Luận văn a translation quality assessment of the vietnamese version of the book harry potter and the philosopher’s stone in the series harry potter using newmark’s model

„13 CHAPTER 2 — APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’'S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER SEVEN OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE” 2.1, Step 1: A brief analysis of the

A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE

VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE BOOK “HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE” IN THE

SERIES HARRY POTTER USING NEWMARR’S MODEL

(Đánh giá chất lượng bản dịch tiếng Việt truyện “Harry Potter và hòn đá

phù thủy” trong tiểu thuyết Harry Potter áp dụng mô hình của

Newmark)

M.A MENOR PROGRAMME THESIS

Field: English Linguistics Code: 60.22.02.01

TIANOL 2014

A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE

VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE BOOK “HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE” IN THE

SERIES HARRY POTTER USING NEWMARR’S MODEL

(Đánh giá chất lượng bản dịch tiếng Việt truyện “Harry Potter và hòn đá

phù thủy” trong tiểu thuyết Harry Potter áp dụng mô hình của

Newmark)

MLA MINOR PROGRAMME THESIS

Field: English Linguistics

Code: 6022.02.01

Supervisor: Assoc Prof, Dr L@ Hamg Tién

TIANOI, 2014

DECLARATION OF AUTHORSHIP

Thereby staic that the lhesis enlitled “A translation qualily assessment of the book Larry Patter and the Philosopher’s stone in the series Harry Potter

using Newmark’s model” and the work presented in it is entirely my own Lor

the Degree of Master of Arts at University of Languages and Intemational

Studies, Vietnam National University, Hanoi, and this work has not been

subrniLted for any degree at any olher university or lertiary institution

Tlanoi, July 2014

Student

Hoang Thi Hằng Nga

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First and forcmost I would like to expross my sincorest gratitude to my supervisor, Assoc Prof Dr Le Hung Tien, for the continuous support of my

study with his patience, motivation, enthusiasm, and immense knowledge I

owe hum a debt of gratitude that cannot be measured

I also wish lo acknowledge my debi to all the teachers of the

Department of Post Graduate Studies at College of Foreign Languages,

Vietnam National University for their useful lectures, assistance and

enthusiasm during my course

Last but not Icast, T am grateful to my parents and all my family, from

whom 1 have received a lot of valuable support and encouragement

On the whole, without all these help my thesis would not have possibly been completed,

ABSTRACT

There is a fact that there have becn more and more literary translations

due to the process of globalization ‘[herefore, it is necessary to control the

quality of the translation sa that the readers can enjay the best of the foreign

literary works ‘his thesis is an attempt to assess the quality of a literary translation, specifically chapter seven “The sorang hat” excerpting from the novel “Harry Poitier and ihe Philosupher’s stone", basing on the schoma of

‘Translation Quality Assessment proposed by Newmark By this way, the

writer has found out that the translation has obtained a certain success However, il sill reveals some mismatches between the source 1exL and thư

target text especially in terms of semantics In addition, some other mistakes which may affect the conciseness of the translation are also pointed out From the basis of the findings, some implications are made along with suggestions

for further studies

iti

LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS

ST: Source Text

SL: Source Language

TL: Target Language

LIST OF TABLES

‘Yable 1: Omission and addition in the translation

Table 2: Comparing two versions in terms of the titles

Table 3: Comparing lwo versions in lerms of paragraphing

Table 4: Comparing twa versions in terms of relative clauses

Table 5: Comparing two versions in terms of passive and active farms

Table 6: Comparing two versions in lerms of pronouns and proper names

Table 7: Comparing two versions in terns of idioms

Table 8: Comparing two versions in terms of word choice and expression

Table 9: Mistakes in the translation in terms of grammar and meaning

19

21 23

1 Rationale for the study

&

3 Research questions

4, Scope of the study

5 Method ofthe emdy

1.3.3.4 Newnnak's comprehensive criticism approach „13

CHAPTER 2 — APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’'S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER SEVEN OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE”

