's nature is the primary cause of crimes, I would argue that they are the results of social issues and poverty.

Written by Ngoc Bach

291 words

Ver 1:

The diagram illustrates how wasted bottles made from glass are recycled and

delivered back to the store

Overall, there are 3 main stages in the whole glass bottle recycling process,

beginning with collecting wasted jars and finishing with the delivery of the products for sale

In the first stage, wasted glass jars are deposited at collection points where they are loaded on trucks to transport to a glass treatment plant In the second stage, several steps are taken in order to transform wasted glass to recycled products Firstly, bottles are washed under high-pressure water to remove any impurities, following that they are classified into 3 categories based on the colour, namely clear, green and brown glass They are then transferred to glass factories in which they are crushed into debris In the next step, those pieces are melted in a glass-melting furnace at around 600 to 800 degree Celsius After that, recycled liquid glass

together with new liquid glass are moulded into new products

In the last stage, the glass is used to bottle different products, and then sent back to the supermarket ready for sale

(185 words)

Written by Thu An (C u h c sinh l p tháng 9/2014)ự ọ ớ

Ver 2:

Report Plan:

Paraphrase paragraph: describe what the diagram shows, using some different vocabulary

Summary paragraph: number of stages [3]; refer to first and last stages [bottles collected/new bottles to supermarkets/shops]

Paragraph 3: stage 1

Paragraph 4: stage 2

Paragraph 5: stage 3

The diagram illustrates the various stages in the recycling of waste glass bottles

There are three main stages shown in the diagram, beginning with the collection of the used glass bottles and ending with the delivery of products in new bottles to retail outlets such as supermarkets

In the first stage, waste bottles are deposited at collection points, where they are loaded onto trucks for delivery to a glass recycling facility

Stage 2 begins with the process of cleaning the bottles with high pressure water and they are then separated into clear, green and brown glass This is then broken into pieces in the glass factory and passed through a furnace, where they are burned at

a temperature of 600 to 800 degrees Celsius This recycled glass is now in liquid form, and it is joined with new liquid glass ready for moulding into a bottle shape

In the final stage, the new bottles are used for different products, ready for sale in supermarkets or shops

166 words

Written by Ngoc Bach