‘Therefore, it is necessary to control the quality of the translations before publication so that the readers can enjoy lic best edition, This desis is an altompl to assess Wie quality
Trang 1
'VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOL
UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATLONAL STUDIES
FACULTY OF POST - GRADUATE STUDIES
FORAGE
NGUYEN TIIU ILANG
TRANSLATION QUALITY EVALUATION OF ANKIT PANDA’S:
ARTICLE “WHY DID CILNA SET UP AN GIL RIG WITILIN VIETNAMESE WATERS? WHY NOW AND WIY VIETNAM?”
BY FOUR VARIOUS TRANSLATORS
(Đánh giá chất lượng cic ban dich bai bio “Why Did China Set Up
an Oil Rig Within Vietnamese Waters? Why now and why Vietnam?”
của Ankit Panda béi bon dich giả khác nhau)
M.A MINOR PROGRAMME TIIESIS
Field: English Linguistics
Code: 60220201
HANOI - 2016
Trang 2
'VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOL
UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATLONAL STUDIES
FACULTY OF POST - GRADUATE STUDIES
FORAGE
NGUYEN THU HANG
TRANSLATION QUALITY EVALUATION OF ANKIT PANDA’S
ARTICLE “WHY DID CHINA SET UP AN GIL RIG
WITHIN VIETNAMESE WATERS? WHY NOW AND WHY VIETNAM?”
BY FOUR VARIOUS TRANSLATORS
(anh gia chất lượng các ban dich bai bao “Why Did China Set Up
an Oil Rig Within Vietnamese Waters? Why now and why Vietnam?”
của Ankit Panda bởi bốn dịch giả khác nhau)
M.A MINOR PROGRAMME THESIS
Field: English Linguistics Code: 60220201
Supervisor: Assoc Prof Dr L@ Hing |
HANOI - 2016
Trang 4‘A special word of thanks goes to all the teachers of the Faculty of Post - Graduate Studies at University of Languages and Intemational Studies, Vietnam National University, Hanoi for their useful lectures, assistance and cnthusiasm during my couse, Without their support and encouragement, it would never have been possible for me to have this thesis accomplished
Last but not least, I am greatly indebted to my family, especially my parents,
my husband and my younger brother for the sacrifice they have devoted to the fulfillment of this academic work
Trang 5ABSTRACT
There is a fact that in the current era of information explosion, daily contents published on the Internet have neglected strict censorship in advance in terms of quantity and quality It can be seon that many English - Vietnamese translations cannot ensure enough precise information or convey emotion and intentions of the author in the souree language text approprialely Even some of them have arodified
on purpose by adding individual opinions or comments of the translators ‘Therefore,
it is necessary to control the quality of the translations before publication so that the readers can enjoy lic best edition, This desis is an altompl to assess Wie quality of four different versions of for an online Knglish article on Y'he Diplomat basing, on the schema of Translation Quality Assessment proposed by Newmark By this way, the writer has found that the translations have obtained a certain success However,
it still reveals some mismatches between the source text and the target text, especially in terms of reflecting the intention of the author accurately In addition, some other mistakes in Lorms of word choice and strucure ammangemonl which may affect the conciseness of the translations are also pointed out From the basis of the
finding some implications are made along with suggestions for further studies
ii
Trang 71.3 Summary 22 CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT
2.1 Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing ils intention and its
2.2 Step 2: The translator’s interpretation of the SL text's purpase, his
translation method and the translation’s likely readership
2.3 Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the
translation with the original
2.3.1 Word choice & expression
2.4 Step 4: An evaluation of the translation
2.4.1 An evaluation of the translation in the translator’s terms
2.4.2 An evaluation of the translation in the critic’s term
2.4.3 Assess the translation as a piece of writing, independently of its
3.5 Step 5: An assessment of the likely place of the translation in the
target language culture or discipline
Trang 8LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS
ST: Source Text
TT: Target Test
SL: Source Language
TI Target Language
V1: Version 1 (the first version)
V2: Version 2 (the second version)
V3 „ Version 3 (the third version)
V4; Version 4 (the fourth version)
TQA: Translation Quality Assessment
P; Paragraph
S: Sentence
vi
Trang 9LIST OF TABLES AND DIAGRAMS
Comparing, versions in terms of words and expression
Comparing versions in Lerms of denolalive meanings
Comparing versions in terms of separation and combination Comparing versions in terms of word arder
Comparing versions in terms of complex sentences and
Trang 10A: INTRODUCTION
1 Rationale of the study
In human history, cultural exchange commenced along with the emergence
of culture Translation, a cultural phenomenon and a means of cultural exchange,
has brought a community beyond its spatial and temporal dimensions as contended
by Kelly (2004): “Without translation, there is no history of the world.” Without
translation, our world would encompass secluded oases, which would develop
separaloly and their own histories withoul contributing to the world history Tn fact,
translation not only brings new knowledge horizons for humanity, but translation
activities can also promote exchange of civilization and culture among the people
and the nations worldwide Therefore, it can be said thal since its beginning days,
translation has played a very important role for years
Tn Vielnam, aller 1945, translation industry bas developed and had great
contribution to economic, cultural, and social development of our country As a result, the demand for translation is increasingly diversified, An enormous number
of books and documents need to be translated The mass media such as radios, televisions, newspapers are also required to transfer information from foreign
languages into Vietnamese to convey to the public The contracts, project
documents, data in need of translation in the administrative transactions, trade, and
international cooperation also surged ‘The foreign movies should have captions or subtitles in Vietnamese In addition, training sessions of professional interpreters
are also being conducted al many uriversilies in Vietnam to tram a large Leam of
people working in the translation ficld
Generally, neither translation ner interpretation im cur country has not
become a professional job Sharing the same point, Ms Tén Nit Thi Nmh, former
Deputy Chairman of Foreign Relations Committee of Vietnam’s National Assembly
said in the event "Intemational Conference on Translation and Language”
(Translalor Day) held on December 13, 2013, “Translation m Vietnam has nol
Trang 11really been developed inte a profession with high professionalism because of the
lack of formal standards, then, the discipline in this work is not high and it is
dilTicult to distinguish the level of translation.”