2.1, Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects 16 2.2 Step 2: the translator’s interpretation of the SL text’s purpose his translation method and

2.3 Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the

2.4.1 Am evaluation of the translation in the translator’s term - 31 2.4.2 An evaluation af the translation in the critic’s term 38 2.4.3 Assess the lranslalion as a piece of writing, independently ofils original 35 2.5 An assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target Tamguage calle or

PART A INTRODUCTION

1 Rationale for the study

“Translation is not merely an interlinguistic process It is more complex than replacing sourec language text with targol language toxt and includes cultural and educational nuances that can shape the options and

altitudes of recipionts” (Dingwaney and Maivr, 1995) Translation performs a

crucial role in our understanding and lives as the globe scems smaller than

ever before based on information sharing and communicative advances Thus,

not only linguisls or scholars bul many people who work in different ficlds

are concemed ahout translation ‘lranslation is not an easy work, it is even

more challenging for translators with literary works Nowadays in Vietnam, there 1s a rapid growth of famous foreign literary works which have

diversified the literature It can not be denied that there is a number of works that have received love and positive attitude from readers Besides, there still

exist some works of had quality which have received criticism from both publication and profession ‘thus, there is necessary to evaluate the

translations, especially literary works

‘There are criteria for translation quality assessment which have heen

addressed by different linguists such as Nida, J Ilouse, Newmark From the

wriler’s point of view, among the suggesled models, Newmark’s model 1s a good one which can be used to assess translation quality ‘lhe writer has taken

the translation version of the book “Harry Poiter and the Philosopher's

stone” by Ly Tan in the series Harry Potter by IK Rowling to mcasurc how good the translation is

2 Objective of the study

‘This study aims to make a comparison and analyze the ST’ and the ‘I'l according to Newmark’s model to assess the quality of the Vietnamese

translation of chapter seven in the book “Harry Potter and the Philosopher's

stone”, find out some problems of literary translations and draw some suggestions for this field of translation

3 Research questions

At the end of this study, the study will answer the following questions:

- How good is the Vietnamese version of chapter seven of the book

“Farry Potter and the Philosapher’s stone” according to Newmark’s model?

- What might be some implications from the translation?

4, Scope of the study

Harry Petter is a famous scrics all over the world It meludes seven

books corresponding seven adventures of Harry Potter in Hogwarts — school

of wizardry Since the release of the first novel, “Harry Potier and the

Philosopher's Stone”, the books have gained immense popularily, critical

acclaim and commercial success worldwide The series has been translated

inlo 67 languages, placing Rowling among the must Uanslaled authors in

history With such a limit sct out at the beginning of the study, all the analysis

and comparison between the ST and the TT is only restricted in chapter seven

of the book As relerred to earlier, Newmark’s model 1s adopted Lo assess the

quality of the translation in this research

5 Method of the study

The research utilizes qualitative design Moreover, descriptive and contrastive techniques are employed to evaluate the translation text The original text will be

read thoroughly and comprehensively then the ST will be cumpared to its

translation according to five steps of Newmark’s model

1 A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its

functional aspects

2 The anslator's interpretation of the SL text’s purpose, his translation

method and the translation’s likely readership

3 A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original

4 ‘The evaluation of the translation: (a) in the translator’s term, (b) in

the eritie’s term

5 Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline

6 Organization of the study

The study is presented in 3 parts

Part A is the introduction which includes the rationale for the study, the

objective, the research questions, the scope, the method as well as the organization of the study

