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Struggles of Brown, Jones, and Robinson,

by Anthony

Trollope

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Title: The Struggles of Brown, Jones,and Robinson

By One of the Firm

Author: Anthony Trollope

Release Date: December 14, 2008[eBook #27533]

HTML version most recently updated:June 10, 2010

Language: English

Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STRUGGLES

ROBINSON***

E-text prepared by Joseph E Loewenstein,

M.D., and Delphine

Lettau

Jones is vanquished by Mrs Morony (Chapter

XIV).

Click to ENLARGE

BY ONE OF THE FIRM

EDITED BY ANTHONY

TROLLOPE.

AUTHOR OF "FRAMLEY PARSONAGE,"

"THE LAST CHRONICLE OF BARSET,"

&c &c.

REPRINTED FROM THE "CORNHILL MAGAZINE."

WITH FOUR ILLUSTRATIONS.

LONDON:

SMITH, ELDER & CO., 15, WATERLOO PLACE.

1870.

V THE DIVISION OF LABOUR.

VI IT IS OUR OPENING DAY.

VII MISS BROWN PLEADS HER OWN

CASE, AND MR ROBINSON

WALKS ON BLACKFRIARS BRIDGE.

ON THE OPENING DAY.

X SHOWING HOW THE FIRM

INVENTED A NEW SHIRT.

XI JOHNSON OF MANCHESTER.

XII SAMSON AND DELILAH.

XIII THE WISDOM OF POPPINS.

XIV MISTRESS MORONY.

XV MISS BROWN NAMES THE DAY.

XVI SHOWING HOW ROBINSON

WALKED UPON ROSES.

XVII A TEA-PARTY IN BISHOPSGATE

STREET.

XVIII AN EVENING AT THE "GOOSE AND

GRIDIRON."

XIX GEORGE ROBINSON'S MARRIAGE.

XX SHOWING HOW MR BRISKET

DIDN'T SEE HIS WAY.

XXI MR BROWN IS TAKEN ILL.

XXII WASTEFUL AND IMPETUOUS SALE.

XXIII FAREWELL.

XXIV GEORGE ROBINSON'S DREAM.

THE STRUGGLES

It will be observed by the literaryand commercial world that, in thistransaction, the name of the reallyresponsible party does not show onthe title-page I—George Robinson—

am that party When our Mr Jonesobjected to the publication of thesememoirs unless they appeared ascoming from the firm itself, I at oncegave way I had no wish to offendthe firm, and, perhaps, encounter alawsuit for the empty honour ofseeing my name advertised as that

of an author We had talked thematter over with our Mr Brown, who,however, was at that time inaffliction, and not able to offer muchthat was available One thing he did

say; "As we are partners," said Mr.Brown, "let's be partners to the end."

"Well," said I, "if you say so, Mr.Brown, so it shall be." I neversupposed that Mr Brown would setthe Thames on fire, and soon learntthat he was not the man to amass afortune by British commerce He wasnot made for the guild of MerchantPrinces But he was the seniormember of our firm, and I alwaysrespected the old-fashioned doctrine

of capital in the person of our Mr.Brown

When Mr Brown said, "Let's bepartners to the end; it won't be forlong, Mr Robinson," I never said

another word "No," said I, "Mr.Brown; you're not what you was—and you're down a peg; I'm not theman to take advantage and goagainst your last wishes Whether forlong or whether for short, we'll pullthrough in the same boat to the end.

It shall be put on the title-page—'ByOne of the Firm.'" "God bless you, Mr.Robinson," said he; "God bless you."

And then Mr Jones started anotherobjection The reader will soonrealize that anything I do is sure to

be wrong with Mr Jones It wouldn't

be him else He next declares that Ican't write English, and that the bookmust be corrected, and put out by an

editor? Now, when I inform thediscerning British Public that everyadvertisement that has been posted

by Brown, Jones, and Robinson,during the last three years has comefrom my own unaided pen, I thinkfew will doubt my capacity to writethe "Memoirs of Brown, Jones, andRobinson," without any editorwhatsoever

On this head I was determined to

be firm What! after preparing, andcorrecting, and publishing suchthousands of advertisements in proseand verse and in every form of whichthe language is susceptible, to betold that I couldn't write English! It

was Jones all over If there is a partyenvious of the genius of anotherparty in this sublunary world thatparty is our Mr Jones.

But I was again softened by atouching appeal from our seniorpartner Mr Brown, though prosaicenough in his general ideas, was stillsometimes given to the Muses; andnow, with a melancholy and tendercadence, he quoted the followinglines;—

"Let dogs delight to bark and bite,

For 'tis their nature to.

But 'tis a shameful sight to see, when partners of one firm like we,

Fall out, and chide, and fight!"

So I gave in again

It was then arranged that one ofSmith and Elder's young men shouldlook through the manuscript, andmake any few alterations which thetaste of the public might require Itmight be that the sonorous, and, if Imay so express myself, magniloquent

accustomed to invite the attention ofthe nobility and gentry to our lastimportations was not suited for thepurposes of light literature, such asthis "In fiction, Mr Robinson, yourown unaided talents would doubtless

make you great," said to me theeditor of this Magazine; "but if I may

be allowed an opinion, I do think that

in the delicate task of composingmemoirs a little assistance mayperhaps be not inexpedient."

This was prettily worded; so whatwith this, and what with our Mr.Brown's poetry, I gave way; but Ireserved to myself the right of anepistolary preface in my own name

So here it is

Ladies and Gentlemen,—I am not abit ashamed of my part in thefollowing transaction I have done

what little in me lay to further Britishcommerce British commerce is notnow what it was It is becoming openand free like everything else that isBritish;—open to the poor man aswell as to the rich That bugbearCapital is a crumbling old tower, and

is pretty nigh brought to its last ruin.Credit is the polished shaft of thetemple on which the new world oftrade will be content to lean That, Itake it, is the one great doctrine ofmodern commerce Credit,—credit,—credit Get credit, and capital willfollow Doesn't the word speak for

respectable? And is not the word

"respectable" the highest term of

praise which can be applied to theBritish tradesman?

Credit is the polished shaft of thetemple But with what are you topolish it? The stone does not comefrom the quarry with its gloss on.Man's labour is necessary to give itthat beauteous exterior Thenwherewith shall we polish credit? Ianswer the question at once Withthe pumice-stone and sand-paper ofadvertisement

promulgated the different means bywhich they have sought to subjugatethe world "Audacity—audacity—

audacity," was the lesson which onehero taught "Agitate—agitate—agitate," was the counsel of asecond "Register—register—register," of a third But I say—Advertise, advertise, advertise! And Isay it again and again—Advertise,advertise, advertise! It is, or should

be, the Shibboleth of Britishcommerce That it certainly will be so

I, George Robinson, hereby venture

to prophesy, feeling that on thissubject something but little short ofinspiration has touched my eagerpen

There are those,—men of the oldschool, who cannot rouse themselves

to see and read the signs of the time,men who would have been in the lastranks, let them have lived when theywould,—who object to it that it is

advertisements do not keep thepromises which they make But whatsays the poet,—he whom we teachour children to read? What says thestern moralist to his wicked mother

in the play? "Assume a virtue if youhave it not?" and so say I "Assume avirtue if you have it not." It would be

a great trade virtue in a haberdasher

to have forty thousand pairs of besthose lying ready for sale in hiswarehouse Let him assume thatvirtue if he have it not Is not this the

way in which we all live, and the onlyway in which it is possible to livecomfortably A gentleman gives adinner party His lady, who has towork all day like a dray-horse andscold the servants besides, to getthings into order, loses her temper.

We all pretty well know what thatmeans Well; up to the momentwhen she has to show, she is asbitter a piece of goods as may be.But, nevertheless, she comes downall smiles, although she knows that

at that moment the drunken cook isspoiling the fish She assumes avirtue, though she has it not; andwho will say she is not right?

Well; I say again and again to all

advertise, advertise;—and don't stop

to think too much about capital It is

a bugbear Capital is a bugbear; and

it is talked about by those who haveit,—and by some that have not somuch of it neither,—for the sake ofputting down competition, andkeeping the market to themselves

There's the same game going on allthe world over; and it's the naturalgame for mankind to play at Theywho's up a bit is all for keeping downthem who is down; and they who isdown is so very soft through beingdown, that they've not spirit to force

themselves up Now I saw that veryearly in life There is always going on

a battle between aristocracy anddemocracy Aristocracy likes to keepitself to itself; and democracy is just

of the same opinion, only wishes tobecome aristocracy first

We of the people are not very fond

of dukes; but we'd all like to bedukes well enough ourselves Nowthere are dukes in trade as well as insociety Capitalists are our dukes;and as they don't like to have theirheels trod upon any more than theother ones, why they are alwayspreaching up capital It is their starand garter, their coronet, their

ermine, their robe of state, their cap

of maintenance, their wand of office,their noli me tangere But stars andgarters, caps and wands, and allother noli me tangeres, are gammon

to those who can see through them.And capital is gammon Capital is avery nice thing if you can get it It isthe desirable result of trade Atradesman looks to end with acapital But it's gammon to say that

he can't begin without it You might

as well say a man can't marry unless

he has first got a family Why, hemarries that he may have a family.It's putting the cart before the horse

It's my opinion that any man can be

a duke if so be it's born to him Itrequires neither wit nor industry, nor

whatsoever A man may sit still in hisarm-chair, half asleep half his time,and only half awake the other, and

be as good a duke as need be Well;it's just the same in trade If a man isborn to a dukedom there, if hebegins with a large capital, why, I forone would not thank him to besuccessful Any fool could do as much

as that He has only to keep onpolishing his own star and garter,and there are lots of people to swearthat there is no one like him

But give me the man who can be a

duke without being born to it Give

me the man who can go ahead intrade without capital; who can beginthe world with a quick pair of hands,

a quick brain to govern them, andcan end with a capital

Well, there you are; a youngtradesman beginning the worldwithout capital Capital, though it's abugbear, nevertheless it's a virtue.Therefore, as you haven't got it, youmust assume it That's credit Credit Itake to be the belief of other people

in a thing that doesn't really exist.When you go into your friend Smith'shouse, and find Mrs S all smiles, yougive her credit for the sweetest of

tempers Your friend S knows better;but then you see she's had witenough to obtain credit When I draw

a bill at three months, and get itdone, I do the same thing That'scredit Give me credit enough, and Idon't care a brass button for capital

If I could have but one wish, I wouldnever ask a fairy for a second or athird Let me have but unreservedcredit, and I'll beat any duke of eitheraristocracy

To obtain credit the only certainmethod is to advertise Advertise,advertise, advertise That is, assume,assume, assume Go on assumingyour virtue The more you haven't

got it, the more you must assume it.The bitterer your own heart is aboutthat drunken cook and that idlehusband who will do nothing to assistyou, the sweeter you must smile.Smile sweet enough, and all theworld will believe you Advertise longenough, and credit will come.

But there must be some nous inyour advertisements; there must be

a system, and there must be somewit in your system It won't sufficenow-a-days to stick up on a blankwall a simple placard to say that youhave forty thousand best hose justnew arrived Any wooden-headedfellow can do as much as that That

might have served in the olden timesthat we hear of, twenty years since;but the game to be successful inthese days must be played in anothersort of fashion There must be somefinish about your advertisements,something new in your style,something that will startle in yourmanner If a man can make himself areal master of this art, we may saythat he has learnt his trade,whatever that trade may be Let himknow how to advertise, and the restwill follow.

It may be that I shouldn't boast;but yet I do boast that I have madesome little progress in this business

If I haven't yet practised the art in allits perfections, nevertheless I flattermyself I have learned how to practise

it Regarding myself as something of

a master of this art, and beingactuated by purely philanthropicmotives in my wish to make known

my experience, I now put thesememoirs before the public

It will, of course, be urged against

me that I have not been successful inwhat I have already attempted, andthat our house has failed This istrue I have not been successful Ourhouse has failed But with whom hasthe fault been? Certainly not in mydepartment

The fact is, and in this my preface Iwill not keep the truth back from adiscerning public, that no firm onearth,—or indeed elsewhere,—could

be successful in which our Mr Jones

is one of the partners There is anoverweening vanity about that manwhich is quite upsetting I confess Ihave been unable to stand it Vanity

is always allied to folly, and therelationship is very close in theperson of our Mr Jones Of Mr Brown

I will never bring myself to say onedisrespectful word He is not nowwhat he was once From the bottom

of my heart I pity his misfortunes.Think what it must be to be papa to

a Goneril and a Regan,—without the

Cordelia I have always looked onMrs Jones as a regular Goneril; and

as for the Regan, why it seems to methat Miss Brown is likely to be MissRegan to the end of the chapter

No; of Mr Brown I will say nothingdisrespectful; but he never was theman to be first partner in anadvertising firm That was ourmistake He had old-fashioned viewsabout capital which were veryburdensome My mistake was this,—that in joining myself with Mr Brown,

I compromised my principles, andheld out, as it were, a left hand tocapital He had not much, as will beseen; but he thought a deal of what

he had got, and talked a deal of ittoo This impeded my wings Thisprevented me from soaring Onecannot touch pitch and not bedefiled I have been untrue to myself

in having had any dealings on thebasis of capital; and hence has itarisen that hitherto I have failed

I make these confessions hopingthat they may be serviceable to trade

in general A man cannot learn agreat secret, and the full use of agreat secret, all at once My eyes arenow open I shall not again make sofatal a mistake I am still young Ihave now learned my lesson morethoroughly, and I yet anticipate

success with some confidence.

Had Mr Brown at once taken myadvice, had his few thousand pounds

commencing a true system ofadvertising, we should have been,—Ican hardly surmise where we shouldhave been He was for stickingaltogether to the old system Mr.Jones was for mixing the old and thenew, for laying in stock andadvertising as well, with a capital of4,000l! What my opinion is of Mr.Jones I will not now say, but of Mr.Brown I will never utter one word ofdisparagement