It is a fact that this has led to bad even serious consequences Sadly,
Vietnam has been listed one of countries with the worst quality of translated
versions Thy Phong, the aulhor of the article “Bao giờ mới hết những chữ vô hỗn”
on the viemamnet expressed his own opinions about “translation disasters”
According to him, besides rather successfully-translated masterpieces such as
“Wuthering Heights” (2d: gid Ini), “Harry Porter”, “The Centaur in the Garden”
(Con nhân mã & trong vuén), some classic works such as “Lolita” translated by
Dương Tường, “The Da Vinoi Code” (Mật mã Da Vinej by Đỗ Thụ Hà and some
other textbooks have been called “translation disasters” with dozens of mistakes These works have received a lot of negative criticism and opinions from the public
and on mass media This has become great concern for critics, translators, and Linguistics,
However, unfortunately, until now, we have had no works specialized in
theory and method of banslation between English and Vietnamese in our country, but only focusing on the study of translation practice wlule foreign countries have
many relevant works between linglish and other languages by such famous authors
as Nida, Newmark, Campbell, Baker, Bell, Hatim and Mason These projects have contributed greatly in the development of theory as well practice of the translation and promoted the quality of translated versions more efficiently and professionally
Translation is indeed a challenging job In order to produce a high-quality
translation, translators are required to have both talem and flexibility in every circumstance In addition, they alse have to hone their skills regularly, their love for
translation, as well as abundant knowledge of culture, society, human beings and
even equivalent languages Sometimes, because of lacking certain understanding or translators’ carelessness, translated versions may not be concise and clear enough ven more seriously, (hey can transfer messages which writers or authors want lo
Trang 12try to convey to readers in a wrong way Such errors will haye bad cffect on the public for long time, especially the information on the mass media such televisions and newspapers Therefore, the usage of vocabulary on the mass media ins generat and translation in particular requires both high quality and professionalism
An M.A theses review at universities in Viemam shows that many
assessment works related (o literature, and some specialized terms, including law,
economy, health care, and culture have been conducted hese are preliminary studies on applying a new theory of translation evaluation and criticism into the
assessment of translated versions from English into Vielnamese with remarkable
results in terms of theory and practice Llowever, the number of political versions is still limited, especially sensitive political issues
Since information technology developed fast, the right of frec press has
been promoted Correspondents, journalists, writers have had a big playground on
the Imemet, especially online newspaper pages or websites Every day, they can
easily provide the latest information for readers without considering contents or
vocabularies strictly before publishing them, In addition, some bad elements also
took advantage of the Internet te distort and communicate false mformation to the readers, This can be reflected clearly through contents in tabloid newpapers
Remarkably, so far, many stories, talks, interviews and articles have kept discussing
a hol topic - oil ng HYSY-981 on the mass media, especially on some famous
newspapers and magazines Among them, “The Diplomat”, a premier international current-affairs magazine for the Asia-Pacific region is known by many scholars and
readers Since 2002, “The Diplomat” has been dedicated to quality analysis and
commentary on events occurring in Asia and around the world So, news on this press is very abundant and comprehensive Many Vietnamese translators have used
this uselul source (o explore formation and Ly to transfer equivalent meanings of
articles Llowever, it is regretful that many of them are incorrect and incomplete
versions with grammar and vocabulary mistakes, even with wrong messages ta the
Trang 13readers This made meaningful articles become ditficult for cveryone tơ understand
and in one way have negative impacts on the readers as well
From [he above-mentioned reasons, the author decided to find out # Lypieal
article with various translated versions, and then finally chose the topic
“Translation quality evaluation of Ankit Panda's article “Why Did China Set Up an Oil Rig Within Viemamese Waters? Why now and why Vietnam?” by four various
translators” for her thesis
2 Aims of the study
Tn this research, an allempt will be made to review the qualily of English-
Vietnamese versions in terms of conveying the intention of the author, and then
recommend some criteria for better translation of political articles
3 Scope of the study
The chosen English article “Why Did China Set Up an Oil Rig Within
Vietnamese Waters? Why now and why Vietnam?” by Ankit Panda on “The
Diplomat” consists of nine paragraphs 1m total
In the limitation of a thesis, the author only selects some representative
examples to analyze the intention of the anthor expressed in the onginal in translations with a clear study framework - Newmark’s TQA model
Vour respective translated versions are also selected including:
¥ 1" version: “Vi sao Trung Quốc thiết lập giàn khoan trong vùng biển Vit
Nam? Vi sao la hic này và vì sao Việt Nom?” by Dam Ha Khánh on
http:/nghiencuulichsu.com;
v 24 version: “Tai sao Trung Quéc dua giàn khoan vào vùng biến Việt Nam?
Tai sao lại vào lúc này, và tại sao lại là liệt Nam?” by Vũ Lhị Phương Anh on
titp:/tasang cam.vn,
v 3'Íveniom: “Tại sao Trung Quốc đặt giàn khoan vào vùng biển Việt Nam? Tại sao lại vào thời điểm này và tại sao lai la Vidt Nam?” by C.K on
hfp//inmoi.vn,
Trang 14vs 4 yœsion: “gi sao Trung Quốc lại triển khai giàn khoan trong vùng biễn Việt Nam? Tại sao diễn ra vào thời điểm này và tại sao mục tiêu lại là Việt
Nam?” by Văn Cường ơn hltp/nphieneuubiendong vn
These sources are available on the Internet and main websites to share
information as well as propaganda on islands and waters of Vietnam
4 Significance of the study
- Theoretical aspect: ‘his research helps readers have a general overview of translation theory meanwhile they can know how to apply TQA model by Newmark
in evaluating translated versions
- Practical aspect: Factually, this study is somehow useful for translators and translation critics in translating materials from English into Vietnamese in general,
whereas iL also gives some lips for them to handle problems arising during
translation process, especially issues related to sensitive political contents
Moreover, it is also hoped that the results of this study will contribute to assessing
the translation of press works based on a specific model
5 Researeh methodology
4.1 Research questions
In the research, the author focuses on 2 following research questions:
= Question 1: ‘lo what extent do the translations convey the intention of the author?