Part B includes 2 chapters In chapter one, the Literature Review in which some related concepts of literary translation, contrastive analysis and typical models of translation quality assessment are discussed In the second

chapter, the writer will apply Newmark’s model with five steps to analyze and

evaluate the translation

Part C is the conclusion including the conclusions, implications,

limitations and suggestions [or further sludy

PART B DEVELOPMENT

CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW

This chapter presents the theoretical background of the study including

some related concepts and typical models of translation quality assessment

1.1 ‘Translation theary

1.1.1 Definition of translation

‘There have been different definitions of translation so far According to Newmark (1981) “translation is a craft consisting in the attempt to replace a written message and/or statement in one language by the same message and/or statement in another language” House (1977) states that translation is

the replacment of a tcxl in the source language by a semantically and

pragmatically equivalent text in the target language Sharing the same point of view, Cartford (1965) defines translation as the replacement of a text in one language (sourec language) by an equivalent in another language (larget

language) The definitions of translation are diverse, however, they all share

the same sense thal translation docs nol refer to language as 4 syslem but

language m usc Furthermore, the preservation of semantic, pragmatic and

textual aspects of meaning across two different languages needs emphasizing

Eaithlul translabion Idiomatic translation Semantic translation Communicative translation

- Word for word translation: The SL word is translated into another language

by their most common meanings, which can be out of context at times

- Literal translation: The SL grammatical constructions are translated to their nearest TL but the lexical words arc translated singly, out of context

- Faithful translation: ‘he SL text is reproduced in its precise contextual

meaning under the constrainls of the TL grammatical structures

- Semantic translation: is the process of using scmantic information to aid in translation of data in one representation to another representation Semantic translation refers to thal type of translation which takes into account the

aesthetic value of the SL text

- Adaption: The text is rewritten considering the SL culture which is converted to the TT where the themes, characters and plots are preserved

- Free translation: It reproduces the matter without the manner or the content

without the form of the original

- Idiomatic translation: It reproduces the ‘message’ of the original and prefers colloquialisms and idioms which do not exist in the original

- Communicative translation: The exact contextual meaning of the original 1s

rendered in such a way that both content and language are readily acceptable and comprehensible to the readership

Among the above-mentioned methods, semantic and communicative

translation are the two most common ones which are often used in literary

translation

1.1.3 Translation equivalence

In translation theory, equivalence is regarded as a central concept According to Pym (1992) “equivalence is supposed to define translation, and translation, in turn, defines equivalence” Equivalence is a relationship between two texts in two languages, rather than between the languages

themselves

From Nida’s point of view, there are two typical equivalences, namely

formal equivalence and dynamic equivalence ‘The terms "dynamic equivalence" and "formal equivalence" were originally coined to describe ways of translating the Bible, but the two approaches are applicable to any translation of any text ‘lhe first one centers on the form and content of the

message of the ST whereas dynamic equivalence is the “quality of a

translation in which the message of the original text has been so transported into the receptor language that the response of the receptor is essentially like that of the original receptors.”

Baker (1992) extends the concept of equivalence to cover similarity in

ST and TT information flow and in the cohesive roles that ST and TT devices

play in their respectrve texts She explores cquivalenes at different levels in relation to the translation process such as grammatical, textual and pragmatic aspects, Equivalence can appear at word level and above word level, when

translating from one language into another Conceming grammatical

equivalence, she notes that grammatical rules may vary across languages and

this may pose some problems in lerms of finding a direct correspondence in

the ‘Il Among these grammatical devices which might cause problems in

translation Baker focuses on number, tense and aspects, voice, person and

gondor With regard to icxtual equivalence, it rofors to the equivalence

between a SL text and a ‘I'L text in terms of information and cohesion

Texture is a very important [ealure in translation since it provides useful

guidchnes for the comprchension and analysis of the ST which can help the translator in his or her attempt to produce a cohesive and coherent text for the

