Report for cross cultural research course mai's life in the usa

Mai is a Vietnamese person who choose to marry an American man and living in the United States.. When she goes to the United States, she feels fascinated about everything around her, the

DONG THAP UNIVERSITY FOREIGN LANGUAGE DEPARTMENTS

REPORT FOR CROSS-CULTURAL RESEARCH COURSE

MAI'S LIFE IN THE USA

IMPLEMENTATION TIME: December 19-December 26

COURSE CLASS: EN4108-SR02

STUDENT NAME: LE HOANG HUY

STUDENT ID: 0019410452

EMAIL: lehoanghuy09012000@gmail.com

ORIGINALITY Originality statement

I, Le Hoang Huy, hereby submit my paper for the Cross-cultural studies course, entitled Mai's life in America and truthfully declare that the paper is a product of my onginal study To the best of my knowledge and belief, all information from other sources has been properly cited and acknowledged in the reference list I understand that should the course teacher discover that this paper is a product of plagiarism, I accept the right of the teacher to impose appropriate disciplinary actions including failing the assignment or points being taken off up to how serious the misconduct is

Signature

Lê Hoang Huy

TOPIC 3 Matz is a young Vietnamese girl married to an American man She is about to immigrate to the US She has a bachelor’s degree issued by a Vietnamese university However, she also learns to do nail work so that she can work in a nail salon in the US in case she cannot get

a job she enjoys doing there Based on your understanding of cross-cultural studies of US and American cultures, picture Mai’s life in the US in her first 3 years there Provide detailed analysis, explanations, and examples to illustrate your points

In the modem era, the United States is a nation where many foreigners choose to live in this high cost nation In this essay, I am going to show you the whole picture about the Mai’s life in the United States in 3 years Mai is a Vietnamese person who choose to marry an American man and living in the United States In the United States, she has to care her family so much and find a good job In this essay, the author chooses some aspects in her life such as working, relationship and family for describing and giving some analysis about her life Because of the limited essay, the author tries my best to give the perfect analysis about her life so much

Mai’s life in the first month to the eighth month of the first year is very wonderful to her, which means that she comes into the honeymoon stage of the W-shaped diagram about the change of a person in a new culture In details, Mai loves her husband (an American person) who gives her many information about the US culture and Mai also understand and know some sign of feature of a typical American person from her husband Therefore, she prepares a good position for living in a new culture with her husband very carefully When she goes to the United States, she feels fascinated about everything around her, the American people are quite active and quick, which make her feeling professional from them This is the first time she comes to a foreign country, so she would choose to experience some good tangible feature in a new nation She and her husband tend to visit some attractive place in the US for traveling And her husband also introduces her his family and friend or neighbor Moreover, Mai feels that the American people are pretty friendly The husband’s parents care her working or asking about her Vietnamese family They also express to be willing to help her for dealing with some problems in the new

culture, which is wonderful to her Moreover, her husband’s friends are very easy to take a communication with and chatting freely In addition, she also finds that the American friends are not shy to share their personal information to the stranger, which make her feeling fascinated about the American culture very well For example, when talking with the husband’s friend, she also listens or knows some funny personal stories between the husband and his friend or some the stories about her husband’s childhood which are quite attractive to her Moreover, the husband’s friends also find a good topic for communicating and talking quickly or developing this topic with her husband Because of her low-level English, she does not understand well the content of conversation However, she finds that this kind of communication is active so much, which is not so similar as the Vietnamese conversation The other thing gives her a fascinated feeling which is the relationship between the husband and the wife can be describe as the connection between close friends In Vietnamese culture, the relationship of the spouses is considered as a set

of responsibility which means that the husband has to do some specific thing and the wife often has a specific role They just need to complete these roles well for considered her as

a close friend and wife which means that there is no intangible barrier in the relationship

of them and they can show themselves freely when facing some problems in working or relationship This feature is wonderful to Mai very much The equal status in the family helps her for showing any working well so much this feature is new and interesting to her In the United States, she makes new friend easily and she thinks that this friendship will help her beneficially in the future In the new culture, she has to find a good job for living And she feels easy for finding a good job in the US if she has a good working skill and understanding the steps of getting a job Because she learns to do nail work in Vietnam, she chooses a nail salon in the United States for working Moreover, the process

of getting a job in the US is quite similar to the process in Vietnam, so she does not feel difficult for following these steps, namely preparation (choosing a job and realizing the working skill), networking (showing others know that job we are looking for), resume development (prepare a CV or personal information), and interview (discussing with the employer about the work and the salary for this job) And the way for making a good impression on the employer are quite similar to The Vietnamese one Mai often prepare a

good look on fresh breath and clean or ironed dress for the interview After the interview stage, Mai starts to work in the relationship between the boss and worker in the US is not

so hierarchical as the Vietnamese one, which is so strange and ternfic to Mai This experience is very well to her because she feels familiar to the relationship in the working place She thinks that she collaborates with her co-worker and boss in working She does not work as a servant for serving the small king in the nail salon Mai likes the value of egalitarianism in the American culture, which helps her freely work in this place Her boss often avoids emphasizing the status or rank in the working place There is a kind of informal communication with boss or calling the boss’s first name However, she also realizes that the hierarchical structure of the organization still maintains in the working place with an appearance of egalitarianism in the working relationship For example, Mai can discuss freely about the problems in the job with her boss but her boss always is a final-decision maker in the nail salon This 1s strange and attractive to Mai In the working place, there is a view that she realizes from co-worker’s view is the “doing” value 1n the United States She like this kind of idea so much, which is equivalent to the idea of “we are what we do” in American culture “Doing” is emphasize so much in the US society and then “work” is the most important thing in the people’s life Mai often asks her husband “is your work a favorable hobby?” and husband says “yes” He loves his job which is a part of his life and raising his family Moreover, she figures out that the prestige of a person 1s related to the job him do For example, the lecturer in a university often has the prestige higher than a cleaner or the manager often has the prestige higher the blue collar worker Mai also knows how American people raises their children from her fried Mai usually comes to her new friend house for talking and solving some problems about work She finds that her friend’s child is very independent and she asks her friend about the way her friend educate or raise her child Therefore, Mai realizes that the American parents often give their child a separate room, which protects the parents’ privacy and developing the concept of individualism inside the child Mai like very much tis way of raising because the child can be independent and avoiding be tied to its mother This is a good personality for the child’s career In short, in the honeymoon period, Mai

find that American culture is quite attractive and interesting Moreover, she realizes some improvement for herself from this culture well

Now we come to the second stage of the W-shaped diagram about how a person changes

in the new culture Mai has experienced her first honeymoon stage in the United States and she loves almost things or values in the US However, from the ninth month to the twelfth month of the first year and from the first month to the fifth month of the second year she might come into the culture shock stage which is contrary to the honeymoon stage in which she realizes some unacceptable things about the American culture being uncomfortable to her Mai would be disappomted so much but this stage is short-term The author makes decision to analyze the common Mai’s problems and concentrate on some aspects for showing you perfectly about her culture shock stage, namely relationship, working and family She will come over this stage soon She is a new immigrant of the US, so her language is not so good as the American person After those first months, she feels difficult to express her thinking well in a new language which creates some challenge in her communication with her close friend and her customer For example, when she talks with her husband or her friend, they often use the strange idiom

or the way of euphemism in English or she tries to understand the conversation of husband and his friend but the quick and strange pronunciation are difficult to her for understanding These situation makes her depressed so much but her husband advices that she should learn and practice English every day, which can help her improve her skill and avoiding some challenge in this problem This kind of language problem is often happened in the new comer of the US, so she can come over it soon In the strange nation, she feels lonely extremely in spite of her husband She has moved into the US for the few months, so she does not have many deeply frendship She just has some superficial friends But it not important that her husband 1s a true close friend to her Besides, after a few months living the US, Mai misses Vietnam so much She finds that the everyday phone call to Vietnam cannot help her decrease the homesickness in her mind She misses her family and her Vietnamese fnend extremely Luckily, her husband knows her problems and he often talks with his wife in order to decrease the wife’s homesick Moreover, the American transportation is so strange to her She often makes some mistake

on crossing the road She cannot realize a good part for crossing on the road, so she often makes a jaywalking and paying many fires which is not good to her Now we come to analyze the aspect of the relationship in her life deeply The deeply friendship with the opposite sex friend is quite normal in the United States in which a man and a woman can have the same experiences or hobbies and they often work out together without any romantic connection in their relationship However, Mai does not believe in this idea about the different sex friendship She thinks that a restriction or a barrier should be set on this kind of relationship She feels so angry about this idea For example, her husband has many the female close friend and he often spends his free time with them Therefore, Mai feels so angry about that and she talks with her husband about this problem about this kind of relationship but her husband feels this non-romantic relationship with the different sex friend is quite easy to accept Therefore, her and husband often exchange the angry words about this kind of relationship so much She thinks that her husband does not care his wife’s feeling but her husband feels that she just makes a small problem bigger Besides, this problem is just a very small problem in the family’s relationship but there is

an American idea being quite not familiar to her value which is the American people often change their circle of friend when changing the living place For example, one day, the Mai’s husband talks about change the studio flat and moving to New York City because of the changing job Her husband finds a good job with high salary in that city and want to come there for being near to the working place He also finds a good job for her wife working a nail salon Mai feels hard for making decision because of her friend and her acquainted life in this place And she does not want to change the living place This situation creates a negative debate in the family It is common that the American people often change their circle of friend if they relocate new place for studying or working Because, they often build a friend ship based on the same experience and the mainstream value of the American people is the value of individualism This value is easy to understand but it is difficult for Mai to accept The mainstream value in Vietnam is the relationship-oriented value which helps Mai to maintain a good relationship with friends, relatives and family in her life The relationship with her co-worker and boss or her friend and the husband’s relative make her feeling difficult to make decision on the changing

place Moreover, Mai chooses to maintain this living place, because she thinks that a good living place can create a good career This idea is quite strange to her husband and he cannot accept this reason Finally, Mai follows her husband’s idea for moving into the New York City for living Moreover, when coming into the New York City, Mai feels difficult to make the best friendship with the American people She realizes that the American people often choose to create a superficial relationship with other in working, the same experience and conversation This thing is so disappointed to her so much For example, Mai and her co-worker often collaborates well in the nail salon and she often strives up a good conservation with her co-worker in the working time for releasing stress However, they almost do not have a good conversation outside the working place Mai feels very sad about this situation The second aspect of Mai’s life which the author is going to show you that is working When her American co-worker is not shy to give some questions about the job to the high-level manager in the nail salon if they understand the process of completing this job The action of giving question of the Mai’s co-worker is quite not professional to Mai Because she thinks that the way of questioning with the manager shows the bad explanation or the transference of the manager about the work She thinks that we have to search or finding an answer by herself for showing her professional position Besides, she also has some problems about the time management skill It is frequent that she is not on time perfectly and she 1s often late for a few minutes And she thinks that this wrong action cannot affect the work extremely adversely However, her boss does not think like her but he thinks that this is a sign of unproductivity in the work, showing the unprofessional attitude and expressing no respect

to the work or having no responsibility in the work This small mistake is a big problem in the American culture “Time is money” value is the normal norm and polite rule in the American culture However, Mai can understand well why time is so important but the American person just make a small problem larger The third aspect of the Mai’s life that the author shows you is the aspect of family In the husband’s family, Mai knows a story about the husband’s cousin called John John and his wife lives nearly her husband house They have a 25 years-old son Because of developing the value of individualism in the childhood, he chooses to work a part-time job in the studying time Therefore, he has an

own career with a good salary and deciding to move into a different city for the job Mai thinks that this son has no filial duty for caring his parents very much However, the parents of this son are agreeable to his idea, which shows the good sign for leaving the nest and creating his own family Mai cannot understand why the parent can accept this action which is contrary to the Vietnamese value (relationship orientation) Besides, when the husband talks about changing the living place, Mai ask about how the life of parents is difficult when without the children’s care Her husband just answer that we can hire a servant or a nurse for caring the parent’s life; moreover, the parents have their own pension, so we do not need to be worrying about it Mai thinks that this idea is quite not good and very strange to her She thinks that a stranger cannot care the parents as good as the children do Furthermore, this thinking is quite different to her cultural value In the American culture, the people lives in the value of individualism, so the elderly people often choose to live independently and not being dependent on their children Therefore, they often come into a nursing home where a good healthcare service and good frend has

In short, the culture shock period shows the contrasting ideas in the Mai’s original cultural value and the American value This is reflected on the analysis or the picture of the Mai’s life in the final years of the first years and initial years of the second year This period is quite short-term and the author thinks that Mai can have a good adaptability for living in this new culture and developing her life so much

The next periods (initial adjustment and depression) we have to draw a picture about the Mai’s life in the American culture from the sixth month to the twelfth month of the second year Mai would improve her language skill so much Therefore, she can communicate fluently with the native speaker That is great to her In the problem of transportation, Mai also find a good way for avoiding the strict restricted road to crossing the road Moreover, the Mai’s homesickness is not bad because she 1s acquainted to this kind of feeling She is almost to adapt the tangible aspect of the American culture However, the intangible value

is quite difficult for changing so much In the aspect of the relationship, she can accept that she has to change her circle of friendship for adapting well the new living and working place And she finds that concentrating on the old circle of relationship is quite wasting of time Concentrating on the current circle of relationship is beneficial so much

So she can accept to create new relationship Besides, Mai has to learn for making friendship quickly Therefore, a superficial friendship is a good choice which do not need many time for building a new friendship and being good enough for collaborating in work In the working place, Mai is familiar to making some good question to her boss when finding hard to understand the work or the task She realizes that a direct question can help her for getting a full information about this task and saving time for her And she also tres to adapt the working culture in the United States Importantly, Mai also learn to use the time management skill, which helps her being active and productive in working so much She also knows to arrange the tasks of the day suitably That is great The individualism in the American family is acceptable to her A young American person should be developed and independent for creating his new life or family This is a mature sign of American people Therefore, leaving the nest is a good idea to Mai However, she cannot accept the opposite sex friendship of her husband, which make her angry and jealous so much Because of this kind of the relationship, she and her husband often exchange the angry words in the house And she is very sad about that She cannot accept

to allow the parents to live in the nursing house She feels that this is a kind of shortage of the filial duty Money cannot buy the family time She misses her family when thinking of this idea

Now we come into the final stage of the W-shaped diagram, which 1s the acceptance and integration period This period is happened in the third year in the Mai’s life in the American culture Day by day, she finally accepts the different sex relationship of her husband Moreover, she also becomes open-minded for making the same relationship About the problem of the parents’ life in the nursing house Mai accepts it but it is depending on the parent’s decision

In conclusion, the essay describes the picture about the Mai’s life in the United States The author gives more details about the Mai’s life in 3 years by following the W-shaped diagram Moreover, we can realize the intangible war in the Mai’s mind about some values or problems in her life However, the long-lasting time and the searching knowledge can help her to become adaptable in the new culture