= Question 2 Whal are the recommendations for the translalion of political
articles?
5.2 Research approach
During evaluation process, Contrastive Analysis approach will be applied to
compare and assess translated versions against the original one
3.3 Research method
Firsily, the original text will be read thoroughly and comprehensively based
on Newmark’s reading procedures After that, the source text will be compared to
its respective translations
Trang 155.4 Data analysis
‘The author evaluates the Vietnamese translated versions based on the 5-step
model of Pelor Newmark
> Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its
functional aspects
> Step 2: The wanslator’s mnerpretation of the ST text’s purpose, his
translation method and the translation’s likely readership
} Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the
translation with the origival
} Step 4: An evaluation of the translation: (a) in the wanslator’s terms, (b) in the critic’s terms, (c) assess the translation as a piece of writing,
independently of ils original
} Step 5: Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the
translation in the target language culture or discipline
6 Design of the thesis
Ihe thesis is divided into 3 main parts
~ Part A: Introduction (This part provides readers an overview of the thesis including the ratienale for the study, the aims, the scope, the
methodology, and the organization of the study)
¥ Part B: Development (This part consists of 2 chapters) Chapter 1: Literature review
This part discusses the theoretical background knowledge related to
translation including definition, translation methods, translation procedures, translation equivalence, translation assessment, and contastive analysis ‘/hen the
author reviews previous related studies, explains clearly the reason why she has
decided to cheose TQA of Peler Newmark and coutrastive anal: approach 1o
assess versions
Chapter 2: Application of Newmark's model for T'QA
Trang 16This is the main part of the study In this chapter, the author applies comparison and analysis between original texts and translation versions, and discusses aboul five-slep TQA model by Newarark mentioned above Lo assess Vietnamese versions
Y Part LU: Conclusion This part will summarive the main ideas and findings of the study Then,
some conclusion will be drawn.
Trang 17PART B: DEVELOPMENT CIIAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW
1.1 Translation theory
1.1.1 Translation definition
“Since human beings speak different tongues, translation exists." (Sieiner, 1975: 51) The activity of translation has a long-standing tradition and has been
widely developed throughout the history In our rapidly changing world with
widening cultural exchanges, its role has become of paramount importanec Undoubtedly, the twentieth cemury has been called “the age of translation”
(Jumpelt, 1961)
However, it is not easy to find out a general definition of the translation Until now, about 200 various concepts can be mentioned ‘hey are different angles,
from the general to the more specialized Tn the Imit of this thesis, (he author only
mentions some key opinions to help readers have some general overview about the
real nature of translation and related knowledge
Originally, translation comes from “translation” or “traduce” in Latin,
meaning “to carry across” or “to fead across” ‘Translation is like the bridge to give instruotions and connect In fact, it is a process of transformation of terms and
meanings from one language into another language, from the original language, the
source language to the target language So, it can be understood that translation is
encryption of meaning and form of the target language through deciphering the
meaning and form of the source language
As Hatim and Munday (2004) pointed out 1 a similar definition, translation
can be analyzed from two different perspectives: that of a ‘process’, which refers to
the activily of turning a ST inlo a TT in another language, and that of a ‘product’,
Le a translated text
Calford described it in these terms: “Translation is the replacement of
textual material in one language (SL) by equivalent textual material in other
Trang 18language (TL).” (Catford, 1965:20) Apparently, he was much concemed about maintaining a kind of “equivalence” between the ST and the I'l
Sharing the same point, Harman & Stock (1972) considered translation to be the replacement of a representation of a text in one language by a representation of another equivalent in a second language
One of the rather detailed definitions with the mosL remarkableriess was
proposed by Peter Newmark (1988: 7) Ln his opinion, translation is “a craff” that
attempts to replace a message in a written form by the “same” message in another
message
Shuttleworth and Cowie (1997) see that translation 1s a very broad notion
which opens the way to be understoad in various ways This broad notion enables
one lo talk about translation as process and a product Tn addilion, one cant recognize
sub-types of translations such as literary translation, technical translation, subtitling
and machine translation
Clearly, no maller how diverse these definitions can be, they alt share the same feature which emphasizes the importance of finding the closet equivalence in
meaning by the choice of appropnate target language’s lexical and grammatical
structures, communication situation, and cultural context,
1.1.2 Translation methods & procedures
According to 1 Hing Tiến (2006), lo be successful in evaluating the
translation quality, the critic must have the knowledge of basic matters of translation theory such as the nature, procedures, methods and equivalence of
translation In arder to translate a text from a SL into a TL, the translator must use some certain methods and procedures, sometimes a combination of them While translation methods relate to the whole text, translation procedures are used for
sentences and the smaller units of language
1.1.2.1 Translation methods
The eight different translation methods suggested by Newmark can be shown through the following diagram
Trang 19SL cmph: ‘TL emphasis
Literal translation Free translation
Faithful translation Idiomatic translation
N
Semantic translation Communicative translation
Diagram 1: Translation methods
(Newmark, 1988: 45)
From the diagram, i1is clear thal the relationship of each method with the ST
and the I'L is different ‘fhe position of each method (higher to lower in comparison
with the SL or the TL) reflects not only the distance with the SL and the TL but also the features of the translation product created by a respective method: whether it is
more alike to the SL or the I'L (Lé Hung ‘Ti
(006) Kor example, word-for-word translation method creates the product characterizing the most features of the SL
and adaplation give birth to a banslation version which is the most alike 1o the TT