TC audicnce in a specilic context Finally, pragmatic equivalence relers lo

implicatures and strategies of avoidance during the translation process

6

Koller (1979) categorizes equivalence into five types According to the

scholar, there are five factors which can be argued to play a relevant role in the specification of equivalence type These five factors are also the five types

of equivalence The first one is denolative equivalence in which the SL and

‘TL words refer to the same thing in the real world ‘Lhis is the referential

identity between SL and TL units Besides donotative valuo, SL and TL words

should produce the same communicative valucs in the mind of’ native

speakers of the two languages or the equivalence transmitted by specific choices belweon synonymous expressions with respect lo level of siyle (register), the social and geographical dimension, frequency, etc It is called connotative equivalence The third type is text-normative equivalence in which The SI and TL words using the same or similar text types in their respective languages Fourthly, the receiver’ reader to whom the translation is directed so as to achieve an intended effect determines pragmatic equivalence type ‘The last type is formal equivalence in which the SI and ‘Ii having the same formal-aesthetic features-orthographic or phonological features, etc

1.2 Cuntrastive analysis

Contrastive Analysis has attracted many linguists with countless

debates One of the most well-known definitions for contrastive analysis is

offered by Lado, R In Linguistics Across Culiures He claimed thai "those

elements which are sumilar to [the leamer's] native language will be simple

for him, and those elements that are different will be difficult" (1957)

Another definition is introduccd by James (1980) In his point of view,

contrastive analysis is not concerned with classification, and, as the term

contrastive implios, 1L focuses on the dillorence between languages than in their likenesses Furthermore, contrastive analysis investigates the differences between pairs (or small sets) of languages against the background of

similarities and with the purpose of providing inpul to applied disciplines

such as foreign language teaching and translation studies With its largely descriptive focus contrastive linguistics provides an interface between theory and application IL makes use of theoretical findings and models of language description but is driven by the objective of applicability (Gast, V 2011)

Contrastive analysis, therefore, is defined as 4 linguistic enterprise

aimed at producing inverted two-valued typologies (it is always concerned with a pair of languages), and founded on the assumption that languages can

vaniely of definition on translation criticism According to McAlester{1999),

“translation criticism consists in stating the appropriateness of a translation,

which naturally also implies a value judgment, which need not however be a quantified one, though it should perhaps explivilly justilicd Lor il lo be of any

value” ‘Io be more comprehensive, Hewson (2011) says that translation

quality assessment “altempts to sel out lhe interpretative potential of a

translation scen in the light of an cstablish mterpretative frame work whose origin lies in the source text” Furthermore, “translation criticism is

evaluative, in that as il explores a translalion’s interpretative potential, it looks

at degrees of similarity to or divergence from the source text’s perceived interpretative potential”,

Conceming the assessment of translations, Iouse (1997) has already

raised a question: “How do we know when a translation is good?” ‘There are some ideas expressing the views to evaluate a translation

“Ancedolal reflechons on the morits and weaknesses of translation have

been offered by generations of professional translators, poets and writers,

philologists and philosophers The status and relative weight of criteria such as the

“faithtulncss to the original”, “retention of the onginal’s special flavour”,

“preservation of the spirit of the source language” as opposed to concentrating on

“a natural Mow of the Wanslated text” and the “pleasure and delight of the reader of

the translation” have been discussed at great length” (House , 1997) She also points out that most of the anecdotal approaches to the evaluation of translation emphasize the beticf that the quality of a translation depends largely on the translator’s subjective interpretation and transfer decisions, which are based on his linguistic and cultural intuitive knowledge and experience [lowever, determining

whether the translation is good or not should be based on a special model of

quality translation assessment, net on the human’ feelings or factors ‘Vhus, im the

next part, some of the outslanding qualily tanslalion assessment models will be

presented with the aim to provide necessary information before applying the

model to evaluate the translated version of the novel

1.3.2 Translation Quality Assessment models

1.3.2.1 Response — based approach

As mentioned in the previous parl, most of the anecdotal approaches lo

the evaluation of translation base on the translator’s linguistic and cultural

intuitive knowledge and experiences We can state that these approach are unenlightening, as they represent a narrow and selective view of translation one-sidedly emphasizing one aspect of translation ‘the process of comprehension and interpretation on the part of the translator

9

Another view for translation quality assessment is response — based

One of the representatives of this approach is Nida Nida’s three criteria for assessing the quality of a translation are programmatic and general

