The Big Cheese (AKA Recordkeeping for Knuckleheads)Allen Hancock A.R.M.A pdf

How can I help you?” “I need to know what a record is,” I told him as I handed him my business card.. I think that in order to know that you first need to understand why you have to keep

The Big Cheese (AKA Recordkeeping for Knuckleheads)

Allen Hancock A.R.M.A.

Smashwords Edition Copyright 2010 Allen Hancock Cover design by A Hancock Photograph from MS Office Clipart

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She burst into my office, her cheesy grin a ray of sunshine on a cold, dark, rainy winter’s afternoon

“Detective, er … Um?” she said looking at the name plate on the frosted glass door panel

I fumbled as I stood from where I had been dozing at my desk, trying without success to keep my brain from going blank, rows of Zs stretching across my computer screen where my finger had come to rest

“The name’s Ulm,” I told her “U-L-M Charlie Ulm Like Kingsford Smith’s co-pilot.”

“Kingsford what?” she asked

“Doesn’t matter, Miss er …”

“Brianna Munro,” she said

“Won’t you take a seat, Miss Munro?”

“Please Everybody calls me Brie1 ”

I summed her up quickly I could see that beneath the tough outer layer she put across she had a soft, inner texture that would melt quickly under pressure Even though she had a fairly delicate nature I figured she could be deliciously blue when the mood took her

A stack of my case files teetered precariously on the client chair in front of the desk I looked around quickly for somewhere else to put them and my eyes focussed

on the first vacant space I found The top of the waste bin

“That’s not a good idea,” she said reading my mind “Somebody in our office did that with some pretty important files They forgot about them until next morning after the cleaner had thrown them out We spent a lot of time searching through dumpsters and there’s still no sign of them.”2

“No chance of that happening here,” I said “The cleaner only comes once a week and that was yesterday.”

Her eyes quickly took in the chaos around me I couldn’t tell whether she didn’t believe it was only a day since the cleaner had been in or if I actually had a cleaner at all

“In a way that’s why I’m here,” she said straightening her skirt as she sat down I could see she had legs that went all the way up to the sensible length hem

“I work for Mr Jarlsberg3,” she explained “He’s the big cheese in our office at City Hall

“This Jarlsberg sounds like he can be a bit on the nose,” I said “A real hard block”

“No,” she said “Beneath his leathery skin Mr Jarlsberg is really a softy inside Not like our old boss, Mr Stilton4 Now he could really be a stinker”

“After the incident with the cleaner, Mr Jarlsberg decided it was time to clean up the recordkeeping in our office He’s assigned me the job of taking care of it but I know nothing about records I need your help.”

“Recordkeeping isn’t exactly my own specialty either,” I told her I didn’t want to

do myself out of a fee but I didn’t want to raise any false hopes “You’d better tell me what you do know.”

“I know I gotta keep stuff, Charlie, but … Who has to keep what? And how do they keep it?”

“That’s not a lot to go on,” I said “I guess I can make some enquiries I know a couple of people who know a couple of people I’ll let you know when I find out something.”

“Thanks, Charlie I’m counting on you.”

“I’ll try,” I told her “But I think we need to start with what a record is exactly.”

The City Records Office was one of those places I knew nothing about I imagined

a grey place full of dusty relics, lifeless people working long days with even longer faces I thought I knew the type, but if I was going to find out what a record was it would be there

The door must have been opened a million times before and I became person number one million and one It groaned mournfully on opening as if it had had

enough of its dull, monotonous existence and wanted to go the glass and metal scrap heap in the sky As I pondered the life of a door, a voice called to me

“Good afternoon, sir,” a friendly voice said “My name is Colby5 Sorry about the door I’ll make a record of it in the building management system to ensure the matter

is attended to as quickly as possible How can I help you?”

“I need to know what a record is,” I told him as I handed him my business card

“That’s simple, Detective, er … Um?”

“The name’s Ulm,” I told him “U-L-M Charlie Ulm Like Kingsford Smith’s co-pilot You know, the Southern Cross.”

“Ah, the Southern Cross! Not a hotel I frequent but I’ve heard it’s nice”

“Doesn’t matter I was asking about what a record is”

“As I said, it’s simple It’s all contained here in the city’s policy and standards on recordkeeping Here, take this copy, or if you prefer, it’s available on our web site It’s linked to the master version which is saved and maintained for authenticity and preservation as an electronic record in the recordkeeping system”

“But all of that is a bit complicated for the average knucklehead like me to

understand,” I said “I’m no dummy but I do a lot of important stuff Records aren’t exactly a priority.”