liach method can be explained briefly, as follows:
= Word-for-word translation: The SL word-order is preserved and words
translated smgly by their most common moaning, oul of context
= Literal translation: The SL grammatical constructions are converted to their
nearest TL equivalents but the lexical words are translated singly, out of context
" Faithful translation: Tt aliempts to reproduce the precise contextual meaning of the original within the constraints of the ‘I'L grammatical structures
= Semantic translation: Tl takes more account of the aesthetic value of the ST
text than faithful translation, compromising on ‘meaning’ where appropriate so
10
Trang 20that assonance, word-lay or repetition jars m the finished version Therefore, it is more flexible, allows for the translator's intuitive empathy with the original
* Adaptation: The themes, characters, plots are preserved, and the ST culture
is converted to the TL culture and the text is rewritten
= Free translation: It is usually a paraphrase much longer than the original, a
so-called ‘Tntrakingual translation’, offen prolix and prelontious, and not
translation at all
= Idiomatic translation: It reproduces the ‘message’ of the original but tends
lo distort nuances of meaning by preferring colloquialisms and idioms where
these do not exist in the original
= Communicative translation: It attempts to render the exact contextual
meaning of the original im such a way thal both conloril and language are readily
acceptable and comprehensible to the readership
(Newmark, 1988: 43)
Among these methods, Newmark pul emphasis on only two methods,
semantic and communicative translation In his opinion, they are appropriate to any text Semantic translation focuses on primanly upon the semantic coment of the source text, wliercas communicative translation focuses ¢ssentially upon the
comprehension and response of the receptors
Some translation researchers and theorists say thal, how Newmark classifies translation methods is too complicated and theoretical and not practical However, others support Newmark’s own translation methods In fact, application of
translation methods is required to be flexible Translators can apply Newmark’s
translation methods and others creatively during translation process of texts in general and terms in particular effectively
1.1.2.2 Translation procedures
1n terms of translation procedures, there still exist some controversial about
what name to call this category Some authors use the term “procedure” while some
olhers prefer (he term “lechniques” or “strategies” Whalever it 1s called, we can
I
Trang 21understand them as methods applied by translators when they formulate equivalenee for the purpose of transferring elements of meaning from SI to the I'l
Tn [his thesis, the author would like to usc the torm “procedure” suggested by
Newmark in 1988 In fact, different authors have different classifications of translation procedures [lowever, in fact, the terms used in their classifications
somelimes overlap Therefore, here the writer just wants to mention 14 Iranslation
procedures proposed by Newmark in his book “1 textbook of translation” (1995) They include:
= Transference: Tl is the process of transferring a ST word to a TI text It includes transliteration and it 1s somewhere called "transcription."
= Naturalization: It adapts the SL ward first to the normal pronunciation, then
to the uonmal morphology of the TT
= Cultural equivalent: It means replacing a cultural word in the SL with a TL
one however, "they are not accurate"
* Functional equivalent: Tt requires the use of a culturo-neutral word
= Descriptive equivalent: In this procedure the meaning of the SLT is
explained in several words
= Componential analysis: It means "comparing an SL word with a TL word
which has a similar meaning but is not an obvious one-to-one equivalent, by
demonstrating first heir common and then their differing sense components.”
= Synonymy: It is a "near I'L equivalent." Here economy trumps accuracy
= Through-translation: It is the literal translation of common collocations,
names of organizations and components of compounds It can also be called
calque or Joan translation
= Shifts or transpositions: It involves a change in the grammar from SL to
TT., for instance, (i) change from singular to plural, Gi) the change required
when a specific SL structure does not exist in the IL, (iii) change of an SL verb toa TL word, change of an SL noun group to a TL noun and so forth
12
Trang 22* Modulation: It occurs when the translator reproduces the message of the
original text in the ‘I'L text in conformity with the current norms of the TL, since
the ST and the TI may appoar dissimilar in terms ol perspective
= Recognized translation: It occuws when the translator "normally uses the
official or the generally accepted translation of any institutional term."
= Campensation: Tl occurs whon loss of meaning in one parl of a sentence is compensated in another part
= Paraphrase: In this procedure the meaning of the CBT is explained Ilere
the explanation is much more delailed than that of descriptive equivalent
= Couplets: lt occurs when the translator combines two different procedures
(Newmark, 1995)
Tn general, the translation procedures are useful to the translator As can be seen, in this olassification, each procedure is distinguished quite clearly from each
other However, in the real situation of translating a text, the translator may apply
them flexibly by combining two, three or four procedures (conplets, triplets, quachuplets) to deal with a single problem
1.1.3 Translation equivalence
LLL, Definition
Translation equivalence is the fundamental concept of translation theory and also the main criterion in assessing the qualily of a translation A Wanslalion is generally said to be ‘good’ if it can maintain a certain degree of equivalence to the
ST Nevertheless, the concept remains controversial and opinions vary radically as
to its exact meaning
Basically, ‘equivalence’ is a term used by many writers to desoribe the nature
and the extent of the relationships which exist between SL and TL texts
(Shutuleworth & Cowie, 1997: 49)
Trang 23readership of the original” ” He also secs the equivalence cffect as the desirable result rather than the aim of any translation except for two cases: (a) If the purpose
of the STL text is to allect and the TT translation is to mlorm or vice versa, (b) TT
there is a pronounced cultural gap between the SL and the TL text
Baker has another way to define this term by pointing out three levels of
translation cquivalence basing on the linguisLic forms, thal is, equivalence at word
level, sentence level and text level ‘'o be more concrete, she explores the notion of non-equivalence at different levels and in relation to the translation process, including ston-equivalence al word level, non-equivalence above word level, grammatical equivalence, textual equivalence and pragmatic equivalence,
‘As can be seen, translation equivalence is still a complex and controversial
comoupt, In order to have bellor understanding of this term, if is ne
ary Lo have a look at how translation equivalence is classified into different types
1.1.3.2 Types of translation equivalence
Similar 1 the case of the nohon of “gunslalion equivalence”, until now, there are various ways to classify translation equivalence based on different factors
Tn “Fy thuyét và thực tiễn dịch thuật Anh-Viét: MGt sd vấn đề vẻ lý luận và phương
pháp cơ bản”, four conuaon ways of classifying translation equivalence can be identified, as follows:
* Form-based equivalence: equivalence al word, sentence, or text level
" Meaning-based equivalence: denotative, connotative, pragmatic, formal equivalence
= Function-based equivalence: dynamic equivalence, formal equivalence
= Quantitative equivalence: one-to-one equivalence, one-to-many equivalence,
one-to-part-of-one equivalence, nil equivalence
Basing on a quanlilalive approach (quantily-based), Munday (2001) suggesls
five types of translation equivalence: One-to-one equivalence, one-to-many
equivalence, many-to-one equivalence, one-to-part-of-one equivalence, nil
14
Trang 24equivalenoe From this categorization, it is noticeable that Munday mamly focused
on the quantity of equivalence rather than meaning equivalence
Baker (1992) who is im favor of Corm-based equivalence classifies Irmslation equivalence into equivalence at the word level (number, gender, tense} and above word level and textual equivalence (equivalence between a SL text and a TL text in lerms of information and cohesion)
On the contrary, Nida (1964), who supports function-based equivalence, distinguishes formal equivalence and dynamic translation as basic orientations According to him, formal equivalence is achieved when the ST and TL werds have the closest possible match of form and content and dynamic equivalence is achieved when the SL and TL words have the same effect on their effective readers In his opinion, a ienslalion is successful if it can achieve an cquivalent response in the two languages, which means dynamic equivalence is the goal of translation To be
‘good’, a translation must meet these four basic requirements:
V mnaking sơnse
Y conveying the spirit and manner of the original
¥ having a natural and easy form of expression
v producing a similar response
© Lach author has his own reasons for classifying different types of translation cquivalenve However, with respect to three basic [avtors in translating: the nature of the message, the purpose of the author and the translator and the type of audience, the kind of equivalence by Koller (1979) can
be considered a satisfactory approach He classified equivalence in translation
into five categories as follows
= Denotative equivalence: the SL and the TL words refer to the same thing in
the real world
= Connotative equivalence: In addition to denotative value, source and target
language words should also produce the same communicative values in the mind of native speakers of the Lwo languages
15
Trang 25= Text-normative equivalence: The SL and the TL words are used in the
same or similar context in their respective languages
© Pragmatic equivalence: Wilh readership orientation, the SI and TI words
have the same effect on their respective readers
= Formal equivalence: In this type of equivalence, source and target language
have the same formal aesthetic features, orlhograpbic or phonological fealures
For Newmark, despite sharing similar ideas of translation equivalence with
Nida, he uses ‘semantic translation’ and ‘communicative translation’ for “formal equivalence’ and ‘dynamme equivalence’ respectively Communicative translation
aims at producing “the same effect (or one as close as possible) on the readership of the translation as was obtained on the readership of the original”, Semantic
translation, on the other hand, allempls to render the exael contextual meaning of
the original
In brief, this classification can be used as basic criteria to assess the
equivalence of the translated version in comparison with the original As mentioned
above, translation equivalence is a very important and difficult aspect ‘Iranslation
means Lo find equivalence between lwo languages The translator has to find and choose appropriate TL equivalents to SL words
1.1.4 Translation assessment
LIAL, Definition
In fact, this term has many other alternative names such as “!ranslation
quality assessment” as in the study of Malcolm Williams (2009), or “Translation criticism” in the book “A texthook of translation” by Newmark (1995) or
“Translation evaluation” by Julianne House
According to [latim and Mason, “The assessment of iranslator performance
is an achivily which, despite heing widespread, is under-researched and under
discussed” (llatim and Mason 1997:199, cited in Williams, 2001) From this
definition, it can be seen that Hatim and Mason have not given a conerete definition
of “tanslalion assessment” bul mamly emphasize the fact of ass
sing translation
16
Trang 26text at that time and the necessity of paying mere attention to assess the translation
text seriously and more critically
Newmark (1995) also gives his own definition However, similar to Hatim and Mason, his focus is not really on what tanslation assessment actually is but
rather on the importance of translation evaluation as followed: "Translation
crilicivm is an essential link between translation theory and ix practice."
(Newmark, 1995: 184)
Among famous researchers, Malcolm William’s definition can be said to be much clearer He defines the tenn “Translation Qualily Assessment” (TQA) in several aspects Just like evaluation in the broad sense, I'QA can
be quantitative or qualitative it can be based on mathematical/statistical measurement (as im the casc of most academic insinuments) or on readers’ responses, interviews and questionnaires (e.g Nida) TQA can
be diagnostic (determining areas for improvement at the beginning of a course of
study), formative (measuring progress and giving [eedback during a course of
study) or summative (measuring the results of learning) It can be seen that in
Williams’s view, TQA canmol and should nol be valuss-free: 10 be useful, if must be based on criteria of goodness, Otherwise, all we do is describe detects and strong
points in translations: “Whether our focus is on products, performance or
competence, we are essentially frying (o determine degrees of goodness when we
perform 1QA The approach can be prescriptive, assessing translation against
criteria of aesthetic effect, usability, and intrinsic compliance with standards of terget language correctness and fidelity.”
1.1.42 Translation Quality Assessment Models
There are different Translation Quality Assessment (TQA) models Hach of
them introduces new ideas and ways to
ess (he qualily of a translated work
The concept “Models of 1QA” is not new because it has been initiated by
many authors such as Wilss, Kaller or Reiss However, according to Lé Hing Tiến
(2006), tie models suggested by Koller, Wilss and Reiss, in spite of being very
Trang 27potontial, lack conoretc stcps to be applied in reality In fact, Peter Newmark and
Julianne Llouse are two outstanding researchers who create their own models to
repair these shortcomings of the previous authors Therefore, we will have deeper insight into their models
= Julian House and her model
Julian House is a Gorman linguist She fist proposed her model for
translation quality assessment in 1977 in “A Model for Translation Quality
Assessment” The original madel attracted many criticisms which are said to have
been tackled in her revised model in 1997 — “Translation Quality Assessment: 4
Model Revisited”
As written in House's report an Meta (2001: 247), the assessment model is
“based on Hallidayan systemic-functional theory, but also draws eclectically on Prague school ideas, speech act theory, pragmatics, discourse analysts and corpus-
based distinctions between spoken and written language” After being revised,
House’s model still aims al providing for “the analysis and comparison of an original and its translation on three different levels: the levels of Language/lext,
Register (Field, Mode and Tenor}, and Genre” (House, 2001: 247), or for the discovery of ‘mismatches’ between the TT and the ST om the same tiree levels She
also gives a clearer scheme for analyzing and comparing original and translated lexis, as follows
18
Trang 28Individual textual function
Meld Tenor Mode
Subject Participant relationship + medium
matter and (simple/complex)
‘al acti + aulhor’s provenance and
(simple/complex) + social role relationship
Diagram 2; A Scheme for Analyzing and Comparing
Original and Translation Texts
According to Lé Ling
én (2006), Llouse’s model has a clear linguistically theoretical base and concrete, delailed sleps However, this model also requires linguistic knowledge and high occupational skills of the critics and the criticism mainly aims at researching languages and translation Therefore, this model has not
19
Trang 29been applied widely and just at experimental level in translation studies In addition, Llouse’s model seems to be a promising one to assess literary translation
Therefore, we will have a look al another model of TQA by Peter Newmark
= Peter Newmark und his model
In 1998, in “A textbook of translation”, Newmark gives his own model of
TQA called “comprehensive crilicism ol'a translation” including five obvious steps
> Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects
> Step 2: The translator’s mlerpretation of the ST text’s purpose, his
translation method and the translation’s likely readership
} Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the
translation with the original
® Step 4: An evaluation of the translation: (a) in the translator's terms, (b) in the critic’s terms, (c) assess the translation as a piece of writing,
independent of us original
} Step 5: Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the
translation in the targel language culture or discipline
These steps are initiated from the practical experiences of the translators It
can be seen that they are specific and easy to follow, especially Step 1 and Step 2
wilh maint focus on analyzing the ST text This is the first slage of Iranslation and
the basis of the useful discipline of translation criticism ‘Chrough these steps, the
translators will understand what the article is about and determine the intention of the SL text
Moreover, press translation requires high accuracy in terms of information and ideas The translated articles must provide enough information, respect the truth
and convey the message of the author to the readers accurately Hence, iL is necessary to evaluate the translation based on a conerete model in order to make the
assessment fairer and more objective
20
Trang 30For such reasons, the writer decides to apply Newmark’s medel in quality
assessment of the translated versions in this thesis
1.1.5 Contrastive Analysis
It can be said that it is necessary to find out similarities and differences
between the source and target texts in the evaluation of the quality of a translation
version Therefore, il is also essential lo understamd contrastive analysis According
to Carl James, “Cit is a linguistic enterprise aimed at producing inverted (ie
contrastive, not comparative) nvo-valued typologies (a CA is always concerned with
a pair of languages), and founded on the assumption that languages can be
compared” (James, 1980; 3), In short, contrastive analysis is the systematic study of
a pair of languages to identify their similarities and differences It is also rather
useful in studying problems in translation and language lypes
1,2 Previous studies
Until now, in Vietnam, several MA theses have discussed on translation
asseasmenl and equivalence Among them, some typical works can be listed, as
follows:
¥ A Sindy on the Stylistic Fquivalence between “The Qld Man and the Sea” by Hemingway and Its Translated Versions in Vietnamese by Van Thi Thanh Binh (2000);
¥ A Study on the Translation of Idiomatic Expressions in some TV Dramas by
'Tôn Thiện Quynh Irâm (2001);
¥ A Study on Textual Equivalence between some Australian Short Stories and
their Viewamese Translations by Nguyén Thị Tuyết Hồng (2006)
¥ Application old House’s Model for tanslation Quality Assessment in Assessing the English Version of The Vietnam Law on Investment by Luong
Té Lan (2007),
~ A Study on the Liquivalence Between Linglish and Vietnamese in LS Llealth
Insurance Plans by Vũ Thi Thanh Yén (2007),
21
Trang 31*ˆ Evaluating the translation of the Guidebook “Du lich Ha Long” Based on J
Llouse’s Approach by Nguyen Thủy Yên (2007);
vA Translation Quality Assessment of the Vietnamese Version of Part 7
“Nightmare” in the Novel “Twilight” Using J Hơuse's model by Lê Mỹ Hạnh (2010);
¥ An evaluation of the Vietnamese translated version ol’ “The call of the wild”
by Nguyễn Cung Ái and Vũ Tuần Phương by Nguyễn Thị Thu Hién (2012),
¥ A translation quality assessment of the Vietnamese version of the book
“Hany Porter and the philosopher’s stone” in the series Harry Porter using
Newmark’s model by Lloang ‘Thi [ling Nga (2014)
These are initial studies on application of new theories in assessment and
orilicism of translation as well as quality evaluation of Fryglish - Vicinamese works
with remarkably successful results in terms of theory and practice They are diverse
in both styles and contents based on different models by House and Newmark
However, il is a fact thal translation works related to polilic issues are not
popular, In addition, theses on TQA models tend to primarily concentrate on literary
field, regardless of non-literary one Hence, in the scope of the minor M.A thesis,
the researcher intends to focus on analyzing the wntention ef the author expressed in
the original Then, some criteria to translate political articles can be withdrawn
Clearly, translation studies in gencral as well vs translation evaluation and
criticism in particular are being paid more attention Heng, it is also required to
have more systematic and serious researches in various areas
1.3 Summary
Jn conclusion, wanslation is an activity that is growing phenomenally in today’s globalized world The study of translation has developed enormously in the
past years, In Chapter TT of this thesis, hy reviewing general background knowledge
of translation and related content, the author wants to help the readers to have some
understanding about the nature of translation as well as main concepts
22
Trang 32ARer imtrodueing some diferent TẠA models and mentioning basic features
of Llouse’s and Newmark’s models, the author comes to a conclusion that she chooses Newmark’s model to apply in her thesis, On one hand, this model 1s a combination of different authors, from Savory, Nida, Wills, Koller, Reiss to House Tow Newmark carries out is similar to the way which a translator often does during
a translation process On the other hand, House's model sceins to be more suitable for assessing literary works
23
Trang 33CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEW MARK’S MODEL
FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT
1n this chapter, the data collected from the Hnglish article (the SL text) and four corresponding Vietnamese translations (the TI texts) will be analyzed
practically based on the five-slep Newmark’s TQA model whoch the author suggested in the previous chapter to assess the quality of the ‘I'L texts ‘hen, the
intention of the author expressed in the original will be made clearer This study is
mainly a library research, combined with contrastive comparison in terms of the
quality
2.1 Step 1: A brief analysis of the ST text stressing ils intention and its
functional aspects
In early May, 2014, China set up a drilling rig named Haiyang Shiyou-981,
owned by the China Nauional Olfshore Oil Corporauon (CNOOC) in dispuled waters near the Paracel Islands in the South China Sea to start oil exploration According to the plan armounced by the Hainan Maritime Safety Administration of Chuna, this drilling work would last from May 2 to August 15, 2014
Soon after this act, Vietnam resolutely protested the move as an infringement
of its sovercignly be
use this rig was loaled on ils continental shell Tn a statement by Vietnam’s Foreign Ministry, an official said, “All foreign activities in Vietnam's seas without Viemam's permission are illegal and invalid.” Locally, Vivinam actively propagated and explained ils stance as well as updated on the latest issues so that international counties and friends could understand aggression and unruly of China in the exclusive economic zone of Vietnam In addition, communities in the world also objected fiercely against the bchaviow of China on the South China Sea, A number of nations like the US, Japan, the Philippines, Indonesia, and India condemned the action regardless of international law, causing instability and inercased tensions in the Beijimg arca Thousands of articles called
China’s behaviow “unacceptable”
24
Trang 34Among them, The Diplomat, with many talented pen names, had many articles related to this issue ‘This is a premier international current-affairs magazine
for the Asia-Pacilie region, launched in 2002 to dedicate to quality analysts and
commentary on events occurring in Asia and around the world It reaches an influential audience of commentators, policymakers, and academics with its in-
depth (reatment of regional issues
Ankit Panda is an Associate ditor of The Diplomat with expertise in international relations, political economy, intemational security, and crisis
diplomacy His analysis and reports have been widely cited and reprinted by many
famous joumals, including the Wall Street Journal, the sinancial Times, the Washmgion Post Reuters blogs, Foreign Policy, Newsweek His articles have
becn translated into various Tanguages such us Chinese, Japanese, Korean,
Vietnamese, Urdu, Thai, and Russian
On this occasion, he also wrote an article on The Diplomat - “Why did China
sel up an oil rig within Viemamese waters? Why now and why Vietnam?” His work
combined ideas raised by famous professors such as Carl Thayer and M Taylor
Fravel His purpose aimed al showing a general statement aboul this issue based on actual actions and explaining reasons why China set up an oil ng within Victnamese
waters Lle did not tend to give biased opinions for parties The article was written
wilh neutrally political genre of newspaper articles Tis readers can be
commentators, researchers, policymakers, and almost academics all over the world who are interested in issues in the Asia-Pacific region generally and relationship
between China and Vietnam particularly
2.2 Slep 2: The translator's interpretation af the SL text’s purpase, his
likely readership
translation method and the translation
Nonmally, the first aim of news is lo report factual events Tls phrases show
that the writer is concealing his propaganda purpose behind words and sentences
Hence, the translator has to be faithful to the author and not to his own view of pom so thal the banstation has the same emotional and persuasive charges, and
25
Trang 35affects the readers in the same way as the original In fact, translation of press articles requires skills of a translator as well as a journalistic talent ‘The translators
of the journalistic texts must deal with muluple choices of iranslalion strategies Besides, the news is not very complicated because it was written for readers of different backgrounds As a result, fee translation is often used as a translation method for this type
The above mentioned article was written by Ankit Panda and was translated into many different languages In terms of Vietnamese, it has been studied and explored by many websites on the Internet, especially popular pages categorized in the South China Sea which are being taken care of by many readers from the young
to the old in many areas and regions inside and outside the country
The English arlicle “Why did China set up an oil rig within Vietnamese
seas? Why now and why Viemam?” consists of one headline and nine paragraphs
Comparing the translated versions with the original, it is easy ta recognize that most
of the writer’s ideas are transferred into the second language comprehensively and
successfully The language used in the translated versions complies with the
original one closely The translalors tried to keep mam coments of the ST text to convey the message of the author te the readers accurately and smoothly
Llowever, in some translations, the translators have misinterpreted the author
by adding or culling cerlain seclions of the ST intentionally Tt can be inferred thal
in some situations, sentences and ideas of the SIT can become understandable
through such addition or omission These details are not so important that the
readers can still understand the whole message On the contrary, in some cases,
addition or omission will transfer non-equivalent contents, even wrong information
to the readers
26
Trang 362.3 Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original
Tn this sigp, ina scope of this thesis, only some lypical examples are chosen for contrastive comparison between the SL text and four different ‘IL texts based on two classified specific criteria, More details can be seen in Appendix C
2.3.1 Ward choice & expression
It was found that proper names were used in every type of news because they were generally known by most people In other words, these names were significant ingredients of news
In terms of proper names, it can be seen that almost of the proper names in the origin were translated similarly in English versions, for example, HD-981 oil rig
- gian khoan (đầu) IID-981; PLAN - tau hải quan; the Communist Party of Vietnam - Đảng Cộng sản Việt Nam; tha Communist Tarty of Chỉna - Đảng Cổng
sân Trung Quốc; the South China Sca - Bién Déng; the Paracel Islands - qudin dao
Hoang Sa; the exclusive economic zone (ELZ) - ving dae quvén kinh 18
However, in some cases, Ihe banslators used different interpretations for the
same name such as CNOOC - Công íy dấu khí viễn dương quốc gia Trung Quốc In
V1, Céng ty China National Offshore Oil Company in V2, Tang Cong ty Hải
Dương Trung Quốc im V3, and Céng ty Dau khi Xa be Quie gia Trung Quée m V4
or ASEAN Heads of Government/State - lanh dgo ASEAN in V1, nhing người đứng đâu Chính phủ/Nhà nước của các nước ASEAN in V2, BS trwéng các Chính phit ASEAN in V3, and cde nguyén thi qude gia ASEAN in V4
In addition, the translator's choice of words is another section that needs to
be compared between the ST and the TT There is a fact that in many cases, the choice of words and expression can make a deep impression on the readers, whereas
in other cases, the readers find it not easy to understand
In order to convey exact messages from the ST to the readers, the wanslators tried to choose appropriate words and expression lo show ideas in the original
Trang 37Table 1 demonstrates several typical cxamples of such translation Although
the words were translated in different ways, they still show a fact and an act Other similar illustralions can be referred in Appendix C
4 |Chinese coast tàubãovệ tau bio vé Tau tàu hải cảnh
ships/vessels ‘Trung, ‘Trung Quéc
Quêo
6 | respond with déptra dap A bang | dip lai bing kiểm chế
rhetoric and bằnglời — lờinóivà các phương | trong phén
restraint - not néivagitt bằng sự kiểm | pháp ngoại ứng và lời
Trang 38Furthermore, in many situations, the words and phrases in the ST are far different with the TT in terms of denotative meaning, ‘They can be illustrated in the
followinys evidences:
1 | rl Jol ng lay ñwc|V4 thực hiện hành dộng “cướp bóc” ngay
Vietnamese waters trong vùng biển của Việt Nam
2 | 1-3 | China’s imteral |VI những quyết định nội bộ của Trưng
‘Trung Quéc
3 | T-1 | As Carl Thayer points | V3 ‘Tac gid din y kiến của các chuyên gia
out on this blog and M trên New York Times Tayler Fravel said im øn | V4 đã viết trên blog của mình interview with The New
York Times
4 | Iir4 | suddenly risk a relatively [V2 đột ngột đánh đổi một mỗi quan hệ
slable bilateral song phương tương dối én dinh relationship V3 đột nhiên phá tan mối quan hệ song
phương binh én
Wa bat nga gay bat ổn quan hệ song
phương,
5 | H4 | an uaderlying rvalry V4 hành động mang tỉnh dối dầu
6 | V-1 vessels |only Chinese coast guard | V1 tiu bảo vệ bờ biên Trung Quốc chi rammed
Vietnamese ships and hil them with water cannons
đâm vảo tàu Việt Nam va bin ho bing
với rằng
V2 Tring Quoc chi cho tau bao ve bir
biển dam vao tau Viét Nam va tân
công bing vai réng
29
Trang 39không chỉ các tàu hành cảnh Trùng
Quốc dâm và tân công bing voi réng
vao cac tau Việt Nam
7 | V-l [PLAN remained in a | V2 quần đội chỉ giữ chúc năng hỗ trợ
support function V3 các tàu quân sự của Trung Quốc còn
sẵn sảng yêm trợ
8 |VII |Whereas vith the|V3 Trái ngược với Phipphies Hàn Quốc
Philippines, South và Nhật Bản, Mỹ bị ràng buộc bởi các
Korea, and Japan, the hiệp ước quốc tế để can thiệp vào các United States is treaty- trường hợp tranh chấp khác ở biển
bound to take action, in Dông
the case of other disputes
in the South China Sea
9 | VIL-4 | the “internationalization” | V1 “quốc tế hỏa” các tranh chấp trong
of disputes that China khi cho rằng môi nguy từ hành động,
dreads has nol ycl come gủa Trung Quốc vẫn chưa quá giới
to pass han
10 | IX-1 | the Bast China Sea V3 bién Déng
11 | TX-3 | what ultimately sets this | V1 rét cuéc diéu khác biệt đuy nhất trong episode apart from any
other
khủng hoâng lần này
* Arranging the structure of the article and paragraphs
It can be found that one difference between the original and the translated versions is about the format Commonly, the translators can transfer messages and ideas of the writer while rewriting the article in their own languages Sometimes,
30
Trang 40the translators make their own choices to stat a new paragraph, which is different from the original format
Basically, four Inmslations reproduced essential delails in the message of the
author to the readers However, in some cases, the translators rearranged the article structure intentionally This can be seen clearly in the second and third translations
Specifically, in V2, the author omitted the sixth paragraph and separated the (irsL
paragraph into two smaller parts For V3, some more sentences which are private
opinions were added to serve for his own political intention
Tn addition, as can be seen in the following examples, in some translations,
original sentences were combined into one sentence or separated into two sentences
This phenomenon has little effect on sentence meanings and aims at making sentences more understandable and clearer
1 VII-3: However, as the ASEAN Summit
statement demonstrates, China still has an
that regional insufficiently united to put forth a joint
front against Chinese coercion in the
South China Sea
VII-4: WhnilE W is sigmficam thai ASBAN
Yoreign Ministers issued a separate
statement, the “internationalization” of
disputes thal, China dreads has not yet
come to pass (and likely will not anytime
soon
V2: Tuy nhiên, như các phát Diệu tại lội nghị thượng dinh ASEAN
cho thay, mac di các Bộ trưởng,
Ngoại giao ASEAN cũng đã đưa
Ta một tuyên bỏ riêng vả điều nay
là có ý nghĩa, nhưng việc "quốc
tế hỏa" các tranh chấp ở Điển
Đông mà Trung Quốc lo sợ vẫn
chưa xây ra (và ral cd thé sé
không xây ra sớm)
ie} Viel: Whereas with the Philippines, South
Korea, and Japan, the Uniled States is
treaty-bound to take action, in the case of
other dispules in the South Clana Sea, V3: Trải ngược với Philippines,
Hàn Quốc và Nhật Bản, Mỹ bị
rảng buộc bởi các hiệp ước quốc
tế để can luệp vào các trường
31