“Lgoneral eflicioney of the communication process, 2 comprehension of intent, 3 equivalence of response.” ‘[he third and most important criterion is,

of course, closely relaicd Ww Nida’s well-known basic principle of “Dynamic

(or Functional) Equivalence of a Translation”, the manner in which receptors

of the translation text respond to the translation text must be equivalent to the manner in which receptors of the translation text respond to the sourue Lext

‘Three similar criteria are suggested by Nida and ‘laber (1969): the correctness with which the receptors understand the message of the original, the ease of comprehension and the involvement a person expericnces as a result of the adequacy of the form of the translation Again, these behavioral criteria need to

be further explained and put to the practical test: the crucial question then remains whether the responses in question can be measured Nida and Taber themselves suggested some practical tests However, each of the test has its

own shorlcomings The major weakness of all response-based suggestions for

translation evaluation, as J House analyzed, is the weakness of all behaviour-

centered approached : the “black box”, the human mind is not taken into account, such that, far instance, lusts involving export judges, must lake erilena for granted that need to be developed and made explicit in the first place

1.3.2.2, Text-based approach

In this approach, the soures text, its linguistic and textual structure and its meaning potential at various levels (including the level of context of siluation in a systemic framework), is scen as the most importanl, indeed constitutive factor in translation Koller (1974) introduced three steps for translation quality assessment The first step is to consider the transferability

10

of the original text If the original text is tans[erable, we have the most

equivalent translation If the original text is untransferable, we have no equivalence or no translation is made The source text should be remained the

same The second stcp is lo re-translalc the target text mto the source

language A translation is acceptable if the target text is similar in meaning

with the soureo text aller il is re-translated Finally, the third step is to have

the translation proof-read by native speakers of the target language A translation must satisfy readers as native speakers of the target language Although presenting insightful, original and stimulating ideas, Koller docs not

go beyond a very general outline with no suggestions for operationalization

Reiss's work (1970) is based on the concept of equivalence, but

considers the text, rather than the word or sentenec as the level at which

communication is achieved and at which equivalence must be sought Reiss’s functional approach aims primarily to systematize translation evaluation

Reiss believes that the “transmission of the predominant function of the

source text is the determining factor by which the target text is judged” and

proposes “specific translation methods according tu lext type” She suggested

that different types of texts can be differentiated to the basis of three functions

of language : content-oriented texts, e.g.news, scientific-technical texts, form-

oriented texts, such as pooms and litcrary genres, and conative texls, c.g

advertisements and texts of a persuasive bent ‘lhe determination of the

textual types presupposes a careful analysis of the source texl, but the

suggestions arc not explicit cnough, she gives no clear indication as to how one should go about establishing language functions and a source text types

Further, al what level of delicacy this can and should be done is left

unexplained ‘Thus, it needs to be further developed and made more concrete

in order to form a workable model of translation quality assessment

1.3.2.3 Julianne Iouse’s functional — pragmatic approach

House (1977) is in favour of semantic and pragmatic equivalence and argues that source text and target text should match one another in function She gives a model lor Wanslation qualily assessment which is based on pragmatic theories of language [t attempts to avoid anecdotalism, reductionism,

programmatic staloments and intuilively implausible onc-sided considerations of

the source text and target text alone The key point in her model is to compare

function of the source text and the target text; therefore, to understand her model,

il ig necessary to understand “function” of an individual text which is different

from function of language She states that the “function of a text is the application or use which the text has in the context of a situation” The function consisting af an idcational and interpersonal functional component is equivalent

to that of the original An initial analysis of the original according to a set of situational dimensions for which linguistic correlates are established will be made ‘Then, there will be a comparison of both the original’s and the translation’s textual profits and functions In this comparison, some mismatches