“They’re not?” he said “Put simply, a record is anything, in any format that

documents what you did, what you discussed or what you decided.”

“So anything can be a record?” I asked jotting the detail into my notebook

“That’s right,” he said “It could be a formal letter, a photograph, a voice

recording Even the notes you’re writing in your book are a record.”

I looked at my notebook Suddenly I began to understand “And it can be in any format I assume you mean it could be paper or digital?”

“That's right,” he said “If you can derive information from it then it can be a record Paper, digital, it doesn't matter You could write it across the sky in letters that would soar a thousand feet high6 if you wanted to Of course you'd then have a

problem with its long term preservation but it would still be a record.”

“And a record documents what you ?” I asked writing furiously

“What you did, what you discussed, what you decided Records provide evidence

of what action you took; any communication you had with other people; and how you reach the decisions you made and communicated what those decisions were.”

I thanked Colby for his help and as I left the building I glanced over my notes hoping that they'd make some sense later on

What is a record?

Anything

in Any format

that Documents

what you Did

what you Discussed

what you Decided

Then it hit me Like a smack in the face from a 2-ton van

…

The high visibility markings on the side of the road works van parked at the curb was mocking me “You knucklehead,” it seemed to call out

“You knucklehead, Charlie.” I looked up and the blue birds flapping around my eyes finally focussed on the raven-hair firmly attached to the head of my old friend Carrie de l’Est7 “You knucklehead,” she said again “What did you think you were doing?”

A few minutes later I was sitting in an arm chair in Carrie’s office, a packet of frozen peas from the convenience store downstairs pressed against my face to help keep the swelling down That was Carrie all over She loved small animals and she would never have been able to leave me lying in the street

Carrie worked in the city’s client services area and we had a lot in common Carrie was a case worker and I was working a case I told her what I’d been working on

“So you know you gotta keep stuff, Charlie,” she said, “but you want to know who has to keep what stuff and how do you keep it? I think that in order to know that you

first need to understand why you have to keep stuff.”

“I guess we have keep stuff to comply with the law,” I said

“Ah yes,” Carrie said “The ‘C’ word Compliance But we don’t do things merely

to comply with the rules Rules all have a reason behind them You don’t run with scissors just because your mother told you not to You don’t run with scissors because you could get hurt, or you could hurt somebody else.”

“So why do you as a case worker keep records?” I asked her “Why is

recordkeeping important? As a case worker I guess you're really at the nitty-gritty end

of the client services function then.”

“I suppose you could say that,” she said “The reason the department exists is to support the clients that we case workers look after.”

“No clients, no department then You must be really busy Too busy for something

as uninteresting as keeping records?”

“Yes,” she agreed, “we are busy We have a lot of clients Looking after them is our main priority but recordkeeping is still very important in helping us to do that There are a lot of reasons for us to keep records but to me these four are the most important And they apply to everybody, not just to us case workers

Firstly, records protect our clients’ interests They help us to plan how we can improve the services we provide to them They tell us what we're doing well, what we could do better and they help to identify what we should be doing that we're not doing.”

“Recordkeeping also enables us to share information between people who need to use it and who are authorised to have access to it Otherwise we can't give our clients the best service we can give them.”

“Hmm,” I said “I hadn’t thought of it that way So, as far as you're concerned the most important reasons for keeping records are for the benefit of your clients then?”

“That's right,” Carrie agreed, “but like everybody we're also accountable

Carrie looked around to see if anybody was listening Then she gestured for me to come closer and she put her lips closer to my ear

“Its part of the Code,” she whispered.

“The Code?” I said suddenly aware of the tension in the room you could slice and serve on a cracker

“Yes, the Code The Code of Conduct The Code says that we’re all accountable Keeping records is important to help us to support that

“So you could say that without records there is no accountability?”

“Yes And without accountability where would we be?”

I shrugged

“Nowhere, Charlie,” she said “We’d be nowhere Finally, records represent the corporate memory of our organisation.”

“Corporate memory?” I said “What sort of bureaucratic nonsense is that?”

“I know it sounds a bit airy-fairy,” Carrie said “But none of us is here forever I'd like to think that when I leave I've made a difference In the long term the only thing I'll leave behind me are the records of the work I've done and the people I've helped Keeping records helps me to contribute to our collected body of knowledge.”

“So in other words, everything that everybody in your office ever did for any of its clients is in its records But how do you make time for recordkeeping when you're so busy looking after the clients?”

“That's the amazing thing about keeping records,” Carrie said “We don't really notice we're doing it We all create records everyday but the most important thing is what we do with them For case workers like me we keep records in the case

management system.”

“People who create traditional documents like Word and emails keep them in the document and records management system We use several systems that manage our information and they are all part of the corporate recordkeeping system.”

“It actually doesn't take up any more time to keep records properly than any of us already spend doing in our daily work And when we keep them in their electronic format it takes up hardly any time at all What time it does take is more than made up for by the time we save trying to find information that hasn’t been managed well.” Now it all made sense Except for one small thing

“It all makes sense, Carrie,” I said, “Except for one small thing What records does

a person need to keep?”

“I’m glad you asked,” she said “When I found you in the street just now, I went through a standard routine that those of us trained in first aid go through

automatically.”

“I’m sorry,” I said “I can’t remember a thing.”

“That’s all right You were a bit out of it for a while there The routine is based on DRABC Danger, Response, Airway, Breathing, Circulation A simple thing really but it means we do everything we need to do in the order we need to do it without stopping to think about it

“We can do the same thing for recordkeeping by using First Aid for Records It means we don’t have to stop and ask whether we need to keep something or not.”

“First Aid for Records is based on ABCDE.”

“A is for accountability As I said before, we’re all accountable and keeping records helps us to be accountable If a document supports our accountability we should keep it.”

“B is for business activity Records need to be kept of every business activity or transaction we carry out in our daily work That could mean any activity from paying

a bill or reporting on a complex investigation.”

“C is for communication Every time we communicate with a member of the public or with another agency, and often people within our own agency, we need to keep it as a record.”

“D is for decision-making Decision-Making 101 requires that we document the major decisions we make and communicate those decisions to the people who need to know about them.”

“And finally, E is for expectation If we expect that something needs to be kept then we should keep it In fact a simple rule-of-thumb is that if we have to ask if we should keep it or not then we should keep it.”

“I thought a rule-of-thumb actually had to involve a thumb,” I said

“That’s right,” Carrie agreed “You need to ask yourself, what you are going to be hung up by the thumbs for Keeping it as a record, or not keeping it as a record?”

“I see,” I said writing notes quickly into my notebook before I forgot

“It’s easy to remember,” Carrie explained

“A – Accountability, B – Business Activity, C – Communication, D – Decision-Making, and E – if you’re still confused, What’s your Expectation?”

“That’s easy to remember,” I said

“I can make it even easier,” Carrie said “With the addition of a couple of dooh

dahs, you can even sing it to the tune of Camptown Races.”

“Probably better if I didn’t try that out in public,” I told her “The last karaoke bar I went to I was asked to leave.”

I thanked Carrie for her help and promised to catch up with her again soon for a macchiato

She said “OK, so long as it’s fair trade coffee and you bring the muffins.”

“Fair enough,” I told her, “Mac and muffins it is.”

“Just remember one thing,” Carrie added “There’s never been a judge who got up anybody for being too diligent in keeping records Only for not being diligent

enough.”

As I walked back out into the street quietly humming to myself I looked over my notes

Oh Dooh Dah Day.

Why is recordkeeping important?

Records help to improve services

Records help improve efficiency through sharing information

Records support accountability

Records contribute to corporate memory

What records should we keep?

A – Accountability,

B – Business Activity,

C – Communication,

D – Decision-Making,

and E – if you’re still confused, What’s your Expectation

Then it hit me

Like a smack in the Achilles tendon from a runaway mobility scooter

As I picked myself up from the ground I noticed the frail, white-haired granny trying to explain to the beat cop why she thought that a mobility scooter had the inalienable right to travel through pedestrian traffic at twice their speed

…

My head thumped like a tin drum as I limped my way back to the office It had been a long day and the night fell early under the gathering rain storm I was about to get drenched and I knew what I needed I changed direction I headed for my local The rain was dripping from the brim of my Trilby as I pushed through the door, the glare of the flashing neon lights reflecting like coloured stars from the drops slashing through the darkness

The local was quiet A couple of kids in the back giggling quietly A guy drinking

on his own in the corner booth and two goons sitting two booths up The goons went quiet as I walked in, their eyes following me across to the bar They looked serious and I tried not to look back at them even though their resemblance to each other was

eerie Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber was all I could think of.

I perched my backside onto the bar stool “The usual thanks Romano8,” I said

“You look like you’ve had a bad day,” he said noticing my shiner that probably glowed brighter than the neon outside.”

“Better make it a double,” I said “Who’d a thought recordkeeping could be so dangerous?”

“One double-shot, decaf, low-fat latte coming up,” Romano said while he banged the old grinds out of the coffee drippy thingy and topped it up with fresh stuff

“Recordkeeping eh You should talk to Ol’ Burford9.” Romano pointed to the guy

in the corner booth “Word on the street is that he knows records An’ not just stuff about who can slam down how many espresso shots in the shortest time either.”

Suddenly I felt like I was being watched Romano appeared to be looking past my shoulder towards the corner booth I turned and saw the man beckoning to me

I got up from the stool and walked over to him still feeling the eyes of the two goons in the other booth boring into me

"I hear ya been lookin'?" the man said

"Who's askin'?"

"I hear ya been lookin' to clean up Clean up the messy recordkeeping."

"I am," I said handing him my card "Who are you?"

"I can help you,” he said He looked at the card, his eyes screwed into a squint as

he held it at arms length “Detective, er … Um?”

“The name’s Ulm,” I said “U-L-M Charlie Ulm Like Kingsford Smith’s co-pilot You know, the first flight from San Francisco to Sydney.”

“Ah yes, Sydney,” he said “I once knew a young man from Sydney

“And I suppose he drank till he ruined his kidney,” I added

“He drank and he drank till he stank and he stank,” he continued

“But he had fun doin’ it didn’e.” I concluded

“I can help you,” he said “I see the problems around here I hear what goes on Most people just call me Old Burford That’s cos my name’s Burford and I’m old.”

I sat down at the table “I know what a record is,” I told him “I know what records

to keep and I know why we keep them Now I need to know what to do with records.”

“How to keep records and where to keep records is pretty much the same thing Records need to be kept in the recordkeeping system But the problem is it all comes down to rules Few people are following them.”

“So why should records be kept in the recordkeeping system?” I asked “Why can’t

I just keep records where I like? I would have thought that it was more important that

I just kept them without having to worry about a recordkeeping system.”

The old man sighed “Recordkeeping is not rocket science But even rocket

scientists keep records.”

“Let me put it this way,” he said “Take out your wallet.”

I was hesitant but I did as he asked

“Now give me all your money,” he told me “Don’t worry, I’m just going to look after it for you.”

I didn’t move I’d been stung before Like that time with the email from the guy in Nigeria

“What’s keeping you?” he asked “Don’t you trust me? What if I told you to put it all in the bank? Would you be more comfortable with that?”

“I suppose I would,” I admitted

“So what’s the difference? I’d have given you your money back, so would the bank.”

“I suppose the bank has rules it has to follow.”

“And that’s the difference between letting a stranger look after your money or even hiding it under your bed There aren’t any rules With the bank there are rules that the bank has to comply with so your money is protected.”

“It’s the same with the recordkeeping system It applies rules to your records so you know they’re protected It applies rules that ensure the records accurately reflect the transactions they document Rules that ensure they’re adequate for the purpose for which they’re kept Rules to ensure they remain authentic Rules to ensure they’re complete, that they’re compliant with the legal environment they were created in That they’re comprehensive and they document the complete range of your business activities That they’re inviolate, they’re securely maintained to prevent unauthorised access, alteration or removal And that they remain meaningful They retain their context so anybody can correctly understand the transactions that created them.”

“Wow!” I said as I furiously took down what he was saying

“If you kept records any old way none of these rules would be applied.”

“So what sort of rules are we talking about?” I asked

“Saving a record means placing it into the recordkeeping system,” he explained

“We do this by applying explicit information to the record which establishes

relationships between it, its creator and the business context in which it originated So the questions we ask include: Date of creation? Date of capture? Author? Access status? Related documents?”

“The recordkeeping system uses this information to accurately re-trace the status, structure and integrity of the record at any particular time, and to show its

relationships with other records.”

“And don't forget that emails must also be saved as records If they contain

information relating to your business they must be treated in the same way as any other form of record and saved in the recordkeeping system.”

“The recordkeeping system applies rules about who can access the records What level of risk does the information represent? What is the likelihood that the wrong people will get hold of it? What would be the consequences if they did? The higher the likelihood and the more serious the consequences of information getting in the wrong hands, the more you need to restrict access But always remember, the more you restrict access, the harder it will be for the people who need the information to get

it as well.”

“Let me ask you a question What do you think is more important? Stopping

people getting at your information, or knowing that they did get it?”

I had to think for a moment I remembered Old Burford’s comparison with putting

my money in the bank

“I guess that if my money was kept under my mattress nobody else would know it was there so it should be pretty safe But if somebody did get to it I wouldn’t know unless I looked and even then it would probably be too late to do anything I guess I could make the money harder to get to by maybe putting a safe under the bed but that would only make it harder for me to keep an eye on it and more likely that the theft wouldn’t be noticed.”

“On the other hand by keeping it in the bank, yes somebody could still steal it but there would be evidence that it was gone and an audit trail to show when and how it was stolen.”

“Exactly,” he said “That’s what the recordkeeping system does It can’t stop every situation But it does keep an audit trail so you can tell that the information has got out and give you the chance to do something about it any damage.”

“So I guess it would be more important to know when people got your information than trying to stop them altogether.”

“Another set of rules that the recordkeeping system adds,” Old Burford went on,

“are the rules around retention and disposal.”

“What’s retention and disposal?” I asked I soon regretted the question I felt it rather than heard it A movement behind me, a change in the atmosphere

As I turned slowly Old Burford said softly, “Let me introduce you to the boys.” Behind me stood the two goons I’d seen watching me earlier Even close up I couldn’t tell them apart They had the same shifty eyes, the same set of the jaw, the same shock of red hair They even had the same scars on their cheeks although each

on a different side

“These are my boys, Red Lester10 and Blue Vinnie11

“Boys, this is Detective, er … Um?”

“The name’s Ulm,” I said “U-L-M Charlie Ulm You know Smithy’s co-pilot.”

“Oh yeah,” said Red Lester “We know Smitty.”

“Used to run a game at the back of Kelly’s Bar and Grill,” added Blue Vinnie

“Lester is a disposal authority,” said Old Burford, “and Vinnie is a retention

schedule They always work together In the recordkeeping system we use them to …

ah Well ….we use them to get rid of records that have … Ah Records that have outgrown their usefulness, so to speak

“Yeah”, said Lester “I’m the Disposal Authority And my bruddah’s the Retention Schedule

“He authorises the disposal of records according to my schedule” said Vinnie

“One of us aint no good widdout the uddah but togedder, youse better be careful Togedder we make up the retention and disposal authority.”

“But we don’t do nuttin without de Keeper’s say so.”

“The Keeper?” I asked

“Yeah da Keeper of Public Records12,” said Lester “The Keeper authorises the disposal of records by issuing us.”

“A bit like taking out a contract to ah, take them out,” said Vinnie “A contract covering the removal of records from operational systems Sometimes we can destroy them Sometimes we have to send them off to da big house The Archives.”

“That’s for the records that have to be put away, poimanently.”

“And we need to be used on a systematic and routine basis too.”

“Otherwise the records will get out of control.”

“We decide what records are to be kept.”

“How long they gotta to be kept.”

“And, at what point records can be destroyed.”

“And we always carry out our business in a way that protects the confidentiality of any information the records contained.”

I flinched as Lester reached under his jacket but I relaxed again as he pulled out a sheet of paper “We always keep a list,” he said “A record of the records destroyed,

as well as a reference to the appropriate disposal classes This must be made and kept when records are destroyed

“Thanks boys,” Old Burford said and much to my relief the two goons faded once more into the background

“Without the recordkeeping system there would be no rules No rules means

chaos.”

“I see,” I said “There’s obviously a lot to this recordkeeping than first meets the eye A lot of hard work.”

Old Burford shook his head “No,” he said “In the recordkeeping system most of this stuff happens without anybody even knowing its happening It’s actually a lot of

hard work if you don’t keep records in the recordkeeping system But you do have to

make some fairly simple decisions when you save records Probably the most

important is using the Classification Scheme.”

“The Classification Scheme What’s that?”

Old Burford pulled out his fob watch and flipped it open “Sorry,” he said “It’s late and they lock the doors at the retirement home in five minutes.”

I called out as he hobbled towards the door followed closely by Red Lester and Blue Vinnie “How can I find out about the Classification Scheme?”

Old Burford stopped in the doorway and looked back “Go and talk to Gordon the Foul Mouthed Chef,” he said “He runs Zola’s Restaurant over at the Ritz13 He’ll help you.”

“Gordon the Foul Mouthed Chef,” I said “Isn’t he the guy …?”

“No,” said Old Burford before I could finish “You’re thinking of the other guy.” With that Old Burford hobbled out into the street, the door swinging behind him leaving the café suddenly quiet

Before I went to go back to the office I left Romano a tip “Always keep good records,” I told him

“I always do,” he said “It’s one of the fundamentals of any business As the judge once told me, if you’re gonna do business, you gotta keep records14.”

As I walked out into the street I reread the notes in my notebook

Keep records in the recordkeeping system

The recordkeeping system ensures that records remain:

- Adequate

- Authentic

- Complete

- Compliant

- Comprehensive

- Complete

- Inviolate

- Maintained

- Meaningful