Luận văn an analysis of some techniques to improve writing english business letters

Essential techniques in writing inglish business letters - 31 CIIAPTER IL SOME SUGGESTIONS TO VIETNAMESE LEARNERS FOR IMPROVING TECHNIQUES IN WRITING ENGLISH BUSINESS LETTERS 1.2.1.. R

_ BỘ GIÁO DỤC VÀ ĐÀO TẠO | TRUONG DAI HOC DAN LAP HAI PHONG

ISO 9001 : 2008

KHOA LUAN TOT NGHIEP

NGANH: TIENG ANH

HAI PHONG - 2010

IIAIPIIONG PRIVATE UNIVESITY FOREIGN LANGUAGES DEPARTMENT

_ BỘ GIÁO DỤC VÀ ĐẢO TẠO“

Nhiệm vụ đề tài

1 Nội dung va các yêu câu cần giải quyết trong nhiệm vụ để tải tốt nghiệp

( về lý luận, thực tiễn, các số liệu cần linh toán và áo bản vỡ)

2 Các số liệu cẦn thiết để thiết kế, tính toán

3 Địn diểm thực tập tốt nghiệp

CÁN BỘ HƯỚNG DẪN ĐẺ TÀI Người hướng dẫn thứ nhất:

Hoe ham, hoe viz

Cơ quan công tác:

Nội dung hướng đẫn:

Hoc ham, hoe vi:

Cơ quan công tác

Nội dung hướng đẫn

Dề tài tốt nghiệp được giao ngày l2 tháng 04 năm 2010

Yêu gầu phãi hoàn thành xong lrước ngày 10 tháng 07 năm 2010

Sink vién Người hướng dẫn

Hải Phòng, ngày thủng năm 2010

HIỆU TRƯỞNG

GS.TS.NGUYT Trần Hữa Nghị

PIIAN NIIAN XET TOM TAT CUA CAN BỘ HƯỚNG DẪN

1 Tỉnh thân thái độ của sinh viên trong quá trình làm đề tài tắt nghiệp:

2 Đánh giá chất lượng của khóa luận (so với nội dung y yêu cầu đã để ra trong

luận, thực tiễn, tính toán số

NHẬN XÉT ĐÁNHI GIÁ

CUA NGUOI CHAM PHAN BIEN DE TAI TOT NGHIEP

1 Đánh giá chất lượng dé tài tốt nghiệp về các mặt thu thập và phân tích tải liệu,

số liệu ban đầu, giá trị lí luận vả thực tiễn của để tài

2 Cho điểm của người chấm phản biện :

(Điền ghỉ bằng số và chữ)

Người chấm phản biện

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Tn the process of doing the graduation paper, I not only have ficed up with many problems in analyzing techniques im improving writing Unglish business letters, collecting toference matcriats but also di fficultics iar choosing the right way to oxpross my idea, However, Ì have received a lot of guidance, assistance, and enthusiasm from my supervisor, Ms Nguyen Thi

Thu MMnyen and other teachers in Foreign Language Department of Tai Phong Private

University Thanks to these helps, I have overcome the difficulties and completed my graduation paper successfilly

I wish to express my deepest gratitude and indebtedness to my supervisor Ms, Nguyen Thi

‘thu Huyen who has always been most willing and ready to give me valuable advices, sugecstions and materials to Gnish this study I would like thank all tcachers of Forcign Language Department of Hai Phong Private University for their precious and useful Iessons during my four— year study which is then the foundation of this graduation paper

Last but not Teast, I am grateful to my family and fiends for their encouragement and

inspiration

Iai Phong, June 2010

‘Vu Thi Huong Giang

5, Design of the study

PART THO: DEVELOPMENT., chi nheHreeeieeesearrreireaooe.Ẩ

CHAPTER 1: THEORETICAL BACKGROUND

1.1 An ovcrvicw on Business IOWcr cece

1.2.1 The sales leffe c cài

1.2.2 The inquiry lelteT cceeiieniieiirerrre

1.2.3 The Onder LOWor ccceessssessseesessssesarssnsseseneeseneiaess

12.4, The acknowledgement letter 22

12.5 The 1c[usal lcUET, cài

1.2.8 The resizniation letfe cc sec cee,

CILAPTER II ANALYSIS OF SOME TECIINIQUES IN IMPROVING WRITING ENGLISH BUSINESS LETTERS

ILL Essential techniques in writing inglish business letters - 31

CIIAPTER IL SOME SUGGESTIONS TO VIETNAMESE LEARNERS FOR

IMPROVING TECHNIQUES IN WRITING ENGLISH BUSINESS LETTERS

1.2.1 Eliminating negative words, using positive words 4

HL.2.2 Foeusing on what the reader can đo rather than what cannot be done 44

TIL 3, TOG esses eieesesnsesecesnssieessessaneesensaniiense AG

THI.4.1 Avoid the using of slang in writing letter 49

HL.4.2 Avoid tsing overly technical terms, unfamiliar abbreviations, 49

11.4.3, Avoid using chichœs

11.4.4 Avoid sexist language

SI

TILA.S, Avoid ropetition in writing letler

4iLS Raising student’s awareness of cultural differences between Vietnamese and Western

style in writing a business letter

REE: CONCLUSION |

PAR

References

List of figures

Figure 2 : Modified block-letter style,

Eigttte 5 : Order letter cocenoeierre

Figtre 7 : Letter refusing a speakine invitation

Figure 10 : Resigning under negative conditions

to satisfy this trend, the business letter has became increasmely inmportant

Whether a mail order business is carried on or nol, the lelfer #8 no less important Goods arc

bought, collections made, complaints adjusted, instructions given, business policies and selling campaigns outlined in the business letters Realizing the important role of business letter,

Victnamese students have

effectively is significant in the integration process into WTO

Llowever, there is a fact that not everyone can write a successful business letter in inglish

1 studying hard because to deal with English business letter

‘because wriling @ lclicr presents a parlicular type of the language and the writer should make it

natural, lively and persuasive

It is very difficult to lean business letter writing well and understand it deeply We can not only fearns ils basic rides of formal, styles but also studies all of ils aspects Wriling 4 correct

form of English business letter is really a problem not only to elementary students but also to

students at upper levels or even graduated one

Thus T decided to choose “ An analysis on some tochniques lo improve writing Fngtish business letter” as the topie for my research with the hope that learners will able t know more about the usage of techniques in writing business letters

2 Aims of the study

You have right to express yourscif and your intension in any manner you picase in an English business letter, but if you wish to communicate effectively, you should use standard

English and follow all of rulss in English business letter writing,

The aims of this paper are :

- Giving theoretical background of definition, importance, purpose, business letter format

anil some types of business leller

- Finding out some common mistakes in writing an English business letter

~ Analyzing and suggesting some techniques in order to have good will in writing English business letter

3 Scope of the study

There are so many different material resources and researches that require a lot of time and hard labor while my personal experience is limited Therefore, this study can only focns on study

seme effective techniques in English business Isler writing skills, cspecially through the analyzing the business letters in order fo suggest appreciate solutions to overcome such difficulties in writing

Thape that this study is a good reference material for the Tmglish leamers who wish to build

a goodwill in writing English business Icttcrs

4, Methods of the study

To finish this paper, I myself carry out the method of Inductive study which means that I

go ftom concrete materials of sample business letters to remarks and conclusion

A part Grom that, The Qualitative method is also applied to analyze the long, the language usage in different collected business letlers

The theoretical background, the types of business letters are extracted from variety of resources such as books, websites and experiences of businessperson who deal with those in their

daily work

5 Design of the study

My graduation paper is divided into three parts, in which the sccond naturally is the most

important part

«Part one, is the introduction, in which the rationale of the study, the aims of the study, the scope of the study, the method of the study, design of the study are presented

«Pari two, is he development, the main par! thal includes three chapters

1 Chapter one : theoretical background which focuses on the definition, important role, purpose, format and types of business letters

2 Chapter two : analysis business letter

of some techniques in improving writing Fnglish

3, Chapter three : some suggestion to Viemamese leamers for improving techmques in writing English business letter

* Part three, is the conclusion, summatizes the previous parts.

PART TWO DEVELOPMENT

CHAPTER I: THEORETICAL BACKGROUND

11, An overview on Business letters

1.1.1 Definition af Business letter

In 2007, the Post Office of Vietnam estimated that of the 72 million items of post they

dslivered daily, 80% were business communications Business letter are business tools, they are used to provide of request information, confirm Jess formal cormumications or highlight a

problem that needs to be resolved So, What is a business letter ?

A business letter is a formal communication between people or organizations who are

involved in trading, exchanging money for goods or services

Writing a business letter is about developing that trade, so it is important to remember that

@ business letter is an official document Of course there are many other communications bại

ween peoples ard companies, for instance telephone conversations, crail, iectings,

presentations, contracts, orders and invoices A business letter is the most powerfiil

communications tool for providing structured and considered information in a formal way

A business letter is a letter written in formal language, usually used when writing from

one business organization to another, or for correspondence between such organisations and

their custamers, clients and ather external parties The overall style of letter will depend on the

relationship hetween the parties concerned ( wikipedia.org)

A business letter serves the main purpose of comnmnication between two companies, or it

is a method to talk to different people within a business

Cedners.com)

Business letter is a leiter dealing with business.( synonym.com )

Among many definitions, a “business letter” according to the Oxford English dictionary is

“a missive, comnuotication in writing addressed to a person or body of person Also in extended

use applied to certain formal documents issued by persons in authority”

In my opinion, business letters are formal letters used for business to business, business to dient, ar client to business conespondenes A business lotler is a formal means of communication between two people, a person and a corporation, or two corporations, Business letters differ from personal letters because they follow very strictly set rules for composition

Many people arc intimidated by the praspeel of writing to strict guidelines, however business letiers are nothing to be aftaid of They are too useful a tool to be stigmatized by the public

s lose customers Therefore, writing of lelfers in

‘business language is very important which would impress customers and investors

For instance, if a customer placed an order for 10 laptops, the company should accept and address the letter as “we thank you for your order and we canfirm the dispatch of 10 laptops”

which means thanking the clicnt is very important as the customer would be very pleased to read

such lines in business letters, in case of payment request writing letters, the content of the letter should be quite explanalmy indicating the need for payment, Use of harsh or rude language

would cause fimther harm and damages the relation between company and clients Therefore,

while writing payment request letters, content should be brief and to the point, such as “we bring

your kind attention to the payment pending from your end” because we can never assess the

yeason why payment has beer held up whether urmoticcably or duc lo lack of funds, therefore,

the letter must be polite and professional

Business letters are the life blood of communication for any business ‘here are many

types of business letters in usc Many people thought thal business letter would be a thing of the

past once the email and other technology seep into the offices This notion has so far been

proven false Business letters are still in wide use and their importance hasn’t been diminished to

the slightest There arc many rcasons why we usually write business letters Some of the most common and the obvious reasons for writing business letters are given below

1.1.3, Purpose

Business Iellers arc used for many purposes such as lo make inquizi

orders or bank correspondences etc The main and the basic function of the business letter is not only to convey your message to the person who receives the letter but also to influence the reader

send replies, to place

‘A business letter (or formal letter) is a formal way of communicating between two or more parties, There are many different uses and business letters Business letters can be informational, persuasive, molivational, or promotional

A well-written, professional business letter can easily open up doors and allow your opinion

or request to be heard Some of the more common reasons to write a business letter are:

¢ To request more information about a product

© Toask for a business reference

e _ To express your opinion about a product

© To transmit a message from the writer to the reader

« To persuade the reader to act

e To create goodwill in the reader

For the above purposes, business letter is really an indispensable means of communication

in today’s life

1.1.4 The format of the English business letter

The letter tells a lot about the writer and the organization he or she represents Just as the clothes you wear to job interviews play a part in the first impression you make on potential

employers, the appearance of your business letter may be crucial in influencing a recipient who

has never seen you

The rules for preparing a neat, attractive letter are not difficult to master, and they are important particularly if you type your own letter

1.1.4.1, Parts of the business letter

All business letters have certain elements in common Here are the standard parts of an

business letter : Sender’s address, date, reference line, receiver's address, attention line,

salutation, subject line, the body, complimentary close, signature and enclosure Several of them

appear in every letters, others appear only when desirable or appropriate

1 Sender’s address

This part of the letter shows the organization’s logo, name, full address (street, city and state,

ZIP code), telephone number (almost always) and email address (often) For example

2, Date

Itis the date on which the letter is written There arc tive conventions in usc, The standard Gateling in the U.S is month/date/year while European dateline is date‘month’yzar The name of month is often written in fall and the mưneral indicating the day is without stndrd or

For exarnple British dateline ; 73 September, 2010

American dateline : September 13, 2010

Dr A.B Markus, Professor

University of Alaska Office of Admissions P.O.Box 757480

Fairbanks, Alaska 99775-7480

5 Attention line

This is not always required, It should be used when the letter is addressed to an orpanization

as a whole, but the writer wants it to be handled by a specific person from the organization, An attention line (starting with Allention or Alin) may take any of the following forms

For example

Attention: Dy Henry

Attention : Director of Marketing

6, Salutation

The style of salutation should follow that in the first line of the receiver's address If in the reeciver’s address, the recipient is addressed by name, the salutation is “Dear Mr/ids + surnome”, If that fust line contains a job title such as Human Resouree Manager, then use “Dear SiréMfadan” (US: Ladies and Gentleman)

A situlation is followed by a carmna (Dear Mr Johnson.) in a British business Iollcr and colon (Dear Mr Jonkison:) in an American one For example:

Deas Ms Smith

Dear Mi Smith, When you do not know whether the recipient is a man or woman, you may use a title appropriate to the context of the Jetter

letter and appear

“Subject:” or “Re:” (an abbreviation for Regarding), For example

Re: REQUEST FOR INFORMATION ON SECURITY ALARM SYSTEM

In general, letters include one or snore paragraphs Each paragraph should focus en main content which normally stands in the first position of paragraph

« ‘The first paragraph introduces the reason or purpose of the letter

= The second paragraph develops clearly the reason

* The last paragraph shows the writer’s attitude towards the subject

9 Camplimentary close

‘This is a polite, formal way to end a letter The complimentary close should match the tone

Customer Service Manage

11, Enclosure

‘The enclosure is used to indicate that something is attached to the letter Such a notation

helps recipients confirm thal all the enclosures are included when receiving the Teller For

example :

Enel : Security Alarms brochure

1.1.4.2 Margin and line spacing

Normally, the English business letter is horizontally centered The margins around the letter

should be an inch at least

Relow are some spacing gnidelines for the business letter

Taleline | blank line betaw the last line of sender’s address

Receiver’s address 1-40 blank lines below the dateline

Attention line 1 blank line below the receiver's address

Salutation 1 blank line below the last line of the receiver’s address

Subject line 1 blank line below the salutation

T blank line below the salutation (single-space within

‘Complimentary close L blank line below the last line of the body

Signature block 3 blank lines below the complimentary close

Enclosure notation 1 blank line below the reference initials

1.1.4.3 The layout of the English business letter

The letter layout is the way of arranging all the basic letter parts Sometimes a company adopts a certain format as its policy; sometimes the letter writer is allowed to choose the most

appropriate format

Two major letter layout styles are common used for the English business letter »

1 Block : This is the most modem of the formats and the one most widely used Since every line of the block style letter begins at the left margin, this format saves typing time Block format tends nonverbally to suggest efficiency The evenness of the left margin projects a neat, orderly

image

2 Modified block : Modified block is the same as block letter layout, except that the sender’s address, date, complimentary close and signature block start near the horizontal center

of the page, and are aligned vertically Many people consider the modified block’s appearance

more balanced and traditional,

Bi Mr George W Nagel

eka 3 Director of Operations

Boston Transit Authority

57 West City Avenue Boston, MA 02210

Reference line | Our ref: DBI869

Enclosed is our Gal report evaluating the safely moasures Cor Body the Boston Intercity Transit System,

We believe that the report covers the issues you raised and that it

is sclf-oxplanatory However, if you have many any futher questions, we would be happy to meet with you at your convenience

We would also like to express our appreciation to Mr LK Sullivan of your commitee for his generous help during our rips

to Boston

Complimentary

close

Signature Œ, CEO ly he Roun

Typed name Carolyn Brown, Ph.D

Sincerely,

Title Director of Research

Additional Bnclosure : Final Safety Report

information copy : Safety Committee Members

Dr Carolyn Brown Direelor of Rescarch vans & Associates

520 Niagara Street

Recetver’s address

Texington, KY 40502 Date December 8, 2010

Salutation Dear Dy Brown, :

Body Thank you very much for hlowing me to tour your testing

facilities The information I gained from the tour will be of

great help to me in preparing the report for my class at

Marshall Tnslilute The tour has also given me some insight

inte the work { may eventuglly do as a laboratory technician

I especially appreciated the time and effort Vikram Singh

spent in showing me your facilities His comments and

advice were most helpful

Again, thank you

Signature “tuc Warden

‘Typed name Leslie Warden

Figure 2: Modified block-Letter style

L1.5 Abbreviation

Shorisning or abbreviations are used much in commercial correspondence because it is very useful in speeding up writing and easy to read

The following abbreviations are widely used in business letters

* "A.M," "M,," and "P.M." for forenoon, noon, and aftemoon

* LC letter of credit

+ Lid=limiled

¢ cc=carkion copy (when you senda copy of a latter (o more than œne person, you use this abbreviation to let them know)

cone = enclosure (when you ineluds other papers with your letler)

© cif cost, insurance and freight

© VAT = value added tax

L2 Several Business letter

There are almost as many types of letters as there are reasons for writing This chapter is devoted to a number of typical letters ; the order letter, the inquiry fetter, the acknowledgment letter, the complaint letter, the adjustment letter, the refusal letter, the resignation letter and the

sales letter.

1.2.1 The sales lelter

A sales letter, ot letter that promotes a product, service, or store, requires both a thorough knowledge of the product or service and a keen awareness of the potential customer’s needs Kor this reason, many business employed in a snvall business or are sellerployed, yon will probably

have to write your sales letters yourself

A sales letter should catch the reader’s attention, arouse the reader’s interest, emphasize the benefits of the product or service, and invite the reader to respond You should keep the

following points in mind :

» Alfrael the reader’s allention and arouse his or her interest in the opening

+ _ Continue to emphasize the benefits of the product to the reader Do not exaggerate, you will lose the readcr’s confidence if you claims sound unreasonable:

2 Suggest ways thai the reador can mnake immediate usc of the product or servive

© Make it easy and worthwhile for the customer to respond You might include a local strect map showing how to gct to your store, a discount coupon, instructions for convenient phone in orders and free delivery, or a Web address where the customer ean

download more information

Tanica’s Cycle Shop

775 First Avenue Ottumwa, Towa 52345

(51534536

April 3, 2008

Dear Mr, Sommers,

Are you ready to go bike riding this spring-but your bike is not ?

Janice’s Cycle Shop is ready to get your bike in shape for the beautiful day ahead We will lubricate all moving parts : check the tires, brakes, chain, lights, hom, and all other accessories; and

make any minor repairs all for only $10 and the coupon

enclosed with this letter

Just slop in any day , Monday through Saturday, between 8 am

and 9 p.m We are conveniently located at the comer of Hirst and Walker You can pay wilh cash, chock, or credil card

If you bring your bike in before 10 am, you can be enjoying a spring bike ride that evening

Happy riding ! Your sincerely,

An ice

Janice’s Cycle Shop

Figure 3 : Sales letter

2.2 The inquiry letter

An inquiry Ictter is a formal Icttcr making a Icgal claim, and rcquesting that the claim be

satisfied, either by asking the receiving party to perform a previously ignored responsibility ot obligation, rapay for damages they caused, retuming items belonging lo the author, or some

other legal issue that needs to be settled.

Being able to writs a inquiry letter is also a valuable skill, An inguiry letter template helps

‘one to ask querics related to a product, job, funds, promotional materials, ote The inquiry letter

format should be written ina ttiendly tone so that the recipient is happy to reply,

Could you please send me some information on heating, systems for an all electric, energy efficient, median priced house that our systems design class at the University of Dayton is designing,

The house, which contains 2,000 square feet of living space

(17.600 cubic feel), meets all ihe requirements stipulater! in your

brochure “Insulating for [fficiency” We need the following

information:

1The proper-size heat pump to use in this climate for such a

home,

2The wettage of the supplemental electrical heating units

that would be requires for this climate

We will be happy to send you a copy of our preliminary design report, Thank you very much

1.2.3 Lhe order ktfer

One of the most common reasons for writing a business letter is the necd to ordcr supplics or

equipment Obviously, an order letter must be specific and complete if you are to receive the

exact item you want

Sơ, am order letier is written by a porson or organization wishing lo make a purchase The letter should be specific, accurate, and complete, but not cluttered with unrelated details,

Make sure that the order letter contains the following informatian, as it applies to the items oritems you arc purchasing

The exact name and part mumber of the iter Any useful description of the item - size, style, color, and so on

«The quantity needed of each iter,

«© The price of the item

«The shipping method

The date of the onder and the date by which you need the itern

«The exact and full shipping address

= ‘The method payment

WRITE EDITORIAL SER VICLS

5209 Mountain View Road Flagstaff, AZ 86001 Phone (520) 555-1134

MEDIA PRODUCTS LTD

1200 Industrial Park Drive Boulder, CO 85059

September 23, 2009

Attention : Sales Department,

Please send the following items listed in your August catalog (CR-