will occur Any mismatch along the dimensions is an exror which is then

categorized into covertly erroneous errors and overtly erroneous errors

1) Covertly erroneous errors: those which result from a mismatch in one

siluational dimension

2) Overtly erroneous errors: those which result from a non-dimensional

mismatch Such errors can be divided into

- Breaches of the target language system

- Mistakes in the denotative meanings in source text and target text

The final stage m House's model is to list both covertly and overtly

erroneous errors and a statement of the relative match of the two functional

components is made

In her revisited model, she gives a clearer scheme for analyzing and

comparing original and translation texts In general, the application of her

new model enables us to examine a text on four different levels: Function,

Rogistor and Language

According to Le (2006), the model of House has a clear linguistically

theorctical base and concrete, detailed steps However, this model also

requires linguistic knowledge and high occupational skills of the critics and the criticism mainly aims at researching languages and translation Therefore, this model has not been apphed widely and just at cxperimental level in

translation studies

1.3.2.4 Newmark’s comprehensive criticism approach

Newmark was an English professor of translation In his book “a text

book of translation” (1995), he presents his own model for translation quality assessment called “comprehensive criticism of a translation” including five

steps

1 A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional

aspects

2 ‘The translator's interpretation of the SI text's purpose, his translation

method and the translation’s likely readership

3 A scloctive but representative detailed comparison of the translation wilh the original

4 The evaluation of the translation: (a) in the translator's term, (b) in the

critie’s term

5, Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline

In the first step, the critic has to try to point out the author’s purpose,

that is, the attitude he takes towards the topic; characterization of the readers

that the literary work aims at , an indication of ils category and type The

critic assesses the quality of the language to determine the translator’s degree

of license In this step, the critic can briefly state the topic or themes but avoids rotelling the plol He alsu docsn’L necd lo spend time discussing the author’s life, other works unless they may help to understand the text

Jn the second step, the eritic allompts to sec the Lext from Lhe point of

view of the translator, is somctimes overlooked in translation criticism The

critic has to review whether the translator has omitted any section of the original text and whether il a{Teots the message thal author wishes lo express Moreover, it is important to find out if any text is over-translated and to what extent the cultural meaning of the original text has been changed or

transferred to the target culture In interpreting the translator’s intention and

procedures, the critic tries not to criticize but to find out why he has used these procedures Finally, in any event, the critic empathizes with the translator and distinguish between incompetence (inadequate knowledge of source and/or topic) and a translation method which may be too idiomatic or

toa academic for his own tasles but which appears consistent

‘The third step is the heart of the critique ‘The critic considers how the translator has solved the particular problems of the source language text Ile has lo group them under heads such as the tille, the structure, including the paragraphing and sentence connectives; shifts; metaphors; cultural words,

translalionese; proper names In this slep, the criique should consist of a

discussion of translation problems and not quick recipes for a correct or a

better translation Normally, in this section, the critic has to choose the most

solcclive and representative cxamples of the achievements and weaknesses of

the translated version in comparison with the original text

Fourthly, the critic will evaluate the referential and pragmatic accuracy

of the translation at three levels: first by the translator’s standards, second by

the critic’s standards, and last as a piece of writing, independently of its

orginal In the first two criteria, besides cvalualing the achievements of the translation, the critic has to find out if there is any semantic deficits in the

translation and what are the causes of this, In the last criteria, he has to assess

whether the translated version is written in a natural manner, that is, neat,

elegant and agreeable or not

In the last slop, especially in the case of literary works such as pocms, stories or novels, it is essential to assess the work’s potential importance within the target language’s literature by asking such questions as “Was it in fact worth translating?”, “Does it have any influence on the target Janguage’s

literature and culture?”

Although Newmark’s model is not as clear and well theoretically based

as in the case of House’s, it has many strong points in terms of application

‘This is due to the fact that these steps are initiated from the practical

experiences of the translators Moreover, it reflecls the problems and the

concerns of the translators in the translation process: therefore, it is easy to be

carried out For those reasons, in this thesis, the writer decide to apply

Newmark’s model for translation quality assessment ol chapter 7 of the bouk

“Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone”